- Speaker #0
Our story starts with the dungeon, a vast underground network of caves and tunnels that spans the entire length of Throne, the Kingdom of Heroes. Scholars and mages often speculate on the existence of such a place, a habitat separate from the surface that thrives without sunlight. The most intriguing and mysterious part of this labyrinth is the isolated ecosystem that persists even with the constant barrage of chaotic forces. Many from the surface have ventured into the dungeon. Very few have returned, but the few to survive brought back unbelievable treasures. Jewelry with colors never seen before, or strange magical metals that can never be broken. Adventuring became an industry, and slowly but surely the dungeon was going to be conquered. Or so the people thought. The dungeon would be underestimated time after time again. Thousands upon thousands of names have been carved onto the cold stone entrance of the dungeon. Souls lost to the nightmares that dwell within. And one of those names is Elara Wilde, a young lady who traveled far from her village in hopes to find riches and adventure. Little did she know, she would get her wish, but in ways she would never expect. We find ourselves in the inky depths below. Single torch burning against the obsidian void. Episode 1, Alone but Not Alone.
- Speaker #1
It's so dark in here. And it's so tunnel-y. If I had to describe this place, it would be dark and tunnel-y. And wet. Surprisingly wet.
- Speaker #2
Come over here quietly and stay out of sight.
- Speaker #1
Oh man, sneaking around like this is really hard. You can do this, Alera. Just imagine the shock on everyone's faces when you come back with a buttload of treasure. First, I'm going to pay back all the money my parents owe. Then I'll buy a horse. Ow!
- Speaker #3
Watch your step, new girl. Have you heard of this thing called bending before? It's what you're supposed to do with your knees when you sneak around.
- Speaker #1
Sir, I have a medical condition. I literally am doing the best I can, but I was born with a condition called weak knees.
- Speaker #3
Weak knees? Wha, that can't be real.
- Speaker #1
It undoubtedly is real. Hold on, let me check my pouches.
- Speaker #3
Hey, get down!
- Speaker #1
Oops, sorry.
- Speaker #3
That was way too close. What the hell do you think you're doing, new girl? If that skeleton saw you, you would have ruined our chances of finding loot. Wait, do skeletons have eyes?
- Speaker #1
I'm terribly sorry. I was just looking for this scroll. Here, take a look.
- Speaker #4
Hmm.
- Speaker #3
Daniel, what does it say? It's a note from some medicine woman named Zellbeth. And? It says that Alera has the worst case of weak knees ever recorded in her village. So, it's a doctor's note? Yep, our new recruit has a doctor's note. Oh, wow.
- Speaker #2
Lads, that's enough now.
- Speaker #3
Did you hear? New girl can't sneak. She has a doctor's note.
- Speaker #2
I did. But what I also heard was my two lads being impolite to an important addition in our party. Now, what did I always say about adventuring?
- Speaker #3
If they're smart enough to run, then they're smart enough to call for help.
- Speaker #2
I don't recall ever saying that.
- Speaker #3
Why die first when you can get someone else to do it?
- Speaker #2
Nope. I don't recall that particular comment either.
- Speaker #3
But that last one you say all the time. Yeah, pretty much right before this cave.
- Speaker #2
Yeah, so are you guys stupid?
- Speaker #3
Yeah. No. Wait.
- Speaker #2
Um, lads, remember we used to do things to survive, but now… Now we're good and we take care of our new recruits, don't remember?
- Speaker #3
Oh! Oh, shit. Yeah. I remember now. We're going to use them as bait. See, I'm not stupid. That's the definition of irony right there. You're so stupid. Hey, don't lump me in with him.
- Speaker #2
Look, what was your name again? Wait, where did she go? Wait,
- Speaker #3
where did she go? Who? The new girl? Yes. She, uh, snuck away while we were talking. What?
- Speaker #2
Clever girl. Fuck, we needed her for the trap room.
- Speaker #3
She couldn't have gone far.
- Speaker #2
Which direction, Dan? Uh.
- Speaker #3
Follow me.
- Speaker #2
How the fuck did she sneak away?
- Speaker #0
Yeah,
- Speaker #3
I thought she had fucked up knees.
- Speaker #2
Fuck Daniel. Fucking idiot.
- Speaker #1
What did I do? I'm lost in a dark cave and surrounded by monsters and the worst part, I'm all alone.
- Speaker #5
My poor girl, you're not alone. You always have your prince.
- Speaker #1
Charles, you're a doll that's stuffed into my pack.
- Speaker #5
If I had my real body again, I'd show you. I'd make quick work of those ruffians who sought to take advantage of you. I would have protected the honour of my fair maiden.
- Speaker #1
We're in real danger here, Charles. A doll I stitched together when I was twelve isn't going to help me right now.
- Speaker #5
Well, yeah. That's why I prefaced what I said earlier with if I had my real body again. That was bloody rude, innit?
- Speaker #1
What am I going to do?
- Speaker #5
What are you going to do?
- Speaker #1
How am I going to escape?
- Speaker #5
How are you going to get out?
- Speaker #1
Am I gonna die here?
- Speaker #5
Are you going to die here?
- Speaker #1
Going to die here?
- Speaker #5
I think you know the answer.
- Speaker #1
I'm going to die here. Yep. I'm going to die here. Mm-hmm. Oh shit! Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit!
- Speaker #5
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Speaker #1
Oh no, oh fuck. Oh fuck! Shit! Yep. Fuck. This can't be happening. I can't die here! Wanna bet? There's so many things I haven't done yet!
- Speaker #5
Well, can't argue with that.
- Speaker #1
I didn't even get to experience the thing yet!
- Speaker #5
The thing?
- Speaker #1
If I die here, that means I never found love my whole entire life. Wait, did you just- That's so sad! What the fuck? I spent my life savings on learning my first spell and it was all for nothing. I'm so stupid. Damn it. Elara Wilde, you are an idiot. This is all your fault. You chose this. There's something here. Huh? Oh
- Speaker #5
Oh
- Speaker #3
Oh
- Speaker #1
Oh Oh
- Speaker #2
Shit
- Speaker #3
That did not sound good What is that thing?
- Speaker #0
That's a big fucking monster
- Speaker #3
With everything you got Wait,
- Speaker #1
wait,
- Speaker #3
that thing is resistant to physical weapons
- Speaker #0
That sounds really bad We need to get the fuck out of here
- Speaker #1
I thought we needed her
- Speaker #0
I'm not dying No! Okay! The Plunge in Dungeon presents A Tavern in the Dungeon Once a month you'll hear stories about a legendary tavern ran by a group of misfits who try to provide a safe haven for those who adventure deep in the dark labyrinths of the dungeon. Until the day the tavern shuts down, you will be able to enjoy the magical ballads and tales woven by Sylvia for free. Brunac is preparing one of his delicious stews, just in case you have an extra coin to spare. And if you like what you hear, consider tipping the staff. As the proprietor of this tavern, I am obligated to tell you listeners that the tales within these four walls are meant to be funny, often dark, but with just enough goodness to balance you out. It's another day here in Haven. The ale is stocked, the instruments tuned, and the food is a-stewing. All you have to do is open the door. See you inside. A Tavern in the Dungeon.
- Speaker #4
Delicious. What tasteful morsels of music, Sylvia. Mm-hmm. Light, crisp, simply elegant. Mm-hmm.
- Speaker #6
And if I give it just a little bit more love...
- Speaker #1
See?
- Speaker #6
I told you it would be awesome.
- Speaker #4
Wow. No other words, just wow.
- Speaker #6
I knew you'd like it.
- Speaker #4
How did you come about this... enchanting sound? It's as if your strings are infused with life and energy known stonely to them.
- Speaker #6
I already told you, big guy. It's my magic touch.
- Speaker #4
Right, and by magic touch I assume you mean real magic? Ugh,
- Speaker #6
do we really need to label magic as real or not?
- Speaker #4
Well you see, real magic requires spell components, tangible physical objects that sort of represent the internal concepts of the spell that is being cast. Hmm. Hmm. Well it appears you might be losing interest so let me be frank.
- Speaker #6
Hi Frank.
- Speaker #1
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- Speaker #4
Ha ha. I believe you are using real magic to make your mundane string instrument sound like whatever this is, and thus requires you to use a spell component as per the rules of spell casting. Today I awoke in my usual chambers, not all stirred but the dust floating near my lamp. And it is to my surprise that I have not yet seen the light of the night. that the toenail of my big toe has been so callously ripped from its desired location. I would also like to mention that the assailant did not cover my wound, and we all know ogre blood is acidic in nature. Mm-hmm. I will be adding a list of bed linens and blankets in my list of grievances.
- Speaker #6
Can this boring conversation be ogre yet?
- Speaker #4
Ah, yes, very funny. You bards are quick to puns. However, as I was saying, there is a matter of a missing toenail. so brutal was the acquisition i went to investigate and not five steps away from my room here you are testing your new-found trick and i can't help but notice that the object you're holding to pluck your strings is in fact the toenail that had been so savagely torn from my big toe no it's not there's hardly any effort in your lie that is my toenail this is not your toenail yes it is Should I start squeezing your small little head until it pops, or should I just start eating you whole?
- Speaker #6
Better back the fuck up, gigantus.
- Speaker #4
Sylvia, I respect your talent and what it's done for this tavern, but I am going to kill you, I'm sorry.
- Speaker #1
I said back the fuck up!
- Speaker #4
Ugh.
- Speaker #6
I'd stay down if I were you.
- Speaker #4
All you accomplished was boiling my water. Oh,
- Speaker #6
I'll do more than boil your water.
- Speaker #4
I guess I could start with a light, insignificant breakfast. Mm-hmm.
- Speaker #7
Children, calm down or Mommy will get upset.
- Speaker #4
This matter is none of your concern, Laureline.
- Speaker #7
When things start to break, it does.
- Speaker #4
Tell that to... her!
- Speaker #7
One hundred and sixty-eight years old and you're still pointing fingers. Always so quick to anger.
- Speaker #4
Mm-hm-hm.
- Speaker #7
And you... Gorim took you in when you were a little child? Practically raised you and this is how you repay him? By breaking apart the tavern he poured his entire heart and soul into?
- Speaker #6
I guess I have major daddy issues.
- Speaker #7
Oh, come off it. We all do.
- Speaker #4
Actually, not all. My kind reproduces through a symbiotic relationship with a particular type of fungus only found in dark, damp caves.
- Speaker #1
Ugh,
- Speaker #6
that sounds terrible. See? This is why I act out.
- Speaker #4
It is actually quite an elegant process. It very much is a rare treat to observe.
- Speaker #7
Give me that. Hey. Hey.
- Speaker #0
Mm-mm.
- Speaker #6
You're quick for an old lady.
- Speaker #7
Some say the quickest.
- Speaker #4
First time I ever heard of that.
- Speaker #6
Now, give me back my strings, Laurelyn.
- Speaker #7
After you clean up the mess you made, I would like you to think upon who it is you addressed, Sylvia, before you respond with your usual reckless abandon.
- Speaker #6
Whatever.
- Speaker #7
Where are you going? Do not go out that door, Sylvia. That little bitch!
- Speaker #4
The problem with her obviously lies within her demon ancestry. The very blood in her veins is volatile. She appears calm on the outside, yes, but inside... Inside rages a fiery furnace being fuelled by heavens knows what.
- Speaker #7
She's the dungeon's problem now. Let's hope that Gorham finds her out there before... well, anything else does.
- Speaker #4
She'll be fine. Did you not just witness what she can do to a full-grown ogre?
- Speaker #7
It was something she has a gift.
- Speaker #4
Poor girl.
- Speaker #7
Oh, my dear. Brunach, you're missing a toenail.
- Speaker #4
On second thought, she should never come back.
- Speaker #7
Go get Theron and ask him to patch you up. Hurry along now. I don't want you dripping acid all over the place. I already have a mess to clean.
- Speaker #4
He hates when we interrupt his prayers. But between you and me, I love it. Oh, Theron!
- Speaker #3
Ha!
- Speaker #7
I'd better start cleaning up. The tavern will be opening soon. I wonder what's taking Gorim so long.
- Speaker #1
There I was, laying there on the ground of the cave, dying. I felt so cold, freezing almost. I remember asking myself, in those final moments, Why? Why? Why did I come here? Why did I have to die? Why can't I just go home?
- Speaker #0
Hey! Hey! Stay with me! Dad? Listen to me. You need to swallow, okay?
- Speaker #1
Swallow!
- Speaker #0
Breathe. Breathe. Sid, you're okay. Your wounds are healing up. Good.
- Speaker #1
Inside's burning.
- Speaker #0
Burning? Dad?
- Speaker #4
Sylvia?
- Speaker #6
What's happening?
- Speaker #0
What are you doing in the dungeon?
- Speaker #6
Who is that?
- Speaker #0
Sylvia, go and tell Theron we need an antidote.
- Speaker #6
He won't come out here.
- Speaker #0
He didn't have to. I'm bringing her in.
- Speaker #6
No, you can't.
- Speaker #0
She's poisoned. She's going to die.
- Speaker #6
You can't make that choice for her.
- Speaker #0
Sylvia, go!
- Speaker #6
One day, she will hate you for this.
- Speaker #0
I know. Trust me girl, I know.
- Speaker #1
Dear Mom and Dad, I know I haven't written in a while. It hasn't been easy to find enough time in the day. You know, walking for hours on end is exhausting, and we do it every single day. We travel along the same road, we see the same trees, and it's always the same people passing us by. I don't even remember when I last washed up. Maybe that town we stayed the night in? That was five days ago. I've been living inside my bedroll, eating dry, stale rations, and my inventory of clothes and underwear is dwindling. At an alarming rate. But still, there's something wondrous about this. Traveling to new lands, seeing things I've never seen before, meeting new types of people with unique features I never knew existed. There's only one word I could ever use to describe this feeling. Magical. Or wait, freedom? I'll have to think about it some more. Hope you all are doing well. I think about each and every one of you every day while I walk. It's peaceful at times, and I smile remembering our happy memories together. Don't worry about me. I promise I'll take care of myself. You'll see. I'll be home in no time with more coins than you can count. I better get some sleep now. It's going to be another long day of walking tomorrow. Ugh, I hope my knees don't slow me down. I'll be fine. I'm an adventurer now, and I won't give up. I'll be back in no time, so hold on until then. Your loving daughter, Alara Wilde. P.S. Whenever I feel like I'm a- When I'm alone, I always remind myself that I'm not, because, well, I have you.
- Speaker #0
Thanks for visiting Haven, a tavern in the dungeon. Catch us next time on Sunday night, the first week of every month. If you'd like to tip the staff, head over to patreon.com forward slash plungindungeon. We hope you enjoyed the show, and remember all you have to do is open the door. See you inside a tavern in the dungeon.
- Speaker #1
Thank you.
