Speaker #1Hello and welcome to the podcast. I'm your host, Alyssa Murphy, and if what Kevin has just shared resonates with you and you find yourself on a similar path, I invite you to book a free discovery call with me where we can go deeper into what you want to change in your work life and how I may be able to help to get you there. The link is in the show notes. So this morning, I am recording deep in the heart of the Cornish countryside. I have just climbed up a hill called Kith Hill and I found one of the only sheltered spots that I could under an oak tree. And I'm looking out and we're actually above the cloud line. I have a feeling that it is raining down below and I can see... for miles and miles across the Cornish countryside. And I'm here because I'm about to start on a two-day tour of incubator farms in this local area. It's an EU-funded trip and a great opportunity for me to learn about how you get funding into... new farms and into small-scale agriculture and it's interesting because I'm very excited and I'm also I don't know if nervous is the right word but there's definitely like a kind of squirmy feeling it's been it's been quite a journey to get here um I live right on the other side of the country so I broke the journey into two days so there's been lots of driving and kind of staying in digs and a lot of it has felt kind of uncomfortable and I've sort of oscillated between feeling like I'm embarking on this incredible adventure, which of course I am, feeling so grateful for the opportunity to come and to be moving deeper into work that I'm really excited about and then also just feeling like what the hell am I doing? Like where am I? What am I doing on the other side of the country? And you know, am I ready to articulate what it is that I'm building and will I be accepted? And you know, am I going to be in a group full of like deep agricultural experts? Am I going to feel out of place? Are they going to... understand what I'm doing. There's a lot of kind of like newbie kind of energy to it and that's not a place that I've been in for quite a long time. You know I started my first company nearly six, no more than 16 years ago now. You know I've done that journey of being a beginner and sort of having to sort of, you know, prove yourself and make your way. And then I got to enjoy quite a long period of sort of being an expert at what I did and having a brand and a reputation around me and, you know, being invited, having doors opened, you know, all of that kind of thing. And now it's really a period of beginning again. And of course I get to bring... all of that experience with me but there's definitely a kind of uncomfortable edge to it and that is the topic that I want to explore today as I can hear raindrops falling on the tree canopy above me. I've got a feeling that rain might be about to descend. The weather changes really quickly up here. Yes, my topic today is really that uncomfortableness as you begin again in your career. And I actually wanted to share some words that Kevin, who we heard from at the beginning of the episode shared with me. They were... This was a concept that one of his spiritual guides had given to him and that he passed on to me at exactly the time that I needed to hear it and I wanted to share it with you today in case it's also exactly the idea that you need to hear. Dear that Kevin shared with me, it's so important when you're going through growth to recalibrate your expectation of what good feels like. What felt good to you when you were at the height of your, quote, successful traditional career is not going to be the same thing that feels good to you as you discover your new path in your work. But this period, it doesn't feel safe. It doesn't feel familiar. And Kevin describes this as being on the edge of your emergence, which is a really beautiful phrase. And I think we can keep this in mind as we go through this transition stage of leaving a career that has almost certainly defined our sense of self to quite a significant degree, that has been our safe place for a prolonged period of time. And as we move into what I like to call the kind of messy middle, you know, when we're no longer part of that world of work that we were before, but we haven't yet fully found our path forward, or we're very much in the early stages of designing and testing and building. The creation process doesn't feel safe a lot of the time. It certainly doesn't feel secure. Kevin described this to me as being on the high rope and that that's okay because you're making things happen and that is actually a truth that I have lived most of my life by. All of the incredible things that I have done in my life have been really scary, have forced me really far outside of my comfort zone, you know, whether that was, I don't know, auditioning for drama school or, you know, getting up on stage in front of people or leaving acting to move into the world of business or starting my own company, you know, having my children, leaving my company, you know, all of those big kind of formative milestones were... difficult and uncomfortable and you know had me questioning whether I was good enough whether I you know was choosing the right path whether I had what it took and I think it's a really helpful reminder that it's supposed to feel that way that that uncomfortableness the ickiness the sort of sense maybe of being lost is exactly where you need to be because it is a sign that you are really and truly making changes. You are becoming a new version of yourself and whether or not that feels like what you wanted to do when you set out to make changes in your career, that is what is happening. You're making the transition from conventional and corporate work into Thank you. Meaningful self-directed work is a huge identity shift and every time we choose to do something new, something we haven't done before, something perhaps that hasn't been done before which is the kind of work that really excites me and I love supporting people in and I love doing myself, you know, it's gonna feel messy, it's gonna feel uncomfortable, we're gonna feel like a baby giraffe. I don't know if you've ever seen a video of a baby giraffe trying to take its first few steps It's hilarious, their legs just go all over the pace, they're kind of covered in slime, they're falling over and they just keep at it and keep at it and in a very short period of time they are off, up and running. And that baby giraffe feeling will likely start to kick in as soon as you start really taking seriously the idea of leaving your corporate job. or leaving the work that no longer gives you that sense of purpose and meaning that you're looking for. Like before you've even left, when you start seriously contemplating, planning around it, starting to have those first few discussions with family and friends, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable as early as that because you are doing something different. You're doing something that A lot of people won't consider sensible, they won't maybe feel safe for you in your choices. So, and then it gets worse, I'm afraid, because you'll have maybe the relief or even the elation when you finally do exit your work situation, particularly if you felt quite unhappy or quite misaligned in that work. But then suddenly you don't have the structure, you don't have the role, you don't have the title, you don't have the hierarchy, you know, you don't have maybe the kind of brand power that you had before those kind of, you know, levers of power that often come with successful careers. And you've got to discover who you are. Without that, you've got to think about what it is that you really want for yourself. You've got to think about how you match what you feel. feel really passionately about with where there is a clear market need and where you can build a financially resilient business and then almost certainly you're going to be taking your work in a direction where there's quite a lot of unfamiliarity even if you're staying in a related sector or you're bringing a lot of your skills and experience with you you may well never have worked for yourself and that can often be terrifying to people. who are used to the security of a regular paycheck, you know, or maybe you are taking this opportunity to move into a field or a sector or a line of work that you've always wanted to do, but that doesn't match up with what shows on your CV. That's kind of where I am. And it feels like, can I really say that I'm working in regenerative agriculture, when I've got 15 years of climate technology experience behind me? You know, There's an uncomfortableness to that too. And then it will gradually get easier as you build your confidence, as you build your body of work, as it becomes more real. I feel that confidence growing with every conversation that I have with a small-scale farmer every time I go to an event. And it comes back to that concept of being at the edge of emergence. Because every time you do something like that, you're kind of pushing your edge that little bit more. You're growing that little bit more. And it does ease and gradually you start to feel that sense of expertise, of security and a kind of comfort in what you do. And then I'm afraid at some point in the future. you're going to want to change it up, you're going to want to take it to the next level, you're going to want to expand or deepen that work and you're probably going to go back to feeling some of that kind of that sense of icky squirminess all over again. It's a good thing, it is a natural part of growth, it is actually to me a signal that I'm heading in the right direction. I used to do a lot of public speaking and also hosting workshops and I often used to say to my team the public speaking times when I get really worried are when I don't feel nervous because those nerves to me are a sign that I'm about to do something exciting, I'm about to try something new, I'm pushing myself and that has become a kind of a signpost for me in my life. When something... feels a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit, a little bit unsafe, I know that I am heading in the right direction. So I offer this episode as reassurance that those uncomfortable and messy feelings that I know you're feeling because everybody that I work with feels them. They are a normal and healthy part of your growth towards meaningful work and if you can really take that on board and kind of reframe that so that instead of feeling like you're doing something wrong or you shouldn't feel that way or that it's somehow a sign that you're failing or not progressing, that actually it's really a signal of success and of growth, I think that can be extremely helpful. Lean in to the discomfort. It is meant to feel uncomfortable. Well, the rain just about held off. I have only confused a couple of dog walkers as you may have heard in the background and it is time for me to head back down this hill and go and visit my first farm and challenge myself to meet new people and share my ideas and step further into this identity with this new work that I am building and I hope that you have opportunities to do the same thing with whatever form of meaningful work you are building this week. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you back here soon.
