Speaker #0Welcome, everybody, to another episode of the Growth Gym podcast, where growth is a journey and not a destination. This is your host, Chris Briggs, and I thank you to all our listeners. Thank you for joining us for another episode. And I hope that you are doing well today. Hey, I need you to subscribe. I need you to share this with somebody. I need you to get this into somebody's hands that you know that needs to join us on this growth journey. Hey, you know how we do it on the Growth Gym Podcast. Hey, get your pen and paper out, get your notes out because I got some great gems I want to share with you today. Because have you ever been in a moment in your life Things are just happening and things are changing in your life. And it's not per se because you think you're better than people. It's not per se because, you know, people will make you feel bad because of growth. People will make you feel bad because you're doing, you know, you are making different choices and making a difference because they are stuck and you are doing something different with your life. It's not because you think you are better than them. grateful, but it's the fact of where you're going. The reality is that there are some people who can no longer follow you in your life. The people who were with you in 25, some of them can't go with you in this season in your life. And sometimes that it hurts, but it's a true reality that's something that we don't want to face and something that we don't want to come with grips with. But it's a true fact that sometimes that life will have us in different seasons, and it will cause us to have to leave some people, some places, and some things behind. All right? So this is the first growth gem that we have to understand. We have to understand the awkward reality, the awkward realization that, you know, at first you didn't notice it. You didn't notice it. You know, y'all still laugh together, still connected, still familiar. But something feels different. And you ever been there or you may even be there now where something just feel different. Your conversations don't land the same. They're not the same. Your excitement isn't shared. It's like it's one-sided or your hunger don't feel, it feels misunderstood that some people feel neglected because of the immaturity and you start shrinking your ideas because you're thinking it's you, but it's not you, it's really them. And I want to say to you, don't never shrink your ideas or your vision. to fit in somebody else's box. Never shrink your ideas, your vision and what you have purpose in your heart to become and want to be, to fit in somebody else's box, to fit somebody else's imagination, to fit somebody else's mindset concerning you. And so what happens is you start feeling uncomfortable and you stop sharing really what is stirring up in your heart because Now what you begin to have is caution conversation. Caution conversation is when I share with you with only. with only what I feel comfortable in sharing with you. I'm very lenient and I'm very, well, not lenient, I'm very limited on the details because not all the time people will celebrate you. And so sometimes what you do when you share what's in your heart, not every time is it met with excitement, but sometimes it's met with silence. with skepticism and resistance. And here's the hard part that we don't want to face about the awkward reality of our circle becoming smaller, is that your circle has become bad and is now including bad people because vision, your vision has grown. Your vision, you're becoming more aware of your vision and your vision. has outgrown your circle. And so growth always creates distance before it creates alignment. Sometimes people will make you feel bad because, you know, you're growing. And especially in those cautious conversations, you have to be careful of people because it's a setup. People who will tell you everything and everything they have going on. And here goes their response. What you got going on? And you don't want to lie, but you know that if I tell them they are not going to celebrate, they are going to, I would say some will question my ability or question is that really, am I really capable of achieving that? And so when we look at our circle becoming small because of the vision, we have to first acknowledge the awkward realization that sometimes is awkward. You know, and I want to say sometimes it could be your friends, your family, coworkers, sometimes. And who? Yeah, this is the hard reality. The hard reality is this. Sometimes we do it to ourselves because we talk too much and we put our trust in people too much because of the familiarity. So what we have to understand, the awkward realization, but then we have to understand when familiarity can't follow faith because some people who know who you are, but some to really understand who you're becoming. Some people, people understand who you are, but they do not have the capacity to understand really who you are, who you are becoming. And so what they fail to do, they fail to relinquish and evict the person of the past and do not want to invite and welcome the person you are becoming. So their conversation will always be who you are. It will always pertain to the person you are and not the person you're becoming. Are y'all catching me? Because they are attached to the version of who you are now. Because here it goes, they are attached to the person you are now because the person you are now make them feel comfortable. There is comfortable to them and they don't have to. They don't have to expand their expectations. So if they always feel comfortable and always holding on to who you are in the present and never want to look at and who you are becoming in the future, what happens is who you are and the vision that you have and the plans that you have. now has disrupted their familiarity. And I want to say to somebody, as you're growing on this growth journey, do not fall back victim to familiarity because they are familiar and have become familiar. And I want to say this, sometimes familiarity will rob us of expanding ourselves and being who we are. Vision requires risk. Vision requires faith. Vision requires change. And not everybody wants to go where faith demands growth. So the question is. So they question you and question who you are and question your vision. And what they do, they minimize your vision because they can't wrap their mind around it. Just because someone was assigned to your past doesn't mean they are required for you in your future. Just because they were assigned, they was assigned to your past does not mean they are required to your future. Some people, you may love them, but you can't take them with you. You can't carry them everywhere you go because they're not, they can't put their mind around who you are and the vision that you have. They are stuck in the past. They always talk about what you used to do, what you, how you used to be, what we used to do. And it's never about who we are becoming. It's never about that. It's always about what we used to do. And so what happens is when people don't understand who you are, not only what happens is there is a guilt of outgrowing people. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about this guilt. Because when vision outgrow your circle, you start questioning yourself. You start feeling guilty because guilt sometimes will have you changing your mind. comes with guessing, second-guessing yourself. Am I changing too much? You start to question yourself. Am I leaving people behind? Why can't they see what I see? You feel torn between loyalty and obedience. And I think a lot of times we are afraid to leave because of loyalty. And we fail to reach our potential in life and where we're trying to go because we're too loyal to a season. We're too loyal to a person. And I understand that loyalty is good. Yes, we need loyal people. You need people who will ride and die for you. You need people who are down with you like four flat tires on a Cadillac. You need people who are loyal to you. But you can't be so loyal that you fail to reach your next. place or your next season or reach your potential. You can't be too loyal to people. And here's the truth that we don't say out loud when we feel the weight of guilt, because what happens is guilt will leave you between your comfort and your calling. Guilt will have you at a place where you start questioning your calling. Am I really called to this? Am I really chosen for this? I'm supposed to be doing. And a lot of times we do it because of the fact of, we question our calling because of the crowd that's around us. We question our calling because of the crowd and not only the crowd, but the celebration. We question the fact of what we've really chosen for this because we don't get the response. that we think we ought to get. We all been there. We're looking for a certain approval, a certain response from certain individuals that gives us the go ahead, that gives us that approval that, hey, you're doing the right thing. But what about when the people that you expect the approval from, they don't give it to you? So what happens is some people you just outgrow. And you find yourself outgrowing people and you have to come to the grips with that. Even though I grow people doesn't mean that I stop loving them, but it means you stop limiting yourself for them. I don't stop loving you, but I stop limiting myself for you. You know how many opportunities I have missed in life? Because I did not want to disappoint an individual or because I was trying to do something or go a certain way. And because of individual couldn't go with me, I didn't do it. You can honor people without building your future around their limitations. And it may be your family, but growth don't always look like addition. Sometimes growth look like subtraction. Growth, not all the time will look like addition, but sometimes it's going to look like subtraction. Sometimes we look at growth as something that is going to be added to us. But sometimes growth notice in order for a plant to grow, there has to be some picking of the weeds. It has to be those dead leaves got to be plucked off in order for it to grow. Sometimes it has to be transferred from some good soil, from bad soil to good soil. some fertilizer has to be placed on it. So don't look at it as I'm not growing and you look at the addition that I am. And sometimes I want to say this, that it may hurt. There's going to be some loneliness and you become frustrated because you're trying to explain to people what only Or let me reword that. You're trying to explain to people your vision and you can't expect people to understand what's been called to your life. You can't expect people to understand what's been purposed for you. You can't expect people to understand what has been called and placed on And so you become frustrated because you're looking for people to understand you. And they really not. They really not. And so what happens is when your circle become small and it shrinks, sometimes it's intentional because the next level for your life and the next season of your life requires. Clarity. The next season of your life requires clarity. Too many voices can cause confusion. Too much access can cause distraction. So sometimes you got to remove people out of your life, not for punishment, but for preparation for where you're trying to go. You're preparing yourself in preparation for focus, preparation for maturity, preparation for weight and even having carried the weight that you haven't even carried yet. Everyone can't walk with you into new territory. Some people are seasonal necessity. But then there are some people who are therefore seasoned, therefore reasoned. There are some people who are there for a lifetime, but then there are some people who are just there for a moment. And you have to understand that. And I understand that as being a pastor in a church. I understand some people are going to be at my church that the Lord has allowed me to pastor. Some people are going to be there for a lifetime. Some people are going to be there for a season. Then some people are just going to be there for a moment. And you have to understand, sometimes we have to shrink our circle, our vision, because too much can be deadly to us. Too much. Too many voices. Too much access to you. You're giving too much of yourself. You are doing too much explaining. You're giving too much. And here it goes. giving you their opinions and giving you their thoughts. And you ask them what you think. And you have to be careful when you ask a person what they think, you do not know what the response to your question is going to be. And especially when you try to come to people who you trust, you ought to have a person in your life that you called a trusted voice, a person who can speak in your life, a person who can correct you. a person who can direct you. So you need a trusted voice in your life. And sometimes you have to go to that trusted voice to allow them to speak life into you, allow them to speak direction to you because the reality is friends, we do not know it all. That's why we are in this community of growing together because we don't know it all. I don't know it all. We don't know it all. So we are coming together and growing together. And one of the hardest challenges that you have to learn, one of the hardest challenges in our lives is learning how to walk with fewer people. Learning how to walk with fewer people. When your vision grows, your circle often gets smaller, but it becomes stronger. And when it becomes smaller, you're dealing with fewer opinions, more alignment, less noise, and more peace. You'll stop needing validation. And you'll start trusting. Remember, you'll start trusting in obedience and trusting that voice, that individual, that trusted voice. You become comfortable in being misunderstood because you can't expect people to, you can't expect cloudy people to have clear, clear eyesight about your vision. People who are cloudy about their lives will never have clarity about your life. People who are cloudy and can't see the vision for their lives, how can you expect them to see clearly about the vision for your life? How can you expect them to see the good and see the vision that's for you? Sometimes the confirmation doesn't come from people. Sometimes the confirmation that your vision is the right vision because it comes from progress. But then it comes with conflict. How you know you have the right vision? If everybody agree with you and everybody agrees and take your side, that lets me know that you do not have the right vision because everybody is not going to agree with the vision. So this is what I want to challenge you with. This is what I want to challenge you with. You got to ask yourself, you got to ask yourself, you got to ask yourself these questions as we, who is stretching you and who is stalling you? Who is stretching you and who is stalling you? You got two different people in your life. You got people who are stretching you to go beyond your presence, but you got people who are stalling you to stay in your right now. And where you are, where you are in this moment, you need people who are stretching you. You need people who's going to push you, not pull you. You need people who's going to push you, who's going to propel you and pivot you to the next place you need to be in your life. What's keeping me? What's keeping me from stepping out of the box? What's keeping me? I'm stepping out of the box. I want to challenge you. Stop apologizing for your growth. You don't owe nobody no explanation. You don't owe nobody no explanation for the drive and the enthusiasm and the effort that you're giving. You owe nobody apology. Trust who you are and who you're becoming. And guess what? When you become who you are and you go and push beyond where you are right now in your present, guess what? There is somebody waiting on you on the other side of where you are right now to push you to the next place. There's somebody there's somebody waiting on you. You are afraid. And guess what? You will never reach that person that's on the other side if you're afraid to give up the individuals who are on right now in the present. So you got to let them go because you know that there is something on the other side that's going to push you to the next place where you need to be. You can't be afraid of it. You can't be afraid. Everyone has started with you, won't finish with you. And when vision outgrows your circle, don't abandon your future. There's somebody waiting on the next chapter of your life. They waiting on you to turn the page so they could help be a part of your story. They can't be a part of your story if you were in chapter one, you got to turn the page, turn the chapter so you can reach the full place where you need to be. Hey, this has been Growth Gym Podcast. Your host, Chris Briggs. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode and I hope this episode has been a help and it will continue to allow you to grow and be all that life holds for us to be. Hey, remember growth is a journey and not a destination. Until our next episode, thank you again for joining me.
