Description
What happens when being the strong one becomes too heavy? Chris Briggs explores the pressure to perform, the price of pleasing, the power of protecting your energy, and the practice of pausing. Learn how to set healthier boundaries, prevent burnout, and remain dependable without losing yourself.
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Welcome to the Growth Gems Podcast, where we believe that growth is a journey, not a destination. This podcast is designed to empower you with the necessary tools to unlock your full potential and develop yourself, both personally and professionally. We provide insightful conversations and share inspiring stories that will help you grow emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Our goal is to create a community of like-minded individuals who are on a journey of self-improvement and help you live a more fulfilling life. We aim to equip you with resources, strategies, and growth gems that you can apply in your daily life to achieve your goals and reach your full potential. So, get ready to embark on a journey of transformation and join us in discovering the power of growth.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Growth Gym podcast, where growth is a journey and not a destination. I'm your host, Christopher Briggs, and I am so glad you have decided to spend these next few minutes with me. whether you are listening on your morning commute, taking a walk. working out, or just simply taking a break from a busy day, thank you for inviting me into your world. You know, I need you to get your pen and paper out, get your notes out. Also, share this with somebody. Also, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel, to our podcast, and also you can follow us on social media, on our social media platforms. Y'all, I know it's been a while, but I'm glad I'm back. Um, just. taking some time off to rest, to reflect, and to reset. And I can't tell y'all to do it, and I don't do it myself. And so today we're talking about being that strong one. And here's something that I've noticed. The strongest people are often the most overlooked. They are the ones that everyone depends on. The ones who always show up, the ones who... rarely complain because but behind every strong individual, there's often a weight that no one else sees. Today's conversation is for the people who have been and who have become everyone's else support system. Because here's today's question. How do you stay strong without losing yourself. And I understand because I was having a conversation with my family just the other week, and because of the line of business that I'm in as being a licensed funeral director, my mother, my brother, my grandmother, we were having a conversation, and all of them stated that if something happened to them, they told their significant others or have expressed to me. That I was supposed to be the one that everybody should call. Even my father, when he passed, he told his wife, call Chris. Call Chris. And a lot of times that messes with my emotions. And when I say mess with my emotions, because I cannot. properly grieve. And when I say properly, I properly grieve because I'm in business mode. I know I have a responsibility and I always want to fulfill my responsibility. All right. And so that is why I try my best, my best abilities to make sure that I am fulfilling what is, what is of me, what is acts of me. And so I can't grieve properly. I can't. I have to handle business first and then grieve secondly. So how do you stay strong without losing yourself? And there may be somebody who's listening that you feel like, OK, I'm the strong one out of my family, out of my friends, even on my job. I'm the strong one. Everybody depends on me. And there is a weight that there is a weight. Um, there's a W E I G H T weight, but then there's also a W A I T weight. Because you're feeling the weight, the W-E-I-G-H-T weight of people's burdens. You're feeling the weight of responsibility. But then the W-A-I-T weight is that you have to put yourself on pause so you can fulfill and be there for everybody else. So how do we, what do we discover? We discover, first of all, the pressure. to perform, that there is a pressure to perform. I hope you got your pen and paper out as we continue to navigate through this growth journey. Have you ever noticed the more capable you become, the more people expect from you? Even at work, you are the problem solver at home. You're the planner among your friends. You're the advice giver. And eventually your calendar becomes full because you're not because you're irresponsible, but because you're reliable. And reliability is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it can become dangerous when your identity gets wrapped up in always being the one who delivers. You're dealing with the pressure to perform. And you stop. And you stop asking, is this something I should do? And instead you ask, how can I fit one more thing into my schedule? And that's when the pressure quietly replace your purpose because you're trying to fit things into your schedule. But here's the truth. Your value isn't determined by how much you accomplish. No worth. exists long before your resume, your title, or your achievements. And so if you ever, if ever achievements disappear, if you ever lose your achievements, would you still have your value? You can never confuse what you do with who you are. Many of us have that pressure to perform. There are certain expectations. That not only that you put on yourself, but there are certain expectations that people put on you and it has become a weight. There are certain expectations that people are looking out of you because you're supposed to be the strong one. You're supposed to be the one, the confidant, the advice giver, the counselor. And so people are looking for all that from you and it's becoming a weight and you're dealing with the. pressure to perform. And so not only do you look at the pressure to perform, but here goes the second growth gem I want to drop on you. You look at the price of pleasing. Let's talk about something many of us struggle with, people pleasing, right? At first, it don't look dangerous. It looks kind, looks helpful, looks generous. But underneath those good intentions can be an unhealthy fear of disappointing others. So to keep from being disappointing everybody, what I do is I begin to say yes. I say yes to extra work, yes to other. committees, on my job. I say yes to another favor and another yes to another obligation until one day I realized you've been so busy meeting everybody else's expectations that you've stopped paying attention to your own needs. And that's one thing that we become so engaged in and so committed into pleasing people. that you forsake your own needs, what you desire. And here's the question worth asking. Are you saying yes, because it's the right thing to do or because you're afraid of letting someone down? Who are you afraid of letting down? So you say yes, yes, yes. And the thing that really causes Us to please people is the fact that we think if we please people that it will be reciprocated. We try to please people and also we please people and live under the law and the principle of reciprocity. That if I give this, it's going to be given back to me. There is an important distinction between this because healthy people understand that every yes automatically creates a no. That's good. Healthy people understand that every yes I say out of my mouth automatically creates a no. Let me explain it just to give you a little more clarity. Because when I say yes to something unnecessary, you start saying no to something else. So when I say yes to something that's unnecessary, that I feel like I got to please a person, I feel like I got to... be this and be that, I'm saying no to something else. I may be saying no to my needs, my family, my health, my peace, or simply the opportunity just to rest. And every unnecessary yes has a cost to it. And many of you, and we have been sacrificing our rest, relaxation, our our moment of Sabbath. We have sacrificed because we have always felt like we had to say yes. Make sure you're paying for the right things. Make sure that you are not giving in to everybody else's opinion and thoughts and trying to please people. Say yes to you. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no. And if people don't understand your no, they may not understand your journey. If people can understand that, hey, I just can't do it. It may be it may be the fact of they don't understand your journey. They don't understand your purpose. They don't they don't even understand you. Because if you love me enough and you care for me enough, what you're going to do. You're going to make sure I don't overexert myself. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to rest. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to relax. All right. Here goes the next one. You got to look at the power of protecting. The power of protecting. And many of us fail to operate in the power of protecting. We don't believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in protecting our purpose. We don't believe in really protecting ourselves. Because what you got to understand, think about it. Your smartphone, it has incredible capabilities. But when the battery gets low, what do you do? You plug it in, right? You don't criticize it for needing a charge. You don't trade your phone out because... You have to put it on the charger. Now, there are times when we let our battery go down so low, we work our battery. We work our battery that it lose its impact, its capabilities. So there are times when we have to trade our battery in. But just simply putting it on the charger, we don't judge it. We don't criticize it because it needs a charge. You don't call it weak. You understand that. power requires renewal. So, Doc, why do we expect then ourselves to operate differently? If we have to put our phone on the charge, why don't you think we have to put ourselves on the charge? Why do you think we don't have to protect our energy, protect our body, our health, our minds, our souls? Why do you think we don't have to protect that? Because I think people make you feel like protecting your energy is selfish. And it's not. People will make you feel like protecting your energy, protecting your well-being, protecting your mind, emotions. It's selfish. But it's responsibility. It's not selfish. It's responsibility. I respect me enough and I hold fast to my responsibility that I protect. I protect my time. I protect my sleep, my peace, my relationship. and even my mental health. Not because you're trying to avoid life, but because you want to show up fully when life needs you. And you ought not to be running on fumes. Quit running on fumes. Quit. Get you some rest. Relax. Quit. Hey, you can't make it. You can't make it. There's some things you just can't make it to. And I had to realize that about life. There's some things I just can't show up for. There's some things my body just won't let me do. There are some times when, hey, people know, hey, I can call him. He's going to be there. Yes. And it all depends on the circumstance. There's some things I just can't make. So you have to understand. You got to set the key thing is how do I protect myself? is boundaries. I have to build boundaries. They are filters. They help you decide what deserves access to your time and your attention. And everybody don't deserve it, right? Everybody don't deserve it. Everybody don't deserve your time, your energy. So take some time. Take some time. Well, I got to do, guess what? It's going to be there. And even if you're working on your job, this is what I discovered. If something happened to you, guess what? They may come up with a card, a plaque, maybe. But guess what? And within the next week or so, they're going to have your job posted for somebody else to be doing it. Don't overexert yourself trying to please people. Protect yourself. I don't understand. I don't understand how people got 800, 900 hours of sick leave. Man, you better use that time. Well, I understand you never know what may happen. I clearly understand that. But you have the time. You need to use that time and take some mental days. Take some time away from it. Because you give, give, give yourself to that job. You give, give, give yourself to that relationship, to your friendship, to whatever. You got to take some time away, right? But then you got to practice the practice of pausing. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is learning to stop. That's good. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is about stop. learning to stop. Pause before committing. Pause before you react. Pause before saying yes. Pause before taking another responsibility. The small pause creates space for wisdom. The most intentional people don't simply manage their schedules. They manage their energy. And this begins with you making room to breathe. Pause. When is the last time you've taken time to pause? When is the last time you just paused? I leave you with this last growth gem. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Here goes your challenge for this week. Write that down and think about it and live it this week. Here's your challenge. Take 15 minutes of quiet minutes this week. Take 15 quiet minutes this week. Draw three columns on a sheet of paper. And the first column, what am I carrying? The second column, what exactly belongs to me? And then the third column, what I need to release. And be honest with yourself. Awareness is often the first step towards meaningful change. And you'll be surprised that a lot of us have more in what I'm carrying than we have what actually belongs to me. And I want to tell you, the first column and the third column are going to have way more than the center column. Actually, what belongs to me. And a lot of times we're carrying people burdens. We're carrying people hurt. We're carrying people's. I mean, we're carrying so much of others. And you'd be surprised how much actually of this belongs to me. Not much of it. And you're having heart attacks, headaches, anxiety because you're carrying somebody else's weight. I want to challenge you. to release what is not yours. All right. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. And if today's episode and conversation added value to your life, I would love for you to share it with someone who has a habit of carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. And if this episode spoke to you, subscribe so you'll never miss another conversation we have. Growth isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming the healthiest, the strongest, and the most authentic version of yourself. I'm your host, Chris Briggs, and this has been another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. Thank you.
Welcome to the Growth Gyms Podcast. I'm so grateful to have you here with us today. I truly hope that you've enjoyed and learned something valuable from today's episode. Our goal is to provide you with the insights and inspiration you need to supercharge your growth journey, whether it's in your personal or professional life. As you know, growth is a never-ending adventure. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. But it's those very challenges that help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. So no matter where you are in your growth journey, keep pushing forward, keep learning, and keep growing. If you haven't already, please hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on future episodes. We have some amazing topics lined up. that I know you won't want to miss. Also, follow us on social media. Facebook, Chris Briggs. Twitter at cabriggsSR. Instagram at cabriggsSR. Thank you for tuning in today. And I can't wait to see you again on our next episode of the Growth Gems Podcast.
Description
What happens when being the strong one becomes too heavy? Chris Briggs explores the pressure to perform, the price of pleasing, the power of protecting your energy, and the practice of pausing. Learn how to set healthier boundaries, prevent burnout, and remain dependable without losing yourself.
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Welcome to the Growth Gems Podcast, where we believe that growth is a journey, not a destination. This podcast is designed to empower you with the necessary tools to unlock your full potential and develop yourself, both personally and professionally. We provide insightful conversations and share inspiring stories that will help you grow emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Our goal is to create a community of like-minded individuals who are on a journey of self-improvement and help you live a more fulfilling life. We aim to equip you with resources, strategies, and growth gems that you can apply in your daily life to achieve your goals and reach your full potential. So, get ready to embark on a journey of transformation and join us in discovering the power of growth.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Growth Gym podcast, where growth is a journey and not a destination. I'm your host, Christopher Briggs, and I am so glad you have decided to spend these next few minutes with me. whether you are listening on your morning commute, taking a walk. working out, or just simply taking a break from a busy day, thank you for inviting me into your world. You know, I need you to get your pen and paper out, get your notes out. Also, share this with somebody. Also, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel, to our podcast, and also you can follow us on social media, on our social media platforms. Y'all, I know it's been a while, but I'm glad I'm back. Um, just. taking some time off to rest, to reflect, and to reset. And I can't tell y'all to do it, and I don't do it myself. And so today we're talking about being that strong one. And here's something that I've noticed. The strongest people are often the most overlooked. They are the ones that everyone depends on. The ones who always show up, the ones who... rarely complain because but behind every strong individual, there's often a weight that no one else sees. Today's conversation is for the people who have been and who have become everyone's else support system. Because here's today's question. How do you stay strong without losing yourself. And I understand because I was having a conversation with my family just the other week, and because of the line of business that I'm in as being a licensed funeral director, my mother, my brother, my grandmother, we were having a conversation, and all of them stated that if something happened to them, they told their significant others or have expressed to me. That I was supposed to be the one that everybody should call. Even my father, when he passed, he told his wife, call Chris. Call Chris. And a lot of times that messes with my emotions. And when I say mess with my emotions, because I cannot. properly grieve. And when I say properly, I properly grieve because I'm in business mode. I know I have a responsibility and I always want to fulfill my responsibility. All right. And so that is why I try my best, my best abilities to make sure that I am fulfilling what is, what is of me, what is acts of me. And so I can't grieve properly. I can't. I have to handle business first and then grieve secondly. So how do you stay strong without losing yourself? And there may be somebody who's listening that you feel like, OK, I'm the strong one out of my family, out of my friends, even on my job. I'm the strong one. Everybody depends on me. And there is a weight that there is a weight. Um, there's a W E I G H T weight, but then there's also a W A I T weight. Because you're feeling the weight, the W-E-I-G-H-T weight of people's burdens. You're feeling the weight of responsibility. But then the W-A-I-T weight is that you have to put yourself on pause so you can fulfill and be there for everybody else. So how do we, what do we discover? We discover, first of all, the pressure. to perform, that there is a pressure to perform. I hope you got your pen and paper out as we continue to navigate through this growth journey. Have you ever noticed the more capable you become, the more people expect from you? Even at work, you are the problem solver at home. You're the planner among your friends. You're the advice giver. And eventually your calendar becomes full because you're not because you're irresponsible, but because you're reliable. And reliability is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it can become dangerous when your identity gets wrapped up in always being the one who delivers. You're dealing with the pressure to perform. And you stop. And you stop asking, is this something I should do? And instead you ask, how can I fit one more thing into my schedule? And that's when the pressure quietly replace your purpose because you're trying to fit things into your schedule. But here's the truth. Your value isn't determined by how much you accomplish. No worth. exists long before your resume, your title, or your achievements. And so if you ever, if ever achievements disappear, if you ever lose your achievements, would you still have your value? You can never confuse what you do with who you are. Many of us have that pressure to perform. There are certain expectations. That not only that you put on yourself, but there are certain expectations that people put on you and it has become a weight. There are certain expectations that people are looking out of you because you're supposed to be the strong one. You're supposed to be the one, the confidant, the advice giver, the counselor. And so people are looking for all that from you and it's becoming a weight and you're dealing with the. pressure to perform. And so not only do you look at the pressure to perform, but here goes the second growth gem I want to drop on you. You look at the price of pleasing. Let's talk about something many of us struggle with, people pleasing, right? At first, it don't look dangerous. It looks kind, looks helpful, looks generous. But underneath those good intentions can be an unhealthy fear of disappointing others. So to keep from being disappointing everybody, what I do is I begin to say yes. I say yes to extra work, yes to other. committees, on my job. I say yes to another favor and another yes to another obligation until one day I realized you've been so busy meeting everybody else's expectations that you've stopped paying attention to your own needs. And that's one thing that we become so engaged in and so committed into pleasing people. that you forsake your own needs, what you desire. And here's the question worth asking. Are you saying yes, because it's the right thing to do or because you're afraid of letting someone down? Who are you afraid of letting down? So you say yes, yes, yes. And the thing that really causes Us to please people is the fact that we think if we please people that it will be reciprocated. We try to please people and also we please people and live under the law and the principle of reciprocity. That if I give this, it's going to be given back to me. There is an important distinction between this because healthy people understand that every yes automatically creates a no. That's good. Healthy people understand that every yes I say out of my mouth automatically creates a no. Let me explain it just to give you a little more clarity. Because when I say yes to something unnecessary, you start saying no to something else. So when I say yes to something that's unnecessary, that I feel like I got to please a person, I feel like I got to... be this and be that, I'm saying no to something else. I may be saying no to my needs, my family, my health, my peace, or simply the opportunity just to rest. And every unnecessary yes has a cost to it. And many of you, and we have been sacrificing our rest, relaxation, our our moment of Sabbath. We have sacrificed because we have always felt like we had to say yes. Make sure you're paying for the right things. Make sure that you are not giving in to everybody else's opinion and thoughts and trying to please people. Say yes to you. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no. And if people don't understand your no, they may not understand your journey. If people can understand that, hey, I just can't do it. It may be it may be the fact of they don't understand your journey. They don't understand your purpose. They don't they don't even understand you. Because if you love me enough and you care for me enough, what you're going to do. You're going to make sure I don't overexert myself. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to rest. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to relax. All right. Here goes the next one. You got to look at the power of protecting. The power of protecting. And many of us fail to operate in the power of protecting. We don't believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in protecting our purpose. We don't believe in really protecting ourselves. Because what you got to understand, think about it. Your smartphone, it has incredible capabilities. But when the battery gets low, what do you do? You plug it in, right? You don't criticize it for needing a charge. You don't trade your phone out because... You have to put it on the charger. Now, there are times when we let our battery go down so low, we work our battery. We work our battery that it lose its impact, its capabilities. So there are times when we have to trade our battery in. But just simply putting it on the charger, we don't judge it. We don't criticize it because it needs a charge. You don't call it weak. You understand that. power requires renewal. So, Doc, why do we expect then ourselves to operate differently? If we have to put our phone on the charge, why don't you think we have to put ourselves on the charge? Why do you think we don't have to protect our energy, protect our body, our health, our minds, our souls? Why do you think we don't have to protect that? Because I think people make you feel like protecting your energy is selfish. And it's not. People will make you feel like protecting your energy, protecting your well-being, protecting your mind, emotions. It's selfish. But it's responsibility. It's not selfish. It's responsibility. I respect me enough and I hold fast to my responsibility that I protect. I protect my time. I protect my sleep, my peace, my relationship. and even my mental health. Not because you're trying to avoid life, but because you want to show up fully when life needs you. And you ought not to be running on fumes. Quit running on fumes. Quit. Get you some rest. Relax. Quit. Hey, you can't make it. You can't make it. There's some things you just can't make it to. And I had to realize that about life. There's some things I just can't show up for. There's some things my body just won't let me do. There are some times when, hey, people know, hey, I can call him. He's going to be there. Yes. And it all depends on the circumstance. There's some things I just can't make. So you have to understand. You got to set the key thing is how do I protect myself? is boundaries. I have to build boundaries. They are filters. They help you decide what deserves access to your time and your attention. And everybody don't deserve it, right? Everybody don't deserve it. Everybody don't deserve your time, your energy. So take some time. Take some time. Well, I got to do, guess what? It's going to be there. And even if you're working on your job, this is what I discovered. If something happened to you, guess what? They may come up with a card, a plaque, maybe. But guess what? And within the next week or so, they're going to have your job posted for somebody else to be doing it. Don't overexert yourself trying to please people. Protect yourself. I don't understand. I don't understand how people got 800, 900 hours of sick leave. Man, you better use that time. Well, I understand you never know what may happen. I clearly understand that. But you have the time. You need to use that time and take some mental days. Take some time away from it. Because you give, give, give yourself to that job. You give, give, give yourself to that relationship, to your friendship, to whatever. You got to take some time away, right? But then you got to practice the practice of pausing. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is learning to stop. That's good. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is about stop. learning to stop. Pause before committing. Pause before you react. Pause before saying yes. Pause before taking another responsibility. The small pause creates space for wisdom. The most intentional people don't simply manage their schedules. They manage their energy. And this begins with you making room to breathe. Pause. When is the last time you've taken time to pause? When is the last time you just paused? I leave you with this last growth gem. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Here goes your challenge for this week. Write that down and think about it and live it this week. Here's your challenge. Take 15 minutes of quiet minutes this week. Take 15 quiet minutes this week. Draw three columns on a sheet of paper. And the first column, what am I carrying? The second column, what exactly belongs to me? And then the third column, what I need to release. And be honest with yourself. Awareness is often the first step towards meaningful change. And you'll be surprised that a lot of us have more in what I'm carrying than we have what actually belongs to me. And I want to tell you, the first column and the third column are going to have way more than the center column. Actually, what belongs to me. And a lot of times we're carrying people burdens. We're carrying people hurt. We're carrying people's. I mean, we're carrying so much of others. And you'd be surprised how much actually of this belongs to me. Not much of it. And you're having heart attacks, headaches, anxiety because you're carrying somebody else's weight. I want to challenge you. to release what is not yours. All right. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. And if today's episode and conversation added value to your life, I would love for you to share it with someone who has a habit of carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. And if this episode spoke to you, subscribe so you'll never miss another conversation we have. Growth isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming the healthiest, the strongest, and the most authentic version of yourself. I'm your host, Chris Briggs, and this has been another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. Thank you.
Welcome to the Growth Gyms Podcast. I'm so grateful to have you here with us today. I truly hope that you've enjoyed and learned something valuable from today's episode. Our goal is to provide you with the insights and inspiration you need to supercharge your growth journey, whether it's in your personal or professional life. As you know, growth is a never-ending adventure. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. But it's those very challenges that help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. So no matter where you are in your growth journey, keep pushing forward, keep learning, and keep growing. If you haven't already, please hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on future episodes. We have some amazing topics lined up. that I know you won't want to miss. Also, follow us on social media. Facebook, Chris Briggs. Twitter at cabriggsSR. Instagram at cabriggsSR. Thank you for tuning in today. And I can't wait to see you again on our next episode of the Growth Gems Podcast.
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Description
What happens when being the strong one becomes too heavy? Chris Briggs explores the pressure to perform, the price of pleasing, the power of protecting your energy, and the practice of pausing. Learn how to set healthier boundaries, prevent burnout, and remain dependable without losing yourself.
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Welcome to the Growth Gems Podcast, where we believe that growth is a journey, not a destination. This podcast is designed to empower you with the necessary tools to unlock your full potential and develop yourself, both personally and professionally. We provide insightful conversations and share inspiring stories that will help you grow emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Our goal is to create a community of like-minded individuals who are on a journey of self-improvement and help you live a more fulfilling life. We aim to equip you with resources, strategies, and growth gems that you can apply in your daily life to achieve your goals and reach your full potential. So, get ready to embark on a journey of transformation and join us in discovering the power of growth.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Growth Gym podcast, where growth is a journey and not a destination. I'm your host, Christopher Briggs, and I am so glad you have decided to spend these next few minutes with me. whether you are listening on your morning commute, taking a walk. working out, or just simply taking a break from a busy day, thank you for inviting me into your world. You know, I need you to get your pen and paper out, get your notes out. Also, share this with somebody. Also, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel, to our podcast, and also you can follow us on social media, on our social media platforms. Y'all, I know it's been a while, but I'm glad I'm back. Um, just. taking some time off to rest, to reflect, and to reset. And I can't tell y'all to do it, and I don't do it myself. And so today we're talking about being that strong one. And here's something that I've noticed. The strongest people are often the most overlooked. They are the ones that everyone depends on. The ones who always show up, the ones who... rarely complain because but behind every strong individual, there's often a weight that no one else sees. Today's conversation is for the people who have been and who have become everyone's else support system. Because here's today's question. How do you stay strong without losing yourself. And I understand because I was having a conversation with my family just the other week, and because of the line of business that I'm in as being a licensed funeral director, my mother, my brother, my grandmother, we were having a conversation, and all of them stated that if something happened to them, they told their significant others or have expressed to me. That I was supposed to be the one that everybody should call. Even my father, when he passed, he told his wife, call Chris. Call Chris. And a lot of times that messes with my emotions. And when I say mess with my emotions, because I cannot. properly grieve. And when I say properly, I properly grieve because I'm in business mode. I know I have a responsibility and I always want to fulfill my responsibility. All right. And so that is why I try my best, my best abilities to make sure that I am fulfilling what is, what is of me, what is acts of me. And so I can't grieve properly. I can't. I have to handle business first and then grieve secondly. So how do you stay strong without losing yourself? And there may be somebody who's listening that you feel like, OK, I'm the strong one out of my family, out of my friends, even on my job. I'm the strong one. Everybody depends on me. And there is a weight that there is a weight. Um, there's a W E I G H T weight, but then there's also a W A I T weight. Because you're feeling the weight, the W-E-I-G-H-T weight of people's burdens. You're feeling the weight of responsibility. But then the W-A-I-T weight is that you have to put yourself on pause so you can fulfill and be there for everybody else. So how do we, what do we discover? We discover, first of all, the pressure. to perform, that there is a pressure to perform. I hope you got your pen and paper out as we continue to navigate through this growth journey. Have you ever noticed the more capable you become, the more people expect from you? Even at work, you are the problem solver at home. You're the planner among your friends. You're the advice giver. And eventually your calendar becomes full because you're not because you're irresponsible, but because you're reliable. And reliability is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it can become dangerous when your identity gets wrapped up in always being the one who delivers. You're dealing with the pressure to perform. And you stop. And you stop asking, is this something I should do? And instead you ask, how can I fit one more thing into my schedule? And that's when the pressure quietly replace your purpose because you're trying to fit things into your schedule. But here's the truth. Your value isn't determined by how much you accomplish. No worth. exists long before your resume, your title, or your achievements. And so if you ever, if ever achievements disappear, if you ever lose your achievements, would you still have your value? You can never confuse what you do with who you are. Many of us have that pressure to perform. There are certain expectations. That not only that you put on yourself, but there are certain expectations that people put on you and it has become a weight. There are certain expectations that people are looking out of you because you're supposed to be the strong one. You're supposed to be the one, the confidant, the advice giver, the counselor. And so people are looking for all that from you and it's becoming a weight and you're dealing with the. pressure to perform. And so not only do you look at the pressure to perform, but here goes the second growth gem I want to drop on you. You look at the price of pleasing. Let's talk about something many of us struggle with, people pleasing, right? At first, it don't look dangerous. It looks kind, looks helpful, looks generous. But underneath those good intentions can be an unhealthy fear of disappointing others. So to keep from being disappointing everybody, what I do is I begin to say yes. I say yes to extra work, yes to other. committees, on my job. I say yes to another favor and another yes to another obligation until one day I realized you've been so busy meeting everybody else's expectations that you've stopped paying attention to your own needs. And that's one thing that we become so engaged in and so committed into pleasing people. that you forsake your own needs, what you desire. And here's the question worth asking. Are you saying yes, because it's the right thing to do or because you're afraid of letting someone down? Who are you afraid of letting down? So you say yes, yes, yes. And the thing that really causes Us to please people is the fact that we think if we please people that it will be reciprocated. We try to please people and also we please people and live under the law and the principle of reciprocity. That if I give this, it's going to be given back to me. There is an important distinction between this because healthy people understand that every yes automatically creates a no. That's good. Healthy people understand that every yes I say out of my mouth automatically creates a no. Let me explain it just to give you a little more clarity. Because when I say yes to something unnecessary, you start saying no to something else. So when I say yes to something that's unnecessary, that I feel like I got to please a person, I feel like I got to... be this and be that, I'm saying no to something else. I may be saying no to my needs, my family, my health, my peace, or simply the opportunity just to rest. And every unnecessary yes has a cost to it. And many of you, and we have been sacrificing our rest, relaxation, our our moment of Sabbath. We have sacrificed because we have always felt like we had to say yes. Make sure you're paying for the right things. Make sure that you are not giving in to everybody else's opinion and thoughts and trying to please people. Say yes to you. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no. And if people don't understand your no, they may not understand your journey. If people can understand that, hey, I just can't do it. It may be it may be the fact of they don't understand your journey. They don't understand your purpose. They don't they don't even understand you. Because if you love me enough and you care for me enough, what you're going to do. You're going to make sure I don't overexert myself. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to rest. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to relax. All right. Here goes the next one. You got to look at the power of protecting. The power of protecting. And many of us fail to operate in the power of protecting. We don't believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in protecting our purpose. We don't believe in really protecting ourselves. Because what you got to understand, think about it. Your smartphone, it has incredible capabilities. But when the battery gets low, what do you do? You plug it in, right? You don't criticize it for needing a charge. You don't trade your phone out because... You have to put it on the charger. Now, there are times when we let our battery go down so low, we work our battery. We work our battery that it lose its impact, its capabilities. So there are times when we have to trade our battery in. But just simply putting it on the charger, we don't judge it. We don't criticize it because it needs a charge. You don't call it weak. You understand that. power requires renewal. So, Doc, why do we expect then ourselves to operate differently? If we have to put our phone on the charge, why don't you think we have to put ourselves on the charge? Why do you think we don't have to protect our energy, protect our body, our health, our minds, our souls? Why do you think we don't have to protect that? Because I think people make you feel like protecting your energy is selfish. And it's not. People will make you feel like protecting your energy, protecting your well-being, protecting your mind, emotions. It's selfish. But it's responsibility. It's not selfish. It's responsibility. I respect me enough and I hold fast to my responsibility that I protect. I protect my time. I protect my sleep, my peace, my relationship. and even my mental health. Not because you're trying to avoid life, but because you want to show up fully when life needs you. And you ought not to be running on fumes. Quit running on fumes. Quit. Get you some rest. Relax. Quit. Hey, you can't make it. You can't make it. There's some things you just can't make it to. And I had to realize that about life. There's some things I just can't show up for. There's some things my body just won't let me do. There are some times when, hey, people know, hey, I can call him. He's going to be there. Yes. And it all depends on the circumstance. There's some things I just can't make. So you have to understand. You got to set the key thing is how do I protect myself? is boundaries. I have to build boundaries. They are filters. They help you decide what deserves access to your time and your attention. And everybody don't deserve it, right? Everybody don't deserve it. Everybody don't deserve your time, your energy. So take some time. Take some time. Well, I got to do, guess what? It's going to be there. And even if you're working on your job, this is what I discovered. If something happened to you, guess what? They may come up with a card, a plaque, maybe. But guess what? And within the next week or so, they're going to have your job posted for somebody else to be doing it. Don't overexert yourself trying to please people. Protect yourself. I don't understand. I don't understand how people got 800, 900 hours of sick leave. Man, you better use that time. Well, I understand you never know what may happen. I clearly understand that. But you have the time. You need to use that time and take some mental days. Take some time away from it. Because you give, give, give yourself to that job. You give, give, give yourself to that relationship, to your friendship, to whatever. You got to take some time away, right? But then you got to practice the practice of pausing. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is learning to stop. That's good. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is about stop. learning to stop. Pause before committing. Pause before you react. Pause before saying yes. Pause before taking another responsibility. The small pause creates space for wisdom. The most intentional people don't simply manage their schedules. They manage their energy. And this begins with you making room to breathe. Pause. When is the last time you've taken time to pause? When is the last time you just paused? I leave you with this last growth gem. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Here goes your challenge for this week. Write that down and think about it and live it this week. Here's your challenge. Take 15 minutes of quiet minutes this week. Take 15 quiet minutes this week. Draw three columns on a sheet of paper. And the first column, what am I carrying? The second column, what exactly belongs to me? And then the third column, what I need to release. And be honest with yourself. Awareness is often the first step towards meaningful change. And you'll be surprised that a lot of us have more in what I'm carrying than we have what actually belongs to me. And I want to tell you, the first column and the third column are going to have way more than the center column. Actually, what belongs to me. And a lot of times we're carrying people burdens. We're carrying people hurt. We're carrying people's. I mean, we're carrying so much of others. And you'd be surprised how much actually of this belongs to me. Not much of it. And you're having heart attacks, headaches, anxiety because you're carrying somebody else's weight. I want to challenge you. to release what is not yours. All right. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. And if today's episode and conversation added value to your life, I would love for you to share it with someone who has a habit of carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. And if this episode spoke to you, subscribe so you'll never miss another conversation we have. Growth isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming the healthiest, the strongest, and the most authentic version of yourself. I'm your host, Chris Briggs, and this has been another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. Thank you.
Welcome to the Growth Gyms Podcast. I'm so grateful to have you here with us today. I truly hope that you've enjoyed and learned something valuable from today's episode. Our goal is to provide you with the insights and inspiration you need to supercharge your growth journey, whether it's in your personal or professional life. As you know, growth is a never-ending adventure. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. But it's those very challenges that help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. So no matter where you are in your growth journey, keep pushing forward, keep learning, and keep growing. If you haven't already, please hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on future episodes. We have some amazing topics lined up. that I know you won't want to miss. Also, follow us on social media. Facebook, Chris Briggs. Twitter at cabriggsSR. Instagram at cabriggsSR. Thank you for tuning in today. And I can't wait to see you again on our next episode of the Growth Gems Podcast.
Description
What happens when being the strong one becomes too heavy? Chris Briggs explores the pressure to perform, the price of pleasing, the power of protecting your energy, and the practice of pausing. Learn how to set healthier boundaries, prevent burnout, and remain dependable without losing yourself.
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Transcription
Welcome to the Growth Gems Podcast, where we believe that growth is a journey, not a destination. This podcast is designed to empower you with the necessary tools to unlock your full potential and develop yourself, both personally and professionally. We provide insightful conversations and share inspiring stories that will help you grow emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Our goal is to create a community of like-minded individuals who are on a journey of self-improvement and help you live a more fulfilling life. We aim to equip you with resources, strategies, and growth gems that you can apply in your daily life to achieve your goals and reach your full potential. So, get ready to embark on a journey of transformation and join us in discovering the power of growth.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Growth Gym podcast, where growth is a journey and not a destination. I'm your host, Christopher Briggs, and I am so glad you have decided to spend these next few minutes with me. whether you are listening on your morning commute, taking a walk. working out, or just simply taking a break from a busy day, thank you for inviting me into your world. You know, I need you to get your pen and paper out, get your notes out. Also, share this with somebody. Also, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel, to our podcast, and also you can follow us on social media, on our social media platforms. Y'all, I know it's been a while, but I'm glad I'm back. Um, just. taking some time off to rest, to reflect, and to reset. And I can't tell y'all to do it, and I don't do it myself. And so today we're talking about being that strong one. And here's something that I've noticed. The strongest people are often the most overlooked. They are the ones that everyone depends on. The ones who always show up, the ones who... rarely complain because but behind every strong individual, there's often a weight that no one else sees. Today's conversation is for the people who have been and who have become everyone's else support system. Because here's today's question. How do you stay strong without losing yourself. And I understand because I was having a conversation with my family just the other week, and because of the line of business that I'm in as being a licensed funeral director, my mother, my brother, my grandmother, we were having a conversation, and all of them stated that if something happened to them, they told their significant others or have expressed to me. That I was supposed to be the one that everybody should call. Even my father, when he passed, he told his wife, call Chris. Call Chris. And a lot of times that messes with my emotions. And when I say mess with my emotions, because I cannot. properly grieve. And when I say properly, I properly grieve because I'm in business mode. I know I have a responsibility and I always want to fulfill my responsibility. All right. And so that is why I try my best, my best abilities to make sure that I am fulfilling what is, what is of me, what is acts of me. And so I can't grieve properly. I can't. I have to handle business first and then grieve secondly. So how do you stay strong without losing yourself? And there may be somebody who's listening that you feel like, OK, I'm the strong one out of my family, out of my friends, even on my job. I'm the strong one. Everybody depends on me. And there is a weight that there is a weight. Um, there's a W E I G H T weight, but then there's also a W A I T weight. Because you're feeling the weight, the W-E-I-G-H-T weight of people's burdens. You're feeling the weight of responsibility. But then the W-A-I-T weight is that you have to put yourself on pause so you can fulfill and be there for everybody else. So how do we, what do we discover? We discover, first of all, the pressure. to perform, that there is a pressure to perform. I hope you got your pen and paper out as we continue to navigate through this growth journey. Have you ever noticed the more capable you become, the more people expect from you? Even at work, you are the problem solver at home. You're the planner among your friends. You're the advice giver. And eventually your calendar becomes full because you're not because you're irresponsible, but because you're reliable. And reliability is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it can become dangerous when your identity gets wrapped up in always being the one who delivers. You're dealing with the pressure to perform. And you stop. And you stop asking, is this something I should do? And instead you ask, how can I fit one more thing into my schedule? And that's when the pressure quietly replace your purpose because you're trying to fit things into your schedule. But here's the truth. Your value isn't determined by how much you accomplish. No worth. exists long before your resume, your title, or your achievements. And so if you ever, if ever achievements disappear, if you ever lose your achievements, would you still have your value? You can never confuse what you do with who you are. Many of us have that pressure to perform. There are certain expectations. That not only that you put on yourself, but there are certain expectations that people put on you and it has become a weight. There are certain expectations that people are looking out of you because you're supposed to be the strong one. You're supposed to be the one, the confidant, the advice giver, the counselor. And so people are looking for all that from you and it's becoming a weight and you're dealing with the. pressure to perform. And so not only do you look at the pressure to perform, but here goes the second growth gem I want to drop on you. You look at the price of pleasing. Let's talk about something many of us struggle with, people pleasing, right? At first, it don't look dangerous. It looks kind, looks helpful, looks generous. But underneath those good intentions can be an unhealthy fear of disappointing others. So to keep from being disappointing everybody, what I do is I begin to say yes. I say yes to extra work, yes to other. committees, on my job. I say yes to another favor and another yes to another obligation until one day I realized you've been so busy meeting everybody else's expectations that you've stopped paying attention to your own needs. And that's one thing that we become so engaged in and so committed into pleasing people. that you forsake your own needs, what you desire. And here's the question worth asking. Are you saying yes, because it's the right thing to do or because you're afraid of letting someone down? Who are you afraid of letting down? So you say yes, yes, yes. And the thing that really causes Us to please people is the fact that we think if we please people that it will be reciprocated. We try to please people and also we please people and live under the law and the principle of reciprocity. That if I give this, it's going to be given back to me. There is an important distinction between this because healthy people understand that every yes automatically creates a no. That's good. Healthy people understand that every yes I say out of my mouth automatically creates a no. Let me explain it just to give you a little more clarity. Because when I say yes to something unnecessary, you start saying no to something else. So when I say yes to something that's unnecessary, that I feel like I got to please a person, I feel like I got to... be this and be that, I'm saying no to something else. I may be saying no to my needs, my family, my health, my peace, or simply the opportunity just to rest. And every unnecessary yes has a cost to it. And many of you, and we have been sacrificing our rest, relaxation, our our moment of Sabbath. We have sacrificed because we have always felt like we had to say yes. Make sure you're paying for the right things. Make sure that you are not giving in to everybody else's opinion and thoughts and trying to please people. Say yes to you. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no. And if people don't understand your no, they may not understand your journey. If people can understand that, hey, I just can't do it. It may be it may be the fact of they don't understand your journey. They don't understand your purpose. They don't they don't even understand you. Because if you love me enough and you care for me enough, what you're going to do. You're going to make sure I don't overexert myself. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to rest. You're going to tell me, hey, you need to relax. All right. Here goes the next one. You got to look at the power of protecting. The power of protecting. And many of us fail to operate in the power of protecting. We don't believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in protecting our purpose. We don't believe in really protecting ourselves. Because what you got to understand, think about it. Your smartphone, it has incredible capabilities. But when the battery gets low, what do you do? You plug it in, right? You don't criticize it for needing a charge. You don't trade your phone out because... You have to put it on the charger. Now, there are times when we let our battery go down so low, we work our battery. We work our battery that it lose its impact, its capabilities. So there are times when we have to trade our battery in. But just simply putting it on the charger, we don't judge it. We don't criticize it because it needs a charge. You don't call it weak. You understand that. power requires renewal. So, Doc, why do we expect then ourselves to operate differently? If we have to put our phone on the charge, why don't you think we have to put ourselves on the charge? Why do you think we don't have to protect our energy, protect our body, our health, our minds, our souls? Why do you think we don't have to protect that? Because I think people make you feel like protecting your energy is selfish. And it's not. People will make you feel like protecting your energy, protecting your well-being, protecting your mind, emotions. It's selfish. But it's responsibility. It's not selfish. It's responsibility. I respect me enough and I hold fast to my responsibility that I protect. I protect my time. I protect my sleep, my peace, my relationship. and even my mental health. Not because you're trying to avoid life, but because you want to show up fully when life needs you. And you ought not to be running on fumes. Quit running on fumes. Quit. Get you some rest. Relax. Quit. Hey, you can't make it. You can't make it. There's some things you just can't make it to. And I had to realize that about life. There's some things I just can't show up for. There's some things my body just won't let me do. There are some times when, hey, people know, hey, I can call him. He's going to be there. Yes. And it all depends on the circumstance. There's some things I just can't make. So you have to understand. You got to set the key thing is how do I protect myself? is boundaries. I have to build boundaries. They are filters. They help you decide what deserves access to your time and your attention. And everybody don't deserve it, right? Everybody don't deserve it. Everybody don't deserve your time, your energy. So take some time. Take some time. Well, I got to do, guess what? It's going to be there. And even if you're working on your job, this is what I discovered. If something happened to you, guess what? They may come up with a card, a plaque, maybe. But guess what? And within the next week or so, they're going to have your job posted for somebody else to be doing it. Don't overexert yourself trying to please people. Protect yourself. I don't understand. I don't understand how people got 800, 900 hours of sick leave. Man, you better use that time. Well, I understand you never know what may happen. I clearly understand that. But you have the time. You need to use that time and take some mental days. Take some time away from it. Because you give, give, give yourself to that job. You give, give, give yourself to that relationship, to your friendship, to whatever. You got to take some time away, right? But then you got to practice the practice of pausing. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is learning to stop. That's good. Growth isn't only about doing more. Sometimes growth is about stop. learning to stop. Pause before committing. Pause before you react. Pause before saying yes. Pause before taking another responsibility. The small pause creates space for wisdom. The most intentional people don't simply manage their schedules. They manage their energy. And this begins with you making room to breathe. Pause. When is the last time you've taken time to pause? When is the last time you just paused? I leave you with this last growth gem. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Strength isn't carrying everything. Strength is knowing what belongs on your shoulders and having the courage to set the rest down. Here goes your challenge for this week. Write that down and think about it and live it this week. Here's your challenge. Take 15 minutes of quiet minutes this week. Take 15 quiet minutes this week. Draw three columns on a sheet of paper. And the first column, what am I carrying? The second column, what exactly belongs to me? And then the third column, what I need to release. And be honest with yourself. Awareness is often the first step towards meaningful change. And you'll be surprised that a lot of us have more in what I'm carrying than we have what actually belongs to me. And I want to tell you, the first column and the third column are going to have way more than the center column. Actually, what belongs to me. And a lot of times we're carrying people burdens. We're carrying people hurt. We're carrying people's. I mean, we're carrying so much of others. And you'd be surprised how much actually of this belongs to me. Not much of it. And you're having heart attacks, headaches, anxiety because you're carrying somebody else's weight. I want to challenge you. to release what is not yours. All right. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. And if today's episode and conversation added value to your life, I would love for you to share it with someone who has a habit of carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. And if this episode spoke to you, subscribe so you'll never miss another conversation we have. Growth isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming the healthiest, the strongest, and the most authentic version of yourself. I'm your host, Chris Briggs, and this has been another episode of the Growth Gym Podcast. Thank you.
Welcome to the Growth Gyms Podcast. I'm so grateful to have you here with us today. I truly hope that you've enjoyed and learned something valuable from today's episode. Our goal is to provide you with the insights and inspiration you need to supercharge your growth journey, whether it's in your personal or professional life. As you know, growth is a never-ending adventure. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. But it's those very challenges that help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. So no matter where you are in your growth journey, keep pushing forward, keep learning, and keep growing. If you haven't already, please hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on future episodes. We have some amazing topics lined up. that I know you won't want to miss. Also, follow us on social media. Facebook, Chris Briggs. Twitter at cabriggsSR. Instagram at cabriggsSR. Thank you for tuning in today. And I can't wait to see you again on our next episode of the Growth Gems Podcast.
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