Description

Get ready to stand on your desks, O cuties my cuties, as Josie entreats her listeners to seize their destiny! They face difficult odds: crushworthy coworkers, extra-sensory self-doubt, even a 40-year coma...but you can't keep a good lonely heart down. Maybe their courage will spur our own Josie into making a move of her own?

Josie's Lonely Hearts Club was created by Maximilian Clark and Rachel Music. Our callers this week included the talents of Cali Daby, Brendan "S.B." Sokler, Laura Holliday, Michael Mau and Sarah Allyn (<3). Our story editor is Aliza Brugger. Executive Produced by the Good Story Guild. Follow those weirdoes @goodstoryguild and check out their first limited series, DIVORCE RANCH, anywhere you get your podcasts.

Want to ask Josie something? Send a voice memo to audio@goodstoryguild.co and she might just air it in season three!

Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Well, salutations, Frankie. Oh, how have I never called you Frankie?

• Speaker #1

  Because I don't have a leather jacket and pinky ring?

• Speaker #0

  You should invest in them. I think you could pull it off. I mean, honestly, I think Frank is an old man's name. Like, my father's name is Frank. Please, call me Frankie.

• Speaker #1

  My father's name is Claudius.

• Speaker #0

  bodies? And then he went and saddled you with

• Speaker #1

  Frank? All right, Joanne. I'll have you know that it's actually short for frankly none of your business. Speaking of none of your business, how's Alex? You guys meet up yet?

• Speaker #0

  She hasn't been around.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, no. She's giving you the brush off?

• Speaker #0

  No, because we're talking on the phone every other day.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, hey, okay. There you go. But you're making plans?

• Speaker #0

  We're making plans to make some plans. We're just getting to know each other a little better and establishing a relationship.

• Speaker #1

  poor we're bonding bonding okay all right that i respect so uh where's she from i you know i don't know did you tell her where you're from tell me about the rv the library no fantastic bonding holtzinger call me some slack these things take time and they take baby steps and i'm working my way up to it but she's

• Speaker #0

  still calling me and i'm still calling her and i just can't stop thinking about it all right well stop thinking and start doing huh you know it's funny you should say that because i've been working all this week and uh i want to bring it and synthesize it into the theme for tonight.

• Speaker #1

  Ooh, you're going to be talking about dopey daydreaming?

• Speaker #0

  Uh, no. It's more visualizing an attack.

• Speaker #1

  I love it. And you're an expert on half of that. Anyways, I'm going to tease you about it later because you know what, kitten? We got a show to do. So get those claws out. Five, four, three, two,

• Speaker #0

  one. Good night, cuties. Welcome to Josie's Lonely Hearts Club. I'm your host, Josie Heller. Let's spend the night together. Sweet mercy, there is something magical in the air tonight. Now I might be landlocked, but our ship is coming in. I can feel it. Call it a hunch, call it a premonition, call it heartburn, see if I care. Now I want to say this next part to you. Yes, you. Don't look behind you. I'm talking to you. That's right. Hey, now you're with me. Think of that thing you want. Go on. Now you've got it. That thing. You're going to get it. Carpe that diem. Manifest that destiny. Why settle for being a hot mama when you can climb every mountain and be mother superior? Now I've got it on pretty good authority that Providence has a few spots left on her dance card. So strap on a cummerbund and fluff those carnations. Say, I've got my boot in here, so get your booty in here. You set down your punch and stride across that dance floor, and when that slow song hits, well, you look Providence right in her big brown eyes, and you lean in and you seal the deal. If you need a little encouragement, you know who to call. It's 505-555-KDNM. Now where's that pioneer spirit? Get along, little doggies. Frank, who's hitching up their wagon first?

• Speaker #1

  All right, Josie. Coming up first, we have Paige calling in from Truth or Consequences.

• Speaker #0

  Paige from Tier C. How's it going? Hi,

• Speaker #2

  Josie. It's so cool to be talking to you.

• Speaker #0

  Good to have you on the show. Now, what can I help you manifest tonight?

• Speaker #2

  Well, it's funny you say that. I've actually dreamed about talking to you. So it's sort of this like full circle thing. My dreams have gotten like more and more like lucid dreaming, if you've ever heard of that.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, I have.

• Speaker #2

  A gift or a curse, I guess, is sort of the whole question. But sorry, right now I'm having this like almost full body experience because I dreamed about talking to you. And now here I am. The other dream recently, like I was dreaming that I was at this a fancy restaurant. Very, you know, I've never been there before. And when I was I was talking to someone and then I looked down and I was covered in like like red paint. And then like two days later, I was out to dinner with my best friend and the waiter spilled wine on me. And that was the first time that I was like, oh, my God.

• Speaker #0

  And I said, it's really spooky.

• Speaker #2

  Thank you. Exactly. Like I said, it's like this exciting, cool thing. But then I sort of have to stop and be like, oh, my gosh, do I have a gift?

• Speaker #0

  The fact is you are making it happen because, look, you dreamed about talking to me and here you are. You're talking to me.

• Speaker #2

  So that really means a lot. Thank you.

• Speaker #0

  So you mentioned that it might be a blessing or a curse. What have you been?

• Speaker #2

  I guess I'm just sort of spending a lot of energy then when I have a dream trying to think about what is going to be the true part. The other day I had a dream and I was like in my elementary school classroom, but I was a grown up. And then I, you know, the dream happened. And then a couple of days later, I saw my fourth grade teacher at the grocery store. And so it was like, oh, that's where. you know, it's connecting that way. But maybe my dream is that I have to like, go back to school, or maybe that the thing that's coming true is that I should actually like go get my master's like, how am I supposed to know which part is the true part?

• Speaker #0

  That might be a little bit. frustrating. So how are you adjusting it? It feels like you have to, there's a lot of intuition at play here.

• Speaker #2

  Well, like, you know, that, that dream that you have, you know, everybody has where like all your teeth fell out. It's something that happens to a lot of people, but like, I have been to the dentist every day this week and, you know, they're checking and they're doing x-rays and they're telling me it's fine, but like I've had the dream. So I'm just. pretty sure that it's about to happen now.

• Speaker #0

  Does it feel different, say, one of these lucid dreams that comes true versus a garden variety, you know, little hongshu dream?

• Speaker #2

  I mean, not really. I feel like if I remember it, then it's, like, stuck into my subconscious until it pays off.

• Speaker #0

  You are in the first act of every sort of creature discovering their power. I feel like these are growing pains. You know, you're gonna start to... figure it out and they'll feel different. But in the meantime, I say don't rush it. Everyone has the teeth falling out dream. Show up to school, don't have underpants, walk out of your house and suddenly you're nine months pregnant and your shoes are on fire.

• Speaker #2

  Speaking of, that's exactly another one that I've been having. And I'm on multiple forms of birth control right now because I'm really trying to avoid... Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Do you have a support system, somebody who can talk you through these dreams?

• Speaker #2

  I've been telling pretty much everybody I know about them. I feel like it's my duty. I had a dream the other day where I was falling down the stairs and then all of a sudden I could fly. And so I woke up the next day and I just stood at the top of my stairs. Do I jump? Do I fall?

• Speaker #0

  In good conscience, I can't advocate you slinging yourself down a flight of stairs, Paige. I think in the spirit of, you know, making your life what you want it to be, let these dreams inspire you. Don't be running circles around them trying to reverse engineer something. And don't let them be a source of terror and anxiety for you. Let them inspire the life that you know that you can make now.

• Speaker #2

  Thanks, Josie. I try to take that in. I'm gonna, I'm drinking some tea right now just to try to.

• Speaker #0

  Oh. Oh my God. Oh, what happened?

• Speaker #2

  Oh my God, I just chipped my tooth.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, oh no. Oh my God,

• Speaker #2

  I'm gonna, I have to go right now.

• Speaker #0

  Okay.

• Speaker #2

  Thank you.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, okay, bye, gosh, bye. Oh no. Oh, Frank.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, I don't think there's any way anyone could have seen that coming.

• Speaker #0

  Gosh, all our best to Paige from KDNM. Hope that's a speedy recovery and that you didn't use up your dental deductible. Frank, have we got any other dreamers on the line?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, our next dream girl is Delilah calling in from Los Chaves.

• Speaker #0

  Delilah from Los Chaves. Welcome to the show.

• Speaker #3

  Hi, thank you, Josie. It's very, very cool to be talking to you. Um, so I'm calling in because I have developed... feelings for my co-worker at Petco, Alvin. We've been working together for a few months. He's given me some signs that make me think he's interested. Like he volunteers to do the tasks that I really hate, like mopping up dog pee. And he lets me do the tasks I like, like holding funerals for the betta fish that die. But in the past, I've been wrong when I thought somebody liked me back. and I've like confessed my love for them and they've been like I don't even really know who you are or like why are you at my daughter's bat mitzvah and like it's just not gone well so this time I really just want to like take control of the situation my better help therapist told me that I need to just be okay with vulnerability. But then I was on TikTok and Astral Witch posted this thing about how they got their ex back by using spells and potions. And so like, I'm not doing anything too weird or intense, I promise. I've just been like casually doing a pink candle spell each night for the past 20 nights. And I've been adding some sage and rose quartz to his sprite at lunch. And I think it's working because I think he's like holding eye contact with me more. And I just wanted to know, like, do you see other relationships that have started with witchcraft like lasting?

• Speaker #0

  Ah, well, first off, you got it. Wow. Delilah, I applaud your gumption and your can do attitude. I love somebody being proactive in the ways of love. Delilah, I do want to run something up the flagpole. And it's that don't put. rocks in Alvin's sprite. He could choke on those, and then your love would be over before it even began. When it comes down to manifesting and visualizing the future that you want, the only thing you can change really when you get down to it is yourself. I think that you might be ready to take this into the material plane and tell him how you feel. He's mopping up all that dog wee for you.

• Speaker #3

  But just, I'm 32 and I've never had a real relationship. Every time I ever confess my love to someone, they're like, no thanks, not interested. So, like, I have to change what they think.

• Speaker #0

  What I'm hearing is that you're trying to change the course of destiny because you've been hurt before.

• Speaker #3

  How do you feel about voodoo, though? That was my other idea.

• Speaker #0

  Well, uh, I don't know a whole lot about voodoo. But based off of what you've said, this is someone you want to be in a relationship, right? You don't want a puppet, do you? You want a fully-fledged human being who has thoughts?

• Speaker #3

  Fully-fledged human thing hasn't been great before, so...

• Speaker #0

  Just because you're 32 and haven't had a relationship yet doesn't mean it's an impossibility for you. If you just...

• Speaker #3

  believe i bought this witchcraft set that i saw advertised on tiktok because it guaranteed that i would find love i've bought cinnamon bark i've bought um rose quartz i've bought dragon tongue whatever that is i've got a bundle of sticks on the floor like i'm ready to go I have a shrine to him in my closet, and Astral Witch 75 says that if I bow down to it and say a chant, then he will come to my doorstep and propose.

• Speaker #0

  Have you- I just considered asking, though. You just need to talk to the guy. I think you just have to say, Wait, let's throw caution to the wind. You don't have to know everything. You don't have to... You can just embrace the adventure.

• Speaker #3

  I don't know if you fully, like, got what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to control his mind so I know what he's gonna say.

• Speaker #0

  I hear your lonely heart calling out to me. Now, why would you want to control your partner? Don't you want a boyfriend? Don't you want a partner? Someone to stand with you and support you?

• Speaker #3

  Or like a love puppet.

• Speaker #0

  I think that all you need to do is shift not so much your energy, but your attitude. Believe in yourself. That's what you want, right?

• Speaker #3

  I want to know for sure that he is going to confess his love to me.

• Speaker #0

  You could just make it happen yourself, not with a...

• Speaker #3

  I am making it happen myself, with witchcraft.

• Speaker #0

  This isn't about pauldrons and black cats. This is Alvin we're talking about. He mops up dog pee for you. Because you want a love puppet. You want to feel... confident. You want to feel like-No,

• Speaker #3

  I'm telling you I want a love puppet!

• Speaker #0

  And you just want to feel like you're enough. And I'm going to tell you that you're enough and you don't need cinnamon bark and smoke signals for you to feel that. It sounds like you're sitting in a closet and erecting a fire hazard. Talk to him in the break room. Ask him for a beer.

• Speaker #3

  You were going to tell me that I was doing a good job by taking control of my fate and not just like sitting around for life to happen. I'm actually like pretty upset.

• Speaker #0

  I don't want you to be upset, Delilah, because you are doing that. I am proud of you for wanting to make a change. And all I'm saying is that maybe it doesn't need to be something you have to spend money on. Look,

• Speaker #3

  I really like your show, but I feel like this has been, like, not that helpful. And Witch Talk has a lot better information for me, so...

• Speaker #0

  Hey, you know, I can't win them all. Delilah, I really hope it works out.

• Speaker #4

  I'm putting a curse on you.

• Speaker #0

  Oh!

• Speaker #3

  I'm putting a curse on you.

• Speaker #0

  Gosh, um, that seems unnecessary, but is that how it's done? You just say it?

• Speaker #3

  Um, that's one of the ways that it's done, yeah. But I also have several candles lit.

• Speaker #0

  Uh, thanks, Delilah. Good luck with Alvin. Well, we've had a first for the show, cuties. I have been cursed. Unfortunately, we also have to deal with another curse around here, and that's our underwriter, so... Just sit tight. We'll be back after these messages.

• Speaker #1

  Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Sorry, Jo, I don't mess with exes.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, well, how superstitious of you, Frankie.

• Speaker #1

  Well, how cavalier for Miss Go-Co-Create-Your-Reality.

• Speaker #0

  I was talking about mindset, like change starts from within kind of stuff, but magic, voodoo, geez, it's all hooey. I can't believe you.

• Speaker #1

  No, hey, Jo, Jo, I'm serious. Don't mess with this stuff. Look, I should know. I used to date one of those wicker girls.

• Speaker #0

  I think you mean a Wiccan girl.

• Speaker #1

  No, no. She was just into weaving. But after the breakup, one of her friends put a curse on me, and I swear to God, it ruined an entire year of my life.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, well, you know the placebo effect works. Even if you know you're taking a placebo, and even if you know the placebo effect is a thing.

• Speaker #1

  Okay, so, you know, hexes aren't real. All right.

• Speaker #0

  Hexes aren't real.

• Speaker #1

  Want to bet?

• Speaker #0

  Ooh, a gentlewoman's wager? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll bite. If Delilah put a real hex on me, I'll owe you a coke.

• Speaker #1

  It's a hex, not a jinx, Joanne. Ten bucks.

• Speaker #0

  Ten bucks? What am I, made of money?

• Speaker #1

  Hey, well you only lose it if that lady put a magic curse on you.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, right. Well then sure, ten bucks. No coke. Fine.

• Speaker #1

  But clean it up out there. We're back in five.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, man, I don't want to go anywhere. Welcome back to Josie's Lonely Hearts Club. I'm your host, Josie Heller. We're talking today about the manifestation of one's destiny. We are going to the lines and getting some accounts from you, my dears, about how we are finally seizing the day and taking control of the life that we want. Frank, we got anybody on deck?

• Speaker #1

  Coming up next, we have Irving calling in from Lovington.

• Speaker #0

  Irving from Lovington, welcome to the show.

• Speaker #4

  Hello?

• Speaker #0

  Hi.

• Speaker #4

  Hello? Hey,

• Speaker #0

  how's it going?

• Speaker #4

  It's good. I'm Irving. Josie, I do really love your show. I've been listening to it for the past two weeks. I have some questions for you that I'm hoping you can answer. But I think I need to give a bit of a preamble, or as my wife Ruth calls it, a pre-ramble. Okay, so... A preface, we have not been intimate in a while, but not for the reasons that you might think. The year is 1982. We're both in our early 40s, and we are quite adventurous. We have been nicknamed even the sexual chameleons because of how much we adapt, as it were. Now... We are having relations and I had bought a very large television and back in that day they weighed quite a bit. Unfortunately, the banging of the headboard and some logistical things had the television fall on us both. And we were in a coma up until about two weeks ago. Anyway, what I would like to know is, we want to get back to our old ways. What's new in the sex?

• Speaker #0

  Well, uh, if my math is correct, we've got 42 years to catch you up on. Irving, I gotta ask, have there been any- Physical repercussions of being in a coma for 42 years? What are we working with?

• Speaker #4

  I got the all clear from the doctor and I did a little bit of research and I went to the sex shop and I bought a lot of things. But I'd like to have a little authority before bringing it up with Ruth.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, of course.

• Speaker #4

  I got these beads. I think it's a necklace. How does one wear this?

• Speaker #0

  Uh, those beads aren't meant to be worn around the neck. They're meant to go into the anus of your lover.

• Speaker #4

  Really? So these go in the tuchus?

• Speaker #0

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• Speaker #4

  Whoa, but on the instructions it says these go right in the bussy. What is a bussy?

• Speaker #0

  A portmanteau of butt and another word I can't say on the air.

• Speaker #4

  Josie, talk to me about BDXM. Is it just listening to radio in bed? I assume that's what the BD is for.

• Speaker #0

  Well, BDSM, I think, might be what folks are... talking about, and that stands for bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism, which I... Oh,

• Speaker #4

  yeah, we called it Whippy Chaney Spanky Time.

• Speaker #0

  You don't need a fancy little acronym. You've already got it. Whippy Chaney Spanky Time.

• Speaker #4

  This is very inspiring for my confidence, Josie. I really appreciate you doing this. Irving,

• Speaker #2

  did you find out if the little Christmas trees are for you or for me?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, that's another Tookus toy for you.

• Speaker #4

  Found out what bussy means. Oh, p***. It's a good thing. It's the tuchus. Tucho? Yeah, it's a pinot noir of two words. Butt and a pussy. Now, Josie, there is something here. It's a vibrator and it has a UCB plug. What is a UCB plug?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, well, that's a way we charge things now.

• Speaker #4

  This looks so much less like a curling iron. probably leads to a lot less accidents. Ruth, Ruth, while I have her on the phone, did you have anything you wanted to ask the nice lady about?

• Speaker #2

  I want to know if she has any good recommendations for someone who can mount our new TV.

• Speaker #4

  Mount our new TV? We're talking about each other.

• Speaker #2

  Same on you, Irving. Oh,

• Speaker #4

  I'm incorrigible. Uh, final question for you, uh, Josie. Um... I can't make tops or tails of this, but they gave me a flashlight. and it does not appear to be as illuminating as you have been on this call. What does one do for this? Do I point it at her privates to see them better? What is the deal here?

• Speaker #0

  That I hope you never need to use, Irving,

• Speaker #4

  because you've- It's squishy on the inside. Where's the bulb?

• Speaker #0

  You've got the bulb, my friend, if I can be a little crass. God, you've inspired me tonight. I love you too. Irving, Ruth, my God, go forth into this bright future.

• Speaker #4

  Whippy Chaney Spanky Time will be much more enlightened thanks to you. Okay, I'm going to put you on hold. Ruth, you look phenomenal.

• Speaker #0

  Well... I gotta find out what else we've got in store tonight. Frank, who we got coming up next?

• Speaker #1

  Coming up next, we have Xander calling in from Edgewood.

• Speaker #0

  Xander, welcome to the show.

• Speaker #5

  Uh, yeah, I'm a little nervous here. So, if you could just let me get through this, and then you can talk, so, um... Yeah, so I'm a confirmed bachelor, Josie. Live by myself, as all grown men should. And I can seize myself whenever I want, any room I want, as many times as I want, which until recently had been a lot, I must admit. Two weeks ago, Josie, my ma came to live with me while she's having bunion surgery, and it forced me to be abstinent. You know, she's always there. You know, she's always talking. Even in her sleep, she's talking. And I haven't been able to go on any master dates with my VR girlfriends. And there's been a buildup, Josie. A big buildup. And I can hear them calling to me. Oh, Xander. Xander. You know, it's gotten so bad. Just the sensual sounds of a woman sneezing makes it really hard not to get... really hard. I had to change Siri from a woman to a man, and even then, oh gosh. I don't know, Josie. I feel like I should just plug my ears like Odysseus with the sirens, but I just, it's a mess, and I feel like I'm gonna explode. Oh, just help me, Josie. You're my only hope.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, well, thank you for calling in. I, I, I, I... Oh, I, I, oh. Oh,

• Speaker #5

  jeez, I gotta go.

• Speaker #0

  oh well um happy happy to be of service i guess okay well that was andrew well frank another first for the show i think oh boy what a mess coming up next we have our favorite frequent flyer it's alex from albuquerque oh alex from albuquerque welcome back you

• Speaker #6

  Oh my god, Josie, my favorite cutie. Hello, darling. Good night. I just had to call because I am witnessing firsthand right now the most adorable couple. They are so cute. I mean, we're talking about door-holding, hat-in-hand, arm-in-arm, walking down the aisle. Oh, I can just see it now, one of these days, them saying they're nuptials, surrounded by chosen family, surviving friends. They're really getting up there. And flowers. I mean, man, it just... it'd be prettier than a peacock wedding.

• Speaker #0

  I don't doubt it. Gosh, where are you that you get to feast your eyes on such splendor?

• Speaker #6

  Just a, you know, roadside 24-hour diner. But man, they're sitting across from each other. And, you know, despite the silver hair, they're just leaning in and giggling over God knows what. They're schoolgirls at a sleepover. By the way, breakfast for dinner or no? I feel like that says more about a person than pineapple on pizza. Although not as much as a person who puts broccoli on pizza.

• Speaker #0

  Breakfast for dinner. I'm very pro breakfast for dinner. Oh,

• Speaker #6

  it's getting serious. Oh, the booth has been crossed. They placed their orders and now the moves are really coming down. Ah, they're on the same side, shoulder to shoulder. Josie, I wish you could see this. It is so sweet.

• Speaker #0

  I wish I could see it too. Are they the laminated type of menus or are they paper menus?

• Speaker #6

  Oh, laminated, of course. There's too much grease in this diner for anything less. Oh, classic. Move an arm is now around her shoulders. A yawn, a lean, a stretch. Oh, they must be whispering sweet.

• Speaker #3

  Oh,

• Speaker #6

  she blushed. Maybe some sexy somethings in her ear. So that breakfast for dinner, you like pancakes?

• Speaker #0

  A born French toast girl.

• Speaker #6

  Good to know.

• Speaker #0

  But that much sugar at night, you know, keep me wired. Unless I have a reason to stay up.

• Speaker #6

  I can think of a few. Ah, they're going for the cherry on top first. I love their style, this couple. Oof.

• Speaker #0

  Oh my god.

• Speaker #6

  A finger in the whipped cream. Josie. Wow. That was a treat. Talking about sweet.

• Speaker #0

  Aye, aye, aye, aye.

• Speaker #1

  Hey Josie, not to be a wet blanket, but I don't think this is really on theme.

• Speaker #6

  I don't know. I mean, they seem to be visualizing and attacking all at once.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, my goodness.

• Speaker #6

  Good for them. You know what? Tonight, Josie has just been.

• Speaker #0

  perfect i'm i'm really glad i got to share this with you perhaps uh french toast will be next you know we we uh uh fan perdue for you and me yes sorry i don't know why i said that that's very giddy we do should get back to the show uh should

• Speaker #1

  uh so i uh but i can't you know i'm so sorry guess uh uh sprocket on pizza fans could just go walk off a bridge that's fine

• Speaker #0

  There really is no accounting for taste. Which explains why you're my engineer. Ha ha!

• Speaker #1

  Well, I'd hate to desert you, but it is the end of the show.

• Speaker #0

  Well, cuties, what a show we've had tonight. I hope that as we drift off to sleep tonight, you all remember... that the power is with us. We are amazing. And I'd be nothing without you. This little club has been such a source of joy. And I hope we continue to help shift each other's lives and bring about our own destinies. that's enough out of me night night cuties but keep your hot little hands off that dial because as frank knows we've got a great show coming right up here next on kdnm it is called stargazing with

• Speaker #1

  the gaze stargazing with the gaze for all of you amateur astronomers out there, join Queleg Myers as he takes you on a homosexual journey to nebulas and galaxies far beyond our sight. He powers up the strongest telescope in New Mexico and guides you on an astronomical journey between Sirius and Rigel and Polaris. And let me tell you, If you are young and queer and questioning, let him be your North Star, as he also takes calls on questions about your own sexuality or what's going on in the Andronomia system. Stargazing with the Gays, coming up next on KDNM. Woo! That's some great visualization there, Joe.

• Speaker #0

  See? I imagined this would happen. And she called. Somebody up there likes me.

• Speaker #1

  Sounds like somebody out there likes you.

• Speaker #0

  See, no hex can stop this, Holtzinger. This was all me. No chicken heads, no bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, just garden variety hope.

• Speaker #1

  Okay, okay, okay. Hey, cheers, kid.

• Speaker #0

  Cheers, Frankie. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

• Speaker #1

  What happened?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, oh, oh God. Oh, oh no.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, geez. God, what happened in there? I chipped my tooth. You okay? What?

• Speaker #0

  I chipped my tooth on my mu- Where did the little piece go? Oh no, I'm gonna have to go to the dentist. Is that... Is that how I sound? Oh, I sound like an idiot.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, not more than usual.

• Speaker #0

  Not now! I chipped my tongue!

• Speaker #1

  Okay, okay, okay. Don't worry. But you know what's even worse? What? You owe me ten bucks.

• Speaker #0

  Do we still have Delilah's number?

• Speaker #1

  Mm-hmm. I'll even give it to you if you admit I'm right.

• Speaker #0

  Pass.

• Speaker #1

  Fine. Do the credits.

• Speaker #0

  Like this? Seriously?

• Speaker #1

  We'll co-create them. Josie's Lonely Hearts Club was created by Maximilian Clark and Rachel Musick.

• Speaker #0

  Our callers this week included the talents of Michael Mao, Laura Holliday, Brendan Sokler, Sarah Allyn, and Callie Dabby.

• Speaker #1

  This episode was edited by Aliza Brugger. Josie's Lonely Hearts Club is brought to you by the Good Story Guild. Follow those weirdos at Good Story Guild or join their Discord.

• Speaker #0

  If you enjoyed the show...

• Speaker #1

  cleave without it from the rooftop preferably somewhere someone can see you or hear you and don't forget cuties if you have a romantic story of your own that you want to share with the class submit them via the email address in the show notes and come season 3 you might have Josie's take on your own personal life if that's something you want you got it

• Speaker #0

  Now give me that number.

• Speaker #1

  Thanks, Joe. With this ten, I can get two cokes. I'll pour one out for your tooth, homie.

• Speaker #0

  Hi, Delilah. Um, hi, this is Joe the Heller. Uh, I need you to call off that hex. Pretty please.