Description

Season Two finale. You better listen all the way to the end on this one, cuties.

After a heaping helping of heartache, resident tough cookie Josie gives us a peak of that gooey, nougaty center. Joanne drops a few truths of her own. Along the way, we encounter a crooner in khakis (and a time loop), comfort a gal in love with a slob, and try to piece together a very, very dysfunctional proposal. If time allows, we might even hear from a return caller...

Our callers included the talents of Shane Salk, Matt Mundy, Danielle Cohn and Carla Lerner Montero. Josie’s Lonely Hearts Club was created by Maximilian Clark and Rachel Music. Our story editor is Aliza Brugger. This podcast is brought to you by the Good Story Guild. Keep track of us at goodstoryguild.co and mark your calendars for July 3rd when we come hurtling back for Season Three!

if you have ever wanted Josie to solve a quandary of the heart from YOUR life, just record her a voice memo and send that lil' beauty on over to audio@goodstoryguild.co - Josie might just read it on air in Season Three.

Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Status report, two weeks in. Still sucks.

• Speaker #1

  Hey, we're still here. And maybe it sucks a little less?

• Speaker #0

  Maybe it sucks a little less.

• Speaker #1

  That's something, huh? Day by day.

• Speaker #0

  Day by day. Um, say, I don't want to be strangers.

• Speaker #1

  Good. Me either. I'm Frank.

• Speaker #0

  Hi, I'm Joanne. That's a good start. You can ask me three questions. Any three questions, whatever it is you want to know about Joanne. Whoa.

• Speaker #1

  Okay. This is big. Well, let's get the obvious out of the way. Tell me your big, mysterious backstory.

• Speaker #0

  I'm sorry. It must be phrased as a question.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, I'm sorry. Will you tell me your whole mysterious backstory?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, cool. Cool. No. What was your second question?

• Speaker #1

  Joanne, you fart.

• Speaker #0

  That's a lot. That's a big ask. It's like wishing for more wishes.

• Speaker #1

  Okay, fine. Guess I'll draft some up. I mean, I'll get your music ready.

• Speaker #0

  Um, hey, do you think they'll forgive me?

• Speaker #1

  Who, Alex?

• Speaker #0

  Nah, I mean, that ship has sailed. I mean...

• Speaker #1

  Those weirdos? They'll come around. They love you.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, that's good to know.

• Speaker #1

  Get ready.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, yeah, of course. Born ready. I was born ready. Good night, cuties, and welcome to Josie's Lonely Hearts Club. I'm your host, Josie Heller. Let's spend the night together. You like golf? I've never really understood the appeal. It feels like sullying a perfectly good nature walk with go-karts and constant reminders to square off. If I want to get fresh air, I'll take a botanical garden any day. One thing the golfers get right, though? The mulligan. The do-over. The second chance. An opportunity to make things right. Last week, I don't know what came over me, but I came in teed off. My cup ranneth over with big feelings, and I let it spill out onto the airwaves. I was temporarily lost in the wilderness of regret. gnawing on reeds and sucking bugs off sticks when I could have been phoning a friend. But I was unreachable, solitary as an oyster, a Valentine's Scrooge if ever there was one. You felt like that before, I'm sure. Why else would we be here, communing like we do, week after week? I'm officially calling in my mulligan cuties. We're none of us perfect, but I should have known better. There was much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, but worst of all, I tried to bring you down with me. That, that would have been unforgivable. So let's set back to one, freshen our lip gloss, and square off my hips. Take two. This time with feelings. Give me a jingle at 505-555-KDNM and try swinging again with me. Frank, who's our first second chancer?

• Speaker #1

  All right, teeing off is Davis calling in from Roswell.

• Speaker #0

  Davis from Roswell, welcome to the show.

• Speaker #2

  Hi, Josie. I just need some help. I'm kind of caught in a rut. I need to unstuck.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, all right. Well, tell me more about it.

• Speaker #2

  Well, it's kind of a nightmare. I'm exhausted. Every day is the same, and I can't make it stop. Seen that movie, Groundhog Day?

• Speaker #0

  I have.

• Speaker #2

  It's kind of like that, but I'm not learning the piano or anything. Now it's just kinda caught up in getting up, brushing my teeth, showering, singing, getting on my khakis, putting my flip phone in my pocket, make a coffee, you know, that kind of thing. I remember kinda what my life was like before it, but being a- I'm sorry,

• Speaker #0

  before. You remember what your life was before. So what happened?

• Speaker #2

  There's a karaoke bar nearby I used to go. sit quietly. You know, I like to keep to myself. You know, one night I said, what the heck? I'mma sing. So I got up there and I was going. I was feeling pretty good. And then, like, the lyrics disappeared. And I mean, I was up there alone with the spotlight on me and the tracks going and I got nothing coming out my mouth and I just, I bolted for the door and I've never been back. Oh, hon.

• Speaker #0

  That sounds like a, like an awful thing. You work up the courage, you pluck up the nerve to get up there and sing your heart out, and then you get- Stuck, frozen. Ever since then, you've just- Pure hell.

• Speaker #2

  It's been the same day. Same groundhog damn day every day. Gettin'up, brushin'my teeth, showerin'. Singing, getting on my khakis, put my flip phone in my pocket, make a coffee.

• Speaker #0

  They do something like this in certain types of therapy, where you know, you go back to the thing that distresses you. Instead of being frozen in inaction, you fix it. You rewrite that history. So it's like that song is still living in your body and it wants to come out. And I feel like once you get over that hump...

• Speaker #2

  Yeah, and see, that's the thing is I feel like I'm going to do it every night. And then I wake up next day and I hadn't done it. You know, I get up and I brush my teeth, shower, I sing in there. I put on my khakis and put my flip phone in my pocket, make a cup of coffee. I work a few hours. I work at home being a data annotator. I annotate data. and then I go for a mid-afternoon drive because it's healthy and get some gas. Then I pick up a little mac and cheese, and I go past that karaoke bar, and that's what you're talking about, and I see it. I go home, I make dinner, and I wipe off the front door with a napkin, put that napkin in my pocket, I watch Seinfeld, and then I call into this show. That's every day. And then the next day when I get up, that napkin's not there, but that never changes, and that's part of the hell. That is my day. Maybe it's not up to me. I need some divine intervention.

• Speaker #0

  You've built up this karaoke bar to be this villain, this, you know, antagonist in your life, and this source of regret.

• Speaker #2

  I feel like I've heard this before, you know, and I think that's part of the problem, is it?

• Speaker #0

  You extended this to mean that you also then, every day, call into the show and get this advice?

• Speaker #2

  That's right.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, well, so we are talking about some extended deja vu. And if I give you this advice every time, what if that's part of this time loop? We've got to buck the trend. We've got to, you know, pull on a thread of the web and knock the whole thing down. So you know what you could do right now is do a push-up.

• Speaker #2

  Yeah, I thought so. I mean, I would say I could do a sit-up, but then that's usually what I say.

• Speaker #0

  Nerds! I'm not thinking random enough. Go in that kitchen, take that mac and cheese, and you take a big old handful of it. Throw it at the door. What?

• Speaker #2

  off the doorknob the next morning.

• Speaker #0

  Then, uh, uh, scream something at a neighbor in a language you don't know.

• Speaker #2

  I usually pick Italian.

• Speaker #0

  Uh-huh. Finish. Try finish. Yell something at him and finish.

• Speaker #2

  Thank you for my calls at all, Josie.

• Speaker #0

  I cannot say that I do, so this is very, very befuddling.

• Speaker #2

  Josie, it's hell. It's just pure hell.

• Speaker #0

  Huh. Well, um...

• Speaker #2

  Getting up, brushing my teeth.

• Speaker #0

  All right, Davis, it sounds like most of what I can throw at you, you've already tried. But you know the one thing you haven't done? It's the root of all of it. You haven't sung that song. What song did you sing?

• Speaker #2

  Smack the Knife.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, what a great song.

• Speaker #2

  Now, this is not on script, so I don't know this part. It's not what I remember, Josie.

• Speaker #0

  Well, because you haven't sung the song, Davis. That's what's gonna break this. It's gonna bust the whole thing wide open.

• Speaker #2

  It helps. That's what got me here in the first place.

• Speaker #0

  Exactly. And that's the key to get you out of it. You sat in that karaoke bar, keeping to yourself, watching everybody get up there and have their moments. And you got cheated out of yours, so come on.

• Speaker #2

  Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth. Yeah. Dear. Oh, God. Come on, you can do it. And he shows them.

• Speaker #0

  Mm-hmm.

• Speaker #2

  A pearly white.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #2

  Just a jackknife. Yes. Has old Mac Heath baked.

• Speaker #0

  Mm-hmm.

• Speaker #2

  And he keeps them.

• Speaker #0

  Yes.

• Speaker #2

  Outside. Good job! It's only 7.30. I think they started at 8.30 or something. I could still make it tonight, couldn't I?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, you absolutely should. That's exactly what you're going to do.

• Speaker #2

  You know what? Tonight, I'm gonna order a craft beer. Just something wild, like one of them Shockey Tops.

• Speaker #0

  Whatever you-you are the master of your own destiny, Davis.

• Speaker #2

  Oh, here we go. Well, as they say in Finnish, Josie, only soci roki.

• Speaker #0

  I love the sound of that.

• Speaker #1

  Well, that was a big finish.

• Speaker #0

  Ah, it sure was.

• Speaker #1

  I've been hearing that we have another caller coming up. And this is Mallory calling in from Española.

• Speaker #0

  Mallory from Española. Welcome to the show.

• Speaker #3

  Hi, Josie. Thank you for taking my call.

• Speaker #0

  Of course.

• Speaker #3

  So, I'm calling because I also kind of feel like I'm stuck in a cycle, if you will. I've got this guy, let's call him Dave, and in so many ways, Dave is the best, right? But the same thing always happens. We get together and it's really good, well, it's good, and then we break up because it gets really bad, and then, you know, a couple weeks later, you start thinking, well, maybe it wasn't so bad, and you go back and you're... caught in the cycle again.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, yikes. Is it the same issue every time that preempts the breakup?

• Speaker #3

  There's basically just one problem. He's a slob. But I love him, Josie.

• Speaker #0

  Ugh. Oh, wow, what a, what a dilemma. Now, when you say, when you say mess, there's chaos and, and, and disorganization, and then there's squalor.

• Speaker #3

  It's beyond, Josie. It's not normal. I, I didn't think that one person could generate this much mess. I've never seen someone load a dishwasher in such a way that they break almost every dish and then not clean those fragments out of the dishwasher and just keep using it. It's insane. And he says, I'm a neat freak. And sometimes that's the problem, right? Again, I always tell myself, this is okay. I can handle this. and then, you know, you open one closet that has a cereal bowl in it that's full of green mold that looks at you and starts speaking words to you. But Josie, the real problem here is it, it's always good when you start, and then it gets so bad that I leave and I tell myself, it's just not worth it. I can't live like this. But then a couple weeks later, I'm just only thinking of the good things, you know?

• Speaker #0

  It sounds like, Mallory, we've got to get to the heart of this slob cycle. Take me through one full iteration of this cycle. You know, you break up, and how do you feel?

• Speaker #3

  Well, I feel sad, I feel heartbroken, and all I can think about is how gentle and sweet he is, and how I just want to see him, and spend every night with him, and, you know, wake up to him in the morning, and... And then, you know, I just can't keep myself away from my phone. And I, you know, I'm looking at all the social media, what he's doing. And finally, I just send him a text saying, I miss you so much.

• Speaker #0

  And then you miss him, you meet up, and you go, let's give it another shot. And then what happens?

• Speaker #3

  For a day or two, it's really nice. And then I see... one sock in the middle of the bathroom, and I just want to kill him.

• Speaker #0

  So you see the sock, call it quits, and so you feel...

• Speaker #3

  First I'm relieved, and then I'm instantly sad, and then I'm just trying to keep myself from thinking about him, and then he shows up at the door with just the biggest bouquet of roses I've ever seen, and I'm like, okay, okay, you're right, it's a sock. Why did I break up with you over a sock? And so we get back together and, you know, and then I go over to his place and then it starts again. And then as soon as he comes back into my life, things start going missing. I never have trouble finding the remote control or where I left my keys. And he's there for a week and I can't find anything. It's chaos. And I don't want to have to choose between being in love and being in chaos.

• Speaker #0

  Is there a way to put the hammer down on things that are... biohazard and say, but also acknowledge that maybe there are places where socks can live. One of you has got to give a little bit of ground.

• Speaker #3

  I hear what you're saying. I can't have him without having chaos. I have to end it. Oh! If I want socks to be in the drawer, I can't be in this relationship anymore. I'm gonna call him right now, and I'm gonna tell him we're done.

• Speaker #0

  I hate the idea of you giving up something that is this good, but listen, Mallory, Dave might not be the end-all and the be-all, and if you have no space in your life for that kind of chaos, then I wish you well. You gotta break the cycle somehow. You gotta tell him you can't do it anymore. You gotta quit him.

• Speaker #3

  I've gotta break the cycle. Thanks, Josie. I feel ready to break the cycle, and I feel ready to have my apartment back.

• Speaker #0

  All right, Mallory, you... Oh, wait. Oh, no.

• Speaker #3

  No, now I'm just thinking about the fact that if we never, you know, get together again, then I'm gonna call him. I'm gonna call him and unbreak up with him.

• Speaker #0

  No, no, no, no. Think of the oatmeal. Think of the oatmeal with the mold. No,

• Speaker #3

  I'm gonna call him,

• Speaker #0

  Josie. You're right. You're right. I love him. I'll always love him. Oh, well then, mazel tov. Well, well, Frank, some cycles take you for a spin.

• Speaker #1

  Well, Joe, speaking of off again, on again, that's exactly how I describe our show, because we have an ad break.

• Speaker #0

  Very well. Sit tight, cuties. We've got a couple of... Words from our sponsors coming at you.

• Speaker #1

  All right, Joe, we're out for 90. Ready for a little truth or dare, but you have to pick truth because it's question time.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, you got one picked. All right, cash it in.

• Speaker #1

  Joanne Holtsinger, where do you really hail from?

• Speaker #0

  Tennessee.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, thank you. That was so informative. I'm so glad that we're getting personal with our questions. Tennessee.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, okay. Friendsville, Tennessee. You happy?

• Speaker #1

  No, Friendsville.

• Speaker #0

  That's exactly what it's called. What? It's outside Knoxville, near Marysville. It's just a bunch of vills. I grew up there. I lived there until I came here. That is where I'm from. Hand to God. Happy?

• Speaker #1

  Okay, how about this? Are you now or have you ever been married? Yes. Oh, okay. And what was the nature of this marriage?

• Speaker #0

  Who are you, Joseph McCarthy?

• Speaker #1

  Wait, are you married right now?

• Speaker #0

  That sounds like a third question.

• Speaker #1

  Joanne, come on. I'm putting this out to the judges. Wait. These are not satisfying answers. Oh,

• Speaker #0

  Frank, Frank. Do you hear an ad playing?

• Speaker #1

  No, I don't hear an ad. Why? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Hey, you're not getting away with this, but you are on. No, no, no, no.

• Speaker #0

  Welcome back. We are talking Mulligans, do-overs, second chances, breaking the cycle, and starting afresh. Frank, we got anybody in the hopper?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, we have Joel calling in from Raton.

• Speaker #0

  Joel, welcome to the show.

• Speaker #4

  Hey, thank you so much, Josie. Gotta be honest with you, right off the bat, I've never heard your show. Cool. I assume this is like a no-judgment zone.

• Speaker #0

  You bet it is.

• Speaker #4

  So my lady and I, we got, you know, we had a few drinks, and all of a sudden we got into this really, really big fight. Like, I don't know why she got so upset. I proposed to her.

• Speaker #0

  Uh-oh.

• Speaker #4

  Which I thought was a very nice thing to do.

• Speaker #0

  Okay.

• Speaker #4

  She was like, why are you proposing when we're drinking? You know, this isn't romantic. Ah. People did things. Things were said. Let's just say she doesn't remember. I don't have to, like, fill her in on everything, right? Ugh.

• Speaker #0

  Your girlfriend, your non-fiancé, is a problem drinker, and that's a touchy thing.

• Speaker #4

  It's something we bond over.

• Speaker #0

  Thought. Do you want to marry this woman? I mean, yeah.

• Speaker #4

  Like, I proposed.

• Speaker #0

  Are you afraid that if you say, hey, babe, we had a fight, it was stupid, here's what the fight was about?

• Speaker #4

  Hypothetically, if this thing that happened was something that could upset someone to the point of calling off that said engagement, again,

• Speaker #0

  it's not a date.

• Speaker #4

  Okay. That's not who I am.

• Speaker #0

  Sure, yeah, okay.

• Speaker #4

  You know, like, but if I didn't cheat on her, like, I mean, are the details important?

• Speaker #0

  Yes.

• Speaker #4

  Yeah? Okay. So, okay, look. Okay, so something you should know.

• Speaker #0

  Uh-huh.

• Speaker #4

  She only has one leg. but somehow, and I, I, you know what? I won't even say I remember all of it. I don't. Yeah,

• Speaker #0

  that's, that's a way to play it.

• Speaker #4

  Theoretically, if that prosthetic leg got thrown out into the street, I don't know who did it, really. Right. It could have been her, but she for sure thinks it was her. And, you know, like, I fixed it. You know, she's all happy because she, she thinks that she broke it and, uh. threw it at my head. I don't know who told her that. Life goes on, man. Like, I don't care if she doesn't, like, you know, right? Right? Right?

• Speaker #0

  So you have this argument. She has blacked out at this point because of the proposal. Things escalate. Limbs are thrown. So what happens?

• Speaker #4

  I woke up. You know, I got home. You know, I was bleeding a little bit the next morning, but, you know. Things happen, right?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, I wonder if maybe this is not an opportunity for a do-over and maybe more of a wake-up call for the two of you. Because if you're marriage-minded and this is what happens when you two drink to excess, then that can't be great for you. And that might not be the advice you called in to get, but you two should probably... Cut it back a little.

• Speaker #4

  I love this.

• Speaker #0

  That can be the real fresh start, the real metamorphosis of you two.

• Speaker #4

  Yeah, I like this. I can be the victim.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, that's the, that's a rough read.

• Speaker #4

  You know, you got something special. There's something special about you. You know, if you ever make it over here, you look me up.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, all right. Well, you have a great night, cutie.

• Speaker #1

  Man, here's to the, uh... calls we don't remember and the friends will never forget.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, cheers to that, I guess.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, so coming up next, we have a return caller.

• Speaker #0

  Oh.

• Speaker #1

  I think you'll probably be pretty excited to hear from her.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, try me.

• Speaker #1

  Okay, this is Brenda calling in from South Valley.

• Speaker #0

  Brenda from South Valley. How's it going? It has been a minute.

• Speaker #5

  Things are going great. Josie, you said to be Brenda and I have been Brenda. I have been Brenda 24-7 with everybody.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, wonderful. How's that going? Well,

• Speaker #5

  it was going great until my family decided to have an intervention.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, what did they say was the problem?

• Speaker #5

  They said that I can't be someone I'm not and that I don't have a good reason for not going by Haley anymore, which is stupid because that's not my name. My name is Brenda.

• Speaker #0

  Did you explain to them that this is about the fullest expression of your aspirational self and that Brenda represents? Oh, okay. I see. We have jumped in with both feet, haven't we, Brenda?

• Speaker #5

  I'm Brenda, Josie.

• Speaker #0

  I... I... I...

• Speaker #5

  And they're saying that they don't even know who I am and they miss the old me, but you know, I'm a woman, whoever they're talking about.

• Speaker #0

  I remember Haley, and Haley had a lot of marvelous qualities.

• Speaker #5

  I don't... I don't... I don't even know who that is.

• Speaker #0

  Maybe you've thrown the Haley out with the bathwater.

• Speaker #5

  I mean, she's more than thrown out. She's... she's dead. Josie, we buried her together.

• Speaker #0

  I guess it could feel that way.

• Speaker #5

  We took her to the woods, and we took her body, and we covered her in dirt, and we drove away, and we agreed to never speak of it again. And it's done. It was a mercy killing. Nobody should live like that.

• Speaker #3

  Nobody should have to be a Haley when they want to be a Brenda.

• Speaker #5

  And that's why you can't understand. You don't know what it's like.

• Speaker #0

  Let me tell you something, Brenda. that you might not know about me. Do you know where I am right now? I am in a very cozy booth. I am comfortable. I am anonymous. I have a cup of tea and a chair that I love. And I am in a cocoon of my own privacy from which I dispense advice.

• Speaker #5

  It does sound comfortable, Josie. And you don't know what it's like to hate the person you are. with every breath you take. You don't know what it's like to feel like your own skin is an attack.

• Speaker #0

  Ah, Brenda. I am here for one hour a week, but the other 186 hours. I am not Josie. I am in point of fact, painfully shy. No one would know that. Nobody would know that because that doesn't make for good radio. And so I help. I reach out to people like a Haley. and I help them and say that I helped make that happen, even though the other 186 hours a week, I feel like I can't make anything happen. And I am so, so, so happy that you feel emboldened by Brenda. It would keep me up at night if I thought that I had hurt something that wasn't broken at all.

• Speaker #5

  If I let the person that we buried exist, I'm scared I'll lose what I have now. Because I don't think I can be both of them. I could try a new name.

• Speaker #0

  The name's got nothing to do with it, my dear. You expanded your horizons by playing at Brenda, but it's still you. It was always you, babe.

• Speaker #5

  But I still don't want to be me.

• Speaker #0

  Here's an idea. How about you stay on the line and then we can talk after the show.

• Speaker #5

  Okay.

• Speaker #0

  You just sit tight.

• Speaker #1

  Okay. That's a show.

• Speaker #0

  Wow. Talk about turning over new leaves. Gosh, left, right and center. This was a great show. And I want to thank all of you for... keeping me honest. Anyway, Frank, we run on a tight schedule and tell the good people all about our next little bit of programming, which is Jazzy Boots Junction.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, I love Jazzy Boots Junction. It's one of my favorites. Jazzy Boots Junction is your one stop on your long rail journey to fashionable, iconic... played entirely by footwear. Jazzy Boots Junction is a collection of instruments all sewn out of shoelaces, bootlaces. They have drums. I believe one person has fashioned a saxophone by soaking a boot in resin. It can't be missed. They play every week outside of our station. We finally invited them in. Jazzy Boots Junction. Only on KDNM.

• Speaker #0

  Until next time, nighty-night, cuties.

• Speaker #1

  Good show, buddy.

• Speaker #0

  Thanks. You know what? You head home. I'm going to stay here and I can do the credits.

• Speaker #1

  You sure? Yeah. All right. But, um, I've got my third question.

• Speaker #0

  Well, you better make it snappy because Brenda and Haley and whoever, she's waiting.

• Speaker #1

  Okay. Not to get too personal here.

• Speaker #0

  Mm-hmm.

• Speaker #1

  Last year, KD&M holiday party.

• Speaker #0

  Uh-huh.

• Speaker #1

  You said those brownies were homemade.

• Speaker #0

  If you add frosting to them, that makes them homemade.

• Speaker #1

  You fiend! I knew it! I knew it!

• Speaker #0

  You take this to your grave. This is between you, me, and a Mr. Doughboy.

• Speaker #1

  Oh my god, I knew it. I knew those brownies were boxed. I could taste it a mile away.

• Speaker #0

  Go blow off some steam and let me clean up my mess.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. I'll see you next week. It was a box.

• Speaker #0

  Josie's Lonely Hearts Club was created by Maximilian Clark and Rachel Music. Our callers tonight included the talents of Shane Salk, Danielle Cohen, Matt Mundy, Carla Lerner-Montero, and Sarah Allen. Our story editor is Eliza Bruger. This podcast is brought to you by the Good Story Guild, so give them a follow, join the Discord, you know the deal. If you've made it through two seasons, holy cow, thank you, and maybe write us a review. What's the worst that could happen? But, you know what, just hang on, I gotta take care of a little something. Hey, um, allow me to introduce myself. Hi, Haley. I'm Joanne. Joanne. Alex! Um. Uh, um, listen, I really, I really, I really messed up. And, oh, God, this is new. You haven't heard this. Uh, so the, hi, this is how I sound. Um, this is how I sound. I had to practice the radio voice a lot, and I was kind of embarrassed. Uh, I hope you weren't listening. Oh, God. Um. Joanne. You had me at goodnight. What?