When “This Wasn’t the Plan” Becomes Your Reality as a Parent

What happens when the life I imagined for my children suddenly changes—and I can’t fix it the way I thought I could?

In this episode, I sit down with Tabitha deGrave for an honest conversation about parenting through diagnosis, uncertainty, and the kind of strength people often praise but rarely understand. We talk about what it feels like to raise one child with autism and another with tuberous sclerosis complex, and how those two paths can reshape a mother’s identity in ways no one really prepares you for.

Tabitha shares the guilt, grief, and constant questions that can come after a diagnosis. At the same time, she also speaks to the patience, advocacy, and deep awareness that can grow in that hard space. We also get into why labels can matter, how support can change a child’s future, and what many families wish someone had told them much earlier.

If you’re a parent, caregiver, educator, or someone trying to support a neurodivergent child, I think this conversation will meet you where you are. And if you’ve ever wondered how to keep showing up when life looks nothing like you expected, there’s something here for you.

About the Guest: Tabitha deGrave is a mother, advocate, and author who shares her family’s experience to help other families feel less alone after a diagnosis. She speaks openly about caregiving, community, and the reality of raising children with different support needs.

Key Timestamps

• 0:02 - I welcome Tabitha and ask who she was before diagnosis entered motherhood
• 2:46 - How her daughters’ autism and TSC diagnoses began to unfold
• 4:17 - The guilt that followed missing early autism signs
• 6:33 - What it felt like to hear a rare diagnosis for the first time
• 8:43 - What each child taught her about patience and the healthcare system
• 15:06 - The moment she realized this was more than “just a phase”
• 16:42 - Why she leaned into diagnosis instead of fearing the label
• 25:20 - The part of caregiving most people never see
• 27:04 - What strength really feels like on the inside
• 31:02 - Why she started sharing her story to help other families
• 36:27 - What she’d place in the hands of a mom in early uncertainty

Get you copy of the Anti-Planner - https://shop.adhddd.com/NEURODIVERGENT_CONNECTION

If this episode speaks to you, listen through to the end and share it with someone who needs that reminder: you’re not alone.

#AutismSupport #NeurodivergentConnection #ParentingSpecialNeeds #TSCawareness #CaregiverSupport

Hosted by Reid Miles.
Conversations unfold naturally — no scripts, no rush.

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