Speaker #0Hello, hello, bonjour, konnichiwa. Today's podcast is about self-love and when we hear about this word self-love we can wonder what it is. Does it mean I have to love myself? Is it not something perhaps arrogant? Like what does it mean? And today I would like to share with you my definition of self-love but also some easy ways to achieve it. And I would like also to add a bit of a cultural aspect to this conversation because in some cultures, like for example in the United States where I spent nine years, it is more natural to be proud of our own achievements, to share what we have achieved. we've done, to share what we can do, you know, it's natural because it's part of the school system too, like each student is encouraged by the teachers for what they accomplish, for who they are, so it is something more natural, I would say, in the United States, to be proud of ourselves, right? And in some other cultures, like Japan culture, where I'm from, because I'm French and Japanese, you know, in Japan culture, people tend to be more humble. You know, we don't like to talk about ourselves. We don't want to sound like we're bragging. And it is more group-oriented culture. So we prefer not to, you know, stand out from the crowd. And so it's not natural to... see ourselves as someone amazing. And other cultures like in France also we are more critical towards ourselves, towards others. So of course, we all have different approach to self-love but no matter where we are and no matter where we are from, I truly believe that it is very critical to develop self-love in order to be happier and self-love to me is about you know being happy with who we are to be proud of ourselves but not from arrogant point of view but more for like you know the gratitude I talk a lot about gratitude and this is so important to me. It's very important to have gratitude for who we are, for what we have, you know, done, what we haven't done, for who we are because, you know, since the day we were born, we are already amazing, you know. Each of us, we are unique. Each of us, we have... You know, different personalities, different experiences, different values. And our uniqueness is something to celebrate. And so some easy ways to, you know, develop self-love could be the following ones. The first one, I think it is to stop being mean to ourselves. In order to develop, you know, the feeling of being proud about you, first of all, you need first to avoid being mean. What do I mean by that? I mean to stop criticizing you, to stop saying bad words about you. You know, how many times we say to ourselves, oh, how stupid I am. Like, some people say that many times a day, and even if it seems like it's something small and insignificant, it's so important to, first of all, stop saying bad words to ourselves. And also when we do that, the problem is our kids are watching us, and you will hear your child also saying that, this type of thing, how stupid I am.
Speaker #0The first step I would say is to be nicer to ourselves, to stop saying things that we wouldn't even say to our friends. Like, would you say to your friend, oh, you're stupid, you did this mistake. How stupid, how clumsy you are. Like how forgetful you are. You would not say that to a friend. So stop saying it to you. And also linked to this point, I would say that a lot of time we cannot forgive ourselves for the mistake we've done in the past. We still remember the mistake we did last week, last month, last year. We still cannot forgive ourselves. But the past is the past. So we need to move on. past, okay, perhaps I did a big mistake or a small one, but instead of focusing on this mistake, why don't we focus on what did I learn from this experience? And it doesn't mean because I did this mistake, I will do it again, because that's something else that happens in our mind. We often think that because something bad happened in the past, because I did this mistake, I will do it again. So I'm not capable of doing this. Like, for example, if I failed at a job interview for a marketing position, I'm telling myself, oh, I will not apply for a similar job because I will fail again. So please stop also making this type of assumption that because it happened in the past, it will happen again. This is a big mistake we often do, right? And this is only our imagination. This is only our imagination because what if this time it's a success? So as I said, the first step to develop self-love, the first step is to stop being mean to ourselves. And this includes using kind words towards ourselves and also it includes forgiving. ourselves from our past mistakes and it is not because it happened in the past that it will happen again okay and the second thing for me the second advice I would have is to also celebrate all the small wins all the small success that you have in your life and I'm sure you have so many and the problem is often we don't even pause to reflect back on our successes, our victories, our accomplishments. So why don't we take the time to pause, to celebrate, to write perhaps three happy things you know we had during the day. That's an exercise I also encourage my clients to do often is to write down three gratitudes you have before going to bed. Three gratitudes you have towards yourself, towards something happy that happened during your day, something that made you proud. It could be something very small like I'm so proud because I was able to call the bank and I've been procrastinating for days. and I finally called the bank or I'm so happy because I had a kiss from my daughter or things like that and the trick is not only focusing on your gratitude on the happy events but also adding what made you proud during the day that will be a huge shift on its own because it is about celebrating you for what you have done during the day So to summarize, to develop self-love, first, stop being mean towards yourself. Forgive your mistakes because they helped you become who you are today. And you've learned so much from it. And secondly, celebrate all your wins, all your victories. Learn to be proud of you. And you don't have to shout it from the roof, you know, depending on your culture, you know. It can be a practice that is very private. But at least you can work on your own on developing this self-love. It is about respecting you for who you are. And I hope... This episode will help you and will help you to launch you. on a good foot for 2025. I don't know if that's something we can say in English, but just I hope this episode will help you to give you some motivation to, yes, to love yourself and to spend a wonderful 2025 because you will have so many proud moments. I'm sure so many celebrations and you will also have some challenges like we all do but thanks to these challenges you will learn so much and it will contribute to the future version of yourself so sending you lots of love talk to you soon bye
