Ephesians 4:31 — Hurting from what someone did to you isn't bitterness. That's grief. And scripture never confuses the two.

⛪ Taught at Pilgrim Baptist Church • Cookeville, TN • Sunday School

This teaching addresses one of the most misunderstood pain points in the Christian life: the difference between bitterness and grief — and how spiritual abuse hides behind a twisted use of Hebrews 12:15. If you've ever been told your continued hurt proves you haven't forgiven, or that someone's position excuses them from repenting, this message from Ephesians 4:31 was taught for you.

Forgiveness is commanded of every believer toward every person, without exception, and it doesn't wait on the other person's repentance. But letting go of hatred is not the same thing as trusting someone again — and it is not the same thing as staying silent about what happened. Truthtelling isn't bitterness, and covering for someone's sin isn't forgiveness.

This message walks through Ephesians 4:31, Ephesians 5:11 & 13, Mark 11:25-26, Hebrews 12:15, and Job 42:7 to answer a question a lot of hurting Christians have never heard answered clearly: am I bitter, or am I grieving?

This teaching covers:

- The difference between releasing hatred (owed to everyone, always) and rebuilding trust (which must be earned)

- Why a parent's or a pastor's position never exempts them from repenting when they've sinned against someone

- Truthtelling isn't bitterness — and covering sin isn't forgiveness

- What Mark 11:25-26 actually teaches about forgiveness and prayer — not about justification

- How Hebrews 12:15 gets twisted to blame every hardship on "hidden bitterness"

- The biblical difference between bitterness (wanting someone to pay) and grief (simply remembering what happened)

- Job 42:7 and what happens when people wrongly accuse a suffering person of hidden sin

- A live illustration for the kids: an unopened soda can, shaken again and again, and a bruised arm that isn't a grudge

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