Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and today I'm here with a dear friend, Mr. Drew Majors, whose dad was actually on our podcast way back in the very beginning, but Drew and I have been friends for a while. We became friends because his dad and my dad are friends, so we're kind of forced friends, but Drew has A really cool testimony and a lot of cool stories to share. Today we're going to be talking a little bit about Drew's journey with mental health and how after college, like a bunch of other 23-year-olds, he kind of was just lost and didn't know exactly where to go. And how he met this therapist who really just poured into him and taught him. how to live life as a 23-year-old. So he's going to share with us how he's found purpose now and three concepts that he learned in therapy that really drive his day-to-day and how he wants to live his life. Also, my house almost burned down mid-recording the episode, so listen for that story. Are you interested in donating or sponsoring our show? If so, please, please, please go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and click on either the sponsor or donate tab. This podcast runs on your support. So if you enjoy listening, please consider donating or sponsoring us. It means the whole world to us. Again, I want everyone to know. and I'm going to remind you every single episode that there is no right or wrong way to live your life. The definition of a fulfilling life is unique to each person. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, but rather offer ideas, knowledge, and inspiration to help you create a life that you think is beautiful. Welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction. and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. Once again, I'm Ava Heimbach, your host, and today we have Drew Majors, and this is Stop Wasting Your Life. Hey, Drew.

• Speaker #1

  Hello.

• Speaker #0

  How you doing?

• Speaker #1

  You know what? If I was any better, I'd be your twin.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, stop it. So tell me about your day really quick before we jump in.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, it's been a perfect day. So I went to church on Sunday when we were recording, and, you know, just kind of, I call it the man of the morning. I schedule like seven o'clock to nine o'clock is when I work out, read scripture, read a book, no screen time. It's a start your day off right and work out and then clean up afterwards. And then from nine to nine, you can be ready to conquer the day.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, I was sleeping until 830. And then I went and studied for a couple hours, which was good. And then I went to church. And then I went grocery shopping. And then I spent some time rotting because it's a rotting type of day.

• Speaker #1

  So after church, I had lunch with a friend who was at church. And then I played pickleball two hours and just had a cigar with dad.

• Speaker #0

  Nice. Sounds like a good day.

• Speaker #1

  It was. It was.

• Speaker #0

  Well, how about you tell us a little bit about yourself? I know, I know a little too much about you. No, I'm just kidding. I could never know too much about you. We've had a lot of adventures together, a lot of fun stories and a lot of time to share stories. But for people who don't know you, tell us about yourself.

• Speaker #1

  Who is Drew? Well, Drew's been working on Drew lately. You know, I'll start off by saying, you know. Born and raised Wichita, Kansas. Got a great family and I take pride in our, you know, family lineage and it's important to me that, you know, I consider myself a Lebanese American. Now I'm German too, but... There's parts of that culture and that just stick with me. And I really want to play it up. Like the joke in our family is I'm 25% Lebanese. But you look at my brother, who looks very Irish Catholic, and I stole his shares.

• Speaker #2

  Oh.

• Speaker #3

  Genetic shares.

• Speaker #1

  I went to private school growing up until, I guess, all the way through high school. Went to Wichita Collegiate, great prep school for, you know, if you want to go chase the Ivy League route, it's the place to go. Just in all complete honesty, I had to really work to just keep the grades up. So for high school, freshman year, I transferred over to Trinity Academy. It's a Christian private school in Wichita. And I had. My brother, he had a good group of friends, but they were rowdy. And so I didn't realize this, but my parents prayed from the early 2000s that if it were his will, that the kids would end up there. But for my brother, he led the way. Went through Trinity, graduated, and went off to KU, Rock Chalk. I will always be a Jayhawk. But unfortunately, that place wasn't right for me. It was 2020. Not going on. We had COVID. We had social injustice. I did get trapped on Naismith Drive in a riot, kind of during the George Floyd whole chaos of America. So, anywho, ended up transferring to Arkansas and found just the... God's chosen people. They were down there. The Southern Belt, you know, sunshine states down south, Arkansas, Alabama, Tennessee. I just love the Southern twang lifestyle. They're relaxed. You can just talk about your faith openly. I graduated Arkansas. I studied finance, emphasis on real estate. And, you know, I tell people ever since I was. eight years old, I knew I was going to be a real estate developer because I had Uncle George. And, you know, again, this is something I've revisited lately with my new therapist, Reese. I don't really call him that. He's more of a life coach and now he's a friend. And so there was a session two weeks ago, right? Our session. I stayed two hours and 30 minutes, but back to real estate development, graduation, all that. So during college, the second half of college, I started working for the neighbor across the street from us growing up. I kind of mentored his kids and just was babysitter, tennis coach, Drew, and we would hang out all the time. Well, Nick happened to be a developer. And so I'm like, what a great internship to start there. And so I did and worked. They're about three and a half years through college and then maybe a year after college. Well, I guess long story short, I just there came a day that I'll say I didn't know it at the time. And I've honestly reading some like really interesting philosophers and theologians and just like some of the saints in our faith. Their writings, St. Augustine, he talks about, you know, in my early 20s, I just didn't have the language and clear understanding. So I relate to that a lot because there was something stirring with inside me and to the outside. I seem to have some form of analysis paralysis. So we kind of. And when I started. Finally reach out to a counselor. But I finally said, you know, Drew's not perfect. I need help. And I think just admitting that is the first step. Showing up to the first session, the next step. After that, it's just hanging out with your friend, right? But you've got to swallow your pride or whatever it is that's holding you back from asking. I think I need to seek guidance.

• Speaker #0

  So what was it that you were seeking guidance on?

• Speaker #1

  Question? I didn't know at the time. I didn't have the language. So I noticed for the past two years, I had some, when life is good, it's like real good, like real good. And when it's not, it's the darkest depths. And so what happens when you don't have the language? and you don't know what the heck is stirring within you, you say, I really, you know, we went to maybe KU Medicine in their psychology department. And, you know, after quick conversations that felt like interrogations, I was not comfortable. And I said, yeah, you know, maybe a year ago, I was wheeling and dealing, running 100 miles an hour and very, talkative and high on life and people noticed that it's like whoa pump your brakes but then there's there were seasons of low low low so you start talking to these professionals and they say oh it's my bowler no question about that you got ups you got downs ups and down so they gave me the formal and i went to of course get three perspectives and they're like yeah it checks out so not that i've was hesitant to accept that because if i need to accept it i will but the deepest inner soul of the real drew he knew that i think there's more to this than just that and finally after like two therapists and a couple of specialists in that space. One of them was willing to have a conversation with me, ask some questions. And he provided some, you know, well, Drew, you just said that. By that, do you mean this? I go, because I didn't have the language. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm feeling. Wait, you mean... It's normal. But like other 23 year olds that are trying to figure it out, ask that same question and feel the same way. Oh, so we don't need to put you in this box over here and make you feel like something's wrong with you. So normal feelings. I didn't know how to describe feelings. And I will admit this in college. There was a buddy of mine who was struggling and he was like, I need, I need some antidepressants and I need therapy and I need, and I was like, not me, you know, I've never felt that way. And I don't think I'll, I'll never like end up like that. What happens next?

• Speaker #3

  Well,

• Speaker #1

  that got me. So, which I'm so thankful for. And I don't know if I'd ever say that. you know before four months ago so I learned a lot over the years and you know so what was really stirring within me first Reese started asking questions like okay well what's your family situation like go couldn't be better the best parents best grim best support system you They've provided for me. So nothing to check that box, right? No trauma, all that. Well, tell me about your early years. Well, I was doing this, this, and this. I was in the musicals. I was in boy choir. I was in basketball team, football team. The list went on. So then we were like, oh, you're kind of a doer. Yeah. Well, I. I kind of have to succeed in all I do. It's just what I do. So what's the perfect life? The dream life, even at nine years old, I thought Drew's going to be a developer. So I put all my eggs in that basket after graduation. Drew's going to prove it to the world that like Uncle George, he's, you know, it's in the genes. My middle name's George, by the way. So there's always been, and after talking with Reese, you know, we didn't realize that. Some of the conversations with family, it's always positive. It's like, well, George is a great guy. And I heard through the years growing up, well, you're so much like George. And he's this way and he loves helping people and he has all this energy to go, go, go, go the same way. And but when you start to emulate his life, we all have our unique. abilities and journey and that's something re-shared with me he goes you know just want you to know that you're like a finance economics guy so you're gonna get this but you know a supply and demand graph you know when there's low supply and a high demand it's a value like when there's limited watches out there and the price goes up if people demand it right so he goes there's only one of you. So you're worthy and you matter and you're rare and you're, therefore you're valuable. Okay. I got it. Just hearing that from him. Okay. You care about me one, but it's, you shared it as if you, even if it's not me, that's how God sees you. Okay. You're his chosen son. He knows you by name. There's the hairs on your head. He cares about you. So in your lows, you're rare, therefore valuable. And so, you know, and that's, of course, in my lowest of low, I met with him. And now he sees within three months, the uneasiness, what was stirring inside me, just providing clarity and the language and the confidence to. talk about so let that leads me to this the explanation and i wrote a song and it was ava it's dedicated to her because it was a conversation she had and we met for coffee and i wasn't responding to anyone so and that's what actually brought a lot of what what made my separation and when and i went into the lows I needed to be alone and didn't want to be out in the limelight and the spotlight because I've always been. And so then again, who do others think Drew is? Well, he's that guy back there. But I knew the real Drew right now is not there.

• Speaker #0

  So you said that you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder at one point. But you also said that you were kind of unwilling to accept that that was the correct diagnosis. Why was it that you were unwilling to accept that?

• Speaker #1

  Just like how I was, you know, growing up, I was born with a club foot. Wasn't, you know, they were wondering if I was going to walk funny or be able to run and be an athlete. I said, doesn't matter. I'm going to do it. you It was a great story. When I was born, my dad noticed my foot was turned around. Like, is he going to be able to, you know, participate in sports? And the surgeon, whoever delivered me, was so calm. He goes, Chris, can Troy Aikman play football? So the best quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys had a club foot. The best. tennis player i follow clubfoot best golfer has one so no it's not going to hold you back we might have to surgery they release the tendon the achilles heel snip it restructure it grows back normal one leg you've probably have you noticed one leg of mine is much smaller than the other and the calf like hardly jump off the left foot so therefore the right foot i had to overcompensate Thank you. It's like double the size.

• Speaker #0

  Interesting. I never noticed, but.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, so that's kind of the reason why I don't accept it. It's like, I'm not going to let it bother the potential of what Drew could be. I'm not going to accept that. Now, if I need to, if I need to take a certain pill to be better, I'm going to take it. As long as that leads to. being the Drew he's meant to be.

• Speaker #0

  So would you say it was more just like anxiety and depression instead of like bipolar disorder?

• Speaker #1

  Yes. Yes and yes. But also, I'll fill you in on what we truly think, what we've discovered over our time with me and Reese, my life coach. I remember talking to him about, okay, well, when did this all start? Well, I never noticed it in college, so let's start there. Okay, well, entering into the real world, there's a little more responsibilities, some stressors come up, providing for your own for the first time, living away from your family, working eight to five at a desk. So. Just because, you know, I don't want this show to tell people what to do or how to live their life. You kind of, you recognize that at the start. But I'll just, again, Lebanese entrepreneur, Kevin O'Leary, who's also dyslexic. He says this, Shark Tank guy. Well, what is a salary? You know, a corporate job with a salary. How much can we pay you? to forget about your dreams what do you actually want to do how do you actually want to live your life what do you want to accomplish for the good of people or do you want to just look at a spreadsheet how much do we need to pay you to do that and

• Speaker #2

  forget about what you actually were made to do and i'm like oh damn that one a little bit oh maybe that's kind of

• Speaker #1

  I mean, I've always felt that way. That's why I didn't accept. There's the greatest company in all of Wichita, worldwide, is located here in Wichita. Fifteen of my friends were there. Great. They're happy. I just didn't go that route. So we were talking about when I got out of college. I said, well, I never noticed it before. And. All was well, right? I had friends. I was getting great grades. Life was good. Simple as that. And then I go, well, I have been thinking. It's about, I don't know. I just feel like when you're in the real world, you don't have a grade book. What do you mean by that? Well, when I was in college. I have a 97 in literature, a 97 in math class, 97 in business. I'm fine. I'm good. There's validation there. Drew's good, okay? When you go to the real world, what's your grade book? What's your standard? What tells you that you're on track? Who's going to tell you? You're on track. So we started discussing that, and he wrote it down, and I kind of went home and wrote a song about it. And there are a few things that we uncovered. It's like, well, Drew doesn't, like, he's not friends with Drew right now. And I guess he, Reese told me that he's noticed that the real Drew has. It's like deep longing, deep desire to connect with people at not a surface level. Hey, it's so great that you're doing well. You've been traveling. That's great. No, How are you? Not like, how's your job? How are you? I want to hear that. The raw beauty, Ava. How are you? You good? Because don't lie to me, but there will be times when I call you and I'm like, no, no, no, I don't care about your podcast. I do care. I do care. No, I care more about you. Okay. So heart to heart, one on one. And so that's what made the separation from people so shameful, but also like the real Drew longs to be with people. and have those conversations. But that inner voice. who attacks was saying, true, you're not to be in public. No, they don't want you there. Well, you're not excelling right now. So therefore you're not a value. What are you doing with your day? Nothing. So I must not be of service to people. You know, I don't, I can't serve others because I'm not doing anything for them right now. And I don't want to be with them right now. So. Basically, he's like, oh, so you're just needing a way to provide Drew with some validation. You know, because I don't. Something that will help me say, okay, how the gradebook works. And this was his recommendation. We're going to create a gradebook for you. Okay, what does that look like? Well, between now and the next time I see you, be thinking of like five. mission statements that you're going to create. Okay. And disregard money, disregard what people think of you, all that, the Western civilization, capitalism, all that, disregard it all. At a biblical foundation level, what like the true image bearer, Christ follower drew. How does he live his life? What activities is he going to do? If you could only do five things in your lifetime, and I'll bring in this concept that we talked about. He goes, we're going to talk about, it sounds like when you were at your lowest of low, your cup was dry. We're going to work to fill your cup. So what are those things in your life that fill your cup? You know, when I'm with people, when I'm serving people, when I'm in conversation with people, when I'm loving on people, that fills my cup. When I song write, when I sing, I can play the piano and sing for 10 hours a day. Clearly that fills my cup, right? Have I made any money off of my music? No. So, but does it fill your cup? Yes. So he was saying, you know, Reese is a father and husband. He wants to be a loving father and husband. That's one. He also wants to have a successful occupation or career, you know, wants to better himself in that in his industry. So he provided an example of like, well, there are some weeks. I actually go away from my family to a conference to be a better me. Okay. So that next week I might have to focus more on the family side. Hang with the kids, make sure wife's okay. You know, groceries, laundry, all that when I come back. So think of it as like a dial or like a, I'm looking at a soundboard, those knobs that you turn, you need to adjust. one thing, maybe bring back another to reach a perfect harmony or the perfect grade book, whatever that looks like to you. And so I wrote some mission statement. We don't have time to, you know, discuss all of them, but they're common. They're easy. So whenever you start to like discover and form ways of like, I guess it's just. understanding and clarity it becomes so easy to talk about these things with people because you then you realize oh my gosh i'm not crazy one i'm not crazy other 20 year olds are thinking the same thing they're struggling in the same ways i'm not in this box over here i'm normal i'm a broken human i'm not perfect and then when you accept that you're like perfect perfect it's easy I'm not perfect. I'm just trying my best out here. And so when you have that perspective change and you find you surround yourself with amazing people. One of mine is Ray. I would love, I mean, just I have millions of stories. He's become my third grandpa. And he's taught me everything.

• Speaker #3

  Is my house on fire? One second. Hello.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, so we had to take a quick break. Ava's unsure if she lit her house on fire, and that kind of leads to another great conversation about filling your cup. What fills Drew's cups? He actually loves, during the day, putting out fires for others.

• Speaker #1

  Okay, sorry, guys. They don't know what's going on. Okay, guys, fire alarms are off. So let's summarize for everybody. What were your top three concepts or, you know, things you learned in therapy that you would like to share with other people?

• Speaker #0

  One of those simply being, you know, when things aren't going well or you're uneasy, just do what fills your cup. And it's as simple as that. We know what. brings us joy. Not happiness, joy. There's a difference. And what is the real Drew to do? And it doesn't mean you have to go accomplish everything. It's like you said, Drew, just waking up is, you know, going on a run is enough for one day. I mean, you conquered that. You did it. So do what fills your cup. The thing Reese really hit home on. The second one is, Drew, success is in the doing. It's not like a destination, you know, because honestly, if you set a goal or a destination to get to, you're honestly limiting yourself. So success is in the doing. Doesn't matter what you do. Just do. Just do it. And then that leads to because motivation is not enough, but motion and like actually. gaining some traction in the doing kind of propels you forward to keep doing. And when you start taking care of Drew, finally you're content and you're like, oh, now I'm only going to focus on others. So that was another thing we uncovered. It's like, well, Drew is so down. He wasn't a friend of Drew. You're to love your neighbor as yourself. Well, if you don't love self, therefore you can't love your neighbor. So figure out, because I thought you're not to love self. No, you're not to have this ego or pride of self. You are to love yourself. You're God's creation. He loves you, so you should love you and love you so that you can love others. Other than that, I took the, you know, the grade book, certainly something I've shared with everyone. And there's... It's unreal how many 24-year-old guys, maybe girls, but when I talk to guys about it, finally someone's communicated that in a way that I can relate to, makes sense. I'm trying to prove myself or I'm trying to, I just don't know, you know, maybe if I'm in a relationship, someone will validate me, say I'm good and, you know, doing the right thing. Well, of course. Grandma and parents have always said, Drew, you know, you're doing the right thing. You know, you're doing great. Grandma, that's just you talking. I need to know that. So how can I validate that I'm on track? And it's not about conquering the world. It's just about, you know, sitting down you and pull up a chair. God, sit with me this morning. Tell me what I'm to do for your kingdom. for your people, for your glory, because that's what I want to do. And I'll fill my cup and it will overflow to others. So you get to a point where you get to a certain spot and you're like, now it's just all about others. And that's kind of where I'm at today. And my whole perspective change of work has changed. Now I don't need to develop this, develop that. write this song, make it number one on the charts. I'm going to write music because I love it. It fills my cup. If people like it, they'll listen. I'll share a story, shares my testimony. Great, whatever. But I'm playing for an audience of one.

• Speaker #1

  Well, you're a pretty cool guy, Drew Majors.

• Speaker #0

  You know, and one thing I accept, I'm broken. I've figured it out lately. but I'll never figure it out and that's the journey of life and that's what makes it fun. and just hang out with people that are like-minded. And so this explains our relationship and why it's so pure and strong is, you know, you kind of told me one day, well, Drew, I'm going to love you. And you use that term so loosely because, like, I think about love and it's like romantic love. No, there's multiple forms. There's, oh, I'm not great with. latin it's probably not even latin but anywho what i was saying there is like you were saying drew i'm gonna love the true that's down low the true that's way too high and if i'm too high ava bring me down to okay because i need it because that's the real drew and well you know actually the real drew is ups and down drew the willingness to just no matter what i do I don't ever want to want people to look at Drew's life and say, was he working when he was doing that? Or was he at leisure? Was he just hanging out? I want to be a guy that just hangs out, do a lot of cool things one day, maybe. But I don't want to be defined by my work. So and I never want to have a title. Because that question was actually the problem when I separated is, who is Drew? What do you do? Well, I wanted to have an answer like, I'm a lawyer. Badass. No, it's, I was uncomfortable because I didn't have the answer, the one word answer. But doesn't that limit you to just being a lawyer? No, I'm Drew. I love songwriting. You know, and honestly, I'm just a guy that puts out fires for people. And that makes me on fire.

• Speaker #1

  So Drew. Big question is, what does not wasting your life look like to you?

• Speaker #0

  Not wasting your life is, it's a balancing act of the things you do and how you spend your time here because it's limited. And it's all about asking the Lord, walking with the Spirit, living a sacred paced life. It's a balancing act. So it's what am I to do? I'm ready and able. Spirit, you know, be with me. If I need to buy lunch for that guy on the corner, I'm going to do it because you say so. And that could be me. And actually, he has a great story. So I'm going to talk to him, make a friend with him. And so that's not wasting your life. Don't stay at a desk. Go see the world. Love everyone. And I mean, I've made, I was telling you, I made 15 international friends this past week. They're all tennis players. I love them. We all have olive skin. We talk way too fast. We use our hands when we talk. And we just, so just dramatic. And we talk so much, way too much. But their energy. Passes on to me and I'm fueled by it. I don't need sleep. I'm going to sleep. That's actually a problem of mine. But that's not wasting your life.

• Speaker #1

  Beautiful. That concludes our episode. I really hope you enjoyed our conversation with Drew and the interruption of my house almost burning down. I'm excited to talk to you guys next week. Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop Wasting Your Life. We hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose, intention, and authenticity. If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to leave us a good review, give us a follow, and subscribe to our newsletter. For more information, go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com, and we will see you next week.