Speaker #0Hello, and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder. And today we're going to be having another solo episode. So yep, it's just me. And this is going to be part of a three week series, we're going to be talking about anxiety. So to all my anxiety friends out there, if you have anxiety, it's a topic that I'm super passionate about. And I'm excited to share some of the things that I've learned throughout the years about living with anxiety with you guys. So after this three week series, we're going to have an appearance from a guest that I absolutely love. And she's been a childhood idol of mine since I was a little kid. So I'm actually so excited. She lives the coolest life ever. So stay tuned for that. But today, our anxiety episode is going to be about... how much anxiety sucks, but also how it is worth it. This is an episode for anyone who hates their anxiety and needs to be friended a little bit, but someone who also wants to be reminded that something good is going to come from your anxiety if it hasn't already. And every single day, I'm seeing new ways that I hate my anxiety, but also new ways that my anxiety has changed my life for the better. Just a little reminder, I want everyone to know, and I say this every single episode, but there is no right or wrong way to live your life. The definition of a fulfilling life is unique to each person. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, but rather offer ideas, knowledge, and inspiration to help you create a life that you think is beautiful. Welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life. the podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. Once again, I'm Ava Heimbach, your host, and this is Stop Wasting Your Life. Okay, guys, anxiety, the big scary word, anxiety. Well, I guess that's scary for me. It might not be scary for everyone, but anxiety has been a scary word for me since I was a kid. And I've learned that trying to explain my anxiety to people who don't experience anxiety is often very challenging. The best way that I have found to do this is to use metaphors because metaphors make everything easier to understand in my opinion. And the metaphor that has stuck with me the longest is comparing my anxiety to a ledge. So I've always liked to tell my counselors that I'm quote unquote on my anxiety ledge. And when I say that, they totally know exactly what I mean. Like imagine there's this ledge and I'm standing on it and just beyond the ledge, there is something super scary. So for me, that could be throwing up because anyone who knows me knows that I throwing up is the scariest thing known to mankind for me. So but for the sake of this podcast, since not everyone is afraid of throwing up like I am beyond the edge of my anxiety ledge, we're going to say there is a. deep and fiery pit of angry alligators with knives, aka a panic attack. So the further I can step away from my ledge, the better. And the further I get, the more my heart rate slows, which means less and less anxiety. So this is good. I want to step away from the ledge because the further I get, the closer I get to a state of calm. So I often use this ledge when I'm talking to my counselors about situations that made me panic. So it'll start when I'm put in a situation where anxiety could arise. So that would be one step towards the ledge. Then something might trigger that anxiety, which would put me another step closer. Then my heart rate would spike. My thoughts would start to spiral another step closer to the ledge. And before I know it, I'm peeking over the ledge. of panic, making eye contact with all of the big scary alligators down there. So sometimes I'm good about talking myself off of that ledge. I've gotten so much better since. When did I start having anxiety? Kindergarten. I can use my coping mechanisms or I can, you know, try and calm my thoughts, use breathing techniques, find a safe person to talk to. But sometimes I can't stop that panic attack and I fall face first into the deep and fiery pit of angry alligators. And sometimes it's really hard for me to climb out of that pit. So during one counseling session, I think it was maybe a couple years ago, I was talking to Pam, my wonderful counselor who I love so very dearly, about my anxiety ledge. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I was telling her about a situation that had unfolded and somehow resulted in me falling into the deep and fiery pit off of my ledge. So I explained to her how scary that anxiety ledge was to me and how I did everything I could to stop from falling. But I ended up falling and mid sentence, I just remember her pausing. And she looked at me and she said, What if we stop thinking of that ledge? Like it's a bad thing. Pam, what are you talking about? Like, that is not just any ledge that is an anxiety ledge. And That is a ledge with angry alligators at the bottom of it. And there is nothing good that could come from that ledge, actually. And then I remember her saying something that definitely has stuck with me. She said, what if we start thinking of your anxiety ledge as a good thing? A good thing? So you're saying, Pam, that that anxiety that haunted me every single day impacted so many areas of my life, ruined relationships. and caused me to miss many opportunities was now going to be called a good thing. Yeah, no, that's confusing. And I don't know what you mean by that. Definitely remember being very confused and asking, Pam, what do you mean by that? So let me explain how she explained it from her end. In 2021, my family and I all moved to the island of Kauai, Hawaii. Anyone who knows me knows how much this island means to me and I am beyond blessed to be able to call this island home. Everything about it brings me so much joy and happiness and I am filled with so much peace when I'm there. I mean it's crazy there are canyons and valleys and tropical hikes and just everything about the culture and the Hawaiian people and the island itself. It's all just beautiful to me. But the absolute most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life is a spot located on Kauai, and it's called the Nepali Coast. I wish that I could describe to you how beautiful this coast is, but honestly, there's just no way for me to put it into words. I mean, whenever I look at the Nepali Coast, I feel so small, but in a wonderful way. but my favorite hike is located along one of the ridges on the Nepali coast, where you start at the top of the hike and you hike along the ridge for about 45 minutes until you get to the end. And it's a beautiful view. Well, you may be thinking, sounds like an easy hike, 45 minutes, not bad. But the catch is the entire hike is on the very edge of the ridge. And when I say very edge, I mean like very edge of the ridge. I mean, for 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back, you are hiking up and down these hills, super steep hills that are not even six inches away from a cliff that drops down thousands of feet. So one wrong move and you could easily fall to your death. But like I said, at the end of the hike, you come to the very end of the ridge, which is a ledge. It's not a ledge with a fiery pit of angry alligators, but it is a very steep, narrow, high ledge that you could plummet to your death. So I would say it's just as scary. So when you finally make this ledge after the pain and fear and danger that you just endured on this hike, you will be face to face with the most beautiful sight you have ever laid your eyes on. It's literally a panoramic view of the Nepali coast. you can see mountains, ridges, valleys, the ocean. And this is all from thousands of feet above sea level. I mean, it's just spectacular. And as you stand there. You're still feet away from a ledge that would lead you to immediate death, but all you can do is sit in awe of what's before you. I mean, it's so beautiful that you genuinely forget how high you are. So whenever I stand on the edge of that ledge, every time I go on this hike, 90% of the time I'm absolutely speechless and can't get any words out of my mouth. But for the other 10% of the time, all I can do is mutter out the word, whoa. So we're going to call this ledge my woe ledge. So here's where I'm going to apply what Pam was talking about, which was turning my terrifying anxiety ledge into a good ledge. She asked me to answer the following question. What if you woke up one morning and decided to change your mindset when it came to your anxiety ledge? Okay, well, let me think about that. My first step would be getting rid of all negative thoughts about my anxiety ledge. Yes, this was the anxiety ledge that I was constantly avoiding. My life was often centered around backing away from this ledge. It determined how, when, where, and with whom I did certain things. I mean, this ledge has taunted me since I was a little kid, but that ledge has got to go. So let's say that I decided to Think of my anxiety ledge a little bit more like my woe ledge. The woe ledge that I see when I'm standing thousands of feet above the Nepali coast, not my anxiety ledge. So getting to that woe ledge obviously is not an easy task. It took a lot for you to make it to that woe ledge. You just worked your butt off trying to get there. You are extremely tired. You're out of breath. You can barely breathe due to the altitude. Your legs hurt. You pulled a calf muscle. You fell. There are so many times I have fallen on this hike, and it's been muddy, and I'll have a stain on my booty, and it looks like I just pooped my pants. I do have photos to prove it. You're terrified of heights. You almost passed out. I mean, obviously, this was not an easy task to complete this hike, but you endured it all, the pain, the fear, the close calls, and you have finally made it. to that ledge, not just any ledge, but the most beautiful ledge you have ever seen in your entire life, also known as the woe ledge. As someone who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, I know truly just how scary anxiety is. I mean, trust me, anyone who tries to tell you that anxiety isn't scary, no matter what it is that may be causing it, they've obviously never had anxiety because it feels as though you are on the... edge of danger only feet away from a terrifying drop constantly. Extremely high ledges are scary and so is anxiety, hence the reason I like to compare the two. As much as I hate to say it, your anxiety is probably going to cause you some sort of pain, just like how that hike to the woe ledge caused you pain. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, getting to that woe ledge caused you pain. Anxiety will overpower your thoughts. It'll cause you to lose touch with the reality of certain situations. The pain of that anxiety may trap you and hurt you and you may subconsciously hurt people around you as well. Anxiety is hard, it's exhausting, and it's painful. If you are anything like me, you are going to find yourself standing on many anxiety ledges throughout your life, probably more than you would ideally like to stand on. And Each one might look a little different, but they'll all come with that same paralyzing fear. And that's the fear of the fall, whether that is the fear of the fall off the woe ledge or the fear of the fall off your anxiety ledge. There will be some days where you feel like your body is moving you towards the edge of the ledge and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. But here's the truth. And this is what Pam was getting at. Those anxiety ledges don't necessarily have to be scary ledges. Yes, these ledges can be very scary, but they don't always have to be scary. There are such things, beautiful ledges out there. Trust me. That means that at the end is something absolutely breathtaking. There are a bunch of scary and dangerous ledges that will lead you to beautiful places. And that is something that will make all the pain. and fear worth it. Just because a ledge is scary, dangerous, or brings you to a whole ton of unwanted anxiety, that doesn't mean that it is a ledge that isn't worth stepping onto. There are plenty of frightening and uncertain ledges that you will not want to stand on, but some of those ledges, those anxiety ledges, could lead you to something amazing, something that you don't even know is there. Take, for example, the hike up the Nepali coast. Imagine if you would have turned around the moment you saw how steep and dangerous the path was. If you would have fixated on the, what if this happens? Or, what if I die? You would have never made it to the end of the hike. And the end is the best part of the hike by far. So if you would have focused on all the risks and dangers associated with the hike, you probably would have been too scared and would have missed out on seeing the most beautiful sight known to mankind. The beauty that awaited you at... The end of this hike was beyond anything you could have ever imagined from the beginning of the hike, and you almost missed it because you were scared. Same goes for your anxiety. If you allow that anxiety to consume you and stop you from experiencing life, even the scary parts, you will miss the opportunity to experience the beauty that waits for you on the other side. If you constantly focus on all of the negatives that come from your anxiety, such as the fears, the failures, the things that your anxiety convinces you that you can't do, you will never find that courage to press forward or find the beauty in it. It's easy to get trapped in that self-doubt and tell yourself that you can't do it. The hard part is actually doing it, actually taking that step. If you press forward, despite that fear, the anxiety, and the pain, you will be able to look back and realize that you did it you made it to that woe ledge. You got to experience that ledge and all of its beauty. You did it and it was worth it. All of it. Every single step, every ounce of pain, every moment of doubt, every single second of anxiety was worth it. If you keep pushing on, you're going to make it to the end. I know you will. There will be something beautiful waiting for you. However, that beauty might look for you. I know that beauty looks a little different for me. It might not be something that you realize right away. It would be nice if we could realize that right away, but sometimes that's not how it goes. But with each brave step you take, that beauty will reveal itself in time. And one day you will be able to look back and see the meaning behind your anxiety and why it all happened the way that it did. There will be something beautiful at the end of your hike. You just have to keep going. One foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward. I know if you will, you will find something beautiful. You just have to trust me. Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop Wasting Your Life. We hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose, intention, and authenticity. If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to leave us a good review, give us a follow, and subscribe to our newsletter. For more information, go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com, and we will see you next week.
