Description

In this episode of Stop Wasting Your Life, Ava sits down with her longtime friend, Kanak Michael Masten. Kanak opens up about being adopted from India at age five, growing up in the U.S. with white parents, and the incredible experience of reconnecting with his birth family years later. Along the way, Ava and Kanak share hilarious memories from their friendship — from sneaking around strict college dorms, to nearly losing a passport in a Paris nightclub. It’s a conversation full of laughter, heart, and a powerful reminder that even when life feels uncertain, connection, spontaneity, and finding joy in the moment can help us discover our true purpose.

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Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and today I'm here with Kanak Michael Mastin, my longtime friend's...

• Speaker #1

  Your dad's favorite.

• Speaker #0

  My dad's favorite child. My dad's favorite child that was not his child, actually. But I wanted to have Kanak on because Kanak and I are always just kind of... Do you remember we used to fight all the time? Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  we used to fight.

• Speaker #0

  Dude, we used to fight all the time.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, because we used to be together all the time.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, we would spend... especially during covid like we spent so much time together i think we just there was a time of our lives where we like hated each other a little bit and now we're just like best friends yeah like we just grew out of that phase but so i wanted to have him come and he's lived a pretty cool life he was adopted when he was five grew up um in a family in the u.s and then later just a couple years ago went back and actually found his birth mom and so definitely gonna talk a little bit about that. Tell us that story. and some funny, probably going to tell some funny stories about us as friends and things that have happened. I think we should just go with, I think we should just start right now and leave it at that.

• Speaker #1

  There you go.

• Speaker #0

  Welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. Hello, once again, this is Ava Heimbach, your host, and Canuck Michael Mastin, and this is Stop Wasting Your Life. So, Canuck Michael Mastin. Before we begin, why don't you say hi, like be friendly. Thank you.

• Speaker #1

  Hi guys. Hope everyone's doing good.

• Speaker #0

  So just tell me a little bit about yourself, even though I know a lot about you. Tell everybody else a little bit.

• Speaker #1

  I'm not done with my question. Oh, go ahead.

• Speaker #0

  Tell me a little bit more about, tell me about yourself.

• Speaker #1

  So basically, I was born in India. I was adopted when I was five, moved to Lawrence. Grew up here until I left for college when I was 18, moved to California. Um, I have white parents, so I grew up really white, whitewashed. This is, we call it a coconut.

• Speaker #0

  You're a coconut?

• Speaker #1

  I'm brown on the outside.

• Speaker #0

  Wow. I have never heard that, but I love it.

• Speaker #1

  A little coconut.

• Speaker #0

  My little coconut. There you go. I'm going to change your contact from Canuck Michael Mastin to coconut.

• Speaker #1

  Coconut. I could go with it.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, cool. Okay, go on.

• Speaker #1

  But yeah, love traveling, sports. Um, yeah.

• Speaker #0

  We've traveled a lot together, haven't we?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, we went to Paris last year.

• Speaker #0

  Paris last year was you me shirty Aiden the first trip ever was Hawaii actually oh yeah that's right Hawaii Paris we've been in California to visit you multiple times yeah like a lot you always come randomly drive your car spontaneously I have driven my car twice no multiple times more than that and you've gotten it towed to what and you've gotten it towed your car oh I did yeah fun story fun story I drove to California, got there, was like, I really don't want to drive back. That was 24 hours. I'm going to fly home and then come back eventually. So I asked Knock if I could leave my car with him.

• Speaker #1

  In the neighborhood. In the neighborhood.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. And he was like, yeah, sure. I leave my car in this neighborhood all the time. And so I'm like, okay, I'm literally trusting you with my baby. So I parked my car on the side of the road and I'm like, is it going to be okay? And he was like, yeah, it's going to be fine.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. We even checked on it the day before he got towed. Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  And I literally, one of my... really good friends went to visit him and i texted him and i was like make sure that kanak moves my car it's been sitting there for so long and he was like okay i'll tell him to move it and then he called me the next day and he was like um so kanak said that it's perfectly fine we don't need to move it it's i've never had to move it i've always parked my car there for more than like weeks well i get a call the next week that my car was towed my car was towed and how much money was it it's like five 50 i think yeah it was like 700 to get it back yeah i think you're yeah no it's 550 anyway side note my car did get towed in california and i had to pay a lot of money to get it back thanks canuck so love you my

• Speaker #1

  little coconut you're so welcome for it that's your rent for staying at my house oh thank you yes it was my no but like i didn't know that was a law that you couldn't leave your car there for more than 72 hours it was 72 hours yeah 72 hours i learned so many rules at the police station well i'm just waiting guess there's something good that came out of it hello anyway okay what else about you what else hmm sports always been into sports soccer tennis basketball I think what else?

• Speaker #0

  Where have you gone to college?

• Speaker #1

  I went, so I started at San Bernardino in California my freshman year. Then I came back after COVID because it wasn't that much fun. So I went to Benedictine for a semester here in Atchison. And then I hated that even more. So then I went back to California.

• Speaker #0

  But you met some good friends.

• Speaker #1

  I met some good friends, yeah. My roommate was the best and it was great.

• Speaker #0

  So it was worth it.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, it turned out well. It was good to be home for, or like closer to home. And then I went back to California and I'm at Cal State San Marcos, which is in San Diego. And yeah, one semester left.

• Speaker #0

  One semester or one year?

• Speaker #1

  One semester. Graduated in December.

• Speaker #0

  What are you going to do next?

• Speaker #1

  I'm studying international business. We'll see what I want to do. Something in marketing or sports. Probably something in the sports industry.

• Speaker #0

  What would be like your dream job? Like if I was like, you can have any job right now, what would it be?

• Speaker #1

  Professional athlete.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, well.

• Speaker #1

  Or a pilot.

• Speaker #0

  A pilot?

• Speaker #1

  yeah but there's a lot i would take because they can travel for free pilot school then no that's too much money and not i'd rather not no just not my cup of tea it's okay i have never heard you say those words out of your mouth i used to become an astronaut when i was a kid my whole like an astronaut my whole bedroom was built like a spaceship oh that's kind of sick and then never did anything with science i failed bio so i was like that's not my way to go in life so i just wait why don't you go to pilot school that'd be sick uh it's too late

• Speaker #0

  No, not necessarily. My friend Mary, the one who's a professional soccer player, she came over a couple days ago and she was like, yeah, I think I'm gonna get my pilot license in my free time.

• Speaker #1

  I'd love to be a pilot.

• Speaker #0

  And I was like, first of all, what free time? Like you're a professional soccer player. Yeah, literally. But she was like, I just love flying and flying is such a hassle and I might as well just do it myself.

• Speaker #1

  Become your own pilot.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, and I was like, that's actually so sick. I would do that if I wasn't scared of airplanes.

• Speaker #1

  I love traveling, but I just never would become a pilot.

• Speaker #0

  So you grew up here. You were adopted from India. So tell me a little bit about growing up here. And then also tell me the story about when you went and found your adoptive family, because that's a pretty cool story.

• Speaker #1

  So, so yeah, as I was born there and then I moved, I first moved to DC. We lived there for about six months.

• Speaker #0

  When you first came to the US? Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  when I first came to the US. So when my first adopt, when my first parents came to, my adoptive parents came to visit or adopt me. They came to visit? Yeah, I mean, they did visit. We moved to DC.

• Speaker #0

  So wait, did you know? Did you meet them before they adopted you or did you just meet them?

• Speaker #1

  No, that was the first time.

• Speaker #0

  Do you remember meeting them for the first time?

• Speaker #1

  Yes and no. I just remember being on a playground.

• Speaker #0

  Really?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, like outside of the orphanage. They had a little playground and like trees and that's where.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, so then you went to D.C.

• Speaker #1

  Then we flew to D.C. and lived there for six, seven months. And then I came here for kindergarten.

• Speaker #0

  So did they buy the house when you moved here? Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  yeah. So they already were looking at houses here because my dad started working at KU.

• Speaker #0

  Okay.

• Speaker #1

  And then. And then after that, I had a great childhood. I knew I was adopted because my parents were white. So I didn't have any confusion growing up. And I just let that let it happen. And then about two, three years ago, someone from the orphanage reached out to me on Instagram when I turned 18 on my birthday. And she sent me pictures of me when I was a kid. At the orphanage? Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen before. So like, imagine if you got a baby picture of you that I've never seen. before with by like a stranger almost um i knew who she was like i knew of her because i had pictures with her um but anyways we started talking i was like how do you know me like what like it was super creepy at first and she's like oh you should come visit um so a year later i went and actually visited them and stayed with them um so did you she was just like a friend yeah she just i thought she was just a friend from the orphanage or like had connections through me and we went there i went there by myself um i stayed with them and i think the weirdest part was when i first got there i went they greeted me and everything gave me a blessing and then um there's definitely a culture shock wait what do you mean they blessed you so they did like a whole like spiritual thing when i first when they first saw me so like she had flowers and then they put a i'm gonna say they did like a candle thing they like oh so like if i went to visit would they bless me too yeah they would yeah so they bless almost like a ritual oh like welcoming you know oh cool like you bring flowers here you know like to a new person's house or something but there you get blessed yeah i'm gonna start blessing people and they're like little like flakes on you and so it's very it's very i mean india is one of the most like spiritual uh-huh places in the world okay so she blessed you um yeah and then i walked into the um their house and i walked they led me to my room and there was a this is like a weird part they there was a baby picture of me on the wall there was a baby picture of you on their wall on their wall uh-huh and a picture of her like growing up like she had like her probably middle school high school picture you know how like we have like we show all of our pictures yeah but anyways yeah of the girl yeah the girl that texted me on instagram uh-huh um so i went in there i was like this is a little creepy that there's a baby picture of me on the wall so i got super like sussed out about it and it was fine and then i didn't think too much of it but then the next day um i like woke up and i just saw a baby picture of me i think i like fully like because i was like sleep deprived when i got there i was like this is so weird so i started trying to figure out more information about it.

• Speaker #0

  I would, if someone had a baby picture of me on their wall, I would straight up like walk out. I know. I would straight up be like, this is terrifying. Like, get me out of here.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. The only connection was she, the mom, her mom was a caregiver at the orphanage. Okay. And then, so time went by. I was there for a month. When did I go? In May? Yeah. I went in May for a month. And after that, I asked the girl who texted me on Instagram. uh like why is there a baby picture on the wall it's like oh wait how did you wait a month to ask why there was a baby no i was there my whole vacation was a month i probably waited like two weeks because i didn't know what to do because and most so my adoption was considered closed adoption so usually you're not like supposed to have any relative like connection to your orphanage or anyone in it or anything or your parents um so we were there for i was there for a month and two weeks go by i Okay. asked her if she wanted to take a dna test with me so her and i i didn't tell her mom yet um took a dna test the doctor came back to us a week later said that we were blood related we were half siblings we shared the same mom which means her mom that i was staying with yeah was my mom okay wait i didn't know why did you why didn't you just ask like are we related she didn't she doesn't she didn't know either she didn't know either she just knew she had a very strong connection to me at the orphanage because she would come visit me and play games with me at orphanage And her mom was a caregiver there.

• Speaker #0

  So was she not confused why there was a baby picture of you on the wall?

• Speaker #1

  She just thought that my, like her mom just had a close connection to me because I was her favorite kid. And even my adoptive parents were like, yeah, she was like very obsessed with you. She didn't want to let you go and all this.

• Speaker #0

  So did your parents know that that was your mom?

• Speaker #1

  No, no one knew. So that was when I first found out she was my birth mom.

• Speaker #0

  So how did you go from, so you and what's your sister's name again?

• Speaker #1

  Rasika.

• Speaker #0

  Rasika? Yeah. So you and Rasika figured out that you were siblings?

• Speaker #1

  Half siblings.

• Speaker #0

  Half siblings. And then you were like, who is this woman? No,

• Speaker #1

  she was our mom. So she's older than me.

• Speaker #0

  Rasika?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, she's 27. She just got married. And her, so let's see, how do I explain this in the best way? So I came in, they're both strangers to me. I found out two weeks later while I was there, because Rasika and I took a DNA test, that she was our mom. And we had... different dads okay and that's how i found out but i didn't confront her about her being my mom uh-huh until i came back in august why i didn't know how to like how do you like go up and say are you my mom like how does that even like how would you like it's just like a straight like you could mess up so many things like their life like in general you know yeah so i brought it up to her in august when i went back and visited them again how did that conversation go it went well she she wouldn't tell me so she didn't speak very good english um It was fine. Like one of her, uh, my sister's friends like translated for us. Um, but she wouldn't tell me too much information. She says she couldn't tell me because you're not supposed to know your birth parents. Um, after you're adopted in India,

• Speaker #0

  almost all of them consider closed adoption.

• Speaker #1

  It's just a religious thing, I think. And it's also the fact that a lot of people get pregnant there without wanting to be pregnant or just mistakes or whatever it is. And then, uh, and if I go back and try to find them and they're married with other kids, and like have a family of their own it kind of messes up their family because imagine if you're married and have kids and then you find out 18 years later that you had another kid with someone else and like you know wow and then so what did she end up saying um she just basically said that she couldn't she didn't want to tell me and she didn't want to ruin like the chance of getting to know because she didn't know i was going to react to finding out and like rebel against her but i had no like rebellion against her did you ever find out anything did

• Speaker #0

  you ever figure out like later on. Why you ended up being put up for adoption?

• Speaker #1

  Because she had me with a different partner during that time. And it's very looked down upon when you have another partner.

• Speaker #0

  So why did she keep Rasika?

• Speaker #1

  Because she was married to this guy. Oh,

• Speaker #0

  I see.

• Speaker #1

  But she had me with a different partner.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, but that's why she stayed at the orphanage because she still wanted to be close to you?

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. But she's been working there. She still works there.

• Speaker #0

  Really? So did you go back to the orphanage?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. So I went back to the orphanage. Everyone knew who I was when I stepped in. That's so cool. Which I think is crazy because I was... five six yeah and now all of a sudden like was i 21 when i went and Yeah, I just, they knew who I was and it was great.

• Speaker #0

  Do you think you'll get married in India?

• Speaker #1

  Maybe I'll have a wedding in India, but I don't think I'll get, like, what do you mean? Will I get married in India? I guess,

• Speaker #0

  like, would you have your wedding in India?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, I think I would have one wedding in India.

• Speaker #0

  One wedding? You're going to have multiple?

• Speaker #1

  One in Italy and one here.

• Speaker #0

  Okay.

• Speaker #1

  I don't know how many people are going to be able to travel to India.

• Speaker #0

  Where am I going to have my wedding then? I need two weddings. Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  weddings.

• Speaker #0

  I have to have two weddings now to keep up with Canuck apparently. I'm going to have one in Hawaii and then I don't know. I haven't thought about this. I guess it depends on who I marry. But if they don't even want to have two weddings.

• Speaker #1

  Maybe Iceland.

• Speaker #0

  No, Iceland's too cold.

• Speaker #1

  Loved Iceland. Why not?

• Speaker #0

  But too cold. No,

• Speaker #1

  I'm just kidding. Not Iceland. Maybe Italy. I feel like somewhere in like Spain would be cool.

• Speaker #0

  like off the coast somewhere in bali i don't know i should probably get a husband or a fiance first before i start planning my wedding it's probably a good idea let's start and i have a really bad it's really let's get to the boyfriend stuff first it's so hard though because anytime i'm on pinterest it's like all these super nice engagement rings and then i save them because i'm like this is a really nice engagement ring and then my pinterest thinks i'm trying to get married so then it starts sending me all these like marriage photos and wedding dresses and then I'm like that's really pretty and then I save it and it's like this cycle so if you open my pinterest right now you're probably going to see a ton of overly priced engagement rings and wedding destinations I know but thinking of weddings I went to my sister's wedding in India in December but

• Speaker #1

  it was very weird because uh no one else could knew no one else could know in the family that I was their son Uh-huh. So I did like at some points in the wedding, I had to hide like and I had to hide like they had these changing room stuff like I had to hide in it because I couldn't be present in front of other family members thinking like, who am I? Like, I look so I looked out of place, to be honest, like I look like.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  I was like, no, like one of those like ceremony parts. I like like kind of fucked it up. And I don't know what I was supposed to do. And I was like, what is this? Probably like six, seven hundred people there. oh my gosh i don't even think i've talked to six or seven hundred people yeah but like indian weddings are just like that like a friend of a friend it's like gosh it's like your producer coming to my wedding but like it's just like her friends kate you want to go to his wedding with me she'll be my plus one there you go and

• Speaker #0

  then she's gonna bring a plus one that's how it works and our dogs will bring the dogs too might as well just rent a villa you get your dog park friends too all my dog park friends i love my dog park friends they're so fun I think I'm going to see them tonight.

• Speaker #1

  That's just like how it is. And so that's.

• Speaker #0

  How did your parents, like your adoptive parents, how did they react to all this?

• Speaker #1

  I mean, they've always been supportive. Yeah. No matter what. But I think they were just happy for me and like learning more about my culture and like where I was from. I still want to go with them at some point.

• Speaker #0

  I think it would be really hard, though, knowing that like.

• Speaker #1

  I don't know. I think my mom, I think, no, they'd be fine. It would be emotional for sure. But. yeah i'm shocked we haven't all planned a trip to go there um yeah but hopefully soon they'll want to go how did they find you um they went through an adoption agency it's basically shopping so anyone listening it is i'll tell you exactly how it is okay tell me so you go on you go through a travel agency probably like you basically give them preferences on where you want to adopt from like it's like filters you know really like so they chose india yeah so they chose asia i don't think they had a specific place in mind but um they they show you a picture of the kid and then they show you the age high everything like any like disabilities anything um that pertains to you medical history all that and then um you can basically favorite it basically put it in like it's like you can write it down you could like save it you could tell them uh-huh but yeah anyways my apparently my uh my mom liked my baby picture face so Oh, and then that's how she saved it.

• Speaker #0

  Was your name Canuck?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have a last name or anything.

• Speaker #0

  Really?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. Not my passport.

• Speaker #0

  What about your passport?

• Speaker #1

  You know, my pictures are like me with passports. How many? This is why I don't. This is why you don't have social media anymore.

• Speaker #0

  I know I don't have social media anymore. For obvious reasons for the mental health and my well-being. It's hard for me to get on social media. So no, I don't see your passport photos, but tell me all about my passport.

• Speaker #1

  That's unfortunate.

• Speaker #0

  Tell me all about your passport. You're not going to get the context then. Kate would love to hear about your passport photos.

• Speaker #1

  Kate, would you like to hear about my passport photos?

• Speaker #0

  Okay, tell her about your passport photos.

• Speaker #1

  You've definitely seen them. You did. I took one. We just went outside.

• Speaker #0

  I know what you're talking about.

• Speaker #1

  Anyways, it started like three years ago. I was in Paris and I was visiting my friends there and I went to the club with my driver's license. my California driver's license and they wouldn't accept it. And so then I had to run back to the apartment, go get my passport. It took like 35 minutes because the train was all delayed and stuff. Came back. The guy like thought my passport was fake. He's like, where'd you get this from? I was like, it's a legit passport. Like, I don't know how else to tell you. You want to go to the airport and scan it in? Yeah, wait. You want me to go through TSA? You guys be like,

• Speaker #0

  I did get here.

• Speaker #1

  And then, so I didn't have pockets. So I was just holding my. uh passport in my hand and then people were like why do you have your passport in your hand and then people kept asking to take pictures with it so then now why would they take photos because no one brings a passport to a club that's not like a typical thing people do and then um and then just started becoming a thing so i remember i travel places i just take pictures oh that makes sense

• Speaker #0

  every club in barcode because it's like all the way last summer we went to paris it was me my boyfriend and his girlfriend and can i could Had some drinks and he was dancing with his passport.

• Speaker #1

  You have to explain the club setting though, because it's like five stories.

• Speaker #0

  It was like five stories. It was like this giant club and we were like on the very top and below on the dance floor. It was just crowded with people like everywhere. One person next to another. Like if you dropped anything, it would be gone.

• Speaker #1

  Think of a mosh pit.

• Speaker #0

  And Canuck is literally dancing around. He's had a few drinks, holding his passport.

• Speaker #1

  I don't know why.

• Speaker #0

  He swings it and it flies over. The railing, but it got stuck. Do you remember that? Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  it got stuck in between a little gap. So it was like a railing. And it got stuck.

• Speaker #0

  So it didn't fall all the way down. But my boyfriend had to hold Canuck so that Canuck could literally reach down and pull his passport out of this mini tiny crack in this club in Paris.

• Speaker #1

  If Aiden dropped me, because I was over the edge.

• Speaker #0

  Aiden should have dropped you. I should have told him to.

• Speaker #1

  I would not be here today.

• Speaker #0

  Drop him! Now that passport has gone a lot of places.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, I don't know. Expires soon.

• Speaker #0

  it's kind of sad it expires soon yeah i need to go get a new one oh i have to get my new driver's license my driver's license expires on my birthday you're talking about the benedictine story with your driver's license oh my gosh this is a good story so i don't even know where to start i know so when kanak went to benedictine he yeah he was it was his semester benedictine and since benedictine's only what like an hour and a half away from here an hour yeah i would i went to visit him and um At the time, him and his roommate, his roommate and I were talking. So I went to visit them, but it's a super Catholic college. So you're not really supposed to have people, girls over.

• Speaker #1

  Over a certain time.

• Speaker #0

  It was like past like 10. And I was like, it'll be fine. Like we can, I'll be quiet. It'll be great. I'll sleep on your beanbag. Like all will be well. And so Aiden and Kanak agreed. They were like, okay, like we'll just be sneaky about it. So I was in their dorm. It was like, what, like midnight, one in the morning. And someone made me laugh. I don't know who it is.

• Speaker #1

  I'm pretty sure it was Aiden.

• Speaker #0

  It was probably Aiden. And I think they both forgot that I literally cannot laugh quietly. And if you've ever listened to this podcast, there are some episodes where I literally break the sound barrier with my laugh. Like it is so loud. So I started laughing. And the moment I laughed, I was like, oh, no, I'm so screwed. And I don't know, a couple of minutes later, we hear a knock at the door. and we all freeze and Canucks like get in that corner, get in that corner over there.

• Speaker #1

  It was like behind the bunk, like the bed.

• Speaker #0

  It was like, it was like between the beds and the desk. And he, I, he throws me on the ground, throws like four blankets over me. And in my head, I'm like, what the heck is going on? The guy opens the door. He's like, um, so where's the girl? And Canuck is straight up like, there's no girl. And the guy's like, I heard a girl laughing. Kanak was like, well, you heard wrong. There's no girl in here. And he was like, well, can I come in? And Kanak was like, no. And Aiden was like, no, yeah, you can come in. And the guy was walking around and he pauses. Kanak and Aiden I know are just like shatting bricks. And he walks in and he goes, can the young lady whose toes are sticking out of the blanket in the corner please come out? And I was literally humiliated. I came out and he took my ID from me to like put me on file. And he made me drive home at two in the morning.

• Speaker #1

  He fined us too.

• Speaker #0

  He fined you. Oh, that's right.

• Speaker #1

  He did fine you. 75 each, Aiden and I.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, but Aiden worked it off and you literally used my parents' money. Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  because I wasn't going to. No, but to be fair, to be fair, I did drive back with you.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, yes, you did drive back with me. So that was good.

• Speaker #1

  And the guy thought it was a fake ID. He did think it was a fake.

• Speaker #0

  That's why he was like, I've never seen Hawaii ID. Like, is this fake? And I was like, no, it's real. I was like, first of all, if you're going to kick me out, write the ID down and let me go home because it's one in the morning. Like, stop trying to tell me it's a fake. but i'm pretty sure i'm still on probation and not probation what is it called when you like can't visit a place yeah banned i don't know i don't think i'm banned from benedictine but i think what do you get like three chances like what if i got kicked out again you don't go to school there so it doesn't matter i have no desire to ever go back to that 60 mile radius of the school i will never go back to that campus yeah neither neither by that's why i left i know oh can i do you like to swim no not really i don't get in the water i never get in the water actually in canada laguna cannot came to visit me when i lived in hawaii and i don't know i was like i'm gonna take you snorkeling like that's a great thing so i take him to this beach and he puts on all his snorkel gear and he's literally standing there like in his flippers in his mask with his snorkel and he just stares out in the water and i'm like uh cannot and he looks at me with all his gear on and he's like are there fish in here? I was like... yes kanaka's the ocean there are fish in here and he goes i don't like fish i don't think i want to go in and i was like get your butt in the water right now no but the first thing i saw was a little turtle i lost and i left i was like i can't do this wait did you see the turtle in the water yes and then you said no i can't do this i remember you not being in there very long but i couldn't do it not a not a turtle guy not a fish guy either no i'm proud of you for trying though yeah i could not you wouldn't have tried though if i wouldn't have made you yeah i probably would Do you remember when he tried to surf?

• Speaker #1

  That was not good either.

• Speaker #0

  That was not good.

• Speaker #1

  I'm not very water activity.

• Speaker #0

  But I guess you didn't really like grow up around the water, really.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, we grew up here.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, okay. I grew up here and I grew up around the water. I love swimming. I'm a little fishy.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, yeah. You'll put in the back. Play mermaid.

• Speaker #0

  I love playing mermaid. What color is your tail?

• Speaker #1

  What?

• Speaker #0

  What color is your mermaid tail?

• Speaker #1

  But what does it determine? What color is it?

• Speaker #0

  Just tell me what color is your mermaid tail?

• Speaker #1

  It would be blue.

• Speaker #0

  he's a

• Speaker #1

  blue no way i'm a purple someone that like judges you based off of your sign you're joking you're blue you really blue blue yeah i'm just kidding i don't there's nothing you know how people you know how people judge you based off of your birth uh like sagittarius oh they're like what are you i'm a sag guess that i am oh gosh it could be multiple things no no i don't know i'm a libra

• Speaker #0

  I don't know what that means.

• Speaker #1

  I don't know any of what they mean.

• Speaker #0

  I don't either. I asked me one thing about being a Libra and someone told me that I'm good with balance and I was like, I suck at balance.

• Speaker #1

  I don't know what you're talking about. No, that's how people use to determine if they want to like talk to someone now.

• Speaker #0

  Really?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. At least in California, they're like, what's your sign within the like first two minutes? I'm like,

• Speaker #0

  Saj, I don't want to talk to you. What's Trudy's sign?

• Speaker #1

  Actually, I don't know. Her birthday is September

• Speaker #0

  21st. I'm September 25th, so she might be a Libra. Let me look up.

• Speaker #1

  really quick libra september she has that one song do you remember oh yeah it's funny she's a virgo a virgo virgo i don't know how it switches that fast though what are you sagittarius yeah compatibility

• Speaker #0

  yeah check our compatibility virgo and sagittarius compatibility is often seen as challenging due to their different i can't speak Due to their differing approaches to life, with Virgo being more grounded and detail-oriented, while Sagittarius is more adventurous and spontaneous. I'm super into that. While their core differences can lead to conflict, they can also complement each other and foster growth. The only things like that that I really believe in are like the Enneagram, like personality tests.

• Speaker #1

  I don't even believe those. I did all those in high school and I was like, what is this? Really? Don't even become a teacher.

• Speaker #0

  No, not that. I'm saying like, do you know what the Enneagram is? No. Where like you figure out what number you are. based on take it i want to know what you are actually we'll take it later okay taken it's like a test like take it so before we like wrap up i just have a little question for you and all of your life experience and what you've done and where you've been but what advice would you give someone who feels like they maybe lack a purpose right now or they they maybe haven't found that purpose yet i feel like i the best advice i would give like i used to feel like i didn't have

• Speaker #1

  much purpose like out of high school or like even in high school because I was just everything seemed super repetitive and then that's another reason why I decided to move was because it gave me more purpose and like seeing different perspectives. I feel like the biggest thing was being very spontaneous and doing things you like to do. I feel like that helps you find purpose and then that leads to like a job or like even just friends and connections so that's probably the best advice I'd give to someone. They don't know what to do is try to find groups.

• Speaker #0

  that have like all the same common interests um and then find more purpose in what you want to do with it so finding people and things you love and figuring out how you can just be okay with it you don't need to be rich that's kind of the last podcast episode we did that's kind of what he was talking about he was like write down the things that like you love and then figure out how you can turn that into like your purpose or your passion or your job i feel like helping people do something about like helping people yeah travel do something with traveling you know do something yeah i like i still feel like i'm still lost to this day but like it's like that's like it comes together though as i'm saying i felt like i've i've felt lost my whole entire life but also like looking back in my life i was never lost like exactly it's all led me to where i am now i was never lost maybe i felt lost sometimes i feel lost right now but it's like it's all happening for a reason i'm i am where i am right now because that's where i'm supposed to be exactly yeah so just probably doing things you enjoy and i am very spontaneous and i'll always be spontaneous i know i know you're very spontaneous i'm a little too spontaneous i think i need to tone down this the spot is it spontaneity spontaneity spontaneity is that the right word i think so i need to just tone it down a little sometimes i cannot literally drive to california within a week

• Speaker #1

  And then come again for a while. Well, you're going to Hawaii.

• Speaker #0

  I am going to Hawaii in two weeks. Less than two weeks. So that was a little spontaneous.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, but you enjoy it. See, now you don't feel lost with the purpose. You're doing something you want to go. Like you're going there.

• Speaker #0

  Exactly. Now all I have to do is find a boyfriend. A big girl. A boyfriend.

• Speaker #1

  For everyone out there, she's single. I lost my train of thought.

• Speaker #0

  I forgot because you just reminded me that I'm... painfully single hawaii boyfriend she needs those two things in life a hawaii and a boyfriend yeah that's where you wanna get married you said yeah yeah there you go maybe though i don't know remember i have to have three weddings and i should probably take that up with my future fiance boyfriend well that concludes our episode thank you again kanaka michael my little baby coconut for coming on and letting me it Ask you all these questions about your childhood and your life and our friendship. And I'm really glad that you flew in from California just to do this.

• Speaker #1

  Totally. Totally. It's my only objective.

• Speaker #0

  Just to do this and see your family. Yes, there you go. But mainly because you wanted to do this. Oh,

• Speaker #1

  100%.

• Speaker #0

  And I.

• Speaker #1

  I'm a busy guy.

• Speaker #0

  Yes, very busy. I look forward to talking with you in the future. And yeah, what else are you going to do before you leave?

• Speaker #1

  I leave tomorrow, so. Oh, not much. Going to get some Indian food tonight.

• Speaker #2

  oh yeah get me some parents okay love you bye thanks for listening to today's episode of stop wasting your life we hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose intention and authenticity if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to leave us a good review give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter For more information, go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week.