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speaking with lexi who faces body shame

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Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Welcome to the motherfucking show where we talk about everything real conversations, learn, grow.

• Speaker #1

  and prosper what's up guys this is the realness lounge podcast and we are back it is a new year and that means new episodes every single wednesday now for this episode we are actually talking about plus size woman confidence and also body shaming as well so for my next guest i have somebody her video hit 3.0 million views just by posting this also comes with the good comes with the bad please help me welcome plus size jessica rabbit hey hi guys so of course you know you wanted to be the plus size influencer so tell us a little bit more about what made you want to obviously you know that video we post videos we have no idea what to expect What happened with that video?

• Speaker #0

  So I think that we posted that video in retrospective just to really have fun, not necessarily for views. And then from that video came tremendous amounts of hate comments, tremendous amounts of positivity. And just, you know, it comes with its good and bad.

• Speaker #1

  Right. Yeah, it comes with good and bad. So, of course, like you wanted to you feel like plus size woman. They don't get enough credit. Right. Why do you feel like it's important for us to take?

• Speaker #0

  recognition for plus size women because if a skinny girl did it they would get recognition right yeah that's true if a plus size girl does it it's like we're looking for attention but why is it any different because we're showing more skin right body looks different right so i mean ultimately you know we're putting on for the plus size girls to say that hey it's okay if a skinny girl can do it we can do it so being a plus size woman influencer right now you want to influence others you're mentoring right tell me about what

• Speaker #1

  made you want to start mentoring?

• Speaker #0

  So I have daughters and you know my oldest daughter she experienced bullying in school so I kind of made it my goal to really like kind of put on that like positive you know perspective as a plus-size girl to show my daughters like hey it's okay. So I mean it really started at home before it ever started with my friends and then from there it just really kind of developed into hey I'm gonna have this friend base of girls that that also want to be super confident. They also want to put on for the other plus size women and represent. And then from that, we built plus size influencers. Right.

• Speaker #1

  So, so of course, when it comes to these situations, being bullied, obviously bullying really does take a toll on self-esteem. Were you ever in a point where you were being bullied just like your daughter? And when she told you that, did it kind of hit your heart? Kind of like an inner child wound that you never really healed from?

• Speaker #0

  Of course I got bullied. I mean, what person didn't, you know, I. Definitely got bullied. I got called thunder thighs and you know you get called comments in school called cow and things like that. So yeah I definitely did get bullied and I would say you know a big eye opener is when my daughter started at the YMCA and I went there to pick her up. And then the next day she told me hey mommy that little boy called you a cow. And I was like whoa this is a this is a five year old.

• Speaker #1

  Right.

• Speaker #0

  Like wow this is a five year old.

• Speaker #1

  Let me meet your mama.

• Speaker #0

  Literally like where is your mother at. And it's just like it really does start that young. for adolescents bullying because realistically that five-year-old's not normally saying that they're probably learning that at home yeah maybe from their mom who's not confident or their dad that's not confident so it's like you have to put on that you have to put on that strong persona for your kids so that way when they get out into the world they're not being bullies yeah yeah and i feel like a lot of parents they never really teach their child about bullying and then it comes

• Speaker #1

  to you and then you're just like where your mama at so if you're watching this right now she's trying to fight you yeah where your mom at where your mama at No, I'm just kidding. But obviously, you know, when it comes to these situations with being bullied with your sister, with your daughter coming to you and you're just like, OK, well, I want you to be more confident in yourself. So let me put on for you and show you what confidence is really about, because confidence is really key when it comes to anything you do in life, whether it's you're a skinny girl, whether it's your big girl. You know what I'm saying? It's like it's a lot of things that you have to take in consideration when it comes to presenting yourself. Right. Do you feel like, you know, you teach your daughter to as well as confidence is key. if you're you know obviously everybody has something to say when it comes to people getting bbls and what they do with their body personally i feel like if you got your body and you want whatever you want to do with it i don't give a fuck what you want to do because it's your body you know i've seen some hot women with some bbls i've seen some hot women you know plus size women you know it's like i just feel like people have so much to say but it's like it's not even your body so why say it it's just and it's not even to come for anybody it's more just like it's not even your body so you know what i'm saying like People want to live their body that certain way, okay, you can keep your opinion, but like... some of these shit i feel like social media can be so toxic Social media is a little bit toxic. Because then, you know, you post things and then, of course, you got 3.0 millions. But what's good comes with bad. So tell us about the comments that you received. So,

• Speaker #0

  you know, when the video first started going viral, because like we posted it, not really expecting it to go viral. It hit like, you know, 500K and we were like, OK, the video is actually going to start going viral now. And then, bam, the comments came, you know, and oh, Burger King or McDonald's. Oh, Santa's sleigh couldn't pull you guys. know things of this are super just really hurtful stuff um but they're just projecting their ugliness yeah out you know these are people that feel insecure with themselves so they're jumping on a random person's social media trying to knock other women down when i just we just came out of a photo shoot for plus size positivity right so you were trying to encourage positivity literally and then for the beginning like i was deleting the comments like at the beginning i was deleting them because i didn't because even though i'm confident and i can deal with the backlash maybe my friends can't you know what i mean maybe maybe other people can't. So I was deleting it, but then it was like, I couldn't delete. I can't sit there and delete thousands of comments. Yeah. So then like, I had to kind of have a talk with my team and I had to like, kind of reel it in with my team about, you know, kind of why we're doing this and like our mission here. And like, even though it's really hard to see that kind of stuff, like this is literally why we're doing this to change the perspective. Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Like what you stated, like, you know, obviously social media can hurt. Like, I mean, I know words on the screen, you know, is people look at it like, Oh, they're just commenting. But it's like, I feel like if you're really feeling maybe deep inside insecure by yourself and then somebody's over here saying all these hurtful things, it's like, damn, like it really does hurt. And you're not the only one like Selena Gomez. She silenced her comments. A lot of these celebrities, Kim Kardashian, she silenced her comments, but it's for a purpose because they don't want to see negative things. Nobody wants to be told negative things because words do hurt. Like I really do believe words hurt. I mean, if you're watching this right now and let's say you post something and then somebody just said negative shit about you. Of course, words hurt. So how do you deal on, you gotta have a team with your, you know, a meeting with your team. How did you guys deal with that hurt that came with your TikTok? Um,

• Speaker #0

  if I'm being honest, we smoked some blends and we laughed over it. I'm like, period. I mean, realistically, like, you know, we know we're bad. You know what I mean? It doesn't matter if other people don't think that we are, we're still making a difference. Every single photo shoot that I do, it gets major recognition, major clout. Um, you know, it. It puts these women in opportunities to win as well. So like, while you guys are sitting there like behind the screens of a camera, like we're actually over here making like really big business moves. And I mean, you're not going to get to the top without some haters. Yeah. So like, that's true. You know, maybe some people in the team kind of handled it differently. But for me, like, girl, bye. Okay. I just kept on scrolling. Like, I don't have time for that. I feel like a lot of women,

• Speaker #1

  they do struggle with weight. And it's like, it's like, okay, I'm too skinny or I'm too fat or I'm too this. It's like, and it's hard. Because also body standards and body shaming and all these, you know, negative things that a lot of girls have to deal with all the time. I mean, I feel like as a woman, too, you feel like your body should look a certain way. For sure. But then here you are saying your body is beautiful just the way it is. Keep doing you. You know, I feel like it's strong for you to even, you know, encourage that. Because in a world where women feel so insecure and feel like, oh, my body's not good, so I'm just going to wear this big sweater. Right. My body's not good, so I'm just going to. not date or these guys don't like me because I'm fat. It's like your personality has a, I mean, it doesn't matter about the looks. It really does matter on the personality. The energy.

• Speaker #0

  What do you It's the energy. I literally just made a Facebook post about this. It doesn't matter if you're in a trash bag. I came up here and I put on a nice little bodysuit and some pants, but if I would have came in here in a trash bag, as long as my energy was over the top, I was confident. It doesn't matter what I wear. It doesn't matter how my hair looks. It's really about that, how you really feel. Well, like underneath all that and the energy that you bring to the table. So, you know, I don't I don't I think that me overall, like my energy is going to shine through before anything else. And then from that, everything else will follow.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And it has been right. So obviously you got the bad comments about the good comments. You know,

• Speaker #0

  we got so much good comments. And not only that, there was people that stitched our video that redid our little dance. And that that to me felt like a victory, to be honest. I'm honest with you because to even get that type of recognition where people are stopping what they're doing to stitch a video for body positivity when you're getting all this hate, like you literally feel like you're making a difference in people's life. You know what I mean? Like that's how like successful that feels. And it's not even about the monetary gain of the thing. You know what I mean? It's not about that. It's more about, wow, they took the time out of their day to stitch a video because that's how confident they felt. based on what we did that we inspired someone. Wow. Yeah. You inspired somebody.

• Speaker #1

  Inspired people.

• Speaker #0

  So those good comments, like I felt inspired to keep doing what I'm doing. So if anybody's watching this,

• Speaker #1

  let's say right now they're watching this. They feel like they're fat. They can't get anybody to date them. They're struggling. Their bodies look a certain way. They feel like they're getting bigger. I mean, what advice would you have for those women who are struggling with their body weight? I mean, there might be every single woman who's watching this, but what would you give to them? Because obviously it takes a lot for them to be like, oh, you know. I feel like I'm fat. He doesn't like me because I'm fat. Like usually if, you know, if a guy doesn't like you, your ultimatum is, I mean, it's kind of big, right? Right. Inside, inside of your head. And then, but what would you say to those girls who are dealing with those kinds of thoughts? Work on personal development,

• Speaker #0

  to be quite honest. Um, you can think wonderful things about yourself and people can think the worst about you. But when you sit there and you actually like take the time to do personal development and really work on yourself, like you're initially going to just let those. comments roll off of your back yeah um and over time through personal development i mean in all reality you're gonna feel sexier you're gonna feel more confident right it's gonna be a big wake-up call right because you have all these things that are going on that are making you feel like okay you know what even though all this is going on i'm still working on myself i'm trying to get to the top and you might be a chunky girl and you might be feeling super insecure that's fine okay well now i'm working out okay so that you're changing your you're reprogramming your mind okay i'm a chunky girl i'm working out the you're starting starting to feel confident you're starting to make those steps and I feel like also too it's like anytime like you hear that somebody is like promoting plus size positivity you're promoting obesity that's not what we're doing here you know what I mean like you can still be a plus size girl and work out and stuff so it's like I agree it's crazy like you can still be a plus size girl and work out and have all these like dreams and goals and about how you want to look yeah just have that mindset have the mindset of you know even though

• Speaker #1

  I feel this way what am I doing to change my body right Yeah, you can be plus size and you can work out. I love how you said that. You can work out at the gym. If y'all feeling plus size and you don't like it, then go work out. You know, EOS, I know it's either this point, I know Planet Fit is doing dollar. Right. Don't get them hot Cheetos. Go ahead and sign up for the gym, you know? So it's like, I love how she said that, you know, like some people might not feel that confident in that plus size and that's okay. But what are you doing to change what you're not seeing? You're not seeing, you know, if a guy's not seeing muscle. okay well he needs to go work out and getting that muscle right but it's like but for people who are plus size women they are confident and i did see a lot of your friends if you want to give them a shout out and who are who are those women on the video so you know number one in the front line with me is going to be tasha tasha

• Speaker #0

  tasha boo all right we're super close you know and i'm really really proud of her i will i want to give big shout outs to her like she has came such a long way shout out to you tasha you know we got rita in there we got right and then there you know we got cheve we got britney we got jordy jordy um the whole team even the girls that are not in that video are wonderful people and they have came such a long way from us being friends in the last seven months i mean that's where my journey started was

• Speaker #1

  seven eight months ago wow yeah what happened in that journey when you wanted to start this like obviously you did it for your daughter but what happened during that journey I blew up.

• Speaker #0

  I got the recognition I think I always wanted and I manifested. I'm big about I'm big about manifestation. I agree. Because when I first started on TikTok specifically I was like I want to blow up. I want to be a big content creator. This was a couple years ago. I've already had two page bans and this is my third page. So like I wanted to blow up but like what did I want to blow up for though? Because everybody blows up on social media for something different. Like different reasons. Different reasons.

• Speaker #1

  It could be a dumb video.

• Speaker #0

  They're still going to blow up. Yeah. You know what I mean? I want to make a difference.

• Speaker #1

  difference though i like that you want to make a difference for all the plus size women who are feeling low who are obviously not feeling their best right and then of course you also want to mentor them which is great for sure who else were the other ladies with you so i'm like let me can i pull up my phone yeah well while she's doing that let's roll the clip uh we're gonna roll the clip right now this will be of uh them actually dancing so we'll roll it

• Speaker #0

  yeah we're real okay yeah so I mean that's them you know we have we got Tasha we got Jordi we got Rita Jordi Rita Chave Reina Reina um we have Marissa my baby Marissa shout out to all you guys all you guys are great women and I'm very proud of you and I you know we have huddles at the end of every single one of our photo shoots and at the beginning and yeah you know we have little events and I do break it down to them and tell them I'm very proud of you guys because I'm making a difference. And now you guys are making a difference. That photographer that really,

• Speaker #1

  she really did. Megan.

• Speaker #0

  Megan, Megan from Arizona.

• Speaker #1

  Megan Gerloff. You guys will have,

• Speaker #0

  I tag her in every single one of our stuff. Definitely tap in. Megan She did really good on those photo shoots.

• Speaker #1

  Do you feel like it's important for a photographer to make you feel comfortable when it comes to taking those photos? How was she gassing you up or what was she doing? Because obviously those photos had a lot more sexiness going on. There was a lot of sexual appeal to them. So one thing about her,

• Speaker #0

  she is. She's extremely professional. Not only is she a photographer, she's a teacher. But she is just always down for my crazy ideas. Man. And every single month I come to her with a new idea. And like at first, you know, I was kind of like, because I'm a lot, I'm extra. And she cannot. And the photographer, you know, she's not like that. So like I kind of got nervous. And then when we did our first photo shoot, which actually was our lingerie photo shoot in front of a pool. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• Speaker #1

  After that, I was like,

• Speaker #0

  she's locked in with us forever because she was hitting angles. And as a plus size girl, like those angles are very, very important. Yeah. Because if the picture isn't taken correctly, I mean, I can go from looking like this to going to look like I just gained 300 extra pounds on top of my pounds. So it's like those angles are just super important. And not only that, she promotes us on her social media. Right. So, I mean, you know, sometimes you have photographers that are scared to promote plus size women or they're scared of that kind of.

• Speaker #1

  backlash and she isn't why do you feel like they're scared like i wonder why uh you know everybody cares what society thinks society i don't go yeah but that's the thing society limits you from so much things but when you're trying to push that when you're gonna push society and say all right fuck what y'all heard i'm gonna do what i want to do there's so much pressure and not even just for plus-sized women there's there's like pressure when it comes to being uh you're supposed to be married by 30 right you're supposed to to have your life together by 30 if you're not doing it you're not doing it right it's like that's that's so toxic because it's like we don't know what people want for themselves they might not want marriage they might not want that but i mean honestly on this show we say fuck society and what they about because like we don't i don't got time for it society and shit like i'm not about following the status quo you're all about breaking it from what i'm hearing but also from what you're representing so when it came

• Speaker #0

  to that photographer you know she really did a good job in executing the vision that you had was that the vision that you want yeah she she she definitely like captured my vision perfectly yeah and literally every single month I just sent her a Facebook message like for instance we just planned our January shoot and our January shoot we're giving something different we're not going to be giving sexy we're going to be giving professional and it's like I had to talk that with her and I literally just texted her like look theme outfit put it together for me and she put it together and like just every time she executes and that's important yeah as a creator she executes to create the vision that you want and think about how you want the vision to even be so create that vision to execute it sounds like she definitely knows so follow her socials yes give her socials yeah she has um you guys definitely want to tap in with her on tiktok you guys can find her like linked on some of my videos on her facebook it's going to be megan gerhoff budar and then she has regular photography as well um tap in with me and i'll definitely Get you guys lined up with her for sure. What are your goals for 2023?

• Speaker #1

  So for 2023,

• Speaker #0

  we have a bunch of goals. Number one, the influencers are going to take over. We're doing a photo shoot every single month like we did for the last seven months. We're going to compile that into a calendar. Now we're talking monetary gain on this, though, for not even just myself, for these other women, too. And more exposure in cloud as well. Not only that, I'm also about to do my own podcast. So that's going to be a big thing. And we're going to call that influence her talk. Talk. Me and Tasha. Wow. Yeah. So we're going to co-host and bring the girls on and give them that platform. Right. And then not only that, I have a plus size website coming out. Oh, not even just plus size for regular to regular. I feel like I always just kind of drive hard for the plus size, but it's going to be for both realistically as well. So, you know, a lot of times, like a lot of the stuff that I wear, people are like, where'd you get that from? How could you wear that? Like, how could you like be so confident to wear that and stuff? So we're going to drop all those like insiders. the clothing and the lingerie directly for our for our people lingerie lingerie clothing two-piece sets dresses valentine's day fix yes anything and then speaking long-term goals we're trying to open a space called um you know house of confidence which realistically like is a space that we want to open for other women to come and get mentoring done maybe do photo shoots there um we kind of have a setup you know where they can come and do photo shoots mentoring We can come and do like our little Zoom meetings that we're about to start doing. I do like some little Zoom meeting check-ins with them, or at least I want to start. so like really just kind of for those plus size women that really do want to make a difference It sounds like, you know, you're very passionate when it comes to plus size.

• Speaker #1

  And I know your daughter is now watching you, which we saw you get 3.0 million. I wonder how she reacted. So my oldest daughter, like,

• Speaker #0

  I don't tell them that I have a big social media following. Because. They don't want to do TikToks with you. Yes.

• Speaker #1

  And then they have did TikToks and I've had to tell them to take it down.

• Speaker #0

  Because TikTok is a grown up world, period. I mean, it just is. It's for grown ups. And for sure. And one day we were like. Like in the car, we were waiting for the YMCA to open so I could take my little baby there. And I'm sitting in the front. She's right behind me and I'm on TikTok. And this was at the time I only had 11K followers. I have like 20, 22, 22.K followers now. And she was like, I could hear her behind me like, oh, my God, mommy, like you have 11K. We hadn't even did our video yet. And I was like, I was like, yeah. And then they're actually gone on winter break right now. They come back on Monday. So she actually has no idea I have this big video. three million oh my god i cannot wait to show it to her oh yeah 3.0

• Speaker #1

  3.0 million and when she sees that all her you know obviously all her friends are gonna be like oh she thinks i'm famous yeah she oh she thinks i'm a celebrity so when when you started getting that did you have random people just message you or obviously your friends say oh my gosh oh yeah i just saw you on the floor you page

• Speaker #0

  of course they come out the woodworks i had friends out of state literally facetiming me being like your video uh My friend just sent it to me like in a group text message. She's like, this is you and I'm like, I know So she's like back then you didn't want me.

• Speaker #1

  Now you want me trying to spin the block for me

• Speaker #0

  Literally Oh, yeah, all the people that bullied me in high school. They are constantly trying to spin the block Wow, don't even make me pull up the facebook messages because i'm gonna hurt somebody's relationships So so the people bullied you in high school and now they're obvious I mean,

• Speaker #1

  that's how it's like they on my dick Now they have been now they on her dick,

• Speaker #0

  right?

• Speaker #1

  So now they they're trying to spin the

• Speaker #0

  go another block but also when it comes to those you know situations of bullying what did they tell you back in high school oh you know um i don't want to be with a chunky girl or i mean it's really just kind of as simple as that you know like you're too fat for me Those are harsh words to hear. And I know it's like now we're older. Yeah, so now it's a different mindset. But when you're young,

• Speaker #1

  those are very harsh words to hear.

• Speaker #0

  Like, what? And then not only that, too, like, I dealt with a lot of, like, bullying in my family. Yeah. What were they telling you? You know, I had, like, specific people in my family that are really athletic. And, you know, you go downstairs, like, you know, get a snack. Why are you getting a snack? You just say, why do you need seconds? You know what I mean? Just really hurtful things. It starts in the family, like I just said. It does start in the family.

• Speaker #1

  So your family was actually the one. Oh, yeah. In a sense, bullied.

• Speaker #0

  Not even just me.

• Speaker #1

  They bullied my cousin. Bullied your cousin.

• Speaker #0

  Other people. So your family was the first one to say,

• Speaker #1

  you should be looking like this. You should be doing this. And that's the expectation. It's expectations, right? It's expectations of trying to meet them. And then when you don't feel like you're meeting them, you feel like you're failing. Right. And that's, I feel like that's a toxic. I mean, if you're watching this right now and you say your family put you through some expectations that you were supposed to meet. And you don't. I don't feel like you're meeting them. I just want to say, fuck them expectations. Because at the end of the day, it's all about what you want for yourself and what makes you happy at the end of the day. If you live life for yourself or for people, you're not really living for you, you're living for them. And that's toxic itself. And sometimes you've got to cut off your own family,

• Speaker #0

  to be honest. Yeah, I agree. Family can be very toxic.

• Speaker #1

  Family can be very toxic, very draining.

• Speaker #0

  And obviously cutting off family is hard to do for some people,

• Speaker #1

  but did you cut off your family for this? Yes. But to be honest,

• Speaker #0

  Be honest. I cut off my family when I was a teenager in my adolescence. As I got older, and you work on personal development, and you work on forgiving people for yourself, not forgiving for other people, they're just, again, projecting their own insecurities. That's it.

• Speaker #1

  What I feel like is very important for you is that you are an amazing person, like, amazing person and a great listener, and you're an amazing mom. Like, literally, what she's doing right now is she is literally making a statement for her daughter to say... It's okay for you to be this way. Because a lot of these parents are not accepting what their child wants to be. But you are growing up. But I feel like the reason why you're doing this is because growing up, you had family who were not accepting of you. And as a parent, you do not want to repeat what was done to you as a child. Because then there's a quote that I've seen. I think it was like recently. It said, heal from what broke you as a child, or that child's going to have to heal from you as a parent. I completely agree. And do you feel like that quote is relevant to what you're doing now? Because I feel like it's due to the childhood trauma. Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  yeah completely to be honest I don't think I ever kind of made that like two and two together that maybe I'm doing this because I did get bullied as a kid. I think like when I sit and think about my journey, like I just kind of think like these were all the stepping stones that were just like, okay, fuck, you're going to boss up. You're going to be this like confident plus size girl. But now that we're sitting here talking like that's true. That's literally true. Yeah. Yeah. That's literally true. You, you want to make a statement for yourself. You want to make a statement,

• Speaker #1

  but not just for yourself, but for your childhood. Because then you felt like, okay, here's my daughter. She's coming to me. She's coming to me and she's telling me, mom, this is what's going on at school. And you're like, okay, I bet you, did it bring you flashbacks? Oh, for sure. Of what happened to you? For sure. Not even just when she tells me stuff,

• Speaker #0

  when she's getting ready to go to school and she's getting dressed. And I might pick something out for her that I think is just super cute. And then she goes, I don't want to wear that. And she makes this face. And as a mom, you can read your children. You can read children? You can read your children. And she's pulling at her clothes in certain little areas. And she's just like, and then that's when she'll tell me, Mom. They make fun of me when I wear this and I'd be ready to go to school and fuck them kids up. Period. Fuck. Where your mama at? Where your mama at?

• Speaker #1

  And then as much as I want to be like, no,

• Speaker #0

  you know, you're going to wear this. And, you know, I want to be like, you're fine. Or I didn't mean to say her name, but yeah. Can we cut that out? Yeah. Okay. Sorry about that. As much as I want to be like, don't wear this. I let her pick out what she's comfortable in. Wow. And what makes her the most confident. and if that's what I got to do to help her, I'm going to do that forever for her. And if you're watching this right now,

• Speaker #1

  and you feel as a mom that you're having children who are feeling insecure, take Jessica's advice, because at the same time, she's trying to show her children that it's okay to be this way. It's okay to love yourself. And I think that's what it comes down to. Do you love yourself enough internally to face these people? Right. children at that time it's kind of hard for them to love themselves let's be honest like we feel like we love ourselves and then we get older and we're like damn i was getting my ass beat by this dude i didn't love myself right it's an eye-opener yeah and i feel like due to your childhood and what you've been through you don't want your child and that's what a parent does they don't want their kid to ever go through the pain that

• Speaker #0

  they went through right is that what you feel no i mean i completely agree i mean you're literally trying to make sure that they don't go through anything whether it's from bullying to money mistakes to big life decisions that you might regret that you just don't want them to do you know what I mean but realistically they have to learn for themselves all I can do is put on the best the mom the best mom I can be the best you know plus size figure I can be the best woman I can be and then hope from there that she can take those steps and apply them to herself so she gets older and

• Speaker #1

  I think right now a lot of parents are watching this right now probably feeling the same way maybe getting bullied for different reasons maybe not the weight maybe just The skin color, it could be a different thing. Hair and going to feel like, oh, my child doesn't feel accepted. When you don't feel accepted, you'll go to great lengths to feel accepted. Oh, for sure. And I think that's what you don't want her to do. You don't want her to pretend to be something that she's not. Or be authentic. Be authentic. This is exactly what we're about on this Realness Lounge. We're being authentic. We're talking about some real ass shit. We're not talking about that fake shit. Because if you don't have the fake shit, then there's other podcasts to watch. But it's like. Right. But it's more about, you know. Loving yourself. And obviously you came to a point of that after going through so much hurt. Oh, yeah. Because when you want to love yourself, you got to go through pain to love yourself. Oh, yeah. Bad shit in your life. Like, damn,

• Speaker #0

  I remember I was doing this.

• Speaker #1

  But you come to a point of when you realize, okay, I want to love myself. No matter how my body looks. I don't give a fuck what my body looks. I'm still where it is. You know. Boostie like I got. Like I found Selena. They say Boostie. Yeah. I'm still going to do this. I'm still going to ride for myself. So how did you reach that point where you're like, okay. okay instead of feeling this way what my family did to me how did you get away being accepting of your own self you said fuck the motherfucking approval i'm gonna do me I feel like I always had that kind of like boss bitch mentality,

• Speaker #0

  to be honest. Like I feel like ever since I could remember, I've always had that mentality. It honestly wasn't until I went through like a big heartbreak in my life that I was like, oh, I'm a real boss bitch. Like, oh, OK. OK. And it was like a really big eye opener. And I feel like from that, that made me boss up. And then in the way that I chose to boss up was my body confidence. Yeah. And promoting plus size. positivity like I was in a marriage I was trapped in a marriage you know what I mean and like I wasn't trapped in a marriage but I was just happy and I was content and you know you kind of let yourself go almost to be completely real because you're just so happy and you just don't even feel the need to do what you do anymore you know what I mean and it wasn't until I got out that marriage you I started buying some sexy clothes, some sexy shoes. everything changed. Yeah. Everything changed. And then from that, I built a friend group and I built a team. And then. It was up from there.

• Speaker #1

  Heartbreak can really change you.

• Speaker #0

  Heartbreak changed me.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. So you feel like heartbreak really pushed you.

• Speaker #0

  It pushed me. It motivated me.

• Speaker #1

  So obviously, you know, dealing with these situations, you know, every time, like, you know, a girl gets her heart broken, they in the streets.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, yes.

• Speaker #1

  If you get your heart broken, you're going to be in the streets.

• Speaker #0

  I was in the streets, too, for a little bit. Okay. But I pulled my head out of my ass. There ain't nothing in the streets for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  There's a lot of, I mean, obviously, people go right to the streets when they get heartbroken. I'm going to go in the streets. I go. free and you know they really do be free and they'd be doing freeing things right but it's like obviously you come to a point of loving yourself when you started to go through heartbreak oh yeah so then now you're going through heart are you still going through that now or no no i've moved on you

• Speaker #0

  know i i definitely it's different you know i've never been married right so to be married and then separated it's a whole different ballgame yeah like it's like whoa okay that's crazy as much as i still have love for this person i'm not going through this anymore um

• Speaker #1

  always love you i feel free i feel free you feel free right i love you i love for you but what's that one song um f r e e that's how she'd be feeling but you know what that's good though so entering 2023 you know obviously you learned a lot from 2022 when it came to you know going back it was actually before so you posted this video before 2023 so it was like a kind of like a stepping stone like oh this is what we really gonna do now right we gonna push the envelope we gonna do this yeah that the

• Speaker #0

  video getting three mil it put Pushed everyone's expectations on the plus size influencers. It pushed my own as like, I guess you could say CEO of kind of that. And then of my friends expectations, um, because now they're like, Oh fuck, we're all going up. And like, they already know. And I tell them this all the time. If I eat, y'all are eating.

• Speaker #1

  Wow. Don't forget about it.

• Speaker #0

  I'm not, you don't forget about your team because like in eight months I've built such good relationships with these people that hold so much more value in my life than a relationship maybe that I've had for 10 years.

• Speaker #1

  And I think what's really important about you is that you want to make sure people feel comfortable in their skin. Because I know there's people who go to the gym and they don't feel comfortable in their body. And they're feeling like everybody's watching me. Everybody's watching me. Have you ever been in that situation where you're like, people are watching me, aren't they?

• Speaker #0

  They're watching me right now. I feel like that every single day, to be honest with you. Every single day when I go out into a store, Circle K, CVS, go to the Dispo, even come here and have this conversation. I always feel like... my eyes are on me constantly how do you deal with that I'd be high. I mean, and I just stay focused, to be honest with you. I'm not saying there's always eyes on me because I'm plus size. I just feel like there's always eyes on me because I look different. I'm not that typical person. Right. I have this bitch look on my face all the time. People are just curious about who I am, what I got to say, and what's on my mind.

• Speaker #1

  The red hair.

• Speaker #0

  And now in my head, I'm not an ex- extrovert I'm an introvert but a lot of people don't know that you know what I mean yeah like I'm actually a super big introvert but because of social media and everything people think I'm this big extrovert and it's like I'm not so when I do have all those eyes on me

• Speaker #1

  I'll put my head down okay I put my head down and just keep strutting my stuff and just block all that out but it's hard it's hard yeah it's hard deal with that kind of like they're watching me and then now obviously the whole world watched you 3.0 million did you feel a little bit of pressure too were you like um

• Speaker #0

  um in the last couple months now I'm like oh they got eyes on me that's a good thing okay I'm doing I'm doing because like oh I'm doing what I need to do like as soon as we got the haters I was like oh my god I got haters wow I'm famous like I couldn't believe it like it was it was a trip to me but yeah I just, I really just, as much as I mentor other women, when it's times like that, that's when I have to kind of go back and mentor myself.

• Speaker #1

  Wow. Run to yourself, because at the end of the day, you're all you really have sometimes.

• Speaker #0

  And then sometimes those same women that I mentor, they mentor me.

• Speaker #1

  Because sometimes you're like, I can't do this. It gets hard. I don't know what I'm doing. Or, you know, you got 3.0 million. I mean, but also you've seen what you can do when you really want to make a difference. In the plus size life. I mean, did any plus size woman write you and say, girl, like I saw this lingerie photo shoot and I said, where are you at?

• Speaker #0

  Put me on hundreds.

• Speaker #1

  What do they tell you?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, all day long. How can we be a part of your friend group? Where can I sign up? What's your social media? They're constantly reaching out. But we've had so many people kind of come in and out of the team. Wow. Now, now, now it's a serious thing. Now I kind of got to jump you in, basically. Oh, damn. I got to make sure.

• Speaker #1

  Y'all getting jumped.

• Speaker #0

  Because to be honest, like. People be so fake confidence sometimes. They put on an act, super confident, super confident. And then here we are half butt naked and they're not, which is fine. That's when I have to step in and mentor them. However, when we're putting on this face for other women, I need to know like you're going to handle the backlash that comes with this and everything. And it's like, OK, well, maybe you can't be in my necessarily team doing photo shoots, but maybe I can mentor you and I can still make a difference in your life and I can still inspire you. So it's just like. It's a trip. So,

• Speaker #1

  of course, you have to have that confidence. Because, I mean, the backlash that you receive. But also there's good things. So you hear the. But I think the key is to focus on the good, not the bad. Don't focus on the negative comments. Because, I mean, anybody can comment on your shit and make you feel bad. Oh, yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Like,

• Speaker #1

  oh, why your house dirty? Right. Why your beer so dirty? Oh,

• Speaker #0

  and people are so specific. They will zoom in on a photo. Yeah. And pick out a flaw. Why was your nail polish chipped? She was breathing too hard.

• Speaker #1

  she didn't look into it you're just like whoa were you there do you know what's going on like yeah and I feel like but that's the thing social media can be so toxic so obviously when you are getting that backlash did you need to take a break

• Speaker #0

  I do take breaks frequently, actually, pretty frequently. Like I'll have a big moment on social media like that, for instance, and then I won't post for a couple of days. I won't even look at the comments and then I'll go and post. And because I already have like a big kind of, you know, TikTok following and I have a big social media presence, like when I even just take that break for a couple of days and I come back, I feel better. Right. But then I'm also coming back to hundreds of hate comments because I haven't replied and I haven't given that energy. So it's like. you do need that break. But then again, when you take the break, you get the backlash still. They'll be like, oh,

• Speaker #1

  I didn't think about you. Right.

• Speaker #0

  Right. I just took a break. Or they're like, oh, did that hurt your feelings? Why weren't you here for a couple of days? Like, you know what I mean? It's just like, um, girl, I have a life. Y'all not paying me enough.

• Speaker #1

  Don't check on me unless you got the check from me. Literally.

• Speaker #0

  That's exactly. I feel like,

• Speaker #1

  but 2023, obviously you're coming in full force. Oh yeah.

• Speaker #0

  If people want to get men. by you what do they need to do they need to tap in with me on social media um i would say that my snap is going to be like the best way to get contact of me right it's going to be lexi dion l-e-x-y d-i-o-n um and then definitely tap into my instagram plus i's jessicarabbit that's also going to be my handle on tiktok as well right

• Speaker #1

  so so obviously you said you had people come out of the woodworks yeah people who bullied you came back and said what are they what are they telling you people who are watching this right now y'all bullying somebody but you don't know they could be on a podcast and they could get 3.0 million views and you're gonna be like you know obviously they they uh people they underestimate people oh yeah but now i feel like you're you're trying to like oh now you want to want me they you know they just reach out hey can i take you on a date you're like whoa you

• Speaker #0

  don't remember what happened seven years ago damn you don't remember what happened 10 years it's that childhood trauma when you get bullied you like and then to be honest like i blast people period like i wish i wish you would bully me in school and then try to come spin the block now i'm posting y'all all over social media what my friends are gonna we're talking shit about you in the group chat literally like i wish you would try to spend the block because like if you didn't know my work then you damn sure ain't gonna know it now dang period you just want me because i'm coming up yeah you just want me because i'm on the up and up they do what like i mean obviously you've said you wanted to blast somebody on there do you want to do that right now i'm just kidding not all y'all no i mean honestly like fuck y'all period like y'all know what it is y'all know Y'all know that I'm on the up and up and y'all just want a piece of the success and fame and you're not going to get it. You're not going to get it at all.

• Speaker #1

  Y'all should treat her right. Now she out here is saying you want to spend the block, go spend somewhere else. And to be honest with you,

• Speaker #0

  2023, we block and delete people and conserve our energy. All I like that.

• Speaker #1

  Block, delete, conserve. Because you know what? We're getting older now. We ain't got time for these fucking people coming out live, giving us negative vibes, negative energy. Like we don't got time for that shit. If you ain't paying me,

• Speaker #0

  I'm not paying you no money.

• Speaker #1

  mind literally that's true that's what girls feel like only fans too they say pay my only fans and we'll talk so they told that to pay my only fans i also got that too you want to drop your only that's my spicy site plus size jessica rabbit that's when you see some other shit what what's your plus size jack is jessica rabbit okay plus size jessica rabbit is my handle on 99 plus size jessica rabbit don't save it i'm just kidding and then um on only fans though it's lexi loves with two movie so l-e-x-y-m-b-u-v-s l-o-l she put jessica so she's lexi loves yes lexi loves so obviously she got some hot spicy content i got all the social media she she got the only fans she got you still got myspace no the

• Speaker #0

  only thing i'm not on yet is twitter but i think i'm actually gonna migrate and go to twitter so you're gonna migrate okay because our twitter's popping they might even have me already on there they might already love me and i'm just not there yet you you're like where we're so obviously people are on tiktok yeah tiktok is tiktok is where i where i blew up at some stitches i did oh yeah i'm sure they're like damn like yep who are those women you know what that gives you more

• Speaker #1

  I wouldn't say more boosts, but you know,

• Speaker #0

  it does. Oh, it does it. Oh, I mean all those hate comments What? I got my following went up. Girl, I got on the creator fund. Page hit 350K likes across the whole page. Not only just from that one video, all those people went to all of my other videos and started like viewing it and sharing it and commenting. And it gave me clout. I mean, I'm not a clout chaser by no means, but y'all did that for y'all's sake. Yeah. You know what I mean? You still give me that clout.

• Speaker #1

  Like when Cardi B does a video, right? You still give me that clout when you see that shit. Like they getting paid. They're like, shh, we don't give a fuck because we out here making moves. I feel like if you ask. they're making moves and you ain't doing shit then why the fuck you right you're mad about what you mad that you not doing nothing with your life like you know i think that's that's that's what it is and see so since you know that you know that you're going places and they're not you're like all right we'll stand back and let me come up right so

• Speaker #0

  obviously you know

• Speaker #1

  2023 it's a new year new things to happen and new people to bring onto your team right i'm sure yeah or you guys are still having that discussion we're definitely we're

• Speaker #0

  Recruiting. We're recruiting.

• Speaker #1

  And I love how you're coming on here and you're making a difference. So to these women out here who have been struggling with their weight, insecure, what would you want to tell them?

• Speaker #0

  she's like fuck them bitches mom alexi loves you it's okay put it on it's okay to wear it it's okay to it's okay to wear it and take pictures and feel confident period and um fuck a hater okay pop your shit really like when i put on outfits and i step out like that's literally the only thing in my mind like pop your shit sis like and that's how i feel you know and i think that's important for confidence and i feel like right now

• Speaker #1

  oh you're doing so much amazing things just to even be you know be here but be in just different aspects of your life and getting on the creator fund obviously she can't pay so you you comment on them negative shit she like oh yeah they're running me up in the money she's like i'm about to pull up and go to sonic and get some damn slushy okay and then make a video and eat it and then talk shit and honestly like i honestly want to say you know watching this video a lot of girls will relate a lot of guys will relate being bullied in life can really fuck you up but it's all about healing from that bullying and making a difference like being like that's why i feel like drake made that song you know for me back then how about now because now he out here you know maybe that girl a girl didn't want you before back because you were bullied he thought you were she wants you now though now she's like damn i see him he out here and you're like stop playing right you hit the block loose you know or that guy who didn't want you and now they want to spin the block like don't spin the block for me if you don't know my worth now i mean you don't know my worth back then you don't know i know and don't spin the block because i didn't moved okay like circles out here but honestly jessica i want to thank you so much for even being a part of this and just making a difference for sure body shaming fuck body shaming fuck all that bullshit because at the end of the day it's your body so who the fuck who who is anybody to shame it it's your motherfucking body yeah do what you need to do fuck body shaming fuck what people tell you about your body because if you ain't happy with your body okay well then change it but if you are that's all that matters because you're the only one in your motherfucking body you it's like you know i'm saying so love yourself love your life and if there's any last words that you want to give what would you want to give put it the fuck on put it the fuck on in the words of rita put it the fuck on rich costume wear your shit you know pop your shit twin take that picture wear that fucking outfit take that trip honestly take risk live your motherfucking life like don't let nobody tell you that you can't do something don't let these motherfuckers stop you don't let anything happen you know i'm saying like manifest your dreams manifest your dreams stop letting people tell you that you can't do something in your life because you can the only person that's stopping you is you you stopping yourself don't blame your mama or your daddy don't blame your dad or your childhood don't blame people for your actions at the end of the day we adults now it's the time to take accountability here and it's like love yourself love who you are and jessica you want to say anything about your following people to follow you right now it's plus size jessica plus size jessica rabbit on tiktok

• Speaker #0

  and tapping with me on snap lexi dion d-i-o-n and come fuck with your girl i'm gonna put you guys out there hell yeah we ain't got no time for the motherfucking negative vibes if you want to be negative get the fuck out my life i got time for you we coming up we making all these moves period give a motherfucker

• Speaker #1

  that's exactly this 2023 you better treat this year as your bitch like you literally let people know you either respect me or you get the fuck out yes if you don't respect me then you know what leave because i got another really well you know i got other bitches they're coming right now you know i'm saying that's how you need to treat your life treat yourself fuck all these people who try to limit you i don't give a shit like at the end of the day it's all about you and yourself and loving yourself just like jessica is right now right loving yourself right tell them tell them what you want them to know about you before we head out i'm a bad bitch i'm always gonna be a bad bitch

• Speaker #0

  And you're going to see me take over the world step by step. Yeah, and you're going to really regret it.

• Speaker #1

  And then you're going to be like, let me take you to Nobu. And you'll be like, Nobu.

• Speaker #0

  Period. You spend the block,

• Speaker #1

  you spend your ass. No, I'm just kidding. But guys, thank you guys so much for watching this podcast. This is about body shaming, guys. This is a free, we out here. I just want to give a shout out to my last comment out here. I really did like this quote that he said. And I pinned it because I was like, damn, he was really feeling this. And I really liked it. He said in regards to like this is just perfect in regards to like in general in your life and what people do to you and just anything that you've been through in your life. I really liked it. I pinned it. I was like, I'm going to like it. I want to give a shout out to the people who were even commenting on this. But the first comment I saw was strong people forgive weak people, revenge, intelligent people ignore. I was like, damn, I pin that. It was by Moa Fitz. I don't know if I'm announcing your name right. But, you know, I still I still I fuck with y'all. Yeah, we fuck with that.

• Speaker #0

  You wise.

• Speaker #1

  Strong people forgive,

• Speaker #0

  right? Or no,

• Speaker #1

  strong people, you know, we're the ones, intelligent people, we ignore. We don't got time for that shit. We on our goals and shit. We on our motherfucking shit. So again, thank you guys so much for watching this. Don't, see, I pay attention to your comments. I could see what y'all saying on here. So guys, leave a comment if you've ever been bullied. Leave a comment how you've been feeling about bullying. If people, you know, didn't fuck with you now, fuck with you then. Let me, I want to know these things. We're curious.

• Speaker #0

  I want to read. Tell me what you guys think about Jessica's story,

• Speaker #1

  inspiring your children, how you're dealing. I want. I want to know these things. I'll give a shout out to this guy. Whoever comments, you guys will get a shout out again on the next show. But thank you guys so much for watching this. And again, 2023, make it your bitch. Bye. Bye.

• Speaker #2

  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.