Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Votre Voie en Lumière, quand l'intuition devient direction. Bienvenue dans ce nouvel épisode de votre Voie en Lumière, quand l'intuition devient direction. And this episode will be in English. So welcome to my podcast, Votre Voie en Lumière, which could be translated as Your Enlightened Path. I'm more than happy to welcome Gabrielle Mehanna, a friend and colleague, coach in self-expression and authenticity. Hi, Gabrielle. Hey. So, Gabrielle, for the rest of the episode, I'm going to call you Gaby because I never call you Gabrielle.

• Speaker #1

  Sure, sure.

• Speaker #0

  So to give you some background, Gaby and I used to work at the same organization a few years ago. And we were colleagues and we never really met. We saw each other. We knew who we were. Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  we never worked together.

• Speaker #0

  We never worked together. Never had the opportunity to. And then thanks to Sarah. Hi, Sarah. We eventually connected. And then something really big started to start between the two of us. And I've been with you since then. I think that was 2022. That was before I left. True, true.

• Speaker #1

  I think, yeah, we met a little bit before and thanks to Sarah. Habibi Sarah, hello. And yeah, exactly. And then we started, I mean, you started coaching me, actually. That's how our relationship started. And then we just hit it off.

• Speaker #0

  Yes, exactly. So I really followed your journey. So I know your journey pretty well, because we talked about it a number of times. Could you tell us more a bit about your journey?

• Speaker #1

  Um, so... Basically, I've started as in event planning. And that's what really, really happened. That's how I started, I would say, my professional journey. So, yeah, I did start and then I worked in the pharmaceutical industry. I've worked in packaging industry. And then I ended up at education and industry at INSEAD. And that's like exactly where we met. And so, yeah, actually, I loved doing it. I actually loved being planning events, the hype of it, the excitement, the last minute changes. And it suit me very well. But you know what? Why? It was really basically more about like people and being around people and meeting new people, inviting and then just like getting to know participants that were, you know, coming through. And I've always worked with international companies. So, so, yeah.

• Speaker #0

  So what would you say were the key turning points? Because now you're a coach. So what took you to being a coach now?

• Speaker #1

  So I learned about my sickness when I was 25 years old. I'm actually now 33. But it started, I would say, with my sickness, where I have an autoimmune disease that changed my whole life. So event planning is like really demanding in terms of like energy wise. You're the first there. You're the last there. You're always running here and there. So obviously, like it took a toll on me physically because I couldn't do that as much. So I was thinking and wondering if I should continue and I still wanted to do it. So I would say that the opportunity at INSEAD led me to do event planning that is. like more softly as what I was used to doing, which is like organizing in congresses, always, always on a plane, always in a hotel. I was really like everywhere in Europe. At some point I did go a little bit more international, but yeah. And then I got even more sick, I would say in 2020. And they had to remove my colon and part of my rectum, etc. So yeah, I would say that that took a toll on me physically and I couldn't do as much and I couldn't keep up I just couldn't keep up with the with the with work it was too much even waking up early because I would go I would wake up a lot at night because of just pain just pain and I would be really tired so yeah I would say that but also kind of my whole life has always been like a number of turning points because I've changed countries and towns my whole life from obviously like my background. So I would say that I've had many turning points in my life. But my biggest one is my sickness where you had to like step back. And analyze what's going on and what I want for myself and what I want to feel better and be better.

• Speaker #0

  And if you had the opportunity to turn back time, would you change anything? And if so, what would that be?

• Speaker #1

  Are you talking like about work wise or just in general?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, maybe in general, maybe you've made some decisions in your life or that. Maybe not decisions that you made, but things that happened in your life. And maybe you would have liked things to happen otherwise.

• Speaker #1

  You know, I think there is something very important that people need to remember is that with regret and everything is that you do your best with the tools you have at that time. It's always easy in the future to be like, oh, I wish I'd done it this way. I wish I'd done it that way. But you couldn't have because you didn't have the tools you have today. to, how do you say?

• Speaker #0

  Overcome obstacles. Exactly.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. So, I mean, what I would have loved is to listen to my intuition more. I'm not going to lie. Because also your podcast is a lot about intuition. Not listening to myself as much. And it's still a problem today. And I'm not ashamed to say it. Like, you're always a... I think you always have to work on yourself all the time. There's always something to change or something to work on, you know. But yeah, I would definitely say that. And it's a tool that I'm learning to master today. But what I changed, that's the only thing, listening to my intuition a little bit more.

• Speaker #0

  And now that you're more connected to your intuition, this is what I'm hearing as well, that now you're more connected to it. How does it express itself in you?

• Speaker #1

  Actually, physically. But it's not in a good way. It expresses with just me feeling the difference. And if I have like a whole feeling or like a physical hole or a physical ball, we call it in French, you know, la boule. And sometimes I feel it in my heart. Sometimes I feel it in my stomach. And when I feel it in my stomach, I know it's my intuition. but when I feel it in my heart I know it's fear. And that's a really cool indicator for myself. It's different for everyone. But for me, I feel like when it's in my heart, I know it's my own scares. It's like something that is triggering me. And then a good indicator for me to be like, oh, why is this triggering me? And I need to work on it this way. But when it's my stomach, I'm like, ah, something is telling me it's not a good idea or not to go there. But yeah. I was just about to switch into Arabic. But yeah, exactly. I would say that. And then just like, as everyone says, like the voice in your head. And yeah, I would do listen a little bit more to the voice in my head.

• Speaker #0

  This is something I remember when I talk with coaches. I didn't say that a few years back. And one of them was saying, oh, my intuition, I feel like this is what we call the gut feeling. And I was like, yeah, that's interesting. this is This is not how it works for me. It's a lot in my head.

• Speaker #1

  How does that work?

• Speaker #0

  For me, it's really basically having ideas that just pop up in my head from nowhere. But sometimes fear, fear is more connected with my body. And sometimes it can be fear. Like I give this example, like, you know, I live in the forest and if there are white animals are going to cross and I can feel it in my belly. but intuition intuition exactly if it's my in my heart it's going to be more like yeah i'm afraid because i know the circumstances are dangerous i'm driving at night in the forest and so it's likely that wild animals are going to cross the road even though when i did several episodes on intuition but of course it's like you know right now you know that this is the right thing and then and then you're on decision making Yeah, and even on decision-making, or there's something that just comes out of nowhere, but it's just obvious that you know, and then you're going to start thinking about it, and then when you start thinking about it, you just lose your intuition.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  So that's really a difficulty for me. I don't know how I can get so many intuition and feelings about people and all of that because I'm a control freak, so I think a lot, but it feels like... I have this capacity now to distinguish, but it is so subtle. It is so subtle, the difference. Even though when I'm with someone, sometimes when you're a coach, I guess it happens to you as well. So much. Connecting to the feelings of your clients. And sometimes you're like. Are these my feelings? Are these their feelings? But the subtlety between the two is really, really thin.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, you mean like you feel more of an obvious intuition when you're coaching with someone than for yourself? Is that what I'm...

• Speaker #0

  No, not really. For example, connecting with my clients and connecting with their feelings. And sometimes, for example, they're explaining something that makes them happy. angry and all of that and you can see the angry even though they're not saying it really yeah uh and sometimes i can feel angry myself that's also intuition putting that into words it's it's conduct transference as well that's happening with uh with the coaches so but i feel always the subtleties like oh they are okay they're not saying it but i can feel that there's something there and that's intuition yeah that's the intuition yeah true i i do feel like my intuition is so...

• Speaker #1

  much stronger when I'm coaching and I feel it for them even before they say it's like it's like sometimes with my coachees they're gonna say something they say something and I just have a feeling of something else and I just know it's gonna come up like three sessions later and I'm like oh you see I knew that yeah that's just a I would say gut feeling and sometimes I do feel it in my belly. Well, for my coaches, I do feel some stuff for my belly. And I just like write it down and I'm like, okay, see you later. And then it comes up later. And then I already, and that's what's magical. Then you can, you anticipated already the question to ask and refer to what they're saying.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, exactly.

• Speaker #1

  And then it's like, yeah. Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  So I did,

• Speaker #1

  I did master it, but that's one thing I would have changed. But again, tools come with your experience, right? Exactly. So,

• Speaker #0

  yeah. So you have quite an incredible background, Lebanese, Danish and French roots, and your partner is Japanese. How do you navigate this multicultural identity? Would you just say it has been more of a challenge or driver in your life?

• Speaker #1

  That is, I'm not going to lie, it was the biggest struggle of my life, was juggling, I would say, my different identities. Also, it adds up. when you live in like different countries because you can stay at one place and be all like from different backgrounds but then like when you also move in the places from where you are from so basically um just to explain that um i'm born in denmark i was raised there till i was six then i moved to beirut in lebanon um till i was 12 and then uh moved in ghana west africa for two years, two or three years, I don't remember. And then I lived in south of France and then Paris. So also moving that much and being interfered with different type of cultures, it doesn't help with who am I? What am I like? First, it was a struggle. But you know what? I would say that each part of my identity gave me an advantage of life. And I did take different parts of different identities. So I would say that my Danish heritage, also seeing my mom, my mom is very Danish. She's like more Danish than French. But I did take the thing where, oh, I have to be on time. And like, obviously, it's like cliches. But again, I did take a little bit of everything here and there. And I'm not gonna lie, it gave me a... an incredible strength that um i'm really proud of today which is my adaptability to changes is like super i can adapt anywhere i'm like a fish anywhere you put me i'll swim through um any anyone anything uh empathy my power to connect to people is really comes from that from like moving so much and then re... relearning to have friends and like just like you know socializing and just adapt to different type of culture oh people people um uh connect this way okay i'll just adapt oh this is i'll just go through it and oh this is how you say hi this is how you say bye this is how you hang out like all those like social cues and and just or cultural cues that you just pick up on and it's like that's That's, I think, my biggest strength today. I would say that. And it makes me me a lot. And I would say that my Lebanese heritage gave me a lot on resilience. And it is true that that's what you say the most about Lebanese, that they're very resilient through the challenges that they're put through. on a day-to-day or just like yearly or whatnot. And I did grow up when it was still like tough, kind of tough there. But my dad would say it was the easiest part. But again, everyone's experience is different. And I have a power to move forward, which is insane. If it wasn't from my background, I wouldn't have, I don't think I would have gotten through my sickness the way I did today. Because of like my also eternal optimism. And I am a serial optimist. And it does help me. But also because I'm such a dreamer. And I just think of, oh, and when I'll be fine, I'll do this. And when I'll be this, I'll do that. And I've always been kind of a dreamer. So all that, I would say, gave me who I am today. All that mixed up. And yeah, I keep going mentality. It's like keep going also very much. But I don't know if it has to do with my personality or like. Yeah,

• Speaker #0

  this was what I was wondering because I'm thinking you're more of an extrovert person. Is that your natural, your natural self?

• Speaker #1

  Yes.

• Speaker #0

  Or is that something that, as you were saying, that built your identity because you had to adapt, like you changed countries. And these are not only countries because, because I. can only imagine moving from Denmark to Lebanon. Yeah, that was a cultural shock. So different, yeah, cultural shock. But I loved it. So you have to adapt.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  But I see how you are, and I think because your personality is what it is, it's easier for you. But I think maybe if you were a total introvert, that wouldn't be so easy for you to connect to people.

• Speaker #1

  uh that then maybe there would have been something really more difficult for you yeah i mean i think it has a lot to do with my personality from what i hear of how i was as a baby but um yeah the culture shocks weren't easy i would say that from denmark to lebanon was fine of course age has to do with it all you know my biggest cultural shock was coming to france because it was so different from what i was used to already as in like lebanese culture and Even in Ghana, in Accra, I was like confronted to. But I would say it was very different for me when I came to even the system, how people thought, how just how it was. France was the hardest part for me. But yeah, I mean, still, it is hard to navigate identity. And I feel like everyone struggles with this because your identity changes so much through your life and in age and everything. And you're just in constant change. So you're in constant. I feel maybe maybe it's I don't know but I feel like you change with life like you become a mom and then everything changes or you have a new job new responsibilities this is also like shifting your identity or you lose someone and it changes your identity so I feel like everyone kind of always is like wondering oh where's my place in this world where's my place with this group of community and etc so it's really interesting But I think I'm more now today just concentrating on like who I am just personally as myself without my. I mean, you can't you can't take out the roots of yourself. You know, you just that's it. But I'm just concentrating a bit more about like just being me.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah,

• Speaker #1

  that's it. And just being me the best I can.

• Speaker #0

  OK. So what you were saying, and that's a good transition to my next question. I'm thinking about, you know, we're talking about identity and to me, the resonance with authenticity. And when we work at INSEAD, I was often hearing, how can you be sure that you're going to stay connected to your true self? And this is part as well of what you're inviting your clients to do now as a coach in self-expression and authenticity. I remember when we first talk about that during our sessions, when actually we were saying, oh, I love, you know, to give advice to people and to say how beautiful they are in and out and all of that. And I remember that spark in your eyes when you were saying that. So now that you've taken this natural gift of yours to another level through your coaching practice, how do you do that in your coaching?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, actually, it's really interesting that you've asked this question before, because The answer is like, I'm a very keep going mentality, optimistic and like resilient. And it is so easy for me to like give my energy to people. And that is what I think it's the most natural thing that comes to me is like. Just giving some strength to others and be like, no, you're totally capable. Without saying it, because obviously as a coach, you can't be the only motivator. You have to find. And that's what's so interesting about coaching is that you have to find where that person sparks at what moment. And then use that for them to use it for themselves, for it to go on for a lifetime. Because you don't want them to come seeing you every, I don't know, every six months. That's not the point of coaching. so I would say it's it comes so naturally to me and um i like to say that i'm a professional like motivator or something because i just love motivating and just being like go on yeah and what i like is that what is new about like it's not good about coaching is that you're not supposed to give advice and that's what i like because then you can teach people to be their own their own hype person actually no I'm a professional hype man or hype girl, whatever. That's what I am. And that's what I like. And I like to translate it this way because it really resonates with my personality being like hyping people up all the time. So I would say I'm a professional hype girl. And I really like that. But what I like is that I love showing people how great they are. And I actually love proving it to themselves. With exercises and with questions and with goals that we like organize together. And then they can prove it to themselves. Because I can say you're amazing. But if someone doesn't like really and you can do it. If someone really doesn't know, like they don't feel it. I can say whatever I want, how many times they're not going to feel it. So that's why it's important to have exercises and questions and, you know, have time, obviously, in coaching to like go where you want to go. And then that's how you make magic happen, literally, on doing that. And then I'm here to hold people's hand while they do and go through those things and do those exercises and push their boundaries and push themselves into another state where they can actually evolve.

• Speaker #0

  Do you have an example of a ha-ha moment that you had with one of your coaches? You saw the spark. And in them and you work with them on that and,

• Speaker #1

  and what it created in them. Um, yes, I have a person. What, what's really funny is that people come to see you for one thing and then it always ends up being, even if it's in the link with it, it's always, it's always something else because, you know, they learned something else about themselves, uh, during the coaching and the questions and stuff. Um, a ha ha or a spark moment was, uh, a coachy. that had it with saying yes, yes, yes to everyone. And her being overwhelmed by just like so much things. And then the kind of like when she understood where she said, oh, actually, it has to start with me saying no and the way to say it. And her being so having anxiety over the thought of saying no. And us like organizing the way to say it step by step and with like easy ways. You can't just go on and be like and change yourself completely and be like, I want to say no, not that's not how it happens. What happens is, OK, what's easiest for you to like start with and then build through that? And I remember her coming back and on a session and her saying, I want to figure out what I want to do after this and after the coaching. Sorry. And then. And basically, she understood that before wondering what her next step is, is to accept the place where she's at right now. I almost felt like her shoulders went down, like her more than a spark. It was more like calmness and a relief and being OK with where she is right now. I would say that was the biggest part for me in a coaching session where she thought. She needed to figure out what her next move was. But how can you figure out your next move if you're like in distress and if your body even feels like it's not in a secure place? And she was like, oh, actually, I think I need to like take a break before I need to figure out what the rest is and accept. And it's all about accepting. And the state of mind is very important because when you're in a state of acceptance of just like, OK, let me just digest what. just happened yeah and then we can see yeah and she actually just needed a coaching for that even to Just to accept something that for maybe listeners thinking, oh, but that's like, that's not, that's really easy. But you know what? It is that. It is that. That's what coaching does, is to tell you like things that are easy at the end of the day. But when you're in it, it's really complicated. I would say that.

• Speaker #0

  And kinds of, because when you are in a coaching, it's not like when you're being given a prescription, oh, you need to do that and do that. And my client the other day said, oh, I have to do, I have to do. But do you want to do it? Because I have to is like, you're not going to do it. If there's not something from within you that's going to push you to do those things. Because it has come from you. So you can listen to me and say, oh, I have to, I have to. I didn't tell you that you have to. This needs to come from you, really.

• Speaker #1

  That is, I agree. and to... Use what you just said is that my, and I think you think the same, that the coachees, so people we are coaching, think that it's thanks to us or me. But honestly, it's them that are putting the work into it and making the magic happen. And you hear, oh, thanks to this coach. Oh, thanks to this coach. It's actually thanks to you because you're the one putting the work. And as you say, and it's like, what do you want? It's not like, what do I have to? It's like, what do I want? That works. It's kind of a magic formula.

• Speaker #0

  And it's just about asking the right questions. Because when I said that to her, I could see her reaction, her body reaction. I was like, yeah, okay, I'm going to think about that. And now she's more like, okay, what I'm going to do with all of that? Or questions that I'm not asking myself. The body language is insane, right? Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Totally. And you can see a body language. I mean, you learn that also.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, exactly. Totally. So which kind of impact would you like to have on your coaches?

• Speaker #1

  Honestly, long lasting mechanism, because that's what's most important, because like you pay a certain amount.

• Speaker #0

  Right.

• Speaker #1

  And and if it's for it to like flow away in the air after this. So I would say giving reflexes and it takes a certain time to have like reflexes. in inside you you know so when you when you you see a coach for a certain amount of times amount of times you have those mechanism kind of that that becomes automatic and i think that's what i want to do and uh no actually i want them to know that they have the answer always most of the time uh that and i would say my optimism yeah hype girl yeah

• Speaker #0

  hype girl hype woman if you could leave our listeners with one message about authenticity or self-expression what would it be i

• Speaker #1

  learned this week um something a mix of things um the power of letting go uh as another control person that likes to control and everyone a lot of people like to control themselves but i think the power of letting go helps yourself to come out in the front row i think that helps a lot but i like to say and i always and that's another example but calm

• Speaker #0

  waters reveal depth i often say that to my client as well yeah um we'll like to dig a bit more um about you're offering about self-expression and authenticity um what took you to choosing this lens in your coaching working on self-expression oh why i chose self-expression um i

• Speaker #1

  think it's more about how i see potential in people i think it's more that i think it's like yeah i see potential in people and i see potential in everyone and I don't know there's something about me that just know that you can do whatever you want to do and as usual it's always easier to say and easier to see it to people than to yourself so and it just comes as I say like yeah I can relate to that because I feel that

• Speaker #0

  uh when we started to work together this is really what i could see in you uh really your capacity to see um beyond yeah you have a place yeah you have a place in this world and you have a place wherever you want to like uh insert yourself into you have your place and uh even if you don't know it even though you're not sure of it um you can just also just try Try because you'll be surprised, I think.

• Speaker #1

  And I think this has been your journey because what I think we can say about coaches is that we happen to coach people who've been through what we've been through as well. So, and for me, you totally embody this self-expression because of who you are, of what your vibe is, and you're fully, you're Gabby, you know, and the name of your...

• Speaker #0

  company is chemsy coaching with a chemsy means my son right so chemsy means like solar someone that's like really solar solar yeah yeah and um and yeah i don't know i feel like um i wouldn't say this to myself but all my life people said that i'm very like i shine or like i'm a solar person and you are yeah i i hear it honestly but like uh yeah People said a lot about me that I have like this something sunny about me. So that's why I'm like, OK, warm. Apparently I'm warm. So you are. So, yeah. So that's why I Shemsee. And if I can put a little bit of my son into into people like I'm like the happiest person. I really like to hype people up and just and help them organize and go through what they need to go through to get to their goal.

• Speaker #1

  And get to their own sun, actually. Yeah, yeah. Actually, yeah.

• Speaker #0

  It's actually about finding their own solar system or their own sun. Actually, yeah, you're totally right.

• Speaker #1

  Thanks so much, Gabby, for sharing your journey with us and your tips. You follow Gabrielle on Instagram at chemsy.coaching and you will discover our website that you will find the description of this episode. Thanks, Gabby. Thank you so much. That was really fun. Bye.