Dear Bri: Community Strategy, Fiascos, and Drama

How do I stop comparing myself to others? With Charmaine Jennings, Founder & CEO of Strategic Charm

49min | 07/01/2025

Description

In this episode, we’re hearing from The Jealous Host. Our letter today deals with a community builder stuck in a comparison spiral, whose insecurities are taking the wheel and making them feel like they're competing with community members and other communities, and falling short.

To better help The Jealous Host, I invited Charmaine Jennings as my guest. Like me, she's no stranger to this conundrum. She founded Hustle + Charm, a supportive in-person community for women and nonbinary entrepreneurs focused on life, business, and career growth.

Since Charmaine was going down a community comparison spiral of her own, and she was brave enough to open up and share her experience with us, we were able to turn this episode into a live coaching session using The Work of Byron Katie.

Tune in for several tools EVERY community builder needs in their toolkit for this good, hard work of community building.

In this episode:

(03:43) The communitea: The Jealous Host’s letter

(06:13) Reframe the feeling of being behind your community members' growth

(10:29) Charmaine's in-person community: Hustle + Charm

(13:12) How Bri and Charmaine experience their community comparison spirals

(17:18) Distill the belief created by comparison

(19:21) The Work: four questions to challenge your belief

(27:04) The Work: turn around your belief

(34:28) The value of this inquiry process for navigating your stubborn thoughts

(38:04) The comparison syndrome from Charmaine's standpoint

(39:57) Understand what to focus your energy on with the three types of judgments

(44:56) The impact of inherited bias judgment

Resources Mentioned:

📝 Learn more about Byron Katie's process of self-inquiry.

🎧 Catch up with Eric Plantenberg's Dear Bri episode.

❤️ Sign up for Heartbeat. Bri’s recommended all-in-one community platform.

💛 Join Ember. The place for go-getter community creators building community-powered businesses.

Charmaine Jennings

🖥️ Website

📱 LinkedIn

Bri Leever

🖥️ Website

📩 Newsletter

📹 Youtube

📱LinkedIn

Want your story to be next? Submit an anonymous letter about your community conundrum, fiasco, drama, or other dilemma here.

*Dear Bri is produced by Ideablossoms.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Dear Bri: Community Strategy, Fiascos, and Drama

Welcome to Dear Bri, an advice column for community conundrums, fiascos, and drama! In each episode, host and community strategist Bri Leever invites a guest community expert to respond to an anonymous letter from a real-life community creator in distress.

From online community-building mishaps to community engagement tactics gone awry, this podcast delivers relatable stories and sound community strategy for navigating the chaos of digital communities—all with empathy, expertise, and a touch of drama.

The mission? Helping community managers and community creators feel a little less crazy and a lot less alone while building thriving brand communities.

You're in the right place if you are...

🐣 Community Curious:

Creators or brands exploring the benefits of a community-powered business. Learn the fundamentals of community strategy for online businesses, and discover how to build an online community from scratch.

🐥 Community Hatchlings:

Newcomers to community building seeking guidance and support. Get tips on how to grow a paid community, avoid common mistakes in community building, and build trust through smart community roles and responsibilities.

🦅 Senior Community Folks:

Seasoned pros facing complex dilemmas. Explore topics like managing community drama, setting boundaries in digital communities, and advanced community retention strategies.

Dear Bri combines relatable storytelling with expert community strategy, making it a unique and valuable resource for community managers and creators. Episodes provide the most up-to-date community management practices, common mistakes to avoid in community building, the best community engagement tactics I've seen, tips on setting boundaries and building trust in online communities, and of course, a touch of community drama to keep things interesting and fun!

Community creators listening to Dear Bri will feel a little less alone in the important work of community building and a whole lot less crazy as each episode normalizes and provides strategic insights for some of the toughest online community scenarios.

Whether you're curious about building a community, just starting out, or a seasoned professional looking for advanced advice, Dear Bri has something for you. Episodes drop weekly on Tuesday. Hit the follow button so you don't miss out!

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Dear Bri: Community Strategy, Fiascos, and Drama

Welcome to Dear Bri, an advice column for community conundrums, fiascos, and drama! In each episode, host and community strategist Bri Leever invites a guest community expert to respond to an anonymous letter from a real-life community creator in distress.

From online community-building mishaps to community engagement tactics gone awry, this podcast delivers relatable stories and sound community strategy for navigating the chaos of digital communities—all with empathy, expertise, and a touch of drama.

The mission? Helping community managers and community creators feel a little less crazy and a lot less alone while building thriving brand communities.

You're in the right place if you are...

🐣 Community Curious:

Creators or brands exploring the benefits of a community-powered business. Learn the fundamentals of community strategy for online businesses, and discover how to build an online community from scratch.

🐥 Community Hatchlings:

Newcomers to community building seeking guidance and support. Get tips on how to grow a paid community, avoid common mistakes in community building, and build trust through smart community roles and responsibilities.

🦅 Senior Community Folks:

Seasoned pros facing complex dilemmas. Explore topics like managing community drama, setting boundaries in digital communities, and advanced community retention strategies.

Dear Bri combines relatable storytelling with expert community strategy, making it a unique and valuable resource for community managers and creators. Episodes provide the most up-to-date community management practices, common mistakes to avoid in community building, the best community engagement tactics I've seen, tips on setting boundaries and building trust in online communities, and of course, a touch of community drama to keep things interesting and fun!

Community creators listening to Dear Bri will feel a little less alone in the important work of community building and a whole lot less crazy as each episode normalizes and provides strategic insights for some of the toughest online community scenarios.

Whether you're curious about building a community, just starting out, or a seasoned professional looking for advanced advice, Dear Bri has something for you. Episodes drop weekly on Tuesday. Hit the follow button so you don't miss out!

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

In this episode, we’re hearing from The Jealous Host. Our letter today deals with a community builder stuck in a comparison spiral, whose insecurities are taking the wheel and making them feel like they're competing with community members and other communities, and falling short.

To better help The Jealous Host, I invited Charmaine Jennings as my guest. Like me, she's no stranger to this conundrum. She founded Hustle + Charm, a supportive in-person community for women and nonbinary entrepreneurs focused on life, business, and career growth.

Since Charmaine was going down a community comparison spiral of her own, and she was brave enough to open up and share her experience with us, we were able to turn this episode into a live coaching session using The Work of Byron Katie.

Tune in for several tools EVERY community builder needs in their toolkit for this good, hard work of community building.

In this episode:

(03:43) The communitea: The Jealous Host’s letter

(06:13) Reframe the feeling of being behind your community members' growth

(10:29) Charmaine's in-person community: Hustle + Charm

(13:12) How Bri and Charmaine experience their community comparison spirals

(17:18) Distill the belief created by comparison

(19:21) The Work: four questions to challenge your belief

(27:04) The Work: turn around your belief

(34:28) The value of this inquiry process for navigating your stubborn thoughts

(38:04) The comparison syndrome from Charmaine's standpoint

(39:57) Understand what to focus your energy on with the three types of judgments

(44:56) The impact of inherited bias judgment

Resources Mentioned:

📝 Learn more about Byron Katie's process of self-inquiry.

🎧 Catch up with Eric Plantenberg's Dear Bri episode.

❤️ Sign up for Heartbeat. Bri’s recommended all-in-one community platform.

💛 Join Ember. The place for go-getter community creators building community-powered businesses.

Charmaine Jennings

🖥️ Website

📱 LinkedIn

Bri Leever

🖥️ Website

📩 Newsletter

📹 Youtube

📱LinkedIn

Want your story to be next? Submit an anonymous letter about your community conundrum, fiasco, drama, or other dilemma here.

*Dear Bri is produced by Ideablossoms.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Dear Bri: Community Strategy, Fiascos, and Drama

Welcome to Dear Bri, an advice column for community conundrums, fiascos, and drama! In each episode, host and community strategist Bri Leever invites a guest community expert to respond to an anonymous letter from a real-life community creator in distress.

From online community-building mishaps to community engagement tactics gone awry, this podcast delivers relatable stories and sound community strategy for navigating the chaos of digital communities—all with empathy, expertise, and a touch of drama.

The mission? Helping community managers and community creators feel a little less crazy and a lot less alone while building thriving brand communities.

You're in the right place if you are...

🐣 Community Curious:

Creators or brands exploring the benefits of a community-powered business. Learn the fundamentals of community strategy for online businesses, and discover how to build an online community from scratch.

🐥 Community Hatchlings:

Newcomers to community building seeking guidance and support. Get tips on how to grow a paid community, avoid common mistakes in community building, and build trust through smart community roles and responsibilities.

🦅 Senior Community Folks:

Seasoned pros facing complex dilemmas. Explore topics like managing community drama, setting boundaries in digital communities, and advanced community retention strategies.

Dear Bri combines relatable storytelling with expert community strategy, making it a unique and valuable resource for community managers and creators. Episodes provide the most up-to-date community management practices, common mistakes to avoid in community building, the best community engagement tactics I've seen, tips on setting boundaries and building trust in online communities, and of course, a touch of community drama to keep things interesting and fun!

Community creators listening to Dear Bri will feel a little less alone in the important work of community building and a whole lot less crazy as each episode normalizes and provides strategic insights for some of the toughest online community scenarios.

Whether you're curious about building a community, just starting out, or a seasoned professional looking for advanced advice, Dear Bri has something for you. Episodes drop weekly on Tuesday. Hit the follow button so you don't miss out!

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Dear Bri: Community Strategy, Fiascos, and Drama

Welcome to Dear Bri, an advice column for community conundrums, fiascos, and drama! In each episode, host and community strategist Bri Leever invites a guest community expert to respond to an anonymous letter from a real-life community creator in distress.

From online community-building mishaps to community engagement tactics gone awry, this podcast delivers relatable stories and sound community strategy for navigating the chaos of digital communities—all with empathy, expertise, and a touch of drama.

The mission? Helping community managers and community creators feel a little less crazy and a lot less alone while building thriving brand communities.

You're in the right place if you are...

🐣 Community Curious:

Creators or brands exploring the benefits of a community-powered business. Learn the fundamentals of community strategy for online businesses, and discover how to build an online community from scratch.

🐥 Community Hatchlings:

Newcomers to community building seeking guidance and support. Get tips on how to grow a paid community, avoid common mistakes in community building, and build trust through smart community roles and responsibilities.

🦅 Senior Community Folks:

Seasoned pros facing complex dilemmas. Explore topics like managing community drama, setting boundaries in digital communities, and advanced community retention strategies.

Dear Bri combines relatable storytelling with expert community strategy, making it a unique and valuable resource for community managers and creators. Episodes provide the most up-to-date community management practices, common mistakes to avoid in community building, the best community engagement tactics I've seen, tips on setting boundaries and building trust in online communities, and of course, a touch of community drama to keep things interesting and fun!

Community creators listening to Dear Bri will feel a little less alone in the important work of community building and a whole lot less crazy as each episode normalizes and provides strategic insights for some of the toughest online community scenarios.

Whether you're curious about building a community, just starting out, or a seasoned professional looking for advanced advice, Dear Bri has something for you. Episodes drop weekly on Tuesday. Hit the follow button so you don't miss out!

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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