How Men Over 40 Can Suffer Less and Be Happier More After Divorce: Wisdom from a Part-Time Monk 🧘‍♂️✨

32min | 07/21/2025

Description

Welcome back to the Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast! In this episode, host David sits down with the inspiring Tim Tamashiro—bestselling author, keynote speaker, and part-time monk—to explore how men over 40 can truly heal and find purpose after divorce. If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or just plain tired of suffering, this conversation is for you. 🧘‍♂️💬

Why Do We Suffer So Much After Divorce?

Tim shares his own journey through a recent divorce after 28 years of marriage, revealing how suffering is a natural part of life—but it doesn’t have to define you. Drawing from ancient Buddhist wisdom, neuroscience, and his own “part-time monk” mindset, Tim explains the concept of the “second arrow”: while the first arrow (divorce) is unavoidable, the second arrow (repeated suffering) is optional. Learn how to stop picking the scab and start healing for real. 🩹

Rediscovering Purpose with Ikigai.

Many men define themselves by their roles as husbands and fathers. After divorce, it’s easy to feel lost. Tim introduces the Japanese concept of Ikigai—your reason for being—and shows how curiosity, wonder, and self-compassion can help you redefine your identity and find new meaning in life, even after 40. 🌱

Practical Tools for Healing

Mindfulness & Meditation: Learn how to shift from your “default brain” (the old, reactive part) to your “design brain” (the mindful, intentional part).
Humor as Medicine: David and Tim share how laughter—even at the absurdity of divorce—can be a powerful tool for healing and releasing anger.
Letting Go of Control: Struggling with what happens at your ex’s house? Tim shares the Buddhist parable of the second arrow and offers actionable advice for releasing the need to control what you can’t.
Therapy & Positive Psychology: Why seeking help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce Tim and David discuss how divorce, while painful, can also be a chance to reinvent yourself, rediscover what makes you happy, and build a life that’s truly yours. From enjoying the little things (like a spoon left on the counter!) to embracing change, this episode is packed with hope and practical wisdom. 🌟

Join the Conversation! How have you found purpose or healing after divorce? What’s your “second arrow,” and how are you learning to let it go? Drop a comment below and share your story—your experience could help another man on his journey. 👇

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss an episode of Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast. If you want to share your story or have a question for David, leave it in the comments!

Remember: Suffer less, happy more. Let’s heal together! 💬🧘‍♂️

Tim on YouTube

#DivorceRecovery #MenOver40 #DontPickTheScab #Ikigai #HealingAfterDivorce

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About DON'T PICK THE SCAB PODCAST

Success, Divorce, and Reinvention—You’re Not Alone.

Divorce can shake even the most accomplished men to their core, no matter their age or status. The end of a marriage is often an emotionally and mentally taxing experience, especially for successful men who are accustomed to thriving in other areas of life. That’s why the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" is here: a safe, open platform where successful men recovering from divorce can share their stories, find support, and gain practical tools for rebuilding.

Success doesn’t make divorce any easier. When you’re used to winning, starting over—emotionally, financially, and socially—can feel like uncharted territory. The challenges of re-establishing your identity and navigating new roles after a significant breakup are real, but you don’t have to face them alone.

Each episode dives into authentic conversations with men who have walked this path—from entrepreneurs and executives, to leaders in their fields. We explore the unique hurdles successful men encounter during divorce, from managing public perception and careers to processing the deeply personal emotions of grief, regret, anger, and hope. Alongside expert guests, we offer practical advice and proven strategies for healing and growth.

This podcast is about more than just surviving divorce—it’s about thriving in your next chapter. Through shared experiences and actionable insights, "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" aims to help you rediscover meaning, rebuild confidence, and create a life filled with new possibilities.

Join us each week as we walk the road to recovery, together. Let’s break the stigma, embrace vulnerability, and support one another on the journey to a brighter, more successful future after divorce.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About DON'T PICK THE SCAB PODCAST

Success, Divorce, and Reinvention—You’re Not Alone.

Divorce can shake even the most accomplished men to their core, no matter their age or status. The end of a marriage is often an emotionally and mentally taxing experience, especially for successful men who are accustomed to thriving in other areas of life. That’s why the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" is here: a safe, open platform where successful men recovering from divorce can share their stories, find support, and gain practical tools for rebuilding.

Success doesn’t make divorce any easier. When you’re used to winning, starting over—emotionally, financially, and socially—can feel like uncharted territory. The challenges of re-establishing your identity and navigating new roles after a significant breakup are real, but you don’t have to face them alone.

Each episode dives into authentic conversations with men who have walked this path—from entrepreneurs and executives, to leaders in their fields. We explore the unique hurdles successful men encounter during divorce, from managing public perception and careers to processing the deeply personal emotions of grief, regret, anger, and hope. Alongside expert guests, we offer practical advice and proven strategies for healing and growth.

This podcast is about more than just surviving divorce—it’s about thriving in your next chapter. Through shared experiences and actionable insights, "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" aims to help you rediscover meaning, rebuild confidence, and create a life filled with new possibilities.

Join us each week as we walk the road to recovery, together. Let’s break the stigma, embrace vulnerability, and support one another on the journey to a brighter, more successful future after divorce.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

Welcome back to the Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast! In this episode, host David sits down with the inspiring Tim Tamashiro—bestselling author, keynote speaker, and part-time monk—to explore how men over 40 can truly heal and find purpose after divorce. If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or just plain tired of suffering, this conversation is for you. 🧘‍♂️💬

Why Do We Suffer So Much After Divorce?

Tim shares his own journey through a recent divorce after 28 years of marriage, revealing how suffering is a natural part of life—but it doesn’t have to define you. Drawing from ancient Buddhist wisdom, neuroscience, and his own “part-time monk” mindset, Tim explains the concept of the “second arrow”: while the first arrow (divorce) is unavoidable, the second arrow (repeated suffering) is optional. Learn how to stop picking the scab and start healing for real. 🩹

Rediscovering Purpose with Ikigai.

Many men define themselves by their roles as husbands and fathers. After divorce, it’s easy to feel lost. Tim introduces the Japanese concept of Ikigai—your reason for being—and shows how curiosity, wonder, and self-compassion can help you redefine your identity and find new meaning in life, even after 40. 🌱

Practical Tools for Healing

Mindfulness & Meditation: Learn how to shift from your “default brain” (the old, reactive part) to your “design brain” (the mindful, intentional part).
Humor as Medicine: David and Tim share how laughter—even at the absurdity of divorce—can be a powerful tool for healing and releasing anger.
Letting Go of Control: Struggling with what happens at your ex’s house? Tim shares the Buddhist parable of the second arrow and offers actionable advice for releasing the need to control what you can’t.
Therapy & Positive Psychology: Why seeking help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce Tim and David discuss how divorce, while painful, can also be a chance to reinvent yourself, rediscover what makes you happy, and build a life that’s truly yours. From enjoying the little things (like a spoon left on the counter!) to embracing change, this episode is packed with hope and practical wisdom. 🌟

Join the Conversation! How have you found purpose or healing after divorce? What’s your “second arrow,” and how are you learning to let it go? Drop a comment below and share your story—your experience could help another man on his journey. 👇

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss an episode of Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast. If you want to share your story or have a question for David, leave it in the comments!

Remember: Suffer less, happy more. Let’s heal together! 💬🧘‍♂️

Tim on YouTube

#DivorceRecovery #MenOver40 #DontPickTheScab #Ikigai #HealingAfterDivorce

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About DON'T PICK THE SCAB PODCAST

Success, Divorce, and Reinvention—You’re Not Alone.

Divorce can shake even the most accomplished men to their core, no matter their age or status. The end of a marriage is often an emotionally and mentally taxing experience, especially for successful men who are accustomed to thriving in other areas of life. That’s why the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" is here: a safe, open platform where successful men recovering from divorce can share their stories, find support, and gain practical tools for rebuilding.

Success doesn’t make divorce any easier. When you’re used to winning, starting over—emotionally, financially, and socially—can feel like uncharted territory. The challenges of re-establishing your identity and navigating new roles after a significant breakup are real, but you don’t have to face them alone.

Each episode dives into authentic conversations with men who have walked this path—from entrepreneurs and executives, to leaders in their fields. We explore the unique hurdles successful men encounter during divorce, from managing public perception and careers to processing the deeply personal emotions of grief, regret, anger, and hope. Alongside expert guests, we offer practical advice and proven strategies for healing and growth.

This podcast is about more than just surviving divorce—it’s about thriving in your next chapter. Through shared experiences and actionable insights, "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" aims to help you rediscover meaning, rebuild confidence, and create a life filled with new possibilities.

Join us each week as we walk the road to recovery, together. Let’s break the stigma, embrace vulnerability, and support one another on the journey to a brighter, more successful future after divorce.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About DON'T PICK THE SCAB PODCAST

Success, Divorce, and Reinvention—You’re Not Alone.

Divorce can shake even the most accomplished men to their core, no matter their age or status. The end of a marriage is often an emotionally and mentally taxing experience, especially for successful men who are accustomed to thriving in other areas of life. That’s why the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" is here: a safe, open platform where successful men recovering from divorce can share their stories, find support, and gain practical tools for rebuilding.

Success doesn’t make divorce any easier. When you’re used to winning, starting over—emotionally, financially, and socially—can feel like uncharted territory. The challenges of re-establishing your identity and navigating new roles after a significant breakup are real, but you don’t have to face them alone.

Each episode dives into authentic conversations with men who have walked this path—from entrepreneurs and executives, to leaders in their fields. We explore the unique hurdles successful men encounter during divorce, from managing public perception and careers to processing the deeply personal emotions of grief, regret, anger, and hope. Alongside expert guests, we offer practical advice and proven strategies for healing and growth.

This podcast is about more than just surviving divorce—it’s about thriving in your next chapter. Through shared experiences and actionable insights, "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast" aims to help you rediscover meaning, rebuild confidence, and create a life filled with new possibilities.

Join us each week as we walk the road to recovery, together. Let’s break the stigma, embrace vulnerability, and support one another on the journey to a brighter, more successful future after divorce.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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