Description
Welcome to the Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast! I’m David, and in this powerful episode, I sit down with therapist and coach Justin Sunseri to tackle the REAL issues men face after divorce—especially men over 40. If you’re feeling “broken” after the end of your marriage, you’re not alone… but what if you’re not actually broken? What if you’re just stuck? 💡
Justin Sunseri has been helping men heal and rebuild since 2007. He specializes in trauma recovery, substance use, relationship issues, and self-harm, and his practical, no-psychobabble approach makes mental health accessible to ALL men. In this episode, we break down:
💥 Why Men Over 40 Struggle with Divorce Trauma
Men often aren’t taught to talk about emotions, making it hard to reach out for help after divorce. Justin explains how years—even decades—of emotional shutdown can build up and erupt during and after divorce, leaving you feeling isolated, hopeless, or stuck in unhelpful patterns.
🧠 Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Safety vs. Danger
Justin simplifies polyvagal theory to show how your nervous system controls your emotions and reactions. Are you in a state of safety (able to connect, laugh, and move forward) or danger (stuck in fight, flight, or shutdown)? Your body’s state drives your thoughts and behaviors—so real recovery starts with the body.
🚩 How Trauma Shows Up After Divorce
Trauma isn’t just about obvious things like drinking or anger outbursts. It can look like isolating, dating too soon, or feeling numb and detached. Justin shares how these are signs of being “stuck,” not “broken”—and why context matters. You can feel different in therapy, at home, or with friends. That’s proof you can change.
🛠️ Simple, Actionable Tools for Recovery
One Minute Check-In: Give yourself permission to feel, just for a minute a day—no masking, no judgment.
Nature Breaks: Stop and notice the sky or touch a tree for 30 seconds. These mini “workouts” for your nervous system add up over time.
Baby Steps: Like building muscle, emotional regulation is a skill—start small, be consistent, and you’ll see change.
🔑 Breaking the Cycle: You’re Stuck, Not Broken
The biggest lie is that you’re “broken.” The truth? You’re just stuck in a defensive state—one you can absolutely move through with the right tools and support. Justin’s mission is to empower men to recognize this and reclaim their emotional freedom.
👀 What’s been YOUR biggest challenge post-divorce? How have you felt “stuck”—and what’s worked for you? Drop a comment below—we want to hear YOUR story!
👍 Like, subscribe, and share if you found this helpful. New episodes every week to help men over 40 thrive after divorce.
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