Speaker #0I want to actually make a difference in the world. I want to do things that really matter for my community. I'd like to tackle things that seem important to me and that I'm worried about for my family. Can't tell my daughter. Mummy didn't try to do anything. Those are the words of someone I was speaking with this week describing their motivation for pursuing a regenerative career. That is the level of passion and commitment and frankly daring that people bring to the pursuit of regenerative work. It's beautiful to witness. But explaining that conviction and motivation to our partners or families can be really challenging, particularly if they are not immersed in the same learning and thinking and communities that we are. People understandably can get really stuck at this point. They're longing to make a contribution, but they don't know how to get their loved ones on board. That's you. In today's episode, I'm going to share my experience with my husband. and offer a passion-first approach to these critical conversations. Welcome to the Regenerative Work Life podcast. If you are ready to make the leap out of your corporate job and into purposeful regenerative work, this is the show for you. As you've probably discovered, transitioning into regenerative work is a lot more complicated than going on a job board and sending off your CV. This journey you are embarking on means taking risks, going against the grain, overcoming challenges, and writing your own script. It takes entrepreneurial muscle, powerful vision, and a willingness to change. Having a mentor by your side makes all the difference. I am your host, Alyssa Murphy. I have worked with hundreds of impact-focused businesses and individuals, and I am here to help you. Let's take things one step at a time as I show you how to quit corporate, find your vision and successfully transition into regenerative work. Here we go. I've recently started with two new clients who are working with me inside of my six-month regenerative career transition program. Both of them told me that their partners shared their excitement and energy around starting on coaching and it was such a lovely thing to hear. In one case this client had been finding a way to work with me for nearly a year and their husband was just so pleased that she'd finally got there and found a way to make that investment for herself. In the other case my client had actually shared some of the support messages which are voice notes that we leave for each other between sessions and she'd fed back that their partner had really liked hearing my advice and that my approach had really resonated for them. And this, as I said, was just lovely feedback. And it gave me such confidence in the success of the process that these clients are entering into because they're doing it in partnership. They're doing it in relationship. And this journey, which for these clients means coming out of a corporate background and pursuing a regenerative vision for themselves, which may mean starting a regenerative business or. you know freelancing as in a regenerative space or potentially you know retraining or definitely taking a different career track there's going to be a lot of changes that come with that and it's going to be changes not just for them but for their relationship their partnership and for their families and knowing that those clients are coming into that with the support of their partners just really inspires me for what is going to be possible for them But what do you do when those critical conversations with partners feel really hard, as they often do? Maybe they even feel impossible. I know that that's the case for many of you. And often the crux of that difficulty comes down to money. How on earth do you ask your partner to accept lifestyle changes or risk that may well be a part of the transition into regenerative work, even if it's only temporary? How do you explain how passionately you feel about doing work that genuinely creates impact and brings you joy and satisfaction if you don't yet know exactly what that work looks like? And what if your partner isn't doing that kind of work and isn't on that kind of journey? What if perhaps you've always been the main earner for your family and they depend on you to keep things rolling at home? Maybe you feel like you have to justify. what you're doing or sell it to others or somehow convince them. Critical conversations with partners and families are an essential part of a regenerative career transition and in today's episode I'm going to offer an approach for opening those conversations with sensitivity and conviction. Now every relationship will be unique and of course you will know what is best for you and your loved ones but I hope that today I can offer some inspiration that might just give you the courage and confidence to pursue the things you love. Before I go any further, I feel that I should share a bit about the support that I get from my husband in my career. And I've got to tell you, I am incredibly fortunate. My husband and I have actually been together since I was 20 years old, and I was a completely different person. I have been through some very dramatic career changes specifically since that time. And somehow he has. implicitly supported me every single time and we're talking about we were both actors when we first met and I remember him supporting me when I first realized that I wasn't gonna be able to pay the bills with acting and I was gonna have to find some kind of work having never really had a job other than waitressing in my life and feeling like I just wasn't qualified to do anything and it helped me to find those first temporary jobs and actually find really flexible work that allowed me to go to auditions and do acting jobs as they came up and then having found that really flexible work to then take the decision a few years later to leave that job and join of all things an election campaign for an independent candidate that just kind of came out of nowhere we knew very little about and just felt to me like something I was going to be really challenged by and really wanted to stretch myself and see if I could do it. And then two weeks later, realising that the campaign was absolutely not what I thought it was going to be, and wanting to make the transition out of that and all kinds of steps to thinking about starting my own agency. And then as soon as that agency started being given the opportunity to become the CEO of a clean energy startup, taking that leap, leaving... acting completely behind. Two years later, realising that I needed to be working for myself, I needed to be building a company culture the way that felt right to me and actually starting that agency with no contacts, you know, no money, no uncertainty or predictability whatsoever, just blind faith that I could do it. Doing it, by the way, at a time of financial recession. And then as that business grew, all kinds of changes kept coming. The time that we realized we were going to need to move to Germany as I was setting up the agency over there. And then years later, making the decision to sell my company to my team and leaving all that I had built behind me and entering a completely unknown new chapter of my life. What I like to call the wilderness years where I was training as a coach. holding retreats and just exploring and feeling very lost a lot of the time whilst there was also a lot of joy and then eventually coming around to creating regenerative work life and starting this coaching business in regenerative careers. A lot of change, a lot of transition, a lot of uncertainty and each of those pivot points, I really cannot stress this enough, came with very very little financial security. Up until to be transparent selling my company when of course I had the income coming from that. But really up until that point, so nearly 20 years of my career, every time that change that I wanted to make meant leaving behind something reasonably secure and immersing myself completely in the unknown. And oftentimes from my husband's perspective. There was, I don't know if sacrifice is actually the right word, but there were certainly changes that he needed to be made, lifestyle shifts that he had to be on board with, particularly the many times when he has been the primary carer for our children and the fact that he's had to put his own career as an actor on the back burner in order to support me. Now, is he superhuman? No. Is he my superpower? He's definitely part of it. And I quite simply could not do what I do without him. I've been in so many situations like when my, you know, my children were babies, and I would, I don't know, be at some event or conference in Europe with my babies at home. And people will be saying, how do you do this? The answer was always Kevin, my husband, I couldn't do it without him. But when I was reflecting on the nature of the support, that I get from Kevin. I used this word earlier, it's an implicit support and this might just be unique to our dynamic but he, and this leads me into my first suggestion for approaching these conversations with your partner, when I say that his support is implicit what I mean is that he's not fully engaged with what I'm doing, he doesn't know every single detail. He's not immersed in the same worlds that I am. He's not doing the same courses I am doing. He's not having the same conversations that I'm having. In some cases, he may not really have a full understanding of what it is that I want to do. But he's supporting me because, cheesy line coming up, because he loves me. Now, I say this because... My experience tells me that the most effective way to get our partners on board with major career change and pursuing regenerative visions for our work is to root that conversation in love. The most likely reason they will agree to lifestyle changes or uncertainty or even risk is because one, they love you, and two, they can see how much you love the ideas and the possibilities. and the solutions that you are pursuing. Now my hunch is that many of you may not be approaching these conversations in this way. I suspect you may be approaching them in a much more logical, rational, and even business-like way. Maybe the same way that you might discuss making an investment decision, perhaps. But if we frame the conversation that way, I think we're setting ourselves up. for difficulty, if not failure. Because regenerative work, when taken at face value, when kind of understood from a distance, it's not the logical choice. Now, yes, if we expand our thinking and our awareness to encompass system and planetary collapse, then it is the only choice. The chances are your partner isn't thinking that way. The chances are that this feels like a decision that's very much rooted in the here and now, and that they are seeing stable, reliable income on the one hand, and total unknown on the other. It's very understandable that they would have a lot of trepidation, scepticism, doubt, or confusion about why you want to make that leap. So perhaps there are two choices. You can, of course, try to educate them on the bigger picture. You can have conversations about things like planetary boundaries, colonialism and corporatisation, modern monetary theory and so on. Or you can simply say, this is something I feel so strongly about. I am pulled towards this in a way that I haven't experienced before. Every fibre of my body is telling me that I need to take a new direction and find something that is fully aligned with who I am. and what I believe. And honestly, I don't know exactly what that is yet, but I have to find out. Now we're having a conversation on a cellular level. Now we're one consciousness speaking to another consciousness. Do you see? And I know this isn't a movie, okay? It doesn't mean that financial realities disappear, but you can sort those out later. The first step is asking your partner to enroll in this emerging vision that you have, to say yes to your journey and your dream and to trust you and trust the process. That's a big, big ask, but it's also an incredibly powerful and life-changing ask for you both. So from that point, from that commitment and that connection, you can sit down and go into the details. And you can work out when is the best time to do this, on what kind of time scale, what income needs will you still have, what changes are they willing to make, what boundaries do they want to put in place. But honestly, that part really is details, even if it feels heavy right now. Once you have them by your side on this journey, you can take care of the details together. So lead with love, lead with passion and be honest about the lack of clarity and the uncertainty. Start to build out a plan for yourself as to what resources and support you're going to have on this journey so that you can share that with your partner. Don't feel like you need to fake it. Be honest. I am stepping into the unknown, but I have this community to support me or this person to guide me or this program to educate me. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than watching someone you love discover themselves, forge their own path, and find their voice. And that's why partners are such an integral part of this process. So let's summarize. our discussion today. Number one, partners are a critical part of this journey. Of course, you can do it alone. Your circumstances may be that you have to, but I believe it's really worth the effort and maybe fear and discomfort of having these conversations with your loved ones and having them on board. Two, root your conversation in love and passion, not logic or education. Speak from your heart and don't approach this as a business decision. Yes. I know even if ultimately it is one. Number three, be honest about the uncertainty, possible risk and nervousness you may feel. Four, focus on making that commitment together and let the details be details. You can work those out together. You probably work that kind of thing out every single day. Before we finish, I know this might be a tricky area for you. Maybe you don't have a partner that these conversations come naturally with. Maybe you want to talk, but you feel that you need to focus on your own fear and self-doubt first. I know that the more clarity and confidence you have about the path ahead of you, the easier these conversations become. Imagine talking all of this through with someone who has been on the same journey. That's me. Imagine getting honest feedback. practical guidance and accountability to step into your regenerative career with energy and excitement. That is exactly what I do inside my two-week regenerative coaching offer. I want you to visit regenerativeworklife.com forward slash discovery to set up a call with me and we'll talk through the support that I can offer you. Thanks for listening. I offer you courage and conviction as you approach these conversations and I'll see you back here next week. Thank you for listening to the Regenerative Worklife Podcast. It's time to put what you learned today into practice. Remember, you were called to this work for good reason. Nature needs each and every one of us and you can do this. If today's episode has been helpful, please take the time to share it with someone who needs a little guidance in stepping out of corporate and into regenerative. Learn more about how I can help you find your vision for a work I filled with purpose. impactandjoyatregenerativeworklife.com and connect with me on LinkedIn. Just search Alyssa Murphy. I'll see you back here soon for the next episode.
