65 | When It’s Time to Give Up on Your Marriage

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Speaker #0
Have you ever felt like the harder you try, the worse it gets and you just can't seem to communicate with your partner? If you're wondering if it's time to call it quits, today is your day because we're having an open and honest faith-filled conversation on navigating the tough moments in your relationship. And we're going to dive into the signs that your efforts might not be paying off and when it's time to consider other options. Get your answers you need coming up right now. Welcome to this week's episode of the Home to Haven podcast, where we are married and growing in communication. We're so thankful, so happy you've joined us this week on the episode. Hey, it's a new week. We are Terrell and Jen Turner, and we are helping you communicate in your relationship. This is your home for everything that you need faith-filled to. grow in communication with your partner so thanks for tuning in on the podcast on youtube happy you're here yeah so glad you've joined us today happy to have you it is mid-july it is mid july when we're filming this and recording this and so hope you have a wonderful summer it is hot i guess they say hot as balls but it is absolutely hot there's been no rain it's been 12 it is it has been a minute we actually had a wonderful time um you know we try to help navigate a relationship a marriage work responsibilities and family raising two twins and so we had a family night a few weeks ago that was super fun family fun night we did that we went to a uh charlotte fc's soccer game yeah and so if you'd like to see that i'm going to put the description in below we've got a brand new playlist on the channel where we're going to take you into our lives and let you see how we go on trips and this is what we do as a normal everyday family and how we manage how we balance all the different assets of our lives we're teaching you how we do it that's right they can be done we're not perfect of course but hopefully check that out and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any video again we'll link to the short fc game I'm going to call Olible right quick because I want to lead into this topic about when to give up. Just before we press record to sit down and record this podcast, Jen was having some technical difficulties. with her ipad and her technology we have a piece of software that we use for all of our notes everything for all of our episodes are laid out in this particular we use notion and she's got a separate notion for her personal life and you are trying you know i've got it to where we can switch back and twin between workspaces it's very cool but one of the issues with technology is that you have to log in log out authenticate sso you
Speaker #1
codes uh too much way too much we talked about this a little bit a couple episodes we did okay when i was trying to log in that time because i was using a new piece of technology like we had bought a new ipad okay and so This time around,
Speaker #0
I was already discusses on the podcast a little bit.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So you,
Speaker #1
so you've continued to have issues because it should not be hard to log into a program when you have a username and password. It should be, it's not like I forgot my password, forgot my username, but it's not that simple these days.
Speaker #0
So I get that. And you were very frustrated and you were like, I just, I'm quitting. I'm tapping out. I'm stopping. And I was like, no. Like, number one, I'm not going to let this, I don't personally want anything to beat me. I don't want anything to beat me. And I'm like, it can't be that hard. And so turns out you were experiencing some issues that you actually didn't have to experience.
Speaker #1
Correct.
Speaker #0
Because there is a way you can log in through your Google account. And because you were using your Google Gmail, it was asking you for all these different things. Whereas if you just sign in with Google, it was one and done. And so that led me into today's episode of when is it time to give up communicating with your partner? Like you are just trying all these different methods and you were trying, you were just, I can't seem to get this to work. It won't give me the code. I got the code. Now I got to look at my phone. Now my phone's going. It shouldn't be this way. It's hitting me this hard. I've got my Mac, my phone, and my iPad. They're right here. They're all three together.
Speaker #1
Doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker #0
And nothing was working. And you're like, I call it quits. It's like, wait a minute, hold it before you quit. We got to look at what are you doing wrong? Because you're right. It should not be this hard. Right. And so as we're like, I'm trying with this and he won't listen. I'm trying to communicate. That's what we're here for. It's like, let's identify what's happening because you may be feeling today. I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to give up. I'm tapped out. I've tried everything. I'm at my wit's end.
Speaker #1
what do i do torell what do i do jen yeah and so i think that's a great place to start is why are people even feeling that why are people feeling like their communications not working what are yeah what are those pain points yeah the pain points that they're feeling that even that thought crosses their mind that i
Speaker #0
just need to give up so because it can be really challenging absolutely you are at your wits end you're challenged you're like what is going on why because you want to obtain something. You're trying to reach an objective and there's an obstacle that's keeping you from getting that. And so, yes, whether it be your spouse, your kids, your parent, whatever it is, you're trying to communicate or they're not giving you the answer you need. Or when they respond back, it may be with a different tone. It may be passive aggressive. It might be judging. They heard it wrong. They said something wrong. And there's all these different obstacles. That's keeping you and hindering you and preventing you from having that meaningful understanding that we're all longing and looking for.
Speaker #1
A hundred percent. So you might be dealing with the silent or getting the silent treatment, right? You might be getting criticism. You might be getting nothing back when you feel like you're doing everything that you're supposed to be doing. So you may be feeling unheard or you may feel like the other person doesn't care. So why even try? So you're experiencing these negative. things when you feel like you're putting in the effort or you're following things you're that people are suggesting and it's just not working and where do you go from there all right so where do we go from there so number one before you like hey i'm
Speaker #0
quitting i'm out tap tap first we gotta we gotta see are are we doing everything on our part let's let's do some troubleshooting okay right And so what are some ways and what are some things that we can do to try to improve on the communication?
Speaker #1
Right.
Speaker #0
Can I put myself over into their shoes and cross the border? That's going to take humility. Yep. That's going to take selflessness. And that's hard. Right? Because we want our way and we want to be heard. And we want the effort given to us. But sometimes offering that extension. Being the first person laying down yourself and saying, okay, I'm going to be the bigger person and cross the bridge can be what that other person needs to have them drop all that stuff they've got built up in order for there to be compromise, in order for there to be progress to move forward.
Speaker #1
Right. And I feel like sometimes in order to put yourself in the other person's shoes, you need to take. a minute to step back and not be in the moment in the heat of whatever's happening that's not working. Going back to the example when I couldn't log in, like in that moment, right, my emotions are a little bit high. I'm already frustrated. I'm already trying things. That's not maybe the ideal moment, you know, to really be able to say, you know, my example didn't involve another person.
Speaker #0
But it does. It involves us. Right. And so I'm not saying that I'm perfect. And, you know, in this example that I'm going to give you, there was one person who was the bigger person, not saying you were little. Right. But in a moment where you were frustrated. in a moment where you wanted to quit, in a moment where you're like, I can't see this forward, well, one of us was like, hey, wait a minute, let's slow down.
Speaker #1
You were in the position to be able to do that. You were able to say, okay, let's take a step back. You also put yourself in my shoes and you said, I know this can be frustrating. I know you don't think it should have to be this many steps to work. So you're giving me something back. You're also stepping in and saying that you can help. Or hey, look. let me try this out and kind of giving me another solution. Right. So like you said, you are being that person taking those additional steps.
Speaker #0
So it's not like, Hey, adding to the problem. Right. I'm not saying, well, what are you, what are you doing wrong? It worked for me. You must be doing something wrong. Right. So we're not using those you statements. Correct. I'm using an I statement. Hey, let me see what I can do to help you. um i know i've found some so let me you know right so i'm not placing blame or shifting but and if you have that situation you know that's where it really gets dicey yes and again i'm not saying that we're perfect and we've got this marshmallow you know rainbow relationship where you know typically someone's going to be level-headed because had i been that way well that would have shut you down right that would have caused you to be like well who he think he is telling me what I can do. He thinks he's better than me, right? Because I'm belittling.
Speaker #1
More defensive. More defensive. Back and forth.
Speaker #0
So if you have that situation, right, you don't want to be the person that's doing that.
Speaker #1
Correct. Now, also in this situation, I could have gotten up and stormed out of the room, right, and just be done with the conversation, which you might be experiencing.
Speaker #0
I don't need your help.
Speaker #1
Your partner might be doing that. Don't tell me. Right. Shutting it down. Right. Walking away. right i'm not talking to you about this i don't care if you can fix it i don't want to do it right now right and that's a real life example of sure a disagreement where somebody may just have gone off the rails correct very easily very easily and people experience that right you know and so if the other person does walk away or does quit you know in that moment you could have still solved the problem for me without me being there right you could right you
Speaker #0
Right. Well, I was going to say like, okay, you know, if you would have stormed off, you know, give her, give her, let me give you that space. Okay. I'm still not going to quit. I'm not going to give up.
Speaker #1
You're still working on it.
Speaker #0
I'm going to still work on it. Or I'm going to say, you know what, let's come back and revisit this. Right. Okay. So maybe you do need to take a step back and maybe that was your test.
Speaker #1
Breaking point.
Speaker #0
Breaking point at that particular time. But the key that we're trying to make here is that at some point, you know, you're working together. That you don't want to be the one who's belittling. You don't want to be the one who's rejecting help or condemning. You want to be the person who is being patient. So the first thing we really want to do is go back to something that's very, very simple. But it's so very important. It's pray. You know, have we started, we've prayed together several times throughout today. This morning, our mealtimes, confessions, you know, and confessions, it's like we'll just together as a family to speak some scriptures over our lives, right? So prayer is important because it just aligns you with the peace and the presence of God. And as I'm praying for you and I'm praying for me, God help my words today. Be kind. Help me to understand. Help me to listen. Help me to be patient. Those things, I know it sounds elementary, but elementary is the things that keep things together.
Speaker #1
Right. It's the foundation and it works. Like we're not just saying this as a fluffy thing. Like that actually works, which I was going to say, ultimately, everything should be done with prayer. Sure. Now, in that example. where I was talking about if I would have left and you would have still worked out some good, or you're still going about what you should be doing. That is also going to show the person that did take that extra step of stonewalling or silent treatment or whatever. You're a living example at that point of how you can work through conflict resolution. I would have come back and realized, oh, you know, he was level-headed. He worked through the problem. He found a solution. And so even in that moment, if I didn't fully act how I should have acted, you were also showing me through your actions a solution or working through that conflict. Yeah. So even if you're experiencing somebody disregarding your feelings or disregarding what you're saying, they're also watching what you're doing. So if they're not praying with you, you can still pray on your own for your relationship. You don't have to have the other person with you to do what you need to do for your relationship. If that's the point where your relationship happens to be at.
Speaker #0
100%. Love to hear about you going through. Put those in the comments or where you are and how you feel about what we've said thus far. If you're getting anything from today's content, please like and subscribe. We would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. So another thing we can do, obviously, prayer is a foundation. We mentioned already is we can use those I statements and I languages. Where, all right, as I have, as I kind of go back and grade some of my behavior, my conversations with my partner, do I make statements of you? What are you doing and why did you do this way and put that down? Am I making these commands? Or am I practicing and showing patience? Am I showing a willingness to listen and to understand? Am I saying you made me feel this way or I felt this way? Correct. And not putting responsibility and blame on this person, but using those I language statements to help position in the communication and in the conversation. So we can check those things because those things can help. So again, before I'm like, I'm out, I'm quitting. Right. Can't talk to you. We got to look at
Speaker #1
I. Correct. So you're scrubbing your actions, what you're doing instead of he's not doing that. She's not doing this. Look at yourself first, right?
Speaker #0
It's hard.
Speaker #1
And then also using those. Something that you may not want to do or be. Right. It's hard to be like completely truthful to yourself. Yeah. Or accountable to the other person. Like, okay, yes, I really did do this in this situation. I wasn't as open as I needed to be. I wasn't using the active listening techniques that I know we've talked about, things like that. So you can also talk with your partner about those listening techniques before you get in that moment of the disagreement. Yeah. So start there with talking to your partner about those things before it's in action and really working through that. And also, if you can, set aside a specific time just to talk to your partner. one-on-one about your relationship because that's going to help build the foundation for when things do pop up later on.
Speaker #0
I'm thinking about two things at once. And so, because you've said something about, what did you just say?
Speaker #1
The active listening techniques, talking to your partner beforehand, and then also setting aside a specific time to talk to your partner.
Speaker #0
Right. You said that, I'm like, well, she might be listening or he might be listening and thinking, well, I can't talk to my partner. And so I want to address that because when you go in thinking and having the thought and the outlook of negativity, you're going to get negativity.
Speaker #1
That mindset, right?
Speaker #0
That mindset.
Speaker #1
What are you thinking?
Speaker #0
So if I'm thinking he's not going to listen, I'm going to communicate. That he's not going to listen. Like he's not going to listen. Right. Or like she's not going to receive. Right. Okay. So we got to break that pattern so that you can communicate as like they can receive.
Speaker #1
100%.
Speaker #0
Even though you were frustrated. One of the reasons that I kept going was I know I can fix this. I know this can work. Right. I know there's a solution for this. And so no matter where you are in your. conversation with your, again, your spouse, your partner, which we focus on, but your child, your coworker, whatever it is, have the mindset, I know this can work. Right. I know there is a resolution. I know there can be peace. And so with that in mind. I'm going to have a conversation with them. We're going to talk to them about going to grandma's house. And I know sometimes that can be touchy. So I'm going to use active listening. I'm going to make sure I use I statements. I'm going to make sure that I stay calm. I'm going to make sure that my tone is this and how I may have a person before I'm going to, I'm going to use a different angle. And so I believe this time when we have this conversation, I'm not going to respond like how I used to, and that's going to produce a different outcome as well.
Speaker #1
Absolutely. That is so powerful to go into any kind of conversation with that mindset of this can work. We can break through this. We can get through with a solution.
Speaker #0
Not to be world war three or blow up.
Speaker #1
Right. You're setting that already in your mind to actually come into action. And if. Your partner's not quite there yet. I mean, how powerful is that? If both people have a mindset, it's going to be awesome because you're going to be together, aligned, and you're both going to have that mindset and then nothing can stop you in your relationship. Now, if your partner's not quite there yet, it just goes back to praying, like praying for that mindset and setting that atmosphere around your home and in your relationship to get to that point.
Speaker #0
100%. That leads me. exactly where I wanted to go where I was like well Terrell Jen I've done those things I've done those steps but you know unfortunately my person just isn't there or whatever reason maybe they drink or when they get drunk it's a different person or you know I'm dealing with something else. Well, then that's where it kind of steps into having in some professional help. Correct. Yeah. It might be a coaching. It might be therapy counseling because we've got to deal with some things that are way deeper than we can address on a podcast. Right. Because there are things that are, could be hindering that are hindering that person that's keeping them from listening. They've got traumas, they've got triggers. There's a reason why they feel or they hear something that you didn't say or they come off a certain way. They haven't really dealt with. And so how to deal with that, if they're isolated and maybe they won't do counseling, well, you do it.
Speaker #1
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker #0
You get your coaching. We can walk you through those things because that's important because there are things you can do personally. that can shield you, that can help you, and then position you to talk with or do what you can with that person.
Speaker #1
Right, and that's so important. And, you know, taking that initial step of realizing you need somebody else to help out is just so important and powerful once you're like, okay, I'm going to seek out that therapy or I'm going to seek out that pastor or I'm going to seek out somebody that I know can speak to me. Really, give me that.
Speaker #0
It is so important.
Speaker #1
you know, view that I need to live.
Speaker #0
People will view. It's so important. I was sitting in church yesterday. We had a, and there's part of the service where people just crying and, you know, we're talking about emotions and just traumas and things that people have been with. And everyone has dealt with some stuff. Yeah. And I encourage each and every person. I know, you know, the Lord has forgiven us and, you know, he washes all things new. We got to talk some things out.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, and I know it's maybe hard or it seems scary or it's difficult to do, but when you go through it, it can be so freeing.
Speaker #0
It is absolutely freeing. So we are here for you. If you ever need us to come alongside you as your partner, as your cheerleader, as your coach, as someone who can say, yes, you can do this, or even just to be quiet and listen to you. We are here. Hi at Oakhavencompany.com. Send us an email. Send us a DM. at all social media at Oak Haven Company. We want to hear you. We want to pray for you, pray with you because you can have a happy, fulfilling, loving relationship that honors God and fulfills you. So thanks so much for listening today. We pray you got something from this. The moral of the story is when to give up, never give up, never give up. There's always a promise for you and there is a bright future for you. We have a prayer guide for you. We do. Come on,
Speaker #1
let's do that. We do. We have a prayer guide. This one is specifically for your relationship. So you may have heard of our, or had our other one about home atmosphere. Right. This one is specifically for your relationship. That's right. These are powerful prayers that your relationship needs to thrive and survive. And we have it in a free downloadable PDF that you can get today.
Speaker #0
Today. It's okhivancompany.com slash five prayers. Of course, the description is in the show notes. and below the video you've got to give us again this is a prayer guide specifically for your relationship we talked about how we pray each other every day these are five prayers that we pray so it's five prayers you can pray gives you the prayer the scriptural reference explanation about it it's absolutely wonderful it's a beautiful pdf it's laid out and you absolutely thrive and enjoy and be a great blessing to you it's your starting point just step one two okay let me start here Let me try this angle, right? I've tried everything else I have, Terrell. You didn't try this. So try this and see if this is going to help you personally. And then you'll see change in your real life. Get it today. You'll be glad you did. Thanks so much for listening, for joining us this week. We will see you next week on the Home and Haven podcast. And remember that wisdom builds the house.
Speaker #2
Did you get anything from today's topic? Do you want to build your home into a haven and have a peaceful atmosphere? Then take the first step and download your home prayer guide absolutely free. You'll find scriptures and prayers that pertain to the most common areas of your home life, from communication to finances, along with explanations of each topic. You'll have everything you need to speak the promise and not the problem. And did we mention it's free? Look for and click the link in the description. Our mission is to assist couples in their relationship communication. so that they can build a haven of peace and love. Friend, you can have a fulfilling relationship. And we hope today's topic provided tools that will help you experience the fullness of a faith-centered relationship. So connect with us on social and send a message. Find us at Oak Haven Company on all social media platforms. We also have additional resources available to assist you on your journey. So visit oakhavencompany.com today. and discover even more tools for success in your relationship communication. Again, thank you for listening. And remember, wisdom builds the house.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

As a Christian couple, we know firsthand the challenges and blessings of marriage. Whether you're seeking Christian marriage advice, considering Christian coaching, or simply looking for biblical wisdom to strengthen communication in your relationship, this podcast is for you.

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

Receive our weekly newsletter: The Haven for encouragement, communication tips, and the latest news. https://newsletter.oakhavencompany.com/inline

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

Receive our weekly newsletter: The Haven for encouragement, communication tips, and the latest news. https://newsletter.oakhavencompany.com/inline

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Be encouraged to speak these Promises over the problem, and you will see your relationship grow and blossom! If you want to pray over your home, this is for you! https://oakhavencompany.com/5prayers

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Have you ever felt like the harder you try, the worse it gets and you just can't seem to communicate with your partner? If you're wondering if it's time to call it quits, today is your day because we're having an open and honest faith-filled conversation on navigating the tough moments in your relationship. And we're going to dive into the signs that your efforts might not be paying off and when it's time to consider other options. Get your answers you need coming up right now. Welcome to this week's episode of the Home to Haven podcast, where we are married and growing in communication. We're so thankful, so happy you've joined us this week on the episode. Hey, it's a new week. We are Terrell and Jen Turner, and we are helping you communicate in your relationship. This is your home for everything that you need faith-filled to. grow in communication with your partner so thanks for tuning in on the podcast on youtube happy you're here yeah so glad you've joined us today happy to have you it is mid-july it is mid july when we're filming this and recording this and so hope you have a wonderful summer it is hot i guess they say hot as balls but it is absolutely hot there's been no rain it's been 12 it is it has been a minute we actually had a wonderful time um you know we try to help navigate a relationship a marriage work responsibilities and family raising two twins and so we had a family night a few weeks ago that was super fun family fun night we did that we went to a uh charlotte fc's soccer game yeah and so if you'd like to see that i'm going to put the description in below we've got a brand new playlist on the channel where we're going to take you into our lives and let you see how we go on trips and this is what we do as a normal everyday family and how we manage how we balance all the different assets of our lives we're teaching you how we do it that's right they can be done we're not perfect of course but hopefully check that out and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any video again we'll link to the short fc game I'm going to call Olible right quick because I want to lead into this topic about when to give up. Just before we press record to sit down and record this podcast, Jen was having some technical difficulties. with her ipad and her technology we have a piece of software that we use for all of our notes everything for all of our episodes are laid out in this particular we use notion and she's got a separate notion for her personal life and you are trying you know i've got it to where we can switch back and twin between workspaces it's very cool but one of the issues with technology is that you have to log in log out authenticate sso you
Speaker #1
codes uh too much way too much we talked about this a little bit a couple episodes we did okay when i was trying to log in that time because i was using a new piece of technology like we had bought a new ipad okay and so This time around,
Speaker #0
I was already discusses on the podcast a little bit.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So you,
Speaker #1
so you've continued to have issues because it should not be hard to log into a program when you have a username and password. It should be, it's not like I forgot my password, forgot my username, but it's not that simple these days.
Speaker #0
So I get that. And you were very frustrated and you were like, I just, I'm quitting. I'm tapping out. I'm stopping. And I was like, no. Like, number one, I'm not going to let this, I don't personally want anything to beat me. I don't want anything to beat me. And I'm like, it can't be that hard. And so turns out you were experiencing some issues that you actually didn't have to experience.
Speaker #1
Correct.
Speaker #0
Because there is a way you can log in through your Google account. And because you were using your Google Gmail, it was asking you for all these different things. Whereas if you just sign in with Google, it was one and done. And so that led me into today's episode of when is it time to give up communicating with your partner? Like you are just trying all these different methods and you were trying, you were just, I can't seem to get this to work. It won't give me the code. I got the code. Now I got to look at my phone. Now my phone's going. It shouldn't be this way. It's hitting me this hard. I've got my Mac, my phone, and my iPad. They're right here. They're all three together.
Speaker #1
Doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker #0
And nothing was working. And you're like, I call it quits. It's like, wait a minute, hold it before you quit. We got to look at what are you doing wrong? Because you're right. It should not be this hard. Right. And so as we're like, I'm trying with this and he won't listen. I'm trying to communicate. That's what we're here for. It's like, let's identify what's happening because you may be feeling today. I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to give up. I'm tapped out. I've tried everything. I'm at my wit's end.
Speaker #1
what do i do torell what do i do jen yeah and so i think that's a great place to start is why are people even feeling that why are people feeling like their communications not working what are yeah what are those pain points yeah the pain points that they're feeling that even that thought crosses their mind that i
Speaker #0
just need to give up so because it can be really challenging absolutely you are at your wits end you're challenged you're like what is going on why because you want to obtain something. You're trying to reach an objective and there's an obstacle that's keeping you from getting that. And so, yes, whether it be your spouse, your kids, your parent, whatever it is, you're trying to communicate or they're not giving you the answer you need. Or when they respond back, it may be with a different tone. It may be passive aggressive. It might be judging. They heard it wrong. They said something wrong. And there's all these different obstacles. That's keeping you and hindering you and preventing you from having that meaningful understanding that we're all longing and looking for.
Speaker #1
A hundred percent. So you might be dealing with the silent or getting the silent treatment, right? You might be getting criticism. You might be getting nothing back when you feel like you're doing everything that you're supposed to be doing. So you may be feeling unheard or you may feel like the other person doesn't care. So why even try? So you're experiencing these negative. things when you feel like you're putting in the effort or you're following things you're that people are suggesting and it's just not working and where do you go from there all right so where do we go from there so number one before you like hey i'm
Speaker #0
quitting i'm out tap tap first we gotta we gotta see are are we doing everything on our part let's let's do some troubleshooting okay right And so what are some ways and what are some things that we can do to try to improve on the communication?
Speaker #1
Right.
Speaker #0
Can I put myself over into their shoes and cross the border? That's going to take humility. Yep. That's going to take selflessness. And that's hard. Right? Because we want our way and we want to be heard. And we want the effort given to us. But sometimes offering that extension. Being the first person laying down yourself and saying, okay, I'm going to be the bigger person and cross the bridge can be what that other person needs to have them drop all that stuff they've got built up in order for there to be compromise, in order for there to be progress to move forward.
Speaker #1
Right. And I feel like sometimes in order to put yourself in the other person's shoes, you need to take. a minute to step back and not be in the moment in the heat of whatever's happening that's not working. Going back to the example when I couldn't log in, like in that moment, right, my emotions are a little bit high. I'm already frustrated. I'm already trying things. That's not maybe the ideal moment, you know, to really be able to say, you know, my example didn't involve another person.
Speaker #0
But it does. It involves us. Right. And so I'm not saying that I'm perfect. And, you know, in this example that I'm going to give you, there was one person who was the bigger person, not saying you were little. Right. But in a moment where you were frustrated. in a moment where you wanted to quit, in a moment where you're like, I can't see this forward, well, one of us was like, hey, wait a minute, let's slow down.
Speaker #1
You were in the position to be able to do that. You were able to say, okay, let's take a step back. You also put yourself in my shoes and you said, I know this can be frustrating. I know you don't think it should have to be this many steps to work. So you're giving me something back. You're also stepping in and saying that you can help. Or hey, look. let me try this out and kind of giving me another solution. Right. So like you said, you are being that person taking those additional steps.
Speaker #0
So it's not like, Hey, adding to the problem. Right. I'm not saying, well, what are you, what are you doing wrong? It worked for me. You must be doing something wrong. Right. So we're not using those you statements. Correct. I'm using an I statement. Hey, let me see what I can do to help you. um i know i've found some so let me you know right so i'm not placing blame or shifting but and if you have that situation you know that's where it really gets dicey yes and again i'm not saying that we're perfect and we've got this marshmallow you know rainbow relationship where you know typically someone's going to be level-headed because had i been that way well that would have shut you down right that would have caused you to be like well who he think he is telling me what I can do. He thinks he's better than me, right? Because I'm belittling.
Speaker #1
More defensive. More defensive. Back and forth.
Speaker #0
So if you have that situation, right, you don't want to be the person that's doing that.
Speaker #1
Correct. Now, also in this situation, I could have gotten up and stormed out of the room, right, and just be done with the conversation, which you might be experiencing.
Speaker #0
I don't need your help.
Speaker #1
Your partner might be doing that. Don't tell me. Right. Shutting it down. Right. Walking away. right i'm not talking to you about this i don't care if you can fix it i don't want to do it right now right and that's a real life example of sure a disagreement where somebody may just have gone off the rails correct very easily very easily and people experience that right you know and so if the other person does walk away or does quit you know in that moment you could have still solved the problem for me without me being there right you could right you
Speaker #0
Right. Well, I was going to say like, okay, you know, if you would have stormed off, you know, give her, give her, let me give you that space. Okay. I'm still not going to quit. I'm not going to give up.
Speaker #1
You're still working on it.
Speaker #0
I'm going to still work on it. Or I'm going to say, you know what, let's come back and revisit this. Right. Okay. So maybe you do need to take a step back and maybe that was your test.
Speaker #1
Breaking point.
Speaker #0
Breaking point at that particular time. But the key that we're trying to make here is that at some point, you know, you're working together. That you don't want to be the one who's belittling. You don't want to be the one who's rejecting help or condemning. You want to be the person who is being patient. So the first thing we really want to do is go back to something that's very, very simple. But it's so very important. It's pray. You know, have we started, we've prayed together several times throughout today. This morning, our mealtimes, confessions, you know, and confessions, it's like we'll just together as a family to speak some scriptures over our lives, right? So prayer is important because it just aligns you with the peace and the presence of God. And as I'm praying for you and I'm praying for me, God help my words today. Be kind. Help me to understand. Help me to listen. Help me to be patient. Those things, I know it sounds elementary, but elementary is the things that keep things together.
Speaker #1
Right. It's the foundation and it works. Like we're not just saying this as a fluffy thing. Like that actually works, which I was going to say, ultimately, everything should be done with prayer. Sure. Now, in that example. where I was talking about if I would have left and you would have still worked out some good, or you're still going about what you should be doing. That is also going to show the person that did take that extra step of stonewalling or silent treatment or whatever. You're a living example at that point of how you can work through conflict resolution. I would have come back and realized, oh, you know, he was level-headed. He worked through the problem. He found a solution. And so even in that moment, if I didn't fully act how I should have acted, you were also showing me through your actions a solution or working through that conflict. Yeah. So even if you're experiencing somebody disregarding your feelings or disregarding what you're saying, they're also watching what you're doing. So if they're not praying with you, you can still pray on your own for your relationship. You don't have to have the other person with you to do what you need to do for your relationship. If that's the point where your relationship happens to be at.
Speaker #0
100%. Love to hear about you going through. Put those in the comments or where you are and how you feel about what we've said thus far. If you're getting anything from today's content, please like and subscribe. We would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. So another thing we can do, obviously, prayer is a foundation. We mentioned already is we can use those I statements and I languages. Where, all right, as I have, as I kind of go back and grade some of my behavior, my conversations with my partner, do I make statements of you? What are you doing and why did you do this way and put that down? Am I making these commands? Or am I practicing and showing patience? Am I showing a willingness to listen and to understand? Am I saying you made me feel this way or I felt this way? Correct. And not putting responsibility and blame on this person, but using those I language statements to help position in the communication and in the conversation. So we can check those things because those things can help. So again, before I'm like, I'm out, I'm quitting. Right. Can't talk to you. We got to look at
Speaker #1
I. Correct. So you're scrubbing your actions, what you're doing instead of he's not doing that. She's not doing this. Look at yourself first, right?
Speaker #0
It's hard.
Speaker #1
And then also using those. Something that you may not want to do or be. Right. It's hard to be like completely truthful to yourself. Yeah. Or accountable to the other person. Like, okay, yes, I really did do this in this situation. I wasn't as open as I needed to be. I wasn't using the active listening techniques that I know we've talked about, things like that. So you can also talk with your partner about those listening techniques before you get in that moment of the disagreement. Yeah. So start there with talking to your partner about those things before it's in action and really working through that. And also, if you can, set aside a specific time just to talk to your partner. one-on-one about your relationship because that's going to help build the foundation for when things do pop up later on.
Speaker #0
I'm thinking about two things at once. And so, because you've said something about, what did you just say?
Speaker #1
The active listening techniques, talking to your partner beforehand, and then also setting aside a specific time to talk to your partner.
Speaker #0
Right. You said that, I'm like, well, she might be listening or he might be listening and thinking, well, I can't talk to my partner. And so I want to address that because when you go in thinking and having the thought and the outlook of negativity, you're going to get negativity.
Speaker #1
That mindset, right?
Speaker #0
That mindset.
Speaker #1
What are you thinking?
Speaker #0
So if I'm thinking he's not going to listen, I'm going to communicate. That he's not going to listen. Like he's not going to listen. Right. Or like she's not going to receive. Right. Okay. So we got to break that pattern so that you can communicate as like they can receive.
Speaker #1
100%.
Speaker #0
Even though you were frustrated. One of the reasons that I kept going was I know I can fix this. I know this can work. Right. I know there's a solution for this. And so no matter where you are in your. conversation with your, again, your spouse, your partner, which we focus on, but your child, your coworker, whatever it is, have the mindset, I know this can work. Right. I know there is a resolution. I know there can be peace. And so with that in mind. I'm going to have a conversation with them. We're going to talk to them about going to grandma's house. And I know sometimes that can be touchy. So I'm going to use active listening. I'm going to make sure I use I statements. I'm going to make sure that I stay calm. I'm going to make sure that my tone is this and how I may have a person before I'm going to, I'm going to use a different angle. And so I believe this time when we have this conversation, I'm not going to respond like how I used to, and that's going to produce a different outcome as well.
Speaker #1
Absolutely. That is so powerful to go into any kind of conversation with that mindset of this can work. We can break through this. We can get through with a solution.
Speaker #0
Not to be world war three or blow up.
Speaker #1
Right. You're setting that already in your mind to actually come into action. And if. Your partner's not quite there yet. I mean, how powerful is that? If both people have a mindset, it's going to be awesome because you're going to be together, aligned, and you're both going to have that mindset and then nothing can stop you in your relationship. Now, if your partner's not quite there yet, it just goes back to praying, like praying for that mindset and setting that atmosphere around your home and in your relationship to get to that point.
Speaker #0
100%. That leads me. exactly where I wanted to go where I was like well Terrell Jen I've done those things I've done those steps but you know unfortunately my person just isn't there or whatever reason maybe they drink or when they get drunk it's a different person or you know I'm dealing with something else. Well, then that's where it kind of steps into having in some professional help. Correct. Yeah. It might be a coaching. It might be therapy counseling because we've got to deal with some things that are way deeper than we can address on a podcast. Right. Because there are things that are, could be hindering that are hindering that person that's keeping them from listening. They've got traumas, they've got triggers. There's a reason why they feel or they hear something that you didn't say or they come off a certain way. They haven't really dealt with. And so how to deal with that, if they're isolated and maybe they won't do counseling, well, you do it.
Speaker #1
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker #0
You get your coaching. We can walk you through those things because that's important because there are things you can do personally. that can shield you, that can help you, and then position you to talk with or do what you can with that person.
Speaker #1
Right, and that's so important. And, you know, taking that initial step of realizing you need somebody else to help out is just so important and powerful once you're like, okay, I'm going to seek out that therapy or I'm going to seek out that pastor or I'm going to seek out somebody that I know can speak to me. Really, give me that.
Speaker #0
It is so important.
Speaker #1
you know, view that I need to live.
Speaker #0
People will view. It's so important. I was sitting in church yesterday. We had a, and there's part of the service where people just crying and, you know, we're talking about emotions and just traumas and things that people have been with. And everyone has dealt with some stuff. Yeah. And I encourage each and every person. I know, you know, the Lord has forgiven us and, you know, he washes all things new. We got to talk some things out.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, and I know it's maybe hard or it seems scary or it's difficult to do, but when you go through it, it can be so freeing.
Speaker #0
It is absolutely freeing. So we are here for you. If you ever need us to come alongside you as your partner, as your cheerleader, as your coach, as someone who can say, yes, you can do this, or even just to be quiet and listen to you. We are here. Hi at Oakhavencompany.com. Send us an email. Send us a DM. at all social media at Oak Haven Company. We want to hear you. We want to pray for you, pray with you because you can have a happy, fulfilling, loving relationship that honors God and fulfills you. So thanks so much for listening today. We pray you got something from this. The moral of the story is when to give up, never give up, never give up. There's always a promise for you and there is a bright future for you. We have a prayer guide for you. We do. Come on,
Speaker #1
let's do that. We do. We have a prayer guide. This one is specifically for your relationship. So you may have heard of our, or had our other one about home atmosphere. Right. This one is specifically for your relationship. That's right. These are powerful prayers that your relationship needs to thrive and survive. And we have it in a free downloadable PDF that you can get today.
Speaker #0
Today. It's okhivancompany.com slash five prayers. Of course, the description is in the show notes. and below the video you've got to give us again this is a prayer guide specifically for your relationship we talked about how we pray each other every day these are five prayers that we pray so it's five prayers you can pray gives you the prayer the scriptural reference explanation about it it's absolutely wonderful it's a beautiful pdf it's laid out and you absolutely thrive and enjoy and be a great blessing to you it's your starting point just step one two okay let me start here Let me try this angle, right? I've tried everything else I have, Terrell. You didn't try this. So try this and see if this is going to help you personally. And then you'll see change in your real life. Get it today. You'll be glad you did. Thanks so much for listening, for joining us this week. We will see you next week on the Home and Haven podcast. And remember that wisdom builds the house.
Speaker #2
Did you get anything from today's topic? Do you want to build your home into a haven and have a peaceful atmosphere? Then take the first step and download your home prayer guide absolutely free. You'll find scriptures and prayers that pertain to the most common areas of your home life, from communication to finances, along with explanations of each topic. You'll have everything you need to speak the promise and not the problem. And did we mention it's free? Look for and click the link in the description. Our mission is to assist couples in their relationship communication. so that they can build a haven of peace and love. Friend, you can have a fulfilling relationship. And we hope today's topic provided tools that will help you experience the fullness of a faith-centered relationship. So connect with us on social and send a message. Find us at Oak Haven Company on all social media platforms. We also have additional resources available to assist you on your journey. So visit oakhavencompany.com today. and discover even more tools for success in your relationship communication. Again, thank you for listening. And remember, wisdom builds the house.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

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About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

Receive our weekly newsletter: The Haven for encouragement, communication tips, and the latest news. https://newsletter.oakhavencompany.com/inline

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Have you ever felt like the harder you try, the worse it gets and you just can't seem to communicate with your partner? If you're wondering if it's time to call it quits, today is your day because we're having an open and honest faith-filled conversation on navigating the tough moments in your relationship. And we're going to dive into the signs that your efforts might not be paying off and when it's time to consider other options. Get your answers you need coming up right now. Welcome to this week's episode of the Home to Haven podcast, where we are married and growing in communication. We're so thankful, so happy you've joined us this week on the episode. Hey, it's a new week. We are Terrell and Jen Turner, and we are helping you communicate in your relationship. This is your home for everything that you need faith-filled to. grow in communication with your partner so thanks for tuning in on the podcast on youtube happy you're here yeah so glad you've joined us today happy to have you it is mid-july it is mid july when we're filming this and recording this and so hope you have a wonderful summer it is hot i guess they say hot as balls but it is absolutely hot there's been no rain it's been 12 it is it has been a minute we actually had a wonderful time um you know we try to help navigate a relationship a marriage work responsibilities and family raising two twins and so we had a family night a few weeks ago that was super fun family fun night we did that we went to a uh charlotte fc's soccer game yeah and so if you'd like to see that i'm going to put the description in below we've got a brand new playlist on the channel where we're going to take you into our lives and let you see how we go on trips and this is what we do as a normal everyday family and how we manage how we balance all the different assets of our lives we're teaching you how we do it that's right they can be done we're not perfect of course but hopefully check that out and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any video again we'll link to the short fc game I'm going to call Olible right quick because I want to lead into this topic about when to give up. Just before we press record to sit down and record this podcast, Jen was having some technical difficulties. with her ipad and her technology we have a piece of software that we use for all of our notes everything for all of our episodes are laid out in this particular we use notion and she's got a separate notion for her personal life and you are trying you know i've got it to where we can switch back and twin between workspaces it's very cool but one of the issues with technology is that you have to log in log out authenticate sso you
Speaker #1
codes uh too much way too much we talked about this a little bit a couple episodes we did okay when i was trying to log in that time because i was using a new piece of technology like we had bought a new ipad okay and so This time around,
Speaker #0
I was already discusses on the podcast a little bit.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So you,
Speaker #1
so you've continued to have issues because it should not be hard to log into a program when you have a username and password. It should be, it's not like I forgot my password, forgot my username, but it's not that simple these days.
Speaker #0
So I get that. And you were very frustrated and you were like, I just, I'm quitting. I'm tapping out. I'm stopping. And I was like, no. Like, number one, I'm not going to let this, I don't personally want anything to beat me. I don't want anything to beat me. And I'm like, it can't be that hard. And so turns out you were experiencing some issues that you actually didn't have to experience.
Speaker #1
Correct.
Speaker #0
Because there is a way you can log in through your Google account. And because you were using your Google Gmail, it was asking you for all these different things. Whereas if you just sign in with Google, it was one and done. And so that led me into today's episode of when is it time to give up communicating with your partner? Like you are just trying all these different methods and you were trying, you were just, I can't seem to get this to work. It won't give me the code. I got the code. Now I got to look at my phone. Now my phone's going. It shouldn't be this way. It's hitting me this hard. I've got my Mac, my phone, and my iPad. They're right here. They're all three together.
Speaker #1
Doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker #0
And nothing was working. And you're like, I call it quits. It's like, wait a minute, hold it before you quit. We got to look at what are you doing wrong? Because you're right. It should not be this hard. Right. And so as we're like, I'm trying with this and he won't listen. I'm trying to communicate. That's what we're here for. It's like, let's identify what's happening because you may be feeling today. I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to give up. I'm tapped out. I've tried everything. I'm at my wit's end.
Speaker #1
what do i do torell what do i do jen yeah and so i think that's a great place to start is why are people even feeling that why are people feeling like their communications not working what are yeah what are those pain points yeah the pain points that they're feeling that even that thought crosses their mind that i
Speaker #0
just need to give up so because it can be really challenging absolutely you are at your wits end you're challenged you're like what is going on why because you want to obtain something. You're trying to reach an objective and there's an obstacle that's keeping you from getting that. And so, yes, whether it be your spouse, your kids, your parent, whatever it is, you're trying to communicate or they're not giving you the answer you need. Or when they respond back, it may be with a different tone. It may be passive aggressive. It might be judging. They heard it wrong. They said something wrong. And there's all these different obstacles. That's keeping you and hindering you and preventing you from having that meaningful understanding that we're all longing and looking for.
Speaker #1
A hundred percent. So you might be dealing with the silent or getting the silent treatment, right? You might be getting criticism. You might be getting nothing back when you feel like you're doing everything that you're supposed to be doing. So you may be feeling unheard or you may feel like the other person doesn't care. So why even try? So you're experiencing these negative. things when you feel like you're putting in the effort or you're following things you're that people are suggesting and it's just not working and where do you go from there all right so where do we go from there so number one before you like hey i'm
Speaker #0
quitting i'm out tap tap first we gotta we gotta see are are we doing everything on our part let's let's do some troubleshooting okay right And so what are some ways and what are some things that we can do to try to improve on the communication?
Speaker #1
Right.
Speaker #0
Can I put myself over into their shoes and cross the border? That's going to take humility. Yep. That's going to take selflessness. And that's hard. Right? Because we want our way and we want to be heard. And we want the effort given to us. But sometimes offering that extension. Being the first person laying down yourself and saying, okay, I'm going to be the bigger person and cross the bridge can be what that other person needs to have them drop all that stuff they've got built up in order for there to be compromise, in order for there to be progress to move forward.
Speaker #1
Right. And I feel like sometimes in order to put yourself in the other person's shoes, you need to take. a minute to step back and not be in the moment in the heat of whatever's happening that's not working. Going back to the example when I couldn't log in, like in that moment, right, my emotions are a little bit high. I'm already frustrated. I'm already trying things. That's not maybe the ideal moment, you know, to really be able to say, you know, my example didn't involve another person.
Speaker #0
But it does. It involves us. Right. And so I'm not saying that I'm perfect. And, you know, in this example that I'm going to give you, there was one person who was the bigger person, not saying you were little. Right. But in a moment where you were frustrated. in a moment where you wanted to quit, in a moment where you're like, I can't see this forward, well, one of us was like, hey, wait a minute, let's slow down.
Speaker #1
You were in the position to be able to do that. You were able to say, okay, let's take a step back. You also put yourself in my shoes and you said, I know this can be frustrating. I know you don't think it should have to be this many steps to work. So you're giving me something back. You're also stepping in and saying that you can help. Or hey, look. let me try this out and kind of giving me another solution. Right. So like you said, you are being that person taking those additional steps.
Speaker #0
So it's not like, Hey, adding to the problem. Right. I'm not saying, well, what are you, what are you doing wrong? It worked for me. You must be doing something wrong. Right. So we're not using those you statements. Correct. I'm using an I statement. Hey, let me see what I can do to help you. um i know i've found some so let me you know right so i'm not placing blame or shifting but and if you have that situation you know that's where it really gets dicey yes and again i'm not saying that we're perfect and we've got this marshmallow you know rainbow relationship where you know typically someone's going to be level-headed because had i been that way well that would have shut you down right that would have caused you to be like well who he think he is telling me what I can do. He thinks he's better than me, right? Because I'm belittling.
Speaker #1
More defensive. More defensive. Back and forth.
Speaker #0
So if you have that situation, right, you don't want to be the person that's doing that.
Speaker #1
Correct. Now, also in this situation, I could have gotten up and stormed out of the room, right, and just be done with the conversation, which you might be experiencing.
Speaker #0
I don't need your help.
Speaker #1
Your partner might be doing that. Don't tell me. Right. Shutting it down. Right. Walking away. right i'm not talking to you about this i don't care if you can fix it i don't want to do it right now right and that's a real life example of sure a disagreement where somebody may just have gone off the rails correct very easily very easily and people experience that right you know and so if the other person does walk away or does quit you know in that moment you could have still solved the problem for me without me being there right you could right you
Speaker #0
Right. Well, I was going to say like, okay, you know, if you would have stormed off, you know, give her, give her, let me give you that space. Okay. I'm still not going to quit. I'm not going to give up.
Speaker #1
You're still working on it.
Speaker #0
I'm going to still work on it. Or I'm going to say, you know what, let's come back and revisit this. Right. Okay. So maybe you do need to take a step back and maybe that was your test.
Speaker #1
Breaking point.
Speaker #0
Breaking point at that particular time. But the key that we're trying to make here is that at some point, you know, you're working together. That you don't want to be the one who's belittling. You don't want to be the one who's rejecting help or condemning. You want to be the person who is being patient. So the first thing we really want to do is go back to something that's very, very simple. But it's so very important. It's pray. You know, have we started, we've prayed together several times throughout today. This morning, our mealtimes, confessions, you know, and confessions, it's like we'll just together as a family to speak some scriptures over our lives, right? So prayer is important because it just aligns you with the peace and the presence of God. And as I'm praying for you and I'm praying for me, God help my words today. Be kind. Help me to understand. Help me to listen. Help me to be patient. Those things, I know it sounds elementary, but elementary is the things that keep things together.
Speaker #1
Right. It's the foundation and it works. Like we're not just saying this as a fluffy thing. Like that actually works, which I was going to say, ultimately, everything should be done with prayer. Sure. Now, in that example. where I was talking about if I would have left and you would have still worked out some good, or you're still going about what you should be doing. That is also going to show the person that did take that extra step of stonewalling or silent treatment or whatever. You're a living example at that point of how you can work through conflict resolution. I would have come back and realized, oh, you know, he was level-headed. He worked through the problem. He found a solution. And so even in that moment, if I didn't fully act how I should have acted, you were also showing me through your actions a solution or working through that conflict. Yeah. So even if you're experiencing somebody disregarding your feelings or disregarding what you're saying, they're also watching what you're doing. So if they're not praying with you, you can still pray on your own for your relationship. You don't have to have the other person with you to do what you need to do for your relationship. If that's the point where your relationship happens to be at.
Speaker #0
100%. Love to hear about you going through. Put those in the comments or where you are and how you feel about what we've said thus far. If you're getting anything from today's content, please like and subscribe. We would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. So another thing we can do, obviously, prayer is a foundation. We mentioned already is we can use those I statements and I languages. Where, all right, as I have, as I kind of go back and grade some of my behavior, my conversations with my partner, do I make statements of you? What are you doing and why did you do this way and put that down? Am I making these commands? Or am I practicing and showing patience? Am I showing a willingness to listen and to understand? Am I saying you made me feel this way or I felt this way? Correct. And not putting responsibility and blame on this person, but using those I language statements to help position in the communication and in the conversation. So we can check those things because those things can help. So again, before I'm like, I'm out, I'm quitting. Right. Can't talk to you. We got to look at
Speaker #1
I. Correct. So you're scrubbing your actions, what you're doing instead of he's not doing that. She's not doing this. Look at yourself first, right?
Speaker #0
It's hard.
Speaker #1
And then also using those. Something that you may not want to do or be. Right. It's hard to be like completely truthful to yourself. Yeah. Or accountable to the other person. Like, okay, yes, I really did do this in this situation. I wasn't as open as I needed to be. I wasn't using the active listening techniques that I know we've talked about, things like that. So you can also talk with your partner about those listening techniques before you get in that moment of the disagreement. Yeah. So start there with talking to your partner about those things before it's in action and really working through that. And also, if you can, set aside a specific time just to talk to your partner. one-on-one about your relationship because that's going to help build the foundation for when things do pop up later on.
Speaker #0
I'm thinking about two things at once. And so, because you've said something about, what did you just say?
Speaker #1
The active listening techniques, talking to your partner beforehand, and then also setting aside a specific time to talk to your partner.
Speaker #0
Right. You said that, I'm like, well, she might be listening or he might be listening and thinking, well, I can't talk to my partner. And so I want to address that because when you go in thinking and having the thought and the outlook of negativity, you're going to get negativity.
Speaker #1
That mindset, right?
Speaker #0
That mindset.
Speaker #1
What are you thinking?
Speaker #0
So if I'm thinking he's not going to listen, I'm going to communicate. That he's not going to listen. Like he's not going to listen. Right. Or like she's not going to receive. Right. Okay. So we got to break that pattern so that you can communicate as like they can receive.
Speaker #1
100%.
Speaker #0
Even though you were frustrated. One of the reasons that I kept going was I know I can fix this. I know this can work. Right. I know there's a solution for this. And so no matter where you are in your. conversation with your, again, your spouse, your partner, which we focus on, but your child, your coworker, whatever it is, have the mindset, I know this can work. Right. I know there is a resolution. I know there can be peace. And so with that in mind. I'm going to have a conversation with them. We're going to talk to them about going to grandma's house. And I know sometimes that can be touchy. So I'm going to use active listening. I'm going to make sure I use I statements. I'm going to make sure that I stay calm. I'm going to make sure that my tone is this and how I may have a person before I'm going to, I'm going to use a different angle. And so I believe this time when we have this conversation, I'm not going to respond like how I used to, and that's going to produce a different outcome as well.
Speaker #1
Absolutely. That is so powerful to go into any kind of conversation with that mindset of this can work. We can break through this. We can get through with a solution.
Speaker #0
Not to be world war three or blow up.
Speaker #1
Right. You're setting that already in your mind to actually come into action. And if. Your partner's not quite there yet. I mean, how powerful is that? If both people have a mindset, it's going to be awesome because you're going to be together, aligned, and you're both going to have that mindset and then nothing can stop you in your relationship. Now, if your partner's not quite there yet, it just goes back to praying, like praying for that mindset and setting that atmosphere around your home and in your relationship to get to that point.
Speaker #0
100%. That leads me. exactly where I wanted to go where I was like well Terrell Jen I've done those things I've done those steps but you know unfortunately my person just isn't there or whatever reason maybe they drink or when they get drunk it's a different person or you know I'm dealing with something else. Well, then that's where it kind of steps into having in some professional help. Correct. Yeah. It might be a coaching. It might be therapy counseling because we've got to deal with some things that are way deeper than we can address on a podcast. Right. Because there are things that are, could be hindering that are hindering that person that's keeping them from listening. They've got traumas, they've got triggers. There's a reason why they feel or they hear something that you didn't say or they come off a certain way. They haven't really dealt with. And so how to deal with that, if they're isolated and maybe they won't do counseling, well, you do it.
Speaker #1
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker #0
You get your coaching. We can walk you through those things because that's important because there are things you can do personally. that can shield you, that can help you, and then position you to talk with or do what you can with that person.
Speaker #1
Right, and that's so important. And, you know, taking that initial step of realizing you need somebody else to help out is just so important and powerful once you're like, okay, I'm going to seek out that therapy or I'm going to seek out that pastor or I'm going to seek out somebody that I know can speak to me. Really, give me that.
Speaker #0
It is so important.
Speaker #1
you know, view that I need to live.
Speaker #0
People will view. It's so important. I was sitting in church yesterday. We had a, and there's part of the service where people just crying and, you know, we're talking about emotions and just traumas and things that people have been with. And everyone has dealt with some stuff. Yeah. And I encourage each and every person. I know, you know, the Lord has forgiven us and, you know, he washes all things new. We got to talk some things out.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, and I know it's maybe hard or it seems scary or it's difficult to do, but when you go through it, it can be so freeing.
Speaker #0
It is absolutely freeing. So we are here for you. If you ever need us to come alongside you as your partner, as your cheerleader, as your coach, as someone who can say, yes, you can do this, or even just to be quiet and listen to you. We are here. Hi at Oakhavencompany.com. Send us an email. Send us a DM. at all social media at Oak Haven Company. We want to hear you. We want to pray for you, pray with you because you can have a happy, fulfilling, loving relationship that honors God and fulfills you. So thanks so much for listening today. We pray you got something from this. The moral of the story is when to give up, never give up, never give up. There's always a promise for you and there is a bright future for you. We have a prayer guide for you. We do. Come on,
Speaker #1
let's do that. We do. We have a prayer guide. This one is specifically for your relationship. So you may have heard of our, or had our other one about home atmosphere. Right. This one is specifically for your relationship. That's right. These are powerful prayers that your relationship needs to thrive and survive. And we have it in a free downloadable PDF that you can get today.
Speaker #0
Today. It's okhivancompany.com slash five prayers. Of course, the description is in the show notes. and below the video you've got to give us again this is a prayer guide specifically for your relationship we talked about how we pray each other every day these are five prayers that we pray so it's five prayers you can pray gives you the prayer the scriptural reference explanation about it it's absolutely wonderful it's a beautiful pdf it's laid out and you absolutely thrive and enjoy and be a great blessing to you it's your starting point just step one two okay let me start here Let me try this angle, right? I've tried everything else I have, Terrell. You didn't try this. So try this and see if this is going to help you personally. And then you'll see change in your real life. Get it today. You'll be glad you did. Thanks so much for listening, for joining us this week. We will see you next week on the Home and Haven podcast. And remember that wisdom builds the house.
Speaker #2
Did you get anything from today's topic? Do you want to build your home into a haven and have a peaceful atmosphere? Then take the first step and download your home prayer guide absolutely free. You'll find scriptures and prayers that pertain to the most common areas of your home life, from communication to finances, along with explanations of each topic. You'll have everything you need to speak the promise and not the problem. And did we mention it's free? Look for and click the link in the description. Our mission is to assist couples in their relationship communication. so that they can build a haven of peace and love. Friend, you can have a fulfilling relationship. And we hope today's topic provided tools that will help you experience the fullness of a faith-centered relationship. So connect with us on social and send a message. Find us at Oak Haven Company on all social media platforms. We also have additional resources available to assist you on your journey. So visit oakhavencompany.com today. and discover even more tools for success in your relationship communication. Again, thank you for listening. And remember, wisdom builds the house.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

Receive our weekly newsletter: The Haven for encouragement, communication tips, and the latest news. https://newsletter.oakhavencompany.com/inline

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

Join the Community!

Receive our weekly newsletter: The Haven for encouragement, communication tips, and the latest news. https://newsletter.oakhavencompany.com/inline

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Be encouraged to speak these Promises over the problem, and you will see your relationship grow and blossom! If you want to pray over your home, this is for you! https://oakhavencompany.com/5prayers

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Have you ever felt like the harder you try, the worse it gets and you just can't seem to communicate with your partner? If you're wondering if it's time to call it quits, today is your day because we're having an open and honest faith-filled conversation on navigating the tough moments in your relationship. And we're going to dive into the signs that your efforts might not be paying off and when it's time to consider other options. Get your answers you need coming up right now. Welcome to this week's episode of the Home to Haven podcast, where we are married and growing in communication. We're so thankful, so happy you've joined us this week on the episode. Hey, it's a new week. We are Terrell and Jen Turner, and we are helping you communicate in your relationship. This is your home for everything that you need faith-filled to. grow in communication with your partner so thanks for tuning in on the podcast on youtube happy you're here yeah so glad you've joined us today happy to have you it is mid-july it is mid july when we're filming this and recording this and so hope you have a wonderful summer it is hot i guess they say hot as balls but it is absolutely hot there's been no rain it's been 12 it is it has been a minute we actually had a wonderful time um you know we try to help navigate a relationship a marriage work responsibilities and family raising two twins and so we had a family night a few weeks ago that was super fun family fun night we did that we went to a uh charlotte fc's soccer game yeah and so if you'd like to see that i'm going to put the description in below we've got a brand new playlist on the channel where we're going to take you into our lives and let you see how we go on trips and this is what we do as a normal everyday family and how we manage how we balance all the different assets of our lives we're teaching you how we do it that's right they can be done we're not perfect of course but hopefully check that out and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any video again we'll link to the short fc game I'm going to call Olible right quick because I want to lead into this topic about when to give up. Just before we press record to sit down and record this podcast, Jen was having some technical difficulties. with her ipad and her technology we have a piece of software that we use for all of our notes everything for all of our episodes are laid out in this particular we use notion and she's got a separate notion for her personal life and you are trying you know i've got it to where we can switch back and twin between workspaces it's very cool but one of the issues with technology is that you have to log in log out authenticate sso you
Speaker #1
codes uh too much way too much we talked about this a little bit a couple episodes we did okay when i was trying to log in that time because i was using a new piece of technology like we had bought a new ipad okay and so This time around,
Speaker #0
I was already discusses on the podcast a little bit.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So you,
Speaker #1
so you've continued to have issues because it should not be hard to log into a program when you have a username and password. It should be, it's not like I forgot my password, forgot my username, but it's not that simple these days.
Speaker #0
So I get that. And you were very frustrated and you were like, I just, I'm quitting. I'm tapping out. I'm stopping. And I was like, no. Like, number one, I'm not going to let this, I don't personally want anything to beat me. I don't want anything to beat me. And I'm like, it can't be that hard. And so turns out you were experiencing some issues that you actually didn't have to experience.
Speaker #1
Correct.
Speaker #0
Because there is a way you can log in through your Google account. And because you were using your Google Gmail, it was asking you for all these different things. Whereas if you just sign in with Google, it was one and done. And so that led me into today's episode of when is it time to give up communicating with your partner? Like you are just trying all these different methods and you were trying, you were just, I can't seem to get this to work. It won't give me the code. I got the code. Now I got to look at my phone. Now my phone's going. It shouldn't be this way. It's hitting me this hard. I've got my Mac, my phone, and my iPad. They're right here. They're all three together.
Speaker #1
Doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker #0
And nothing was working. And you're like, I call it quits. It's like, wait a minute, hold it before you quit. We got to look at what are you doing wrong? Because you're right. It should not be this hard. Right. And so as we're like, I'm trying with this and he won't listen. I'm trying to communicate. That's what we're here for. It's like, let's identify what's happening because you may be feeling today. I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to give up. I'm tapped out. I've tried everything. I'm at my wit's end.
Speaker #1
what do i do torell what do i do jen yeah and so i think that's a great place to start is why are people even feeling that why are people feeling like their communications not working what are yeah what are those pain points yeah the pain points that they're feeling that even that thought crosses their mind that i
Speaker #0
just need to give up so because it can be really challenging absolutely you are at your wits end you're challenged you're like what is going on why because you want to obtain something. You're trying to reach an objective and there's an obstacle that's keeping you from getting that. And so, yes, whether it be your spouse, your kids, your parent, whatever it is, you're trying to communicate or they're not giving you the answer you need. Or when they respond back, it may be with a different tone. It may be passive aggressive. It might be judging. They heard it wrong. They said something wrong. And there's all these different obstacles. That's keeping you and hindering you and preventing you from having that meaningful understanding that we're all longing and looking for.
Speaker #1
A hundred percent. So you might be dealing with the silent or getting the silent treatment, right? You might be getting criticism. You might be getting nothing back when you feel like you're doing everything that you're supposed to be doing. So you may be feeling unheard or you may feel like the other person doesn't care. So why even try? So you're experiencing these negative. things when you feel like you're putting in the effort or you're following things you're that people are suggesting and it's just not working and where do you go from there all right so where do we go from there so number one before you like hey i'm
Speaker #0
quitting i'm out tap tap first we gotta we gotta see are are we doing everything on our part let's let's do some troubleshooting okay right And so what are some ways and what are some things that we can do to try to improve on the communication?
Speaker #1
Right.
Speaker #0
Can I put myself over into their shoes and cross the border? That's going to take humility. Yep. That's going to take selflessness. And that's hard. Right? Because we want our way and we want to be heard. And we want the effort given to us. But sometimes offering that extension. Being the first person laying down yourself and saying, okay, I'm going to be the bigger person and cross the bridge can be what that other person needs to have them drop all that stuff they've got built up in order for there to be compromise, in order for there to be progress to move forward.
Speaker #1
Right. And I feel like sometimes in order to put yourself in the other person's shoes, you need to take. a minute to step back and not be in the moment in the heat of whatever's happening that's not working. Going back to the example when I couldn't log in, like in that moment, right, my emotions are a little bit high. I'm already frustrated. I'm already trying things. That's not maybe the ideal moment, you know, to really be able to say, you know, my example didn't involve another person.
Speaker #0
But it does. It involves us. Right. And so I'm not saying that I'm perfect. And, you know, in this example that I'm going to give you, there was one person who was the bigger person, not saying you were little. Right. But in a moment where you were frustrated. in a moment where you wanted to quit, in a moment where you're like, I can't see this forward, well, one of us was like, hey, wait a minute, let's slow down.
Speaker #1
You were in the position to be able to do that. You were able to say, okay, let's take a step back. You also put yourself in my shoes and you said, I know this can be frustrating. I know you don't think it should have to be this many steps to work. So you're giving me something back. You're also stepping in and saying that you can help. Or hey, look. let me try this out and kind of giving me another solution. Right. So like you said, you are being that person taking those additional steps.
Speaker #0
So it's not like, Hey, adding to the problem. Right. I'm not saying, well, what are you, what are you doing wrong? It worked for me. You must be doing something wrong. Right. So we're not using those you statements. Correct. I'm using an I statement. Hey, let me see what I can do to help you. um i know i've found some so let me you know right so i'm not placing blame or shifting but and if you have that situation you know that's where it really gets dicey yes and again i'm not saying that we're perfect and we've got this marshmallow you know rainbow relationship where you know typically someone's going to be level-headed because had i been that way well that would have shut you down right that would have caused you to be like well who he think he is telling me what I can do. He thinks he's better than me, right? Because I'm belittling.
Speaker #1
More defensive. More defensive. Back and forth.
Speaker #0
So if you have that situation, right, you don't want to be the person that's doing that.
Speaker #1
Correct. Now, also in this situation, I could have gotten up and stormed out of the room, right, and just be done with the conversation, which you might be experiencing.
Speaker #0
I don't need your help.
Speaker #1
Your partner might be doing that. Don't tell me. Right. Shutting it down. Right. Walking away. right i'm not talking to you about this i don't care if you can fix it i don't want to do it right now right and that's a real life example of sure a disagreement where somebody may just have gone off the rails correct very easily very easily and people experience that right you know and so if the other person does walk away or does quit you know in that moment you could have still solved the problem for me without me being there right you could right you
Speaker #0
Right. Well, I was going to say like, okay, you know, if you would have stormed off, you know, give her, give her, let me give you that space. Okay. I'm still not going to quit. I'm not going to give up.
Speaker #1
You're still working on it.
Speaker #0
I'm going to still work on it. Or I'm going to say, you know what, let's come back and revisit this. Right. Okay. So maybe you do need to take a step back and maybe that was your test.
Speaker #1
Breaking point.
Speaker #0
Breaking point at that particular time. But the key that we're trying to make here is that at some point, you know, you're working together. That you don't want to be the one who's belittling. You don't want to be the one who's rejecting help or condemning. You want to be the person who is being patient. So the first thing we really want to do is go back to something that's very, very simple. But it's so very important. It's pray. You know, have we started, we've prayed together several times throughout today. This morning, our mealtimes, confessions, you know, and confessions, it's like we'll just together as a family to speak some scriptures over our lives, right? So prayer is important because it just aligns you with the peace and the presence of God. And as I'm praying for you and I'm praying for me, God help my words today. Be kind. Help me to understand. Help me to listen. Help me to be patient. Those things, I know it sounds elementary, but elementary is the things that keep things together.
Speaker #1
Right. It's the foundation and it works. Like we're not just saying this as a fluffy thing. Like that actually works, which I was going to say, ultimately, everything should be done with prayer. Sure. Now, in that example. where I was talking about if I would have left and you would have still worked out some good, or you're still going about what you should be doing. That is also going to show the person that did take that extra step of stonewalling or silent treatment or whatever. You're a living example at that point of how you can work through conflict resolution. I would have come back and realized, oh, you know, he was level-headed. He worked through the problem. He found a solution. And so even in that moment, if I didn't fully act how I should have acted, you were also showing me through your actions a solution or working through that conflict. Yeah. So even if you're experiencing somebody disregarding your feelings or disregarding what you're saying, they're also watching what you're doing. So if they're not praying with you, you can still pray on your own for your relationship. You don't have to have the other person with you to do what you need to do for your relationship. If that's the point where your relationship happens to be at.
Speaker #0
100%. Love to hear about you going through. Put those in the comments or where you are and how you feel about what we've said thus far. If you're getting anything from today's content, please like and subscribe. We would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. So another thing we can do, obviously, prayer is a foundation. We mentioned already is we can use those I statements and I languages. Where, all right, as I have, as I kind of go back and grade some of my behavior, my conversations with my partner, do I make statements of you? What are you doing and why did you do this way and put that down? Am I making these commands? Or am I practicing and showing patience? Am I showing a willingness to listen and to understand? Am I saying you made me feel this way or I felt this way? Correct. And not putting responsibility and blame on this person, but using those I language statements to help position in the communication and in the conversation. So we can check those things because those things can help. So again, before I'm like, I'm out, I'm quitting. Right. Can't talk to you. We got to look at
Speaker #1
I. Correct. So you're scrubbing your actions, what you're doing instead of he's not doing that. She's not doing this. Look at yourself first, right?
Speaker #0
It's hard.
Speaker #1
And then also using those. Something that you may not want to do or be. Right. It's hard to be like completely truthful to yourself. Yeah. Or accountable to the other person. Like, okay, yes, I really did do this in this situation. I wasn't as open as I needed to be. I wasn't using the active listening techniques that I know we've talked about, things like that. So you can also talk with your partner about those listening techniques before you get in that moment of the disagreement. Yeah. So start there with talking to your partner about those things before it's in action and really working through that. And also, if you can, set aside a specific time just to talk to your partner. one-on-one about your relationship because that's going to help build the foundation for when things do pop up later on.
Speaker #0
I'm thinking about two things at once. And so, because you've said something about, what did you just say?
Speaker #1
The active listening techniques, talking to your partner beforehand, and then also setting aside a specific time to talk to your partner.
Speaker #0
Right. You said that, I'm like, well, she might be listening or he might be listening and thinking, well, I can't talk to my partner. And so I want to address that because when you go in thinking and having the thought and the outlook of negativity, you're going to get negativity.
Speaker #1
That mindset, right?
Speaker #0
That mindset.
Speaker #1
What are you thinking?
Speaker #0
So if I'm thinking he's not going to listen, I'm going to communicate. That he's not going to listen. Like he's not going to listen. Right. Or like she's not going to receive. Right. Okay. So we got to break that pattern so that you can communicate as like they can receive.
Speaker #1
100%.
Speaker #0
Even though you were frustrated. One of the reasons that I kept going was I know I can fix this. I know this can work. Right. I know there's a solution for this. And so no matter where you are in your. conversation with your, again, your spouse, your partner, which we focus on, but your child, your coworker, whatever it is, have the mindset, I know this can work. Right. I know there is a resolution. I know there can be peace. And so with that in mind. I'm going to have a conversation with them. We're going to talk to them about going to grandma's house. And I know sometimes that can be touchy. So I'm going to use active listening. I'm going to make sure I use I statements. I'm going to make sure that I stay calm. I'm going to make sure that my tone is this and how I may have a person before I'm going to, I'm going to use a different angle. And so I believe this time when we have this conversation, I'm not going to respond like how I used to, and that's going to produce a different outcome as well.
Speaker #1
Absolutely. That is so powerful to go into any kind of conversation with that mindset of this can work. We can break through this. We can get through with a solution.
Speaker #0
Not to be world war three or blow up.
Speaker #1
Right. You're setting that already in your mind to actually come into action. And if. Your partner's not quite there yet. I mean, how powerful is that? If both people have a mindset, it's going to be awesome because you're going to be together, aligned, and you're both going to have that mindset and then nothing can stop you in your relationship. Now, if your partner's not quite there yet, it just goes back to praying, like praying for that mindset and setting that atmosphere around your home and in your relationship to get to that point.
Speaker #0
100%. That leads me. exactly where I wanted to go where I was like well Terrell Jen I've done those things I've done those steps but you know unfortunately my person just isn't there or whatever reason maybe they drink or when they get drunk it's a different person or you know I'm dealing with something else. Well, then that's where it kind of steps into having in some professional help. Correct. Yeah. It might be a coaching. It might be therapy counseling because we've got to deal with some things that are way deeper than we can address on a podcast. Right. Because there are things that are, could be hindering that are hindering that person that's keeping them from listening. They've got traumas, they've got triggers. There's a reason why they feel or they hear something that you didn't say or they come off a certain way. They haven't really dealt with. And so how to deal with that, if they're isolated and maybe they won't do counseling, well, you do it.
Speaker #1
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker #0
You get your coaching. We can walk you through those things because that's important because there are things you can do personally. that can shield you, that can help you, and then position you to talk with or do what you can with that person.
Speaker #1
Right, and that's so important. And, you know, taking that initial step of realizing you need somebody else to help out is just so important and powerful once you're like, okay, I'm going to seek out that therapy or I'm going to seek out that pastor or I'm going to seek out somebody that I know can speak to me. Really, give me that.
Speaker #0
It is so important.
Speaker #1
you know, view that I need to live.
Speaker #0
People will view. It's so important. I was sitting in church yesterday. We had a, and there's part of the service where people just crying and, you know, we're talking about emotions and just traumas and things that people have been with. And everyone has dealt with some stuff. Yeah. And I encourage each and every person. I know, you know, the Lord has forgiven us and, you know, he washes all things new. We got to talk some things out.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, and I know it's maybe hard or it seems scary or it's difficult to do, but when you go through it, it can be so freeing.
Speaker #0
It is absolutely freeing. So we are here for you. If you ever need us to come alongside you as your partner, as your cheerleader, as your coach, as someone who can say, yes, you can do this, or even just to be quiet and listen to you. We are here. Hi at Oakhavencompany.com. Send us an email. Send us a DM. at all social media at Oak Haven Company. We want to hear you. We want to pray for you, pray with you because you can have a happy, fulfilling, loving relationship that honors God and fulfills you. So thanks so much for listening today. We pray you got something from this. The moral of the story is when to give up, never give up, never give up. There's always a promise for you and there is a bright future for you. We have a prayer guide for you. We do. Come on,
Speaker #1
let's do that. We do. We have a prayer guide. This one is specifically for your relationship. So you may have heard of our, or had our other one about home atmosphere. Right. This one is specifically for your relationship. That's right. These are powerful prayers that your relationship needs to thrive and survive. And we have it in a free downloadable PDF that you can get today.
Speaker #0
Today. It's okhivancompany.com slash five prayers. Of course, the description is in the show notes. and below the video you've got to give us again this is a prayer guide specifically for your relationship we talked about how we pray each other every day these are five prayers that we pray so it's five prayers you can pray gives you the prayer the scriptural reference explanation about it it's absolutely wonderful it's a beautiful pdf it's laid out and you absolutely thrive and enjoy and be a great blessing to you it's your starting point just step one two okay let me start here Let me try this angle, right? I've tried everything else I have, Terrell. You didn't try this. So try this and see if this is going to help you personally. And then you'll see change in your real life. Get it today. You'll be glad you did. Thanks so much for listening, for joining us this week. We will see you next week on the Home and Haven podcast. And remember that wisdom builds the house.
Speaker #2
Did you get anything from today's topic? Do you want to build your home into a haven and have a peaceful atmosphere? Then take the first step and download your home prayer guide absolutely free. You'll find scriptures and prayers that pertain to the most common areas of your home life, from communication to finances, along with explanations of each topic. You'll have everything you need to speak the promise and not the problem. And did we mention it's free? Look for and click the link in the description. Our mission is to assist couples in their relationship communication. so that they can build a haven of peace and love. Friend, you can have a fulfilling relationship. And we hope today's topic provided tools that will help you experience the fullness of a faith-centered relationship. So connect with us on social and send a message. Find us at Oak Haven Company on all social media platforms. We also have additional resources available to assist you on your journey. So visit oakhavencompany.com today. and discover even more tools for success in your relationship communication. Again, thank you for listening. And remember, wisdom builds the house.

About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources:

Social: @oakhavencompany

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About Home to Haven | A Christian Marriage Podcast for Better Communication

Hi friend, we’re Terrell and Jen and welcome to the Home to Haven Podcast!

If you desire a stronger, faith-filled Christian marriage, better communication, and deeper connection, you’re in the right place!

Each episode is packed with practical tools and faith-based strategies to help in your Christian Marriage. You'll:

Improve marriage communication and understanding
Navigate conflict with grace and biblical wisdom
Create a peace-filled, joy-filled home rooted in Christ
Strengthen your emotional and spiritual connection

Marriage is God’s design for Christians, and He desires for it to thrive in it! Join us as we explore how to build a Christ-centered relationship that reflects His love and purpose.

Let’s turn your home into a haven, one conversation at a time.

In Expectation,
The Turners

Connect and View our Resources: