- Speaker #0
Oh, back in the sun.
- Speaker #1
Oh, sounds nice.
- Speaker #0
We're back.
- Speaker #1
Hello and welcome back, listeners, to House of Gossip. That's right, Clara and I are back after our summer hiatus. How long have we been off? Two months?
- Speaker #0
Two months.
- Speaker #1
Feels like ages ago. I don't know the last time.
- Speaker #0
Maybe seven weeks.
- Speaker #1
That we professionally spoke about celeb gossip. Clara and I are the hosts of House of Gossip, as I hope you all know, our weekly dose of pop culture nourishment. I hope that was a nice dulcet tone to set you off back on our journey, the oblivion that is celebrity gossip. Clara, how are you feeling today?
- Speaker #0
I'm great. Very happy to be back. I missed you. I missed talking gossip. I missed you too. I missed you so very, very much. Lots of gossipy bits happened. So it was fun to chat to while we were off. So it was fun to chat to people about that on Instagram because there was many showbiz. You think showbiz would go on holiday like we did, but no.
- Speaker #1
There was a lot of gossip.
- Speaker #0
There really was.
- Speaker #1
Obviously, we didn't have the outlet. So like I'd be talking about it, but wouldn't. It's not the same.
- Speaker #0
No, I didn't have my. soapbox to stand on.
- Speaker #1
No, or have an opinion about something that has nothing to do with me.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. I also love, like, say, in the office, people come to me as if I'm, like, we all have these funny, stupid names of head of snacks or head of whatever, but I'm head of gossip. I love that. But, like, say, you know the way Dave Grohl has, like, fathered this child. Oh, yeah. And, like, people in work are like, what do you think, like, here on the sidelines? And I'm like, well, you see, a famous man like that. Like he's like the nice guy of rock and roll.
- Speaker #1
What they're not telling you.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, is this. It's like nice guys of rock and roll are never nice. So why did we think he was the nice one? He's obviously cheating on us.
- Speaker #1
I love that that's your office perspective.
- Speaker #0
I don't want to make people think that I'm like gossiping behind their back. It's only celebs.
- Speaker #1
On the microphone, yeah, obviously.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, on the mic. Totally. I'm not. It's not like when someone goes to the loo and I'm like, oh, see those shoes.
- Speaker #1
That's me in my office. We have tons to get through this week. We're glad you're back listening, whether it be a Tuesday morning or a Sunday evening, or maybe you're just KOing listening to us. We're glad you're here. Now, Gazza, we have a bit of a new format, but we're always going to keep J'adore et J'atteste in the mix. Start us off with your J'adore et J'atteste. And for new listeners, this is something that Clara and I think about, that maybe during our week we see it being like, how annoying is that? Or, oh my God, that's amazing. Kick us off, Gazza.
- Speaker #0
Thank you so very much. So I don't know, like my J'adore is more a recap because while we're on our summer hiatus, I got married and that is a new feeling. So we did our legals in Shrewsbury, where Mick is from, and it was just like such a lovely day of love. It was a whole weekend, really. It was so much fun. So I'm still busting off that. We're like a month, a month. I'm sorry and your hen was after and my hen yeah so J'adore wedding bits I really did so the celebration party fun time wedding is in November and I actually really don't want it to happen because I love looking forward to it so much so and the hen sorry J'adore the hen that's where we left off last time oh my god didn't we have the best time you obviously can't see this but Clara has a cowboy Clara sash I oh look at this we had so many cowboy hats it was Cowboy Clara rooftop rodeo in the middle of London in Shoreditch it was the best crack we just couldn't have had a better time I absolutely what a lovely group it was so fun crazy aunties fun bridesmaids I fell in love with your one aunt you
- Speaker #1
did oh my god I couldn't stop chatting to her unreal yeah great time it was a great crew though
- Speaker #0
It was lots of glittery cowboy hats.
- Speaker #1
And my first drag show.
- Speaker #0
Was it your first? Yeah,
- Speaker #1
I don't think I've ever seen a proper stage.
- Speaker #0
They were singing, it was really amazing. Like sometimes I was just like, is this lip synced? But then it was like,
- Speaker #1
whoa. What was the name of it?
- Speaker #0
Queens with a Z.
- Speaker #1
Oh my God. If someone needs to go to their first drag show, why would set the bar for me?
- Speaker #0
I thought it was amazing. It was really good. And then just dancing around handbags, like what more could a gal want? It was perfect. It was so much fun. And the weather was amazing. It was just because the weather's been so hit and miss all summer. So I felt very lucky.
- Speaker #1
Oh,
- Speaker #0
Rob. And then, yeah, Shrewsbury was just gorgeous. If anyone is getting married or engaged, I couldn't encourage it more to do the legals and have two weddings. Have five. If we have five. Not only do you get two days. So we did our legal ceremony in the town hall in Shrewsbury and had lunch afterwards and then just kind of had a pub thing. But what it really did was, because I'm the first to get married in my family. Yeehaw. And there's a lot of emotion and anticipation and there's a lot riding on the day because it's everyone's first. So I learned so many lessons from the Shrewsbury day. that as I look ahead to the November party, I'm just like, okay.
- Speaker #1
Game's on.
- Speaker #0
I know what to do, what not to do. I'm used to everyone looking at me. I'm used to the photos.
- Speaker #1
Meetings.
- Speaker #0
The speeches. I cried like the whole, the whole day. Like I looked at Jess, my best friend, hugged like maybe my mom and that set me off. Like anything was setting me off. I was like, my... Best friend is here and she was the witness on the legal thing and I was like, she's come all this way for me. Like, honestly, I was inconsolable. It was like, not a dress rehearsal because I don't do it to disservice, but it was a great dry run and it got everyone kind of like, okay.
- Speaker #1
Showtime.
- Speaker #0
Showtime. So if you're considering the legal thing and then you, it's so special today. It's, I just thought we'd go in and sign the documents. It's like a little mini ceremony. You can still do all your music and all that stuff, but it's, it is a great. dry run because I would be things go so fast so then yeah that's what everyone says yeah that you like you have to you're kind of I needed a dry run something like obviously getting married on the day is amazing because it's so much more special because the legals get done that day and it's beautiful in its own way but for me personally I need to have a few goes to get it right and that top tip to anyone just do the legal separately do a few more days More hats to buy. Anyway, so what are you love narrating? Is it all a test?
- Speaker #1
He also loved your hand, just FYI.
- Speaker #0
Oh, it was so much fun.
- Speaker #1
And I look forward to seeing everyone in November.
- Speaker #0
Yes, here we go. Party on down.
- Speaker #1
My, I was going to do a J'adore, but it was just very simple. So mine is a J'attest, sadly. It's not, it is a bit negative, but.
- Speaker #0
Come on, give it to me.
- Speaker #1
It's been bothering me. I've noticed that Irish people are missing the. the T enunciation a lot and it annoys me. And I have three examples. The word beetroot. Beetroot. People say beetroot and it drives me insane. Instead of 20, they say 20. And instead of Gatwick, they say Gatwick. And I get it because I do it sometimes because I'm talking quickly, but we have to put the T's back in, girls. It sounds terrible.
- Speaker #0
I call it Gitty Gitty Gat Gats. Does that go?
- Speaker #1
That's better than Gatwick. It's Gatwick. Gatwick.
- Speaker #0
Gatwick. I definitely see. Oh, I say beetroot. I say beetroot.
- Speaker #1
Loads of people do. I do it sometimes, but it annoys me.
- Speaker #0
So my sister Sophie's friends always gets, you know, confused with the beetroot and says root beet.
- Speaker #1
As long as she says root beet, I'm fine with it.
- Speaker #0
And neek at the wheeze instead of weak at the knees.
- Speaker #1
This girl sounds a bit like me.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, she's like amazing. As a woman of era living in England, the English also have a funny way of saying their T's. Like they say T-H as T, like they say Thailand, whereas we say
- Speaker #1
Thailand. They also say instead of six, they say siffs, sith. It's like sips. and they do it after, I need to hear someone doing it. Someone did it to me yesterday. They can't speak either. Yeah. Just announce your teas.
- Speaker #0
Bring the teas back.
- Speaker #1
Spill the tea and announce the tea.
- Speaker #0
And pronounce the tea.
- Speaker #1
It's really bothering me.
- Speaker #0
Okay. Bula Bussar Fad.
- Speaker #1
Muchas gracias. So, Clara and I have decided to do a little bit of a more highbrow section. Just a quick few minutes of something that might be going on that's not necessarily celeb gossip. that we kind of want to talk to each other about. I had a few.
- Speaker #0
A news bite. Yeah,
- Speaker #1
I had a few that I want to talk to you about, but I've just picked one, you know, because we can't do it all. so I want to talk to you about this is obviously a UK thing um but I'm sure the Irish listeners have heard about it across the UK under Labour's rule just this past few weeks 1700 prisoners were released early from prison to avoid overcrowding that's such a bullshit excuse and more are expected in October so it's supposed to be about 7,000 altogether
- Speaker #0
7,000?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, over the next few weeks. And several of them have already been recalled to jail.
- Speaker #0
Recalled?
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And, like, there was, like, photos of them outside the jails, like, with champagne and stuff, like, thanking Kierre.
- Speaker #0
Kierre.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, you're right. Thanks,
- Speaker #0
Kierre.
- Speaker #1
And also, it's obviously now...
- Speaker #0
What do you mean, Kierre?
- Speaker #1
I say Kierre.
- Speaker #0
I love it. It's like Pierre.
- Speaker #1
That's also a building... building company, Kierre. Thank you, Kierre.
- Speaker #0
Kierre,
- Speaker #1
Rob. Obviously, you'd think that they'd put tags on all these prisoners, but it's now come out that Serco, who got the contract for doing said tagging, a lot of the prisoners haven't been fitted by Serco with a tag. And they're getting into huge trouble now about that. And they were saying, you know, why have they not been tagged as soon as they left? Like, what was the plan? And Serco have come back and said because they weren't at home when the staff came around to fix the tags.
- Speaker #0
OK. OK. So we just gave up. We just gave up. Also,
- Speaker #1
just like no planning. What came into my head was in the devil was Prado and Meryl Streep is like, why is nobody ready? Plan it before you not let them escape.
- Speaker #0
But like tag them as they leave the prison.
- Speaker #1
I know. Because it's obviously like an external contractor.
- Speaker #0
But I think that happens in America a lot as well. Like people don't, I think pretty sure that's why Paris Hilton didn't go to jail because of overcrowding. And it's such a mad problem. And like I actually talked to somebody recently who worked in the prison service and they left because it was more to do with the bureaucracy of how the prisons were run. Oh,
- Speaker #1
it's insane.
- Speaker #0
She went in wanting to like help and make a difference. And it was more to do with the like the inner politics of how the prison worked. And she was like, she was this tiny little blonde girl. And working in a man's high security prison. And she was like, it wasn't the prisoners were the hard part. It was actually dealing with the people. And she was like, I did a year and like my hair started falling out. So I just was like, you know what? No, really? I'm not. I can't change this. I can't turn the wheel back. So are the prisoners getting released? They're obviously not like murderers. It's more like low level crimes.
- Speaker #1
No, some are domestic abusers. Some people have murdered other people. And then it could be like good behavior. I haven't seen anything on why or how the decision was made. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
I haven't seen anything on that but like 7,000 people is a lot and some of them have already re-offended but you're just making the streets unsafe but I could I appreciate like it's kind of like where do you put them though if it is overcrowding there's also so many prison construction projects going on at the moment okay so does that mean there's tons so does that mean then there'll be more there won't be the overcrowding issue will last because that like that creates jobs well they take a few years to build okay bizarre. As a woman, you know, it's scary being alone a night on a woman on a street. And, you know, knowing that the streets might be a little bit unsafe because there's 7000 more criminals being let out early is a terrifying thought.
- Speaker #1
But then I'm also like, I know someone who got fined for their bin. A fox went into their bin and their bins were at the front of their house. OK. And a fox obviously went in and. pulls the bag outside the parameters of the property. And so she got a fine for like over £100 because her rubbish wasn't in her bin. And I'm like, okay, so like an average citizen is getting, I know it's not the same thing, but then you're like, why am I getting in trouble for stuff like that? And these, this sort of willy nilly stuff going on, it makes no sense.
- Speaker #0
That is so true.
- Speaker #1
Or the TV license.
- Speaker #0
Sorry, they're non-stop bringing you into court. Or if you don't pay your council tax.
- Speaker #1
TV licence. Yeah, council tax, which is essentially bins. Like, it makes no sense.
- Speaker #0
But why is it my fault that a fox went into my bin? Oh, I know.
- Speaker #1
Also, someone, two girls behind me on the tube earlier came out behind me in the barrier. So obviously didn't pay for their thing. And I'm like, if I did that, it's not fair.
- Speaker #0
And it's also like, how are we using... Like, how are we using our resources? So they're going to go after the bin girl, but they're not going to go after, yeah, the like the criminal that is on the street. Like, it just doesn't make any sense that, you know, are we wasting our time here a little bit by chasing the everyday man for a problem that isn't really their fault?
- Speaker #1
Very threatening letters came through to register to vote.
- Speaker #0
And they're very scary.
- Speaker #1
at the time and they say you can be brought to court if you don't register. Use that paper for something else buddy. Gazza, what's our main topic?
- Speaker #0
So I just want to have a micro rant about Katy Perry. So she's back to promote her sixth studio album 143 which I don't know the meaning behind.
- Speaker #1
Just when you said it, I was listening to her Call Her Daddy episode. Yeah. And 143 is the old text code for I love you. But I don't know why I would have thought I love you would have been, you know, like with the Nokia.
- Speaker #0
You could do I heart you.
- Speaker #1
Anyway, that's what apparently it means.
- Speaker #0
Anyway, she was popping up all summer long with her like new bod.
- Speaker #1
She was popping up all summer. Yeah, the new bod.
- Speaker #0
The new bod, the new face.
- Speaker #1
She looks sensational.
- Speaker #0
You know the Every Outfit podcast? Yeah. The Sex and the City one. That's hosted by Lauren Garoni and Chelsea Burles. Chelsea Burles is married to this Australian woman called Tatiana. And Tatiana is Katy Perry's stylist, which I thought was very interesting. I just feel like everywhere I look, I'm seeing Katy Perry at the moment. And... I find her the most disingenuous, fame hungry pop star going. Oh. I feel like she will do whatever it takes to like stay relevant, go viral. What really set me off was the, okay, fair enough, coming back with a new album, whoop-de-doo, great. But what really irked me over the summer was she's back working with Dr. Luke. So Dr. Luke.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, sorry, I saw this.
- Speaker #0
Is your man who Kesha. sued for a whole host of horrible, awful things, egregious things. And in the court documents, Kesha had said that Dr. Luke had assaulted and maybe even raped Katy Perry. But Katy Perry came out and was like, no, no, that didn't happen. That wasn't true. So I don't know why Kesha was bringing in Katy Perry into that. Dr. Luke is this awful man, kept her in this horrible legal battle for years and years and years. But to write this new song, Woman's World, with Dr. Luke, the guy who's like horrible.
- Speaker #1
I'm shocked he's still working.
- Speaker #0
I'm shocked he's still working. He must be so protective.
- Speaker #1
The stuff was awful.
- Speaker #0
Really disgusting. And like, you're writing a song called Woman's World and then like this, and then you're going, having to defend it, going, no, it's satire, no, it's satire. It really has been the summer, the year of the girlies, like the VMAs was just like, Chapel Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, like we had Beyonce, Taylor Swift earlier this year. you know, it's really, sorry, Charlie XCX, Billie Eilish. Like it's been a huge, huge, huge year. And then I just feel like Katy Perry's like, hey, I'm one of you. Let me get in there. Come on. It's a woman's world. I just don't think there's not one bit of her output as a musical artist that actually is genuine. I just think she just like, oh, I'm going to, I kissed a girl because that's, it's like. kind of raunchy and sexy to say that. You know, I just think she's a chameleon that doesn't have any grounds for... I feel like she doesn't have an opinion on anything. She just will agree to what's going on in the world now. And, like, now that everybody wants, like, you know, you have your Bratzomer, you have Billie Eilish, you have people who are just, like, really authentic in their kind of, like, branding or in their kind of, like... Output. In their output, thank you. Like, even Sabrina Carpenter, like... He is like such a Polly Pocket, like Barbie plastic fantasy. Yeah. But then she stays like so true to that. Whereas Katy Perry is just like.
- Speaker #1
Is everywhere.
- Speaker #0
Is everywhere and kind of nowhere. And I just think who is on her team telling her.
- Speaker #1
Pick a lane.
- Speaker #0
Pick a lane. And like I watched her. So she got that VMA, the video. Is it the Video Vanguard Awards?
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
And like she's got like, sorry, the performance was really good. And like some of you kind of forgot how many good songs she has. Like, don't get me wrong. But then she does this like super sexy scene with, I forget the rapper's name. And they're doing like, it's kind of like ripping off the WAP thing. And they're the sexual dance in there, like obviously like in no way approved.
- Speaker #1
Oh, sorry. In the performance?
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
Oh, my God. I almost had to block my eyes.
- Speaker #0
It was like really, like it was so sexy. No, I mean it like in a positive way. It was so sexy. Like it was...
- Speaker #1
Sorry, forgive me for interrupting you, but... They showed them doing that and they're grand with that. But then they block Sabrina Carpenter saying fucking in her song.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, weird.
- Speaker #1
That makes no sense because that was extremely graphic.
- Speaker #0
But they love the sex, but they hate the potty mouth swearing. It's weird.
- Speaker #1
I beg you don't embarrass me.
- Speaker #0
How funny was Sabrina Carpenter's outfit reveal? And she just like removed like a part of her top. It's amazing.
- Speaker #1
Just a touch of the corset.
- Speaker #0
I just feel like with Katy Perry, she's like looking for a reaction, but it's like, I want to make a headline rather than it doing it for the reasons. Like say how Lady Gaga would make a headline in her meat dress or something. It's more like from her core up. Whereas I think Katie's thinking about like the reaction all the time.
- Speaker #1
I agree with you. I don't know what the brand identity is and I don't think there is a strategy.
- Speaker #0
No. And the Shameless podcast did a great deep dive. I think it's a... two or three parter into Katy Perry their scandal oh they're always really cutting their scandal series and they were they were very balanced but they're also just saying like you know like she's gotten in so many legal battles with elderly people about their homes I haven't heard about that yeah I just I find the whole thing like very disingenuous anyway what are your thoughts you listen to your own
- Speaker #1
Call Her Daddy so her Call Her Daddy episode I don't know if you'd like it But she's very, she's gone to these kind of wellness retreats that Orlando Bloom has gone to. And all about higher spirits and powers and building yourself to be a greater partner and all this kind of stuff. And it was actually kind of interesting, to be honest. And I feel like she is kind of on another planet, not in a bad way. I haven't, I know she got loads of backlash for this new thing. I actually think she's similar to Dua Lipa. where, because Dua Lipa, I think, I have no idea who she is. She is a pure robot doing what a record company have mapped out in a strategy. If you watch her in Glastonbury, it's like dance, dance. There is no freestyle. It's all carefully curated. And I think that's exactly what is going on with Katy Perry. I have no idea who Dua Lipa is. I have no clue. Absolutely no idea. And I won't. And she doesn't say anything. Our glass number, she was like, it was like she was a monogram. Not a monogram, a hologram.
- Speaker #0
Interesting. I haven't even heard of her.
- Speaker #1
Look at her glass number. There's no, there's not a human behind it. I think you should listen to the Call Her Daddy episode. She talks about her and Orlando Bloom in it.
- Speaker #0
I saw a few clips and it was like, if you do the housework, like my love language is this, if you do the housework. I will give you a blowjob.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it's very kind of woo-woo therapy talk.
- Speaker #0
Like she's a very charming person. She is. Like Radio 1 recently.
- Speaker #1
Because remember she was quite radical.
- Speaker #0
She's like, oh, I preach your parents and now I'm singing a song called I Kissed a Girl.
- Speaker #1
And she'd be like, I was scoring girls, you know, whatever. I'm curious. Like that is quite radical to do 20 years ago. And the clothes are wearing her.
- Speaker #0
Yes. And she's trying to do her old stuff in a new world. She hasn't really like... It doesn't feel like she's modernized that much. She's like, OK, well, if I get the cool stylist, the new face, the new body, then... The robot gear. Yeah, it's robotic or something. It just doesn't... I just feel like it's like a facade. There's nothing going on there.
- Speaker #1
I feel like that was a real thesis point I made. Julie,
- Speaker #0
but yeah, I think you're right.
- Speaker #1
Leaving cert, compare and contrast.
- Speaker #0
She's like the English or the American Julie, but... Yeah, I just feel, yeah, there's just something very inauthentic about it. Or like, you know, you need to charm someone. Katy Perry can turn on the charm and tricks you into thinking she has substance, but she doesn't. Sorry.
- Speaker #1
I think she does probably as a person, but not as a performer. Is that what you mean? Sorry, that's what I think I mean.
- Speaker #0
Okay.
- Speaker #1
And she's, mother of God, she's hot. I still really like her. I thought her performance was amazing. all the top songs.
- Speaker #0
The performance was really good. I just, I just wonder like, what's her stance on anything? I feel like she's like, okay, I'm going to go back. Who am I? The choice to use Dr. Luke is very, like, how could you write a song called A Woman's World with a man?
- Speaker #1
She didn't have an answer either.
- Speaker #0
She doesn't have an answer. It's kind of like, well, that's kind of what worked for me. And it was so rehearsed.
- Speaker #1
She's like, he was on that record with a load of other people.
- Speaker #0
It's kind of like I'm the one it's yeah, it's my name on the door kind of thing. And it's like,
- Speaker #1
yeah,
- Speaker #0
I just don't know if you're it's like she's like so hyper famous. And it's obviously she is, sorry, hyper famous. And in this kind of like billionaire because, you know, she's like a billionaire. Like she sold all her music like she is. She doesn't need to go on this tour. She's on this tour for like relevancy. So and she gets like hundreds of millions for American Idol or. Oh yeah, I thought she did that. And she sold all of her, the rights to all her music, so she does not need to work. So I just don't see why she...
- Speaker #1
Go home.
- Speaker #0
Go home. I just...
- Speaker #1
You know who else needs to go home? Orlando Bloom. Oh yeah. No one cares. Why was he there? Like, no one cares. We know you're with Orlando Bloom.
- Speaker #0
Are they married? Or are they just together? No.
- Speaker #1
So, but I just feel like he's getting loads of spotlight. And it's like, what are you doing there? He's annoying me over anyone else.
- Speaker #0
I just see him checking out Kim Kardashian and he's like really looking at her bum or like at the back of her.
- Speaker #1
He has no personality. I remember seeing him interview being like, this guy is empty like a vase.
- Speaker #0
The two of them are like sucking the life out of each other. It's a very like spiral down. But, and I do think like when they, when they are at this like stratosphere, like like billionaire levels.
- Speaker #1
Sit down.
- Speaker #0
Obviously how the everyday woman who related to Kesha and who feels like is affected by those kind of stories. They're just not in the same stratosphere. So they're never going to think how it impacts. And like it just shows you the team that they have around them.
- Speaker #1
It hasn't been thought out.
- Speaker #0
No.
- Speaker #1
Or maybe it's been too thought out.
- Speaker #0
It's like she's been made in a factory and it's just like, okay.
- Speaker #1
Dua Lipa has also been made in a factory.
- Speaker #0
Anyway, so that's my mega rant over.
- Speaker #1
I really enjoyed that.
- Speaker #0
Great thesis.
- Speaker #1
I love my thesis.
- Speaker #0
Hello, Harvard.
- Speaker #1
When we were talking about coming back, I was like, there's a theme going on in my noggin about something that's happened in the last month to so many celebs. And it's breakup season. I was like, another breakup, ding, ding, another breakup, ding, ding, ding. And it just kept going up and up. And it was like basically the month of August that all of these have happened in when I looked back. So I've come up with a list and then I have a thesis on why it happens at the end of summer.
- Speaker #0
Oh, intriguing.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I mean, maybe it's just that the guy's an asshole. I don't know. But here we are. Obviously, Ben and Jen, you may have called this circa two years ago. And, you know. I don't think you were correct saying it was a PR stunt. I think they just wanted what they had 20 years ago and then obviously couldn't get it back.
- Speaker #0
to what it was he's also such a grumpy puss oh my god watching the footage of him sourpuss away seriously i know a few guys like that where you're like why are you here with your girlfriend you're miserable miserable just stay home roger go home roger just go home i've had a few of those in my orbit i.e they i brought them to the party and you're like You're miserable, leave. Don't make me... Like,
- Speaker #1
no one's forcing you at gunpoint.
- Speaker #0
And you're just not having crack. You're draining the energy. And Ben does that. Yeah, he does. And she, to be fair, look, I know she's a bit of a maniac. And I know she's a bit greedy.
- Speaker #1
But... I do feel people are sympathising with her now because they know how grumpy he is.
- Speaker #0
But I do because she's with this grumpy puss who said, yeah, I want this back. And then he's just like... ruining all the photographs he's huffing slamming her car like I actually know someone so like that yeah and it's so unattractive it is you know what else it is it's it's disrespectful uh-huh do you know what I mean if you're gonna bring the girl down don't
- Speaker #1
just leave get out right now but like how narcissistic are you to think that like This doesn't suit me in a way that I want it to. So I'm going to be a grumpy puss.
- Speaker #0
And huff all the time. He's always huffing. But then he'll like kiss her. Huffing and puffing. Like, no.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, what was all that Beverly Hills? So I love this. Like, oh, we're broken up. But then they go to like the epicenter of Hollywood and with their kids.
- Speaker #0
The epicenter of the explosion. Yeah, so they've divorced a few weeks ago. But apparently they decided in April. Okay. And then. she announced it I think on their anniversary which is their two year wedding anniversary that is such an amazing move but then they were seeing at Beth Hill's hotel trotting around with their kids and they looked cozy apparently cozy and apparently canoodling what grumpy puss like
- Speaker #1
also I think it's nice to see you on her side yeah I thought we would have kind of forgotten it was okay they finally announced their divorce and great peace Well, can we...
- Speaker #0
Can we move it along here?
- Speaker #1
Can we just forget about them for a while? Let's move it on. Like, it's dead. Let's go.
- Speaker #0
You said you're divorcing. We don't want to see you together again. With the kids or not.
- Speaker #1
And now here they are again. But like, you can easily... That big fucking mansion you're trying to sell. Go into one of those rooms and like catch up privately.
- Speaker #0
Oh, it was very on purpose. It was very on purpose.
- Speaker #1
So like, why are you still courting the media? I find that really relentless. It's like, Ben...
- Speaker #0
He's such a grumpy puss.
- Speaker #1
If he's annoyed, why are you going to the Beverly Hills Hotel?
- Speaker #0
With the kids.
- Speaker #1
Like, come on. Like, you can go anywhere else.
- Speaker #0
I thought it was a weird... I wonder, do they even talk? They must have great sexual chemistry to still be meeting up.
- Speaker #1
But, like, if they were cosy.
- Speaker #0
They must.
- Speaker #1
Or like, oh, we're meeting up for the kids. Yeah, big whoop, but, like, you can do that on private. You don't need to do that in, like, literally TMZ's birthplace.
- Speaker #0
TMZ's backyard what?
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And then like, did you see there was another photo like and she was on the red carpet and she purposely wore a dress that exposed her like Ben. Oh, too. But she had put makeup over it. So it was like, oh, Jen, go, go, girl, you're divorced. And then at that party, Matt Damon was there some movie that. Oh,
- Speaker #0
sorry. Yeah, I know.
- Speaker #1
Ben Affleck has produced and then her and Matt were like seen like holding hands, talking. You just know they're fucking going, why is he such a grumpy puss?
- Speaker #0
I'm sorry he's a grumpy puss. She's like, he is a grumpy puss.
- Speaker #1
What do I do? My grumpy puss.
- Speaker #0
To any grumpy puss listening, I don't think you'd have enough fun and you to be listening, but just fuck off.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, just puss off somewhere else.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, just be a drain somewhere. Fuck her off. Trot off.
- Speaker #1
Just take your, yeah, take your energy and just piss off and annoy somebody else. But don't be dragging me down. Oh my God,
- Speaker #0
totally. And also unconfirmed Barry and Sabrina. But I actually don't think that's true. And I love her.
- Speaker #1
So I know reports they were canoodling all over New York.
- Speaker #0
I'm happy with that. I hope he's getting getting him. You know, I just hope they're doing OK. I don't want to talk badly about them because I love her. She's doing a Christmas special. Yes.
- Speaker #1
On Netflix.
- Speaker #0
Just announced. Just announced.
- Speaker #1
Is she coming from Mariah's crown?
- Speaker #0
I don't even think she needs to. She's an entity in herself. I love her.
- Speaker #1
I know. But the queen. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Bright ballads over the summer, espresso.
- Speaker #1
That short and sweet album is so good.
- Speaker #0
Please, please, please. What does it taste? Oh, I leave quite an impression. Sorry. So they're apparently together, but I think something must have happened if they said that. Then also Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson. Apparently that's actually false news, but it was announced. Don't know. Really like them too. I can't talk shit about them.
- Speaker #1
He needs to stop wearing belly tops. Could he break the belly?
- Speaker #0
Don't do that. We're not bashing Chris Martin.
- Speaker #1
I've seen so much of that man's midriff. Yeah,
- Speaker #0
you want to see it? He's honestly a god.
- Speaker #1
He can do no wrong.
- Speaker #0
He can do no wrong. Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, they filed.
- Speaker #1
Wow, now that is fucking juicy. That is the stickiest breakup.
- Speaker #0
Oh my God, they just can't get it together. His quote was, we had a short-term marriage of eight years. eight and eight months and separated over six years ago and she started living with her fiance her now fiance just after that separation boom but they're in massive problems she's saying he was being shady trying to hide finance statements and stuff due to with licensing for magic mike and he's saying no she's big fat liar like i've shown her everything and he's like she And she's asking for moral child support. And he's like, she has loads of money. He has so much money for Magic Mike because he invested in it.
- Speaker #1
It's so franchise. But she's saying like, I helped you come up with that. Like, you know, I was on maternity. Oh,
- Speaker #0
is she?
- Speaker #1
When you were coming up with that idea and I helped you and I couldn't work because I was having your baby. And I helped you come up with the Magic Mike idea and grow that. And now you're just pretending you invented it. So it is.
- Speaker #0
Oh,
- Speaker #1
that's really sticky. So nifty. Pretty. Pretty sticky. It's really bad because they were such a darling couple. Like on.
- Speaker #0
Oh, from the days of Step Up, I remember being like, I want to go to theatre school and I want to find my dance part.
- Speaker #1
I want to be on my way to Juilliard.
- Speaker #0
I want to do Julia Stiles'audition tape with Derek, with my Derek, choreographing it.
- Speaker #1
Oh, you know that dance in the puddle and it's like.
- Speaker #0
The breathing. When I do find my long term, like my dance partner, wink, wink, I'm making him and me do Derek and Sarah from Men.
- Speaker #1
You should do that at the wedding. A hundred percent. No, or do the step up one, not the save the last dance. No, the save the last dance. It's a live struggle.
- Speaker #0
Better.
- Speaker #1
No, we could have a puddle and be all wet doing dance.
- Speaker #0
No, just the save the last dance when we're doing this. their heads it's so good I think by himself Michael girl you know what's up you know what I like and he she's doing a bit of ballet in between oh it's so good also Rachel Zoe the stylist and her husband 33 years together 26 years of marriage and they've just announced their split in the last few weeks which I was really sad about because I used to watch her reality show because she used to style so many people oh
- Speaker #1
No, I didn't. God, they were together a long time. Fuck, that's hard.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, apparently business got in the way and just mixing business and personal. Ladies, we know not to do it. Also, Leah Remini.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
20 years of marriage in the trash, in the bog. Oh,
- Speaker #1
for God's sake. In the bog.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. And Tommy and Molly.
- Speaker #1
Oh, dirty, dirty dog. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Martine McCutcheon, 18 years of marriage. And she also... No. Her statement was really... let me remind you this is all in August whoa I've missed most of these I know and then I've looked into sorry just before that Martine McCutcheon her statement is so like there's so much behind it she goes after much thought and consideration Jack has decided it's best for us to separate after 18 years together and I accept his decision Martine what does that mean I love it
- Speaker #1
He broke up with me. I didn't want to. Or yeah,
- Speaker #0
I don't know what it is, but I just really like it's like Jack has decided. I think that's really great. Tommy and Molly, I don't really have much to say about them, but I did look up why this was happening. Like, why is it breakup season? And over the summer, I became a huge regular visitor of Quora.
- Speaker #1
Oh, yes. Answers all your questions.
- Speaker #0
Quora is where I look up dreams. I look up stuff about people being pricks. I look up stuff about like... 11-11 anything yeah so apparently the reason why it happens in summer is that a lot of the time over summer there's more free time less responsibilities it's this kind of break so like kind of what you're doing feels kind of fun and free and flowing but then when you're going back into September it's kind of like oh we're back vacations and travel get into the mix you know there's a bit more freedom especially London London's very very hot and horny in the summer
- Speaker #1
It's very hot and horny. Yeah,
- Speaker #0
outdoor activities and parties with somewhat nice weather. Stuff like barbecues and stuff. You're kind of floating. There's a lot of alcohol, you know. Your inhibitions might be a bit lower because you're like, it's summer.
- Speaker #1
That's very true.
- Speaker #0
But the main one... That spoke to me. Also, apparently hot weather and less clothing in the summer means that people are really flirty and then it comes back into autumn. People put their jumpers on.
- Speaker #1
Yes, put their bras back on.
- Speaker #0
Put your bras and your underpants back on and back to business. Another one which really resonated with me was seasonal affective disorder. The winter blues hit people in darker months and they become grumpy pusses. This usually would make people either strengthen a bond or completely. let's go of it yeah grumpy puss season it's a grumpy puss apocalypse and apparently that's why i some of them i'm really like very sad about other ones like tommy and molly i'm like he's such a prick like did we really think they were gonna go the distance i and i watched their love island did then why aren't you more upset because he's a prick i'm like there we don't need a resolution to that he's an arsehole he is a prick
- Speaker #1
The reports from him cheating on her are like, he had a security who took all the people's phones and started deleting it. But like, obviously still, people still got pictures of him kissing somebody else in like some of your Eastern European country.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
It's just like, oh, like he's definitely cheating. How?
- Speaker #0
He thought you're doofus. And she's, I really like her from what I've seen. I think she's super nice and she seems.
- Speaker #1
She's handled it really well.
- Speaker #0
And she seems really happy with her baby. I'm like, you big fat doofus.
- Speaker #1
I just think, yeah, men just constantly disappoint, don't they? Why can't they just keep what's good? Why can't they level up?
- Speaker #0
They're in shit together. They're in shit together.
- Speaker #1
They can't level up. They can't level up.
- Speaker #0
No, here's the bar. Come join me.
- Speaker #1
Like, hello down there. How are you? Do you fancy stepping on? Oh, no, you can't. You're too much of a baby. Oh, no. It's really just... Women just mature so much earlier than men. And like, it's just like... Do you like being down there, sir? It's just a little bit like, do you not care for your own development to maybe like think about...
- Speaker #0
You monkey!
- Speaker #1
You monkey, like think about like your, in Tommy's case, your girlfriend of like five or six years, your baby and that impact. How it ripples into your own family, their family. Like, can you stop thinking about yourself for once?
- Speaker #0
I don't think he would have thought.
- Speaker #1
It's always like, how does this affect me? This doesn't suit me.
- Speaker #0
Apparently cheating as well happens a lot in the summer based off of Cora.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it's because no one's wearing any bras or pants.
- Speaker #0
It's Cora-fied.
- Speaker #1
It's Cora-fied. So will the good men rise, please? Because there's a lot of man-children who think they live in Never Neverland and need to fucking grow up and just stop thinking about themselves.
- Speaker #0
Word.
- Speaker #1
I'm sick of these Peter Pan's. His homes and where else. This is the real world and you're wasting everyone's time. Being selfish and not funny. That's crucial.
- Speaker #0
That's the killer. That's the kicker.
- Speaker #1
Laughter is the key to life. Isn't it? Do you want to go through your life being a grumpy puss Ben Affleck?
- Speaker #0
He is. He's a long living grumpy puss. He's been a grumpy puss for years.
- Speaker #1
Life is short. can we not have a lull or just a tete-a-tete complaining about being tired or whatever like come on I'm tired too but I still have a lull I'm always bring it I'm up till 1am watching slabs go dating every night this week do you see me complaining about being tired no
- Speaker #0
I'm always tired in the tube in the morning and in the evening I always bring it to the tete-a-tete laughs
- Speaker #1
I'm bringing it. I'm tatting and I'm tatting.
- Speaker #0
I am the tat.
- Speaker #1
You've got to see the positives in life, people. Women are amazing. Like, you know, I just, not even women. People who've got good energy. The level downers want to stay down there and they just stay put. The gobshites. The gobshites, honestly.
- Speaker #0
That was pretty nice.
- Speaker #1
Like, yeah, that was nice. You know. life's all about growth and development and laughing a lot or you know like growing and changing and maturing and like some people just don't want to do that and just choose to live life in a real negative space and it just needs to move on you need to just grow
- Speaker #0
a pair they definitely don't listen they yeah exactly your way back and have a laugh yeah come on I love talking about breakup season with you, Gazza, especially that latter end. That was really fun. We also have a recommendation from Gazza. this week to finish this off. And I'm very excited because apparently it's TV.
- Speaker #1
Yes. I've been in a good rhythm of teleconsumption. But two ones that have stood out to me are two Aussie ones. Oh. Firstly, oh no, funny. First one is Colin from Accounts, season two. It's on iPlayer. It is so much better than season one. It's about a couple who meet via a dog called Colin. It's hilarious. Season two, devoured it in like two evenings. Really, really good. Oh. Half an hour, lovely, like, sit down at the couch with your dinner. And I love that Aussie comedy that's like slapstick. Not slapstick, like slaggy. Like they read each other to filth. Like it's just like they're just slagging each other the whole time. It's really, really well written. Very funny. And number two is another Aussie similar comedy vibe, but it's a drama and it's crime, but it's funny. It's on Amazon Prime. It's called Deadlock.
- Speaker #0
Okay.
- Speaker #1
And it's about this community in Tasmania. which is like a little small town, but like loads of lesbians have moved there because it's like this beautiful scenery. But there's this huge, amazing lesbian community. And one of the cops is part of this community and a murder happens. And then a detective comes down and it's a bit of a like, you know, partner. They're kind of sizing each other up again, reading each other's filth. But it's like all these deaths are happening. So it's a regular like mystery whodunit, but it's so funny. And the tension is done really well.
- Speaker #0
Oh, I want to watch this now. Usually Australian stuff and always me.
- Speaker #1
It's really funny. No, no. Well, I hope you like it. But yeah, Amazon Prime. Apparently season two is out, but it's not on Prime yet. But really, really highly recommend. It's very funny. And it's like all the people who die are men. So it's great.
- Speaker #0
Very fitting with Cora.
- Speaker #1
Yes. Quora, yeah.
- Speaker #0
Also, just another recommendation. Go on to Quora,
- Speaker #1
girls. Yeah, ask it anything you want.
- Speaker #0
Q-U-O-R-A. It's kind of like, would you call it like Reddit? But there's like women.
- Speaker #1
Reddit for questions.
- Speaker #0
But it's like women would be like, my boyfriend does and such and such. What should I do? And like, there's all these really good answers. Or I had a specific name and it was like, this means this. And it was correct. Quora was correct.
- Speaker #1
Whoa. Okay. We'll link for it in the comments.
- Speaker #0
I'll link for it every day. Okay.
- Speaker #1
Oh, thank you so much for listening. It's so good to be back with you. I hope you all had a good summer hiatus. Hope you've enjoyed the episode. You can follow us on Instagram at Soph underscore Lions or at Klazikabana. We are here ready and waiting for any gossipy bits you want to talk about. I welcome... any Katy Perry rants. She's in my Anne Hathaway bin, I think.
- Speaker #0
Or even a political one.
- Speaker #1
Or political.
- Speaker #0
Or just like a news topic. Like I want to talk about that Ocean Gate stuff, but we didn't really have time. But the Inquirer is going on, so maybe next week.
- Speaker #1
Yes.
- Speaker #0
Thanks so much for listening. Welcome back, girls. And catch you next week.
- Speaker #1
Woo! Ta-ra.
