Description
Special bonus feature dissecting Meghan Markle's new show...or sorry Meghan Sussex's new show. Clara and Sophie watched episode two featuring Mindy Kaling. The aim of the game here is a children's garden party. From homemade preserves, to rainbow fruit platters and treat-free party bags, it’s one hell of a watch.
Follow these gossip girls on insta: @soph_lyons & @clazzykabana
Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Hello and welcome to another feature episode. We're calling it the Maisonette of Gossip. This is something that we pick up hot, quick, like a potato. No pun intended because we're Irish and something we want to talk about randomly. It's not in the plan. We've seen it and we feel like we need to give you our two cents on it. It's a little mini feature like we've done Kendrick Lamar. Who else have we done?
White Lotus. White Lotus.
That is none other than Meghan Markle's new Netflix series, As Ever. With love. By Meghan Markle. Sorry, with love.
There's a lot of Meghan businesses going on right now.
Sorry, it's called with love.
It's called Who Cares? With Meghan.
Can I just check up top? When she corrects Mindy Kaling in episode two for saying...
In the most passive-aggressive way possible.
Well, you know I'm a Sussex now.
It's so funny slash it's so fucking annoying. Will you please stop?
But does she mean her name is Megan Sussex?
Yes, she explains that. So I think what happens with the royals is when you get made like the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Wales, that becomes your second name. So because she's the Duchess of Sussex, her second name turns into Sussex. I thought it was Windsor.
Wait, so but what's her Instagram name?
Just Megan. And then underneath it says Duchess of Sussex. And if you look in the credits, it says Megan comma...
Duchess of Sussex right I mean when she says that and she goes I share my name with my children yeah and I didn't know how important that would be to be sharing it but it's like our little anyway Clara and I both watched episode two and as Clara just said before we started recording we probably won't be watching anymore the episode has Mindy Kaling in it who looks stunning PS great double denim
she looks amazing yeah she looks unbelievable so funny and like all her jokes were like she's working hard to get a lol out of Megan like really going over time
I just found the whole thing very self-indulgent like it was very echoing the Kardashians when they're like Kim you are unbelievable you are amazing like I just felt like yes that's what was going on the whole time good point and actually yeah yeah That's all she does back.
Exactly. It just felt a little bit like, let me invite you over and then you just give me endless compliments.
Yeah, like there wasn't a back and forth.
No, and it was, you could really tell where the planted questions were. So she, Mindy Kaling had obviously been like, call her Meghan Markle at some point. Then she'll respond with the, no, you know, I'm not Meghan Markle anymore. It felt very staged or like people were given questions. I thought the whole episode and vibe of the show was giving me this like weird, what does this remind me of? Like, I feel like I've been here before. And I think the energy this gives off, this intenseness, this earnestness, this is, this like overly perfect, eat your toasted crostini over the sink so we don't get any crumbs on the ground. Her going crazy when she drops a blueberry is very, very Monica Geller. Very intense. There's no fun. There was no humor.
No, it's a fun-free zone.
Joyless. Oh, I'm just like, here's something I harvested this morning in my extremely large and bee-filled garden. And like, let me show you how to cut a strawberry or put a manuka stick in a party bag. There's no... With those cooking shows, like Nigella Lawson takes the piss with her micro-waves and her... She... The way she like overdoes the sultry and she's like, all the men love her and like the women are obsessed and she's got her low cut tops and she's, she does it in a very like velvety M&S. Hello and welcome to my kachan, it's me and my microave. And she leans into it and she takes the piss. Then you have like Martha Stewart. So New York Times dubbed Megan when this all got announced as the millennial Martha Stewart of Montecito. But then when you, I went back. and watch some on YouTube. There's a few like Martha Stewart videos from her show. And like, fair enough, she's doing it in front of a live audience because Megan is a perfectionist and Martha Stewart is known as this perfectionist. But there's like no sense of fun and where you get that fun is with the guests. So like there's really, this got like 8 million views on YouTube where Martha Stewart invites Robin Williams in and he's there cooking and he's making. So many jokes. He's like what probably is Mrs. Dad for when he's doing all the accents and so many innuendos. And she's there like trying and she plays into it. And she she's like. lets herself go in that humour. Whereas Megan, it's like everything is controlled.
It's very cryogenic and frozen. Like her arms don't bend all the way. And I did see what someone said about this unreality show that is a dystopian nightmare for feminists. Which is so true. But just the main thing for me was the robotic, frozen. you know when you meet someone and you're like they're a robot yeah like you know when they're in a room and they're you're like they have no personality they're not bringing anything and then you're like what a weird life that must be yeah this is like that but like it's so uncomfortable especially when visually and everything it's stunning like it's beautiful the colors are amazing the food is delicious the setting the garden like is that her own vine no it's not it's a set but like all of that it has the like it has what everything you want to look at make it look stunning and it is so like it's like a tin man yeah and nothing is natural it's like and my friend mindy kaling is coming over and i have nothing to feed mindy yeah i'm gonna whip up a fresh frittata oh and while that's cooking let's make a little parfait like it's like something from the 50s trying to make it and it's just like if she just took a half a zanac yeah and just or just like do you know what I mean just some like mushy chocolate anything just to take the level of robot dough yeah you're so right because visually it's like a Nora Ephron movie with a Nancy Meyers direction yeah it's like the holiday or it's complicated yes like all that all the visual stuff the cooking and the laughing all that kind of stuff you feel it and like all the graphics and the fonts and stuff is delicious and then you've got this big tin man who just needs so much oil yeah and then just like the fawning like mindy saying receiving one of your preserves was the most glamorous moment of my life and it's like do we need to fawn over people like do we need that like people are already getting irritated by her like i just they need like a few drinks and then they're pretending to drink in and you're like you're not drinking filling it with so much peach nectar or whatever it was was like
If someone put all that juice in my drink, I'd be so annoyed.
Something I blended yesterday. No. The giggling. It's the incessant giggling. Sorry, but the main thing for me about the robot thing was all I want is for her to pull her hair back, like slick it back. This is Megan I'm talking about. Slick her hair back. Take all the dinky doodly things off and stop curating your outfit with the curled up coat. And the light wave. The tinkery. basket and the draping of the sweater the sweater around the shoulders is so A it's impractical and it looks stupid and then she's going to oh let me get something out of the fridge here's what I did yet just take the fucking sweater do you know what I mean she's in all cream and then she's blending a frittata it's so unrealistic it's like for a kids party sorry the theme if you haven't watched it is a garden tea party for a children I would scream if I was a parent and someone was like let's let's make ladybug crostinis. You'd be like,
what? Just give me a sausage roll. Just give me fucking sausage.
Yeah, you'd be like, this is for kids. Like, oh my God, unrelatable.
It was very, I thought, parent shamey. It was like life is in the moments because when you bring love to a moment, that just shows everyone you care. And it's like, well, what if I've got two jobs and I'm broken up with my partner and, you know, I don't have time to... balsamic glaze, you know, this onto my tomato, dots onto my tomato to make it look like a ladybird, like tone deaf.
And it was just all so like tiny little things doing them. That's not what a kid's party is. Where does anyone want that to be a kid's party like? And then it got to my favourite thing,
party bags. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Anyone who knows me knows from my mother's theatrical energy, I love party bags. She made the most unbelievable party bags for my childhood parties and I love doing them. I've done them for several hens and they're very exciting. For a kid, she puts sugar snap peas and basil seeds. Yep. A compostable pot and a manuka honey stick. And that's what the kid is going out with. And she's like, I think, you know, parents would be appreciative that they have something to play with on the way home in the car before they pass out. The child isn't going to play with seeds.
No, they're going to be. If I was a child at that party, I would have a full blown tantrum. Where's my dibdob?
Where's the candy?
Where's my Freddo?
Or a fun bracelet? Yes. Or stickers?
Colouring book?
Anything.
It was really, really quite. Tone deaf. And it felt like, sorry, you're not planting with your children. You're the type of parent that would give your kids sugar.
I took these from my garden, which I have acres of. Yeah,
with endless bees.
With endless bees and sugar snapping. You know what? If you just took a dine a peg and you were like, oh, let's make the ladybug crostini. But then you were like, oh, these chocolates are unreal. Like, let's put those on the table. It'd be a mix and match. Because at some point, Mindy was like, let's discuss your Luke. Yeah. And she says Luke. And then Megan's like. My Luke? What's my Luke? And she's like, your Luke? And then she figures out that it's her outfit. Well, she says, I go high-low. Why can't you go high-low on the party? Yes. Why can't you do the mojito honey stick with some nice chocolate? I don't understand.
Why does it all have to be like organic vegetables?
It's like she's wanting to set everyone off.
Yeah. She's the kind of mum that we've all met that you're like, oh my God, who's this Defford wife? that makes you feel like this giant, like, slob or an oaf in her presence. Do you know, it's kind of like, I just effortlessly threw this together. But then it's like, it's just so simple. It's like, not everyone has that time.
And she's like, oh, it's budget friendly. And you're like, what? On what planet is Manuka Honeystick budget friendly?
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's just not for everyone. And I appreciate it shouldn't be.
I don't think it's for anyone.
But like, it's difficult with her because like, No matter what she does, everyone will scrutinize her. And while, yes, we're allowed not to enjoy the show. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be on the Piers Morgan, Jeremy Clarkson side of hating her.
No, no, I agree.
No, and we're not. But because it's a set, because she wants it to be this like a 2015 kind of Instagram aspirational aesthetic, it completely misses the mark. And you have things like an apocalyptic world, like literally. LA, California was on fire a few months ago. And you're talking about crudités and balloon arches and flower sprinkles. And it just feels very like tone deaf. And like, I think the Kardashians do it well in a sense being like, they give you a peek into their like billionaire lifestyle. They don't hide away from it. She's trying to do too many things at once. She's trying to be relatable. It's also like a set. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's done a Netflix show. She has a ridiculous lifestyle brand. But... she laughs at herself, which Meghan doesn't do. And I think she has the wherewithal to go, you know what? Trump's just become president. The world is literally on fire. The environment's burning. And while this is escapism TV, it's also like not relatable because everybody's, it's how much is it for a box of eggs in America? Like $35. People don't have the time or the mental energy for what she's talking about. I think it's just a missed time show. Your message is less important than... What's going on?
I think it's a missed time, though, by like...
Ten years. It's like she's doing what the Tig wanted to do in 2015, but she's just going ahead with it anyway. She's like, she's living out that fantasy.
She also had these really annoying things that, like, I wrote down that just, like, she was like, the gang, the little ones. Yeah. Husbands.
Do you notice that now?
Just be like the kids. Yeah. It's just all so contrived.
and like even to host a kids party episode with no kids in it and fair enough you don't want your kids on TV and Mindy Kaling is like pretty private about her kids but to even have like I don't know neighbour kids a few robot children yeah little botty scary children I don't know it's very do you remember we were talking about a few weeks ago about her and the show was coming out or whatever and she had that vision board there's a lot of like quotes that she throws in where it's like she I think she's moved to tears by birdsong at one point it's wanderlust it's so unselfaware but then really earnest at the same time which is such an unusual like she's putting flowers and ice but then she's also like not really acknowledging that you know not everyone has like six hours to prepare for a guest and to rebag pretzels and use calligraphy I suppose the show just isn't for me it's not bingeable but it doesn't make me dislike her interesting
like I don't dislike her I'm just like would you just cut the crap
I know because I'm sure she is grand do you know do it or don't do it at all though like have something real and tell us what it's like to be a royal or just don't do it because this kind of in between thing it's so disingenuous it's really inauthentic like come on show us like out with the girls having a bit of fun there's no laughing it's all very like ha ha romance yeah I just feel like
there is like a block between who she actually is yeah and who's being portrayed yeah and like it's just too visible like i think like pop stars 20 years ago we all thought they were a certain way and now they come out now and all their autobiographies or whatever and they're like oh that was utter hell like i hated this i was drunk half the time whatever it was But that's what it was like kind of before the Internet kicked off, where it's like people want authenticity now.
Way more than ever.
I just feel like if it's someone guiding her or maybe it's nerves, I don't know. I just it's so unrelatable. But still, you know, you can have something that you want to reach for, but it's just so robotic.
Yeah, like Gwyneth Paltrow is extremely unrelatable, but because she's got a bit of charm and self-deprecating.
And she'll still be like, yeah, I'll have a drink. Yeah, I agree.
Yeah. And even though we know that if. Gwyneth Paltrow ate like a McDonald's, she'd probably end up in a coma. But like she leans into that and she takes the piss. Whereas you're right, there is this like complete block with Meghan. And I appreciate like if you're under scrutiny for that long and all the media shit she's had to go through, you would lose your identity and all that because you're just, who are you now? And like everything, you breathe and the whole world hates you. But if she leaned into, if she could just pull the walls down a bit more. and let us into the real Megan of what it's like, then I think she'd get so much buy-in.
Or just use her as a host.
Yeah, or get funner guests as well. Guests that we know. But you wonder why Mindy Kaye... When I was scanning through the episodes, I was like, oh, Mindy, I know her, I love her. But even when Mindy's feeding her all these lines, being like, oh my God, you're like Tinkerbell. And she's like, ah, another compliment. Back to my fruit rainbow of whatever. It's just very out of touch. It's too curated. Also, what a terrible rollout, right? I appreciate the With Love and As Ever are separate brands.
Sorry, could you explain this to me? With Love is the TV show and As Ever is the old American Riviera Orchard.
100%. I don't understand why those two aren't connecting. Surely you should have called the show As Ever and then because you can buy all those products on. the website but they don't and it's also I was trying to find like the recipes or like how to make the bath salts and all that stuff you wanted to make the part I wanted to get crafting okay and there's it's very it's very unclear I thought it was like a shop along it's not I remember you saying it was going to be a shop shoppable show even when you go on to her as ever website all the stuff is there but you can't buy it yet where's the rollout the website's not ready they also just hired a new
like chief communications officer and this only happened like five days ago but didn't the show just come on air like a week ago just get your ducks in a row it's like there's no plan it's very convoluted there's a block making up as they go along I think what would you rate it out of we won't do rotten tomatoes we'll do manuka honey sticks what would you rate it out of manuka honey sticks out of five one and a half I think I agree with you It's just so awkward to watch.
It's so awkward. The Guardian described it as toe curling, unlovable TV and also said it was exhausting. I think it just it just reminded me of those women from those those Instagram days being like, everything is so perfect. But, you know, it's all a veneer.
You know, like only their eyes move.
Yeah. So I just I just wish for Megan she would let go a bit more and let us in. Or maybe that's just all this to her. And that's like, OK, you know, you just love to see her a bit more like. As you say, scrape the hair back. She does acknowledge that it's not her house, but she's like 80 people. I'm like, do you really need 80 people to film a TV show? It's like the podcast costs like 30 million pounds and you hired 27 people and you only made 12 episodes. What? The inflation of value here has gone a bit much. You just need a couple of cameramen. In your kitchen.
Now, I did like when the cameramen were eating the blueberries.
That's what I mean. Those moments were really lovely.
That's what I want to see. Come on. But again, just a caveat, this isn't hating on Megan. Because I actually think it's a lot of different people getting involved. And they actually all just haven't had a conversation. No.
And we just want her to let go. Have fun. Just let your hair down, Megs. Well, that wraps up another amazing item class. We hope you've enjoyed. Be sure to follow us along and subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode because you never know when we're going to drop them. You can follow us on Instagram at self underscore lines or at classy cabana. And yeah, we'll talk to you on Tuesday for our regular, regularly scheduled programming. Mate, I wish they gave us a fucking Netflix show. That's what I'm really upset about.
I have loads of stuff that I think we'd be really good at.
Imagine the two of us in a kitchen. That would be so funny. It would just be a bar, I suppose.
Description
Special bonus feature dissecting Meghan Markle's new show...or sorry Meghan Sussex's new show. Clara and Sophie watched episode two featuring Mindy Kaling. The aim of the game here is a children's garden party. From homemade preserves, to rainbow fruit platters and treat-free party bags, it’s one hell of a watch.
Follow these gossip girls on insta: @soph_lyons & @clazzykabana
Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Hello and welcome to another feature episode. We're calling it the Maisonette of Gossip. This is something that we pick up hot, quick, like a potato. No pun intended because we're Irish and something we want to talk about randomly. It's not in the plan. We've seen it and we feel like we need to give you our two cents on it. It's a little mini feature like we've done Kendrick Lamar. Who else have we done?
White Lotus. White Lotus.
That is none other than Meghan Markle's new Netflix series, As Ever. With love. By Meghan Markle. Sorry, with love.
There's a lot of Meghan businesses going on right now.
Sorry, it's called with love.
It's called Who Cares? With Meghan.
Can I just check up top? When she corrects Mindy Kaling in episode two for saying...
In the most passive-aggressive way possible.
Well, you know I'm a Sussex now.
It's so funny slash it's so fucking annoying. Will you please stop?
But does she mean her name is Megan Sussex?
Yes, she explains that. So I think what happens with the royals is when you get made like the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Wales, that becomes your second name. So because she's the Duchess of Sussex, her second name turns into Sussex. I thought it was Windsor.
Wait, so but what's her Instagram name?
Just Megan. And then underneath it says Duchess of Sussex. And if you look in the credits, it says Megan comma...
Duchess of Sussex right I mean when she says that and she goes I share my name with my children yeah and I didn't know how important that would be to be sharing it but it's like our little anyway Clara and I both watched episode two and as Clara just said before we started recording we probably won't be watching anymore the episode has Mindy Kaling in it who looks stunning PS great double denim
she looks amazing yeah she looks unbelievable so funny and like all her jokes were like she's working hard to get a lol out of Megan like really going over time
I just found the whole thing very self-indulgent like it was very echoing the Kardashians when they're like Kim you are unbelievable you are amazing like I just felt like yes that's what was going on the whole time good point and actually yeah yeah That's all she does back.
Exactly. It just felt a little bit like, let me invite you over and then you just give me endless compliments.
Yeah, like there wasn't a back and forth.
No, and it was, you could really tell where the planted questions were. So she, Mindy Kaling had obviously been like, call her Meghan Markle at some point. Then she'll respond with the, no, you know, I'm not Meghan Markle anymore. It felt very staged or like people were given questions. I thought the whole episode and vibe of the show was giving me this like weird, what does this remind me of? Like, I feel like I've been here before. And I think the energy this gives off, this intenseness, this earnestness, this is, this like overly perfect, eat your toasted crostini over the sink so we don't get any crumbs on the ground. Her going crazy when she drops a blueberry is very, very Monica Geller. Very intense. There's no fun. There was no humor.
No, it's a fun-free zone.
Joyless. Oh, I'm just like, here's something I harvested this morning in my extremely large and bee-filled garden. And like, let me show you how to cut a strawberry or put a manuka stick in a party bag. There's no... With those cooking shows, like Nigella Lawson takes the piss with her micro-waves and her... She... The way she like overdoes the sultry and she's like, all the men love her and like the women are obsessed and she's got her low cut tops and she's, she does it in a very like velvety M&S. Hello and welcome to my kachan, it's me and my microave. And she leans into it and she takes the piss. Then you have like Martha Stewart. So New York Times dubbed Megan when this all got announced as the millennial Martha Stewart of Montecito. But then when you, I went back. and watch some on YouTube. There's a few like Martha Stewart videos from her show. And like, fair enough, she's doing it in front of a live audience because Megan is a perfectionist and Martha Stewart is known as this perfectionist. But there's like no sense of fun and where you get that fun is with the guests. So like there's really, this got like 8 million views on YouTube where Martha Stewart invites Robin Williams in and he's there cooking and he's making. So many jokes. He's like what probably is Mrs. Dad for when he's doing all the accents and so many innuendos. And she's there like trying and she plays into it. And she she's like. lets herself go in that humour. Whereas Megan, it's like everything is controlled.
It's very cryogenic and frozen. Like her arms don't bend all the way. And I did see what someone said about this unreality show that is a dystopian nightmare for feminists. Which is so true. But just the main thing for me was the robotic, frozen. you know when you meet someone and you're like they're a robot yeah like you know when they're in a room and they're you're like they have no personality they're not bringing anything and then you're like what a weird life that must be yeah this is like that but like it's so uncomfortable especially when visually and everything it's stunning like it's beautiful the colors are amazing the food is delicious the setting the garden like is that her own vine no it's not it's a set but like all of that it has the like it has what everything you want to look at make it look stunning and it is so like it's like a tin man yeah and nothing is natural it's like and my friend mindy kaling is coming over and i have nothing to feed mindy yeah i'm gonna whip up a fresh frittata oh and while that's cooking let's make a little parfait like it's like something from the 50s trying to make it and it's just like if she just took a half a zanac yeah and just or just like do you know what I mean just some like mushy chocolate anything just to take the level of robot dough yeah you're so right because visually it's like a Nora Ephron movie with a Nancy Meyers direction yeah it's like the holiday or it's complicated yes like all that all the visual stuff the cooking and the laughing all that kind of stuff you feel it and like all the graphics and the fonts and stuff is delicious and then you've got this big tin man who just needs so much oil yeah and then just like the fawning like mindy saying receiving one of your preserves was the most glamorous moment of my life and it's like do we need to fawn over people like do we need that like people are already getting irritated by her like i just they need like a few drinks and then they're pretending to drink in and you're like you're not drinking filling it with so much peach nectar or whatever it was was like
If someone put all that juice in my drink, I'd be so annoyed.
Something I blended yesterday. No. The giggling. It's the incessant giggling. Sorry, but the main thing for me about the robot thing was all I want is for her to pull her hair back, like slick it back. This is Megan I'm talking about. Slick her hair back. Take all the dinky doodly things off and stop curating your outfit with the curled up coat. And the light wave. The tinkery. basket and the draping of the sweater the sweater around the shoulders is so A it's impractical and it looks stupid and then she's going to oh let me get something out of the fridge here's what I did yet just take the fucking sweater do you know what I mean she's in all cream and then she's blending a frittata it's so unrealistic it's like for a kids party sorry the theme if you haven't watched it is a garden tea party for a children I would scream if I was a parent and someone was like let's let's make ladybug crostinis. You'd be like,
what? Just give me a sausage roll. Just give me fucking sausage.
Yeah, you'd be like, this is for kids. Like, oh my God, unrelatable.
It was very, I thought, parent shamey. It was like life is in the moments because when you bring love to a moment, that just shows everyone you care. And it's like, well, what if I've got two jobs and I'm broken up with my partner and, you know, I don't have time to... balsamic glaze, you know, this onto my tomato, dots onto my tomato to make it look like a ladybird, like tone deaf.
And it was just all so like tiny little things doing them. That's not what a kid's party is. Where does anyone want that to be a kid's party like? And then it got to my favourite thing,
party bags. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Anyone who knows me knows from my mother's theatrical energy, I love party bags. She made the most unbelievable party bags for my childhood parties and I love doing them. I've done them for several hens and they're very exciting. For a kid, she puts sugar snap peas and basil seeds. Yep. A compostable pot and a manuka honey stick. And that's what the kid is going out with. And she's like, I think, you know, parents would be appreciative that they have something to play with on the way home in the car before they pass out. The child isn't going to play with seeds.
No, they're going to be. If I was a child at that party, I would have a full blown tantrum. Where's my dibdob?
Where's the candy?
Where's my Freddo?
Or a fun bracelet? Yes. Or stickers?
Colouring book?
Anything.
It was really, really quite. Tone deaf. And it felt like, sorry, you're not planting with your children. You're the type of parent that would give your kids sugar.
I took these from my garden, which I have acres of. Yeah,
with endless bees.
With endless bees and sugar snapping. You know what? If you just took a dine a peg and you were like, oh, let's make the ladybug crostini. But then you were like, oh, these chocolates are unreal. Like, let's put those on the table. It'd be a mix and match. Because at some point, Mindy was like, let's discuss your Luke. Yeah. And she says Luke. And then Megan's like. My Luke? What's my Luke? And she's like, your Luke? And then she figures out that it's her outfit. Well, she says, I go high-low. Why can't you go high-low on the party? Yes. Why can't you do the mojito honey stick with some nice chocolate? I don't understand.
Why does it all have to be like organic vegetables?
It's like she's wanting to set everyone off.
Yeah. She's the kind of mum that we've all met that you're like, oh my God, who's this Defford wife? that makes you feel like this giant, like, slob or an oaf in her presence. Do you know, it's kind of like, I just effortlessly threw this together. But then it's like, it's just so simple. It's like, not everyone has that time.
And she's like, oh, it's budget friendly. And you're like, what? On what planet is Manuka Honeystick budget friendly?
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's just not for everyone. And I appreciate it shouldn't be.
I don't think it's for anyone.
But like, it's difficult with her because like, No matter what she does, everyone will scrutinize her. And while, yes, we're allowed not to enjoy the show. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be on the Piers Morgan, Jeremy Clarkson side of hating her.
No, no, I agree.
No, and we're not. But because it's a set, because she wants it to be this like a 2015 kind of Instagram aspirational aesthetic, it completely misses the mark. And you have things like an apocalyptic world, like literally. LA, California was on fire a few months ago. And you're talking about crudités and balloon arches and flower sprinkles. And it just feels very like tone deaf. And like, I think the Kardashians do it well in a sense being like, they give you a peek into their like billionaire lifestyle. They don't hide away from it. She's trying to do too many things at once. She's trying to be relatable. It's also like a set. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's done a Netflix show. She has a ridiculous lifestyle brand. But... she laughs at herself, which Meghan doesn't do. And I think she has the wherewithal to go, you know what? Trump's just become president. The world is literally on fire. The environment's burning. And while this is escapism TV, it's also like not relatable because everybody's, it's how much is it for a box of eggs in America? Like $35. People don't have the time or the mental energy for what she's talking about. I think it's just a missed time show. Your message is less important than... What's going on?
I think it's a missed time, though, by like...
Ten years. It's like she's doing what the Tig wanted to do in 2015, but she's just going ahead with it anyway. She's like, she's living out that fantasy.
She also had these really annoying things that, like, I wrote down that just, like, she was like, the gang, the little ones. Yeah. Husbands.
Do you notice that now?
Just be like the kids. Yeah. It's just all so contrived.
and like even to host a kids party episode with no kids in it and fair enough you don't want your kids on TV and Mindy Kaling is like pretty private about her kids but to even have like I don't know neighbour kids a few robot children yeah little botty scary children I don't know it's very do you remember we were talking about a few weeks ago about her and the show was coming out or whatever and she had that vision board there's a lot of like quotes that she throws in where it's like she I think she's moved to tears by birdsong at one point it's wanderlust it's so unselfaware but then really earnest at the same time which is such an unusual like she's putting flowers and ice but then she's also like not really acknowledging that you know not everyone has like six hours to prepare for a guest and to rebag pretzels and use calligraphy I suppose the show just isn't for me it's not bingeable but it doesn't make me dislike her interesting
like I don't dislike her I'm just like would you just cut the crap
I know because I'm sure she is grand do you know do it or don't do it at all though like have something real and tell us what it's like to be a royal or just don't do it because this kind of in between thing it's so disingenuous it's really inauthentic like come on show us like out with the girls having a bit of fun there's no laughing it's all very like ha ha romance yeah I just feel like
there is like a block between who she actually is yeah and who's being portrayed yeah and like it's just too visible like i think like pop stars 20 years ago we all thought they were a certain way and now they come out now and all their autobiographies or whatever and they're like oh that was utter hell like i hated this i was drunk half the time whatever it was But that's what it was like kind of before the Internet kicked off, where it's like people want authenticity now.
Way more than ever.
I just feel like if it's someone guiding her or maybe it's nerves, I don't know. I just it's so unrelatable. But still, you know, you can have something that you want to reach for, but it's just so robotic.
Yeah, like Gwyneth Paltrow is extremely unrelatable, but because she's got a bit of charm and self-deprecating.
And she'll still be like, yeah, I'll have a drink. Yeah, I agree.
Yeah. And even though we know that if. Gwyneth Paltrow ate like a McDonald's, she'd probably end up in a coma. But like she leans into that and she takes the piss. Whereas you're right, there is this like complete block with Meghan. And I appreciate like if you're under scrutiny for that long and all the media shit she's had to go through, you would lose your identity and all that because you're just, who are you now? And like everything, you breathe and the whole world hates you. But if she leaned into, if she could just pull the walls down a bit more. and let us into the real Megan of what it's like, then I think she'd get so much buy-in.
Or just use her as a host.
Yeah, or get funner guests as well. Guests that we know. But you wonder why Mindy Kaye... When I was scanning through the episodes, I was like, oh, Mindy, I know her, I love her. But even when Mindy's feeding her all these lines, being like, oh my God, you're like Tinkerbell. And she's like, ah, another compliment. Back to my fruit rainbow of whatever. It's just very out of touch. It's too curated. Also, what a terrible rollout, right? I appreciate the With Love and As Ever are separate brands.
Sorry, could you explain this to me? With Love is the TV show and As Ever is the old American Riviera Orchard.
100%. I don't understand why those two aren't connecting. Surely you should have called the show As Ever and then because you can buy all those products on. the website but they don't and it's also I was trying to find like the recipes or like how to make the bath salts and all that stuff you wanted to make the part I wanted to get crafting okay and there's it's very it's very unclear I thought it was like a shop along it's not I remember you saying it was going to be a shop shoppable show even when you go on to her as ever website all the stuff is there but you can't buy it yet where's the rollout the website's not ready they also just hired a new
like chief communications officer and this only happened like five days ago but didn't the show just come on air like a week ago just get your ducks in a row it's like there's no plan it's very convoluted there's a block making up as they go along I think what would you rate it out of we won't do rotten tomatoes we'll do manuka honey sticks what would you rate it out of manuka honey sticks out of five one and a half I think I agree with you It's just so awkward to watch.
It's so awkward. The Guardian described it as toe curling, unlovable TV and also said it was exhausting. I think it just it just reminded me of those women from those those Instagram days being like, everything is so perfect. But, you know, it's all a veneer.
You know, like only their eyes move.
Yeah. So I just I just wish for Megan she would let go a bit more and let us in. Or maybe that's just all this to her. And that's like, OK, you know, you just love to see her a bit more like. As you say, scrape the hair back. She does acknowledge that it's not her house, but she's like 80 people. I'm like, do you really need 80 people to film a TV show? It's like the podcast costs like 30 million pounds and you hired 27 people and you only made 12 episodes. What? The inflation of value here has gone a bit much. You just need a couple of cameramen. In your kitchen.
Now, I did like when the cameramen were eating the blueberries.
That's what I mean. Those moments were really lovely.
That's what I want to see. Come on. But again, just a caveat, this isn't hating on Megan. Because I actually think it's a lot of different people getting involved. And they actually all just haven't had a conversation. No.
And we just want her to let go. Have fun. Just let your hair down, Megs. Well, that wraps up another amazing item class. We hope you've enjoyed. Be sure to follow us along and subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode because you never know when we're going to drop them. You can follow us on Instagram at self underscore lines or at classy cabana. And yeah, we'll talk to you on Tuesday for our regular, regularly scheduled programming. Mate, I wish they gave us a fucking Netflix show. That's what I'm really upset about.
I have loads of stuff that I think we'd be really good at.
Imagine the two of us in a kitchen. That would be so funny. It would just be a bar, I suppose.
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Special bonus feature dissecting Meghan Markle's new show...or sorry Meghan Sussex's new show. Clara and Sophie watched episode two featuring Mindy Kaling. The aim of the game here is a children's garden party. From homemade preserves, to rainbow fruit platters and treat-free party bags, it’s one hell of a watch.
Follow these gossip girls on insta: @soph_lyons & @clazzykabana
Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Hello and welcome to another feature episode. We're calling it the Maisonette of Gossip. This is something that we pick up hot, quick, like a potato. No pun intended because we're Irish and something we want to talk about randomly. It's not in the plan. We've seen it and we feel like we need to give you our two cents on it. It's a little mini feature like we've done Kendrick Lamar. Who else have we done?
White Lotus. White Lotus.
That is none other than Meghan Markle's new Netflix series, As Ever. With love. By Meghan Markle. Sorry, with love.
There's a lot of Meghan businesses going on right now.
Sorry, it's called with love.
It's called Who Cares? With Meghan.
Can I just check up top? When she corrects Mindy Kaling in episode two for saying...
In the most passive-aggressive way possible.
Well, you know I'm a Sussex now.
It's so funny slash it's so fucking annoying. Will you please stop?
But does she mean her name is Megan Sussex?
Yes, she explains that. So I think what happens with the royals is when you get made like the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Wales, that becomes your second name. So because she's the Duchess of Sussex, her second name turns into Sussex. I thought it was Windsor.
Wait, so but what's her Instagram name?
Just Megan. And then underneath it says Duchess of Sussex. And if you look in the credits, it says Megan comma...
Duchess of Sussex right I mean when she says that and she goes I share my name with my children yeah and I didn't know how important that would be to be sharing it but it's like our little anyway Clara and I both watched episode two and as Clara just said before we started recording we probably won't be watching anymore the episode has Mindy Kaling in it who looks stunning PS great double denim
she looks amazing yeah she looks unbelievable so funny and like all her jokes were like she's working hard to get a lol out of Megan like really going over time
I just found the whole thing very self-indulgent like it was very echoing the Kardashians when they're like Kim you are unbelievable you are amazing like I just felt like yes that's what was going on the whole time good point and actually yeah yeah That's all she does back.
Exactly. It just felt a little bit like, let me invite you over and then you just give me endless compliments.
Yeah, like there wasn't a back and forth.
No, and it was, you could really tell where the planted questions were. So she, Mindy Kaling had obviously been like, call her Meghan Markle at some point. Then she'll respond with the, no, you know, I'm not Meghan Markle anymore. It felt very staged or like people were given questions. I thought the whole episode and vibe of the show was giving me this like weird, what does this remind me of? Like, I feel like I've been here before. And I think the energy this gives off, this intenseness, this earnestness, this is, this like overly perfect, eat your toasted crostini over the sink so we don't get any crumbs on the ground. Her going crazy when she drops a blueberry is very, very Monica Geller. Very intense. There's no fun. There was no humor.
No, it's a fun-free zone.
Joyless. Oh, I'm just like, here's something I harvested this morning in my extremely large and bee-filled garden. And like, let me show you how to cut a strawberry or put a manuka stick in a party bag. There's no... With those cooking shows, like Nigella Lawson takes the piss with her micro-waves and her... She... The way she like overdoes the sultry and she's like, all the men love her and like the women are obsessed and she's got her low cut tops and she's, she does it in a very like velvety M&S. Hello and welcome to my kachan, it's me and my microave. And she leans into it and she takes the piss. Then you have like Martha Stewart. So New York Times dubbed Megan when this all got announced as the millennial Martha Stewart of Montecito. But then when you, I went back. and watch some on YouTube. There's a few like Martha Stewart videos from her show. And like, fair enough, she's doing it in front of a live audience because Megan is a perfectionist and Martha Stewart is known as this perfectionist. But there's like no sense of fun and where you get that fun is with the guests. So like there's really, this got like 8 million views on YouTube where Martha Stewart invites Robin Williams in and he's there cooking and he's making. So many jokes. He's like what probably is Mrs. Dad for when he's doing all the accents and so many innuendos. And she's there like trying and she plays into it. And she she's like. lets herself go in that humour. Whereas Megan, it's like everything is controlled.
It's very cryogenic and frozen. Like her arms don't bend all the way. And I did see what someone said about this unreality show that is a dystopian nightmare for feminists. Which is so true. But just the main thing for me was the robotic, frozen. you know when you meet someone and you're like they're a robot yeah like you know when they're in a room and they're you're like they have no personality they're not bringing anything and then you're like what a weird life that must be yeah this is like that but like it's so uncomfortable especially when visually and everything it's stunning like it's beautiful the colors are amazing the food is delicious the setting the garden like is that her own vine no it's not it's a set but like all of that it has the like it has what everything you want to look at make it look stunning and it is so like it's like a tin man yeah and nothing is natural it's like and my friend mindy kaling is coming over and i have nothing to feed mindy yeah i'm gonna whip up a fresh frittata oh and while that's cooking let's make a little parfait like it's like something from the 50s trying to make it and it's just like if she just took a half a zanac yeah and just or just like do you know what I mean just some like mushy chocolate anything just to take the level of robot dough yeah you're so right because visually it's like a Nora Ephron movie with a Nancy Meyers direction yeah it's like the holiday or it's complicated yes like all that all the visual stuff the cooking and the laughing all that kind of stuff you feel it and like all the graphics and the fonts and stuff is delicious and then you've got this big tin man who just needs so much oil yeah and then just like the fawning like mindy saying receiving one of your preserves was the most glamorous moment of my life and it's like do we need to fawn over people like do we need that like people are already getting irritated by her like i just they need like a few drinks and then they're pretending to drink in and you're like you're not drinking filling it with so much peach nectar or whatever it was was like
If someone put all that juice in my drink, I'd be so annoyed.
Something I blended yesterday. No. The giggling. It's the incessant giggling. Sorry, but the main thing for me about the robot thing was all I want is for her to pull her hair back, like slick it back. This is Megan I'm talking about. Slick her hair back. Take all the dinky doodly things off and stop curating your outfit with the curled up coat. And the light wave. The tinkery. basket and the draping of the sweater the sweater around the shoulders is so A it's impractical and it looks stupid and then she's going to oh let me get something out of the fridge here's what I did yet just take the fucking sweater do you know what I mean she's in all cream and then she's blending a frittata it's so unrealistic it's like for a kids party sorry the theme if you haven't watched it is a garden tea party for a children I would scream if I was a parent and someone was like let's let's make ladybug crostinis. You'd be like,
what? Just give me a sausage roll. Just give me fucking sausage.
Yeah, you'd be like, this is for kids. Like, oh my God, unrelatable.
It was very, I thought, parent shamey. It was like life is in the moments because when you bring love to a moment, that just shows everyone you care. And it's like, well, what if I've got two jobs and I'm broken up with my partner and, you know, I don't have time to... balsamic glaze, you know, this onto my tomato, dots onto my tomato to make it look like a ladybird, like tone deaf.
And it was just all so like tiny little things doing them. That's not what a kid's party is. Where does anyone want that to be a kid's party like? And then it got to my favourite thing,
party bags. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Anyone who knows me knows from my mother's theatrical energy, I love party bags. She made the most unbelievable party bags for my childhood parties and I love doing them. I've done them for several hens and they're very exciting. For a kid, she puts sugar snap peas and basil seeds. Yep. A compostable pot and a manuka honey stick. And that's what the kid is going out with. And she's like, I think, you know, parents would be appreciative that they have something to play with on the way home in the car before they pass out. The child isn't going to play with seeds.
No, they're going to be. If I was a child at that party, I would have a full blown tantrum. Where's my dibdob?
Where's the candy?
Where's my Freddo?
Or a fun bracelet? Yes. Or stickers?
Colouring book?
Anything.
It was really, really quite. Tone deaf. And it felt like, sorry, you're not planting with your children. You're the type of parent that would give your kids sugar.
I took these from my garden, which I have acres of. Yeah,
with endless bees.
With endless bees and sugar snapping. You know what? If you just took a dine a peg and you were like, oh, let's make the ladybug crostini. But then you were like, oh, these chocolates are unreal. Like, let's put those on the table. It'd be a mix and match. Because at some point, Mindy was like, let's discuss your Luke. Yeah. And she says Luke. And then Megan's like. My Luke? What's my Luke? And she's like, your Luke? And then she figures out that it's her outfit. Well, she says, I go high-low. Why can't you go high-low on the party? Yes. Why can't you do the mojito honey stick with some nice chocolate? I don't understand.
Why does it all have to be like organic vegetables?
It's like she's wanting to set everyone off.
Yeah. She's the kind of mum that we've all met that you're like, oh my God, who's this Defford wife? that makes you feel like this giant, like, slob or an oaf in her presence. Do you know, it's kind of like, I just effortlessly threw this together. But then it's like, it's just so simple. It's like, not everyone has that time.
And she's like, oh, it's budget friendly. And you're like, what? On what planet is Manuka Honeystick budget friendly?
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's just not for everyone. And I appreciate it shouldn't be.
I don't think it's for anyone.
But like, it's difficult with her because like, No matter what she does, everyone will scrutinize her. And while, yes, we're allowed not to enjoy the show. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be on the Piers Morgan, Jeremy Clarkson side of hating her.
No, no, I agree.
No, and we're not. But because it's a set, because she wants it to be this like a 2015 kind of Instagram aspirational aesthetic, it completely misses the mark. And you have things like an apocalyptic world, like literally. LA, California was on fire a few months ago. And you're talking about crudités and balloon arches and flower sprinkles. And it just feels very like tone deaf. And like, I think the Kardashians do it well in a sense being like, they give you a peek into their like billionaire lifestyle. They don't hide away from it. She's trying to do too many things at once. She's trying to be relatable. It's also like a set. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's done a Netflix show. She has a ridiculous lifestyle brand. But... she laughs at herself, which Meghan doesn't do. And I think she has the wherewithal to go, you know what? Trump's just become president. The world is literally on fire. The environment's burning. And while this is escapism TV, it's also like not relatable because everybody's, it's how much is it for a box of eggs in America? Like $35. People don't have the time or the mental energy for what she's talking about. I think it's just a missed time show. Your message is less important than... What's going on?
I think it's a missed time, though, by like...
Ten years. It's like she's doing what the Tig wanted to do in 2015, but she's just going ahead with it anyway. She's like, she's living out that fantasy.
She also had these really annoying things that, like, I wrote down that just, like, she was like, the gang, the little ones. Yeah. Husbands.
Do you notice that now?
Just be like the kids. Yeah. It's just all so contrived.
and like even to host a kids party episode with no kids in it and fair enough you don't want your kids on TV and Mindy Kaling is like pretty private about her kids but to even have like I don't know neighbour kids a few robot children yeah little botty scary children I don't know it's very do you remember we were talking about a few weeks ago about her and the show was coming out or whatever and she had that vision board there's a lot of like quotes that she throws in where it's like she I think she's moved to tears by birdsong at one point it's wanderlust it's so unselfaware but then really earnest at the same time which is such an unusual like she's putting flowers and ice but then she's also like not really acknowledging that you know not everyone has like six hours to prepare for a guest and to rebag pretzels and use calligraphy I suppose the show just isn't for me it's not bingeable but it doesn't make me dislike her interesting
like I don't dislike her I'm just like would you just cut the crap
I know because I'm sure she is grand do you know do it or don't do it at all though like have something real and tell us what it's like to be a royal or just don't do it because this kind of in between thing it's so disingenuous it's really inauthentic like come on show us like out with the girls having a bit of fun there's no laughing it's all very like ha ha romance yeah I just feel like
there is like a block between who she actually is yeah and who's being portrayed yeah and like it's just too visible like i think like pop stars 20 years ago we all thought they were a certain way and now they come out now and all their autobiographies or whatever and they're like oh that was utter hell like i hated this i was drunk half the time whatever it was But that's what it was like kind of before the Internet kicked off, where it's like people want authenticity now.
Way more than ever.
I just feel like if it's someone guiding her or maybe it's nerves, I don't know. I just it's so unrelatable. But still, you know, you can have something that you want to reach for, but it's just so robotic.
Yeah, like Gwyneth Paltrow is extremely unrelatable, but because she's got a bit of charm and self-deprecating.
And she'll still be like, yeah, I'll have a drink. Yeah, I agree.
Yeah. And even though we know that if. Gwyneth Paltrow ate like a McDonald's, she'd probably end up in a coma. But like she leans into that and she takes the piss. Whereas you're right, there is this like complete block with Meghan. And I appreciate like if you're under scrutiny for that long and all the media shit she's had to go through, you would lose your identity and all that because you're just, who are you now? And like everything, you breathe and the whole world hates you. But if she leaned into, if she could just pull the walls down a bit more. and let us into the real Megan of what it's like, then I think she'd get so much buy-in.
Or just use her as a host.
Yeah, or get funner guests as well. Guests that we know. But you wonder why Mindy Kaye... When I was scanning through the episodes, I was like, oh, Mindy, I know her, I love her. But even when Mindy's feeding her all these lines, being like, oh my God, you're like Tinkerbell. And she's like, ah, another compliment. Back to my fruit rainbow of whatever. It's just very out of touch. It's too curated. Also, what a terrible rollout, right? I appreciate the With Love and As Ever are separate brands.
Sorry, could you explain this to me? With Love is the TV show and As Ever is the old American Riviera Orchard.
100%. I don't understand why those two aren't connecting. Surely you should have called the show As Ever and then because you can buy all those products on. the website but they don't and it's also I was trying to find like the recipes or like how to make the bath salts and all that stuff you wanted to make the part I wanted to get crafting okay and there's it's very it's very unclear I thought it was like a shop along it's not I remember you saying it was going to be a shop shoppable show even when you go on to her as ever website all the stuff is there but you can't buy it yet where's the rollout the website's not ready they also just hired a new
like chief communications officer and this only happened like five days ago but didn't the show just come on air like a week ago just get your ducks in a row it's like there's no plan it's very convoluted there's a block making up as they go along I think what would you rate it out of we won't do rotten tomatoes we'll do manuka honey sticks what would you rate it out of manuka honey sticks out of five one and a half I think I agree with you It's just so awkward to watch.
It's so awkward. The Guardian described it as toe curling, unlovable TV and also said it was exhausting. I think it just it just reminded me of those women from those those Instagram days being like, everything is so perfect. But, you know, it's all a veneer.
You know, like only their eyes move.
Yeah. So I just I just wish for Megan she would let go a bit more and let us in. Or maybe that's just all this to her. And that's like, OK, you know, you just love to see her a bit more like. As you say, scrape the hair back. She does acknowledge that it's not her house, but she's like 80 people. I'm like, do you really need 80 people to film a TV show? It's like the podcast costs like 30 million pounds and you hired 27 people and you only made 12 episodes. What? The inflation of value here has gone a bit much. You just need a couple of cameramen. In your kitchen.
Now, I did like when the cameramen were eating the blueberries.
That's what I mean. Those moments were really lovely.
That's what I want to see. Come on. But again, just a caveat, this isn't hating on Megan. Because I actually think it's a lot of different people getting involved. And they actually all just haven't had a conversation. No.
And we just want her to let go. Have fun. Just let your hair down, Megs. Well, that wraps up another amazing item class. We hope you've enjoyed. Be sure to follow us along and subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode because you never know when we're going to drop them. You can follow us on Instagram at self underscore lines or at classy cabana. And yeah, we'll talk to you on Tuesday for our regular, regularly scheduled programming. Mate, I wish they gave us a fucking Netflix show. That's what I'm really upset about.
I have loads of stuff that I think we'd be really good at.
Imagine the two of us in a kitchen. That would be so funny. It would just be a bar, I suppose.
Description
Special bonus feature dissecting Meghan Markle's new show...or sorry Meghan Sussex's new show. Clara and Sophie watched episode two featuring Mindy Kaling. The aim of the game here is a children's garden party. From homemade preserves, to rainbow fruit platters and treat-free party bags, it’s one hell of a watch.
Follow these gossip girls on insta: @soph_lyons & @clazzykabana
Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Transcription
Hello and welcome to another feature episode. We're calling it the Maisonette of Gossip. This is something that we pick up hot, quick, like a potato. No pun intended because we're Irish and something we want to talk about randomly. It's not in the plan. We've seen it and we feel like we need to give you our two cents on it. It's a little mini feature like we've done Kendrick Lamar. Who else have we done?
White Lotus. White Lotus.
That is none other than Meghan Markle's new Netflix series, As Ever. With love. By Meghan Markle. Sorry, with love.
There's a lot of Meghan businesses going on right now.
Sorry, it's called with love.
It's called Who Cares? With Meghan.
Can I just check up top? When she corrects Mindy Kaling in episode two for saying...
In the most passive-aggressive way possible.
Well, you know I'm a Sussex now.
It's so funny slash it's so fucking annoying. Will you please stop?
But does she mean her name is Megan Sussex?
Yes, she explains that. So I think what happens with the royals is when you get made like the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Wales, that becomes your second name. So because she's the Duchess of Sussex, her second name turns into Sussex. I thought it was Windsor.
Wait, so but what's her Instagram name?
Just Megan. And then underneath it says Duchess of Sussex. And if you look in the credits, it says Megan comma...
Duchess of Sussex right I mean when she says that and she goes I share my name with my children yeah and I didn't know how important that would be to be sharing it but it's like our little anyway Clara and I both watched episode two and as Clara just said before we started recording we probably won't be watching anymore the episode has Mindy Kaling in it who looks stunning PS great double denim
she looks amazing yeah she looks unbelievable so funny and like all her jokes were like she's working hard to get a lol out of Megan like really going over time
I just found the whole thing very self-indulgent like it was very echoing the Kardashians when they're like Kim you are unbelievable you are amazing like I just felt like yes that's what was going on the whole time good point and actually yeah yeah That's all she does back.
Exactly. It just felt a little bit like, let me invite you over and then you just give me endless compliments.
Yeah, like there wasn't a back and forth.
No, and it was, you could really tell where the planted questions were. So she, Mindy Kaling had obviously been like, call her Meghan Markle at some point. Then she'll respond with the, no, you know, I'm not Meghan Markle anymore. It felt very staged or like people were given questions. I thought the whole episode and vibe of the show was giving me this like weird, what does this remind me of? Like, I feel like I've been here before. And I think the energy this gives off, this intenseness, this earnestness, this is, this like overly perfect, eat your toasted crostini over the sink so we don't get any crumbs on the ground. Her going crazy when she drops a blueberry is very, very Monica Geller. Very intense. There's no fun. There was no humor.
No, it's a fun-free zone.
Joyless. Oh, I'm just like, here's something I harvested this morning in my extremely large and bee-filled garden. And like, let me show you how to cut a strawberry or put a manuka stick in a party bag. There's no... With those cooking shows, like Nigella Lawson takes the piss with her micro-waves and her... She... The way she like overdoes the sultry and she's like, all the men love her and like the women are obsessed and she's got her low cut tops and she's, she does it in a very like velvety M&S. Hello and welcome to my kachan, it's me and my microave. And she leans into it and she takes the piss. Then you have like Martha Stewart. So New York Times dubbed Megan when this all got announced as the millennial Martha Stewart of Montecito. But then when you, I went back. and watch some on YouTube. There's a few like Martha Stewart videos from her show. And like, fair enough, she's doing it in front of a live audience because Megan is a perfectionist and Martha Stewart is known as this perfectionist. But there's like no sense of fun and where you get that fun is with the guests. So like there's really, this got like 8 million views on YouTube where Martha Stewart invites Robin Williams in and he's there cooking and he's making. So many jokes. He's like what probably is Mrs. Dad for when he's doing all the accents and so many innuendos. And she's there like trying and she plays into it. And she she's like. lets herself go in that humour. Whereas Megan, it's like everything is controlled.
It's very cryogenic and frozen. Like her arms don't bend all the way. And I did see what someone said about this unreality show that is a dystopian nightmare for feminists. Which is so true. But just the main thing for me was the robotic, frozen. you know when you meet someone and you're like they're a robot yeah like you know when they're in a room and they're you're like they have no personality they're not bringing anything and then you're like what a weird life that must be yeah this is like that but like it's so uncomfortable especially when visually and everything it's stunning like it's beautiful the colors are amazing the food is delicious the setting the garden like is that her own vine no it's not it's a set but like all of that it has the like it has what everything you want to look at make it look stunning and it is so like it's like a tin man yeah and nothing is natural it's like and my friend mindy kaling is coming over and i have nothing to feed mindy yeah i'm gonna whip up a fresh frittata oh and while that's cooking let's make a little parfait like it's like something from the 50s trying to make it and it's just like if she just took a half a zanac yeah and just or just like do you know what I mean just some like mushy chocolate anything just to take the level of robot dough yeah you're so right because visually it's like a Nora Ephron movie with a Nancy Meyers direction yeah it's like the holiday or it's complicated yes like all that all the visual stuff the cooking and the laughing all that kind of stuff you feel it and like all the graphics and the fonts and stuff is delicious and then you've got this big tin man who just needs so much oil yeah and then just like the fawning like mindy saying receiving one of your preserves was the most glamorous moment of my life and it's like do we need to fawn over people like do we need that like people are already getting irritated by her like i just they need like a few drinks and then they're pretending to drink in and you're like you're not drinking filling it with so much peach nectar or whatever it was was like
If someone put all that juice in my drink, I'd be so annoyed.
Something I blended yesterday. No. The giggling. It's the incessant giggling. Sorry, but the main thing for me about the robot thing was all I want is for her to pull her hair back, like slick it back. This is Megan I'm talking about. Slick her hair back. Take all the dinky doodly things off and stop curating your outfit with the curled up coat. And the light wave. The tinkery. basket and the draping of the sweater the sweater around the shoulders is so A it's impractical and it looks stupid and then she's going to oh let me get something out of the fridge here's what I did yet just take the fucking sweater do you know what I mean she's in all cream and then she's blending a frittata it's so unrealistic it's like for a kids party sorry the theme if you haven't watched it is a garden tea party for a children I would scream if I was a parent and someone was like let's let's make ladybug crostinis. You'd be like,
what? Just give me a sausage roll. Just give me fucking sausage.
Yeah, you'd be like, this is for kids. Like, oh my God, unrelatable.
It was very, I thought, parent shamey. It was like life is in the moments because when you bring love to a moment, that just shows everyone you care. And it's like, well, what if I've got two jobs and I'm broken up with my partner and, you know, I don't have time to... balsamic glaze, you know, this onto my tomato, dots onto my tomato to make it look like a ladybird, like tone deaf.
And it was just all so like tiny little things doing them. That's not what a kid's party is. Where does anyone want that to be a kid's party like? And then it got to my favourite thing,
party bags. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Anyone who knows me knows from my mother's theatrical energy, I love party bags. She made the most unbelievable party bags for my childhood parties and I love doing them. I've done them for several hens and they're very exciting. For a kid, she puts sugar snap peas and basil seeds. Yep. A compostable pot and a manuka honey stick. And that's what the kid is going out with. And she's like, I think, you know, parents would be appreciative that they have something to play with on the way home in the car before they pass out. The child isn't going to play with seeds.
No, they're going to be. If I was a child at that party, I would have a full blown tantrum. Where's my dibdob?
Where's the candy?
Where's my Freddo?
Or a fun bracelet? Yes. Or stickers?
Colouring book?
Anything.
It was really, really quite. Tone deaf. And it felt like, sorry, you're not planting with your children. You're the type of parent that would give your kids sugar.
I took these from my garden, which I have acres of. Yeah,
with endless bees.
With endless bees and sugar snapping. You know what? If you just took a dine a peg and you were like, oh, let's make the ladybug crostini. But then you were like, oh, these chocolates are unreal. Like, let's put those on the table. It'd be a mix and match. Because at some point, Mindy was like, let's discuss your Luke. Yeah. And she says Luke. And then Megan's like. My Luke? What's my Luke? And she's like, your Luke? And then she figures out that it's her outfit. Well, she says, I go high-low. Why can't you go high-low on the party? Yes. Why can't you do the mojito honey stick with some nice chocolate? I don't understand.
Why does it all have to be like organic vegetables?
It's like she's wanting to set everyone off.
Yeah. She's the kind of mum that we've all met that you're like, oh my God, who's this Defford wife? that makes you feel like this giant, like, slob or an oaf in her presence. Do you know, it's kind of like, I just effortlessly threw this together. But then it's like, it's just so simple. It's like, not everyone has that time.
And she's like, oh, it's budget friendly. And you're like, what? On what planet is Manuka Honeystick budget friendly?
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's just not for everyone. And I appreciate it shouldn't be.
I don't think it's for anyone.
But like, it's difficult with her because like, No matter what she does, everyone will scrutinize her. And while, yes, we're allowed not to enjoy the show. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be on the Piers Morgan, Jeremy Clarkson side of hating her.
No, no, I agree.
No, and we're not. But because it's a set, because she wants it to be this like a 2015 kind of Instagram aspirational aesthetic, it completely misses the mark. And you have things like an apocalyptic world, like literally. LA, California was on fire a few months ago. And you're talking about crudités and balloon arches and flower sprinkles. And it just feels very like tone deaf. And like, I think the Kardashians do it well in a sense being like, they give you a peek into their like billionaire lifestyle. They don't hide away from it. She's trying to do too many things at once. She's trying to be relatable. It's also like a set. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's done a Netflix show. She has a ridiculous lifestyle brand. But... she laughs at herself, which Meghan doesn't do. And I think she has the wherewithal to go, you know what? Trump's just become president. The world is literally on fire. The environment's burning. And while this is escapism TV, it's also like not relatable because everybody's, it's how much is it for a box of eggs in America? Like $35. People don't have the time or the mental energy for what she's talking about. I think it's just a missed time show. Your message is less important than... What's going on?
I think it's a missed time, though, by like...
Ten years. It's like she's doing what the Tig wanted to do in 2015, but she's just going ahead with it anyway. She's like, she's living out that fantasy.
She also had these really annoying things that, like, I wrote down that just, like, she was like, the gang, the little ones. Yeah. Husbands.
Do you notice that now?
Just be like the kids. Yeah. It's just all so contrived.
and like even to host a kids party episode with no kids in it and fair enough you don't want your kids on TV and Mindy Kaling is like pretty private about her kids but to even have like I don't know neighbour kids a few robot children yeah little botty scary children I don't know it's very do you remember we were talking about a few weeks ago about her and the show was coming out or whatever and she had that vision board there's a lot of like quotes that she throws in where it's like she I think she's moved to tears by birdsong at one point it's wanderlust it's so unselfaware but then really earnest at the same time which is such an unusual like she's putting flowers and ice but then she's also like not really acknowledging that you know not everyone has like six hours to prepare for a guest and to rebag pretzels and use calligraphy I suppose the show just isn't for me it's not bingeable but it doesn't make me dislike her interesting
like I don't dislike her I'm just like would you just cut the crap
I know because I'm sure she is grand do you know do it or don't do it at all though like have something real and tell us what it's like to be a royal or just don't do it because this kind of in between thing it's so disingenuous it's really inauthentic like come on show us like out with the girls having a bit of fun there's no laughing it's all very like ha ha romance yeah I just feel like
there is like a block between who she actually is yeah and who's being portrayed yeah and like it's just too visible like i think like pop stars 20 years ago we all thought they were a certain way and now they come out now and all their autobiographies or whatever and they're like oh that was utter hell like i hated this i was drunk half the time whatever it was But that's what it was like kind of before the Internet kicked off, where it's like people want authenticity now.
Way more than ever.
I just feel like if it's someone guiding her or maybe it's nerves, I don't know. I just it's so unrelatable. But still, you know, you can have something that you want to reach for, but it's just so robotic.
Yeah, like Gwyneth Paltrow is extremely unrelatable, but because she's got a bit of charm and self-deprecating.
And she'll still be like, yeah, I'll have a drink. Yeah, I agree.
Yeah. And even though we know that if. Gwyneth Paltrow ate like a McDonald's, she'd probably end up in a coma. But like she leans into that and she takes the piss. Whereas you're right, there is this like complete block with Meghan. And I appreciate like if you're under scrutiny for that long and all the media shit she's had to go through, you would lose your identity and all that because you're just, who are you now? And like everything, you breathe and the whole world hates you. But if she leaned into, if she could just pull the walls down a bit more. and let us into the real Megan of what it's like, then I think she'd get so much buy-in.
Or just use her as a host.
Yeah, or get funner guests as well. Guests that we know. But you wonder why Mindy Kaye... When I was scanning through the episodes, I was like, oh, Mindy, I know her, I love her. But even when Mindy's feeding her all these lines, being like, oh my God, you're like Tinkerbell. And she's like, ah, another compliment. Back to my fruit rainbow of whatever. It's just very out of touch. It's too curated. Also, what a terrible rollout, right? I appreciate the With Love and As Ever are separate brands.
Sorry, could you explain this to me? With Love is the TV show and As Ever is the old American Riviera Orchard.
100%. I don't understand why those two aren't connecting. Surely you should have called the show As Ever and then because you can buy all those products on. the website but they don't and it's also I was trying to find like the recipes or like how to make the bath salts and all that stuff you wanted to make the part I wanted to get crafting okay and there's it's very it's very unclear I thought it was like a shop along it's not I remember you saying it was going to be a shop shoppable show even when you go on to her as ever website all the stuff is there but you can't buy it yet where's the rollout the website's not ready they also just hired a new
like chief communications officer and this only happened like five days ago but didn't the show just come on air like a week ago just get your ducks in a row it's like there's no plan it's very convoluted there's a block making up as they go along I think what would you rate it out of we won't do rotten tomatoes we'll do manuka honey sticks what would you rate it out of manuka honey sticks out of five one and a half I think I agree with you It's just so awkward to watch.
It's so awkward. The Guardian described it as toe curling, unlovable TV and also said it was exhausting. I think it just it just reminded me of those women from those those Instagram days being like, everything is so perfect. But, you know, it's all a veneer.
You know, like only their eyes move.
Yeah. So I just I just wish for Megan she would let go a bit more and let us in. Or maybe that's just all this to her. And that's like, OK, you know, you just love to see her a bit more like. As you say, scrape the hair back. She does acknowledge that it's not her house, but she's like 80 people. I'm like, do you really need 80 people to film a TV show? It's like the podcast costs like 30 million pounds and you hired 27 people and you only made 12 episodes. What? The inflation of value here has gone a bit much. You just need a couple of cameramen. In your kitchen.
Now, I did like when the cameramen were eating the blueberries.
That's what I mean. Those moments were really lovely.
That's what I want to see. Come on. But again, just a caveat, this isn't hating on Megan. Because I actually think it's a lot of different people getting involved. And they actually all just haven't had a conversation. No.
And we just want her to let go. Have fun. Just let your hair down, Megs. Well, that wraps up another amazing item class. We hope you've enjoyed. Be sure to follow us along and subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode because you never know when we're going to drop them. You can follow us on Instagram at self underscore lines or at classy cabana. And yeah, we'll talk to you on Tuesday for our regular, regularly scheduled programming. Mate, I wish they gave us a fucking Netflix show. That's what I'm really upset about.
I have loads of stuff that I think we'd be really good at.
Imagine the two of us in a kitchen. That would be so funny. It would just be a bar, I suppose.
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