Why do you care so much about what other people think? In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, hosts Jon Macaskill and Will Schneider sit down with Army veteran, mental performance coach, and Skull Sessions podcast host Andy Riise to dismantle the most quietly destructive pattern in men's lives — the approval trap. There's a name for what's running in the background of your decisions, and it isn't a character flaw. It's biology. It's called Fear of Negative Evaluation, and it's one of the most studied psychological patterns in clinical research.

The guys break down why your brain literally cannot tell the difference between social rejection and physical pain, why the audience judging you is half the size you think, and how approval seeking shows up in ways most men never connect to the root cause — over-committing at work, constant reassurance seeking in relationships, buying your kids' affection, and still chasing approval from people who haven't been in your life for decades. Understanding it is the first step to breaking free.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What Fear of Negative Evaluation is and why every man is dealing with it whether he knows it or not

• The spotlight effect and the Cornell research that proves you're performing for half the audience you think

• How approval seeking silently destroys your career, your relationships, and your sense of self

• What "ghosts" are — and how to identify whose voice is still running in your head

• Why it's not about not caring — it's about choosing deliberately what deserves your care

• Practical tools you can use this week to start breaking free from the approval trap
  

Follow Andy:
Website: https://andyriise.com
TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbNLu7JcZNA

Podcast: https://www.skullsessionspodcast.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyriise

If you've ever held back in a meeting, softened your opinion to keep the peace, or made a decision based on what someone else might think — this conversation will change the way you see yourself and the way you move through the world.

Focus Now Training - helping leaders and teams build focus, resilience, and emotional control. Visit focusnowtraining.com

Subscribe to Your Thursday Three Things — practical focus tools connected to each week’s episode.
Free and deep-dive versions available:
https://newsletter.focusnowtraining.com
Or text MTM to 33777 and we’ll send the link straight to you.

2026 Spartan Race Team:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026
More episodes & resources: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com

If this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who's trying to hold it all together.

This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.com

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.