Description
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Carl Jung said that when a man deals with his own shadow, he does something real for the world. On this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, host Will Schneider sits down with Connor Beaton, founder of Man Talks and author of Men's Work, to get into what shadow work actually looks like for men and why most of us have been trained since childhood to avoid it.
Connor explains why men tend to carry a denser shadow than women. Masculine culture teaches strength through suppression. Stuff it down, hide the weakness, perform. The result is that the parts of yourself you've rejected... anger, vulnerability, self-compassion... don't go away. They go underground. And they start running the show from there.
Connor walks Will through the mechanics of how anger gets repressed and creates the nice guy pattern, how shame gets used on boys to gain compliance and then keeps grown men living small, and what he calls shame-based motivation... using pain as fuel to achieve, which works until it doesn't.
Connor shares his own story of bottoming out in his late twenties, living in the back of a Pontiac G5, apprenticing with a Jungian mentor, and the conversation with a close friend that changed everything. He and Will get into relationships as mirrors for shadow, the difference between guilt and shame, psychedelics and the default mode network, and why the real work for men is growing down into yourself rather than always building up and out.
What you'll hear in this episode:
Why masculine culture creates a denser shadow through suppression
The nice guy pattern and what happens when anger goes underground
Shame-based motivation and why it has a shelf life
Connor's crisis story and the two things that pulled him out
Separating personhood from behavior and why it matters for fathers and sons
Relationships as the clearest mirror for your shadow
Psychedelics, the default mode network, and accessing the unconscious
Growing down instead of growing up as the real path to maturity
Connor's book: Men's Work Connor's website: ManTalks.com Man Talks Alliance: ManTalks.com (courses, live calls, community) Connor's platforms: Instagram, YouTube, Spotify
Full episode: https://pod.fo/e/33c406
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