Description
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
Description
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
398 episodes


Our guest on this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast is Lacy Bentley, a recovery mentor, and coach in the areas of love and sex addictions for women. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness At age 13, Lacy found herself consuming erotic novels and pornographic anime called hentai. She didn’t realize it until much later in life, but her involvement with those types of pornography had created an addiction to the fantasy that affected all of her relationships into adulthood. She developed a pattern of escape and avoidance related to any intense emotion – positive or negative – that was affecting her marriage and her relationship with her children as well. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> Once she realized her own issues, she realized that there had to be other women out there who were struggling as well, but no one was willing to talk about women having problems with pornography. Since so much of pornography involves the subjugation and abuse of women, there is a “girl code trauma” associated with women being aroused by the terrible things that are portrayed happening to other women. Lacy has found in her work to help women find the freedom and recovery that they so desperately need that once a woman is willing to admit her addiction, she is usually all-in to do whatever needs to be done to heal. They need to go through a period of raw and unfiltered honesty about what has happened, then move past the shame that they have been living with for too long, and find their way to reconnecting with their partner healthily and intimately. One of the keys to a successful recovery is opening up and walking through your struggles with your partner, talking about what happened, what works, what doesn’t work, and so on. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/57 Women who are struggling with love, sex, or porn addictions need to know that they are not alone. That they are worth recovery and that they have the right to be empowered to be themselves and have the courage to face their problems head-on. Lacy is a strong advocate of the concept of regaining your integrity because integrity is a big part of what is lost during an addiction. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
35min | Published on January 24, 2019


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, we are joined by Peter Grinspoon, a primary care physician in the Boston area who is an advocate of medical cannabis. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness During medical school, Peter and a few of his classmates decided to try a sample of Vicodin to see if they could experience the euphoric side effects. While his friends tried it that once and never felt compelled to try it again, Peter immediately felt the need to find another high. This feeling was exacerbated by the stress of the medical profession and the easy accessibility of medications, and throughout 10 years, he battled an opioid addiction. Ultimately, this addiction led him to trouble with the law, a 90-day rehab program, and a few relapses, but 3.5 years later, Peter had progressed in his recovery enough to get his medical license back. He credits his successful recovery to the support he received from his family, friends, and Physician Health Program. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> Peter is an advocate of medical cannabis treatment as an alternative to help avoid and treat opioid addictions. Cannabis can effectively be used to treat chronic pain either in conjunction with or in the place of opioids. Baby Boomers are particularly open to trying this treatment and Peter anticipates that more people will be willing once the US government legitimizes its uses and changes the classification. Contrary to what people may think, medical cannabis does not have to be smoked and does not have to give the user a high because different chemicals within the marijuana plant can be isolated to be used in treatment. There is a hurtful stigma within the recovery community that insinuates that medically-assisted treatment is not adherence to the “zero tolerance” rule. Peter says that rehab programs that do not recognize the values of medically-assisted treatments are becoming irrelevant as a result of this stigma and he hopes that they will learn to adapt to the times. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/56 He also emphasizes the significance and importance to an addict of the love and support from family and friends. Even though they may have given up on themselves, it could mean all the difference for them to know that you will not give up on them. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on January 2, 2019


Our guest on this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast is Joshua Shea, who joins us to tell his story of addictions to alcohol and pornography and the past 4 years of recovery. Joshua was first introduced to porn around age 11 and alcohol at age 15, and looking back, he recognizes that he was addicted from Day 1. Even at a young age, he began to use alcohol and porn as an escape from life and a way to soothe whatever emotions or pain he was experiencing, seeking the element of power or control over his circumstances that he didn’t have in the real world. He leaned on the notion that alcohol and porn were never going to let him down or tell him he wasn’t good enough, and this mentality became a crutch for him. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Joshua remembers that things began spinning out of control when he was struggling to keep up with work and his public service, so he took himself off of his medications for bipolar disorder to have more time and perceived clarity. Instead, his consumption of alcohol and porn exploded and became uncontrollable, which magnified the unmanageability of his life situation. He had learned during his 20+ years of addiction how to get away with things, but he knew at this point that something was going to get him. He began to have dreams about childhood memories that he had repressed about abuse and trauma that he had endured. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> On March 20, 2014, the Maine State Police knocked on Joshua’s door and arrested him for child pornography. Apparently one of the women that he had engaged in a porn chatroom was, in fact, an underage girl. He was immediately fired from his job, which he saw as a removal from one of the stressful situations in his life and was the beginning of his “clean slate.” He met with his lawyer after his arrest and finally realized that he had a problem with alcohol and porn. Although his life had been spinning out of control and he was mostly estranged from his wife and children, he had not recognized that he was an addict. He sees now that he would not have been receptive to anything less than getting into trouble with the law regarding confrontations, interventions, or conversations about his behavior. He entered a rehab program at the recommendation of his lawyer with low expectations, but he was utterly amazed by the content of the program and his progress along the way, and he ended up staying in alcohol rehab for 10 weeks instead of the original 4. He began seeing a therapist regularly, which unearthed the repressed childhood traumas and allowed him to process them and how those memories had been affecting him for decades since. Finally, 22 months after his arrest, Joshua was sentenced to 6 months in jail. At this point, he had already completed rehab and began a new life, committed to recovering, so he spent those 6 months writing the first draft of his book. He also went through 7 weeks of rehab for pornography and then began working as a freelance writer, which allowed him the time flexibility to focus on his health and recovery. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/55 Now, Joshua is 4+ years sober and lives a much simpler life than before, focused on his family and not on the judgments of others. He has committed to remaining sober and has set up safeguards and tools that aid him in staying away from alcohol and porn. He is an advocate of addicts going through rehab programs if they have the resources, but the most important thing is to just reach out for help. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
40min | Published on December 11, 2018


Our guest on this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast is Mari Lee, a licensed marriage and family and certified sex addiction therapist supervisor, consultant, coach, speaker, author, and founder of Growth Counseling Services in Glendora, CA. Mari is a firm believer in the power of group therapy in conjunction with individual therapy and 12-step sessions to aid in the recovery process, especially with sex and porn addictions. Addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation, and could often be triggered by boredom and loneliness, so an excellent way to progress in the recovery process is to have a confidential group of individuals who know what you are going through and can support you along the way. The members of this group could, in fact, be the first healthy relationships they have each experienced. Sign Up For our 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Group therapy, when facilitated the right way, can provide the individuals with shame reduction practices, a community with the other members, structure, consistency, inclusion, focused discussions, and accountability. The connections between the group members are often viewed as a brotherhood or sisterhood and provide a foundation for each member as they engage with their life circumstances outside of the group as well. It is common for individuals in the group to have trauma from their families of origin, and these traumas and unhealthy familial roles typically play a part in these group therapy sessions. Group therapy members are also encouraged to attend 12-step programs to support their individual recovery as well since these programs are more systematic and structured, providing each individual with a sponsor for accountability. However, 12-step programs do not have the flexibility of group therapy when it comes to cross-talk between group members, feedback, and deep conversations. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/54 Mari encourages anyone out there who is considering joining a group therapy session to go ahead and give it a shot. Be sure to do a pre-group interview with your therapist to determine which group might be best for you and be open to being referred to a group in another therapist’s practice if that one is the best fit. Find out the logistics of when the group meets and how a session typically looks, so you are as prepared as possible for your initial meeting. Be open to the process and commit to the group for your own healing. Therapy in their practices, Mari recommends reaching out to a consultant who can help you come up with curriculum, client standards, policies, forms, standards of care, and a general roadmap for conducting and facilitating your group. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on November 30, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Suzie Wolfer, LCSW, SEP a therapist specializing in Somatic Experiencing®, a powerful system of healing trauma and addiction at it’s core and for completing trauma so that it’s let go of you. Sign Up For our 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Somatic means “of the body,” which includes the sensations we feel when we experience different emotions and thoughts. Trauma and stress are stored in the body, causing behaviors, patterns or responses arising from implicit memory system or the unconscious. Our initial reaction to the uncomfortable feelings that are associated with trauma and stress is to stabilize these feelings by managing them from the “top down,” striving to suppress, control, or make the feelings go away. This desire to manage troubling thoughts and emotions, though useful in the short term, keeps us from healing the underlying stuck patterns, that show up as chronic Fight, Flight or Freeze behaviors or a combination of these. With somatic therapy, we help your body remember how to complete stuck Fight, Flight or Freeze patterns We call this re-negotiation. Instead of trying to get rid of scary, infuriating or numbing feelings and thoughts, you learn to watch them, especially in how your body expresses them. Imagine a roller coaster. It can be scary and exhilarating to feel the car taking you up, up, up to tower over the precipice, wondering if the little wheels will keep you safely on the rails. Challenging emotions, even pleasure, can start to feel scary, and it’s easy to use substances or compulsive behaviors to try to manage or outrun the sense of threat they pose, of “going off the rails.” The closer we get to the top of the roller coaster, the more energy builds inside us, including excitement. When you are able to observe what’s happening inside, especially observe your body sensations associated with thoughts and emotions, these emotional messengers can deliver their message and let go of you. When that happens, like when the roller coaster car comes back to the platform, you may feel a good feeling, a smile on your face, as you get off on level ground and go on to the next thing. Maybe even a little more confident in your ability of face challenges! Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/53 In the past decade of supporting her patients with Somatic Experiencing® Therapy, Suzie has found that this gentle approach helps people not only feel better, but get better, a little at a time, and in every session. Like a caboose on a train, the thinking process is sometimes the last to know! Here’s a little 3-step process you can try at home: Are you safe? Yes or no. Notice that feeling safe and being safe in this moment are two different things. Using your 5 senses, notice signals or data are you getting from the world outside you, which confirm that you are safe. What are these signals? Next, notice what happens in your body when you confirm that you are safe in this moment. Perhaps savor what you discover. If you could take one thing from this podcast, here’s what Suzie would like you to know: “That you may discover that you are not broken. Your body is simply trying to solve a different problem than your mind. Collaborating with your biology will help you heal and release stored trauma and feel like yourself again.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on November 13, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind, we are joined by Michael Hobbes, a writer for The Huffington Post and co-host of the You’re Wrong About… podcast. Michael wrote an article entitled “Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong” for HuffPost in September 2018 which has gotten a lot of attention in the psychology community as well as the culture at large. There are 160 million Americans that are classified as overweight or obese based on the BMI scale, but even though these individuals constitute 30% of the population, they are treated as a marginalized minority who are somehow tainted or inferior to the rest of Americans. During the interviews that Michael conducted for his article, he encountered countless people who felt guilt, shame, hurt, anger, and sadness based on the way they have been treated or the projections of what they want to look and feel like instead of the way they do right now. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that overweight or obese people are lazy and that if they would just exercise some self-control, they would suddenly shrink down to “normal.” There is not much tolerance for the overweight and obese community, making those individuals feel less than human and live in a constant state of stress about their weight and others’ perceptions of them, even if they are trying their best to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Michael hopes that his article advocates for this community to have their voices heard and be accepted for who they are, just the way they are. The mental toll that unsolicited advice and diet suggestions have on overweight individuals can put them in a cycle of stress that exacerbates any issues they may have and can even make them suicidal. Michael emphasizes the importance of stigma resistance, which gives overweight individuals a voice to express their needs and stand up for themselves in environments where they have never been heard before. It should not be a big deal for someone to ask for a bigger chair at a work meeting or to be seated at a table instead of a booth at a restaurant if needed. Fat shaming has no place in our society and can only be stopped if we realize that we are all equal and deserving of courteous behavior. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
37min | Published on November 2, 2018


On this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Tom Horvath, founder of Practical Recovery and co-founder of Smart Recovery. Smart Recovery is a non-12-step approach to addictive behavior problems that provides an alternative to programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. While both methods provide new communities and relationships to build on as well as specific examples of individuals who are models of success, AA is based on the idea that you must give yourself up to a higher power because “you are powerless” and must rely on your sponsor and meetings in order to recover. 12-step programs can be helpful to some, but they can be ineffective for others, so the demand for alternative programs is continuing to increase. Smart Recovery integrates any methods that have been supported by scientific evidence, are self-empowering and are applicable in a mutual help group, including CBT, DBT, and ACT. They recognize that there are multiple pathways to recovery and that great results occur in a community. Smart Recovery takes a self-empowering approach to recovery, relying on the individual to set their own limits and establishing a 4-point program for people to work through: Maintaining motivation Coping with craving Identifying and resolving other problems Achieving a greater lifestyle balance Smart Recovery emphasizes “ideal” recovery, rather than “real” recovery as is expected in 12-step programs. Ideal recovery may not be complete abstinence, but rather staying within the limits that each person sets (and potentially changes along the way) for themselves, which is the point of the accountability of attending meetings. Tom encourages those struggling with addictive behaviors or searching for a recovery group to be persistent in finding what works for you. Most people are able to resolve their problems with treatment, so just don’t give up. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
29min | Published on October 19, 2018


Our guest on this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast is Dr. Ken Adams, a therapist specializing in the area of parental enmeshment and its connection to compulsive behaviors such as porn and sex addiction. All families are defined by the balance of closeness and separate between the members. Enmeshed families overemphasize their closeness, resulting in the parents controlling the decisions of their children, demanding their loyalty, prohibiting them from becoming involved with friends or activities outside of the family, and using guilt as a punishment for trying to separate any part of their lives from their parents. It is not uncommon for the parents in these types of families to treat the children as a surrogate husband or wife, expecting the child to fulfill their emotional needs. As a result of experiencing this lifestyle throughout childhood, adults usually find themselves struggling to live their own lives, even if they are geographically separated from each other. The enmeshment mentality can make them feel smothered, engulfed, or trapped by their parents, while remaining staunchly loyal to them, perhaps even at the cost of their marriage or other relationships. Living with this burden often leads to addictive behavior in the porn or sexual realm, with the affected adult child seeking freedom that does not come with any commitments. In every other area of their life, they feel stifled under the weight of others’ expectations, and compulsive behaviors give them the short-term release that they feel like they need. When Dr. Adams sees adult children affected by enmeshment for therapy, the first step is to move them from their pre-contemplative state of considering that they may have an issue with enmeshment and possibly a related addiction. Perhaps they have done some self-education by listening to podcasts, reading books or articles, or viewing videos on the topic, and they feel that they can identify with the feelings and behaviors being described. The next step a therapist takes is to delicately shift their internal entanglements and beliefs and help them establish external boundaries for themselves and their parents. He conducts intensive therapeutic workshops to help individuals through this process. If you think you or someone you know is struggling with parental enmeshment, remember that there are resources out there to help you gain the separation that is so crucial to thriving in your own life. Reach out and consider reading one of Dr. Adams’ books to learn more about taking the necessary steps toward true freedom. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
27min | Published on October 11, 2018


Ricky Santiago, a specialist in adventure therapy, joined us for this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast. He uses specially planned and designed activities such as kayaking, snorkeling, and ropes courses in his adventure therapy sessions. Experiential therapy like adventure therapy maximizes the benefits of group therapy by building self-esteem, utilizing metaphors, and providing an arena to practice coping skills and process emotions. Ricky and his colleagues have often found more success through one experiential therapy session than through several talk therapy sessions because clients are not able to hide their true selves when they are participating in an activity that is challenging to them mentally, emotionally, or physically. Since the therapist is participating in the activity as well, the clients see how the therapist handles their emotions and difficulties they come across, and clients can more easily open up about fears or challenges in their own lives or experiences. Though the timing of the formal “processing” aspect of the therapy session differs depending on the activity and the group, this is a crucial step for clients to take as they draw parallels from the adventure activity to their own lives, perhaps realizing things that they never had or being willing to share a trauma that they had never voiced. The effects of the treatment are ongoing, as the client will continually draw on their experience as they approach the problems in their lives and take steps to resolve the situation, just as they had been taught. Ricky encourages everyone to remember that recovery is possible and pursuing the treatment you need can change the trajectory of your entire family if you show up motivated and ready to work toward healing. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
28min | Published on September 27, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Anne Fletcher, author of 8 books including “Sober for Good” and “Inside Rehab.” Anne felt the need to write “Inside Rehab” after consulting with several experts, one of which posited that people usually spend more time picking out their next vacuum cleaner than they would finding the right addiction treatment facility. Driven by the notions that treatment should help people avoid hitting rock bottom and that their treatment should emphasize the benefits of sobriety over the pitfalls of addiction, she spent 4 years studying 15 different treatment centers across the country to see what was working and what wasn’t working for their patients. She was somewhat shocked to discover that most inpatient and outpatient treatment facilities heavily employ group-based treatment, 12-step methods such as AA, and counselors without medical or psychological expertise in their limited one-on-one sessions. As she expected, she heard stories of programs that worked for some people and not others, helpful and hurtful methods, and discrepancies between quality and cost. In fact, one of the facilities she studied had an on-site barber shop, cafeteria, radio station, and college level educational courses to help equip their patients with transferable skills that they could use to get a job after their treatment was concluded. Overall, Anne sees a lot of hope and opportunity in the future of addiction treatment facilities if they treat each patient as an individual and personalize their treatment to their background and situation, keeping in mind that therapeutic alliance between the patient and therapist is crucial to the patient’s recovery and success. She hopes to continue to see alternative methods to AA popping up across the country, because AA’s process does not work for everyone, but a vast majority of treatment programs rely on it to help their patients. She is a firm believer that treatment centers will change certain things that may not be working if consumers express their concerns and desires. Anne’s advice to those who may need addiction treatment is to start by receiving an assessment from an individual therapist who is not associated with a treatment center. They will be able to give you their professional opinion about what kind of treatment you might need and can point you in the right direction. Also, keep in mind that inpatient treatment is not always the most effective unless the patient is in danger of self-harm or needs a period of detox. Be persistent in finding the right treatment for you; you are not alone, and you do not have to continue to live with this substance use disorder. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
38min | Published on September 21, 2018
Description
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
398 episodes


Our guest on this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast is Lacy Bentley, a recovery mentor, and coach in the areas of love and sex addictions for women. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness At age 13, Lacy found herself consuming erotic novels and pornographic anime called hentai. She didn’t realize it until much later in life, but her involvement with those types of pornography had created an addiction to the fantasy that affected all of her relationships into adulthood. She developed a pattern of escape and avoidance related to any intense emotion – positive or negative – that was affecting her marriage and her relationship with her children as well. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> Once she realized her own issues, she realized that there had to be other women out there who were struggling as well, but no one was willing to talk about women having problems with pornography. Since so much of pornography involves the subjugation and abuse of women, there is a “girl code trauma” associated with women being aroused by the terrible things that are portrayed happening to other women. Lacy has found in her work to help women find the freedom and recovery that they so desperately need that once a woman is willing to admit her addiction, she is usually all-in to do whatever needs to be done to heal. They need to go through a period of raw and unfiltered honesty about what has happened, then move past the shame that they have been living with for too long, and find their way to reconnecting with their partner healthily and intimately. One of the keys to a successful recovery is opening up and walking through your struggles with your partner, talking about what happened, what works, what doesn’t work, and so on. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/57 Women who are struggling with love, sex, or porn addictions need to know that they are not alone. That they are worth recovery and that they have the right to be empowered to be themselves and have the courage to face their problems head-on. Lacy is a strong advocate of the concept of regaining your integrity because integrity is a big part of what is lost during an addiction. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
35min | Published on January 24, 2019


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, we are joined by Peter Grinspoon, a primary care physician in the Boston area who is an advocate of medical cannabis. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness During medical school, Peter and a few of his classmates decided to try a sample of Vicodin to see if they could experience the euphoric side effects. While his friends tried it that once and never felt compelled to try it again, Peter immediately felt the need to find another high. This feeling was exacerbated by the stress of the medical profession and the easy accessibility of medications, and throughout 10 years, he battled an opioid addiction. Ultimately, this addiction led him to trouble with the law, a 90-day rehab program, and a few relapses, but 3.5 years later, Peter had progressed in his recovery enough to get his medical license back. He credits his successful recovery to the support he received from his family, friends, and Physician Health Program. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> Peter is an advocate of medical cannabis treatment as an alternative to help avoid and treat opioid addictions. Cannabis can effectively be used to treat chronic pain either in conjunction with or in the place of opioids. Baby Boomers are particularly open to trying this treatment and Peter anticipates that more people will be willing once the US government legitimizes its uses and changes the classification. Contrary to what people may think, medical cannabis does not have to be smoked and does not have to give the user a high because different chemicals within the marijuana plant can be isolated to be used in treatment. There is a hurtful stigma within the recovery community that insinuates that medically-assisted treatment is not adherence to the “zero tolerance” rule. Peter says that rehab programs that do not recognize the values of medically-assisted treatments are becoming irrelevant as a result of this stigma and he hopes that they will learn to adapt to the times. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/56 He also emphasizes the significance and importance to an addict of the love and support from family and friends. Even though they may have given up on themselves, it could mean all the difference for them to know that you will not give up on them. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on January 2, 2019


Our guest on this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast is Joshua Shea, who joins us to tell his story of addictions to alcohol and pornography and the past 4 years of recovery. Joshua was first introduced to porn around age 11 and alcohol at age 15, and looking back, he recognizes that he was addicted from Day 1. Even at a young age, he began to use alcohol and porn as an escape from life and a way to soothe whatever emotions or pain he was experiencing, seeking the element of power or control over his circumstances that he didn’t have in the real world. He leaned on the notion that alcohol and porn were never going to let him down or tell him he wasn’t good enough, and this mentality became a crutch for him. Calming The Addicted Mind - 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Joshua remembers that things began spinning out of control when he was struggling to keep up with work and his public service, so he took himself off of his medications for bipolar disorder to have more time and perceived clarity. Instead, his consumption of alcohol and porn exploded and became uncontrollable, which magnified the unmanageability of his life situation. He had learned during his 20+ years of addiction how to get away with things, but he knew at this point that something was going to get him. He began to have dreams about childhood memories that he had repressed about abuse and trauma that he had endured. Join The Addicted Mind Podcast Facebook Group>>> On March 20, 2014, the Maine State Police knocked on Joshua’s door and arrested him for child pornography. Apparently one of the women that he had engaged in a porn chatroom was, in fact, an underage girl. He was immediately fired from his job, which he saw as a removal from one of the stressful situations in his life and was the beginning of his “clean slate.” He met with his lawyer after his arrest and finally realized that he had a problem with alcohol and porn. Although his life had been spinning out of control and he was mostly estranged from his wife and children, he had not recognized that he was an addict. He sees now that he would not have been receptive to anything less than getting into trouble with the law regarding confrontations, interventions, or conversations about his behavior. He entered a rehab program at the recommendation of his lawyer with low expectations, but he was utterly amazed by the content of the program and his progress along the way, and he ended up staying in alcohol rehab for 10 weeks instead of the original 4. He began seeing a therapist regularly, which unearthed the repressed childhood traumas and allowed him to process them and how those memories had been affecting him for decades since. Finally, 22 months after his arrest, Joshua was sentenced to 6 months in jail. At this point, he had already completed rehab and began a new life, committed to recovering, so he spent those 6 months writing the first draft of his book. He also went through 7 weeks of rehab for pornography and then began working as a freelance writer, which allowed him the time flexibility to focus on his health and recovery. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/55 Now, Joshua is 4+ years sober and lives a much simpler life than before, focused on his family and not on the judgments of others. He has committed to remaining sober and has set up safeguards and tools that aid him in staying away from alcohol and porn. He is an advocate of addicts going through rehab programs if they have the resources, but the most important thing is to just reach out for help. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
40min | Published on December 11, 2018


Our guest on this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast is Mari Lee, a licensed marriage and family and certified sex addiction therapist supervisor, consultant, coach, speaker, author, and founder of Growth Counseling Services in Glendora, CA. Mari is a firm believer in the power of group therapy in conjunction with individual therapy and 12-step sessions to aid in the recovery process, especially with sex and porn addictions. Addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation, and could often be triggered by boredom and loneliness, so an excellent way to progress in the recovery process is to have a confidential group of individuals who know what you are going through and can support you along the way. The members of this group could, in fact, be the first healthy relationships they have each experienced. Sign Up For our 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Group therapy, when facilitated the right way, can provide the individuals with shame reduction practices, a community with the other members, structure, consistency, inclusion, focused discussions, and accountability. The connections between the group members are often viewed as a brotherhood or sisterhood and provide a foundation for each member as they engage with their life circumstances outside of the group as well. It is common for individuals in the group to have trauma from their families of origin, and these traumas and unhealthy familial roles typically play a part in these group therapy sessions. Group therapy members are also encouraged to attend 12-step programs to support their individual recovery as well since these programs are more systematic and structured, providing each individual with a sponsor for accountability. However, 12-step programs do not have the flexibility of group therapy when it comes to cross-talk between group members, feedback, and deep conversations. Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/54 Mari encourages anyone out there who is considering joining a group therapy session to go ahead and give it a shot. Be sure to do a pre-group interview with your therapist to determine which group might be best for you and be open to being referred to a group in another therapist’s practice if that one is the best fit. Find out the logistics of when the group meets and how a session typically looks, so you are as prepared as possible for your initial meeting. Be open to the process and commit to the group for your own healing. Therapy in their practices, Mari recommends reaching out to a consultant who can help you come up with curriculum, client standards, policies, forms, standards of care, and a general roadmap for conducting and facilitating your group. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on November 30, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Suzie Wolfer, LCSW, SEP a therapist specializing in Somatic Experiencing®, a powerful system of healing trauma and addiction at it’s core and for completing trauma so that it’s let go of you. Sign Up For our 6 Day Mindfulness Email Series theaddictedmind.com/mindfulness Somatic means “of the body,” which includes the sensations we feel when we experience different emotions and thoughts. Trauma and stress are stored in the body, causing behaviors, patterns or responses arising from implicit memory system or the unconscious. Our initial reaction to the uncomfortable feelings that are associated with trauma and stress is to stabilize these feelings by managing them from the “top down,” striving to suppress, control, or make the feelings go away. This desire to manage troubling thoughts and emotions, though useful in the short term, keeps us from healing the underlying stuck patterns, that show up as chronic Fight, Flight or Freeze behaviors or a combination of these. With somatic therapy, we help your body remember how to complete stuck Fight, Flight or Freeze patterns We call this re-negotiation. Instead of trying to get rid of scary, infuriating or numbing feelings and thoughts, you learn to watch them, especially in how your body expresses them. Imagine a roller coaster. It can be scary and exhilarating to feel the car taking you up, up, up to tower over the precipice, wondering if the little wheels will keep you safely on the rails. Challenging emotions, even pleasure, can start to feel scary, and it’s easy to use substances or compulsive behaviors to try to manage or outrun the sense of threat they pose, of “going off the rails.” The closer we get to the top of the roller coaster, the more energy builds inside us, including excitement. When you are able to observe what’s happening inside, especially observe your body sensations associated with thoughts and emotions, these emotional messengers can deliver their message and let go of you. When that happens, like when the roller coaster car comes back to the platform, you may feel a good feeling, a smile on your face, as you get off on level ground and go on to the next thing. Maybe even a little more confident in your ability of face challenges! Episode Link theaddictedmind.com/53 In the past decade of supporting her patients with Somatic Experiencing® Therapy, Suzie has found that this gentle approach helps people not only feel better, but get better, a little at a time, and in every session. Like a caboose on a train, the thinking process is sometimes the last to know! Here’s a little 3-step process you can try at home: Are you safe? Yes or no. Notice that feeling safe and being safe in this moment are two different things. Using your 5 senses, notice signals or data are you getting from the world outside you, which confirm that you are safe. What are these signals? Next, notice what happens in your body when you confirm that you are safe in this moment. Perhaps savor what you discover. If you could take one thing from this podcast, here’s what Suzie would like you to know: “That you may discover that you are not broken. Your body is simply trying to solve a different problem than your mind. Collaborating with your biology will help you heal and release stored trauma and feel like yourself again.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
30min | Published on November 13, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind, we are joined by Michael Hobbes, a writer for The Huffington Post and co-host of the You’re Wrong About… podcast. Michael wrote an article entitled “Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong” for HuffPost in September 2018 which has gotten a lot of attention in the psychology community as well as the culture at large. There are 160 million Americans that are classified as overweight or obese based on the BMI scale, but even though these individuals constitute 30% of the population, they are treated as a marginalized minority who are somehow tainted or inferior to the rest of Americans. During the interviews that Michael conducted for his article, he encountered countless people who felt guilt, shame, hurt, anger, and sadness based on the way they have been treated or the projections of what they want to look and feel like instead of the way they do right now. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that overweight or obese people are lazy and that if they would just exercise some self-control, they would suddenly shrink down to “normal.” There is not much tolerance for the overweight and obese community, making those individuals feel less than human and live in a constant state of stress about their weight and others’ perceptions of them, even if they are trying their best to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Michael hopes that his article advocates for this community to have their voices heard and be accepted for who they are, just the way they are. The mental toll that unsolicited advice and diet suggestions have on overweight individuals can put them in a cycle of stress that exacerbates any issues they may have and can even make them suicidal. Michael emphasizes the importance of stigma resistance, which gives overweight individuals a voice to express their needs and stand up for themselves in environments where they have never been heard before. It should not be a big deal for someone to ask for a bigger chair at a work meeting or to be seated at a table instead of a booth at a restaurant if needed. Fat shaming has no place in our society and can only be stopped if we realize that we are all equal and deserving of courteous behavior. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
37min | Published on November 2, 2018


On this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Tom Horvath, founder of Practical Recovery and co-founder of Smart Recovery. Smart Recovery is a non-12-step approach to addictive behavior problems that provides an alternative to programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. While both methods provide new communities and relationships to build on as well as specific examples of individuals who are models of success, AA is based on the idea that you must give yourself up to a higher power because “you are powerless” and must rely on your sponsor and meetings in order to recover. 12-step programs can be helpful to some, but they can be ineffective for others, so the demand for alternative programs is continuing to increase. Smart Recovery integrates any methods that have been supported by scientific evidence, are self-empowering and are applicable in a mutual help group, including CBT, DBT, and ACT. They recognize that there are multiple pathways to recovery and that great results occur in a community. Smart Recovery takes a self-empowering approach to recovery, relying on the individual to set their own limits and establishing a 4-point program for people to work through: Maintaining motivation Coping with craving Identifying and resolving other problems Achieving a greater lifestyle balance Smart Recovery emphasizes “ideal” recovery, rather than “real” recovery as is expected in 12-step programs. Ideal recovery may not be complete abstinence, but rather staying within the limits that each person sets (and potentially changes along the way) for themselves, which is the point of the accountability of attending meetings. Tom encourages those struggling with addictive behaviors or searching for a recovery group to be persistent in finding what works for you. Most people are able to resolve their problems with treatment, so just don’t give up. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
29min | Published on October 19, 2018


Our guest on this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast is Dr. Ken Adams, a therapist specializing in the area of parental enmeshment and its connection to compulsive behaviors such as porn and sex addiction. All families are defined by the balance of closeness and separate between the members. Enmeshed families overemphasize their closeness, resulting in the parents controlling the decisions of their children, demanding their loyalty, prohibiting them from becoming involved with friends or activities outside of the family, and using guilt as a punishment for trying to separate any part of their lives from their parents. It is not uncommon for the parents in these types of families to treat the children as a surrogate husband or wife, expecting the child to fulfill their emotional needs. As a result of experiencing this lifestyle throughout childhood, adults usually find themselves struggling to live their own lives, even if they are geographically separated from each other. The enmeshment mentality can make them feel smothered, engulfed, or trapped by their parents, while remaining staunchly loyal to them, perhaps even at the cost of their marriage or other relationships. Living with this burden often leads to addictive behavior in the porn or sexual realm, with the affected adult child seeking freedom that does not come with any commitments. In every other area of their life, they feel stifled under the weight of others’ expectations, and compulsive behaviors give them the short-term release that they feel like they need. When Dr. Adams sees adult children affected by enmeshment for therapy, the first step is to move them from their pre-contemplative state of considering that they may have an issue with enmeshment and possibly a related addiction. Perhaps they have done some self-education by listening to podcasts, reading books or articles, or viewing videos on the topic, and they feel that they can identify with the feelings and behaviors being described. The next step a therapist takes is to delicately shift their internal entanglements and beliefs and help them establish external boundaries for themselves and their parents. He conducts intensive therapeutic workshops to help individuals through this process. If you think you or someone you know is struggling with parental enmeshment, remember that there are resources out there to help you gain the separation that is so crucial to thriving in your own life. Reach out and consider reading one of Dr. Adams’ books to learn more about taking the necessary steps toward true freedom. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
27min | Published on October 11, 2018


Ricky Santiago, a specialist in adventure therapy, joined us for this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast. He uses specially planned and designed activities such as kayaking, snorkeling, and ropes courses in his adventure therapy sessions. Experiential therapy like adventure therapy maximizes the benefits of group therapy by building self-esteem, utilizing metaphors, and providing an arena to practice coping skills and process emotions. Ricky and his colleagues have often found more success through one experiential therapy session than through several talk therapy sessions because clients are not able to hide their true selves when they are participating in an activity that is challenging to them mentally, emotionally, or physically. Since the therapist is participating in the activity as well, the clients see how the therapist handles their emotions and difficulties they come across, and clients can more easily open up about fears or challenges in their own lives or experiences. Though the timing of the formal “processing” aspect of the therapy session differs depending on the activity and the group, this is a crucial step for clients to take as they draw parallels from the adventure activity to their own lives, perhaps realizing things that they never had or being willing to share a trauma that they had never voiced. The effects of the treatment are ongoing, as the client will continually draw on their experience as they approach the problems in their lives and take steps to resolve the situation, just as they had been taught. Ricky encourages everyone to remember that recovery is possible and pursuing the treatment you need can change the trajectory of your entire family if you show up motivated and ready to work toward healing. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
28min | Published on September 27, 2018


On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, our guest is Anne Fletcher, author of 8 books including “Sober for Good” and “Inside Rehab.” Anne felt the need to write “Inside Rehab” after consulting with several experts, one of which posited that people usually spend more time picking out their next vacuum cleaner than they would finding the right addiction treatment facility. Driven by the notions that treatment should help people avoid hitting rock bottom and that their treatment should emphasize the benefits of sobriety over the pitfalls of addiction, she spent 4 years studying 15 different treatment centers across the country to see what was working and what wasn’t working for their patients. She was somewhat shocked to discover that most inpatient and outpatient treatment facilities heavily employ group-based treatment, 12-step methods such as AA, and counselors without medical or psychological expertise in their limited one-on-one sessions. As she expected, she heard stories of programs that worked for some people and not others, helpful and hurtful methods, and discrepancies between quality and cost. In fact, one of the facilities she studied had an on-site barber shop, cafeteria, radio station, and college level educational courses to help equip their patients with transferable skills that they could use to get a job after their treatment was concluded. Overall, Anne sees a lot of hope and opportunity in the future of addiction treatment facilities if they treat each patient as an individual and personalize their treatment to their background and situation, keeping in mind that therapeutic alliance between the patient and therapist is crucial to the patient’s recovery and success. She hopes to continue to see alternative methods to AA popping up across the country, because AA’s process does not work for everyone, but a vast majority of treatment programs rely on it to help their patients. She is a firm believer that treatment centers will change certain things that may not be working if consumers express their concerns and desires. Anne’s advice to those who may need addiction treatment is to start by receiving an assessment from an individual therapist who is not associated with a treatment center. They will be able to give you their professional opinion about what kind of treatment you might need and can point you in the right direction. Also, keep in mind that inpatient treatment is not always the most effective unless the patient is in danger of self-harm or needs a period of detox. Be persistent in finding the right treatment for you; you are not alone, and you do not have to continue to live with this substance use disorder. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
38min | Published on September 21, 2018