Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Welcome to the Gen Z Shift, a podcast decoding Generation Z and Generation Alpha for leaders, brands, and changemakers. Based on the research and articles of Benoit van Kouwenberg, a European expert on Generation Z, Generation Alpha, and brand culture, each episode helps you understand the generations reshaping how we work, consume, connect, and live. Because the future isn't coming, it's already here. And today we're doing a deep dive into a really fascinating contradiction in the sociological data.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, it's a pretty massive one, honestly.

• Speaker #0

  Right, because, you know, Gen Z grew up with dating apps literally in their pockets. They have way fewer sexual taboos than past generations.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, absolutely.

• Speaker #0

  So you'd think, logically, they'd be having a ton of casual sex.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  But the numbers show they're actually having significantly less. So why is that? Okay, let's unpack this.

• Speaker #1

  Well, to really get to the bottom of this paradox, we're looking at a pretty robust stack of sources today.

• Speaker #0

  Awesome. What do we have?

• Speaker #1

  We've got a 2025 Times study on Gen Z. And a massive 2024 survey from IND, the French Demographic Research Institute.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, really?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And that one surveyed over 10,000 French youth. We're also pulling from a 2026 IFOP study and a few major academic reviews on the psychology of casual sex.

• Speaker #0

  Perfect. So let's start right at the center of this contradiction, because the numbers show a huge drop in casual sex. And I think, well, the easy assumption is that Gen Z is just becoming. Super conservative or, I don't know, prudish.

• Speaker #1

  Right. The whole return to traditionalism narrative, you see it a lot, but the data completely contradicts that.

• Speaker #0

  So it's not a moral panic?

• Speaker #1

  No, not at all. Let's look at the 2025 time study. They asked young adults if their friends commonly had one night stands.

• Speaker #0

  Okay.

• Speaker #1

  And 20 years ago, a massive 78% said yes.

• Speaker #0

  Wow. 78%.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, but today, only 23% of 18 to 27 year olds say the same thing.

• Speaker #0

  From 78 down to 23, that is just, I mean, that's a structural shift for an entire generation.

• Speaker #1

  It really is.

• Speaker #0

  Looking at that drop, it feels a bit like walking into what you thought was going to be a wild college frat party.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Like, you're expecting loud music, total chaos, and you open the door, and everyone's just sitting around having a highly nuanced discussion about emotional boundaries.

• Speaker #1

  That is exactly what it feels like. And what's fascinating here is that Gen Z is absolutely not becoming conservative.

• Speaker #0

  Right.

• Speaker #1

  The 2026 IAF fail study. which looked at over a thousand French youth, proves this. It shows that sex and relationships are still incredibly important to them.

• Speaker #0

  It's just happening within a totally different cultural framework.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. We're talking about unprecedented openness around things like gender identity, enthusiastic consent, and even non-monogamy.

• Speaker #0

  So their openness to sex and their actual hookup behavior are basically moving in two completely different directions.

• Speaker #1

  Yes. But we also have to be clear. The one night stand isn't totally dead.

• Speaker #0

  Right. The I.N.E. data shows that, doesn't it?

• Speaker #1

  It does. Out of those 10,000 young adults, 21 percent still had a one night stand in the past year.

• Speaker #0

  OK, so about a fifth of them.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And another 15 percent had some type of ongoing non-couple relationship, you know, like a sex friend or a hookup.

• Speaker #0

  So a good chunk is still doing it. It just doesn't scream Victorian morality at all.

• Speaker #1

  Not at all. It just means the cultural footprint of a one night stand has shrunk.

• Speaker #0

  OK, so if it's not a moral awakening. Why the massive drop? Where did the spontaneity go?

• Speaker #1

  Well, it comes down to something incredibly practical changing social habits.

• Speaker #0

  Like what?

• Speaker #1

  There's this brilliant longitudinal study by sociologists South and Lay from 2021. And they found that for young women, just a measurable decline in alcohol consumption explains about 25% of the total drop in casual sex.

• Speaker #0

  Wait, hold on. I'm going to push back on that. Sure. You're telling me it's not a complex psychological evolution? They literally just aren't drinking as much.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Is the decline in hookups just a side effect of a wellness trend?

• Speaker #1

  Honestly, yes. I mean, the sociology strongly suggests that when the environment changes, the behavior changes immediately.

• Speaker #0

  And what about for young men?

• Speaker #1

  For men, it's a mix of drinking less, a huge increase in computer gaming, and a much higher likelihood of living with their parents.

• Speaker #0

  Because of the economy.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. So the cultural shift is really moving away from third spaces. You know, clubs, late night bars, places that require you to be out late and drinking.

• Speaker #0

  Right, because if you're living with your parents and not drinking, you don't really have anywhere private to go.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. The avenues for that spontaneous socialization are just shrinking.

• Speaker #0

  That makes total sense. I remember the Times follow-up piece had this anecdote that just perfectly captured it.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, the runner.

• Speaker #0

  Yes. This young woman noted that she vastly prefers doing a local park run, getting brunch, and prioritizing sleep over traditional nightlife. She'd just rather wake up early for a 5K run.

• Speaker #1

  And while that's anecdotal, it perfectly illustrates the broader sociological context. If you aren't going to clubs, the spontaneous encounters required for casual sex naturally shrink.

• Speaker #0

  But wait, if they are staying home, shouldn't dating apps be filling that exact gap?

• Speaker #1

  You would think so.

• Speaker #0

  I mean, they have hundreds of potential partners just sitting in their pockets.

• Speaker #1

  They do, but this is where we hit the paradox of infinite choice. They have access to more partners than any generation in history, but sexual activity hasn't spiked.

• Speaker #0

  Because having infinite options doesn't actually make it easier.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. Research shows that while app users do have a stronger short-term mating orientation, they also still want long-term relationships.

• Speaker #0

  So they want it all.

• Speaker #1

  Right. But the infinite choice actually breeds extreme selectivity. The swipe basically turned intimacy into this grueling filtering exercise.

• Speaker #0

  That causes so much hesitation. It's totally like menu fatigue.

• Speaker #1

  Menu fatigue.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, like when you open Netflix on a Friday night.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, right.

• Speaker #0

  You have thousands of movies, but you get completely overwhelmed scrolling for 45 minutes trying to pick the absolute perfect one. And eventually you just turn off the TV and go to sleep.

• Speaker #1

  That is a perfect analogy. The logic of the digital tool itself just exhausts the user. It leads to massive dating app fatigue.

• Speaker #0

  And the numbers reflect that, right?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. The INED data shows apps were involved in 21% of one night stands, but only 11% of couple relationships.

• Speaker #0

  So apps matter, but they haven't created a permanent hookup generation.

• Speaker #1

  No, because it's just too exhausting to sustain.

• Speaker #0

  So if casual sex is exhausting and apps are giving them menu fatigue, what do they actually want?

• Speaker #1

  Stability. We're seeing a surprising resurgence in relationship stability.

• Speaker #0

  Really? Even in their 20s?

• Speaker #1

  Yes. The IND data shows that couples are still the dominant intimate relationship. 66% had been in a couple in the last 12 months.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, wow. And are they happy?

• Speaker #1

  Very. 77% of those in couples said they were very much in love, whereas 65% of the people having one-night stands explicitly said they were not at all in love.

• Speaker #0

  So they were incredibly clear on their emotional boundaries.

• Speaker #1

  Extremely clear. But the really shocking stat comes from the Times study on marriage. Almost two-thirds of the young adults surveyed consider marriage to be an important institution.

• Speaker #0

  Wait, two-thirds?

• Speaker #1

  Yes. Only about 20% see it as irrelevant. And just to give you some context, 20 years ago, almost 40% thought it was irrelevant.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, hold on. I have to challenge this. Almost two-thirds value marriage.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Does this mean Gen Z secretly wants to recreate the 1950s nuclear family with, you know, traditional gender roles?

• Speaker #1

  No, definitely not. If we connect this to the bigger picture. Valuing commitment does not equal supporting traditional gender roles.

• Speaker #0

  Okay. Unpack that for me.

• Speaker #1

  They want absolute equality within the marriage. And they are very tolerant of alternative choices, like non-monogamy, for other people.

• Speaker #0

  Right.

• Speaker #1

  The institution is attractive, but they've completely rewritten the rules. And it's driven by a desperate need for clarity.

• Speaker #0

  Because the world is so chaotic.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. Work, housing, tech, politics. It is all incredibly unstable. So in that environment, emotional certainty becomes a highly valuable asset.

• Speaker #0

  Well, it's a survival mechanism. It's not tradition. It's intentionality.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. Which means we have to completely redefine our concept of sexual freedom for this generation.

• Speaker #0

  Because they're highly fluent in things like consent and boundaries, right?

• Speaker #1

  Oh, completely. They are experts in gender identity, setting boundaries and spotting red flags. And the academic reviews back this up.

• Speaker #0

  Like the Ausha study.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, the review of 71 studies by Ausha and colleagues in 2020. They found that casual sex is generally evaluated more positively than negatively.

• Speaker #0

  So they don't hate casual sex.

• Speaker #1

  No. But it depends heavily on the specific context, like the person's motivation, how much alcohol was involved, and how well they actually know the partner.

• Speaker #0

  That makes sense.

• Speaker #1

  And that's echoed in a 2026 international study by Sajia Glu and Dick. It showed that regret isn't tied to moral shame.

• Speaker #0

  What is it tied to?

• Speaker #1

  It's tied to the quality of the experience, their level of autonomy, and their intoxication.

• Speaker #0

  So they aren't less sexual. They are just way more demanding.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. They demand better conditions for sex to feel worthwhile.

• Speaker #0

  So to put it simply, for millennials, sexual freedom meant tearing down the fences and escaping all the restrictive rules, right? Right. But for Gen Z, freedom is having the autonomy to carefully choose which pasture they actually want to graze in.

• Speaker #1

  I love that analogy. Yes, that is perfectly stated. Generations don't move in clean pendulums. Freedom now means intentionality.

• Speaker #0

  Whether that's a one night stand, a sex friend or just staying home.

• Speaker #1

  Or nothing at all. Deciding a hookup isn't worth the effort is a valid expression of their freedom.

• Speaker #0

  Because they know they can order whatever they want from the digital menu, but they're only going to do it if it meets their exact specifications.

• Speaker #1

  Exactly. And, you know, there's one final thought built on the source material that we haven't touched on yet.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, what's that?

• Speaker #1

  If economic and political instability continues and emotional clarity is what Gen Z is seeking to combat it, we really have to wonder something.

• Speaker #0

  OK, I'm listening.

• Speaker #1

  In the future, will having a stable, committed relationship become the ultimate cultural status symbol, like an actual luxury good in a chaotic world?

• Speaker #0

  Oh, wow. A stable relationship as a luxury good. That is an amazing point to end this deep dive on. And it's so true. What about you? Has the chaos of the last few years made you crave clarity in your own relationships, or do you find the endless digital options more liberating? Think about that next time you open a dating app or, you know, just scroll Netflix. 3X for listening to the Gen Z shift audio.