Being Your Authentic Self | The Pulse

Description

What You’ll Learn:

How to embrace authenticity in the workplace without fear.
Why corporate culture can challenge your true self—and how to navigate it.
The importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.
How to handle feedback and criticism with confidence and grace.

Why It Matters: Authenticity at work isn’t just about being yourself—it’s about thriving in an environment that often demands conformity. In this episode, Julie sits down with her longtime friend Rhys, who shares his journey of navigating corporate life across multiple countries while staying true to himself. From dealing with direct feedback in Germany to embracing change and letting go of toxic relationships, Rhys' insights will inspire you to show up as your best self—both professionally and personally.

CTA: "Tag someone who needs to hear this! What’s one way you stay authentic at work? Share in the comments!"

Timestamps:

05:45: Rhys’ Career Journey—From Germany to New Zealand
12:30: What Does Authenticity at Work Mean?
20:10: Handling Feedback and Criticism
28:00: The Power of Letting Go and Embracing Change
35:45: Rhys’ Challenge: Show Up with a Smile

Thank you for being a part of "The Pulse" community. Together, let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace. Stay tuned for more episodes that inspire, inform, and empower you to live with heart and resilience.

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My Website: www.juliehalbert.com

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the host and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities represented or any other individuals associated with the podcast. The content provided is based on personal experiences and perspectives and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. Listeners are encouraged to form their own opinions and seek professional advice tailored to their specific circumstances.

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Every two weeks, I will bring you a regular dose of inspiration, practical tips, and regular stories about personal development, wellness, and career growth. Whether you're looking for motivation, fresh perspective, or just a reminder that you're not alone, you are in the right place. So welcome and let's dive in. Hi, welcome to the both. I'm Julie, your host. And today, this is our first guest episode. So I'm very happy to have one of my closest friends here today on the podcast. So hi, Reese. Thank you so much for joining. And I would love to start. right away by having you present yourself to the audience.
Speaker #1
My name is Rhys. I live in New Zealand, but Julie and I met way back when in Germany. I remember the moment actually we became friends.
Speaker #0
Yes, me too.
Speaker #1
Way back in 2013. Yeah, Julie and I lived in Germany for six years. We worked in the same company and we were friends outside of work. I then moved to New Zealand. years but julie and i kept in touch uh since since then so it's about 13 13 years now so yeah all the ups and downs personal professional yeah we do lean on each other sometimes just for some you know advice or emotional support or whatever it might be always just kind of a an ear or shoulder here to listen or a shoulder definitely exactly
Speaker #0
Yeah, it's been already 13 years and I've learned a lot from you, I think, in my life. And as you said, we've been definitely there for each other, supporting each other to the ups and down, also cheering each other career wise, I would say. So I'm so happy to have you as my first guest, also supporting me in this journey, in creating the podcast and making it easier for me as well to do this for the first time, having someone that I know I can. feel relaxed let's put it that way so thank you so much for this just stop and yes i have to i have to stop laughing serious right we are serious on this podcast it's all about growth and gross serious topic no but overall today what we wanted to talk about is about being our authentic self in the workplace and in life in general but also in the workplace in that context and before we go into details i wanted to hear a little bit About your career journey and about what have you gone through all throughout your now? How many years of career is that for you?
Speaker #1
21 years.
Speaker #0
Wow. I guess.
Speaker #1
Probably different levels of professional. Yeah, probably my specific career, my career path has been about 14, 15.
Speaker #0
Yeah, right. Started. I think we all have, you know, when we are a student, those. student jobs or like the one that we start a bit earlier on but this kind of main career path starts right out of uni in some ways so a bit later and you've said already prior that you've lived in germany um i think it would be definitely good also to to hear the different roles or the different part of where you've gone through in germany you don't have to go through a lot of of details but How did you make it also from Germany to New Zealand, right? Tell us a little bit about that from a curious standpoint.
Speaker #1
Oh, gosh. It makes me remember way back when I was a little boy and I was about two years old. I used to crawl out of the crib and I used to run down the street and go wait on the doorstep of our neighbors for them to let me in and feed me breakfast. It's so bad. Or I'd go downstairs and I'd eat butter. I've always been someone who just kind of gets something in his head. has a goal and goes for it and makes it happen. So I think for me, I've actually lived in a few countries. So I've lived in Germany for the longest period outside of New Zealand now, but I lived in the UK. I lived in Denmark. I lived in the Netherlands. I lived in the Greek Islands various months, years for different reasons, whether it's work or education or for fun. Oh, Bali also. And I think I just kind of get something in my head, but just go for it. I think we can get to this a little later around fear and confidence and stuff. But in terms of my career journey, it's always been relatively in marketing, whether it's straight up marketing, whether you're doing campaigns, for example, strategy, or you're doing things like a subset of marketing, so like retail marketing. communications, whether it's internal or external communications, it all has something to do kind of a little bit with storytelling and marketing in different various formats. So that's been pretty much my career the whole time. Yeah, my journey has been definitely up and down. I'm sure everyone's has. I think what comes with living abroad and making these big bold moves is you tend to enter into these different positions or companies or industries or countries and everything is different. There's no one set kind of rule or pattern to when you're moving from one job to the next or different companies or different industries. And so you really have to kind of get in and understand what's the culture like? Who are these people? What's the actual job asking you to do? And I think sometimes I've definitely failed. I think sometimes I was like, oh, I really want to do this. And I realized that it actually wasn't really for me. My skillset didn't really match very well. And I think you always really want to try hard and kind of do your best. potentially be a perfectionist or do really well, whatever that is, whatever your goal is. And sometimes you stay too long. And sometimes you realize actually people, you have your own choice, whether you're going to leave on your own, or sometimes people make those choices for you. And I think the best and most successful roles I've had are ones that really fit my skill set. Really, I work with really amazing people. The culture is really good. The work is challenging, really able to add value in areas where I feel that I thought I could do something really well. I probably didn't do as well as I could have, but I think there's a lot of factors that play into any kind of role or any kind of career choice that you make. And no one's ever perfect. No one ever succeeds a hundred percent in every role they do. So I think having a bit of grace for yourself and getting from one place to the next, wherever that goal may be, I think you need to find that strike that balance between what you want, the goals, the career, and then also just, yes, something so hard on yourself, you know?
Speaker #0
This is why I also wanted to have you on the podcast, and I'm sure we could have more topics to talk about. So maybe we'll dive some more, because you've experienced so many countries, so many cultures, so many different environments. You've changed jobs, even if you stayed in the same field. So you've viewed different parts of it, and you had to adapt, and you had to learn the ways, the ins and outs, what you could do, what you couldn't do. really it's a full adaptation journey for you and I'm very impressed with how you've gone through it and so today I know we have to focus on authenticity but it's definitely something that I would also love to to talk further with you on this topic of adaptability and flexibility but I think it's also balanced quite well with what it means to be authentic and how to be authentic in the workplace when things evolve and things get so different from one place to the others and how do you adapt to it is is a component so what i would love to hear from you is what does being authentic at work means to you what what does it mean for you to be your authentic self at work basically yeah
Speaker #1
i think that i think i'm probably just taking a step back first is to you really need to think and be self-actualized and to understand what... what is your authentic self for you? Because there is no one size fits all. So you need to kind of sit down and go, who do I want to be? What do I actually, who am I as a person? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What can I bring to a job? What can I bring to my personal life, good and bad? And you just really need to understand, you know, the pros about yourself and who you want to be. What do you want to exemplify? How do you want to show up? You need to understand what those things are and you need to go for it. You need to... live and breathe whatever those are and on the flip side you also need to recognize that you're not the best at everything you might be really good at something but at the end of the day when you're with a company it's really a when you're in a role in a company you're there to do a job which means you need to be really good and the best at the job that you've been given you don't need to be the best in the company you just need to be best at what you're doing because we paid for the job. right? And so everything else is a bonus. And so when you show up as your authentic self and being the best person that you are, whatever that be, it all kind of falls into place. I think there's always this balance between being your authentic self for yourself and being your authentic self for what's right for the company and for your role. So everyone wears masks regardless. You can't just be 100% your authentic self in your personal life at your job. No one is, right? Like that's. You're not there to be, this is not like your personal fun time. This is not your personal therapy session. This is not your personal anything. Like you are there to go in and do your job, right? I think what for me particularly was there was a... probably a place in my life, in my career that I was like, I need a mindset shift. This is not working for me. I'm not happy in my personal life. I'm not happy in my job. And everything's kind of bleeding into one. And I just need to stop and just really think about what's the right thing for me and who do I want to be? It sounds like you're like a little kid, like who do you want to be when you grow up? It kind of is like that. You kind of go, actually, I want to be happy. I want to add value. I want to stop being negative. I want to stop myself from thinking X, Y, Z. I want to stop being a people pleaser because I've been a people pleaser my whole life until just a little while ago. And when I decide to go, do I care about X, Y, Z, which I typically care about? Do I care about if I said the wrong thing or do I care about this person doesn't like me? I said, actually, I don't care. What I really care about is actually showing up, being challenged, adding value. making as much money as possible for the value that I'm adding, you know, so I can afford the things that I want to do in my personal life, so I can have a good work life balance. And I think that really worked for me, like I just show up every day happy. And I'm more happy in my personal life, confident, whenever any kind of self doubt creeps in, and I go, no, no time for that. You know, I think fear is a really big part of it, which I said earlier, I think, regardless of whatever you do in your life, whether you move countries, whether you pick up a new hobby. a sport or whether you're introverted and then you put into an extroverted position, whether you present to present something to a thousand people or two people, whatever it might be, fear has no place in life for me, because what is the point if you only have one life, for example, what is the point of being scared about something? It's really, really hard to not be scared. And it's really, really hard not to be negative. It's really hard. It's really easy to be those things. And I just think that for me, a challenge is always really important. It helps me grow. I know that you talked about having a growth mindset. It's a really big topic, has been a really big topic in the last little while. And I think that you need to decide what it is that you really want out of life. What is it you want in your career? And you need to remember every day to think, I want this, I'm going to get this. This is what I want. You got to be selfish. so that you can show up for your best version of yourself at work. And everything seemed to fall into place for me. So I'm going to try to keep doing it. It's really hard every day.
Speaker #0
No, it's so interesting what you're saying, because for me, I've been trying to do the same and to be a bit more fearless and not to worry too much about judgment of people. But I feel like it's creeping back in. on a regular basis and it's making me feel like I'm not truly being able to be myself in the in the workplace or I'm very very harshly I have to say also any negative feedback I take it deeply in term of I'm not good enough and so it's important that I'm currently in the journey of working on it because part of growth is to say hey you know what as you mentioned is is really to be your authentic self and to feel like Thank you. okay, I'm going to give my best of who I am in the workplace for that moment, but it's not everything. That's also what I hear from your words. There is life next to it and you're going to give 100% for the job, but you're not going to take everything in or be fearless that if you do something, it's going to automatically have a negative impact if it doesn't fit into whatever someone is thinking or someone's perspective, right? So I think, and... Do you have any techniques to avoid having it coming back in?
Speaker #1
Yeah, there's a few techniques that I think that just, that does work for me. I think one thing that I try to do is I just try to smile. Smile, like, just all the time. I remember I used to do this in my early 20s. And I remember just smiling. I think that it's infectious. I think that you just train yourself and you force yourself to smile. And I think sometimes just people want to be understood. And so I think by smiling in your own time and at work, it does wonders. Another one is kind of relates back to people pleasing. And then also thinking, oh, I said this or I did this. And then you go and you're outside the conversation and you go round and round and round and round in your head. And you cause your own negativity. You cause your own pain. And so what I try to do is I go, if something creeps in, it sounds bad, but I go. doesn't matter doesn't matter it doesn't matter or i go and it's true actually Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? You made one comment or you, I don't know, wrote one sentence that didn't make sense, like whatever it might be at work. It's such a minute little thing in life, a very long life. And also, if you're in a corporate environment, for example, you are one of many. You are one of doing many, many, many projects, many decks, many slides, all the things. People make mistakes. And if you just, if you're human and you're authentic, you kind of get grace with that. If you're an asshole, no one's going to like you. No one's going to appreciate or help you. No one's going to, and people are going to jump on you for when you make mistakes. And it's a little bit of a diversion, but one time in my career, once worked for a company, a great company. And they said, one of the things they said to me, like kind of a private, somewhat senior leader was like, our culture is we don't want to work with assholes. So if you're an asshole, we don't want to work with you. So that's whether it's clients, whether it's people at the job or whatever it is. And those were the best people because everyone was just there and everyone was just happy to be there. And everyone was just like really, really smart, really hardworking. They could take jokes. I think that's a big thing. If you're sensitive, you can't take a joke. Or if you don't have good banter. And I think that's probably what you were saying before as well. Like you just have to strip it away. You have to strip away what people are saying to you because. you're the one who's feeling your your way you're the one who's feeling insecure but i think it's also back to like we were talking about people please before this quote you know around you know this person said on tiktok was like for the people for those people pleasers have you ever stopped and asked yourself do you like the person who you're trying to please because if you don't like them they don't like you what does it matter that's it right so paraphrasing but you know i think when you sit around people um giving you feedback and you're taking it quite partially lately, I think you just need to just go wall up. It does not matter. This does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I care about this? Do I care about this person? Like whatever that, whatever helps you to kind of just regulate, emotionally regulate, because the one thing in a workplace that really does help is when you are in control of your emotions. And if you are in control of your emotions at work and you need to go home and cry about it or whatever it might be, that helps, do it. you do you, right? Your authentic self. I think it's probably what I'm getting at. I'm meandering, but you do you, what is right for you? Be who you are and what you want to be. And I'm not saying you're this person, but someone at this other company, if they're an asshole, be an asshole. No one's going to like you or no one's, you're not going to work with people really well. You're not going to be able to collaborate. You're probably not going to stay for very long because you're an asshole. So let them be an asshole. You know, focus on yourself. Someone's coming at you and saying something and
Speaker #0
constructive way or as being direct or whatever it is you're just gonna go thank you very much thank you appreciate it yeah and it's it's a very it's a very good point and talking about you know this positivity around you know you have to have a good banter you have to be positive etc have you seen a difference depending on all the countries you lived where from companies to companies or from country to country the culture was different around that because from my perspective Thank you. being mainly my career has been mainly in Germany I do feel like I have depending also on the people I worked with sometimes I worked with very international teams sometimes teams that were more German and depending on the teams I've had moments where I could have this more banter this more like chill environment and some other moments where it felt very much all about how can we improve how can we be better and always giving that feedback where There is improvement, which on one end allow you for growth and allow you to get better. But on the other side can become very, very heavy. And some time can really take you down because you just hear the negative. If out of a, you know, one hour meeting, you've done 50, like 58 minutes of good and two minutes where you mess up slightly because there was a, I don't know, a missing on the slide or whatever. And this is the only thing that is pointed out to you over time. it starts to take a toll on you, I would say. And this is, I had the case before when it's taken a toll on me. And unfortunately, I feel sometimes I don't hear enough of the positive. So also myself, now I make the effort when I give feedback to people to also give them the positive feedback. And sometimes I even do sessions fully focused on the positive. And I even have to mention because one of my colleagues gave me an amazing feedback, a very positive feedback that I was inspiring to him. Before I went on holiday, which was very, very good to hear and made me feel amazing. But then I realized sometimes within the year, I don't hear enough positive. Not because the company and the people are not great and positive and good people and they're not assholes at all. It's more that. They are just focused so much on improving that they focus on giving you the negative feedback for you to grow. And I feel like sometimes it has the revert effect. So I would love to hear if you feel it has had an impact depending on the country you've worked in and the culture on that topic.
Speaker #1
Yeah, I can resonate with Germany, obviously, because we worked there together. There's a few things in what you had said, I think. One main thing is not every leader is going to be a good leader. Not every leader is going to give you good feedback for whatever reason, either they're too busy, they're not good people, people, leaders, they're good at their job, but you also have to recognize that not everyone is the same way. So I think if you do see your leader giving praise, other people, not you, I think that's a different story. But in general, I think, I think when you, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta do. It's hard to say. You got to do your job for you. Your career is about your career. If you're, you might have a good manager who's giving you praise and that's great. That's, that's more rare actually than you would think. But if you're not getting what you need from your manager in terms of praise, you've just got to tell yourself what you're doing is a good job because it's about you. It's not about them. And I think relying on others and having expectations of others to do things in the way that you want to do or that you need, you're never going to get what you want. You're going to always be disappointed. And that's also one thing I kind of recently kind of decided to change was stop expecting things from people. If you want to have something or expect something, do it yourself. Or don't care. Just let it go. I don't know. It's easier to say than to actually do. I know. Going back to working in Germany, naturally, the German language, I learned it. You've learned it. It is black and white. It is direct. And so when it comes to translating. from German to English, the fact is it's going to be direct. And so I think, I don't know if that's what you were kind of referring to in terms of sometimes the communication be quite direct and take it to heart more, or if it's actually the actual content, I don't know, the actual content and giving you your feedback is not enough praise, probably maybe a balance of both. But I'd say Germany is a hard place to work if you're not German, which is just different. That's all. I don't think I need anything biased. My own personal experience, I've gotten praise. I've gotten direct feedback. And I think at the time, it's been a few years now, but I think there's been times where I've had really, a really bad leader who said pretty terrible things to me. So I think that was one case. But then I had a really amazing, two really amazing people who were really positive and really gave me feedback. One was like really tough love, but I respected that. The other one was like really...
Speaker #0
you know giving praise and shouting my praise and wouldn't give me would really give me like negative feedback so like it really just depends it's not a one-size-fits-all not and i fully agree with you and nowhere me trying to say that is automatically just the german culture because i also have to say that i don't think it's only german i would also consider the french culture to be very more the glass half empty that half full and so looking more at the negative and i I think. Germans are the same, and it's maybe more of a European culture. I mean, European, maybe also in the Nordic countries, I would say it's potentially similar. So those also potentially can impact some ways of how this is communicated. But I also have had some amazing German leaders, have had some that were more difficult. I have some stories also, some very harsh one. So it's not automatically related directly to the... to the country and I know it's more focused on the person, but sometimes as you mentioned, the way potentially it's said because of the directness of the translation, we're talking about international companies that have people speaking multiple languages. So the way they express themselves, even me at the end of the day, I'm French first, right? So even English technically is my second language. So potentially sometimes the way I speak might be differently interpreted by someone who is. German or even American or English, whomever and wherever they're coming from. But that potentially this diversity and this melting pot, because people are speaking, coming from a different culture standpoint, can impact the way you interpret it and can potentially have that negative effect if you're already someone that is sensitive, I would say, to this type of thing. So I think this is... Definitely a one-on-one case scenarios. But as you mentioned, we have to take care of it ourselves. It's on our own hands to take care of it and to say, hey, you know what, I'm going to focus on me. I will listen. I think one of my leaders also said to me, you decide if you keep the feedback or if you just let it pass by. You don't have to take every feedback. And that is definitely a fair point. I have to say that I'm still in the middle. It comes in. It doesn't come out right away, unfortunately. So I just... Yeah, but it's, I think this impacts this authenticity feeling because you feel judged. And when you stop that judgment, that's where you can feel I can be myself the way I want to be, right?
Speaker #1
Yeah, and I think there's always, everything is interconnected in roles and whether you're corporate or a smaller company, meaning that when it comes time to give you feedback, whether it's on a regular basis or whether it's... to your bonus or whatever it is from an HR admin standpoint, they have to give you something. They have to give you positive. They have to give you negative, whatever you want to call it, things to work on because at the end of the day, it's also financial. So you're never going to get a positive feedback 100% that you get 200% bonus, for example, if you're in that particular case. So there's always reasons why. And so that's why I feel like don't take things personally. Because there's always a reason why you're getting feedback, whether it's because that person wants to give you feedback, whether they have to give you feedback, or whether it's, you know, also just tied to the company guidelines that the leader is told by HR to do this or do that, you know, so that's why it doesn't matter. Nothing is really real in the end. And it's only one little small little piece in life, tiny. So that's why if someone gives you negative feedback or something to work on, take and go. Thank you. I appreciate that. go on your own time, reflect on it and go, do I agree with this? Or do I don't agree with this? Do I not agree with this? And you decide, yeah, then you've got to make a game plan. You got to show up differently. If you're like, actually, and be really honest with yourself, right? Don't be like, you know, F this person. I'm not going to listen to them. That's not, that's not being authentic, right? You got to go, this person has told me this, strip the emotion away. This person has told me this, do I agree with it or not? And you got to make your case, your internal case to go, yes, no. No, I don't. Yes. Okay. I'm going to make a change. It's all about you. At the end of the day, you're the, if you're the one who's driving your own career, you're the one who is, has feared insecure. You're the one who, not you, but you're the one who is confident. You're like, you're the one who's self-doubt. Like all the things that are inside you are you, no one else. No one's thinking about you. Someone told me that actually once in a harsh context, but like, stop thinking about the conversation you've had. because no one's thinking about you. No one's, that person's not thinking about the conversation you're having. They're at home having fun or doing whatever, but who cares? You're the one who's stewing and who's like creating a story. So why are you giving that person this whatever negative conversation? Why are you giving that person any more energy or time? Conserve your energy and time for yourself. It's really hard.
Speaker #0
That's hard, but I think it's a very, it's a very good point, right? At the end of the day, it's about you and there is a bit of... selfishness but it's important to have that selfishness and that element of like okay the same way as other people don't think about you after you shouldn't think about the same conversation after as well and just move on and decide what you want for you for your life and how you want to show up and who you want to be in that environment and in general in life and what's important to you right i think sometimes it's difficult because you can get so many information from social media, from your colleague, from things that can influence you in term of, or maybe it could be interesting to go a certain direction or to go another one, but you have to always constantly recenter back to who am I and what do I want for me? And potentially what I want for me is not what other people want for me as well, but also what other people want for themselves. It's not one size fits all. We are all individuals and we all have our own paths, right? But Do you think that being in a corporate environment, having this mentality is sometimes kind of going against what a corporation is expecting of you? Because very often I do feel like people expect you to be fully dedicated to a corporation, to stay within the corporation. And I do understand that mindset, you know, that people want to keep great people, right? They want to keep people in, they want to keep... the one that are delivering. But at the same time, this can sometimes impact that if you decide to do something outside or if you decide to not do the career path that is expected of you, that might make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can give you a few examples. I had the case once that I went for a certain job and someone told me, now I don't get your career path. And in a way, a leader was telling me this in a way kind of like, what are you doing with your career it's like you're messing up and i do understand that from that person's perspective yes based on what they wanted from me it makes sense but what they wanted from me and what i wanted was not the same thing and this is where it became a bit tense also for me because I felt very uncomfortable in terms of am I messing up am I doing making the wrong decision and in a way you know doing this podcast some people telling me maybe you should stop because you should focus on other things and I'm not doing this during work hours I'm doing things fully outside for myself it's a hobby but it's something that is inspiring to me but some people view it as like conflicting with corporate which for me has zero conflict And so that's, again, challenging me in terms of people from the workplace are judging me from doing something related to work, related to career, but not during my work time, completely separate. And that is like potentially a conflict for my corporate job that I currently have and my career path overall. I've heard before, Julia, you look at your LinkedIn profile, I don't understand you. And it's very tough sometimes. Because it's me being authentic. It's my choices based on what I want and based on what feels good. But at the same time, getting those feedback are challenging me sometimes to think, am I doing the right thing? And I think I am for my own, but it's really challenging the status quo and my overall feeling about it. So I would love to hear your take on this.
Speaker #1
Yes, an interesting one. I had a recruiter one time tell me that. My career path didn't make sense for that job that I was applying for. But she was specifically talking about the job titles. It was for digital marketing manager. And my job titles didn't say digital, But I had digital marketing experience in my actual jobs within what I actually did, my responsibilities. So I thought it was really interesting. And I was like, you know what? I think you're wrong. So I went out and I did a digital marketing diploma. And I did that at my own time. And then I add that to my resume. Okay. emailing them back and said, hey, why didn't I let you know that I got a digital marketing diploma? Thanks for your feedback. It was like way back when, it was like years ago. But I think, don't let anyone tell you what you should do. And I think you are right that it is a little bit, you're in a bit of a rock and a hard place because you do work for a corporate organization. And if they have policies around that, or if they have an issue with that, then that's something you need to decide for yourself. because you need to decide whether it's a company that you want to work for, if they have those policies, if that's something that makes you happy. Not just you specifically, I'm just saying in general. If there's conflicting, you know, views, viewpoints around what's allowed, what's not allowed, or personal time, or whatever, then that's something you need to really think about what you want for yourself again. Your specific topic around this podcast, I agree, it's also your own personal time. I think also that you have to be quite conscious of what you're actually saying. You know, you actually do work for a company and myself as well. I'm never going to talk about, you know, my specific company, my specific roles, just generically, right? And I would say that a lot of people are jealous. A lot of people are fearful and they don't think that they would have the guts to do what you're doing. So they come from a place of negativity. They come from a place of fear. jealousy, whatever that might be. And they don't want to see you succeed. And if they think that you're saying something without your podcast is talking about something that might be conflicting with your job, they should take a listen and then decide for themselves, but also like, stop judging. Like, and you just do you, Julie, honestly, tell them to F off. Or no, you just say, actually, you know what you're saying? Let me say, Hey, thanks so much. I appreciate your feedback, but it really makes me happy. And I do my personal time, but see ya. You know, like don't give people time and energy who don't fit into your life and your ethos and your aura or like whatever it is, right? And I think that's also we need to decide as well in terms of a mindset shift and being positive and have a positive outlook in life. Strip away the toxic people in your life that don't add value. That's it. You know, I had to do that as well recently. We're just like, you know what? I'm thinking about these people. I'm always the one who's reaching out to them and checking in on them. I'm just going to stop. reach out to them and see what happens. Never heard from them in three years. I was just going to finish off and just say like noise, there's lots of noise out there, whether it's social media, whether it's people at work, there's always a motive. There's always a reason that it's just like, strip it away, go away, you know, strip away the noise, strip away the toxicity, focus on you, focus on your path and do what you want to do.
Speaker #0
And I think it's a, yeah, exactly what you said. No, but it's a very good point. And I just want to say that I have to say that within my colleagues and my bosses, and they've all said positive things, so nothing negative from their side. But I've heard sometimes some people that I used to work with or some people that I work with more far away that have made comments in terms of, Julie, you're so busy, you should just stop this piece. And then take more time to chill. It's not coming automatically from a bad way because I also have said before, I don't sleep enough, I don't take care of myself enough. And their mindset is to say, then stop this. And it's always this topic. So it's not coming so far from a place of negativity. I've had also some colleagues have said some very nice words, but the constant message that I've gotten from some people is to say, stop this to give more time to you. And I've... keep on telling them yet but this brings me joy this is my creative outlets this actually brings me this positive and extra energy in a way you know so this is something i don't want to stop so so far i've had not received that specific type of feedback from colleagues but i know that for some people as soon as you start doing something outside of the corporate and we'll do an episode specifically in regards to having a side hustle it's In some countries, it's well accepted. In some others, it's less accepted. In some corporations, of course, you have to be aware, no matter the corporation, that you shouldn't do a job that is linked outside, that is linked to your job in the company because this is a conflict of interest. That's for sure. But there is a lot of opportunity or things that you can do outside and that doesn't mean you're not fully committed to a corporation. But I've heard so many times from some people and I've seen also online. Some people mentioning the fact of like, oh, yes, someone doing outside, at some point they leave to do that job full time. And we are in a new generation. We're in a new setup. I do believe that it's not automatically a one-time-suit-all. That doesn't mean that something outside means being completely gone from corporation worlds. But also, I do believe that it's okay to be different and not to automatically want. the corporate ladder or you don't automatically want to be in a certain role that people want you to go or direction that people want you to go as mentioned this is also what happened to me right people wanted me to go a certain direction i said no and some accepted it and some didn't and i think it's important then in that context to say okay maybe the people that don't accept it either they change their mind and i'm happy to have them still around or they don't change their mind and i have to let them go. I thanked them for the time that they supported me but now it's not the same phase anymore. It doesn't fit anymore. And I think that's okay. But this is a difficult process. I think that we all have to experience in our own time, but we also have to accept and that can break some bond, that can break some network, some friendships, because we're not only talking about career, but also we can talk about personal life in that context. But it's a hard... moment to to let go and to define my circle is evolving with me evolving and remaining me as i grow potentially a direction that nobody expected me to go to right yeah a
Speaker #1
couple things i was going to say on that was um you've always been very busy you always do a lot i've already told you like stop doing this stop doing this is way too much you know but I listened to one of your episodes and you talked about, I can't remember the topic. I think maybe it was the first one. It was around, you know, like you don't really want to sit on the couch and, you know, not do anything. You want to go do stuff. And it's totally fine if you want to go do stuff. It's also totally fine if you want to sit on the couch and not do anything. I think you've always been someone who wants to take up new hobbies and learn new things. And I think it's personal growth. I think that was the topic. I appreciate that about you. I think that I can resonate with that as well to go, I want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. I will do that. And I think I also have a guilt streak that I should be going and doing stuff. But I think I've come to a place in my life where for me, I think recharging and having me time is quite important to be able to go out and be the best version of myself. And also, you know, like, as you mentioned, social media and stuff and or LinkedIn or like whatever it is, you see all these people that you think you should be doing things. You feel pressured that you should be doing things as other people are doing things, right? Like content is curated. And also, why does it matter? Just do whatever you want to do and stop looking at other people to think that you should be doing something more. It just, it's this vicious circle and cycle. None of that helps you to be confident or happy or anything. And I do agree that you do put a lot on your plate, but I think you should just do exactly as you want to do. Because at the end of the day, I think that if it makes you happy, you should do it. That's all it is, right? This podcast makes you happy. Do it. Don't let anyone tell you to. And if it's giving you more energy or like you're tired from it, but it's giving you this, it's like a good tired, do it. If it's taking away from your life, don't do it. I can just do anything that you do in life. It takes away, it sucks out your energy and you don't feel rejuvenated. You know, don't do it. And the other thing I was going to say, one part of what you were saying was around, you know, life for me. And I've said this a few times. I think we've talked about this. Life is about chapters, you know. Some chapters are short. Some friendships are short. Some friendships are long like ours. We have a long chapter.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
I had a very, very long chapter, you know, with one of my best friends from high school. And we're not friends anymore because I think we came to a point. point where we realized or I realized that I was just like we just don't really have a lot in common anymore and we just kind of fell out of touch and we just haven't been in contact anymore so sad you know but at the same time like life as a as a whole book is quite long one massive book of many many chapters so whether you look at it from a job perspective or like a career or whether it's personal friendships relationships whatever it might be you want to have longer chapters that of those good times right but then if those chapters end you just got to go i really appreciate that whole chapter what i was doing or who i was with or friendships or whatever and i'll always look back and fondly but change is inevitable regardless it's got to be okay with change because it's it's coming you can't stop it right yes and so circling back to being your your authentic self, there is no point in... not being who you want to be and showing up the best version of yourself in any situation whether it's for your personal because it'll change anyways life will change chapters will change you just got the only consistent thing in your life is your choice and your yeah your ability to choose who you want to be and to choose how you show that's
Speaker #0
it choice is always with you that's constant sorry yeah and i think it's definitely a good point and very well said right Things are changing around you. But at the end of the day, you decide who you want to be and you decide for you what this means today and how you want to show up each day. So I think it's a very good point. I think we could talk for hours and I think I could keep going on all the topics we've discussed. But I just want to wrap it up on the topic around authenticity because that's our focus. But I'm already buzzing with other topics to talk about. and bring you on further because we already touched on, you know, about wellness, about topics, such as also what makes us recharge. And I think it's very different from one person to the others. And I would love also to do some follow-ups. This is why I keep doing this book. It keeps on buzzing with new topics. A lot more to discuss. One piece that you consider it the most positive element of it. What is the number one thing?
Speaker #1
you have it in mind that's fine just so do you mean like the by showing up authentically in the way that was yeah what has been the number one benefit of doing that yes so they say was it a three i can't remember what it's called but there's three things like the most important things is the hierarchy of needs or whatever it is around your home your career in your personal life or something so i think my career my career has been kind of like this sometimes and so i think and you know when i decided to kind of have a mindset shift a little while back my career has been a lot it's been a lot better i've shown up and just been happy every day at work and then as a result and also like any value in just doing what I'm doing, you know, but that really helped me kind of do well in my career. And as a result, that positively impacted my personal life. So I think right now, even though I'm actually moving out in like three weeks, so my home is a little, but I have a new place. That's good. But I think like I said to my partner as well, a little while back a few months ago, I was like, I'm so happy. Career, personal, home, all of them were in line. And I think... that is probably the number one thing that positive impact that having a mindset shift to be my authentic self you know has done is that it's it's realigned my hierarchy of needs nice yeah yeah it's been good it's hard it's hard to get all those in alignment i don't think i've really ever had that 100 and i think i've and i said to my friends and like family and partner a few months back. but I've definitely am the most happy I've been in my life. And it sounds so cheesy, but everything just kind of fall into place. And the only thing that I can attribute it to. Really just having that mindset shift and, you know, just changing my behaviors. And it has positively impacted my work life, I think.
Speaker #0
That's awesome. That it really kind of brought everything together and created that sense of, it also feels like a sense of calm in the way you're sharing it. Kind of like you're at peace. And that's definitely reflecting, I would say. also in the way you speak in the way you we exchange today so i think it's amazing i'm so happy for you i hope to find that authenticity very soon i think i have it sometime but sometime i go back in the old way so finding that inner peace and finding this this feeling of uh yeah of calmness of being aligned with who i am is something i'm thriving for and i'm sure that many other people are feeling the same as either they are already like you or they are on the journey like me or maybe they are just starting but doesn't matter where where we are it's about trying to move toward this direction if it feels like it's the right time to look into it to take care of that goal but it's a it's very inspiring discussion we had today so thank you so much for
Speaker #1
go ahead yes okay so what i'm what i've been talking about it is not easy i'm not saying that just like one day is like that And that's it. Regardless, everything takes time. You just got to make a choice. Whatever that is, right? So my challenge to you and Julie is start small. For the next three months, Julie, show up to work and have a smile on your face. Actually, just in general, force yourself to smile. Even if you don't feel happy, just do it. And as a result, when you interact with people as well, just be bubbly. Be happy. Fake it. Fake it if you have to. Pretend. I don't care. Do it for three months. See me just start with a, see where it gets to, see where it gets you. Because honestly, what I'm really, what I'm getting at is if you are able to do that, I'm really curious is when you do get feedback from whoever in a month, three months or whatever, in terms of typical reviews or whatever it is, I want to hear their feedback because what is really easy to identify is negativity. And that's really easy for someone to easily grab onto and then go from there. But. when you're positive all the time it's actually not quite hard to find negativity it's weird so i don't know probably my challenge to you is to show up and fake it if you have to because once you start training yourself to do it it kind of becomes part of you weird
Speaker #0
it's a atomic habit you know like i i was reading this book this year we're still in 2025 when we're recording but this will be released in 2026 But in 2025, I read The Atomic Habit. And I said, actually, this is the book of the year for me and really helped me a lot. And I guess this is a habit to put in place and starting showing up every day with a smile on your face. And as you mentioned, also, even if something is hard, still keeping a smile, because I also see it in my personal life. I look at today, I had a moment when I was running and I had a very bad, I was not happy with how I was running for some reason, don't ask. And automatically you could tell I was not happy and you can see it on my face and potentially having the smile even though it's it's not going the way to plan potentially can bring you back a positive mindset for the day so definitely something to try on which I will put as an extra challenge with my very busy life but
Speaker #1
I think this will bring a lot of value overall alternatively take an elastic band put in your wrist every time you have a negative thought go when you're running it's not that way i know that's your that's your plan b your option b let's start with learning if it doesn't work i'll let you know things like positive reinforcements thank
Speaker #0
you so much again and that's a wrap for today's episodes of the pulse If something resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. So drop me a message on Instagram, LinkedIn, or leave a review wherever you're listening. Your feedback fuels this community and I much appreciate it. Make sure to follow The Pulse on your favorite podcast platforms and on social media so you never miss an episode. And if you're craving for more, check out the show notes for links, resources, and ways to connect. Until next time, keep trusting your journey. because course happen one step at a time see you soon bye

About The Pulse

Welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie Halbert, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. As someone who has faced and overcome significant challenges, including beating cancer, I understand the importance of living life with heart and determination.

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

If you enjoy the show, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with others who might find it helpful. Your support means the world to me! You can find more information and get in touch with me on Instragram The Pulse or www.juliehalbert.com

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

What You’ll Learn:

How to embrace authenticity in the workplace without fear.
Why corporate culture can challenge your true self—and how to navigate it.
The importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.
How to handle feedback and criticism with confidence and grace.

CTA: "Tag someone who needs to hear this! What’s one way you stay authentic at work? Share in the comments!"

Timestamps:

05:45: Rhys’ Career Journey—From Germany to New Zealand
12:30: What Does Authenticity at Work Mean?
20:10: Handling Feedback and Criticism
28:00: The Power of Letting Go and Embracing Change
35:45: Rhys’ Challenge: Show Up with a Smile

Follow The Pulse on IG: The Pulse Podcast

My Website: www.juliehalbert.com

Disclaimer:

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Every two weeks, I will bring you a regular dose of inspiration, practical tips, and regular stories about personal development, wellness, and career growth. Whether you're looking for motivation, fresh perspective, or just a reminder that you're not alone, you are in the right place. So welcome and let's dive in. Hi, welcome to the both. I'm Julie, your host. And today, this is our first guest episode. So I'm very happy to have one of my closest friends here today on the podcast. So hi, Reese. Thank you so much for joining. And I would love to start. right away by having you present yourself to the audience.
Speaker #1
My name is Rhys. I live in New Zealand, but Julie and I met way back when in Germany. I remember the moment actually we became friends.
Speaker #0
Yes, me too.
Speaker #1
Way back in 2013. Yeah, Julie and I lived in Germany for six years. We worked in the same company and we were friends outside of work. I then moved to New Zealand. years but julie and i kept in touch uh since since then so it's about 13 13 years now so yeah all the ups and downs personal professional yeah we do lean on each other sometimes just for some you know advice or emotional support or whatever it might be always just kind of a an ear or shoulder here to listen or a shoulder definitely exactly
Speaker #0
Yeah, it's been already 13 years and I've learned a lot from you, I think, in my life. And as you said, we've been definitely there for each other, supporting each other to the ups and down, also cheering each other career wise, I would say. So I'm so happy to have you as my first guest, also supporting me in this journey, in creating the podcast and making it easier for me as well to do this for the first time, having someone that I know I can. feel relaxed let's put it that way so thank you so much for this just stop and yes i have to i have to stop laughing serious right we are serious on this podcast it's all about growth and gross serious topic no but overall today what we wanted to talk about is about being our authentic self in the workplace and in life in general but also in the workplace in that context and before we go into details i wanted to hear a little bit About your career journey and about what have you gone through all throughout your now? How many years of career is that for you?
Speaker #1
21 years.
Speaker #0
Wow. I guess.
Speaker #1
Probably different levels of professional. Yeah, probably my specific career, my career path has been about 14, 15.
Speaker #0
Yeah, right. Started. I think we all have, you know, when we are a student, those. student jobs or like the one that we start a bit earlier on but this kind of main career path starts right out of uni in some ways so a bit later and you've said already prior that you've lived in germany um i think it would be definitely good also to to hear the different roles or the different part of where you've gone through in germany you don't have to go through a lot of of details but How did you make it also from Germany to New Zealand, right? Tell us a little bit about that from a curious standpoint.
Speaker #1
Oh, gosh. It makes me remember way back when I was a little boy and I was about two years old. I used to crawl out of the crib and I used to run down the street and go wait on the doorstep of our neighbors for them to let me in and feed me breakfast. It's so bad. Or I'd go downstairs and I'd eat butter. I've always been someone who just kind of gets something in his head. has a goal and goes for it and makes it happen. So I think for me, I've actually lived in a few countries. So I've lived in Germany for the longest period outside of New Zealand now, but I lived in the UK. I lived in Denmark. I lived in the Netherlands. I lived in the Greek Islands various months, years for different reasons, whether it's work or education or for fun. Oh, Bali also. And I think I just kind of get something in my head, but just go for it. I think we can get to this a little later around fear and confidence and stuff. But in terms of my career journey, it's always been relatively in marketing, whether it's straight up marketing, whether you're doing campaigns, for example, strategy, or you're doing things like a subset of marketing, so like retail marketing. communications, whether it's internal or external communications, it all has something to do kind of a little bit with storytelling and marketing in different various formats. So that's been pretty much my career the whole time. Yeah, my journey has been definitely up and down. I'm sure everyone's has. I think what comes with living abroad and making these big bold moves is you tend to enter into these different positions or companies or industries or countries and everything is different. There's no one set kind of rule or pattern to when you're moving from one job to the next or different companies or different industries. And so you really have to kind of get in and understand what's the culture like? Who are these people? What's the actual job asking you to do? And I think sometimes I've definitely failed. I think sometimes I was like, oh, I really want to do this. And I realized that it actually wasn't really for me. My skillset didn't really match very well. And I think you always really want to try hard and kind of do your best. potentially be a perfectionist or do really well, whatever that is, whatever your goal is. And sometimes you stay too long. And sometimes you realize actually people, you have your own choice, whether you're going to leave on your own, or sometimes people make those choices for you. And I think the best and most successful roles I've had are ones that really fit my skill set. Really, I work with really amazing people. The culture is really good. The work is challenging, really able to add value in areas where I feel that I thought I could do something really well. I probably didn't do as well as I could have, but I think there's a lot of factors that play into any kind of role or any kind of career choice that you make. And no one's ever perfect. No one ever succeeds a hundred percent in every role they do. So I think having a bit of grace for yourself and getting from one place to the next, wherever that goal may be, I think you need to find that strike that balance between what you want, the goals, the career, and then also just, yes, something so hard on yourself, you know?
Speaker #0
This is why I also wanted to have you on the podcast, and I'm sure we could have more topics to talk about. So maybe we'll dive some more, because you've experienced so many countries, so many cultures, so many different environments. You've changed jobs, even if you stayed in the same field. So you've viewed different parts of it, and you had to adapt, and you had to learn the ways, the ins and outs, what you could do, what you couldn't do. really it's a full adaptation journey for you and I'm very impressed with how you've gone through it and so today I know we have to focus on authenticity but it's definitely something that I would also love to to talk further with you on this topic of adaptability and flexibility but I think it's also balanced quite well with what it means to be authentic and how to be authentic in the workplace when things evolve and things get so different from one place to the others and how do you adapt to it is is a component so what i would love to hear from you is what does being authentic at work means to you what what does it mean for you to be your authentic self at work basically yeah
Speaker #1
i think that i think i'm probably just taking a step back first is to you really need to think and be self-actualized and to understand what... what is your authentic self for you? Because there is no one size fits all. So you need to kind of sit down and go, who do I want to be? What do I actually, who am I as a person? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What can I bring to a job? What can I bring to my personal life, good and bad? And you just really need to understand, you know, the pros about yourself and who you want to be. What do you want to exemplify? How do you want to show up? You need to understand what those things are and you need to go for it. You need to... live and breathe whatever those are and on the flip side you also need to recognize that you're not the best at everything you might be really good at something but at the end of the day when you're with a company it's really a when you're in a role in a company you're there to do a job which means you need to be really good and the best at the job that you've been given you don't need to be the best in the company you just need to be best at what you're doing because we paid for the job. right? And so everything else is a bonus. And so when you show up as your authentic self and being the best person that you are, whatever that be, it all kind of falls into place. I think there's always this balance between being your authentic self for yourself and being your authentic self for what's right for the company and for your role. So everyone wears masks regardless. You can't just be 100% your authentic self in your personal life at your job. No one is, right? Like that's. You're not there to be, this is not like your personal fun time. This is not your personal therapy session. This is not your personal anything. Like you are there to go in and do your job, right? I think what for me particularly was there was a... probably a place in my life, in my career that I was like, I need a mindset shift. This is not working for me. I'm not happy in my personal life. I'm not happy in my job. And everything's kind of bleeding into one. And I just need to stop and just really think about what's the right thing for me and who do I want to be? It sounds like you're like a little kid, like who do you want to be when you grow up? It kind of is like that. You kind of go, actually, I want to be happy. I want to add value. I want to stop being negative. I want to stop myself from thinking X, Y, Z. I want to stop being a people pleaser because I've been a people pleaser my whole life until just a little while ago. And when I decide to go, do I care about X, Y, Z, which I typically care about? Do I care about if I said the wrong thing or do I care about this person doesn't like me? I said, actually, I don't care. What I really care about is actually showing up, being challenged, adding value. making as much money as possible for the value that I'm adding, you know, so I can afford the things that I want to do in my personal life, so I can have a good work life balance. And I think that really worked for me, like I just show up every day happy. And I'm more happy in my personal life, confident, whenever any kind of self doubt creeps in, and I go, no, no time for that. You know, I think fear is a really big part of it, which I said earlier, I think, regardless of whatever you do in your life, whether you move countries, whether you pick up a new hobby. a sport or whether you're introverted and then you put into an extroverted position, whether you present to present something to a thousand people or two people, whatever it might be, fear has no place in life for me, because what is the point if you only have one life, for example, what is the point of being scared about something? It's really, really hard to not be scared. And it's really, really hard not to be negative. It's really hard. It's really easy to be those things. And I just think that for me, a challenge is always really important. It helps me grow. I know that you talked about having a growth mindset. It's a really big topic, has been a really big topic in the last little while. And I think that you need to decide what it is that you really want out of life. What is it you want in your career? And you need to remember every day to think, I want this, I'm going to get this. This is what I want. You got to be selfish. so that you can show up for your best version of yourself at work. And everything seemed to fall into place for me. So I'm going to try to keep doing it. It's really hard every day.
Speaker #0
No, it's so interesting what you're saying, because for me, I've been trying to do the same and to be a bit more fearless and not to worry too much about judgment of people. But I feel like it's creeping back in. on a regular basis and it's making me feel like I'm not truly being able to be myself in the in the workplace or I'm very very harshly I have to say also any negative feedback I take it deeply in term of I'm not good enough and so it's important that I'm currently in the journey of working on it because part of growth is to say hey you know what as you mentioned is is really to be your authentic self and to feel like Thank you. okay, I'm going to give my best of who I am in the workplace for that moment, but it's not everything. That's also what I hear from your words. There is life next to it and you're going to give 100% for the job, but you're not going to take everything in or be fearless that if you do something, it's going to automatically have a negative impact if it doesn't fit into whatever someone is thinking or someone's perspective, right? So I think, and... Do you have any techniques to avoid having it coming back in?
Speaker #1
Yeah, there's a few techniques that I think that just, that does work for me. I think one thing that I try to do is I just try to smile. Smile, like, just all the time. I remember I used to do this in my early 20s. And I remember just smiling. I think that it's infectious. I think that you just train yourself and you force yourself to smile. And I think sometimes just people want to be understood. And so I think by smiling in your own time and at work, it does wonders. Another one is kind of relates back to people pleasing. And then also thinking, oh, I said this or I did this. And then you go and you're outside the conversation and you go round and round and round and round in your head. And you cause your own negativity. You cause your own pain. And so what I try to do is I go, if something creeps in, it sounds bad, but I go. doesn't matter doesn't matter it doesn't matter or i go and it's true actually Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? You made one comment or you, I don't know, wrote one sentence that didn't make sense, like whatever it might be at work. It's such a minute little thing in life, a very long life. And also, if you're in a corporate environment, for example, you are one of many. You are one of doing many, many, many projects, many decks, many slides, all the things. People make mistakes. And if you just, if you're human and you're authentic, you kind of get grace with that. If you're an asshole, no one's going to like you. No one's going to appreciate or help you. No one's going to, and people are going to jump on you for when you make mistakes. And it's a little bit of a diversion, but one time in my career, once worked for a company, a great company. And they said, one of the things they said to me, like kind of a private, somewhat senior leader was like, our culture is we don't want to work with assholes. So if you're an asshole, we don't want to work with you. So that's whether it's clients, whether it's people at the job or whatever it is. And those were the best people because everyone was just there and everyone was just happy to be there. And everyone was just like really, really smart, really hardworking. They could take jokes. I think that's a big thing. If you're sensitive, you can't take a joke. Or if you don't have good banter. And I think that's probably what you were saying before as well. Like you just have to strip it away. You have to strip away what people are saying to you because. you're the one who's feeling your your way you're the one who's feeling insecure but i think it's also back to like we were talking about people please before this quote you know around you know this person said on tiktok was like for the people for those people pleasers have you ever stopped and asked yourself do you like the person who you're trying to please because if you don't like them they don't like you what does it matter that's it right so paraphrasing but you know i think when you sit around people um giving you feedback and you're taking it quite partially lately, I think you just need to just go wall up. It does not matter. This does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I care about this? Do I care about this person? Like whatever that, whatever helps you to kind of just regulate, emotionally regulate, because the one thing in a workplace that really does help is when you are in control of your emotions. And if you are in control of your emotions at work and you need to go home and cry about it or whatever it might be, that helps, do it. you do you, right? Your authentic self. I think it's probably what I'm getting at. I'm meandering, but you do you, what is right for you? Be who you are and what you want to be. And I'm not saying you're this person, but someone at this other company, if they're an asshole, be an asshole. No one's going to like you or no one's, you're not going to work with people really well. You're not going to be able to collaborate. You're probably not going to stay for very long because you're an asshole. So let them be an asshole. You know, focus on yourself. Someone's coming at you and saying something and
Speaker #0
constructive way or as being direct or whatever it is you're just gonna go thank you very much thank you appreciate it yeah and it's it's a very it's a very good point and talking about you know this positivity around you know you have to have a good banter you have to be positive etc have you seen a difference depending on all the countries you lived where from companies to companies or from country to country the culture was different around that because from my perspective Thank you. being mainly my career has been mainly in Germany I do feel like I have depending also on the people I worked with sometimes I worked with very international teams sometimes teams that were more German and depending on the teams I've had moments where I could have this more banter this more like chill environment and some other moments where it felt very much all about how can we improve how can we be better and always giving that feedback where There is improvement, which on one end allow you for growth and allow you to get better. But on the other side can become very, very heavy. And some time can really take you down because you just hear the negative. If out of a, you know, one hour meeting, you've done 50, like 58 minutes of good and two minutes where you mess up slightly because there was a, I don't know, a missing on the slide or whatever. And this is the only thing that is pointed out to you over time. it starts to take a toll on you, I would say. And this is, I had the case before when it's taken a toll on me. And unfortunately, I feel sometimes I don't hear enough of the positive. So also myself, now I make the effort when I give feedback to people to also give them the positive feedback. And sometimes I even do sessions fully focused on the positive. And I even have to mention because one of my colleagues gave me an amazing feedback, a very positive feedback that I was inspiring to him. Before I went on holiday, which was very, very good to hear and made me feel amazing. But then I realized sometimes within the year, I don't hear enough positive. Not because the company and the people are not great and positive and good people and they're not assholes at all. It's more that. They are just focused so much on improving that they focus on giving you the negative feedback for you to grow. And I feel like sometimes it has the revert effect. So I would love to hear if you feel it has had an impact depending on the country you've worked in and the culture on that topic.
Speaker #1
Yeah, I can resonate with Germany, obviously, because we worked there together. There's a few things in what you had said, I think. One main thing is not every leader is going to be a good leader. Not every leader is going to give you good feedback for whatever reason, either they're too busy, they're not good people, people, leaders, they're good at their job, but you also have to recognize that not everyone is the same way. So I think if you do see your leader giving praise, other people, not you, I think that's a different story. But in general, I think, I think when you, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta do. It's hard to say. You got to do your job for you. Your career is about your career. If you're, you might have a good manager who's giving you praise and that's great. That's, that's more rare actually than you would think. But if you're not getting what you need from your manager in terms of praise, you've just got to tell yourself what you're doing is a good job because it's about you. It's not about them. And I think relying on others and having expectations of others to do things in the way that you want to do or that you need, you're never going to get what you want. You're going to always be disappointed. And that's also one thing I kind of recently kind of decided to change was stop expecting things from people. If you want to have something or expect something, do it yourself. Or don't care. Just let it go. I don't know. It's easier to say than to actually do. I know. Going back to working in Germany, naturally, the German language, I learned it. You've learned it. It is black and white. It is direct. And so when it comes to translating. from German to English, the fact is it's going to be direct. And so I think, I don't know if that's what you were kind of referring to in terms of sometimes the communication be quite direct and take it to heart more, or if it's actually the actual content, I don't know, the actual content and giving you your feedback is not enough praise, probably maybe a balance of both. But I'd say Germany is a hard place to work if you're not German, which is just different. That's all. I don't think I need anything biased. My own personal experience, I've gotten praise. I've gotten direct feedback. And I think at the time, it's been a few years now, but I think there's been times where I've had really, a really bad leader who said pretty terrible things to me. So I think that was one case. But then I had a really amazing, two really amazing people who were really positive and really gave me feedback. One was like really tough love, but I respected that. The other one was like really...
Speaker #0
you know giving praise and shouting my praise and wouldn't give me would really give me like negative feedback so like it really just depends it's not a one-size-fits-all not and i fully agree with you and nowhere me trying to say that is automatically just the german culture because i also have to say that i don't think it's only german i would also consider the french culture to be very more the glass half empty that half full and so looking more at the negative and i I think. Germans are the same, and it's maybe more of a European culture. I mean, European, maybe also in the Nordic countries, I would say it's potentially similar. So those also potentially can impact some ways of how this is communicated. But I also have had some amazing German leaders, have had some that were more difficult. I have some stories also, some very harsh one. So it's not automatically related directly to the... to the country and I know it's more focused on the person, but sometimes as you mentioned, the way potentially it's said because of the directness of the translation, we're talking about international companies that have people speaking multiple languages. So the way they express themselves, even me at the end of the day, I'm French first, right? So even English technically is my second language. So potentially sometimes the way I speak might be differently interpreted by someone who is. German or even American or English, whomever and wherever they're coming from. But that potentially this diversity and this melting pot, because people are speaking, coming from a different culture standpoint, can impact the way you interpret it and can potentially have that negative effect if you're already someone that is sensitive, I would say, to this type of thing. So I think this is... Definitely a one-on-one case scenarios. But as you mentioned, we have to take care of it ourselves. It's on our own hands to take care of it and to say, hey, you know what, I'm going to focus on me. I will listen. I think one of my leaders also said to me, you decide if you keep the feedback or if you just let it pass by. You don't have to take every feedback. And that is definitely a fair point. I have to say that I'm still in the middle. It comes in. It doesn't come out right away, unfortunately. So I just... Yeah, but it's, I think this impacts this authenticity feeling because you feel judged. And when you stop that judgment, that's where you can feel I can be myself the way I want to be, right?
Speaker #1
Yeah, and I think there's always, everything is interconnected in roles and whether you're corporate or a smaller company, meaning that when it comes time to give you feedback, whether it's on a regular basis or whether it's... to your bonus or whatever it is from an HR admin standpoint, they have to give you something. They have to give you positive. They have to give you negative, whatever you want to call it, things to work on because at the end of the day, it's also financial. So you're never going to get a positive feedback 100% that you get 200% bonus, for example, if you're in that particular case. So there's always reasons why. And so that's why I feel like don't take things personally. Because there's always a reason why you're getting feedback, whether it's because that person wants to give you feedback, whether they have to give you feedback, or whether it's, you know, also just tied to the company guidelines that the leader is told by HR to do this or do that, you know, so that's why it doesn't matter. Nothing is really real in the end. And it's only one little small little piece in life, tiny. So that's why if someone gives you negative feedback or something to work on, take and go. Thank you. I appreciate that. go on your own time, reflect on it and go, do I agree with this? Or do I don't agree with this? Do I not agree with this? And you decide, yeah, then you've got to make a game plan. You got to show up differently. If you're like, actually, and be really honest with yourself, right? Don't be like, you know, F this person. I'm not going to listen to them. That's not, that's not being authentic, right? You got to go, this person has told me this, strip the emotion away. This person has told me this, do I agree with it or not? And you got to make your case, your internal case to go, yes, no. No, I don't. Yes. Okay. I'm going to make a change. It's all about you. At the end of the day, you're the, if you're the one who's driving your own career, you're the one who is, has feared insecure. You're the one who, not you, but you're the one who is confident. You're like, you're the one who's self-doubt. Like all the things that are inside you are you, no one else. No one's thinking about you. Someone told me that actually once in a harsh context, but like, stop thinking about the conversation you've had. because no one's thinking about you. No one's, that person's not thinking about the conversation you're having. They're at home having fun or doing whatever, but who cares? You're the one who's stewing and who's like creating a story. So why are you giving that person this whatever negative conversation? Why are you giving that person any more energy or time? Conserve your energy and time for yourself. It's really hard.
Speaker #0
That's hard, but I think it's a very, it's a very good point, right? At the end of the day, it's about you and there is a bit of... selfishness but it's important to have that selfishness and that element of like okay the same way as other people don't think about you after you shouldn't think about the same conversation after as well and just move on and decide what you want for you for your life and how you want to show up and who you want to be in that environment and in general in life and what's important to you right i think sometimes it's difficult because you can get so many information from social media, from your colleague, from things that can influence you in term of, or maybe it could be interesting to go a certain direction or to go another one, but you have to always constantly recenter back to who am I and what do I want for me? And potentially what I want for me is not what other people want for me as well, but also what other people want for themselves. It's not one size fits all. We are all individuals and we all have our own paths, right? But Do you think that being in a corporate environment, having this mentality is sometimes kind of going against what a corporation is expecting of you? Because very often I do feel like people expect you to be fully dedicated to a corporation, to stay within the corporation. And I do understand that mindset, you know, that people want to keep great people, right? They want to keep people in, they want to keep... the one that are delivering. But at the same time, this can sometimes impact that if you decide to do something outside or if you decide to not do the career path that is expected of you, that might make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can give you a few examples. I had the case once that I went for a certain job and someone told me, now I don't get your career path. And in a way, a leader was telling me this in a way kind of like, what are you doing with your career it's like you're messing up and i do understand that from that person's perspective yes based on what they wanted from me it makes sense but what they wanted from me and what i wanted was not the same thing and this is where it became a bit tense also for me because I felt very uncomfortable in terms of am I messing up am I doing making the wrong decision and in a way you know doing this podcast some people telling me maybe you should stop because you should focus on other things and I'm not doing this during work hours I'm doing things fully outside for myself it's a hobby but it's something that is inspiring to me but some people view it as like conflicting with corporate which for me has zero conflict And so that's, again, challenging me in terms of people from the workplace are judging me from doing something related to work, related to career, but not during my work time, completely separate. And that is like potentially a conflict for my corporate job that I currently have and my career path overall. I've heard before, Julia, you look at your LinkedIn profile, I don't understand you. And it's very tough sometimes. Because it's me being authentic. It's my choices based on what I want and based on what feels good. But at the same time, getting those feedback are challenging me sometimes to think, am I doing the right thing? And I think I am for my own, but it's really challenging the status quo and my overall feeling about it. So I would love to hear your take on this.
Speaker #1
Yes, an interesting one. I had a recruiter one time tell me that. My career path didn't make sense for that job that I was applying for. But she was specifically talking about the job titles. It was for digital marketing manager. And my job titles didn't say digital, But I had digital marketing experience in my actual jobs within what I actually did, my responsibilities. So I thought it was really interesting. And I was like, you know what? I think you're wrong. So I went out and I did a digital marketing diploma. And I did that at my own time. And then I add that to my resume. Okay. emailing them back and said, hey, why didn't I let you know that I got a digital marketing diploma? Thanks for your feedback. It was like way back when, it was like years ago. But I think, don't let anyone tell you what you should do. And I think you are right that it is a little bit, you're in a bit of a rock and a hard place because you do work for a corporate organization. And if they have policies around that, or if they have an issue with that, then that's something you need to decide for yourself. because you need to decide whether it's a company that you want to work for, if they have those policies, if that's something that makes you happy. Not just you specifically, I'm just saying in general. If there's conflicting, you know, views, viewpoints around what's allowed, what's not allowed, or personal time, or whatever, then that's something you need to really think about what you want for yourself again. Your specific topic around this podcast, I agree, it's also your own personal time. I think also that you have to be quite conscious of what you're actually saying. You know, you actually do work for a company and myself as well. I'm never going to talk about, you know, my specific company, my specific roles, just generically, right? And I would say that a lot of people are jealous. A lot of people are fearful and they don't think that they would have the guts to do what you're doing. So they come from a place of negativity. They come from a place of fear. jealousy, whatever that might be. And they don't want to see you succeed. And if they think that you're saying something without your podcast is talking about something that might be conflicting with your job, they should take a listen and then decide for themselves, but also like, stop judging. Like, and you just do you, Julie, honestly, tell them to F off. Or no, you just say, actually, you know what you're saying? Let me say, Hey, thanks so much. I appreciate your feedback, but it really makes me happy. And I do my personal time, but see ya. You know, like don't give people time and energy who don't fit into your life and your ethos and your aura or like whatever it is, right? And I think that's also we need to decide as well in terms of a mindset shift and being positive and have a positive outlook in life. Strip away the toxic people in your life that don't add value. That's it. You know, I had to do that as well recently. We're just like, you know what? I'm thinking about these people. I'm always the one who's reaching out to them and checking in on them. I'm just going to stop. reach out to them and see what happens. Never heard from them in three years. I was just going to finish off and just say like noise, there's lots of noise out there, whether it's social media, whether it's people at work, there's always a motive. There's always a reason that it's just like, strip it away, go away, you know, strip away the noise, strip away the toxicity, focus on you, focus on your path and do what you want to do.
Speaker #0
And I think it's a, yeah, exactly what you said. No, but it's a very good point. And I just want to say that I have to say that within my colleagues and my bosses, and they've all said positive things, so nothing negative from their side. But I've heard sometimes some people that I used to work with or some people that I work with more far away that have made comments in terms of, Julie, you're so busy, you should just stop this piece. And then take more time to chill. It's not coming automatically from a bad way because I also have said before, I don't sleep enough, I don't take care of myself enough. And their mindset is to say, then stop this. And it's always this topic. So it's not coming so far from a place of negativity. I've had also some colleagues have said some very nice words, but the constant message that I've gotten from some people is to say, stop this to give more time to you. And I've... keep on telling them yet but this brings me joy this is my creative outlets this actually brings me this positive and extra energy in a way you know so this is something i don't want to stop so so far i've had not received that specific type of feedback from colleagues but i know that for some people as soon as you start doing something outside of the corporate and we'll do an episode specifically in regards to having a side hustle it's In some countries, it's well accepted. In some others, it's less accepted. In some corporations, of course, you have to be aware, no matter the corporation, that you shouldn't do a job that is linked outside, that is linked to your job in the company because this is a conflict of interest. That's for sure. But there is a lot of opportunity or things that you can do outside and that doesn't mean you're not fully committed to a corporation. But I've heard so many times from some people and I've seen also online. Some people mentioning the fact of like, oh, yes, someone doing outside, at some point they leave to do that job full time. And we are in a new generation. We're in a new setup. I do believe that it's not automatically a one-time-suit-all. That doesn't mean that something outside means being completely gone from corporation worlds. But also, I do believe that it's okay to be different and not to automatically want. the corporate ladder or you don't automatically want to be in a certain role that people want you to go or direction that people want you to go as mentioned this is also what happened to me right people wanted me to go a certain direction i said no and some accepted it and some didn't and i think it's important then in that context to say okay maybe the people that don't accept it either they change their mind and i'm happy to have them still around or they don't change their mind and i have to let them go. I thanked them for the time that they supported me but now it's not the same phase anymore. It doesn't fit anymore. And I think that's okay. But this is a difficult process. I think that we all have to experience in our own time, but we also have to accept and that can break some bond, that can break some network, some friendships, because we're not only talking about career, but also we can talk about personal life in that context. But it's a hard... moment to to let go and to define my circle is evolving with me evolving and remaining me as i grow potentially a direction that nobody expected me to go to right yeah a
Speaker #1
couple things i was going to say on that was um you've always been very busy you always do a lot i've already told you like stop doing this stop doing this is way too much you know but I listened to one of your episodes and you talked about, I can't remember the topic. I think maybe it was the first one. It was around, you know, like you don't really want to sit on the couch and, you know, not do anything. You want to go do stuff. And it's totally fine if you want to go do stuff. It's also totally fine if you want to sit on the couch and not do anything. I think you've always been someone who wants to take up new hobbies and learn new things. And I think it's personal growth. I think that was the topic. I appreciate that about you. I think that I can resonate with that as well to go, I want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. I will do that. And I think I also have a guilt streak that I should be going and doing stuff. But I think I've come to a place in my life where for me, I think recharging and having me time is quite important to be able to go out and be the best version of myself. And also, you know, like, as you mentioned, social media and stuff and or LinkedIn or like whatever it is, you see all these people that you think you should be doing things. You feel pressured that you should be doing things as other people are doing things, right? Like content is curated. And also, why does it matter? Just do whatever you want to do and stop looking at other people to think that you should be doing something more. It just, it's this vicious circle and cycle. None of that helps you to be confident or happy or anything. And I do agree that you do put a lot on your plate, but I think you should just do exactly as you want to do. Because at the end of the day, I think that if it makes you happy, you should do it. That's all it is, right? This podcast makes you happy. Do it. Don't let anyone tell you to. And if it's giving you more energy or like you're tired from it, but it's giving you this, it's like a good tired, do it. If it's taking away from your life, don't do it. I can just do anything that you do in life. It takes away, it sucks out your energy and you don't feel rejuvenated. You know, don't do it. And the other thing I was going to say, one part of what you were saying was around, you know, life for me. And I've said this a few times. I think we've talked about this. Life is about chapters, you know. Some chapters are short. Some friendships are short. Some friendships are long like ours. We have a long chapter.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
I had a very, very long chapter, you know, with one of my best friends from high school. And we're not friends anymore because I think we came to a point. point where we realized or I realized that I was just like we just don't really have a lot in common anymore and we just kind of fell out of touch and we just haven't been in contact anymore so sad you know but at the same time like life as a as a whole book is quite long one massive book of many many chapters so whether you look at it from a job perspective or like a career or whether it's personal friendships relationships whatever it might be you want to have longer chapters that of those good times right but then if those chapters end you just got to go i really appreciate that whole chapter what i was doing or who i was with or friendships or whatever and i'll always look back and fondly but change is inevitable regardless it's got to be okay with change because it's it's coming you can't stop it right yes and so circling back to being your your authentic self, there is no point in... not being who you want to be and showing up the best version of yourself in any situation whether it's for your personal because it'll change anyways life will change chapters will change you just got the only consistent thing in your life is your choice and your yeah your ability to choose who you want to be and to choose how you show that's
Speaker #0
it choice is always with you that's constant sorry yeah and i think it's definitely a good point and very well said right Things are changing around you. But at the end of the day, you decide who you want to be and you decide for you what this means today and how you want to show up each day. So I think it's a very good point. I think we could talk for hours and I think I could keep going on all the topics we've discussed. But I just want to wrap it up on the topic around authenticity because that's our focus. But I'm already buzzing with other topics to talk about. and bring you on further because we already touched on, you know, about wellness, about topics, such as also what makes us recharge. And I think it's very different from one person to the others. And I would love also to do some follow-ups. This is why I keep doing this book. It keeps on buzzing with new topics. A lot more to discuss. One piece that you consider it the most positive element of it. What is the number one thing?
Speaker #1
you have it in mind that's fine just so do you mean like the by showing up authentically in the way that was yeah what has been the number one benefit of doing that yes so they say was it a three i can't remember what it's called but there's three things like the most important things is the hierarchy of needs or whatever it is around your home your career in your personal life or something so i think my career my career has been kind of like this sometimes and so i think and you know when i decided to kind of have a mindset shift a little while back my career has been a lot it's been a lot better i've shown up and just been happy every day at work and then as a result and also like any value in just doing what I'm doing, you know, but that really helped me kind of do well in my career. And as a result, that positively impacted my personal life. So I think right now, even though I'm actually moving out in like three weeks, so my home is a little, but I have a new place. That's good. But I think like I said to my partner as well, a little while back a few months ago, I was like, I'm so happy. Career, personal, home, all of them were in line. And I think... that is probably the number one thing that positive impact that having a mindset shift to be my authentic self you know has done is that it's it's realigned my hierarchy of needs nice yeah yeah it's been good it's hard it's hard to get all those in alignment i don't think i've really ever had that 100 and i think i've and i said to my friends and like family and partner a few months back. but I've definitely am the most happy I've been in my life. And it sounds so cheesy, but everything just kind of fall into place. And the only thing that I can attribute it to. Really just having that mindset shift and, you know, just changing my behaviors. And it has positively impacted my work life, I think.
Speaker #0
That's awesome. That it really kind of brought everything together and created that sense of, it also feels like a sense of calm in the way you're sharing it. Kind of like you're at peace. And that's definitely reflecting, I would say. also in the way you speak in the way you we exchange today so i think it's amazing i'm so happy for you i hope to find that authenticity very soon i think i have it sometime but sometime i go back in the old way so finding that inner peace and finding this this feeling of uh yeah of calmness of being aligned with who i am is something i'm thriving for and i'm sure that many other people are feeling the same as either they are already like you or they are on the journey like me or maybe they are just starting but doesn't matter where where we are it's about trying to move toward this direction if it feels like it's the right time to look into it to take care of that goal but it's a it's very inspiring discussion we had today so thank you so much for
Speaker #1
go ahead yes okay so what i'm what i've been talking about it is not easy i'm not saying that just like one day is like that And that's it. Regardless, everything takes time. You just got to make a choice. Whatever that is, right? So my challenge to you and Julie is start small. For the next three months, Julie, show up to work and have a smile on your face. Actually, just in general, force yourself to smile. Even if you don't feel happy, just do it. And as a result, when you interact with people as well, just be bubbly. Be happy. Fake it. Fake it if you have to. Pretend. I don't care. Do it for three months. See me just start with a, see where it gets to, see where it gets you. Because honestly, what I'm really, what I'm getting at is if you are able to do that, I'm really curious is when you do get feedback from whoever in a month, three months or whatever, in terms of typical reviews or whatever it is, I want to hear their feedback because what is really easy to identify is negativity. And that's really easy for someone to easily grab onto and then go from there. But. when you're positive all the time it's actually not quite hard to find negativity it's weird so i don't know probably my challenge to you is to show up and fake it if you have to because once you start training yourself to do it it kind of becomes part of you weird
Speaker #0
it's a atomic habit you know like i i was reading this book this year we're still in 2025 when we're recording but this will be released in 2026 But in 2025, I read The Atomic Habit. And I said, actually, this is the book of the year for me and really helped me a lot. And I guess this is a habit to put in place and starting showing up every day with a smile on your face. And as you mentioned, also, even if something is hard, still keeping a smile, because I also see it in my personal life. I look at today, I had a moment when I was running and I had a very bad, I was not happy with how I was running for some reason, don't ask. And automatically you could tell I was not happy and you can see it on my face and potentially having the smile even though it's it's not going the way to plan potentially can bring you back a positive mindset for the day so definitely something to try on which I will put as an extra challenge with my very busy life but
Speaker #1
I think this will bring a lot of value overall alternatively take an elastic band put in your wrist every time you have a negative thought go when you're running it's not that way i know that's your that's your plan b your option b let's start with learning if it doesn't work i'll let you know things like positive reinforcements thank
Speaker #0
you so much again and that's a wrap for today's episodes of the pulse If something resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. So drop me a message on Instagram, LinkedIn, or leave a review wherever you're listening. Your feedback fuels this community and I much appreciate it. Make sure to follow The Pulse on your favorite podcast platforms and on social media so you never miss an episode. And if you're craving for more, check out the show notes for links, resources, and ways to connect. Until next time, keep trusting your journey. because course happen one step at a time see you soon bye

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Description

What You’ll Learn:

How to embrace authenticity in the workplace without fear.
Why corporate culture can challenge your true self—and how to navigate it.
The importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.
How to handle feedback and criticism with confidence and grace.

CTA: "Tag someone who needs to hear this! What’s one way you stay authentic at work? Share in the comments!"

Timestamps:

05:45: Rhys’ Career Journey—From Germany to New Zealand
12:30: What Does Authenticity at Work Mean?
20:10: Handling Feedback and Criticism
28:00: The Power of Letting Go and Embracing Change
35:45: Rhys’ Challenge: Show Up with a Smile

Follow The Pulse on IG: The Pulse Podcast

My Website: www.juliehalbert.com

Disclaimer:

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Every two weeks, I will bring you a regular dose of inspiration, practical tips, and regular stories about personal development, wellness, and career growth. Whether you're looking for motivation, fresh perspective, or just a reminder that you're not alone, you are in the right place. So welcome and let's dive in. Hi, welcome to the both. I'm Julie, your host. And today, this is our first guest episode. So I'm very happy to have one of my closest friends here today on the podcast. So hi, Reese. Thank you so much for joining. And I would love to start. right away by having you present yourself to the audience.
Speaker #1
My name is Rhys. I live in New Zealand, but Julie and I met way back when in Germany. I remember the moment actually we became friends.
Speaker #0
Yes, me too.
Speaker #1
Way back in 2013. Yeah, Julie and I lived in Germany for six years. We worked in the same company and we were friends outside of work. I then moved to New Zealand. years but julie and i kept in touch uh since since then so it's about 13 13 years now so yeah all the ups and downs personal professional yeah we do lean on each other sometimes just for some you know advice or emotional support or whatever it might be always just kind of a an ear or shoulder here to listen or a shoulder definitely exactly
Speaker #0
Yeah, it's been already 13 years and I've learned a lot from you, I think, in my life. And as you said, we've been definitely there for each other, supporting each other to the ups and down, also cheering each other career wise, I would say. So I'm so happy to have you as my first guest, also supporting me in this journey, in creating the podcast and making it easier for me as well to do this for the first time, having someone that I know I can. feel relaxed let's put it that way so thank you so much for this just stop and yes i have to i have to stop laughing serious right we are serious on this podcast it's all about growth and gross serious topic no but overall today what we wanted to talk about is about being our authentic self in the workplace and in life in general but also in the workplace in that context and before we go into details i wanted to hear a little bit About your career journey and about what have you gone through all throughout your now? How many years of career is that for you?
Speaker #1
21 years.
Speaker #0
Wow. I guess.
Speaker #1
Probably different levels of professional. Yeah, probably my specific career, my career path has been about 14, 15.
Speaker #0
Yeah, right. Started. I think we all have, you know, when we are a student, those. student jobs or like the one that we start a bit earlier on but this kind of main career path starts right out of uni in some ways so a bit later and you've said already prior that you've lived in germany um i think it would be definitely good also to to hear the different roles or the different part of where you've gone through in germany you don't have to go through a lot of of details but How did you make it also from Germany to New Zealand, right? Tell us a little bit about that from a curious standpoint.
Speaker #1
Oh, gosh. It makes me remember way back when I was a little boy and I was about two years old. I used to crawl out of the crib and I used to run down the street and go wait on the doorstep of our neighbors for them to let me in and feed me breakfast. It's so bad. Or I'd go downstairs and I'd eat butter. I've always been someone who just kind of gets something in his head. has a goal and goes for it and makes it happen. So I think for me, I've actually lived in a few countries. So I've lived in Germany for the longest period outside of New Zealand now, but I lived in the UK. I lived in Denmark. I lived in the Netherlands. I lived in the Greek Islands various months, years for different reasons, whether it's work or education or for fun. Oh, Bali also. And I think I just kind of get something in my head, but just go for it. I think we can get to this a little later around fear and confidence and stuff. But in terms of my career journey, it's always been relatively in marketing, whether it's straight up marketing, whether you're doing campaigns, for example, strategy, or you're doing things like a subset of marketing, so like retail marketing. communications, whether it's internal or external communications, it all has something to do kind of a little bit with storytelling and marketing in different various formats. So that's been pretty much my career the whole time. Yeah, my journey has been definitely up and down. I'm sure everyone's has. I think what comes with living abroad and making these big bold moves is you tend to enter into these different positions or companies or industries or countries and everything is different. There's no one set kind of rule or pattern to when you're moving from one job to the next or different companies or different industries. And so you really have to kind of get in and understand what's the culture like? Who are these people? What's the actual job asking you to do? And I think sometimes I've definitely failed. I think sometimes I was like, oh, I really want to do this. And I realized that it actually wasn't really for me. My skillset didn't really match very well. And I think you always really want to try hard and kind of do your best. potentially be a perfectionist or do really well, whatever that is, whatever your goal is. And sometimes you stay too long. And sometimes you realize actually people, you have your own choice, whether you're going to leave on your own, or sometimes people make those choices for you. And I think the best and most successful roles I've had are ones that really fit my skill set. Really, I work with really amazing people. The culture is really good. The work is challenging, really able to add value in areas where I feel that I thought I could do something really well. I probably didn't do as well as I could have, but I think there's a lot of factors that play into any kind of role or any kind of career choice that you make. And no one's ever perfect. No one ever succeeds a hundred percent in every role they do. So I think having a bit of grace for yourself and getting from one place to the next, wherever that goal may be, I think you need to find that strike that balance between what you want, the goals, the career, and then also just, yes, something so hard on yourself, you know?
Speaker #0
This is why I also wanted to have you on the podcast, and I'm sure we could have more topics to talk about. So maybe we'll dive some more, because you've experienced so many countries, so many cultures, so many different environments. You've changed jobs, even if you stayed in the same field. So you've viewed different parts of it, and you had to adapt, and you had to learn the ways, the ins and outs, what you could do, what you couldn't do. really it's a full adaptation journey for you and I'm very impressed with how you've gone through it and so today I know we have to focus on authenticity but it's definitely something that I would also love to to talk further with you on this topic of adaptability and flexibility but I think it's also balanced quite well with what it means to be authentic and how to be authentic in the workplace when things evolve and things get so different from one place to the others and how do you adapt to it is is a component so what i would love to hear from you is what does being authentic at work means to you what what does it mean for you to be your authentic self at work basically yeah
Speaker #1
i think that i think i'm probably just taking a step back first is to you really need to think and be self-actualized and to understand what... what is your authentic self for you? Because there is no one size fits all. So you need to kind of sit down and go, who do I want to be? What do I actually, who am I as a person? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What can I bring to a job? What can I bring to my personal life, good and bad? And you just really need to understand, you know, the pros about yourself and who you want to be. What do you want to exemplify? How do you want to show up? You need to understand what those things are and you need to go for it. You need to... live and breathe whatever those are and on the flip side you also need to recognize that you're not the best at everything you might be really good at something but at the end of the day when you're with a company it's really a when you're in a role in a company you're there to do a job which means you need to be really good and the best at the job that you've been given you don't need to be the best in the company you just need to be best at what you're doing because we paid for the job. right? And so everything else is a bonus. And so when you show up as your authentic self and being the best person that you are, whatever that be, it all kind of falls into place. I think there's always this balance between being your authentic self for yourself and being your authentic self for what's right for the company and for your role. So everyone wears masks regardless. You can't just be 100% your authentic self in your personal life at your job. No one is, right? Like that's. You're not there to be, this is not like your personal fun time. This is not your personal therapy session. This is not your personal anything. Like you are there to go in and do your job, right? I think what for me particularly was there was a... probably a place in my life, in my career that I was like, I need a mindset shift. This is not working for me. I'm not happy in my personal life. I'm not happy in my job. And everything's kind of bleeding into one. And I just need to stop and just really think about what's the right thing for me and who do I want to be? It sounds like you're like a little kid, like who do you want to be when you grow up? It kind of is like that. You kind of go, actually, I want to be happy. I want to add value. I want to stop being negative. I want to stop myself from thinking X, Y, Z. I want to stop being a people pleaser because I've been a people pleaser my whole life until just a little while ago. And when I decide to go, do I care about X, Y, Z, which I typically care about? Do I care about if I said the wrong thing or do I care about this person doesn't like me? I said, actually, I don't care. What I really care about is actually showing up, being challenged, adding value. making as much money as possible for the value that I'm adding, you know, so I can afford the things that I want to do in my personal life, so I can have a good work life balance. And I think that really worked for me, like I just show up every day happy. And I'm more happy in my personal life, confident, whenever any kind of self doubt creeps in, and I go, no, no time for that. You know, I think fear is a really big part of it, which I said earlier, I think, regardless of whatever you do in your life, whether you move countries, whether you pick up a new hobby. a sport or whether you're introverted and then you put into an extroverted position, whether you present to present something to a thousand people or two people, whatever it might be, fear has no place in life for me, because what is the point if you only have one life, for example, what is the point of being scared about something? It's really, really hard to not be scared. And it's really, really hard not to be negative. It's really hard. It's really easy to be those things. And I just think that for me, a challenge is always really important. It helps me grow. I know that you talked about having a growth mindset. It's a really big topic, has been a really big topic in the last little while. And I think that you need to decide what it is that you really want out of life. What is it you want in your career? And you need to remember every day to think, I want this, I'm going to get this. This is what I want. You got to be selfish. so that you can show up for your best version of yourself at work. And everything seemed to fall into place for me. So I'm going to try to keep doing it. It's really hard every day.
Speaker #0
No, it's so interesting what you're saying, because for me, I've been trying to do the same and to be a bit more fearless and not to worry too much about judgment of people. But I feel like it's creeping back in. on a regular basis and it's making me feel like I'm not truly being able to be myself in the in the workplace or I'm very very harshly I have to say also any negative feedback I take it deeply in term of I'm not good enough and so it's important that I'm currently in the journey of working on it because part of growth is to say hey you know what as you mentioned is is really to be your authentic self and to feel like Thank you. okay, I'm going to give my best of who I am in the workplace for that moment, but it's not everything. That's also what I hear from your words. There is life next to it and you're going to give 100% for the job, but you're not going to take everything in or be fearless that if you do something, it's going to automatically have a negative impact if it doesn't fit into whatever someone is thinking or someone's perspective, right? So I think, and... Do you have any techniques to avoid having it coming back in?
Speaker #1
Yeah, there's a few techniques that I think that just, that does work for me. I think one thing that I try to do is I just try to smile. Smile, like, just all the time. I remember I used to do this in my early 20s. And I remember just smiling. I think that it's infectious. I think that you just train yourself and you force yourself to smile. And I think sometimes just people want to be understood. And so I think by smiling in your own time and at work, it does wonders. Another one is kind of relates back to people pleasing. And then also thinking, oh, I said this or I did this. And then you go and you're outside the conversation and you go round and round and round and round in your head. And you cause your own negativity. You cause your own pain. And so what I try to do is I go, if something creeps in, it sounds bad, but I go. doesn't matter doesn't matter it doesn't matter or i go and it's true actually Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? You made one comment or you, I don't know, wrote one sentence that didn't make sense, like whatever it might be at work. It's such a minute little thing in life, a very long life. And also, if you're in a corporate environment, for example, you are one of many. You are one of doing many, many, many projects, many decks, many slides, all the things. People make mistakes. And if you just, if you're human and you're authentic, you kind of get grace with that. If you're an asshole, no one's going to like you. No one's going to appreciate or help you. No one's going to, and people are going to jump on you for when you make mistakes. And it's a little bit of a diversion, but one time in my career, once worked for a company, a great company. And they said, one of the things they said to me, like kind of a private, somewhat senior leader was like, our culture is we don't want to work with assholes. So if you're an asshole, we don't want to work with you. So that's whether it's clients, whether it's people at the job or whatever it is. And those were the best people because everyone was just there and everyone was just happy to be there. And everyone was just like really, really smart, really hardworking. They could take jokes. I think that's a big thing. If you're sensitive, you can't take a joke. Or if you don't have good banter. And I think that's probably what you were saying before as well. Like you just have to strip it away. You have to strip away what people are saying to you because. you're the one who's feeling your your way you're the one who's feeling insecure but i think it's also back to like we were talking about people please before this quote you know around you know this person said on tiktok was like for the people for those people pleasers have you ever stopped and asked yourself do you like the person who you're trying to please because if you don't like them they don't like you what does it matter that's it right so paraphrasing but you know i think when you sit around people um giving you feedback and you're taking it quite partially lately, I think you just need to just go wall up. It does not matter. This does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I care about this? Do I care about this person? Like whatever that, whatever helps you to kind of just regulate, emotionally regulate, because the one thing in a workplace that really does help is when you are in control of your emotions. And if you are in control of your emotions at work and you need to go home and cry about it or whatever it might be, that helps, do it. you do you, right? Your authentic self. I think it's probably what I'm getting at. I'm meandering, but you do you, what is right for you? Be who you are and what you want to be. And I'm not saying you're this person, but someone at this other company, if they're an asshole, be an asshole. No one's going to like you or no one's, you're not going to work with people really well. You're not going to be able to collaborate. You're probably not going to stay for very long because you're an asshole. So let them be an asshole. You know, focus on yourself. Someone's coming at you and saying something and
Speaker #0
constructive way or as being direct or whatever it is you're just gonna go thank you very much thank you appreciate it yeah and it's it's a very it's a very good point and talking about you know this positivity around you know you have to have a good banter you have to be positive etc have you seen a difference depending on all the countries you lived where from companies to companies or from country to country the culture was different around that because from my perspective Thank you. being mainly my career has been mainly in Germany I do feel like I have depending also on the people I worked with sometimes I worked with very international teams sometimes teams that were more German and depending on the teams I've had moments where I could have this more banter this more like chill environment and some other moments where it felt very much all about how can we improve how can we be better and always giving that feedback where There is improvement, which on one end allow you for growth and allow you to get better. But on the other side can become very, very heavy. And some time can really take you down because you just hear the negative. If out of a, you know, one hour meeting, you've done 50, like 58 minutes of good and two minutes where you mess up slightly because there was a, I don't know, a missing on the slide or whatever. And this is the only thing that is pointed out to you over time. it starts to take a toll on you, I would say. And this is, I had the case before when it's taken a toll on me. And unfortunately, I feel sometimes I don't hear enough of the positive. So also myself, now I make the effort when I give feedback to people to also give them the positive feedback. And sometimes I even do sessions fully focused on the positive. And I even have to mention because one of my colleagues gave me an amazing feedback, a very positive feedback that I was inspiring to him. Before I went on holiday, which was very, very good to hear and made me feel amazing. But then I realized sometimes within the year, I don't hear enough positive. Not because the company and the people are not great and positive and good people and they're not assholes at all. It's more that. They are just focused so much on improving that they focus on giving you the negative feedback for you to grow. And I feel like sometimes it has the revert effect. So I would love to hear if you feel it has had an impact depending on the country you've worked in and the culture on that topic.
Speaker #1
Yeah, I can resonate with Germany, obviously, because we worked there together. There's a few things in what you had said, I think. One main thing is not every leader is going to be a good leader. Not every leader is going to give you good feedback for whatever reason, either they're too busy, they're not good people, people, leaders, they're good at their job, but you also have to recognize that not everyone is the same way. So I think if you do see your leader giving praise, other people, not you, I think that's a different story. But in general, I think, I think when you, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta do. It's hard to say. You got to do your job for you. Your career is about your career. If you're, you might have a good manager who's giving you praise and that's great. That's, that's more rare actually than you would think. But if you're not getting what you need from your manager in terms of praise, you've just got to tell yourself what you're doing is a good job because it's about you. It's not about them. And I think relying on others and having expectations of others to do things in the way that you want to do or that you need, you're never going to get what you want. You're going to always be disappointed. And that's also one thing I kind of recently kind of decided to change was stop expecting things from people. If you want to have something or expect something, do it yourself. Or don't care. Just let it go. I don't know. It's easier to say than to actually do. I know. Going back to working in Germany, naturally, the German language, I learned it. You've learned it. It is black and white. It is direct. And so when it comes to translating. from German to English, the fact is it's going to be direct. And so I think, I don't know if that's what you were kind of referring to in terms of sometimes the communication be quite direct and take it to heart more, or if it's actually the actual content, I don't know, the actual content and giving you your feedback is not enough praise, probably maybe a balance of both. But I'd say Germany is a hard place to work if you're not German, which is just different. That's all. I don't think I need anything biased. My own personal experience, I've gotten praise. I've gotten direct feedback. And I think at the time, it's been a few years now, but I think there's been times where I've had really, a really bad leader who said pretty terrible things to me. So I think that was one case. But then I had a really amazing, two really amazing people who were really positive and really gave me feedback. One was like really tough love, but I respected that. The other one was like really...
Speaker #0
you know giving praise and shouting my praise and wouldn't give me would really give me like negative feedback so like it really just depends it's not a one-size-fits-all not and i fully agree with you and nowhere me trying to say that is automatically just the german culture because i also have to say that i don't think it's only german i would also consider the french culture to be very more the glass half empty that half full and so looking more at the negative and i I think. Germans are the same, and it's maybe more of a European culture. I mean, European, maybe also in the Nordic countries, I would say it's potentially similar. So those also potentially can impact some ways of how this is communicated. But I also have had some amazing German leaders, have had some that were more difficult. I have some stories also, some very harsh one. So it's not automatically related directly to the... to the country and I know it's more focused on the person, but sometimes as you mentioned, the way potentially it's said because of the directness of the translation, we're talking about international companies that have people speaking multiple languages. So the way they express themselves, even me at the end of the day, I'm French first, right? So even English technically is my second language. So potentially sometimes the way I speak might be differently interpreted by someone who is. German or even American or English, whomever and wherever they're coming from. But that potentially this diversity and this melting pot, because people are speaking, coming from a different culture standpoint, can impact the way you interpret it and can potentially have that negative effect if you're already someone that is sensitive, I would say, to this type of thing. So I think this is... Definitely a one-on-one case scenarios. But as you mentioned, we have to take care of it ourselves. It's on our own hands to take care of it and to say, hey, you know what, I'm going to focus on me. I will listen. I think one of my leaders also said to me, you decide if you keep the feedback or if you just let it pass by. You don't have to take every feedback. And that is definitely a fair point. I have to say that I'm still in the middle. It comes in. It doesn't come out right away, unfortunately. So I just... Yeah, but it's, I think this impacts this authenticity feeling because you feel judged. And when you stop that judgment, that's where you can feel I can be myself the way I want to be, right?
Speaker #1
Yeah, and I think there's always, everything is interconnected in roles and whether you're corporate or a smaller company, meaning that when it comes time to give you feedback, whether it's on a regular basis or whether it's... to your bonus or whatever it is from an HR admin standpoint, they have to give you something. They have to give you positive. They have to give you negative, whatever you want to call it, things to work on because at the end of the day, it's also financial. So you're never going to get a positive feedback 100% that you get 200% bonus, for example, if you're in that particular case. So there's always reasons why. And so that's why I feel like don't take things personally. Because there's always a reason why you're getting feedback, whether it's because that person wants to give you feedback, whether they have to give you feedback, or whether it's, you know, also just tied to the company guidelines that the leader is told by HR to do this or do that, you know, so that's why it doesn't matter. Nothing is really real in the end. And it's only one little small little piece in life, tiny. So that's why if someone gives you negative feedback or something to work on, take and go. Thank you. I appreciate that. go on your own time, reflect on it and go, do I agree with this? Or do I don't agree with this? Do I not agree with this? And you decide, yeah, then you've got to make a game plan. You got to show up differently. If you're like, actually, and be really honest with yourself, right? Don't be like, you know, F this person. I'm not going to listen to them. That's not, that's not being authentic, right? You got to go, this person has told me this, strip the emotion away. This person has told me this, do I agree with it or not? And you got to make your case, your internal case to go, yes, no. No, I don't. Yes. Okay. I'm going to make a change. It's all about you. At the end of the day, you're the, if you're the one who's driving your own career, you're the one who is, has feared insecure. You're the one who, not you, but you're the one who is confident. You're like, you're the one who's self-doubt. Like all the things that are inside you are you, no one else. No one's thinking about you. Someone told me that actually once in a harsh context, but like, stop thinking about the conversation you've had. because no one's thinking about you. No one's, that person's not thinking about the conversation you're having. They're at home having fun or doing whatever, but who cares? You're the one who's stewing and who's like creating a story. So why are you giving that person this whatever negative conversation? Why are you giving that person any more energy or time? Conserve your energy and time for yourself. It's really hard.
Speaker #0
That's hard, but I think it's a very, it's a very good point, right? At the end of the day, it's about you and there is a bit of... selfishness but it's important to have that selfishness and that element of like okay the same way as other people don't think about you after you shouldn't think about the same conversation after as well and just move on and decide what you want for you for your life and how you want to show up and who you want to be in that environment and in general in life and what's important to you right i think sometimes it's difficult because you can get so many information from social media, from your colleague, from things that can influence you in term of, or maybe it could be interesting to go a certain direction or to go another one, but you have to always constantly recenter back to who am I and what do I want for me? And potentially what I want for me is not what other people want for me as well, but also what other people want for themselves. It's not one size fits all. We are all individuals and we all have our own paths, right? But Do you think that being in a corporate environment, having this mentality is sometimes kind of going against what a corporation is expecting of you? Because very often I do feel like people expect you to be fully dedicated to a corporation, to stay within the corporation. And I do understand that mindset, you know, that people want to keep great people, right? They want to keep people in, they want to keep... the one that are delivering. But at the same time, this can sometimes impact that if you decide to do something outside or if you decide to not do the career path that is expected of you, that might make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can give you a few examples. I had the case once that I went for a certain job and someone told me, now I don't get your career path. And in a way, a leader was telling me this in a way kind of like, what are you doing with your career it's like you're messing up and i do understand that from that person's perspective yes based on what they wanted from me it makes sense but what they wanted from me and what i wanted was not the same thing and this is where it became a bit tense also for me because I felt very uncomfortable in terms of am I messing up am I doing making the wrong decision and in a way you know doing this podcast some people telling me maybe you should stop because you should focus on other things and I'm not doing this during work hours I'm doing things fully outside for myself it's a hobby but it's something that is inspiring to me but some people view it as like conflicting with corporate which for me has zero conflict And so that's, again, challenging me in terms of people from the workplace are judging me from doing something related to work, related to career, but not during my work time, completely separate. And that is like potentially a conflict for my corporate job that I currently have and my career path overall. I've heard before, Julia, you look at your LinkedIn profile, I don't understand you. And it's very tough sometimes. Because it's me being authentic. It's my choices based on what I want and based on what feels good. But at the same time, getting those feedback are challenging me sometimes to think, am I doing the right thing? And I think I am for my own, but it's really challenging the status quo and my overall feeling about it. So I would love to hear your take on this.
Speaker #1
Yes, an interesting one. I had a recruiter one time tell me that. My career path didn't make sense for that job that I was applying for. But she was specifically talking about the job titles. It was for digital marketing manager. And my job titles didn't say digital, But I had digital marketing experience in my actual jobs within what I actually did, my responsibilities. So I thought it was really interesting. And I was like, you know what? I think you're wrong. So I went out and I did a digital marketing diploma. And I did that at my own time. And then I add that to my resume. Okay. emailing them back and said, hey, why didn't I let you know that I got a digital marketing diploma? Thanks for your feedback. It was like way back when, it was like years ago. But I think, don't let anyone tell you what you should do. And I think you are right that it is a little bit, you're in a bit of a rock and a hard place because you do work for a corporate organization. And if they have policies around that, or if they have an issue with that, then that's something you need to decide for yourself. because you need to decide whether it's a company that you want to work for, if they have those policies, if that's something that makes you happy. Not just you specifically, I'm just saying in general. If there's conflicting, you know, views, viewpoints around what's allowed, what's not allowed, or personal time, or whatever, then that's something you need to really think about what you want for yourself again. Your specific topic around this podcast, I agree, it's also your own personal time. I think also that you have to be quite conscious of what you're actually saying. You know, you actually do work for a company and myself as well. I'm never going to talk about, you know, my specific company, my specific roles, just generically, right? And I would say that a lot of people are jealous. A lot of people are fearful and they don't think that they would have the guts to do what you're doing. So they come from a place of negativity. They come from a place of fear. jealousy, whatever that might be. And they don't want to see you succeed. And if they think that you're saying something without your podcast is talking about something that might be conflicting with your job, they should take a listen and then decide for themselves, but also like, stop judging. Like, and you just do you, Julie, honestly, tell them to F off. Or no, you just say, actually, you know what you're saying? Let me say, Hey, thanks so much. I appreciate your feedback, but it really makes me happy. And I do my personal time, but see ya. You know, like don't give people time and energy who don't fit into your life and your ethos and your aura or like whatever it is, right? And I think that's also we need to decide as well in terms of a mindset shift and being positive and have a positive outlook in life. Strip away the toxic people in your life that don't add value. That's it. You know, I had to do that as well recently. We're just like, you know what? I'm thinking about these people. I'm always the one who's reaching out to them and checking in on them. I'm just going to stop. reach out to them and see what happens. Never heard from them in three years. I was just going to finish off and just say like noise, there's lots of noise out there, whether it's social media, whether it's people at work, there's always a motive. There's always a reason that it's just like, strip it away, go away, you know, strip away the noise, strip away the toxicity, focus on you, focus on your path and do what you want to do.
Speaker #0
And I think it's a, yeah, exactly what you said. No, but it's a very good point. And I just want to say that I have to say that within my colleagues and my bosses, and they've all said positive things, so nothing negative from their side. But I've heard sometimes some people that I used to work with or some people that I work with more far away that have made comments in terms of, Julie, you're so busy, you should just stop this piece. And then take more time to chill. It's not coming automatically from a bad way because I also have said before, I don't sleep enough, I don't take care of myself enough. And their mindset is to say, then stop this. And it's always this topic. So it's not coming so far from a place of negativity. I've had also some colleagues have said some very nice words, but the constant message that I've gotten from some people is to say, stop this to give more time to you. And I've... keep on telling them yet but this brings me joy this is my creative outlets this actually brings me this positive and extra energy in a way you know so this is something i don't want to stop so so far i've had not received that specific type of feedback from colleagues but i know that for some people as soon as you start doing something outside of the corporate and we'll do an episode specifically in regards to having a side hustle it's In some countries, it's well accepted. In some others, it's less accepted. In some corporations, of course, you have to be aware, no matter the corporation, that you shouldn't do a job that is linked outside, that is linked to your job in the company because this is a conflict of interest. That's for sure. But there is a lot of opportunity or things that you can do outside and that doesn't mean you're not fully committed to a corporation. But I've heard so many times from some people and I've seen also online. Some people mentioning the fact of like, oh, yes, someone doing outside, at some point they leave to do that job full time. And we are in a new generation. We're in a new setup. I do believe that it's not automatically a one-time-suit-all. That doesn't mean that something outside means being completely gone from corporation worlds. But also, I do believe that it's okay to be different and not to automatically want. the corporate ladder or you don't automatically want to be in a certain role that people want you to go or direction that people want you to go as mentioned this is also what happened to me right people wanted me to go a certain direction i said no and some accepted it and some didn't and i think it's important then in that context to say okay maybe the people that don't accept it either they change their mind and i'm happy to have them still around or they don't change their mind and i have to let them go. I thanked them for the time that they supported me but now it's not the same phase anymore. It doesn't fit anymore. And I think that's okay. But this is a difficult process. I think that we all have to experience in our own time, but we also have to accept and that can break some bond, that can break some network, some friendships, because we're not only talking about career, but also we can talk about personal life in that context. But it's a hard... moment to to let go and to define my circle is evolving with me evolving and remaining me as i grow potentially a direction that nobody expected me to go to right yeah a
Speaker #1
couple things i was going to say on that was um you've always been very busy you always do a lot i've already told you like stop doing this stop doing this is way too much you know but I listened to one of your episodes and you talked about, I can't remember the topic. I think maybe it was the first one. It was around, you know, like you don't really want to sit on the couch and, you know, not do anything. You want to go do stuff. And it's totally fine if you want to go do stuff. It's also totally fine if you want to sit on the couch and not do anything. I think you've always been someone who wants to take up new hobbies and learn new things. And I think it's personal growth. I think that was the topic. I appreciate that about you. I think that I can resonate with that as well to go, I want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. I will do that. And I think I also have a guilt streak that I should be going and doing stuff. But I think I've come to a place in my life where for me, I think recharging and having me time is quite important to be able to go out and be the best version of myself. And also, you know, like, as you mentioned, social media and stuff and or LinkedIn or like whatever it is, you see all these people that you think you should be doing things. You feel pressured that you should be doing things as other people are doing things, right? Like content is curated. And also, why does it matter? Just do whatever you want to do and stop looking at other people to think that you should be doing something more. It just, it's this vicious circle and cycle. None of that helps you to be confident or happy or anything. And I do agree that you do put a lot on your plate, but I think you should just do exactly as you want to do. Because at the end of the day, I think that if it makes you happy, you should do it. That's all it is, right? This podcast makes you happy. Do it. Don't let anyone tell you to. And if it's giving you more energy or like you're tired from it, but it's giving you this, it's like a good tired, do it. If it's taking away from your life, don't do it. I can just do anything that you do in life. It takes away, it sucks out your energy and you don't feel rejuvenated. You know, don't do it. And the other thing I was going to say, one part of what you were saying was around, you know, life for me. And I've said this a few times. I think we've talked about this. Life is about chapters, you know. Some chapters are short. Some friendships are short. Some friendships are long like ours. We have a long chapter.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
I had a very, very long chapter, you know, with one of my best friends from high school. And we're not friends anymore because I think we came to a point. point where we realized or I realized that I was just like we just don't really have a lot in common anymore and we just kind of fell out of touch and we just haven't been in contact anymore so sad you know but at the same time like life as a as a whole book is quite long one massive book of many many chapters so whether you look at it from a job perspective or like a career or whether it's personal friendships relationships whatever it might be you want to have longer chapters that of those good times right but then if those chapters end you just got to go i really appreciate that whole chapter what i was doing or who i was with or friendships or whatever and i'll always look back and fondly but change is inevitable regardless it's got to be okay with change because it's it's coming you can't stop it right yes and so circling back to being your your authentic self, there is no point in... not being who you want to be and showing up the best version of yourself in any situation whether it's for your personal because it'll change anyways life will change chapters will change you just got the only consistent thing in your life is your choice and your yeah your ability to choose who you want to be and to choose how you show that's
Speaker #0
it choice is always with you that's constant sorry yeah and i think it's definitely a good point and very well said right Things are changing around you. But at the end of the day, you decide who you want to be and you decide for you what this means today and how you want to show up each day. So I think it's a very good point. I think we could talk for hours and I think I could keep going on all the topics we've discussed. But I just want to wrap it up on the topic around authenticity because that's our focus. But I'm already buzzing with other topics to talk about. and bring you on further because we already touched on, you know, about wellness, about topics, such as also what makes us recharge. And I think it's very different from one person to the others. And I would love also to do some follow-ups. This is why I keep doing this book. It keeps on buzzing with new topics. A lot more to discuss. One piece that you consider it the most positive element of it. What is the number one thing?
Speaker #1
you have it in mind that's fine just so do you mean like the by showing up authentically in the way that was yeah what has been the number one benefit of doing that yes so they say was it a three i can't remember what it's called but there's three things like the most important things is the hierarchy of needs or whatever it is around your home your career in your personal life or something so i think my career my career has been kind of like this sometimes and so i think and you know when i decided to kind of have a mindset shift a little while back my career has been a lot it's been a lot better i've shown up and just been happy every day at work and then as a result and also like any value in just doing what I'm doing, you know, but that really helped me kind of do well in my career. And as a result, that positively impacted my personal life. So I think right now, even though I'm actually moving out in like three weeks, so my home is a little, but I have a new place. That's good. But I think like I said to my partner as well, a little while back a few months ago, I was like, I'm so happy. Career, personal, home, all of them were in line. And I think... that is probably the number one thing that positive impact that having a mindset shift to be my authentic self you know has done is that it's it's realigned my hierarchy of needs nice yeah yeah it's been good it's hard it's hard to get all those in alignment i don't think i've really ever had that 100 and i think i've and i said to my friends and like family and partner a few months back. but I've definitely am the most happy I've been in my life. And it sounds so cheesy, but everything just kind of fall into place. And the only thing that I can attribute it to. Really just having that mindset shift and, you know, just changing my behaviors. And it has positively impacted my work life, I think.
Speaker #0
That's awesome. That it really kind of brought everything together and created that sense of, it also feels like a sense of calm in the way you're sharing it. Kind of like you're at peace. And that's definitely reflecting, I would say. also in the way you speak in the way you we exchange today so i think it's amazing i'm so happy for you i hope to find that authenticity very soon i think i have it sometime but sometime i go back in the old way so finding that inner peace and finding this this feeling of uh yeah of calmness of being aligned with who i am is something i'm thriving for and i'm sure that many other people are feeling the same as either they are already like you or they are on the journey like me or maybe they are just starting but doesn't matter where where we are it's about trying to move toward this direction if it feels like it's the right time to look into it to take care of that goal but it's a it's very inspiring discussion we had today so thank you so much for
Speaker #1
go ahead yes okay so what i'm what i've been talking about it is not easy i'm not saying that just like one day is like that And that's it. Regardless, everything takes time. You just got to make a choice. Whatever that is, right? So my challenge to you and Julie is start small. For the next three months, Julie, show up to work and have a smile on your face. Actually, just in general, force yourself to smile. Even if you don't feel happy, just do it. And as a result, when you interact with people as well, just be bubbly. Be happy. Fake it. Fake it if you have to. Pretend. I don't care. Do it for three months. See me just start with a, see where it gets to, see where it gets you. Because honestly, what I'm really, what I'm getting at is if you are able to do that, I'm really curious is when you do get feedback from whoever in a month, three months or whatever, in terms of typical reviews or whatever it is, I want to hear their feedback because what is really easy to identify is negativity. And that's really easy for someone to easily grab onto and then go from there. But. when you're positive all the time it's actually not quite hard to find negativity it's weird so i don't know probably my challenge to you is to show up and fake it if you have to because once you start training yourself to do it it kind of becomes part of you weird
Speaker #0
it's a atomic habit you know like i i was reading this book this year we're still in 2025 when we're recording but this will be released in 2026 But in 2025, I read The Atomic Habit. And I said, actually, this is the book of the year for me and really helped me a lot. And I guess this is a habit to put in place and starting showing up every day with a smile on your face. And as you mentioned, also, even if something is hard, still keeping a smile, because I also see it in my personal life. I look at today, I had a moment when I was running and I had a very bad, I was not happy with how I was running for some reason, don't ask. And automatically you could tell I was not happy and you can see it on my face and potentially having the smile even though it's it's not going the way to plan potentially can bring you back a positive mindset for the day so definitely something to try on which I will put as an extra challenge with my very busy life but
Speaker #1
I think this will bring a lot of value overall alternatively take an elastic band put in your wrist every time you have a negative thought go when you're running it's not that way i know that's your that's your plan b your option b let's start with learning if it doesn't work i'll let you know things like positive reinforcements thank
Speaker #0
you so much again and that's a wrap for today's episodes of the pulse If something resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. So drop me a message on Instagram, LinkedIn, or leave a review wherever you're listening. Your feedback fuels this community and I much appreciate it. Make sure to follow The Pulse on your favorite podcast platforms and on social media so you never miss an episode. And if you're craving for more, check out the show notes for links, resources, and ways to connect. Until next time, keep trusting your journey. because course happen one step at a time see you soon bye

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

What You’ll Learn:

How to embrace authenticity in the workplace without fear.
Why corporate culture can challenge your true self—and how to navigate it.
The importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.
How to handle feedback and criticism with confidence and grace.

CTA: "Tag someone who needs to hear this! What’s one way you stay authentic at work? Share in the comments!"

Timestamps:

05:45: Rhys’ Career Journey—From Germany to New Zealand
12:30: What Does Authenticity at Work Mean?
20:10: Handling Feedback and Criticism
28:00: The Power of Letting Go and Embracing Change
35:45: Rhys’ Challenge: Show Up with a Smile

Follow The Pulse on IG: The Pulse Podcast

My Website: www.juliehalbert.com

Disclaimer:

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Every two weeks, I will bring you a regular dose of inspiration, practical tips, and regular stories about personal development, wellness, and career growth. Whether you're looking for motivation, fresh perspective, or just a reminder that you're not alone, you are in the right place. So welcome and let's dive in. Hi, welcome to the both. I'm Julie, your host. And today, this is our first guest episode. So I'm very happy to have one of my closest friends here today on the podcast. So hi, Reese. Thank you so much for joining. And I would love to start. right away by having you present yourself to the audience.
Speaker #1
My name is Rhys. I live in New Zealand, but Julie and I met way back when in Germany. I remember the moment actually we became friends.
Speaker #0
Yes, me too.
Speaker #1
Way back in 2013. Yeah, Julie and I lived in Germany for six years. We worked in the same company and we were friends outside of work. I then moved to New Zealand. years but julie and i kept in touch uh since since then so it's about 13 13 years now so yeah all the ups and downs personal professional yeah we do lean on each other sometimes just for some you know advice or emotional support or whatever it might be always just kind of a an ear or shoulder here to listen or a shoulder definitely exactly
Speaker #0
Yeah, it's been already 13 years and I've learned a lot from you, I think, in my life. And as you said, we've been definitely there for each other, supporting each other to the ups and down, also cheering each other career wise, I would say. So I'm so happy to have you as my first guest, also supporting me in this journey, in creating the podcast and making it easier for me as well to do this for the first time, having someone that I know I can. feel relaxed let's put it that way so thank you so much for this just stop and yes i have to i have to stop laughing serious right we are serious on this podcast it's all about growth and gross serious topic no but overall today what we wanted to talk about is about being our authentic self in the workplace and in life in general but also in the workplace in that context and before we go into details i wanted to hear a little bit About your career journey and about what have you gone through all throughout your now? How many years of career is that for you?
Speaker #1
21 years.
Speaker #0
Wow. I guess.
Speaker #1
Probably different levels of professional. Yeah, probably my specific career, my career path has been about 14, 15.
Speaker #0
Yeah, right. Started. I think we all have, you know, when we are a student, those. student jobs or like the one that we start a bit earlier on but this kind of main career path starts right out of uni in some ways so a bit later and you've said already prior that you've lived in germany um i think it would be definitely good also to to hear the different roles or the different part of where you've gone through in germany you don't have to go through a lot of of details but How did you make it also from Germany to New Zealand, right? Tell us a little bit about that from a curious standpoint.
Speaker #1
Oh, gosh. It makes me remember way back when I was a little boy and I was about two years old. I used to crawl out of the crib and I used to run down the street and go wait on the doorstep of our neighbors for them to let me in and feed me breakfast. It's so bad. Or I'd go downstairs and I'd eat butter. I've always been someone who just kind of gets something in his head. has a goal and goes for it and makes it happen. So I think for me, I've actually lived in a few countries. So I've lived in Germany for the longest period outside of New Zealand now, but I lived in the UK. I lived in Denmark. I lived in the Netherlands. I lived in the Greek Islands various months, years for different reasons, whether it's work or education or for fun. Oh, Bali also. And I think I just kind of get something in my head, but just go for it. I think we can get to this a little later around fear and confidence and stuff. But in terms of my career journey, it's always been relatively in marketing, whether it's straight up marketing, whether you're doing campaigns, for example, strategy, or you're doing things like a subset of marketing, so like retail marketing. communications, whether it's internal or external communications, it all has something to do kind of a little bit with storytelling and marketing in different various formats. So that's been pretty much my career the whole time. Yeah, my journey has been definitely up and down. I'm sure everyone's has. I think what comes with living abroad and making these big bold moves is you tend to enter into these different positions or companies or industries or countries and everything is different. There's no one set kind of rule or pattern to when you're moving from one job to the next or different companies or different industries. And so you really have to kind of get in and understand what's the culture like? Who are these people? What's the actual job asking you to do? And I think sometimes I've definitely failed. I think sometimes I was like, oh, I really want to do this. And I realized that it actually wasn't really for me. My skillset didn't really match very well. And I think you always really want to try hard and kind of do your best. potentially be a perfectionist or do really well, whatever that is, whatever your goal is. And sometimes you stay too long. And sometimes you realize actually people, you have your own choice, whether you're going to leave on your own, or sometimes people make those choices for you. And I think the best and most successful roles I've had are ones that really fit my skill set. Really, I work with really amazing people. The culture is really good. The work is challenging, really able to add value in areas where I feel that I thought I could do something really well. I probably didn't do as well as I could have, but I think there's a lot of factors that play into any kind of role or any kind of career choice that you make. And no one's ever perfect. No one ever succeeds a hundred percent in every role they do. So I think having a bit of grace for yourself and getting from one place to the next, wherever that goal may be, I think you need to find that strike that balance between what you want, the goals, the career, and then also just, yes, something so hard on yourself, you know?
Speaker #0
This is why I also wanted to have you on the podcast, and I'm sure we could have more topics to talk about. So maybe we'll dive some more, because you've experienced so many countries, so many cultures, so many different environments. You've changed jobs, even if you stayed in the same field. So you've viewed different parts of it, and you had to adapt, and you had to learn the ways, the ins and outs, what you could do, what you couldn't do. really it's a full adaptation journey for you and I'm very impressed with how you've gone through it and so today I know we have to focus on authenticity but it's definitely something that I would also love to to talk further with you on this topic of adaptability and flexibility but I think it's also balanced quite well with what it means to be authentic and how to be authentic in the workplace when things evolve and things get so different from one place to the others and how do you adapt to it is is a component so what i would love to hear from you is what does being authentic at work means to you what what does it mean for you to be your authentic self at work basically yeah
Speaker #1
i think that i think i'm probably just taking a step back first is to you really need to think and be self-actualized and to understand what... what is your authentic self for you? Because there is no one size fits all. So you need to kind of sit down and go, who do I want to be? What do I actually, who am I as a person? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What can I bring to a job? What can I bring to my personal life, good and bad? And you just really need to understand, you know, the pros about yourself and who you want to be. What do you want to exemplify? How do you want to show up? You need to understand what those things are and you need to go for it. You need to... live and breathe whatever those are and on the flip side you also need to recognize that you're not the best at everything you might be really good at something but at the end of the day when you're with a company it's really a when you're in a role in a company you're there to do a job which means you need to be really good and the best at the job that you've been given you don't need to be the best in the company you just need to be best at what you're doing because we paid for the job. right? And so everything else is a bonus. And so when you show up as your authentic self and being the best person that you are, whatever that be, it all kind of falls into place. I think there's always this balance between being your authentic self for yourself and being your authentic self for what's right for the company and for your role. So everyone wears masks regardless. You can't just be 100% your authentic self in your personal life at your job. No one is, right? Like that's. You're not there to be, this is not like your personal fun time. This is not your personal therapy session. This is not your personal anything. Like you are there to go in and do your job, right? I think what for me particularly was there was a... probably a place in my life, in my career that I was like, I need a mindset shift. This is not working for me. I'm not happy in my personal life. I'm not happy in my job. And everything's kind of bleeding into one. And I just need to stop and just really think about what's the right thing for me and who do I want to be? It sounds like you're like a little kid, like who do you want to be when you grow up? It kind of is like that. You kind of go, actually, I want to be happy. I want to add value. I want to stop being negative. I want to stop myself from thinking X, Y, Z. I want to stop being a people pleaser because I've been a people pleaser my whole life until just a little while ago. And when I decide to go, do I care about X, Y, Z, which I typically care about? Do I care about if I said the wrong thing or do I care about this person doesn't like me? I said, actually, I don't care. What I really care about is actually showing up, being challenged, adding value. making as much money as possible for the value that I'm adding, you know, so I can afford the things that I want to do in my personal life, so I can have a good work life balance. And I think that really worked for me, like I just show up every day happy. And I'm more happy in my personal life, confident, whenever any kind of self doubt creeps in, and I go, no, no time for that. You know, I think fear is a really big part of it, which I said earlier, I think, regardless of whatever you do in your life, whether you move countries, whether you pick up a new hobby. a sport or whether you're introverted and then you put into an extroverted position, whether you present to present something to a thousand people or two people, whatever it might be, fear has no place in life for me, because what is the point if you only have one life, for example, what is the point of being scared about something? It's really, really hard to not be scared. And it's really, really hard not to be negative. It's really hard. It's really easy to be those things. And I just think that for me, a challenge is always really important. It helps me grow. I know that you talked about having a growth mindset. It's a really big topic, has been a really big topic in the last little while. And I think that you need to decide what it is that you really want out of life. What is it you want in your career? And you need to remember every day to think, I want this, I'm going to get this. This is what I want. You got to be selfish. so that you can show up for your best version of yourself at work. And everything seemed to fall into place for me. So I'm going to try to keep doing it. It's really hard every day.
Speaker #0
No, it's so interesting what you're saying, because for me, I've been trying to do the same and to be a bit more fearless and not to worry too much about judgment of people. But I feel like it's creeping back in. on a regular basis and it's making me feel like I'm not truly being able to be myself in the in the workplace or I'm very very harshly I have to say also any negative feedback I take it deeply in term of I'm not good enough and so it's important that I'm currently in the journey of working on it because part of growth is to say hey you know what as you mentioned is is really to be your authentic self and to feel like Thank you. okay, I'm going to give my best of who I am in the workplace for that moment, but it's not everything. That's also what I hear from your words. There is life next to it and you're going to give 100% for the job, but you're not going to take everything in or be fearless that if you do something, it's going to automatically have a negative impact if it doesn't fit into whatever someone is thinking or someone's perspective, right? So I think, and... Do you have any techniques to avoid having it coming back in?
Speaker #1
Yeah, there's a few techniques that I think that just, that does work for me. I think one thing that I try to do is I just try to smile. Smile, like, just all the time. I remember I used to do this in my early 20s. And I remember just smiling. I think that it's infectious. I think that you just train yourself and you force yourself to smile. And I think sometimes just people want to be understood. And so I think by smiling in your own time and at work, it does wonders. Another one is kind of relates back to people pleasing. And then also thinking, oh, I said this or I did this. And then you go and you're outside the conversation and you go round and round and round and round in your head. And you cause your own negativity. You cause your own pain. And so what I try to do is I go, if something creeps in, it sounds bad, but I go. doesn't matter doesn't matter it doesn't matter or i go and it's true actually Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? You made one comment or you, I don't know, wrote one sentence that didn't make sense, like whatever it might be at work. It's such a minute little thing in life, a very long life. And also, if you're in a corporate environment, for example, you are one of many. You are one of doing many, many, many projects, many decks, many slides, all the things. People make mistakes. And if you just, if you're human and you're authentic, you kind of get grace with that. If you're an asshole, no one's going to like you. No one's going to appreciate or help you. No one's going to, and people are going to jump on you for when you make mistakes. And it's a little bit of a diversion, but one time in my career, once worked for a company, a great company. And they said, one of the things they said to me, like kind of a private, somewhat senior leader was like, our culture is we don't want to work with assholes. So if you're an asshole, we don't want to work with you. So that's whether it's clients, whether it's people at the job or whatever it is. And those were the best people because everyone was just there and everyone was just happy to be there. And everyone was just like really, really smart, really hardworking. They could take jokes. I think that's a big thing. If you're sensitive, you can't take a joke. Or if you don't have good banter. And I think that's probably what you were saying before as well. Like you just have to strip it away. You have to strip away what people are saying to you because. you're the one who's feeling your your way you're the one who's feeling insecure but i think it's also back to like we were talking about people please before this quote you know around you know this person said on tiktok was like for the people for those people pleasers have you ever stopped and asked yourself do you like the person who you're trying to please because if you don't like them they don't like you what does it matter that's it right so paraphrasing but you know i think when you sit around people um giving you feedback and you're taking it quite partially lately, I think you just need to just go wall up. It does not matter. This does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I care about this? Do I care about this person? Like whatever that, whatever helps you to kind of just regulate, emotionally regulate, because the one thing in a workplace that really does help is when you are in control of your emotions. And if you are in control of your emotions at work and you need to go home and cry about it or whatever it might be, that helps, do it. you do you, right? Your authentic self. I think it's probably what I'm getting at. I'm meandering, but you do you, what is right for you? Be who you are and what you want to be. And I'm not saying you're this person, but someone at this other company, if they're an asshole, be an asshole. No one's going to like you or no one's, you're not going to work with people really well. You're not going to be able to collaborate. You're probably not going to stay for very long because you're an asshole. So let them be an asshole. You know, focus on yourself. Someone's coming at you and saying something and
Speaker #0
constructive way or as being direct or whatever it is you're just gonna go thank you very much thank you appreciate it yeah and it's it's a very it's a very good point and talking about you know this positivity around you know you have to have a good banter you have to be positive etc have you seen a difference depending on all the countries you lived where from companies to companies or from country to country the culture was different around that because from my perspective Thank you. being mainly my career has been mainly in Germany I do feel like I have depending also on the people I worked with sometimes I worked with very international teams sometimes teams that were more German and depending on the teams I've had moments where I could have this more banter this more like chill environment and some other moments where it felt very much all about how can we improve how can we be better and always giving that feedback where There is improvement, which on one end allow you for growth and allow you to get better. But on the other side can become very, very heavy. And some time can really take you down because you just hear the negative. If out of a, you know, one hour meeting, you've done 50, like 58 minutes of good and two minutes where you mess up slightly because there was a, I don't know, a missing on the slide or whatever. And this is the only thing that is pointed out to you over time. it starts to take a toll on you, I would say. And this is, I had the case before when it's taken a toll on me. And unfortunately, I feel sometimes I don't hear enough of the positive. So also myself, now I make the effort when I give feedback to people to also give them the positive feedback. And sometimes I even do sessions fully focused on the positive. And I even have to mention because one of my colleagues gave me an amazing feedback, a very positive feedback that I was inspiring to him. Before I went on holiday, which was very, very good to hear and made me feel amazing. But then I realized sometimes within the year, I don't hear enough positive. Not because the company and the people are not great and positive and good people and they're not assholes at all. It's more that. They are just focused so much on improving that they focus on giving you the negative feedback for you to grow. And I feel like sometimes it has the revert effect. So I would love to hear if you feel it has had an impact depending on the country you've worked in and the culture on that topic.
Speaker #1
Yeah, I can resonate with Germany, obviously, because we worked there together. There's a few things in what you had said, I think. One main thing is not every leader is going to be a good leader. Not every leader is going to give you good feedback for whatever reason, either they're too busy, they're not good people, people, leaders, they're good at their job, but you also have to recognize that not everyone is the same way. So I think if you do see your leader giving praise, other people, not you, I think that's a different story. But in general, I think, I think when you, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta do. It's hard to say. You got to do your job for you. Your career is about your career. If you're, you might have a good manager who's giving you praise and that's great. That's, that's more rare actually than you would think. But if you're not getting what you need from your manager in terms of praise, you've just got to tell yourself what you're doing is a good job because it's about you. It's not about them. And I think relying on others and having expectations of others to do things in the way that you want to do or that you need, you're never going to get what you want. You're going to always be disappointed. And that's also one thing I kind of recently kind of decided to change was stop expecting things from people. If you want to have something or expect something, do it yourself. Or don't care. Just let it go. I don't know. It's easier to say than to actually do. I know. Going back to working in Germany, naturally, the German language, I learned it. You've learned it. It is black and white. It is direct. And so when it comes to translating. from German to English, the fact is it's going to be direct. And so I think, I don't know if that's what you were kind of referring to in terms of sometimes the communication be quite direct and take it to heart more, or if it's actually the actual content, I don't know, the actual content and giving you your feedback is not enough praise, probably maybe a balance of both. But I'd say Germany is a hard place to work if you're not German, which is just different. That's all. I don't think I need anything biased. My own personal experience, I've gotten praise. I've gotten direct feedback. And I think at the time, it's been a few years now, but I think there's been times where I've had really, a really bad leader who said pretty terrible things to me. So I think that was one case. But then I had a really amazing, two really amazing people who were really positive and really gave me feedback. One was like really tough love, but I respected that. The other one was like really...
Speaker #0
you know giving praise and shouting my praise and wouldn't give me would really give me like negative feedback so like it really just depends it's not a one-size-fits-all not and i fully agree with you and nowhere me trying to say that is automatically just the german culture because i also have to say that i don't think it's only german i would also consider the french culture to be very more the glass half empty that half full and so looking more at the negative and i I think. Germans are the same, and it's maybe more of a European culture. I mean, European, maybe also in the Nordic countries, I would say it's potentially similar. So those also potentially can impact some ways of how this is communicated. But I also have had some amazing German leaders, have had some that were more difficult. I have some stories also, some very harsh one. So it's not automatically related directly to the... to the country and I know it's more focused on the person, but sometimes as you mentioned, the way potentially it's said because of the directness of the translation, we're talking about international companies that have people speaking multiple languages. So the way they express themselves, even me at the end of the day, I'm French first, right? So even English technically is my second language. So potentially sometimes the way I speak might be differently interpreted by someone who is. German or even American or English, whomever and wherever they're coming from. But that potentially this diversity and this melting pot, because people are speaking, coming from a different culture standpoint, can impact the way you interpret it and can potentially have that negative effect if you're already someone that is sensitive, I would say, to this type of thing. So I think this is... Definitely a one-on-one case scenarios. But as you mentioned, we have to take care of it ourselves. It's on our own hands to take care of it and to say, hey, you know what, I'm going to focus on me. I will listen. I think one of my leaders also said to me, you decide if you keep the feedback or if you just let it pass by. You don't have to take every feedback. And that is definitely a fair point. I have to say that I'm still in the middle. It comes in. It doesn't come out right away, unfortunately. So I just... Yeah, but it's, I think this impacts this authenticity feeling because you feel judged. And when you stop that judgment, that's where you can feel I can be myself the way I want to be, right?
Speaker #1
Yeah, and I think there's always, everything is interconnected in roles and whether you're corporate or a smaller company, meaning that when it comes time to give you feedback, whether it's on a regular basis or whether it's... to your bonus or whatever it is from an HR admin standpoint, they have to give you something. They have to give you positive. They have to give you negative, whatever you want to call it, things to work on because at the end of the day, it's also financial. So you're never going to get a positive feedback 100% that you get 200% bonus, for example, if you're in that particular case. So there's always reasons why. And so that's why I feel like don't take things personally. Because there's always a reason why you're getting feedback, whether it's because that person wants to give you feedback, whether they have to give you feedback, or whether it's, you know, also just tied to the company guidelines that the leader is told by HR to do this or do that, you know, so that's why it doesn't matter. Nothing is really real in the end. And it's only one little small little piece in life, tiny. So that's why if someone gives you negative feedback or something to work on, take and go. Thank you. I appreciate that. go on your own time, reflect on it and go, do I agree with this? Or do I don't agree with this? Do I not agree with this? And you decide, yeah, then you've got to make a game plan. You got to show up differently. If you're like, actually, and be really honest with yourself, right? Don't be like, you know, F this person. I'm not going to listen to them. That's not, that's not being authentic, right? You got to go, this person has told me this, strip the emotion away. This person has told me this, do I agree with it or not? And you got to make your case, your internal case to go, yes, no. No, I don't. Yes. Okay. I'm going to make a change. It's all about you. At the end of the day, you're the, if you're the one who's driving your own career, you're the one who is, has feared insecure. You're the one who, not you, but you're the one who is confident. You're like, you're the one who's self-doubt. Like all the things that are inside you are you, no one else. No one's thinking about you. Someone told me that actually once in a harsh context, but like, stop thinking about the conversation you've had. because no one's thinking about you. No one's, that person's not thinking about the conversation you're having. They're at home having fun or doing whatever, but who cares? You're the one who's stewing and who's like creating a story. So why are you giving that person this whatever negative conversation? Why are you giving that person any more energy or time? Conserve your energy and time for yourself. It's really hard.
Speaker #0
That's hard, but I think it's a very, it's a very good point, right? At the end of the day, it's about you and there is a bit of... selfishness but it's important to have that selfishness and that element of like okay the same way as other people don't think about you after you shouldn't think about the same conversation after as well and just move on and decide what you want for you for your life and how you want to show up and who you want to be in that environment and in general in life and what's important to you right i think sometimes it's difficult because you can get so many information from social media, from your colleague, from things that can influence you in term of, or maybe it could be interesting to go a certain direction or to go another one, but you have to always constantly recenter back to who am I and what do I want for me? And potentially what I want for me is not what other people want for me as well, but also what other people want for themselves. It's not one size fits all. We are all individuals and we all have our own paths, right? But Do you think that being in a corporate environment, having this mentality is sometimes kind of going against what a corporation is expecting of you? Because very often I do feel like people expect you to be fully dedicated to a corporation, to stay within the corporation. And I do understand that mindset, you know, that people want to keep great people, right? They want to keep people in, they want to keep... the one that are delivering. But at the same time, this can sometimes impact that if you decide to do something outside or if you decide to not do the career path that is expected of you, that might make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can give you a few examples. I had the case once that I went for a certain job and someone told me, now I don't get your career path. And in a way, a leader was telling me this in a way kind of like, what are you doing with your career it's like you're messing up and i do understand that from that person's perspective yes based on what they wanted from me it makes sense but what they wanted from me and what i wanted was not the same thing and this is where it became a bit tense also for me because I felt very uncomfortable in terms of am I messing up am I doing making the wrong decision and in a way you know doing this podcast some people telling me maybe you should stop because you should focus on other things and I'm not doing this during work hours I'm doing things fully outside for myself it's a hobby but it's something that is inspiring to me but some people view it as like conflicting with corporate which for me has zero conflict And so that's, again, challenging me in terms of people from the workplace are judging me from doing something related to work, related to career, but not during my work time, completely separate. And that is like potentially a conflict for my corporate job that I currently have and my career path overall. I've heard before, Julia, you look at your LinkedIn profile, I don't understand you. And it's very tough sometimes. Because it's me being authentic. It's my choices based on what I want and based on what feels good. But at the same time, getting those feedback are challenging me sometimes to think, am I doing the right thing? And I think I am for my own, but it's really challenging the status quo and my overall feeling about it. So I would love to hear your take on this.
Speaker #1
Yes, an interesting one. I had a recruiter one time tell me that. My career path didn't make sense for that job that I was applying for. But she was specifically talking about the job titles. It was for digital marketing manager. And my job titles didn't say digital, But I had digital marketing experience in my actual jobs within what I actually did, my responsibilities. So I thought it was really interesting. And I was like, you know what? I think you're wrong. So I went out and I did a digital marketing diploma. And I did that at my own time. And then I add that to my resume. Okay. emailing them back and said, hey, why didn't I let you know that I got a digital marketing diploma? Thanks for your feedback. It was like way back when, it was like years ago. But I think, don't let anyone tell you what you should do. And I think you are right that it is a little bit, you're in a bit of a rock and a hard place because you do work for a corporate organization. And if they have policies around that, or if they have an issue with that, then that's something you need to decide for yourself. because you need to decide whether it's a company that you want to work for, if they have those policies, if that's something that makes you happy. Not just you specifically, I'm just saying in general. If there's conflicting, you know, views, viewpoints around what's allowed, what's not allowed, or personal time, or whatever, then that's something you need to really think about what you want for yourself again. Your specific topic around this podcast, I agree, it's also your own personal time. I think also that you have to be quite conscious of what you're actually saying. You know, you actually do work for a company and myself as well. I'm never going to talk about, you know, my specific company, my specific roles, just generically, right? And I would say that a lot of people are jealous. A lot of people are fearful and they don't think that they would have the guts to do what you're doing. So they come from a place of negativity. They come from a place of fear. jealousy, whatever that might be. And they don't want to see you succeed. And if they think that you're saying something without your podcast is talking about something that might be conflicting with your job, they should take a listen and then decide for themselves, but also like, stop judging. Like, and you just do you, Julie, honestly, tell them to F off. Or no, you just say, actually, you know what you're saying? Let me say, Hey, thanks so much. I appreciate your feedback, but it really makes me happy. And I do my personal time, but see ya. You know, like don't give people time and energy who don't fit into your life and your ethos and your aura or like whatever it is, right? And I think that's also we need to decide as well in terms of a mindset shift and being positive and have a positive outlook in life. Strip away the toxic people in your life that don't add value. That's it. You know, I had to do that as well recently. We're just like, you know what? I'm thinking about these people. I'm always the one who's reaching out to them and checking in on them. I'm just going to stop. reach out to them and see what happens. Never heard from them in three years. I was just going to finish off and just say like noise, there's lots of noise out there, whether it's social media, whether it's people at work, there's always a motive. There's always a reason that it's just like, strip it away, go away, you know, strip away the noise, strip away the toxicity, focus on you, focus on your path and do what you want to do.
Speaker #0
And I think it's a, yeah, exactly what you said. No, but it's a very good point. And I just want to say that I have to say that within my colleagues and my bosses, and they've all said positive things, so nothing negative from their side. But I've heard sometimes some people that I used to work with or some people that I work with more far away that have made comments in terms of, Julie, you're so busy, you should just stop this piece. And then take more time to chill. It's not coming automatically from a bad way because I also have said before, I don't sleep enough, I don't take care of myself enough. And their mindset is to say, then stop this. And it's always this topic. So it's not coming so far from a place of negativity. I've had also some colleagues have said some very nice words, but the constant message that I've gotten from some people is to say, stop this to give more time to you. And I've... keep on telling them yet but this brings me joy this is my creative outlets this actually brings me this positive and extra energy in a way you know so this is something i don't want to stop so so far i've had not received that specific type of feedback from colleagues but i know that for some people as soon as you start doing something outside of the corporate and we'll do an episode specifically in regards to having a side hustle it's In some countries, it's well accepted. In some others, it's less accepted. In some corporations, of course, you have to be aware, no matter the corporation, that you shouldn't do a job that is linked outside, that is linked to your job in the company because this is a conflict of interest. That's for sure. But there is a lot of opportunity or things that you can do outside and that doesn't mean you're not fully committed to a corporation. But I've heard so many times from some people and I've seen also online. Some people mentioning the fact of like, oh, yes, someone doing outside, at some point they leave to do that job full time. And we are in a new generation. We're in a new setup. I do believe that it's not automatically a one-time-suit-all. That doesn't mean that something outside means being completely gone from corporation worlds. But also, I do believe that it's okay to be different and not to automatically want. the corporate ladder or you don't automatically want to be in a certain role that people want you to go or direction that people want you to go as mentioned this is also what happened to me right people wanted me to go a certain direction i said no and some accepted it and some didn't and i think it's important then in that context to say okay maybe the people that don't accept it either they change their mind and i'm happy to have them still around or they don't change their mind and i have to let them go. I thanked them for the time that they supported me but now it's not the same phase anymore. It doesn't fit anymore. And I think that's okay. But this is a difficult process. I think that we all have to experience in our own time, but we also have to accept and that can break some bond, that can break some network, some friendships, because we're not only talking about career, but also we can talk about personal life in that context. But it's a hard... moment to to let go and to define my circle is evolving with me evolving and remaining me as i grow potentially a direction that nobody expected me to go to right yeah a
Speaker #1
couple things i was going to say on that was um you've always been very busy you always do a lot i've already told you like stop doing this stop doing this is way too much you know but I listened to one of your episodes and you talked about, I can't remember the topic. I think maybe it was the first one. It was around, you know, like you don't really want to sit on the couch and, you know, not do anything. You want to go do stuff. And it's totally fine if you want to go do stuff. It's also totally fine if you want to sit on the couch and not do anything. I think you've always been someone who wants to take up new hobbies and learn new things. And I think it's personal growth. I think that was the topic. I appreciate that about you. I think that I can resonate with that as well to go, I want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. I will do that. And I think I also have a guilt streak that I should be going and doing stuff. But I think I've come to a place in my life where for me, I think recharging and having me time is quite important to be able to go out and be the best version of myself. And also, you know, like, as you mentioned, social media and stuff and or LinkedIn or like whatever it is, you see all these people that you think you should be doing things. You feel pressured that you should be doing things as other people are doing things, right? Like content is curated. And also, why does it matter? Just do whatever you want to do and stop looking at other people to think that you should be doing something more. It just, it's this vicious circle and cycle. None of that helps you to be confident or happy or anything. And I do agree that you do put a lot on your plate, but I think you should just do exactly as you want to do. Because at the end of the day, I think that if it makes you happy, you should do it. That's all it is, right? This podcast makes you happy. Do it. Don't let anyone tell you to. And if it's giving you more energy or like you're tired from it, but it's giving you this, it's like a good tired, do it. If it's taking away from your life, don't do it. I can just do anything that you do in life. It takes away, it sucks out your energy and you don't feel rejuvenated. You know, don't do it. And the other thing I was going to say, one part of what you were saying was around, you know, life for me. And I've said this a few times. I think we've talked about this. Life is about chapters, you know. Some chapters are short. Some friendships are short. Some friendships are long like ours. We have a long chapter.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
I had a very, very long chapter, you know, with one of my best friends from high school. And we're not friends anymore because I think we came to a point. point where we realized or I realized that I was just like we just don't really have a lot in common anymore and we just kind of fell out of touch and we just haven't been in contact anymore so sad you know but at the same time like life as a as a whole book is quite long one massive book of many many chapters so whether you look at it from a job perspective or like a career or whether it's personal friendships relationships whatever it might be you want to have longer chapters that of those good times right but then if those chapters end you just got to go i really appreciate that whole chapter what i was doing or who i was with or friendships or whatever and i'll always look back and fondly but change is inevitable regardless it's got to be okay with change because it's it's coming you can't stop it right yes and so circling back to being your your authentic self, there is no point in... not being who you want to be and showing up the best version of yourself in any situation whether it's for your personal because it'll change anyways life will change chapters will change you just got the only consistent thing in your life is your choice and your yeah your ability to choose who you want to be and to choose how you show that's
Speaker #0
it choice is always with you that's constant sorry yeah and i think it's definitely a good point and very well said right Things are changing around you. But at the end of the day, you decide who you want to be and you decide for you what this means today and how you want to show up each day. So I think it's a very good point. I think we could talk for hours and I think I could keep going on all the topics we've discussed. But I just want to wrap it up on the topic around authenticity because that's our focus. But I'm already buzzing with other topics to talk about. and bring you on further because we already touched on, you know, about wellness, about topics, such as also what makes us recharge. And I think it's very different from one person to the others. And I would love also to do some follow-ups. This is why I keep doing this book. It keeps on buzzing with new topics. A lot more to discuss. One piece that you consider it the most positive element of it. What is the number one thing?
Speaker #1
you have it in mind that's fine just so do you mean like the by showing up authentically in the way that was yeah what has been the number one benefit of doing that yes so they say was it a three i can't remember what it's called but there's three things like the most important things is the hierarchy of needs or whatever it is around your home your career in your personal life or something so i think my career my career has been kind of like this sometimes and so i think and you know when i decided to kind of have a mindset shift a little while back my career has been a lot it's been a lot better i've shown up and just been happy every day at work and then as a result and also like any value in just doing what I'm doing, you know, but that really helped me kind of do well in my career. And as a result, that positively impacted my personal life. So I think right now, even though I'm actually moving out in like three weeks, so my home is a little, but I have a new place. That's good. But I think like I said to my partner as well, a little while back a few months ago, I was like, I'm so happy. Career, personal, home, all of them were in line. And I think... that is probably the number one thing that positive impact that having a mindset shift to be my authentic self you know has done is that it's it's realigned my hierarchy of needs nice yeah yeah it's been good it's hard it's hard to get all those in alignment i don't think i've really ever had that 100 and i think i've and i said to my friends and like family and partner a few months back. but I've definitely am the most happy I've been in my life. And it sounds so cheesy, but everything just kind of fall into place. And the only thing that I can attribute it to. Really just having that mindset shift and, you know, just changing my behaviors. And it has positively impacted my work life, I think.
Speaker #0
That's awesome. That it really kind of brought everything together and created that sense of, it also feels like a sense of calm in the way you're sharing it. Kind of like you're at peace. And that's definitely reflecting, I would say. also in the way you speak in the way you we exchange today so i think it's amazing i'm so happy for you i hope to find that authenticity very soon i think i have it sometime but sometime i go back in the old way so finding that inner peace and finding this this feeling of uh yeah of calmness of being aligned with who i am is something i'm thriving for and i'm sure that many other people are feeling the same as either they are already like you or they are on the journey like me or maybe they are just starting but doesn't matter where where we are it's about trying to move toward this direction if it feels like it's the right time to look into it to take care of that goal but it's a it's very inspiring discussion we had today so thank you so much for
Speaker #1
go ahead yes okay so what i'm what i've been talking about it is not easy i'm not saying that just like one day is like that And that's it. Regardless, everything takes time. You just got to make a choice. Whatever that is, right? So my challenge to you and Julie is start small. For the next three months, Julie, show up to work and have a smile on your face. Actually, just in general, force yourself to smile. Even if you don't feel happy, just do it. And as a result, when you interact with people as well, just be bubbly. Be happy. Fake it. Fake it if you have to. Pretend. I don't care. Do it for three months. See me just start with a, see where it gets to, see where it gets you. Because honestly, what I'm really, what I'm getting at is if you are able to do that, I'm really curious is when you do get feedback from whoever in a month, three months or whatever, in terms of typical reviews or whatever it is, I want to hear their feedback because what is really easy to identify is negativity. And that's really easy for someone to easily grab onto and then go from there. But. when you're positive all the time it's actually not quite hard to find negativity it's weird so i don't know probably my challenge to you is to show up and fake it if you have to because once you start training yourself to do it it kind of becomes part of you weird
Speaker #0
it's a atomic habit you know like i i was reading this book this year we're still in 2025 when we're recording but this will be released in 2026 But in 2025, I read The Atomic Habit. And I said, actually, this is the book of the year for me and really helped me a lot. And I guess this is a habit to put in place and starting showing up every day with a smile on your face. And as you mentioned, also, even if something is hard, still keeping a smile, because I also see it in my personal life. I look at today, I had a moment when I was running and I had a very bad, I was not happy with how I was running for some reason, don't ask. And automatically you could tell I was not happy and you can see it on my face and potentially having the smile even though it's it's not going the way to plan potentially can bring you back a positive mindset for the day so definitely something to try on which I will put as an extra challenge with my very busy life but
Speaker #1
I think this will bring a lot of value overall alternatively take an elastic band put in your wrist every time you have a negative thought go when you're running it's not that way i know that's your that's your plan b your option b let's start with learning if it doesn't work i'll let you know things like positive reinforcements thank
Speaker #0
you so much again and that's a wrap for today's episodes of the pulse If something resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. So drop me a message on Instagram, LinkedIn, or leave a review wherever you're listening. Your feedback fuels this community and I much appreciate it. Make sure to follow The Pulse on your favorite podcast platforms and on social media so you never miss an episode. And if you're craving for more, check out the show notes for links, resources, and ways to connect. Until next time, keep trusting your journey. because course happen one step at a time see you soon bye

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Pulse

In each episode, we'll dive into stories of personal development, wellness, and career growth, offering insights and strategies to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely my own and are based on personal experiences and perspectives.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue to thrive, support one another, and live our best lives, both in and out of the workplace.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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