Speaker #0Hi, welcome to The Pulse, the podcast where we explore the heartbeat of life and work. I'm Julie, your host, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Every two weeks, I will bring you a regular dose of inspiration, practical tips, and regular stories about personal development, wellness, and career growth. Whether you're looking for motivation, fresh perspective or just a reminder that you're not alone, you are in the right place. So welcome and let's dive in. Hi, welcome to the Pulse. I hope you're doing well. Happy Sunday or whatever day it is for you on this new week. Today I would like to do an episode about confidence and I don't want to... just spend the time telling you how to be confident or whatever. I would like to talk to you more about, from a cultural standpoint, what I've learned from different countries, what confidence has been for me in my own journey, also as a woman, and maybe from that you can learn or define what confidence is to you and how to improve if you wish to improve your confidence. So, let's dive in There is two parts within confidence overall. From my perspective, there is a confidence that is internal inside you that you built that might not be visible to people that can be quiet, but that are ingrained in you. So how you feel, do you feel you are good enough in something? How much do you trust yourself? How much do you believe you are great at what you do that you are? I struggle with the word amazing, but we really have to think in that way sometimes, right? Like, how amazing are you? And I think this is something that you have for yourself internally, try to understand. And culture can have a big impact on it. Because I was born in an environment of French culture where we see the glass mostly, from my perspective, half empty. Not in a negative way, but in the sense that we think we can always improve. And therefore, it's difficult to think that we are the best or that we are at the top of our fields of our art or our environment overall. I would never say I'm the prettiest. I would never say I'm the smartest. I would never say I'm the best at tennis or running or whatever. I just think that I'm doing great, but I can do better. And that is overall the mindset that has been ingrained in me. Now, on top of it, having the fact that I went into the US. taught me the fact that within me actually has built that level of confidence that and again I'm talking internally that actually I am great at what I do and I'm not saying it's easy because even though you're being taught and you're being told over and over and over again in the US that you're amazing this is a bit of um at least in South Carolina Yeah. I was, it was very prominent that the teachers and the people around me were telling me how amazing I was, how great I was, and very positive words of reinforcement that were building this level of confidence internally, which was, which impacted this overall perspective of like, okay, yeah, I'm confident in who I am and what I can bring to the table and how great I am internal, like within me. But then you You go into a different culture again, and I went into Germany, which is closer to the French culture, with the glass half empty again. And then I was taught again that I could do better. And all those culture back and forth and those changes impacted how within me, how confident I feel about me as a person. And in no way does that make me feel not confident at all. It just means that depending on the topic, depending on the moment in time, depending on the you know environment I am in, I am affected and my level of confidence is affected by the cultural backgrounds around me. So here I'm talking internally because confidence is not only just showing, it's also how you feel within. Now, if we talk about the confidence that you portray outside to people, there is again an element of what is expected in different contexts. And if you talk to people from North America, they are more outspoken. They speak about their successes. It's highly visible. They show how great they are. And this is something that is in a way loud and visible. And this is part of their culture. And it's expected that you show this from you. And if you don't show that, then they will automatically kind of think that you're not confident. However, if you go to a country Like I would give the complete opposite in a way, Japan, which is a culture where you should not be loud overall. If you show that loudness, it will be taken as arrogance. If you show that you think you are the best and you are amazing, then it will really show this arrogant element will go against you. So it's important to, within that environment, understand what is expected of you when it comes to showing that confidence. I'll give you another example. Now imagine you're in an interview and you're interviewing in a company. You have to understand who are the people in front of you in an international environment. Where is the company base? Who are the type of people in front of you? No matter what in an interview, you may want to show that you're confident in what you're capable of doing, right? But how you're going to phrase it and how you're going to say it is going to be critical for the people to take it. seriously or consider that you are arrogant or that you're not showing enough confidence if you do an interview in the US go for it you have to show I'm the best I can do the job tomorrow I'm gonna make it work if you are as I said I will take again the opposites but I could take Germany I could take France I could take for example one of those countries I know that if I do an interview in those countries I will still reuse what I've learned from the US and within me you Know that I know what I can do. I will show it, but I will slightly tone it down to make it fit to the expectation of the country. And for example, if I interview in France, I know that I will say, yes, I am confident that I can do the job, but there is for sure area where I can improve. And I know that, and having this awareness, when almost in the US is like, no, I'm the best. And you will say something like if... someone asks you for improvement, you're going to say some sentence that is not really an improvement needed. And of course, you never want to be put into in the negative light for an interview. But the way you're going to spell it and speak it might be slightly different to touch the audience differently. So this is why for me, confidence is very specific and sometimes mostly not visible, because you're going to have the confidence you're going to portray but this not has nothing to do with the confidence that people are gonna have within themselves here my dog okay welcome to my household where my dog decided to bark in the middle of the episode so okay so where are we i'm gonna have to do a lot of cuts so there is quite a paradox As I said, I grew up in France where we definitely the glass half empty a lot of time. And that doesn't mean it's a negative way. It's more that we see there is opportunity for more and for growth. But if you say I'm already the best, then there will be a message, a bit of seeing it as arrogant and seeing it as you think a lot of yourself already from the get go. When in the US, it's very much into saying I'm the best and the best example. I have is the case when I was asked by my career advisor at the time to prep as part of a prep of an interview. She asked me, what was the thing you're the most proud of and your biggest achievement? And for me, first of all, I struggled because it didn't feel natural to have something to say about it or to even express anything that I thought was where I had been amazing, which already think amazing felt not correct. And then she... What taught me was from her perspective what was amazing about me. And she mentioned the fact that I was an international moving into the US, being on top of my class, being amazing in my sports and doing it all at the same time in the context. And she made me repeat and practice. And from her perspective, as part of me preparing for interviews, most likely in a US setup, it was really... importance that I embrace that side and that I show the confidence of who I am what I've done and that I think I'm the best in a way for the job okay so that's amazing I lost part of my recording so now I guess I'm gonna have to check more often what I'm doing but as I was saying basically my what the US taught me about Confidence is that I can build the confidence within me of thinking I'm the best or and again it's very difficult for me just even to say I'm the best because in no way I think I'm the best and it's very difficult message but I can reuse this level of confidence that I've built and I can use it in interviews in different contexts on a day-to-day in my life but I tone it down in the way I message it. I think it's important as tips when it comes to cultural and confidence. First of all is reframe confidence. If humility is valued in your culture, think of confidence as quiet strength, knowing your worth without shouting it. That's the first tip. So again, if you are confident already from the get-go, just understand your environment and figure out how you want to show it. But sometimes humility is the best recipe. Tip number two, it's okay to adapt your confidence to the environment you're in. It's not authentic, it's strategic. As I said, show the confidence that you want to show in the moments that you need to show is very important. Tip number three, find your tribe. Surround yourself with people who get your culture, confidence, style. I think there is a part that you can fake and a part that you cannot fake. And that's important to know in those cases when you can and you cannot fake confidence. I've heard so many times people say, oh, yeah, just like fake it until you make it. Well, from my perspective, well, it can work for some people, some that are born with a certain cultural environment. From my perspective, confidence is a more deeper and more complex feeling. Sorry, my dog is looking at me like. mommy what are you doing you're annoying i want a time for cuddle yeah this episode is going to be fun to edit um let's see how much of the side parts i put in and also i'm struggling with my camera today because my little remote is not working so yes as i was saying from my perspective confidence is also coming from within and from within you have to really consider you What are the elements that make you confident and in what context that makes you confident? What do I do when it comes to building my internal confidence? First of all, I listen to music, but I don't listen to random music. I try to pick a certain beat that makes me feel good. Songs that have meaningful, positive memories can't... have a motivated effect that were part of a certain positive moments in my life which is helping me then fill that confident mood second of all I try to make a list to remind myself of how great I am and it's not to give like this amazing side of whatever it's just to remind myself of what I've achieved what I've done where I've been and therefore to be proud of who I am. And yes, the journey is still long, but overall, it's definitely not for me about where I am and what is left to do. In the case of when I need confidence in a certain moment in time is to remind me what I've done so far, just to remind myself of everything I've gone through in the whole journey to really rebuild that message of confidence. So. The third thing that I do is I try to list the reason why I'm not confident right now. And it's almost like a reverse. And I know I talk in the middle of Google about the fact that I was doing a list to remind myself of what was great about me. And when I'm not confident, I try to... analyze why I'm not confident. Where is it coming from? Is it really a certain deep feeling? Is it due to the fact that potentially I'm highly tired, I'm sick, or I am highly stressed? And therefore, if I am stressed or any of those reasons, is there something that I can switch? Is it something that I have to redo before thinking that I'm not confident and I'm trying to fix where the confidence, low confidence come from? Maybe there is external reasons, the seasons, as I said. Multiple places that I could say, okay, this is not the highest day, the day where I'm going to feel the most powerful, the most positive or whatever. But maybe if I change my external circumstances, then my confidence will get back. So for example, right now I have neck pain. And so I think in this episode, I do not feel confidence that I'm delivering the best quality. But I'm pushing through because I'm reminding myself, first of all, that... I've gone through a journey of having done quite a lot of episodes by now. I know my editing might be more difficult, but maybe I will switch the section in a different order. But I know I'm capable of making it happen. So even though I'm not feeling the most comfortable in explaining myself, I know by the end, the message will still land because I know I've done this before. And if it doesn't land, then I will record tomorrow morning again. But there is a way for me to get there. So I know that moment feels awkward and feels difficult. But by making this list of what's the actual problem and where is my lack of confidence coming from, it's helping me to rethink, OK, no, actually, there is a way for me to alleviate it. It's not the end of the world. It's just a moment. It's just a feeling. But instead of wallowing in it. and that it's swallowing me completely, then it's helping me feel better if I think about what can I improve or where can I go from there. So I hope this helps you. This was really the three tips that for me are the most powerful. Of course, I could tell you that by doing sports, then I get more endorphins or by talking to my friends, then to talk about what makes me not feel good and to get positive reinforcement from them or from my family. It's also part of it. But I just wanted to not wallow into the topics of what are my to-dos and what I do for myself. But what's the most important is what do you do for yourself to build or to ensure that you're confident in the moment where you need to be confident. But as mentioned, this internal confidence requires quite a strength and it can be challenged on a regular basis. So whatever you are feeling in that moment in time, it's important to ensure that you alleviates that overall perspective. Confidence is not about changing who you are. At the end of the day, it's about finding the right way for you to feel comfortable, to feel good about who you are as a person and how in the environment you're in, can you show in the best way, the best version of yourself and the most confident version of yourself. And as I said, It's going to look very different from one country to the other, from a cultural environment to the others. It's going to look very different if you are showing this off in an interview compared to friends, compared to people you've never met before. So always consider that while you're slightly adjusting from the outside, how you display and how you show your confidence from within. It's all about ensuring that you feel good about who you are, being, knowing that who who you are as a person is great. And that, yes, there is always improvement that we can do, but already as you, you are doing amazing. And this, building that message overall, it's not easy. I am some days struggling with it. So finding day-to-day elements that makes you feel comfortable and feel good and builds that level of, I am great at what I do. I am great as I am. It's important to build and to think of little by little. So, well, this episode was highly tricky for me to document or to edit, not even to edit at this point, to record. I hope it was still fine and that at the end, by the time I'm editing, it feels good and comprehensive and that you still got something out of it, of learning. I wish you all the best and I wish you a lot of confidence. And we talk very soon. Bye. And that's a wrap for today's episode of The Pulse. If something resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. So drop me a message on Instagram, LinkedIn, or leave a review wherever you're listening. Your feedback fuels this community and I much appreciate it. Make sure to follow The Pulse on your favorite podcast platforms and on social media so you never miss an episode. And if you're craving for more, check out the show notes for links, resources, and ways to connect. Until next time, keep trusting your journey. because growth happens one step at a time. See you soon. Bye.
