Speaker #0Do you live with a constant fear of being judged for who you really are and for wanting what you really want? Does the fear of pissing people off hold you back from fully pursuing your dreams? Well, what if I told you that accepting that judgment from other people not only could happen, but probably will and maybe already is happening, could be the one thing that finally sets you free? Today, I am sharing why freedom and creativity thrive when you embrace your authentic self. even when the world pushes back. And how I learned that from Wicked. You guessed it, baby. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm a Webby Award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, and creative coach. This show sits at the intersection of creativity, mental health, self-development, and spirituality. And it is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity. and pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. And as I mentioned, today we're talking about basically how to get over the fear of pissing people off. My friend Latoya Cooper says that the number one thing all people have to learn, but especially women have to learn in order to be successful, is to release the fear of pissing people off and go toward your most authentic self. So I learned that from her, I've been learning it from my own life, and this one moment in Wicked totally solidified it for me. So let me take you into how I had this realization and how I decided I wanted to talk with you about this today. I was walking to my car in my garage of my condo complex, doing this cute little thing I typically do, which is singing and hoping that nobody catches me singing. And I decided to sing, of course, because it's on everybody's mind in the world right now, defying gravity. And so I got into the ending part where she's like, ah, And I had this realization that as she is her freest, most authentic self, and she's speaking out and spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it, if you've been living under a rock, I guess you can skip this or fast forward or pause it and then listen to this again when you're done watching the movie. But she's like speaking out against what's going on in Oz and living her freest and most expressed and powerful self. She's literally flying. And as she's having this moment where she is taking up the space she is destined to take up, there are literally hordes of people, an angry mob, that come after her. And the lyrics are, look at her, she's wicked, get her. As she is defying gravity and becoming her full self and taking up space. And it just painted this really beautiful picture to me that so often That is what happens in our own lives. And it's basically like what I think we're avoiding when we're not pursuing our passion in the way we want to or pursuing our dreams or even feeling free to be ourself or say a thought that's on our mind. We're trying to avoid that level of persecution. But I kind of think that the only way to ever fully be who you're meant to be is to not avoid that. But instead to... Make your peace with it at the very least. Now, it doesn't mean that feels good. It doesn't mean you're going to like love it. If somebody's saying, look at her, she's wicked, get her that version of it in your own life. I really do believe the thing that holds us back is thinking that we can avoid that judgment and putting up a shield that keeps us from ever doing our best, truest work, being our fullest self, using our most authentic voice out in the world because we're afraid. of that angry mob moment. But I wonder how powerful we could be if we could somehow make peace with it. And, you know, I've talked about this woman, Victoria Song, a lot. I've been taking classes with her over the past year. She's a great coach. If you don't know who she is, she's helped a lot of big companies, but she helped a company named Honey go from being valued at $100 million to $4 billion. And she helped them do this. She helped them build up the company through teaching them self-development tools. So instead of being like, here's 10 tips to be a successful entrepreneur, she helps you like heal your childhood and get back in touch with your inner child and access your joy again. And one of the things she has you do if you're taking one of her classes that involve anything to do with manifestation is to feel into what your greatest fear is. And that's what I think I'm like. trying to get to with this topic is like, if you could make peace with whatever your biggest fear is about putting yourself out there creatively, whether it's sharing a post, starting a new business, or just saying a thought that has been in your head for a long time that you're like scared to share because maybe it's like controversial. I think that in order to do it and to have the success on the other end, we need to make peace with both like the best thing that could happen and the worst thing that could happen. And for a lot of us, the worst possible thing we can think of is to have people. saying we're not something we want to be said. Like, I know for sure that's one of my greatest fears. I really like being liked. That is something that I have always loved. And the truth is, if everybody likes you, you're probably not taking enough risks. And it doesn't mean you're like seeking out unfounded criticism, but just knowing that you're not making work. thinking about bad things people could say about you or to you or about your work, that you're making work from a place that feels authentic instead of constricted and like trying to account for what people might say or think about you, I think is really, really important. And going back to the wicked idea, I mean, this moment that's like the pinnacle in the movie, when she is feeling her freest and she has been most herself and she is fully owning her power and like... Literally admitting to the fact that she is magical, flying in the sky, being her full freaky self, that is the moment she's also getting the most persecuted. And the dichotomy that that's also the moment she feels freest. And I think it's just interesting to go back to that metaphor that when we divest from what other people think about us and really go toward what we believe in and who we truly are and even embrace the parts of us that other people have said. or bad or gross or whatever, that is when we feel freest and that is when we will be able to be the people that we say we want to be. We have to stop letting other people's opinions and fears and judgments get in between us and our most authentic self. The less that we let that judgment or fear of judgment wedge between us and who we really are and who we want to be in the world and what we stand for, the freer we will be. So My advice to you is to make peace with persecution, to maybe imagine the worst thing that could happen and let yourself truly believe that you could survive that and maybe it could make you even freer. And also, at the same time, picturing the best thing that could happen and saying that I could survive that and that, like, what you would do with that life. Like, I think we have to make peace with these dichotomies and realize, like, When we put ourselves out there, anything is possible. But the one thing we know for sure is that we're taking a chance on ourself. Again, like the thing I've said over and over and over again these past few months, we are not going to close the door on ourselves. We are not going to say no to ourselves anymore. So let go of your fear of pissing people off and maybe your fear of success. And just put your faith into yourself instead of trying to control what other people might think of it. That's the only thing you have control of anyway, is making sure you stay good with yourself and integrity with yourself. And you're taking chances on yourself instead of letting some potential thought of what somebody might think hold you back or even what they maybe do think hold you back. If you truly believe in something, if you're standing up for something or someone you believe in, if you are trying something that you love, damn anybody who says that you shouldn't. Unless it's hurting and harmful and mean to someone. I can see some criticism from that. But if you're just putting your voice out into the world and your thoughts and your art and your business, your creativity, your only job is to do that, not to control how other people receive it. And I do want to say one other thing. I had this revelation because I allowed myself to play. Like at first when I was in the garage and singing, you know, Defying Gravity, I was like, oh God, Laura, like maybe someone's going to come up, but like you don't want to get. caught. And, um, oh my gosh, you've been singing this song so much. Just stop it. But I had this revelation and this creative idea for this podcast with you because I allowed myself to play. And I think that is another important thing. When you just allow yourself to play without any intention of like making something or creating something or being productive, brilliant creative ideas can come to you and you can have these amazing revelations. So the final takeaway. is let yourself be free. Speak up about what you believe and speak out against people who are doing bad in the world. And you will find yourself living to your fullest potential, being your authentic self, living beyond what you thought was even possible and telling people, watch me. And they may judge you for it. They may even hunt you down for it. But you won't care, or at least you won't care as much because you will still be living free. And you will have a clear conscious that you are owning your power and you did not say no to yourself. Remember, if you can make peace with both the best possible thing that could happen and the worst possible thing that can happen, you can do almost anything. And anybody who would detract from what you're doing when you're doing something positive in the world is somebody who is afraid that you would own your full power. So be like Elphaba and fly free and don't let anybody stop you from sharing your full voice. All right, my loves, that's it for this week. Next week on the 18th, I will be sharing another mini-show with you. And on the 20th, you are going to get a bonus episode with my parents. It's the annual Unleash Christmas Spectacular. People love this episode. You do not want to miss it. It's always a rip-roaring good time. So come back for a little bit of Joanne, Mike, and Christmas joy. In the meantime, this episode was hosted and executive produced by me, Lauren LaGrasso, produced by Rachel Fulton, with music by Liz Full. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and I will repost to share my gratitude. If you like the podcast, my style and philosophy when it comes to creativity, remember that I am a creative coach and I would love to help you find your creative purpose and bring your project to life or even just grow a current project. Reach out to me at lauren.lagrasso at gmail.com to set up a free discovery call. It would be my honor to support you on your creative journey. Download and stream Genie in a Bottle. We finally crossed a thousand downloads and you can help me get to 10,000. So keep spinning that song, my babies. I love you and I believe in you. Talk with you next week.
