Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Picture this, your dream job falls apart, your health takes a hit, your family's struggling financially, or you're dealing with a major loss. On top of that, you and your partner just can't seem to agree on anything. Sounds rough, right? Yeah, it does. Well, these are real challenges and part of real life. So how do you navigate these storms together? This episode, we're bringing down practical ways to stay strong as a couple through life's toughest moments. We're going to talk about communication, resilience, and how faith will carry you through it all. Join us to learn how to come out stronger together. Hey there, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Home to Haven podcast. It's your home for faith-filled content that helps you communicate in your relationship. We are Terrell. That is Jennifer Turner, and we are so glad you have joined us and tuned in today. However, wherever you're listening on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or there on YouTube, come on in and hang out with us a little while. If you get anything from today's episode, just hit that thumbs up and subscribe. We would greatly, greatly appreciate it. If you're listening on the outlets. hit a rank, a rate, and a review.

• Speaker #1

  And a review.

• Speaker #0

  So a few weeks ago, we talked about how I was having a project which was looking for a stand-up desk. That's right. And we have got that all put together with your handy-dandy tools.

• Speaker #1

  Yes, put it all together.

• Speaker #0

  Put it all together, and now I can stand.

• Speaker #1

  Now you can stand while you work instead of sitting down for hours upon hours.

• Speaker #0

  Instead of sitting down for 30 hours a day.

• Speaker #1

  So how's it been going?

• Speaker #0

  It's been going great. My goal is to stand for at least 30 hours a day. three hours a day.

• Speaker #1

  Okay.

• Speaker #0

  So I typically do one in the morning, hour and a half in the morning, hour and a half in the afternoon. Okay. So it's been working out pretty good. I do like standing.

• Speaker #1

  I was going to say, how do you like the, does it feel different? Doesn't bother you to stand up?

• Speaker #0

  Doesn't bother me to stand. No. I did, I have a glass roller for my chair. Yeah. It's glass mat. Yeah. And that was hurting. So I put on my little, We call those things not Crocs, but they're like moon shoes. Okay. So that helped out. So anyway, today let's get into the topic of, you know, can your relationship withstand a crisis? It's crisis mode.

• Speaker #1

  That's right. Crisis mode is your relationship strong enough to get through a crisis.

• Speaker #0

  And that's what really tests the strength of your relationship is when you hit these crisis. Whether it be the loss of a family member, whether it be the loss of a job or a financial crisis or a disagreement, that's what really tests the strength of your relationship. And hopefully we give you some things to do to build your relationships. And when life does come, when you get under attack, you're able to withstand that storm.

• Speaker #1

  That's right. And I was going to start with a quick definition of what actually a crisis is, what defines a crisis. So that's going to be a time of intense difficulty, trouble or danger. But it's also a time when a difficult or important decision must be made. So that's also crisis. And we also always talk about should we be expecting problems or a crisis to arrive? Will crisis always arise in relationships? And we can say that all relationships will face some sort of crisis or problem or issue. So. in the span of your relationship.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, it can be something as you had a flat tire a few weeks ago. It can be a rock on the windshield that you weren't expecting. It can be your child is diagnosed with something or have a difficulty in school. Right. To, yeah, something major. So you will face some type of crisis or test or hardship or, you know, grief. It tells us that, you know, in life you're going to. encounter hardship, but we can endure hardship as good soldiers. So yeah, we will face difficult times and difficult seasons in our lives.

• Speaker #1

  That's right. So what is the first step of surviving a crisis? So you know you're going to face it. You can prepare yourself for it. But when you're in it, when you're in the thick of it, when some stuff is going on, where do we even start? as a couple?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, the first thing is, number one, you want to remember your faith. Remember, Paul said to Timothy, I stir up the gift of remembrance, or I stir you up by way of remembrance. So go back to, this sounds very, very simple, very elementary, but how important it is that yes, everything else we're going to tell you stems from, first of all, you've got to go to God's word, get anchored, stay in your worship mode. pray together because God is the one that's going to get you through. He said, I'll never leave you or forsake you. So in the time where you're not understanding one another, or you're facing a diagnosis, or you're facing some type of news that you were not prepared for, or you got laid off and you have what's next, God is going to give you the peace. and the direction for you and your family. Don't fear, don't go into panic mode and the enemy wants to bring in the worst case scenario. Everything is going to work out. All things work together. The scripture says, for the good of those who are called. So if you're listening today and you're facing that, maybe you just turned in just for this specific time today, it's not by accident, it's going to be okay. God is with you. Everything will work out. He sees the end from the beginning.

• Speaker #1

  That's right. So the foundation is really laid. Your faith is first and foremost. We talk about it a lot in our process that we always talk about, pray it, plan it, pursue it.

• Speaker #0

  And we have something in the planet phase. We have not mentioned this in a while, but we, the very first episodes and in one of our master classes that we do is we talk about a purpose statement. And that is more so like a overall vision for your relationship, a vision for your house. And when those things come, that's something that can anchor you. Absolutely. Hey, this is what we're about. This is what we stand for. This is who we are. So that can carry you through during those times.

• Speaker #1

  Right. These are our core values. You know where to go because you know where you're starting. You're starting with your faith. You know it's important to you as a couple, as a family, and you can pursue those actions afterwards when you know those things to start with.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, God will give you direction. you know, he will give you the action steps. You might not have the answer right now today. That's okay. You know, trust in him. He's going to lead you into all truth. So again, whether it be a layoff, whether it be what house, whether it be, for instance, our, our friends in Western Carolina, if you're listening to this, who just got decimated by a hurricane, you know, and have lost homes or businesses, and they're facing this monumental thing, no one ever pictured for themselves. You can pick the pieces up. and continue to move forward because God is with you and it's going to work out for your good.

• Speaker #1

  Amen. So we're going to start there and then we are going to move on. Number two, we talk about it all the time, but we are going to say it again. You need to have open and honest communication with your partner throughout the crisis. You're approaching it as a team. This is not an individual thing where one person wins and the other person loses, right? You're working together. And in order to accomplish that, to overcome. You need to be able to support each other. You need to be able to talk honestly about how you're feeling or what is actually occurring with you, with whatever the crisis may be. So you need to do those important communication tips that we always talk about. Just talk openly, always listen actively, use those I statements. But really what it comes down to is being able to talk to your partner about anything and everything that you're facing. Okay,

• Speaker #0

  so now all that stuff you said, let's kind of funnel that down into like a practical everyday application. Yeah. So, for example, husband comes home and laid off. How do we respond to that?

• Speaker #1

  Right. So you need to approach it in a non-blaming, defensive way. You can support your partner, encourage your partner and talk about. practically what's happening. So what is actually happening? What are we facing? What are some things that we can put into place to counteract that or change that or get through this part of our life right now, but really being able to sit down and talk heart to heart. So this is what I'm facing. I'm facing a job layoff, but this is how I'm feeling. This is, you know, what I may be thinking might happen in the future because of this. And Let's sit down and talk about it. What are some action steps we can put in place? But again, always approaching it with your faith as your foundation. And then second of all, we're a team. We can get through this. And we can accomplish and overcome together.

• Speaker #0

  Which takes us to the next step of teamwork and unity. So even if it's not something as drastic as a layoff or a sickness or an illness, it can be we had a disagreement or maybe that disagreement turned into an argument. Maybe we didn't respond the correct way. Remembering that we are a team, that we are a unit, that we work together. will bring you back to, okay, let me apologize, or okay, let's talk this thing through so that we can get some resolution. So whether it was a disagreement about what was for dinner, or somebody's overspent in the budget, or you want a new car, and your partner says, I don't think so, and you got it anyway, whatever happened, all right, how do we get to the next step. Okay. I know you're angry right now, but how do, how do we get past it? How do we move past it? So whatever that conversation looks like, whatever those tears look like, whatever those words look like, getting to it so that we can get to the resolution, we can get to the healing, we can get to the, the knitting together, we can get to the, the makeup.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And sometimes it just takes asking the other person instead of assuming what they may need or how they might. feel support in that situation, you can ask them, how can I best support you through this? Or how do you feel best supported or loved or, you know, respected through this change, this crisis, so that you can hear what they're saying, get their feedback and really listen to that understanding because, you know, two people aren't going to process something the same way all the time. So you need to also work through that dynamic of both of you coming together and how you're both feeling and thinking through it and then be able to present a united front against it. And then the next part is really not be afraid to go and ask and seek out additional support. You can't always solve or work through or get through a crisis on your own. So there's always other resources out there. that will support you and help you through those major crisis. So it may be a trusted pastor, somebody that you are in like a small group with, or somebody that you know also has the same faith and belief as you do that can be praying alongside you, that can point you to other resources that the church might have, or it could be a counselor, somebody like that that can really work through that crisis with you, come alongside you.

• Speaker #0

  I think the songwriter said, lean on me. When you're not strong, I'll be your hand. So don't be afraid to lean on or don't be too prideful. Yeah. You know, wink, wink. Pride can really say, I don't want to reach out. But again, we know a good resource for relationship help. But. Whether that might be, again, especially if you're dealing with a grief, you know, there's a lot of times we don't process that. And so if it is the loss of a loved one, I want to say loss because you don't lose anyone, especially if they have Jesus in their life, you don't lose them. We will see them. But if someone's transitioned and they're no longer with us, you know. Talking that through with someone to work through the joy, but also the grief of that. That's important. If it is the loss of a relationship or you've had to move on from a relationship, you know, being able to open. up and accept help, accept the love of others is something that will really help you through whatever trial, whatever test you are facing. If it is a health thing, getting around a group of people who can support. It could be a Facebook group. It could be an online group or whatever to help you through and encourage you and say, hey, we're going through the same thing as you. You are not alone wherever you are. The enemy wants to make you get isolated and say, hey, no one cares about you. No one loves you. You're all by yourself. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. That is a complete lie. You are not alone. I guarantee you whatever you're in today at this very present moment, you are not by yourself. And only that it will pass. Okay. Weeping. I'm preaching now. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning. That's scripture. So we are here for you. We are support system for you. And hopefully and prayerfully through hearing this podcast and hearing this come forward, you are encouraged today to know that no matter what the darkness seems to be in your life or in your relationship, you know, brighter days are ahead. Brighter days are ahead. Again, even in your marriage, even in your relationship, in your family, no matter if there's toxicity or if there is just some drama going on, that crisis of, you know, teenagers not listening, not wanting to go along with the plan, wife doing their thing, husband doing his thing, you know, mother-in-law's going, and it's just like, what is happening in the midst of all that? There's peace in the midst of all that. There can still be joy in the midst of all that God will still give you the way to respond and the way to win them over through his love.

• Speaker #1

  Absolutely. I love that. And while you're not in a crisis, start fortifying your marriage now.

• Speaker #0

  Because you don't want to wait to get in it. Right. And you're like, oh my God, what do I do?

• Speaker #1

  I don't know what to do.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. You fortified yourself. You know, you've been, you've been planning for this. Yeah. You know, not, I'm not planning for the whole doom and gloom, but we know that, hey, attack will come. Isaiah 54, 17 says, no weapon formed against me will prosper. So we know the weapons will come, but when they get shot at as Ephesians 6, the shield of faith, we can quench, we can knock down fiery darts of the evil one.

• Speaker #1

  That's right. So we can set up our defenses now and really go through those smaller issues and those smaller problems as a couple, knowing that you're coming out on the other side better and that you're ready to face anything that comes your way as a couple. with God at the center of your relationship.

• Speaker #0

  You said three things earlier. I hope you guys enjoyed this and this helped you a little bit in terms of what to do. Can your relationship handle a crisis? Even ask yourself today, if X, Y, Z happened, how would I respond? If there was a layoff, how would I respond? If I opened up my bank account today and somehow it was zero, would I flip out or would I be like, you know what, God's got this all as well. We had a crisis where I mean, it's a first world crisis, but, you know, we went to our Alaska trip and flights got canceled three hours before takeoff. You know, how do we respond to that? How do you respond to the things you didn't plan for, you didn't see? It really truly shows you your character and your faith in the word of God. So hopefully this helps you. You mentioned three things that we coach our clients on. What are those three things and how can it help? those who are listening or watching.

• Speaker #1

  Yes. So it is our Pray It, Plan It, Pursue It process. And this is all part of our relationship planning guide that you can download. This is a freebie for you. You can get it today, right now, have it in your hands. And it will give you different sections that you can really pray over, plan over, and then pursue over each month. This is a great time of the year to start doing that. It's the end of the year. There's a lot of stuff going on and we want to make sure we still prioritize those important things, being our faith and of course our relationship. So it helps you work through that. It will get you all organized and settled and on your way. So get the relationship planning guide today, freebie download.

• Speaker #0

  Step into the new year.

• Speaker #1

  That's right.

• Speaker #0

  On go.

• Speaker #1

  That's right.

• Speaker #0

  So okmancompany.com slash planner. It'll take you 15 seconds. Get that as a freebie. Just check it out, right? If you don't like it, you don't like it, trash it. But you won't trash it because it's awesome. And it's a great resource that, again, will help you pray things through, plan your dates, plan your activities, plan things. Again, it's a relationship. So it's focused on your relationship, not your bills, but your relationship. And then go pursue it. So uphavencompany.com slash planner. Get it today in the show notes in the description. Thanks for listening. Again. If you got one little thing that we said that was like, you know what? That was pretty good. Just that thing right there. Little thumbs up. Hit it for us. We would really, really greatly appreciate it. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. We love you. And we'll see you next week. But remember, wisdom builds the house.

• Speaker #2

  Thanks for listening to the Home to Haven podcast. Did you get anything from today's topic? Are you ready to go even deeper in developing healthy communication with your partner? Download your relationship planning guide absolutely free. This monthly outline is a great starting point to reclaim control of the hustle of everyday life and ensure that your most meaningful relationship takes center stage. You'll have everything you need to accomplish and measure your goals. And did we mention it's free? Look for and click the link in the description. Our mission is to assist couples in their relationship communication so that they can build a haven of peace and love. Friend you can have a fulfilling relationship. And we hope today's topic provided tools that will help you experience the fullness of a faith-centered relationship. So connect with us on social and send a message. Find us at Oak Haven Company on all social media platforms. We also have additional resources available to assist you on your journey. So visit oakhavencompany.com today and discover even more tools for success in your relationship communication. Again, thank you for listening. And remember, wisdom builds the house.