Having the Courage to Reinvent Yourself—Nate Boyer on Identity, Purpose, and Second Chances | Men Talking Mindfulness: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Health for Leaders Under Pressure

Description

What does it truly mean to reinvent yourself? In this gripping episode, Jon and Will sit down with Nate Boyer—a man who epitomizes the courage it takes to reinvent yourself, again and again.

If you’ve ever thought about a second chance, felt lost after a big life transition, or wondered how to find purpose when your old identity fades away, this episode is your blueprint.

Nate Boyer’s story will make you rethink what’s possible if you reinvent yourself. From the deserts of Darfur as a volunteer, to the frontlines as a Green Beret, and then smashing expectations as a college football player without prior experience, Nate shows us that to reinvent yourself means to lean in—hard—with courage and heart. But here’s the secret: it’s not just about chasing adventure; it’s about finding where you’re truly needed and building a community that has your back.

Dive deep into how MVP (Merging Vets and Players) is changing lives, using connection and shared purpose to help veterans and athletes reinvent themselves after their careers end. Nate opens up about the identity struggles that come with big transitions—the loneliness, the fear, the battle to reinvent yourself inside and out. Through hard work, embracing discomfort, and staying plugged into your mission, he proves it’s never too late to start over, pursue your passion, and build a life with no regrets.

If you want to reinvent yourself, this episode will energize you to take risks, live from your heart, and find purpose beyond labels. Are you ready to reinvent yourself and discover the power of second chances? Tune in—the next version of you is waiting!

Feeling stuck? If you need help getting out of your rut, Will can help - head to willnotfear.com to learn more about his coaching to get you off the hamster wheel.

More from MTM at: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction

00:50 - Nate Boyer’s Journey from Military to Mindfulness

06:25 - Journey to Service: Finding Purpose in Humanitarian Work

13:00 - Navigating Identity and Purpose After Service

22:29 - Peak Performance and the Pressure of Competition

24:41 - Super Bowl Memories and Hell Week Regrets

26:58 - Growth Through Embracing Change

40:16 - Connecting Athletes and Veterans

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Transcription

Speaker #0
crazy is spending your entire life doing something you hate because you thought you were worried about failing the other thing. And then like, you're just like going to live in that forever. And you don't have to. The balance, I think that maybe we're all seeking, whether we realize it or not, the balance is in, in always having a purpose and belonging and being needed. I think we need to feel like we're needed. And that's what I lacked until I went to the Darfur and eventually. the military that's a big one for me it's just like i don't want to live i don't want to live with regrets or even worse i don't want to die with you know i've got a few we've all got a few things you yeah you zigged when you wished you would have zagged or whatever but i don't have a i don't yet have a regret for not trying something that i really raw
Speaker #1
uncut and unapologetic welcome to men talking mindfulness
Speaker #2
All right, welcome back everybody. Our guest today has worn so many hats that he ran out of closet space to fit them all. Hey, Nate Boyer. Nate Boyer is going to join us today. His story is all about embracing change. From philanthropy in Darfur, serving as a green beret in combat, to jumping into college football with literally zero experience. Not even a single down of any organized football in his entire life. Then making it to the NFL. starring in reality TV shows, acting in, producing, and directing movies, and now becoming a strong voice for military veterans and social causes. There isn't a better man on the planet we could talk to about taking and having the courage to take a change or make a change. Nate, Nate, super excited to have you here, brother. How are you?
Speaker #0
I'm good, John. Good to be here, brother. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Yeah, man.
Speaker #1
Thanks. Thanks for having me. Yeah,
Speaker #2
we're excited. Yeah, welcome to the show, Will. Hey, brother. Also good to see you, man. I'll talk it over to you.
Speaker #1
Good to be here with you guys. We love talking about change because change is so difficult for a lot of people. So thanks for helping us today understand the road to change. And yeah, John, good to be here. And hey, real quick, if you're curious about attaining a better mood or physical health or mental clarity. check out our new show sponsor, Nourish. That's spelled N-E-U-R-I-S-H. It's a powder supplement that can upgrade your health from the inside out. So head to mentalkingmindfulness.com for more information. Also, hey, we have our Spartan Race on October 19th in Dallas. So join our team. And for more of that information, head to mentalkingmindfulness.com. All right, we got this one-breath grounding practice. Nate, just to focus us up. So maybe close the eyes or just feel yourself grounding. Start with a nice little exhale out your mouth. Really hit bottom, hit empty, and then take one big inhale through your nose and let it go out your mouth easy. All right. Well, hey, thank you all for being here. Thanks for supporting the show. Leave a comment if you like. You can do that on Spotify. about this episode. Leave us a review. Sponsor the show. It'd be awesome. Nate, it's focused on you, my brother. Great to have you here. We're going to dive right in. And I was really loved your story as I was studying you to get on the show about your Darfur in 2004. I think it was age 22. You just kind of stepped up and made your way to Darfur and Sudan to help the genocide and refugee crisis that was going on there. You know, so what woke up inside of you that? made you want to go out and do this?
Speaker #0
I think it was, I know it was a time in my life where, I mean, like early twenties are, I think a big pivoting point for a lot of people, no matter where they are in their path, you know, uh, it's just oftentimes people are graduating college at that time, you know, and kind of moving on to that next phase. And I didn't go to college out of high school. Um, but a lot of my friends that I grew up with were. you know, they were graduating, they were kind of starting their lives and, you know, you start to think about what you're doing with yours or the lack of what you're doing with yours. And I think I certainly felt not necessarily purposeful, but also like I didn't, I wasn't really doing what I was meant to do, but also I wasn't really doing anything that seemed too beneficial to society. The one kind of redeeming thing that I think I was doing was I was working with kids with autism at the time. So mostly, actually all young boys who, various range on the spectrum, some of them completely nonverbal, some of them really high functioning, but still like tough to, tough for a lot of them to connect, I think, with others and their peer groups. So I would, you know, I would, I would. take them out to kind of do big brother type stuff. But also sometimes I visit them at their school, kind of try to help them make friends and do things like that. And I liked that, but I just didn't think that that was what I was sort of meant to do for the long haul. And beyond that, everything else just felt kind of like I wasn't really pursuing anything that I really wanted. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I was into. I was interested in storytelling, filmmaking stuff, which I. come back to a lot later but didn't know where to start and didn't know how to work yet didn't know how to sacrifice all the things that we ended up learning in the military and one day i just remember i woke up on my buddy's couch i was hung over uh like most 22 year olds right yeah exactly just that's what we do and uh he had a mag get a time magazine sitting on the coffee table there and i woke up all blurry and i start flipping through it well first of all the cover had um it was this woman in the Darfur, you know, holding her child. I can't remember or do I, or even know if the child was deceased or not, but like they were both very malnourished and it was just like a sad scene. Right. So I started flipping through the magazine. I read the article about the tragedy in Sudan. That was actually the title. And it just talked about the genocide going on in the Darfur and just this, you know, humanitarian crisis and how they were understaffed out there and needed people. And so. I started calling every NGO. Like I was like, boom, you know, this, I felt this like surge of, I don't know what it was, but it was like, you're meant to go there for whatever reason. And so I called all these NGOs. They all told me, you don't have a college degree. You don't have any special skills. Like, what are you going to do? And I'm like, I mean, I've done construction. I've done all kinds of, I worked on a fishing boat. Not that I need to be catching fish out there, but like, I know how to do things, you know, somewhat. And, and I feel like I could be useful and I'm. I'm young and I'm good health. And, and I'm, I mean, obviously I'll fly myself over there and I just want to, I don't want any, I'm not asking for anything except an opportunity to volunteer really. And, you know, bureaucracy and whatnot, it just wasn't that simple. So what I ended up doing normally, I think me and a lot of people would just be like, well, I guess that's just the way it is. And you kind of just go on with your life. But for whatever reason, I was just like, no, that's, there's gotta be a way. you know what this can't be the answer like if they're there's need they need people like i'm just going to show up there and once i'm there they've got to utilize me so i i got my visa i went to the triple a and i bought a plane ticket and just you know to to chad the neighboring country where um chad's just west of sudan and the darfur is on the western border so it's that's where the a lot of the refugee camps were being set up just across the chadian border where it was out of the war zone. And I'm like, well, I'll just... fly to Chad and I'll just figure it out. And that's what I did. I flew there. I got to the Capitol. I kind of talked my way onto a UN flight, got out to the camps, got interrogated, you know, all that stuff. Cause they were like, who are you? What are you doing here? But I had a 60 day visa that I had obtained. And so once I was there, that's exactly what happened. Like they, they let me, they put me to work. They're like, all right, well, he's here and we've got 60 days. So it was great. And it was. you know, obviously a very humbling experience. Very like, I was just overwhelmed with the gratitude that those people expressed for somebody that didn't have a ton to offer except their time. But their whole thing was like, I can't believe you. Why would you leave America? What are you doing? You know what I mean? To come here. And it's just like, well, I don't know. I think a lot of people, like what I discovered, this feeling that I had was like this. I'm very fortunate to be born and raised here, but now I feel a responsibility to do something with that. You know, I guess that can be called a sense of duty. And so eventually it was that time that really led me to, to join the military. I actually got malaria the last week I was there and this family put me up and like took care of me, didn't take a dollar. And they put a radio next to the cot in the room that they'd sort of quarantined me in. And the second battle of Helusia was going on and I'm listening to it. on BBC news and it was just like all right I'm coming back to the states and or when I get back to the states I'm this is what I'm gonna do next so it was like I got I sort of like gained my patriotism over there which was kind of bizarre you know because this is post 9-11 and not that I was anti-America but I just didn't get it until I went somewhere like that and saw it firsthand and kind of met the people and you know that there's a lot of narratives out there that people in those places, the part of the world, they just hate Americans, you know, or they're just, I don't know what it is. And yeah, maybe some do. Sure. Some do of course. But like, Not, not largely. So anyway, it's sort of a long story there, but it was a pivotal point for me. Definitely. I'm glad you're sure.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Well, I'm glad that guy had that magazine on the coffee table, man. Cause it sounds like it, like you said, it was the, the, yeah. Right. The foundation. I bet you are, man. Yeah. It seems like it laid the foundation for so many other things. Right. So you've gone from volunteering in Sudan. to being that Green Beret. So you came back, you developed this patriotism, which I think a lot of Americans, we take America for granted until you go out and you see other countries. We talked about travel last week on our show and how important that is to see what the rest of the world is, what the world offers, or maybe even doesn't have to offer in some places. But that helped you to develop that kind of love for America, that patriotism. So you come back, go into being a Green Beret from the Green Berets, you go to playing football as a longhorn. Then you go and you do some time with the NFL. Then you go again, like I covered in the beginning to actor, filmmaker, and now you're doing the merging veterans and players, the nonprofit. So we're here to talk about reinventing yourself. And I would say that's not just reinvention. It's kind of reinvention on, on repeat, right? On replay over and over and over. So, you know, what, what belief system
Speaker #0
gives you the courage to to keep stepping into these new arenas if you will i'm just a big proponent or advocate or whatever you want to call it for the whole not just that life is short right um and that we should take advantage of opportunities and enjoy it and all that but just like it it is short and and probably our ability to do a lot of things is even shorter, you know, as we age, which the three of us are doing, you know, there's,
Speaker #1
and everybody else, there's also,
Speaker #0
yeah, exactly. There's also increased, you know, there's increased wisdom of course. And like learning how to sift through the bullshit and not get focused on the wrong things or distracted by the wrong things. But at the same time, like, you know, I mean, I don't know if I would have done that today. Like, you And I don't even, I'm still single. I've still never been married, no kids, but I still don't, I don't know. Like at that time in my life though, I'm glad I did that because a lot of people will look back later. And with that regret, I'm like, man, I wish I would have, I felt inspired to do something, whatever that thing was. And I just didn't even try it. You know, I wish I would have and sort of regret that. So that's a big one for me. It's just like, I don't want to live. I don't want to live with regrets or even worse. I don't want to die with regrets. You know, I've, I've got a few, we've all got a few. things you zigged when you wished you would have zagged or whatever. But I don't have a, I don't yet have a regret for not trying something that I really wanted to try. Maybe it took me a little longer than I wanted to, but that's a, that's a big one. So I'm not sure where that comes from. I mean, both my parents are very hardworking, you know, they were, they both, you know, when my mom got her PhD in environmental science at Cal Berkeley, which is a great University. Um, I think, I think we think the first or one of the first women in her PhD program. Um, and then my dad was a racehorse veterinarian for like 40 years and, you know, both just really hardworking people. So that definitely laid the foundation for at least an example of what work ethic is, even though I didn't really know how to apply that until, you know, time in the military. It definitely. I think leadership and examples like that certainly open the door there. But as far as the reinvention piece and just want to try new things, it just comes from this, I guess this FOMO, you know what I mean? For any young people listening, but like, yeah, the fear of missing out on life, you know, and like, and it doesn't always have to be these just epic vacation trips, you know, nothing wrong with doing that also, but sometimes it's just like, what am I? What am I doing with my life right now? And do I, even though I've done this thing for five years, whatever it is, do I need to keep doing that forever? Is it okay to just completely shift and do something else? I mean, I think it is if you're, if it still feeds your soul and, you know, you're able to not put yourself in too many predicaments or hardships, you or your family.
Speaker #1
So it sounds like you have a good connection to your heart, you know, I mean, like doing the work in Darfur, like, you know, and then. you know, serving our country. It's like, is that where maybe that, uh, that communication with your heart comes in? You know what I mean? Like, and that's where courage is too. I mean, it's in the heart. I mean, it's just, it's, uh, I mean, what's your what's your relationship to your heart, if you will? Because a lot of men that we you know, we that may be listening to the show like they just don't have that connection or they don't have those feelings. Like, you know, boys don't cry kind of attitude, you know, which is way too pervasive for a lot of men. But like it's interesting, like the three of us, like we know what it's like to live a life of passion and courage and going out and taking risks and doing hard shit. You know, like what's that like for you? Like how do you tap into that sometimes? do you you know I don't know. I'm just curious. Yeah.
Speaker #0
No, I definitely do. And I feel like, I feel like you're supposed to, you know, you're supposed to feel all these emotions. And I definitely fought, fought those for a very long time. Like I didn't, I don't think I became someone who was, who listened to those or was for lack of a better term sensitive to those until I was much older, until I was, you know, probably at least into my thirties, if not mid thirties. And I'd experienced a lot of things, great things, really cool accomplishments and achievements and perseverance and also loss and rejection and all the other things that don't feel great. You know what I mean? But when you take big swings, I mean, you're going to strike out a lot. That's just the way it is. You'll hit the top move. Very true. You'll strike out a lot. Yeah. That's just the way that is. Unless you're Barry Bonds. Somehow that guy never struck out. Yeah,
Speaker #1
I hate that, right?
Speaker #0
Well,
Speaker #1
you mentioned about hard work, you know, and I love your story about like you and University of Texas football team. And, you know, you mentioned and another guy I really love that you actually spoke to is Colin Cowherd on the herd. And you mentioned like he was having this conversation. I know he's such a fucking great broadcaster. He's so good. But, you know, he was talking to you about the Colin Kaepernick. That's another story, another time. But then he got into you and... stepping up and having never played a down of football before, you know, showing up and getting on the team. And you mentioned in that interview about being like hard, hardworking or working hard, maybe everyone else, maybe you said, but also being mission focused. You know, so how is these two things like really, you know, help you to create the change and also overcome obstacles?
Speaker #0
Yeah, I mean, I think we all, everybody needs a mission or a task. I mean, I don't, I don't know if there's an animal out there that doesn't need a job at some level. Like, I think that's true. I mean, I've heard the argument because my dad works in or worked, he doesn't do it anymore, but did for many years in the horse racing business. And a lot of people are like, Oh, is that, you know, isn't there, aren't they pretty cruel to the horses? And I'm like, well, there are people that are, yes, there's people in every industry that do it the wrong way. And there's certainly no, you know, there's, there's, there's no excuse for it, especially when you're... dealing with animals and stuff like that. But if you've ever been around horses, spent time with horses or dogs or whatever, these, these, these animals that are very close to us, like they love a job. They love a task. They love a mission. You know what I mean? They want to hunt. They want to, um, you know, be busy and they want to, they want to work. They like to play. They like to race. They do these things. And I think that we're no different, you know, we really need that. And of course we seek. and strive towards more comforts, not just for us, but for our families and our communities. Like we want things to be safe and peaceful and secure also. But at the same time, I think we often feel most happy and alive when we are in the process of pursuing that, you know what I mean? When we're working towards that. And then once we get there, it's like, we're immediately searching for the next problem to solve, you know? It's similar to being in a... to be in a combat scenario you know what i mean like yeah you're what's the rush yeah yeah it's a rush and it's also like i'm all right i'm thinking about my you know 12 man teams and you know the seal teams as well it's like the 11 other guys are the priority that we're with um beyond the of course the mission always comes first but it's like this is what i'm thinking about when you know the shit hits the fan it's like these 11 other people and it's like what's the biggest threat okay let's you know let's get that under control okay now what's next and then once everything seems good it's like on to the next mission like let's find another thing you know to to fix another problem to solve and and that it's no different with everything else in life so i just think that i just think it's essential to i don't want to say happiness because i don't know if you know just the idea of happiness exists like i think there's moments of joy and sadness and all that's the life the human experience but but you know. the balance i think that maybe we're all seeking whether we realize it or not the balance is in um and always having a purpose and belonging and being being needed you know i think we need to feel like we're needed anyway and that's what i lack until I went to the Darfur and eventually the military. I didn't feel necessary. I felt like if I wasn't here, I wasn't around, like sure. My family would miss me and some friends and stuff like that, but the world would keep spinning totally fine without me. And not that I want the world to fall apart when I'm gone, but like no one wants to feel, you know what I mean? No one wants to feel like an impact.
Speaker #2
Sure, man. We want to have a purpose. We want to make a difference. I think it was Steve Jobs. He says he wants to make a dent in the universe. And I've been there too. I'll be honest. That's one of the reasons I joined the SEAL teams was to have a purpose and to make an impact just like you did. And then coming back to the dogs and the horses, I have a Belgian Malinois German Shepherd mix. And man, every morning she wakes up, she is on a mission, ready to play and ready to do something. And I have to work or she'll... chew up my couch or my bed or something else. And that's, that's actually happened, both of those. And then I've got, we used to, my, my ex-wife and I, we used to buy horses off the track that, you know, that maybe they weren't performing as well and they would still need a mission. And we would, or not we, she would teach them how to be hunter jumper horses. And you could see a difference in how they came alive when they had a new mission. But that kind of leads into my next question. So you know, when we're in the military or maybe as an athlete, you have these identities, right? You know, and many people, you hear of people when they transition out of the military or you hear, I know you're with MVP. I'm sure you get the same with the athletes who had their identity when they transitioned from being this athlete. They feel like a failure or they feel like this transition is the end of their story when when we know now that it's really just the end of a chapter in their lives. For you, how have you navigated the, for lack of a better term, the grief or maybe the ego loss that comes with letting go of who you used to be?
Speaker #0
Yeah, I mean, that's a tough one. I think we put a lot of stock, veterans and athletes, and probably many other people in other sectors, in our uniform, right? Or how... Maybe how society identifies us, we kind of feel like that is our identity. And it's not necessary. It's not true, period. But it makes sense that we would feel that way. And I think with the people in the camouflage and the people in the jersey, where both of those careers, while you can stay in the game in a different capacity or stay in the military in a different capacity, like at a fairly young age in regards to the rest of our life expectancy, at a fairly young age you peak. And there's not a lot of other professions like that where you're in your 20s and maybe 30s and it's like you're at your optimal performance level. Most things, that's just the beginning. You're just learning. You're an intern. And you're a part of something meaningful and purposeful. you know, sports and combat, completely different situations and a different type of stakes and all of the different types of sacrifice. But there are those things in both fields, you know what I mean? And it's just, yeah, it's tough. It can be very tough because that's the other thing too. We don't really do the plan B or the backup plan thing. And I think you know, there's obviously value in like thinking about the future, but also we're so focused on the mission right now. And we feel that, and it's probably true. It is true at some capacity that if you don't focus all your energy into this thing, then somebody else is going to take my spot or I'm not going to meet the standard or whatever that is, you know, and sport, I think even more so in sports, because there's always that next guy trying to take your job. And it's hyper competitive and there's only you know take the nfl there's only 32 teams that means there's only 32 starting quarterbacks and or whatever and uh and there's thousands if not millions that want to be that you know what i mean so that's that's great that's tough and you have to just you know tom beretti is a great example like obviously probably the greatest example a guy played for 23 years or something and won seven super bowls and wasn't the best athlete in the world, but just his whole... 24-7 was just the mission, was winning the next Super Bowl. And
Speaker #2
Tom Brady's first Super Bowl was my Hell Week kickoff. Oh, wow. And we got together as a class, a Buds class. on the training compound to watch that and it was the rams versus the pats uh super bowl 36 uh and we got together as a as a class thinking that it would be a good idea to to eat a whole bunch of pizza and drink some soda right before hell we kicked off and it kicked off literally within an hour after the game and we regretted every second of it oh my god that's soda was all over the beach i imagine yeah indeed
Speaker #1
indeed you said that better than i would nate i was Exactly.
Speaker #0
But yeah, the, I mean, but you know, everything speak to speak on food, everything, the guy put in his body and every, every rep, every, everything was just very, you know, precise. And it's like, yeah. So that's, that's just what it takes to be great. And I think that when that ends, whether you, even if you were planned retirement, you know, say you were in the teams for 20 years and it's like, or 30 years or whatever it is, and you think you're ready, you're planning your, and then you get out. It's like. a month later not everybody but most most of us a lot of us are just like like what am i doing now what i did i did the vacation i did that i took my breath i took the breath and now i'm just like i'm stir crazy the silence is killing me the lack of uh chaos uh tyler gray told me one time he was like i don't even and i used it in the in in the we made a movie about mvp i know we'll talk about mvp a bit but Yeah. I use the line in the movie where it's like most of my post-traumatic stress is from lack of traumatic stress. And that was something that Tyler had said once. And it just really hit me because I'm like, dude, that's so me. I mean, everybody's got experience with that, but that it hit me because I was like, that's, that is what it is. It's the lack of the chaos, you know, that adrenaline, because that just made me feel purposeful. Cause I'm like, here we go, you know, time to, time to fix things.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Well, you become alive. You know, we get rewarded for change. We get rewarded for putting ourselves out there, for taking risks, like for being, you know, to to do something higher than ourselves, like to work with some sort of purpose. And it's and it's like I could see like or just from you talking and looking at your career and what you've done and you're only like, what are you, 45 now or something like that,
Speaker #0
which is important for easy.
Speaker #1
OK, sorry, sorry. You're the young man here. John's the oldest one. I'm just kidding. No, I'm not.
Speaker #2
I know.
Speaker #1
I'm the oldest.
Speaker #2
I look the oldest.
Speaker #1
Age is just a number. It is.
Speaker #0
It's not.
Speaker #1
Yeah, I know. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, all these different hats you've worn, all the different careers that you've been a part of, there must be a tremendous learning curve in each one, which can be very humbling and very uncomfortable. How do you deal with that humility and the discomfort that comes with like...
Speaker #0
trying a new fucking thing you know it's good yeah yeah i mean i think uh i mean that sort of ended with honestly even even during the during the military i mean i was 23 when i you know when i signed and went off and that was even old going into it wasn't really old for the q course and it wasn't old for special forces but it was definitely old for basic training you know what i mean and so a little bit of that was like okay, well, well, so what, you know, there was a guy in my basic training class that was 28 or 29. And so it's like, I'm not that old. I'm just, you know, it's fine. And, uh, and then that certainly escalated even more when I, you know, walked on at Texas at, at 29.
Speaker #1
I know that's crazy.
Speaker #0
And, and, and just being a college student, that's, you know, I'm 10 years older than the other freshmen. It's definitely, um, it was, it was probably more weird to them than it was to me. I just was like, whatever i i mean this is yeah this is i guess my path i mean it was there was times where it was like i remember you know how like when you're in high school and every year the new freshman came in you're like that is a child yes how is that yeah there's no way i looked like that when i was a freshman and you did you just didn't realize that yeah it was like that 10x in college like what's in the new freshman on campus i'm like that is a kid you know yeah crazy um but uh yeah but it was like even in the in the locker room um you know with the longhorns like they the the young men i should say not kids that i played with like it it didn't take long for for i think at least from my perspective to feel like it was i kind of did just like fit in even though i was older than them and i realized that i recognized that but i also kind of knew my role i didn't feel that as disconnected as i thought i would um going into it. I thought that was going to be the biggest challenge of me going back to school and trying to play football was the social aspect. I'm like, this is going to be, that's one of the reasons I went to Texas. I went to, because Austin was a good size city. And I was like, well, at least if I don't get along with anybody in college, like if I just can't, if I don't fit in, I'll be able to meet people, make friends outside of the university because I've never... I mean, I'd been to Texas, but I never lived in Texas. I didn't know anybody there. So, yeah. So that was like, you know, it's just, yeah.
Speaker #1
Why'd you choose Texas? Why'd you choose UT? Like, just, sorry.
Speaker #0
I loved Austin. I loved Austin. The school, it's a great school. It's got a legendary football program. I mean, it just checked all the boxes, you know, even though it was a new place. But that was part of it. I wanted to go to a new place. I think I do embrace change, as you guys, you know, sort of mentioned. I like that. I like. I like a different, a different experience, a new experience. You know, it's just something, you know, it's, I'm just comfortable in the discomfort of that. Like I do like, I do like, I do like a shakeup, you know? I think I, I get, I'm not a big routine guy. And that's something that a lot of people are surprised about with, you know, from the military thing. I mean, Doesn't mean I'm not regimented and disciplined, but I just don't, I like to do things different. I like to, I like to do a different workout every day. I don't, I don't have like a strict diet plan or I need to eat these things, like the meal plan. I just kind of, I try to do everything healthy. You know, I try to eat healthy. I try to, as long as you're doing something exercise wise, you know, I think you're going to get a lot.
Speaker #1
out of that you know you sound like you like to experiment and play with things you know what i mean just try different things on you know which is like you know i mean i i appreciate that because um that's something that i can definitely identify with but it's like that could be really challenging for other other people you know just because like we're maybe you got a parent that's like yeah you know and it's just like fascinating and and but i feel like we get so much more out of life when we really experience things with this like playful mindset and there's or just like a creative mindset as well, which is. kind of a part of that playfulness.
Speaker #0
Yeah. No, I mean, I think that that goes back to the animal thing. I think, look, everyone's like, well, dogs love routine. They do. They do love routine. I'm like, they do because they're addicted to it though. I think if you, you know, when you, when you take dogs, for example, and, and put them around different environments, if when they're not familiar to, yeah, they might be scared at first, but like, I remember the first time we took our dog to the beach, uh, when I was a kid and he, you know, he, we, we lived in California, but he'd just never been to the ocean. And we first get out there and it's like, it's kind of cold and windy. And it's like this big, crazy, the waves, like that's probably for an animal that, or a child that's never seen that it's going to be like, Whoa. But once he got in the water and he's going crazy, he was having the time of his life. It was the greatest day of his life. And it was near the end of his life. You know what I mean? And he's ripping up and down the coastline. And I'm like, that's a great example of like, yes, they love routine, but it's probably a lot of it's because we get comfortable in it. And we are a bit addicted. to it because it's because there's no surprises you know we know what to expect right yeah it's safe exactly and there's nothing wrong with that ultimately but at least for me i i would always i think it would bother me that that there's there is other stuff out there that maybe i could experience that that could really open my eyes or turn me on to something new and and take me down another path that um i don't know there's just a lot to experience in this life and i think we should yeah
Speaker #2
Agreed. Yeah. So we've talked about your time in the Green Berets. We've talked about your volunteering time, your time with the Longhorns. And I know you went and did a short stint with Seattle Seahawks, right, as a long snapper. So your passion for the military, your passion for the athletes, that I believe led to merging veterans and players, the MVP program or organization that you helped to found. We've had JC Glick on the show before. I think JC played a major role with MVP. Now he's the CEO of the Commit Foundation, another phenomenal foundation or organization. So that's a long intro to my question. Can you just tell us about MVP? What is it? What's happening there? And what inspired you to found it?
Speaker #0
Yeah, I mean, yeah, huge shout out to JC. He really did help us a lot, especially because he kind of came into the fold right before COVID. And so making that transition from us just doing sort of. you know, in person, bringing together vets and athletes and working out in the gym and doing and huddling up and all that to this virtual, you know, world that we live in now. I mean, obviously we're doing this probably because of COVID, you know, I don't know, but like, like it's, it's very interesting, but anyway, yeah, he was, he was, he was instrumental in us kind of making that gift and, and, and reaching the masses and more people across the country, you know, and now we've got 10, 10 chapters and we're growing. like physical chapters, but we're growing leaps and bounds. And a lot of that is through, you know, this interface now. But yeah, so, you know, I spent, I spent, I did my time on active duty in SF. And then when I went to college, I transitioned into the National Guard, it's a 19th Special Forces Group, and actually would deploy, I deployed every summer while I was playing college ball. So I had this uniform and purpose and like constant chaos honestly and uh just this like the the the tempo like high you know high tempo uh life where it was like i'm going to class i'm playing football i take my finals early i go to afghanistan i come back three and a half months later i go to training camp i go right into school again and the football season and it's just like go, go, go, go, go. You know, and I chose all of it. I loved all of it, not complaining, but then, you know, I, I think football's over after college. I get an opportunity with the Seahawks, which was a very welcome surprise. And I, you know, I only played in one game, but it was, you know, it's just an amazing opportunity. I was up there in Seattle for about five months. And I was once again, like all my energy into that. Now I'm out of the military. So now I can just purely focus on football and I get to play in that one game, and I lead the team out of the tunnel with the American flag going, I got to do it in college. And I'm like bawling on the sidelines when the anthem is playing. And it's just this really cool experience. And then three days later, I'm cut. And that's it.
Speaker #2
Still though. Yeah.
Speaker #0
Backup quarterback got injured. They had to bring in another quarterback. And it didn't make sense to have two long neighbors on the roster. So that was it. that was it. And, you know, and the other long snapper was better. He'd been there six years. He was also about six years younger than me. Um, but he deserved the job and he deserved the job. So he, uh, so I guess I was gone done. And, and that was like, all of a sudden, you know, in the past, if something like that happened, it's like, well, I still got the military. I still got this other team. I didn't have that team. And all of a sudden it's like all my shit's going into a garbage bag, leave in the locker room. getting on a flight, you know, move, going back home. And, and I don't, uh, I just don't even know what's next. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, that happens to people all the time, but I just like quickly panicked. He like within days, I was just like, what am I going to do with my life? What's next? I'm sure I go back to the military. I just was, I was 34. So I wasn't like that old. I could have. Um, so I considered that and I'd met, I'd met Jay Glazer who Um, he's a Fox NFL, uh, Sunday analyst and, um, you know, big mental health advocate, not necessarily at the time yet, but has become one since, but he just had a lot of respect for, um, folks in the military because he was in New York city on nine 11. He lost one of his best friends, um, to the tech, to the attacks. And, um, and then of course he is through his work and. in the MMA world and the football world, he's just met so many athletes and coaches and people around sports that have really seen these guys often go into a very dark place when it's over. Right. Because it happens like that more often than not, you are just cut or you have a career ending injury or whatever it is. And it's like one day you're on top of the world. The next day you're lost in the sauce, you know? And, uh, so Jay, I had trained at his gym. in preparation for that opportunity in Seattle. And his gym was in Los Angeles. He's been sold it. But anyway, at the time, it was a place called Unbreakable Performance Center. And I went into the gym and I'd met him and he'd helped prepare me for that opportunity in Seattle. And after I got cut, I came back here. I stayed in his casita for a few days. It turned into a month actually. And trying to figure it out. And he was just like, all right, just slow down. Like. you look you can go back in the military if you want or figure out whatever crazy thing you're going to do next um but let me just tell you let me just pitch you this thing he's like i think i've seen it with you and I know you've seen it with a lot of vets and I've seen it with a lot of athletes like this, this like loss of identity and purpose when it ends, you know, and still being very young and sort of feeling like the sky is falling and all this stuff, because you put all those eggs in that basket and there's nothing wrong with that. You kind of had to, to get where you got, but you need to know that it's okay. And there's a lot of other stuff you can do. You can repurpose and re harness that, you know, that energy into something else. And it's going to be great. You just need to, um, you just need to ease into that, you know? And I think he's like, I would like to start a foundation organization that helps people like in the situation that you're in, not necessarily guys that did both, but just guys that did either one that sort of have that mutual respect for the other side. Cause athletes look up to vets. A lot of vets look up to athletes, you know, and there is that, that, uh, common bond. As far as, you know, everything beyond the actual field we're playing on or fighting on. Like that is different, of course. But the rest of it, the camaraderie, the structure, all those things, as we just discussed, are very similar. So that's why we started merging bets and players.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, being laser focused on one mission for years. Right. I went to this program. I think JC also went to it after called Tuck Next Step. I'm sure you're familiar with it. Nate. Tuck Next Step. I need you. Yeah. So Tuck. Yeah. Tuck Next Step, it's at Dartmouth University. Their business school is Tuck, and they have a 10-day crash course for business for transitioning service members and transitioning athletes. And day one, you know, it's just this room. Everybody kind of goes in there, and all the athletes are on one side. You've got gold medalists, former NBA players, all these guys and gals. And I'll tell you, the gold medalists or the Olympic athletes, you think they have it made? No, they don't. man, those, those folks live a hard life after they, they get cut. Like it could come down to tenths of a second, maybe even hundreds of a second and they lose their stipend. But anyhow, so we've got all the athletes on one side of this big room and we've got all the service members on the other side. And we're both looking across the room and like, Oh my gosh, those are athletes. And they're looking over us like those are seals and green berets. And, uh, and then the next day we go into class and it's one athlete, one service member, one athlete, one service member. And we sit there and talk. And yeah. there's a lot of overlap there in what it is we're experiencing. And I don't know if you've ever seen the documentary, The Weight of Gold with Michael Phelps. And basically it's how these athletes, they have so much pressure to perform. And then as soon as they're done, they're kind of thrown to the wolves. So I love what you're doing with MVP. I mean, that's a powerful mission that you guys have. So congrats on that, brother.
Speaker #0
Thank you. I had talked to, there's a gentleman named Trey Hardy, who was a decathlete, I believe a silver medalist that played at Texas or competed at Texas, I should say, went to UT. And then also a good friend of mine, Leo Manzano, who won the silver medal in the mile in, I believe in the 2012 games. And both of those guys, silver medalists, you know, went through some really tough stuff and are now, you know, back training, training folks and like kind of back. it took him a while to get back to the sport because it was like one of those things you feel like a pariah you feel like when you when it's over you feel like you shouldn't you're just like i need to get away from this because i'm not needed anymore but what trey had told me at least at certain at one time or another the the number one determining factor of suicide amongst olympians was silver medals because you are i mean you want a silver medal you're just you're like a double whammy But it's like, you feel like I'm the first loser. And I just was so close to that, to gold. I was so close to, you know, that what I put, what I poured everything into. And I just didn't quite, I'm just barely not good enough or whatever that is.
Speaker #1
And then you lose your identity. Then you're like, then the games are over. And it's like, now who the fuck am I? You know, I'm like, not only second place, the first loser, but like,
Speaker #2
I don't need to borrow it. right in their minds in their minds yeah and i've heard like bronze medalists they have a better sense of achievement or accomplishment than the silver medalists because they're like hey i almost didn't get on the on the podium right and the silver medal like almost i almost got gold but i didn't quite have it right that's wild to think about that Well, right on, man. I know you've got a short timeline here, so we'll start to wrap it up. I've got one more question. I'll throw it over to you after that. No,
Speaker #1
no, go ahead, John. You got it.
Speaker #2
Keep rolling. I mean, just from our conversation and what I know about you, Nate, it seems like. You jump in before you know how deep the water is, right? You're like, oh, well, I'm just going to show up in Sudan. I have no idea what is going to happen. I'm going to go into the play for the Longhorns. I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. For someone feeling stuck or uncertain about their purpose, maybe what their next step is, what would you recommend for them to start creating this new change or this new life? And how do you build the trust to move forward? even when you don't know what that next step or what the path is going to look like.
Speaker #0
Yeah. That's, I mean, I do get asked that a good amount and I think it just depends on the individual for sure. But I think of it, I often think of things in, first of all, I'm a glass half empty guy. It doesn't mean I'm a pessimist. It just means I recognize I'm not, I'm not satisfied with the glass being half full. Like I want to keep working until it's full. Right. So it's like, I think people mistaken that for like, oh, you're just, you know, you're Eeyore, you see the bad and everything. It's like, no, no, no. I just see the potential. I see the potential in this thing. You know what I mean? Otherwise I wouldn't give it any time of my time of day. So, you know, I just think it's sort of looking, looking at it from, you know, taking a step back and looking at it from the exterior and kind of some of the things we were speaking about, like, you know, what is important to you? Like, what is the most important thing to you? And if, if, look, if, if it's not, if it's not really a priority, if it's just something you're interested in, or you think you're, you think you'd like to try or whatever, and it's a big life shift, then maybe it's not worth it, you know? But if it's something that's like continuously clawing at you and you're just like, you can't stop thinking about it, you know, and this can be relationships. This can be anything in your life. to let that just die on the vine and not try and cultivate something there is just crazy i mean we talk about it all the time and you know so in society it's like well the like like the way that i live my life people are like that's crazy you do these crazy things i'm like no crazy is spending your entire life doing something you hate because you thought you you you know you you would you were worried about failing the other thing and then like you just like you just like gonna live in that. you know, forever. And you don't have to, like, of course we all need to work and do things we don't love to do to supplement our dreams at times. And, and even when you're, you're living your dream, like I think I'm kind of doing, like I'm doing the things that I'm still doing a bunch of shit. I don't want to do every day. You know, that's just part of it. Like that's life. It's just, it's never going to be, you're just, Oh, I just wake up every morning and I love my life and I love my job and I love my, you know, everybody in my world. It's like. No, that's not the reality. But I am able to take that step back and be like, I'm very grateful and I'm glad that I'm at least trying to do these things because I could take another path if it was strictly monetary goals. I think I've done enough in my past that I could probably find a very well-paying job that would be maybe comfortable and whatever, but it wouldn't be doing something that I'm passionate about. What I'm passionate about is storytelling and trying to make movies. And so that's what I'm doing now. We're in the edit now on an 80th anniversary D-Day documentary, which I think is super important. It's not going to make any money, but I think it's an important story to keep telling. We're tracking down these guys that are over 100 and letting them kind of tell their story one last time. And I love that. And it's like, it sucks so much of my time and energy and all this. And I could, instead of this, I could go. do something that would be a lot more comfortable and less risky and all that. But I would always wonder like, what if I would have just tried to make that movie? You know, I wish I would have. And it would have been really cool to help carry on that legacy and tell a story or whatever that is. So I don't know. I just think that to me, because it's not for everybody, those prioritizing that way is not for everybody. But for me, like I have to, I just can't. I can't live any other way. I got to prioritize the things that I'm passionate about and find a way to supplement the rest, find a way to pay the bills and feed the family and do those things. Like, you know, there's a way to do it though. There's always a way.
Speaker #2
There is, there is. I think that's what Will and I are doing right now is trying to find a way to supplement this show for five fucking years.
Speaker #1
It's slowly coming together, slowly coming together, but we love it.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And one thing I think that, that, and then we'll close. It's like, I think. One thing that really helps people, and we hear it more from a lot of the guests we have, is like being around other people, being around other men, you know, that are just help you to, you know, kind of... check your thinking or provide inspiration you know let me know when maybe you're kind of fucking off and fucking off and not like you know heading the right direction um because i know that's been a part of my path too it's just being around other great men like like yourselves like i mean i'm in contact with john all the time and
Speaker #0
we really help each other so no you need that you need you know leaders don't have to necessarily have a higher rank or you know be in a higher position but like you need people that you do look up to the way that they live their life. you aspire to be more like them and you know, they'll hold you accountable. Like you don't have those people. It's going to be real hard to do it on your own for sure.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Amen to that. Amen to that. Well, Nate, brother, this has been fantastic. Thank you so much for, for sharing your stories, for taking some time to practice some of your storytelling here or share some of your storytelling. Rather. We thoroughly enjoyed it, man. And love what you're doing all around with the making the movies with the MVP. I mean, with, with everything that you're doing. So. I hope that next time we run into one another, you don't give me COVID again, which I'll just leave. I'll leave the audience with the fact that Nate gave me COVID. I don't know whether that's true or not.
Speaker #0
Theory.
Speaker #1
Thank you for saying that, Nate. You know, that sounds a little dramatic, I got to say.
Speaker #2
But anyway, great, great job, man.
Speaker #0
That's right.
Speaker #2
That's right. Yeah. Good stuff, man. Will, I'll turn it over to you to wrap it up.
Speaker #1
No, that's everything. Nate, it's so great to have you today. Thank you for sharing. I'm putting the work in the world and living a life of passion because I know just being around somebody that's living a life of passion can actually maybe ignite somebody else to move in that direction too. You're a beacon of light for so many. That's Nate Boyer, everybody. That's it. Absolutely. All right, everyone.
Speaker #2
Thanks for joining us. Thank you,
Speaker #1
Nate. Pleasure,
Speaker #2
Nate. Until next time, everyone, take care. Bye-bye.
Speaker #3
Thank you for joining us today. We hope you walk away with some new tools and insights to guide you on your life journey. New episodes are being published every week, so please join us again for some meaningful discussion. For more information, please check out mentalkingmindfulness.com.