Transcription

• Talaya

  Hello everyone, this is Talaya Dendy and you're listening to Navigating Cancer Together, the show that has something for everyone facing cancer. Why? Because everyone is different with different needs, beliefs, and perspectives. Thank you so much for joining us for this episode. I encourage you to open your minds and your hearts. Today our very special guest is Sophie Delorier. Sophie has been mentoring people to transform their lives for 25 years. She started her journey working with sales and leadership teams in Fortune 500 companies across North America. Now she mentors people to transform any area of their life, relationship, health, happiness, and wealth, so that they manifest and make their dreams their reality. Sophie joins us to share her experience with stage one breast cancer five years ago. And of course, she has so much more. Sophie, thank you so much for joining us today and welcome.

• Sophie

  Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

• Talaya

  Thank you, Sophie. My pleasure. You were diagnosed with stage one breast cancer five years ago. But first, Sophie, let's talk about what you were doing before your cancer diagnosis and what life looked like for you.

• Sophie

  Okay, I was, I have to think about exactly what point in time in my life that was. I had just come off a very big corporate consulting career. I was traveling across North America working with sales teams and sales leaders, training the leaders in communication and coaching, and training the teams in sales skills, sales mindsets, and sales processes. I semi-retired, I guess, around the age of 39 from that position. I was pretty burnt out. It was a demanding career, and the contract ended, and I just chose not to. to renew it or to look for another contract. And then one day I just woke up and I couldn't walk. Like my back gave out on me. And it was just a manifestation of really bad burnout, to be honest. And so I went to work on my body and I started to do some more healing in my mindset. I ended up going through a divorce very shortly after that. And in the same year I went through the divorce, I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. So it's almost like there was this buildup of events that happened that finally led to the breast cancer. And looking back now and reflecting, I can see that the way that I was living my life was pretty demanding with a high sense of urgency. And after refusing breast cancer treatment, I did the lumpectomy, but after refusing treatment, I did a significant amount of research and I started to realize some of the other behaviors I was engaging in that contributed to my diagnosis.

• Speaker #0

  Very interesting, Sophie. And you just mentioned that you refused treatment. What gave you the strength to refuse treatment? And then also, how did you make that decision? That's a tough decision to make.

• Speaker #1

  So I was 42. I lived a big life. I had a flashy corporate consulting career. I was being flown all across North America staying in high profile hotels. I had my ex-husband and I had built quite the business together with my brother. And we had a real estate portfolio, a home in Miami. We had fancy cars. And it just wasn't something that was a life that I wanted for myself anymore. The vibration of that life is almost a little bit narcissistic, if I was being honest with you. You know, the way society conditions us to believe that we need to find our value or our sense of worth inside of our accomplishments, which is like being a... I want to say it's like an addiction to external validation, you know? And so I started to come to these realizations throughout the later journey of my career. And I just wasn't finding any joy or happiness or peace in making more money or driving a flashy car or wearing, you know, fancy shoes. And so when I got the cancer diagnosis, it put a lot of things into perspective for me. I had... these feelings of wanting to be a mother for a long time in my life, which were suppressed. I didn't have the lifestyle to support it. I didn't have the partner to support it. And I had outdated excuses that I didn't have enough time or enough money to have a child. And so part of the process when I was going through the divorce is I started to really think about what I wanted out of my life because I started to really ask myself these questions, these existential questions like, is there more? Is this all there is? you know, and I got the diagnosis and I had already thought about revisiting the idea of having a child. And so when I was diagnosed. It was like my choice was taken from me. It's almost as though I would not be a mother. It was not what the doctor suggested for me. And I got very connected to the desire of having a child. And I got very connected to what it would be like to be a mother, what it would be like to have that kind of bond, to have that kind of love, to have that kind of legacy, to have that kind of growth. And so when the doctors suggested treatment, they suggested 25 radiation treatments in two years of tamoxifen. So I was 42 years old. I flat out said, I don't think I'll have chances of having a baby after I'll be 44. Yes, women have children later in life all the time, but let's just get real. The percentage is less. I was already 42. I already had less than a 5% chance of getting pregnant. I had already gone through a pretty significant traumatic event, the divorce after 18 years, and then in the same year being diagnosed with cancer. So anyone who's been diagnosed knows. the trauma of just hearing those words and how fear-inducing that is. And I have to be very honest with myself and what is it I want? And that's what I wanted. And so you asked me, how did I have the strength? Well, I know who I am as a person. I know what I put my mind to. When I set my mind to something, I can accomplish it. I asked the doctors what it would be like if I changed my thoughts and I changed my habits, I changed my behaviors. I like to change my thoughts. Like, you know, I started to do research and understood that cancer is based on two main fears that, you know, well, two main emotions, fear and anger. And I started to look at, okay, well, what am I like, where's these fears and where's this anger is coming from? And then I started to realize I had these people pleasing tendencies. I wobbled on my boundaries. I operated from guilt and obligation. I prioritize the needs of everyone else. And so as much as I wanted to blame somebody else for the way I felt I was being treated, the truth of the matter was, is I was treating myself like crap. And I was angry at myself. And so I could see that the projection of that energy inwards was causing dis-ease. And I knew, I just knew if I did the emotional healing work, because I've been doing emotional healing work. I mean, it's how I went from, you know, pretty much living on the poverty line to where I was, that I could get through this. And tamoxifen and radiation were only going to give me a 15%. benefit of the cancer not recurring. I only had a 30% chance that the cancer was going to recur. The reason they thought I had a 30% chance that the cancer was going to recur is because I was in my early 40s. Women live to 80. So the amount of time I had left in my life indicated the chances of it coming back were higher than an older woman. And then when I asked the doctors, the radiologists specifically, what the chances of... like how it would reduce my chances of the cancer coming back if I did all of that work. She just flat out told me that that's not a model that they believe in. And so I didn't understand how putting another toxin in my body that could induce in secondary cancer or that could induce, you know, chronic fatigue or that could induce an autoimmune disorder, meaning the radiation, how putting that in my body and then doing two years of tamoxifen, which was only going to reduce my chances of getting cancer by 15% was stronger. Then what I had prescribed as a protocol for myself. And so I chose to bet on myself. But before I made the final decision, I asked the doctor very specifically. And I feel it's so important that I say this all the time on a podcast because they don't present. They didn't present for me the facts in a way that allowed me to make my most informed decision. So I asked and I want to just preface it with when you hear the word cancer. The fear like that, like, okay, so if you think about the food chain, what gets human beings? Disease. Okay, so now all of a sudden, like, I'm facing my mortality against the one thing that humans can't fight. Like, it's just that's how your conditions to think, right? So I'm sad for the people who don't speak English, don't know how to navigate the system, right? Because they're not necessarily going to be able to connect the dots or have the capacity to ask questions. So I specifically... asked, what are the chances the cancer recurs if I do nothing? And he said, well, that's a different spreadsheet. I said, so could I know what those statistics are, please? Like, why am I not even having this conversation? Why is it only a conversation about treatment? And he's like, because we want to keep you safe. I'm like, okay, but you're not even giving me all my options. Like, you're not even giving me the statistical data for me to make the most educated and informed decision. So I said, please show me the spreadsheet that tells me the percentage of recurrence if I choose not to do treatment. So he goes to his desk and gets this spreadsheet and he's like. I mean, get emotional because it's just, it's really unfortunate that this is the way it goes. And I'm not here to profess that everyone doesn't need treatment. That's not the point. The point is, I feel like you need to have the most information to make your best informed and educated decision for what aligns with who you are as a human. And so I had, I forget if it was 82 or 89% chance that the cancer did not come back in five years systemically. And then five years after that, it would go down to five. if it was 89 and five years later it would go down to 82 and then five years later it would go down and like that's just how it would progress and like at this point in time I'm like in my 40s like honestly like if I make it to 70 I'm good like you know like like no but really like I'm not trying to be morbid or dark it's just like okay that's my lifespan okay but can I like at least have an opportunity to make the next 30 years the way that I want them to be and give me a full chance to to really give get what I want out of life and so I said to him okay I'm a little bit confused yeah and I'm not sure if I'm delusional or crazy I've actually said this because I was like is it absurd for me to think that if I have let's use the word 89 even 82 because I in this moment forget an 82 chance that cancer doesn't come back in five years and then and then and then that I'm okay not to get treatment yeah and he said you know Sophie When you put it like that, like when I present the facts to myself like that.

• Talaya

  Yeah.

• Sophie

  Yeah. Right. She's like, I would support that. And I was just, I actually said to him, why did you not present that to me? And he said, because it's my job to keep you safe. And I was just, no, actually, that's not what I feel my tax paying dollars are doing. I feel my tax. Yes. So I can make my own choice. He goes, well, that leaves us open to liability. So he said, in all honesty, Sophie, if the cancer came back locally, we could do another lumpectomy and take the cancer out. But your chances are very strong that it's not going to come back systemically. Because the concern is, and I want to be honest with the listeners, is that as you as as I don't want to say all of us, because I don't want to assume that people know this, but. It is a possibility breast cancer metastasizes into a different type of cancer. And that's what they mean by come back systemically. It shows up as liver cancer or whatever type of cancer that is. And it comes back more dangerous. And then that's why they want, you know, to eradicate it out of the body. I get it. But I still feel like that's taking away my autonomy. That's taking away my self-sovereignty. That's taking away my independence. That's taking away my opportunity to choose for what's best for me. And then. it's taking away my choice to risk you know and it's and and I felt like it would be taking away my chances to bet on myself and prove to myself I could do it like that's the biggest piece like I I almost didn't have an opportunity to show myself you know and become a new version of myself yes and step into the higher level of myself you know and I'm like pounding my leg here because because that Somewhere deep down inside, Talia, if I was being really honest with you, I feel like, and you know, many people may find this triggering who's listening or even, I lost the word now, but I feel like I manifested cancer because on my own, I was not able to break my people-pleasing tendencies. I was not able to have conversations with the most important people in my life and tell them. That I'm tired of operating from guilt. I'm tired of putting myself last. I'm tired of bending my boundaries. And if I never had gotten sick, and I did, I'll be honest, used it as my backbone, as my motivation to have the hard conversations to transform the dynamic of the relationships so that I could stop abandoning myself. Yes. And return. to have integrity with myself again. And it's the biggest gift. Cancer for that is the biggest gift because I had an opportunity to renegotiate the terms of my life. You know, and I just saw the cutest little movie with my son the other day. It was an animated movie and it was about this soul who... you know, he fell down as a manhole and he died and went to heaven. And he wasn't, you know, this movie.

• Talaya

  Yes.

• Sophie

  And he wasn't ready to die. And he fought to have a second chance so hard. And then they gave him a second chance because they were so inspired by how much he wanted his life. Like I started tearing up because I feel like I was given that second chance because of all the negotiating I did with the universe during the three months I waited to get my treatment protocol. Like it's a long time to wait. And it was like, it's almost like. I had to fight my way to showing that I want an opportunity to do it over and right again, or not even to do it over, to make the upgrades.

• Talaya

  Yes, I love that. I love that. Sophie, you have said a mouthful.

• Sophie

  Yes, sorry.

• Talaya

  No, no, in a good way. Don't take that the wrong way. You have shared so many important tips and facts because what you shared really mirrored my experience too. And the fact that cancer, in a sense, woke you up as well to like, hey, the way that I'm living, the way that I'm treating myself, it's not right. Let me really evaluate other areas of my life where I need to do some work. I need to look inward and do some work as well. And I just want to applaud you for that, because that's tough to do. Yeah, that's something that I really encourage, you know, people that I work with to do as well is that, you know, during this time. I know it's a lot of work, but examine other areas of your life. So when whatever you decide, treatment, no treatment, when you decide to move forward and move through the cancer, move through this part of your life, you want to make sure that you are not bringing all that old baggage with you. Yeah. And so great job, Sophie. I love your story. I love everything that you've done. And just you took control of the situation and you fought. and you said, hey, I want answers because I want to make the best choice for me. There's other things I want to do in my life and the decision I make may impact that. So wonderful job, Sophie. You are a great example of what anyone that gets a diagnosis should do for themselves because I think that's an example of how you honored yourself. So thank you. Thank you for sharing that. And yeah. You touched, Sophie, a little bit on your experience with, you know, your health care team and the health care system. Once you had that conversation and you made that decision, was there any further pushback from your health care team at all?

• Sophie

  No. Well, actually, that's not true. The director of oncology was a friend of mine. It's funny. I was in the waiting room and she walks out. We both look at each other and we were just like. I remembered she was a doctor. I just forgot that's the type of doctor she was. So she took me for dinner and she wanted to impress upon me her concerns with my choice. And she wanted me to understand the severity of my situation and the treatment protocol was the best avenue for me to take. And she took the time to take me for dinner to have that conversation. And at dinner, I still told her no. That was the only pushback I would consider. I wouldn't necessarily consider it pushback. She just was concerned for me and wanted to make sure she was being a good friend. Yeah.

• Talaya

  Doing her due diligence. Yeah. Yeah. That's understandable.

• Sophie

  Yeah,

• Talaya

  absolutely. Sophie, how did you cope emotionally and mentally, like with getting a lumpectomy and any other forms of treatment that you decided to do? How did you cope with the whole situation emotionally and mentally?

• Sophie

  Ugh. Like... I feel like that's a one, you're asking like a one word answer. Like, did I do well? Well, I don't know that I did that well. I'm like, how did I do? So like, what, what, what, what did I do in terms of, um, I was working with a Reiki person. I was working with a therapist. I was working with a personal trainer to move my body. I was walking almost 10 kilometers a day, um, just because I would, I would lie down in my bed and then I would cry and then I'd have to get up and move. I did a lot of movement. I did a lot of reading, a lot of reading and journaling, meditating. Those were, and I spent a lot of time in nature. I actually, because I was going through the divorce, my social network had already constricted. I had a big life. Like we used to throw parties with 200 people. I had a big life. And I think like two women came with me. So I had already been in the process of isolating. And I mean, I was, it was. a challenge to go from that type of social social life to to almost nothing and by the time I got cancer I had already adjusted to that so I pulled back even a little bit more and I just really focused on myself to be honest with you just a lot of learning and reading and understanding of reflecting of like what why why would I wobble on my boundaries and like what was behind that and how did that affect me and how am I going to move like what's the correction I'm going to put in moving forward, almost like reprogramming, you know, like I unpacked a lot of stuff. I unpacked so much of the way I was behaving and then took time to start to put things back together again and during my cancer period I was having hard conversations with people and and I was I was lashing out in the beginning unfortunately I wasn't that elegant and telling people how I was not happy with how I was putting myself but you had to get it out but I had to get it out you know and the people that really wanted to be in my life they didn't work with me and it was great it was great And it was one of the most challenging, most vulnerable experiences I've ever had. I've never felt so vulnerable. I felt like I failed myself.

• Speaker #0

  You know, Sophie, with what you've shared, if you're comfortable, I think it's important to go back in time a little bit. Because sometimes people don't really understand how you got to a certain point. Right. And with the people pleasing and abandoning yourself and putting everyone before you. If you're comfortable, do you mind sharing what...

• Talaya

  your childhood was like for you what kind of shaped who you were at that time yeah my parents divorced when I was two so I didn't really have a father figure around my mom was young my parents were young they were like 22 when they had my brother and I so I mean like my mom was a single mom at the age of 24 with two kids under three yeah it's a lot like now in my yeah it's tough she had a pretty serious accident you when I was young. So like, there was quite a bit of trauma in the house. She married an abusive alcoholic at one point in time. So there's that. Is that what you're asking for? Like, what was my Yeah, yeah, there's. So I guess what you're asking, too, is like, I had unprocessed childhood wounds. And I thought I thought I'd worked through that in my 20s. And I was always an ambitious person. I mean, I was an ambitious child. We didn't have a lot. I came from very humble beginnings. And so I adopted, I adopted people pleasing and wobbling on my boundaries if I thought it was going to move me forward in life. Yeah. That happens. That happens, especially if, you know, we're typically very ambitious. It's like, hey, we're going to do what we need to do to get to that next step.

• Sophie

  Yeah.

• Talaya

  And you don't want to step on anyone's toes, especially the people. who can make the decisions and it just keeps on going that way yeah yeah and anything not to go backwards that's right like that's I think it's important to say that too I was so scared to be poor again oh yes yeah

• Sophie

  I mean well and that fear drove behaviors and so I was like it's fear-based behavior you that leads to disease because it creates anxiety in the body. Anxiety creates inflammation. Inflammation is the precursor to every disease out there. And so the more I'm doing something that is not in alignment with my core, and that's what's making a lot of people sick, in my opinion.

• Talaya

  That's right. You know, Sophie, I'm not sure if you're aware, but it's been found that adverse childhood experiences. can cause cancer later in life in people. And so I really wish people were more aware of how important it is to take care of those childhood traumas and wounds, because not only can it affect your life, it can affect your health and all of these different things. And a lot of times people don't even understand where that's coming from. And so how did you learn about, you know, you mentioned in a prior conversation, like mindset, You just mentioned Reiki and all of these things. How did you learn about that? What got you started on that path, Sophie?

• Sophie

  So my mom did try to take us to a therapist when we were young, my brother and I, but we just weren't having it. And then actually my ex-husband introduced me to this woman and she introduced me to an institute called the Sterling Institute of Relationship, which, and then I don't know if you've heard of it. And then I also was introduced to a personal development. It's a global company called Landmark Education. And it's all about taking radical responsibility for your life. And it started to really unravel. That started to unravel some things. And I spent a lot of time there. I spent like seven years there. Because the growth and the personal development for me, I just loved it. And then I became a coach. And I have several different types of coaching degrees. going through that process, unraveled some stuff. And I just started to get interested in having my own coach or my own therapist, depending on where the fit was. And then I started to understand when I was 39 that my body, something was up because I couldn't walk one day. Right. So when I was 39, I burnt out. I just couldn't walk. And so I started to learn about somatic work and breathing. And I started to understand that emotions get stored in the body. What the mind forgets, the body remembers. And then I just started doing a lot of reading. And yeah, that's how I started the journey of it.

• Talaya

  I think it's so important for people out there who are not aware, but they want to start the journey, but they're not sure how, that there are different resources out there. So, and then Sophie, you shared some things that you learned from your journey, but is there anything else in particular that you want to share that you really want to make sure the listeners know about? about your journey and what came out of it, what you gained from it.

• Sophie

  From my perspective, healing is a lifelong thing. Yes. And it comes in layers. And your body is always communicating to you. And I had red flags I didn't listen to. And there's always communication happening from the body. And when we ignore it or suppress it, we... lose the opportunity to put the correction in or the upgrade in or to shift early so that we don't have to deal with the crisis. And so my hope for everybody is they don't wait for a life crisis like a divorce or a health crisis like cancer or some other form of, or a financial crisis, before they start to get in alignment with themselves, before they stop abandoning themselves. It's harder. It's just harder. It's just harder when you like to go through that type of breakdown, that type of heartbreak and to be at such a low and then try to rebuild, I feel is more challenging than putting in the subtle shifts as you're going along the way. You know, it's like, gosh, you're becoming an Olympic swimmer and every day the coach gives you a little tweak and you get better and better and better rather than you've never swam before. And now you've got to go swim for your life.

• Talaya

  Exactly. It's much harder. it's kind of like you have to unlearn so many different things while at the same time learning something new it's a lot well and navigating the unknown of it yes and the fear of it and the like all it's just all of it you know you know there's like you

• Sophie

  know there's the the learning of having a forgiveness practice and like and starting to forgive and like being like even going through the whole process is understanding that forgiveness is something you do for yourself and not for somebody else. And then, you know, the healing of your inner child and, you know, the rebuilding the relationship with yourself and then the way you're communicating for yourself internally with yourself, talk or with others. Like it's just a lot.

• Talaya

  It is a lot. Sophie, how are you nurturing your inner child today?

• Sophie

  Well, I could do better to be honest. But that's not the answer to your question. It's just a revelation. So I learned, I've been denying my own needs for so long. I really didn't understand what really brought me joy. And it's a process of learning that for those of you who don't know that for yourself. But I love to walk in nature. I love to be at the beach. So I have a beautiful water view from my condo. I live really close to the beach. I live really close to a lot of walking trails. I love sunsets and sunrises. So. I sit with my son. We have this like evening ritual where we say goodnight to the sun and we thank the sun for its light. We thank the sun for the beauty. We thank the sun for its heat. And, you know, I nurture my inner child. Like right now, I guess the short answer as I'm speaking this out loud is, is I play with my son like I'm a playmate. And I, you know, I feel emotional right now. I just, I feel like I didn't get a lot of opportunity to play when I was young, to become an adult really quickly. And I just like to play, to be honest. I really do. I want to play through everything. You know, I just want to make everything fun.

• Talaya

  Yeah, I love that. I think that's so important because as we go through life, it's like we're told we need to be so serious and so together all the time and just on all the time. And it's like, no, I want to let my hair down and just run around and act goofy and do fun things. And it's OK. So I really love that you view your time with your son as like a playmate. I think that's beautiful. Sophie, any other things that you feel like your cancer diagnosis showed up as a blessing? Any other things that you want to touch on as far as it being a blessing for you?

• Sophie

  Well, I feel... that I have more purpose in life now. You know, I feel like, I feel that. life was a training ground and cancer was PhD. And there's something for me to share now. I have a wisdom inside and perhaps my soul was always destined to be this person to support other people, to not abandon themselves. And, you know, I got stuck having a little too much fun or addicted to the life that I was in. I didn't need to be there for so long. I could have been on this part of the journey a lot quicker. Okay. But so it gave me purpose. And I think it really highlighted to me where my addictions to poor behavior was, you know, fast lifestyle, fancy cars, the jazz, the flash of life that, you know, I was conditioned to believe would make me happy as a young person. Well, I guess that's the other thing, too. The gift is, is I find real joy in the little moments in life now.

• Talaya

  That's beautiful. I just really like the transformation that you've made. I can hear the peace in your voice and I can feel it in your spirit. Like, I feel like you're really at peace now and you're happy with who you are. So I can feel that in your presence. So great job. I just think that that's beautiful because people need to know that that's possible. And it's never too late to change. It's never too late to be who you're meant to be. Thank you. You're welcome. Sophie, what advice would you give someone who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer?

• Sophie

  Oh, yeah, that's so good. Well, breathe. And it doesn't mean life is over. Like, don't go there. Like, I understand the struggle of managing your mind. And, you know, this might be. whatever it is, but I really see it as an opportunity. So look for the opportunity that this crisis has presented, you know, and go for the opportunity, like figure that out for yourself. For me, I got to reinvent who I was as a woman. I got to show up with new boundaries and new standards and new ways of communicating. You know, I completely reinvented how I show up. That's a gift. And so I believe that any woman who's going through cancer, breast cancer, has an opportunity to use it as a space to reinvent themselves. Be patient with it.

• Talaya

  Yeah. You know, there's a scripture that says, be patient. God isn't done yet.

• Sophie

  Yeah.

• Talaya

  You know, that's kind of what I get from your story. Like, hey, you know, you're on this healing journey and you said it earlier. It's ongoing. It's lifelong. It's one of those things where it doesn't stop. You know, you just keep going to the next, you know, the next point in the journey. So, Sophie, today you are helping women free themselves from conditioning. You're helping women find their voice and transform their lives. Please tell the listeners more about that work that you're doing. And who is your ideal client?

• Sophie

  My ideal client is a woman in her 40s and 50s. Then again, what were you asking me for? How to help them find their voice?

• Talaya

  Yes. How to help them free themselves from conditioning, find their voice and transform their lives.

• Sophie

  How do I do that?

• Talaya

  Yes. How do you do that?

• Sophie

  Well, we have to look at what's not working in their life the way they want it to work. And then we start to look at their thoughts and their behaviors and what they're doing that's keeping what's not working in existence. And we unpack and we start to look at, OK, so where are you plebe-pleasing? Where are you wobbling on your boundaries? Where are you not speaking up when you don't want to do something and you're doing it anyways? You know, it's a one-on-one conversation or it's a group conversation and it's it's an evolving conversation to highlight What's going on in the background so that the woman can make a choice for herself? There's so much conditioning that a woman in her 40s and 50s has had It's a little different as the women get younger because more awareness has come around but and you know It's it's more challenging for women who are older that have told them they've been conditioned to silence their voice, their intuition, to not trust themselves, like almost their entire life. So then now it's about rebuilding their confidence. It's rebuilding how do they know how to trust themselves. That's the challenging work for some.

• Talaya

  And that's a lot. It's a lot. You just said something that I think is so important. And it's how do you help women? trust themselves? How do you help them get there?

• Sophie

  It's in the small, everyday little actions. So many of the women I work with have been not keeping promises to themselves because they don't feel like what's underneath it is, this isn't necessarily something they're aware of in the moment until it gets unpacked, but what's underneath it is. they don't feel worthy. And I mean, that's, that's unfortunately an impact of the patriarchy and how women have been conditioned, you know, 40 and older. And so it's like, we're going to do one small promise a day and we're going to keep it. So if that's drinking one glass of water, it's drinking one glass of water. And it's about doing what you say you're going to do for yourself and keeping the promise because as you keep your promises, you're going to start to retrain yourself that you can trust yourself to do something. And the goal is start small. Because if you start with going to the gym five times a week and then you don't do it, like it's just you can't trust yourself to go to the gym. Let's just try an hour a week, you know, like small little goals.

• Talaya

  Wonderful. Yeah, I like that. Start small, but just keep building on it.

• Sophie

  Yeah,

• Talaya

  that's doable. Sophie, what is one word that you would use to describe how you have survived cancer?

• Sophie

  What's one word? So diligent.

• Talaya

  Okay.

• Sophie

  Discipline.

• Talaya

  Yeah. Great. Yes. You took charge right away. I love that.

• Sophie

  Well, also like healing and manifestation and transformation is not a passive activity. It's like healing, like the word that the visual is like, I'm an Olympian. I'm committed to the healing. I'm committed to the actions. Like you, you, you can't, I, I. just do the work diligently.

• Talaya

  That's right. That's right. Consistently. Every day.

• Sophie

  Every day.

• Talaya

  Even when you don't feel like it, you show up for yourself. That's what it's about. Yeah. Sophie, you are so real. I love that about you. If there are women out there who are looking for the kind of support that you can provide, where can they learn more about you and the work that you do?

• Sophie

  The best place is Instagram. So at... the Sophie Deloria, T-H-E-S-O-P-H-I-E-T-E-S-L-A-U-R-I-E-R-S.

• Talaya

  I will put that information in the listen notes so that anyone who's interested, they can look you up on Instagram.

• Sophie

  Thank you so much.

• Talaya

  You're welcome. Before we end, Sophie, what is one I wish I would have known?

• Sophie

  I say this all the time. I wish I would have known that wobbling on my boundaries could have led to cancer.

• Talaya

  Oh, yes. Yeah.

• Sophie

  I wish I would have known that not enforcing a consequence would have led to me being very sick.

• Talaya

  Unfortunately, that's not something they teach us.

• Sophie

  Yeah, no, that's why I teach it.

• Talaya

  Yeah. Yeah. Sophie, is there anything else that you would like to share before we end today?

• Sophie

  Yeah. In the biggest breakdown and in the deepest. pit of your heartbreak and pain can come the deepest joy of your life. I did the work and had a baby eight months after my lumpectomy at the age of 43 with less than a 5% chance because of my age and then think about after cancer. I focused, I was committed, I was disciplined and I did the work and The universe rewards that. The universe is a partner. You don't have to do it alone. This is where people call it trust. This is where people call it faith. This is where people call it God. That's the energy to align with. And it's possible, regardless of the diagnosis, it's possible.

• Talaya

  Thank you for sharing that, Sophie. Very powerful and truthful words. You are an example that it's possible. I just want to thank you, Sophie, for being so vulnerable, sharing your story, your wisdom, and then also giving people hope. Thank you. Hey, I can make the best decision for me and everything will work out. And I just continue to do the work.

• Sophie

  Just keep making the best decision for you.

• Talaya

  Yeah, wonderful. That is a great way to end this episode, Sophie. Again, thank you. You are such a blessing. such a peaceful person. Thank you for everything that you do and for shining your light in the world. We need more people like you, Sophie, more truth tellers.

• Sophie

  Thank you.

• Talaya

  You're welcome. I would like to give a shout out to the listeners. Thank you for joining us. Please be sure to follow, share, subscribe so that you can easily find this podcast and listen again. You can listen to Navigating Cancer Together on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If you have been recently diagnosed with cancer and you are flooded with so many different emotions, anger, fear, frustration. It's understandable. I have a meditation guide for you. You can get your free meditation guide at ontheotherside.life backslash guided meditation. Again, that's ontheotherside.life backslash guided meditation. Thank you so much for joining us. That is it for this Wednesday. And until next time, let's keep navigating cancer together. Take care. Thanks for listening to this episode of Navigating Cancer Together. I hope you found it helpful. Please be sure to subscribe, share, and tell your friends and family about it. For notes from the show and previous episodes, visit ontheotherside.life and check out the podcast section. I would love it if you join me for the next episode. Talk to you soon.