Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Hello, you're listening to Navigating Cancer Together, the show that has something for everyone facing cancer. Why? Because everyone is different. We're different needs, beliefs, and perspectives. Thank you for joining us for this very special episode. I encourage you to open your minds and your hearts. Navigating Cancer Together is everywhere. Make sure to subscribe and follow the show to stay updated on our latest episodes. Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or your preferred podcast app or platform. With sadness, today I am sharing with you a very special rebroadcast of my conversation with Kelly Uren Moody. Kelly was one of my very early guests. I started navigating cancer together in August of 2021. My original episode with Kelly aired on September 22, 2021. That episode is called Living and Looking Beyond Six Months. Kelly was diagnosed with oral cancer in 2014. Even though she faced many physical challenges, she faced them head on. and enjoyed life to the fullest. Kelly and I met in 2020, and from the moment that we met, Kelly was willing to share her story with vulnerability and truth mixed with a strong desire to support and uplift others. Unfortunately, Kelly passed away on January 16th, 2026. I recently learned about Kelly's passing last week and was very saddened to hear of her passing. Kelly was truly a very special person, and I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to talk with her on numerous occasions. Kelly's birthday was actually April 4th. A few years ago, Kelly released her book, Expiration Date, straight from the terminal oral cancer ward. Production of the book was actually stopped, but Kelly's partner, Scott, recently. did all the things to get production rolling again. And production actually started on the book again on April 4th. So expiration date straight from the terminal oral cancer ward is available now on Amazon. And you can get a paperback copy, hard copy, or Kindle. In the show notes for this episode, I am going to share the link to the original episode of Navigating Cancer Together, where I talk with Kelly. Also, I'm going to share a link to a video during COVID. I was having monthly get togethers where cancer survivors, patients, caregivers, really anyone who wanted to be in community and wanted support could join together. Each month we would have a different topic or we would have a different speaker. And Kelly was so gracious to join us during one of those get togethers. And she shared her story. I will share a link to that episode in the show notes as well. In lieu of flowers, Kelly requested that donations be made to the Light of Life Rescue Mission. The Light of Life Rescue Mission transforms the lives of those experiencing homelessness through the love of Christ. Donations can be made on Kelly's behalf at lightoflife.org. I will also share links to Kelly's Facebook and Instagram pages. Unfortunately, at this time, Kelly's blog is no longer posted online, but I believe her partner Scott is working to have her blog up and live online again soon. My condolences to Kelly's family, friends, and loved ones. May Kelly rest in heaven. Without further ado. I will let you hear directly from Kelly so that you can see for yourself what a light Kelly was. I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know Kelly and have her on Navigating Cancer Together to share her story with others facing cancer head on. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Navigating Cancer Together. My name is Talaya Dindi, and today our special guest is Kelly Uren-Moody. Kelly was diagnosed with cancer, head and neck cancer, or in other words, oral cancer, six and a half years ago. After spending most of her career in finance, she began attending school in 2013 to obtain the certification in health coaching. Unfortunately, shortly after making this huge life change, she was faced with another huge life change, a cancer diagnosis. In 2016, she was told that the cancer was terminal. She is still here, thankfully. And she is having a lot of great, amazing things happen in her life. Today, Kelly shares her story with people all over the world to provide hope and help to those who are facing cancer. She is a very great example of how to face it head on. Welcome, Kelly. Thank you for joining us.

• Speaker #1

  Thanks, Salaya. It's very nice to be here and to see you again.

• Speaker #0

  It's good to see you. It's good to see you.

• Speaker #1

  Yep.

• Speaker #0

  So tell us, Ellie, a little bit about your story.

• Speaker #1

  As you mentioned, I had a couple of different careers and I decided I wanted to, now I'm also a type one diabetic. So I decided I wanted to get my health in a little bit of a better place. My blood sugars weren't quite as good as I would have liked them to be. I started on more of a health regimen and I found that I really enjoyed doing it. And I thought, now, I wonder if there would be a way that... I could help others that are trying to lose weight or feel better or especially diabetics, both type one and type two. And I found a school in New York and I took all my classes online and I got certified. And I was so excited. Now, health coaching isn't the easiest career to get into, but I found a weight loss company five minutes, 10 minutes from my home. And they weren't looking for someone initially, but then by a year later. I got a call from them and they asked if I would be interested in coming in and things worked out great. And I was there. Prior to that happening, I was diagnosed with the cancer. So that would have been in 2014. They hired me in 2015. And by that point, I had a couple of surgeries and everything seemed to be on the up look. And in 2015, unfortunately, the cancer made its return. And this time it settled into my jaw. So I needed to have a partial jaw replacement. They were so good to me at work though. And I just didn't realize what that would all entail. I was in the hospital for about eight weeks and I had a trach tube. Once I got out of the hospital, then I did radiation. I did about 30 rounds of radiation. And unfortunately, the following summer, the cancer made a return again. And this time it made it to two separate sets of lymph nodes. one of the based on my skull on the left side and some in my neck on the right side. And I was told that the cancer was terminal. So I was told to make my final plans, make any, if you want to go away, it's best to do it now. I had to go home and tell my family, and I didn't know how I was going to do that. But as you'll find out, things have a way of, I put it in God's hands and I can get you. up to date on what happened after that.

• Speaker #0

  Thank you for sharing that, Kelly. When you talked with your family and you told them what was going on, how were you able to do that? And then did it change the dynamic of your relationships?

• Speaker #1

  Oh, sure it did. I came home to tell my Scott first. I was with my cousin the day I got the news and I don't even remember that car ride home. It was just surreal to say the least. Scott was already well aware that I was having some new issues. I had to have more teeth pulled. My teeth were becoming loose at an alarming rate. And I knew that just at the time I was, I think, 48 years old. And I thought, there's something just not right about this. And so I had to have more teeth pulled. And I came home to tell Scott the news. Some people might think, why didn't he go with it? I didn't want him with me. I knew that he would break down emotionally. I had my cousin with me. She's a tough one. And I was happy. But as soon as I got home, he was there. And I could tell by the look on his face, he already knew. We both cried. And I said, now, how am I going to tell my mother? And thankfully, my brother and my sister, I told both of them. I have another sister as well, but I told my brother and one of my sisters, and they both... agreed to go with me. And I sat her down and I put it to her like this. I said, listen, all we have is one day. We don't have tomorrow. We don't have yesterday. Because tomorrow's not here yet. Yesterday's gone. And if I choose to live in next week or next year, I'm going to have myself dead and buried already. And I don't want to do that. It won't work. But I can do all these things. I can go and take some trips. I can walk down the street and smell some flowers. And we left it at that. We left it at that.

• Speaker #0

  That is a very hard thing. Not only is it hard for you as the person who has received the diagnosis to digest what you've heard and accept it, but it's also hard to tell your family and friends as well. for you. Why do you think that was something that was hard to do?

• Speaker #1

  I think for me, it was actually hard for me to process everything. When I first got cancer, I really felt like it was a blip on the radar. Not to discount anyone with cancer, but for me, it was like, okay, I have cancer. They did a couple surgeries. And I can't remember which surgery it was. Maybe the third one. Some cancer cells had been left. behind. After the surgery, Scott asked my doctor, is she in remission? And instead of saying yes, he gave us a thumbs up. And I'm not really sure why that was. Maybe because he didn't want to have to tell me, oh, yes, you're in remission, because he really didn't know. But when he did that, I thought, I'm good to go. I'm cancer free. Life goes on. I'll just be, I can say I had cancer, but I don't have it anymore. And that certainly wasn't the case.

• Speaker #0

  So is that when you realized that you were in for the long road? When did it occur to you that this was not going to be something that ended after treatment? When did you realize that it was going to be a long process?

• Speaker #1

  This might sound very naive, but some people may truly understand this. I had multiple surgeries. I had a partial jaw replacement, a trach tube for seven weeks. Then I went through radiation, but no one ever said, Kelly, you have four to six months left. No one ever said those words. But the day I went in to see my plastic surgeon and he was very late coming into the room to speak with my cousin and I. A physician's assistant came in and I said to her, can you please tell me where the doctor is? I'm getting very nervous. And she said, he's on his way. And she looked at my chart and I said, is there anything in there that would reveal that anything new is wrong? And she said, it does say squamous cell personoma. And I said, I know those words. And I cried. And when the doctor came in, he said, I apologize. I had to get a doctor out of surgery so that we could talk to you. And he said, it's not good. I said, in what way? Don't lie to me. Just say it. And he said, I'm going to put it to you like this. you have four to six months left unless you do chemo but that might only buy you another six or eight months so you need to decide he said but before you say no to the chemo maybe you could meet with the oncologist just because you never know what really hit home for me because doctors don't normally show their bedside manner and the way that he did but he put his arms around me and he said i'm so sorry and for the first time in my mind i said Oh, I'm going to die. This is going to, this is it. There's no, there's no, where do I go from here? I've had reprieve after reprieve. I've had how many of my nine lives that maybe the cat has, and I've blown through how many so far. I think I'm done. And so that's when it hit home for me.

• Speaker #0

  That has to be tough. And I've talked to many people that have been told that they have. four months, six months, a year, two years. And a lot of those people are still here. So it's hard to hear that. But the reality is, we really don't know how much time any of us have, whether you have a cancer diagnosis or not. And so you touched on how you felt when you received those words. Of course, understandably, you were upset and grieving, very understandable. How did your family respond when you share that with them?

• Speaker #1

  As I told you before, my mother had a really hard time with it. And I think she wanted to pretend like it wasn't happening. And she can tend to be that way. And I didn't want to continually bring it up with her. I thought, we don't need to talk about it. If she wants to talk about it, I'd be more than happy to. But I would call her and I would just tell her. I did end up, I can back up for a minute. I did end up seeing the oncologist and he convinced me to do some chemo. He said, listen to me. These are timeframes. They're not written in stone. And you never know what could happen. So I agreed to do the chemo and I think she was happy in that. And the other thing was her husband is a lovely man and he really cares about me. And they would come to treatments with me and they'd sit with me. I think it made her feel better just to see me. And they would come to visit me in the hospital when I had my trach tube. And we'd take walks down the hallway. I think just seeing me and realizing that. yes, I have this disease and maybe I'm not going to be here. But for today, I'm here and I might be sick from chemo and I might not be able to see you today because I can't get out. But I'm here and I'm doing the best I can. And I think for her, she carried that with her and it really helped. The rest of my family, we all handle things in our own way and I would get calls from them. Hey, how are you doing? I think it was hard for them to see me. And a lot of them chose not to. And I would get angry, but then I would think, how would I deal with it if one of them were going through it? It's hard to see somebody like that. And we only know what we know. We don't know any different. And I could be angry, but there's no place for that. Scott and I have our issues with it. He was my caretaker, and he dealt with a lot, getting me into nursing homes and making sure my bills were paid when I was in the hospital. I can't say enough about him. I always say he's my ride or die because he's been amazing. I don't know how he does it all, but he's had moments, which is why he sometimes will take a step back and go. I just, especially with the doctors, because he wants to yell at everybody because that's just his way of, but he'll say to me, I'm here for you. I'd do anything for you. And I know that's true. Things are good. He's been wonderful.

• Speaker #0

  So that's great. We all need that ride or die person in our life. So. that's amazing that you have that kind of support. And I also love how you told your mother that I'm doing the best that I can. I think it's so important to tell the people in our lives when they tend to get frustrated or they feel like they are helpless saying I'm doing the best that I can do. I think those words are so powerful and they're so raw and so real. And you're talking about what is happening in that moment. Right now, at this moment, I'm doing the best that I can. And I keep repeating this because I think it's important for the listeners out there to get comfortable telling their friends and loved ones and their employer or whoever it is that I am doing the best that I can. And it's OK. Thank you for sharing that.

• Speaker #1

  Sure.

• Speaker #0

  Kelly, do you want to touch on a couple of things that you mentioned earlier? And just give a little bit of advice for the audience and the listeners out there. A lot of people may not have the support that you have been getting from your family. Sometimes family members don't show up. Sometimes they stop calling. What are some things that you've seen, heard, and experienced or seen other people experience? And what advice do you have for those people that may not be getting the support? support they need.

• Speaker #1

  Well, I have told you before that I am in a couple of cancer groups on Facebook and there are days where I have to walk away because some of it's hard because, but I remind myself I've been through it. And if I can lend a hand in any way, there are people that have no one, they have no one to go to treatments with them. They have no one to drive them. Family just does not understand. And I know I've been through that. And sometimes I have to take a step. back from family because I'm still dealing with a lot of treatment side effects. And my family, I think when I finally went through an immunotherapy, and I think when I did, it did prolong my life. The chemo quit working. So I went on an immunotherapy. Now that put me in the hospital for about three months as well. But I think that a lot of times our families think You look better, you've gained weight. you're good to go. Why are you still so tired? Or why are you still not eating? Or why this or why that? And I remind people, our families don't see us every day. They don't see me when I get up in the morning. I say, today's not going to be, I have to really, really maybe take a nap this afternoon. I'm just, I don't have it today. Or I'm dealing with some issues from lymphedema, which you probably know what that is as well. The lymph fluids don't flow like they used to, especially if you've had surgery or you've had lymph nodes removed, which I've had all of that. The cancer went to my lymph nodes and I've had lots of swelling and it's affecting other parts of my body. Not everyone would look at me and go, you look like you don't feel well, but there are days where I can't move my head really that well. My arm doesn't work properly. The lymphedema or the scar tissue on my tongue. I now have scar tissue in my lungs. from radiation. And there's just a lot that goes on behind the scenes that people don't. So I tell people, that's what we're here for in the group. Or you may want to reach out to your health insurance company. There's a lot of good programs that could help. Or even the American Cancer Society. I'm sure there are a lot of programs that might even help you with rides to treatment or maybe a support person to go with you because you might think, but that's a stranger, but you'd be surprised. how you can strike up a conversation with people and you become lifelong friends. And I've met so many people that have really impacted my life that I consider my friends now because of that.

• Speaker #0

  And that's a great point because what I've learned in the people that I support is that they're more open and willing to talk to me, someone they don't know, more than they are their family. And that's for a number of reasons. And I'm finding that the main reason is they don't want to upset them. They don't want them to continue to worry. They just feel like there are certain things that they just can't share with them. So that's a great point, Kelly. Reach out and get the support that you need. It doesn't have to be something, you know. I love that. And then, too, you made another great point. A lot of things go on behind the scenes that people do not know about. I think that is so important to touch on that a little bit more, especially in the workplace when people go back to work or they've never left and they're still trying to work while they're getting treatment and things like that. And they may look fine on the outside, but that doesn't mean that everything is going well behind the scenes or on the inside. So that's another thing that the listeners. I really want them to take with them as well. Is that what you see is not always what you get?

• Speaker #1

  Correct. Yes.

• Speaker #0

  How are things in your life now? What have you been up to?

• Speaker #1

  I have been doing a lot of writing. I guess about a year and a half ago now, I started a website. And what I was going to do with that, I really wasn't sure yet, but I thought, I like to write. I wouldn't call myself a writer, but I started writing blog posts. I had a wonderful young lady named Kelly set up my website. She did an amazing job. And so I started writing a weekly blog post. Now, in the meanwhile, while I was going through the cancer treatments and doing chemo, I started keeping a journal. My Scott said to me one day, you ought to turn that into a book. I originally wrote it as an autobiography, but it... I really dealt with more than I wanted. I really wanted to pare it down to what my blog posts were about. My cancer, how I can help people, how I can use humor to help me get through a really bad day. Or maybe I can help somebody else who's just having a really bad day. And my thought, too, was when I was going through chemo, the last thing I wanted to do was read a book. because I was sick so much. I couldn't do anything really. So I thought, what could somebody read that maybe could be just a blog post for one day and carry a thought with them through that day? And I thought, you know what? I think I'm going to use my blog post as the book. So I'm writing some new ones, but that's what I've been working on. I'm working with an editor now. She's a wonderful... young lady named Michelle, and we've struck up a really good relationship with each other. And I was actually writing before you and I started talking today, which I'll get back to later. But I have days where I get a writer's block, but I had to remind myself why I'm doing this and to use my own voice, not to compare to anyone else. It's my story. It's based on my head and neck cancer, but it can be for anyone with cancer or their families. They're just trying to get through another day. That's what I've been working on full time.

• Speaker #0

  Great. That is wonderful. I can't wait to read it. I'm so excited. Your blog is really good as well. It's very therapeutic, as you mentioned, for anyone that has received a cancer diagnosis. And I also want to encourage family members and friends and loved ones of someone who's been diagnosed to check out Kelly's blog as well. And we'll get more information on that before we end this episode. I'd like to end by asking my guests two questions.

• Speaker #1

  Okay.

• Speaker #0

  You've touched on one of them, but the first one is, what is something that you've learned in life that you would like to share with the listeners?

• Speaker #1

  I talk about this a lot. There's two things, and you and I already discussed one of them, which is one day at a time. And I'm so grateful to have learned what that truly means. I don't have yesterday. I don't have tomorrow. All I have is today. I can plan for tomorrow. But as far as, oh, I know this is going to happen or that's going to, just let it flow. If it doesn't work out, I make a plan for every day. Okay, this is what I'm going to do. If I don't get everything done, that's okay. I always have tomorrow. But I know today, my feet are firmly planted on the ground. I don't plan on going anywhere. I'm going to be here. And tomorrow, who knows, as you said before. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Anything could happen. But the other thing I wanted to mention was my... very favorite word, which is gratitude. I'm one of those, and I'm sure a lot of us are like this, taking life for granted. What about me? And what about me? And why? After I got sick, yeah, I was angry. I was angry for quite a while. And I still have days where I think, what has happened in these almost seven years? It went by in like a blip. And now that I'm writing, I'm reliving a lot of it, which has been difficult. even though I'm doing it for a good reason. But I remind myself at the end of every day, I pray every night and I thank God for my day because no matter how it went, I always think what was one good thing that happened today? And I really like doing that because it reminds me, you know what? There are people out there that have no home, have no friends, have no family. And I have all of that. And am I grateful? I am grateful. And I always say to myself, God knew I could handle more than I thought I could. And we'll get through it together. And that might sound kind of cliche. A lot of people say that, but that's truly what having cancer has taught me.

• Speaker #0

  That's wonderful. And I truly believe as well, Kelly, that everything circles back around to gratitude, especially on those tough days, finding that one thing, one, two, however many. There's usually at least one thing to be grateful for each day. That is great advice, Kelly. Thank you for sharing that.

• Speaker #1

  Sure.

• Speaker #0

  We touched on the second question and it's what's next for you? Is there anything else you want to add to what's next besides your book?

• Speaker #1

  Actually, I don't want to jinx anything, but I'm just going to say it. I've been writing and I thought I don't want to quit writing. you book number two now. Book number one isn't quite complete yet, but we're working on it. So I've already got some titles floating around for book number two, because why not? I wrote for one publication. published it. I wrote one for Chicken Soup for the Soul, but from what they've told me, it may be a very lengthy process. So I sent the story to them about five months ago, but they say it could take up to two years. That's what I'm doing too. I'm writing some freelance stories as well. So I do that. I put my blog post on my website on hold because I'm doing so much writing for my book. I'll write for that now, but this would make a really good story for the book. I should probably throw it over that way. That's been put on hold, but I will get back to it probably to answer your question, book number two.

• Speaker #0

  That's great. That's exciting. And you have something else to look forward to, which is always important.

• Speaker #1

  Yes.

• Speaker #0

  And Kelly, I am so glad and so grateful that we have met. I'm so grateful that you're still here with us. And I want to thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your story and your message. If people want to learn more about you or if they have questions, where can they find you?

• Speaker #1

  I am on Twitter. I'm under Kelly Ren Moody. I am on Facebook. You can find me there. I'm also under Kelly Ren Moody. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm under Kelly Ren Moody on all of them. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Facebook. I'm on Twitter. I'm on Instagram as well. And if you choose LinkedIn would probably be a good place. They can ask me some questions or even on Facebook. I also have actually on Facebook, the best place for them to find me would be under Face It Head On. That's my business side of my Facebook account under Face It Head On.

• Speaker #0

  Wonderful.

• Speaker #1

  So feel free to get in touch. I'd be happy to chat with anyone.

• Speaker #0

  Okay, Kelly. And where can they find your blog?

• Speaker #1

  My blog is faceitheadon.com.

• Speaker #0

  Wonderful. You guys go check out Kelly's blog, faceitheadon.com. She has a lot of very helpful and informative blog posts there. Again, Kelly, thank you so much for joining us today.

• Speaker #1

  Thanks, Leia.

• Speaker #0

  You're welcome. It's been a pleasure. I want to give a shout out to the listeners. Thank you for joining us today. That's it for this Wednesday. Until next time. Let's keep navigating cancer together. Take care. Thanks.