When Valarie Traynham was first diagnosed, she did what a lot of us do. She said yes to the first treatment she was offered because she did not know she was allowed to ask for anything else. Then a second cancer arrived, triple-negative breast cancer, before she had caught her breath from multiple myeloma. And this time, she was ready.

Somewhere in that journey, Valarie learned the lesson that now anchors her work: the patients who get answers are the ones who ask. She started bringing a spiral notebook of questions to every appointment, and she still remembers the day a doctor sighed at the sight of it, and how that sigh told her she had finally become a patient he would take seriously. In this honest, warm conversation with host Talaya Dendy, Valarie talks about surviving two cancers, how genetic testing shaped her treatment decision, the questions every patient should ask but usually does not, and the reframe that carried her through: that cancer happened for her, not to her. It is a conversation about finding your voice, and refusing to let cancer have the final word.

✨ Episode Highlights

5:00 Facing breast cancer before she had recovered from multiple myeloma, and what she did differently the second time.

14:08 The notebook, and the line that changed her care: "I'm the patient, and you essentially work for me."

15:16 The one question Valarie wishes every patient knew to ask.

21:22 "This is just a chapter, not the full story," and why she says cancer happened for her, not to her.

36:46 Thriver, not survivor: why cancer does not define you.

Transcript: https://bit.ly/podscript189

Connect & Engage with Valarie

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valarietraynham

Instagram/Facebook: https://www.instagram.com/myelomavalarie

Call to Action

If this conversation spoke to you, subscribe and follow Navigating Cancer TOGETHER so you never miss an episode, and share it with someone who is facing cancer and needs to hear it. It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and this is the kind of honest conversation that helps people feel less alone. New episodes on Wednesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your preferred podcast app. https://bit.ly/NCTpodcast

Sponsor: This episode is brought to you by On the Other Side, a cancer doula and survivor strategist helping leaders redefine life after cancer. If you finished treatment and you are wondering what comes next, connect with an experienced cancer doula at ontheotherside.life.

Hosted, Produced, Written, and Edited by: Talaya Dendy

Video Editor: Shawn Smith

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared on this podcast is for general informational purposes only and SHOULD NOT be used as a substitute for sound professional medical advice, evaluation, or care from your physician or other qualified health care provider.

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.