Anger management - part 2 | Never say Never

Description

This is the part 2 about anger management. So if you haven’t watched the part 1 yet, I invite you to do so. 😉

In this episode, we see how the Five love languages (great book from Gary Chapman) affect how we perceive the “ideal” behavior. Hence, we may judge what is different from our way of showing love and respect.

Let me know your thoughts!

With Love and Gratitude,

Yuko

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Part 2 of anger management. I realized that part 1 was not complete, that's why I'm doing a part 2, simply because to me the anger that sometimes we feel can be also linked to our love language. I don't know if you read the book about the five love languages, I don't remember the name of the author, sorry about that. But if it comes back, I will let you know. Oh, yes. It's the five love languages I just checked online in life. Five love languages from Gary Chapman. And in this book, basically, what he says is that we all have a different love language. Like, for example, one person might have the words as a love language. One person might need to say, I love you. I care about you, thank you, right? So that's words. But another person, for example, might have the services as a love language. So it means that the person, instead of saying it verbally, this person will show you his or her love through acts of services. For example, this is typically my husband's love language. He will like to do something for me. take care of the house, being helpful, things like that, or cook, to show his love. And my love languages is more the words. So sometimes, of course, they are misunderstanding because I could think of, oh, why he never says I love you? And on the other hand, he can think, oh, why she's never helping? So it's, it is very important also to know that A lot of time when we feel angry and a lot of time it's with our closed ones, right? It is because we don't have the same love language. And here I just shared about two, but there are three more. One of them is gestures. So some people like to touch, hug you, right? Another love language is gifts, the giving gifts, right? My daughter, my oldest daughter, she's like that. She loves to give me gifts, buy me things, etc. Even if she doesn't have a lot of money, she always likes to make me happy by buying gifts. And then there is a fifth one, which is, let me, the quality time. Quality time. So someone else will like to spend time with you or, you know, call you. have a long phone conversation with you, just spend time with you. And so it is very important because a lot of time, for example, something that is normal to me will not be normal for other people. And I think this is very important to know because sometimes we have misunderstanding with people like, he shouldn't act this way, he shouldn't behave this That's not normal. If it was me, I would have done this or that. And I think in this moment, it is important to know that first, we are not all the same. Going back to the part one of this podcast. So we all see life through our own lenses. And secondly, we don't have the same way to show love, to show respect. Like I remember for me, because I've been living abroad for now more than about 10 years, I would say. I mean, I lived abroad before, but since 2015, I've moved abroad with my family. And I know that to me, it's not that important to make phone calls with my friends. I'm not really good at keeping in touch, actually. My husband would say I'm really good at it because compared to him I'm better but I know that compared to other people I'm not that good because I don't give phone calls, I don't need to text often but it doesn't mean I don't think of my friends and family members but I know that sometimes this behavior has caused some frustration in my friends, in my family because they're all It is not their way of functioning. Like one of my friends, she loves to call. She loves to spend hours on the phone. And that's something I don't like to do. So sometimes it's challenging. And I would add in parentheses that sometimes it also has something to do with generations too. Like millennials and Gen Z, we don't really like spending a lot of time on the phone usually or more text or sending messages, quick messages. And the Gen X and even the baby boomers, they like to spend more time on the phone. So there are also generational differences, of course, but not only. It can be also personality, love languages, different reasons. So each time we feel anger, it's also important to realize that, OK, perhaps the other person doesn't have the same love language. the same way, the same need. Like, for example, me personally, I don't need to call you every week to show you that I love you. But when I am with you, I am really with you. So that's like we all have different ways to express our love, to express our friendship. And so I thought that was an important piece also of the puzzle. And I wanted to share with you about this. So I highly recommend this book. Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think it can be really helpful in the relationships, friendships, working relationship, all the things. I see you soon in another podcast. Feel free to send me your requests. I'm always happy to share my take on those topics. it's only my opinion of course only my experience create your own experience bye