Speaker #0Hello, and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder. And today we're here with our lovely guest, me. I am the lovely guest. Surprise, there is no guest. It is just me today. I thought I would just come on here and yeah, just kind of update you guys where I've been the last month. I know that I kind of went MIA and I am sorry to leave you all hanging. And I know some people were like, Ava, what happened? Did you die? And I was like, no, I did not die. But here we are. I'm back. And today's episode, it's going to be a little bit of a I'm back, here we are, where have you been type of episode. And I'm also going to talk about based on where I have been and what I have been doing and what's been going on that kept me from doing the podcast. We're going to talk about something that I'm very passionate about, and that is big emotions. I don't know about you guys, but I have some big emotions a lot. Ask anyone who's close to me, my friends, anyone who's dated me, my family, I have big emotions. And that is just something that comes with loving me, I guess. loving Ava with big emotions. But this last month, when I've been going through what I've been going through, dealing with these big emotions was something that I really had to prioritize. And so I thought, maybe I would just share with you guys what dealing with big emotions looks like in my life, and how I work through those emotions, how I find comfort and peace and healing while dealing with those emotions. how I use those emotions to better my life and better myself as an individual and really just sit with them and what that looks like. Because I think that a lot of people have big emotions and that's not something that we should fear or be ashamed of. We should talk about those big emotions. So today on our episode with the one and only guest, Ava Heimbach, today we're going to talk about big emotions as well. as well as where I've been. So if you're curious about where I've been, keep listening. But before we begin, we are trying to plan the next giveaway. So stay tuned for that. We had our Hawaii House giveaway winner. I announced that last episode. So her and her husband have planned out the dates. They're going to be here next year. So hopefully they share a lot of photos because they're going have so much fun. I'm so excited for them. And but yeah, stay tuned for that next giveaway. And then also, of course, I say it before every single episode, and I'm going to say it again, but there is no right or wrong way to live your life. And that definition of a fulfilling life is unique to each and every one of you. And I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. I just want to give you ideas and knowledge and inspiration. and really just help you create a life that you think is beautiful. So let's begin. Welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being. pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. Once again, I'm Ava Heimbach, your host, and this is Stop Wasting Your Life. So before we jump into talking about big emotions and what those big emotions look like and how they present themselves and how I personally work through those big emotions in my life. I'm just going to give you a little update of where I've been the last month, why I haven't been recording. And so yeah, a little backstory. A couple months ago, there was a situation that happened. It's a really, really long story. Maybe in the future, we can kind of get into it. But I don't think now is the right time. So for now, we're just going to call it the situation, which sounds like kind of weird because you guys are like, what kind of situation? But that's a story for another day. as of right now, we'll call it the situation. But so yeah, a couple months ago, the situation occurred. And as a result, I was actually kind of grieving the loss of my last relationship, actually. And even though like this relationship ended months and months and months ago, because of this situation, all of those feelings came up again. And all that grief, like out of nowhere. I all of a sudden had to grieve. the loss of this relationship all over again. And so when my boyfriend and I broke up at the time, we left the relationship in sort of a gray area. It wasn't like, I would say, a cutoff breakup. It was more of like a, we are madly in love with each other. I mean, like I literally love this man with my whole heart. And I... was just really scared because I was young and I had literally met this person that I was like, but I was so scared because I felt so young and being so young and feeling like I had already met the person that I was like, I could spend the rest of my life with you really just scared me because I mean, I am young. And as a kid, I was always kind of told by My parents and anyone else in my family who did get married a little bit later in life, they always kind of pushed that like, you should wait until you're older to get married. You know, you don't really know if you're choosing the right person unless you've lived a lot of life with them. And you don't really know if the person you're with is going to be a good match if you don't know yourself and the human brain doesn't develop until you are 25. And so. all these things like I grew up hearing. And I kind of had convinced myself that because I wasn't 25, even though I had already found the person that I could literally see myself marrying, but I wasn't 25. And I felt like I was doing something wrong, because I needed to wait and really live like by myself and get that whole, like, I'm my own independent person. And needed to wait till I was older to fully pursue something super serious. And also on top of that, I was the only serious girlfriend that he had had. So there was a part of me that was also like, do you even know if I'm the one? Like, should we make sure that I am the one? And we, I mean, we met each other when we were 19. So like, we've known each other for almost four years. And I felt like we never really got the time to figure out who we wanted to be as individuals. Like we kind of just jumped into this like team, which there's nothing wrong with that at all. And I think that's kind of where I had convinced myself that something was wrong with that. But I felt like, oh, maybe we need to work on ourselves individually. And that was kind of my thought process behind this whole like quote unquote breakup. But anyway, it. put the relationship in sort of a gray area because we were pretty much like we love each other with our whole heart and we see each other potentially living the rest of our lives with each other but to be 100 sure that we are making the right decision let's spend some time apart spend some time with other people and grow as individuals before we can like actually move forward seriously and so that's kind of like what we agreed to do and That's what we did. So we broke up and left it in this like kind of gray area, which already was not a very good idea of leaving it off in this gray area. And we both like casually hung out with other people. And I don't, I don't know exactly what he was doing. But I know that I really had focused on becoming who I know I wanted to be and becoming the best version of myself. And really focusing on school and my career. And I want what I wanted that to look like and prioritizing my mental health and really becoming aware of my emotions and focus on my friendships and relationships with my family and my hobbies. And really just I like threw myself into becoming the best version of myself. And but that's kind of the backstory of how this like gray area. of the ending of our relationship looked again there was no like right or wrong yes or no like again it was kind of just a whole bunch of up in the air what if maybe who knows type of situation. And looking back, that was not a good idea. And I mean, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. So I think that we moved in that way for a specific reason. And I think that it has its positives and negatives. And again, like that's something we can definitely talk about later on in the future. If that's what you guys sound sounds interesting to you guys. But anyway, backstory of this like gray area of our breakup. And so anyway, even though my boyfriend and I broke up months and months and months and months ago, this situation that occurred really brought all of these emotions and grief right back up to the surface. I mean, all these emotions that I had dealt with when we broke up really just resurfaced and I did not handle it well. I mean, I did not handle it well at all. And so this last month or so since I haven't been recording has been full of me just trying to process and grieve and work through so many big and scary emotions that just were there all of a sudden. They weren't there and then the situation occurred and they were there and it was really hard on me. So For the sake of my own mental health, I decided to step away from the podcast for a bit and focus on healing and processing this situation and all of the emotions that came with it. And while it was hard to leave this podcast that I had worked so hard on and really like understand that, I really had to remind myself that it's okay for it to be paused, like my mental health. comes before that for sure. But now, even though a month, two months ago, I was sitting in a pretty low place mentally, I finally feel like I've pulled myself out of that spot and I'm doing a lot better mentally. So that's when I thought to myself, well, maybe let's do a podcast episode about all of these big, scary emotions that I had. to deal with and process and work through because we are all human. Surprise. I'm a human. You're a human. We all share this same human experience, whether that's the good, the bad, the ugly, or the absolute beautiful, joyful, gorgeous gift of being alive. And especially if you are a sensitive queen like me, you are going to go through periods of your life where you do deal with these big emotions and they're going to come in all different forms. And that's okay because big, scary emotions are a part of life and they deserve to be talked about and normalized. So I do feel like these big, scary emotions aren't something that's super talked about. I feel, especially me, like I feel pretty scared about talking about these big emotions that I have because we live in a world where people like to put on this persona of social media on social media that they kind of have it all together and have it figured out. And no one people don't really open up about what goes on behind closed doors. And I mean, yes, looking at social media, like I always have to remind myself that, oh, their life not might not seem as perfect and beautiful as it looks on social media. But obviously it's really hard to constantly remind myself that when everything I see on people's social media is perfect, beautiful life and everything good that comes with it. So I do feel like big, scary emotions aren't something that people talk about very often. And I mean, I even personally don't spend a lot of time like super openly talking about my mental health because number one, like I don't really like to feel weak or sensitive or different than my peers and I don't want my mental health to define me as a person I definitely am way more than my mental health but as time has come gone on and I've really learned to love and accept myself for all that I am mental health included I definitely have just decided that it is so okay to talk about these things and because I talk about them doesn't make me weak or sensitive or different. It's actually a very strong thing to do is talk about your mental health. It doesn't define you. You are so much more than your mental health. I'm so much more than my mental health. But it is a big part of my life. And that's okay. That's what comes with knowing Ava Claire Heimbach is you are going to know her mental health too. You're going to know her anxiety. You are going to know that she is so afraid of vomit that it's kind of crazy. And that's okay. Mental health is a big part of a lot of people's lives. And we need to talk about it. We need to normalize it. And just because my mental health journey might look a little different than yours, everyone has their own mental health journey, and it deserves to be talked about. So yes, this situation that occurred brought up a lot of big emotions that I knew how to deal with, and I had dealt with them before. But it had been a long time since I had dealt with so many big emotions all at once. So I kind of had to reteach myself how to move through these emotions and how to move through this situation in a healthy, healing way. And I just want to share a bit about my journey of moving through those emotions and some ways that helped me get from this super low place mentally to where I am now. And next week, we're going to do a part two on big emotions. We'll have another guest come and share their experience having big emotions. So this will only be my experience with big emotions. So stay tuned for next week. We'll hear from another person who also deals with big emotions. But here we are. Big emotions. How did I navigate and move through my big emotions? So the first thing that I did, and I think this is very important, is to Give those emotions a name. Do not suppress them. Speak them out. I love talking to people and I have found that I process so much better when I am talking to people, even if it's just like a friend sitting down and I'm just going to sit there and tell them every single thing that's going on in my head. Like that is what helps me process. Speaking it out. into existence, getting it out of my head, that really helps me process. So give those emotions a name, speak them out, tell yourself what you're going through, because that is what's called effect labeling, actually. And that's when you put your feelings into words. And that's the first step in actually learning how to regulate your emotions and figuring out how to work through those emotions. I mean, you can't figure out how you're going to work through this emotion if you don't even know what emotion you're working through. So when you see that emotion and you feel it, give it a name. When I name my emotion, I am recognizing it and I'm reducing its intensity in my body. I'm reducing its intensity in my brain. And that is my brain's way of clarifying exactly the emotion. And once I give it that name and clarify this emotion, that is when I can figure out how I'm going to regulate that specific emotion and what I'm going to do to move forward. What I know is best for me when I'm feeling anxious or what's best for me when I'm feeling sad is, well, first I need to figure out what I'm feeling. So yes, give those emotions a name. And just a little example of how I did that was after the incident occurred, I was driving with my mom for like a really long time. And I remember I just told her, I was like, Mom, I am really, really, really sad about this. And I then proceeded to just go on this really, really, really, really long tangent about, I mean, just pouring. everything out of my head. And I cried and I laughed and I sat there and I talked it through and I spoke it into existence. And I didn't just keep it cooped up in my head because I know that if I kept that cooped up in my head, it would just stir in there and it wouldn't have anywhere to go. And I know personally, that's not healthy for me. Those emotions need to go somewhere they need to get out of my head. And. That was just so healing for me to just sit back and have this sense of like, I'm sad and I am naming the facts that I am sad. And now I can figure out what I can do. to help pull me from this sadness. So give those emotions a name. It's okay. It's okay if you're sad. It's okay if you're anxious. Give them a name. Tell people. Get it out of your head. And that leads me into the next thing I did, which was getting out of my head and balancing my nervous system as well as my physical body. I mean, There are so many studies that just show how connected our mind and body are. And I knew that if I was not doing the best mentally and I wanted to do everything I could to help that mental state I was in, one way that I could help that mental state is taking care of my body and taking care of my nervous system. as best as I could, because that was something that I couldn't necessarily control all these thoughts spiraling in my head. I mean, I could try and control them. But if I tried controlling all of them, I would go crazy because I couldn't. But I could control what I was doing to take care of my body and my nervous system. And I knew that if my body felt healthy, and if my body and my nervous system felt safe, that it would also help my emotions feel safe. And so ways that I did that that I found really helpful were exercising. Exercising is a really good one, especially like if I was feeling those big emotions in a very angry or resentful or mad way, the way that I would deal with those big angry emotions is I would go for a run. And running really helped me release those angry. mad emotions in a healthy way. And that not only was good for my body physically to keep me healthy, but that was good for my nervous system and also for me emotionally. And another both like exercising and mindfulness act was hot yoga for me. I love hot yoga, sweating out my emotions. was so good for me. And also just the moving was also great for me. It was so good for my body. I always was so just wiggly, like I had so much. I was so flexible. I mean, okay, so flexible in quotes, because I'm not flexible at all, even with hot yoga. But overall, it made me feel so great. And it was kind of a time that I could really let my mind relax because I was focused on other things and focused on my breathing. And that leads me to another way that I balanced my nervous system and physical body. And that was really focusing on mindfulness and breathing. And this is something that I've, mindfulness is something I'm really trying to learn more about and work on. I've always found it something I kind of struggle with. And one of my best friends, Hannah, is so good at mindfulness. this and So often I come to her and I'm like, I don't even know where to begin. Like, I don't know where to begin. I don't know what to do. Like, help. And she's so good about trying to explain it to me. And yes, some of it makes sense, but I'm still really working on it. But one thing she told me that I really used and practiced throughout this healing process was being just really aware of my surroundings. So how that looked for me is... I would walk my dogs on my parents' land. They have a lot of land. And I would take them on a walk. I would leave my phone inside and I would just become so aware of my surroundings and whatever was going on outside of my body. So I would walk and I would tell myself, okay, but list everything that you can see. And I would sit there and I would list in detail things that I can see, like small things like, oh, I see that butterfly just landed. on that flower and oh I see the sunlight is coming through the trees and it's making these beautiful rays of light like I would just say everything that I could see and then I would move on and go to everything I can hear and detail what I hear the birds from the left side of my body and I hear me walking in the grass like everything I can hear and I would repeat that with touch and smell. And I guess I could do taste, but if I was tasting something during my walk, I don't know what I would be tasting. So I'm pretty sure I didn't do that. But really just becoming ultra aware of my surroundings. listening to them, speaking to them out loud, really reminding myself that I can get out of my head and this is what's happening around me. And I definitely found a lot of healing in that. And it almost felt like a quick little, okay, brain, like you can calm down for a little bit. And even if it didn't last long, it was really, really helpful for me along with, yeah, focusing on my breathing. Another thing I kind of struggle with because I can't focus on my breathing when I have so much going on in my head. I actually can't focus at all. So I'm still working on that one, focusing on my breathing. But I found a lot of healing in trying to focus on my breathing and reminding myself with every breath that I breathe in and every breath that I breathe out that I'm alive and I'm human. And what a privilege it is to wake up and be absolutely heartbroken because I got to wake up and be absolutely heartbroken. And that in itself is a gift. And really focusing on my breathing reminded me of this gift of life and being human and everything that goes into being human, which includes being sad. So mindfulness and focusing on breathing was a big way I balanced my nervous system. And the other one is consistent sleep. Obviously, some of these are kind of obvious, like duh. Consistent sleep is great for us, but I really learned so much about how sleep is so important to both our physical and especially our mental health. I mean, sleep is so important. And I actually got an aura ring. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of an aura ring, but I totally recommend one. They're so cool. It's literally a ring that goes, I put it on my finger And. It tells me everything about my body and like scary detail. But it's really good about telling you all about your sleep. And it's kind of cool because you wake up and it'll tell you like a sleep score based on how you slept. So my like average sleep score is like in the mid 80s. But when I got the ring, like it almost became like a game where I like would do everything I could to get my sleep score up. And I think the highest I got was like a 96, which was pretty crazy. But I'm still trying to beat my 96 score and I haven't yet. But it's going to happen one day. I don't even know if you can get to 100. But if you can, I'm going to get there one day. But sleep, sleep is so important. And I really just focused on figuring out how to get the best sleep I could. Another way that I really helped balance my nervous system and my physical body was eating healthy. So we all know that eating healthy is so good for you. And I mean, this is just science speaking. So I really prioritized eating healthy. So I made more of my meals, stopped going out to eat as often. I really prioritized whole healthy foods, like straight away from processed foods, all the good things that come with eating healthy. So I also did a lot of cooking, which actually was really good for me because I really enjoy cooking and I, it was good for me to have that time to process how I was feeling without all these overwhelming emotions that I would have if I was just sitting there and looking at a wall and thinking so I could think and process these emotions while also doing something. So it was like killing two birds with one stone because I was making yummy, healthy meals that were going to balance my nervous system and my physical body and my mental health. But I was also doing something that helped the processing of all these emotions. So eating healthy is definitely a big one. Another way that I navigated and moved through my big emotions is I gave myself the space and the time to process and heal what I was going through. So I... have a really bad habit sometimes of being so hard on myself and expecting my 23-year-old self to change the whole world in three weeks. And knowing that I was struggling and I needed to take this space. to process and heal was pretty hard for me because I didn't feel like I had the time to heal. And I didn't really feel like I was giving myself the space to process. And I really learned that it is so important to be patient with yourself. And I was constantly reminding myself that this is a season of my life where I am struggling and I need to understand that that's okay. And I need to be gentle on myself because As humans, you're going to go through periods and seasons of hurt, and you're going to need to heal and spend that time processing. So I had to give myself that space and time to process. And one of the ways I did that is I gave myself time to cry. Guys, if you know me, you know that I'm a crier. I love crying. It helps me so much. I genuinely think that. I get all these like emotions built up inside of me. And again, they get stuck in me and they get stuck in my head. And if I cry, sometimes like that's all I need to just release those emotions. So yes, give yourself the space and time to cry. I did so much crying. I've cried in the craziest places. I cried on the stairs of the Sistine Chapel while my poor sister went and got a margarita. I mean, guys, crying is so great. It's so good for you. And I gave myself the space and time to do that. And again, I expect so much of myself sometimes and really reminding myself like, it's okay, Ava, you can take this time for yourself and not feel bad about getting behind in school or not doing podcasting for a month or again, not changing the world. I kind of just had to accept the reality of the situation and be honest with myself about where I was mentally and tell myself that I was struggling and that's okay. I, I needed that space and I needed that time to really sit down with myself and decide what I needed to do to get to a better place mentally. And it, I had to find ways that helped me process in a healthy way. And I had to make time for those things. I mean, I'm a full-time student. I worked multiple jobs. I started this podcast. Like I had so many things going on and I felt like I don't have time to process and heal. And then I realized that I need to make time to process and heal. And I need to make time for the things that are going to help me process and heal. And so some of those things that I really just leaned into that did help me process in a healthy way. We're journaling. I've never been a big... a journaler. It was kind of something maybe I did in like elementary school where I'd write about my crush and what my sister did to me that was mean. But other than that, I never have really been a journaler. But through all this, I started journaling. I have this like little black book that I bought, like a tiny little notebook. And I used that as like my church notebook that I was using. But I started just writing down like my prayers and the things that were going on in my had and That was kind of my way of journaling, but also spending time with God because I could just write all my prayers in this little book. And it was, again, a way of getting all those emotions out of my head and onto paper, out of my head, out of my body. And so I did find a lot of healing in that process of journaling. And I definitely recommend feeling your way through journaling. Some people I know, again, it doesn't really do much for them. I wouldn't say I'm a big journaler, but it definitely did help in the moment. And again, I am on my like third little mini black book of prayers. So obviously it's helping me enough for me to keep doing it. So definitely try that. And then another way that I really learned to process all of this in a very healthy way was. talking to people again. I do so much talking. I am such a talking processor. I mean, the more that I talk about it, the more I'm going to process it. And I mean, thank goodness I had just the sweetest, most patient, supportive friends and family known to mankind. And if any of my friends and family are listening that I called and talked about the same thing over and over and over again, probably 500 times. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do not deserve you guys. And it means so much to me that you would sit there and be patient about me talking about. the same thing over and over and over again. So talking to people, if you don't want to sit and bug your family and friends with talking to them over and over and over again, find a counselor. I have two very amazing counselors. They're the sweetest. Pam and Jill, love them to death. And growing that relationship with them and talking to them and coming to them for support was such a good way for me to process. And then also for me, talking to God was a big, big, big, big part of my healing process. And again, like talking to God could look different for many people and that could be praying or journaling or going to church. But for me, talking to God really meant like physically talking to God, like almost in like, it sounds really weird, but in my room, I would put a chair in the corner and I'd step back and I'd be like, okay, God, you're sitting in this chair and I'm going to talk to you. And I would sit and I would talk and talk and talk and talk to God sitting in this chair in the corner of my room. But that brought me so much healing. And I just really felt like that was my way of leaning into him and spending time with him and really getting that healing that I needed from God and from his word. So that's another thing that really helped me process this is spending time with God and hearing what God had to say about the situation and really trusting that. Even if I don't understand why this is happening, God does. And he's doing it for a reason that I may know or I may not ever know. And having peace in the fact that his ways are so much higher than my ways brought me healing as time went on. I think that at first I was very upset with God about the way things were playing out. But as time has gone on and I've really been able to step back and look at the situation from a. an outside perspective, I can see wholeheartedly that it was happening for a reason. There is a reason it happened. And even though it was so painful in the moment, like God knew exactly what he was doing. So definitely just leaning into him was a big, I had to make that space and I had to make the time to do that. And I'm so glad I did because it helped so much. But the last thing that I really found helped me process all of this is making time for just doing the things that make my heart sing. I mean, when you're in such a place of pain, the things that you love to do don't sound fun anymore. And I was in that place. I was in a place where I was like, no, I don't wanna do that. I wanna sit in my bed and curl up and cry. And there were days where I sat in my bed and I curled up and cried and that's okay because that's what I needed at the time. But there were other days where I thought, okay. Even though I want to sit in my bed and curl up and cry, I'm going to go do something that I know is going to make my heart sing. And so some of those things included riding horses. I love riding horses. And shout out to my friend Maggie for getting a lot of texts that said, I'm sad, let's go ride horses. And we'd go ride horses. And I would sit and talk to her about it. And then we would just ride. And it would really help me. talk out those emotions, speak them into existence, and then do something I love, bring it all back to my body and out of my head. And another thing that I love, love, love, love, and helped me so much was pottery. I found a pottery studio in Lawrence where I was living at the time. And I would go there every single day. And it didn't even matter what I made. I made some really weird things. Ask my mom. She got so many FaceTime calls of me making just these strangest things. But it really helped me so much having something to create. I mean, I love being creative and I know that about myself. I know I love being creative. So I had something to create and I had something that I could do with my hands and I could use that sense of touch. And while I was doing it, I could think and I could process these emotions. But again, I wasn't just staring at a wall and processing these emotions. I was doing something else. So it was a good way of balancing. processing these emotions, but having something else to distract me from just sitting there and processing all those emotions. And on top of that, I made some really good friends at pottery who always made me smile. And when I'd come in, we would talk about something that was completely irrelevant to the situation that occurred, which was good for me. It was good to get my mind off of it. But pottery was such a big part of my healing process. And I'm so glad that I found that as a resource through all of this. And then another big one for me that really helps me process. was spending time in nature, making my space around nature. And I mean, I spent as much time in nature as I could. And even again, on those days where I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry, even if I curled up outside in the sunshine and cried, that to me, I know helped. Even if at the time, it didn't feel like it was helping. I now know that it was helping. And I spent a lot of time walking on my parents' land. They have a lot of land I'd go walk on. And I went to the dog park all the time with my dogs. I have my dog park friends. It was always fun to go spend time with them. And they would always get my mind off of everything that was going on and also got to spend time outside, which was nice. And then, of course, swimming. My parents have a pool. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm a little fishy slash mermaid. I love swimming. I was in that pool all the time. It's so healing for me. And so just spending time and giving myself the space to do those things that make my heart sing again, it's hard. It's so hard to do things when you don't feel like doing them. But in the end, like those little things over time making. the time for those really, really helped. And I am so glad that I did. I'm so glad that I made sure that I prioritized getting those things in my schedule. But yes, again, give yourself that space and time to process and heal. Don't be ashamed about it. Be patient with yourself. And it's okay to do what you need to do to get to this place of healing where you need to be. And then the last thing that really helped me navigate and move through these big emotions was understanding that emotions come, but emotions are also going to go. And I had to remind myself all the time. I mean, when you're in the midst of something and the water is all over your head and you literally feel like you're drowning, when someone says this will pass, you're like, please shut up. I am literally thinking this is not going to pass. This is horrible. And I was in that place where people were like, it takes time. And I was like, please shut up. No amount of time is going to make me feel better. And fun facts, time passed and I am feeling a lot better. So they were right. But I always had to remind myself that it was just a stage and it was going to pass. And even if it took a long time. Every single day was one step closer to a point in my life where I was going to be happy again. And I knew that happiness was going to come back. I knew that joy would return. And I had to remind myself of those things every single day. And again, it sounds so cliche and it is cliche, but I'm going to say it anyway. Emotions are kind of like waves. They rise and then they peak when they get to the top. and then slowly they fade away. So I knew that when my emotions are at the rise or at the peak of that awful, horrible, disgusting heartbreak, I knew that eventually they would fade. And they did. And as time goes on, they continue to fade. And they're going to shift. Those emotions are going to pass and they're probably going to return in new forms, but they're going to come and go. They're never just going to stay. where they are. And that was so encouraging for me when I was in the midst of this to just remind myself that they're gonna, it's gonna pass. And I needed to watch those emotions and not fight against them. I needed to accept that they were there and recognize them and let them come. But then also understand that I needed to let them pass. I needed to let those emotions go. And I I mean, every single day was this battle of, oh. there are the emotions. Here they come. Okay. I'm feeling anxious. Those are the emotions and then letting them pass. And I actually had a friend knowing a lot of surfers in my life. I had a friend who said that emotions are like waves. And I was like, yeah, I know they rise, they peak and they fade, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, no, emotions are waves and you can either surf or you can drown. And I was like, wait. that's so true. Like emotions are waves and we can ride those waves. We can surf on those waves. We can. understand that emotions are a part of life and we can accept them for what they are and we can notice them and we can recognize them and let them pass and we can just let ourselves be human in all of its forms and feeling those emotions or we can let those emotions overtake us and drown. And so yes, there were days where I was drowning with all those emotions, but I spent a lot of time surfing through those emotions and I was so proud of the way that I moved through all those big, scary emotions. And I rode that emotional wave and I'm still riding that emotional wave today. And I hope that when you are going through something that gives you all these big emotions, I hope that you can surf on that emotional wave also and understand that they're going to come and they're going to go and they're not going to last forever. And I promise you that if you're in a place that is so deep and you feel like you are absolutely drowning that. You're not going to be drowning forever. There'll be a day where you're going to be back on that wave and you are going to be surfing. And that to me brought me so much comfort because here I am and has it all passed? No, but I'm in such a better place and I'm happy again. And that joy returned and I can speak that it will get better. And again, those emotions are going to come, but they're also going to go. So that was just a little bit into how I really navigated and moved through these big emotions that came with this situation that had occurred. And again, I went from a place in my life where I was happy and I was content and I was really learning more about myself and who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to look like. And then in the blink of an eye, all of a sudden I had all of these. big emotions I needed to work through. And I was heartbroken and I was grieving and I was sad. And it just hit me like a train. I did not understand what to do. And these four points, again, really were the main ways that I did navigate through these big emotions. And so just to recap a little bit, how I navigated and moved through those emotions where I started out by giving those. emotions in name. I didn't suppress them. I named them. I spoke out loud and said, I am really sad. I put those feelings into words. And I recognized that my brain needed to clarify exactly the emotion that it was feeling, because then I could use that emotion that I knew was there and figure out the best way to regulate that specific emotion and work through it. And. I could only do that when I gave those emotions a name and I knew they were there and I accepted it. And I understood that it was going to take me to name it and recognize it and move through it myself. Then the second thing that I did was I really prioritized balancing my nervous system as well as my physical body. Again, the mind and the body are so connected. And. Again, this is just science speaking. They are connected. And I wanted to do everything that I could to help my mental state. And I knew that one of those was taking care of my body and my nervous system as best I could. So for me, that looked like exercising a lot, going to hot yoga, going for a run when I was feeling angry. and Focusing on mindfulness and breathing and doing things where I was aware of my surroundings and getting out of my head and into my body and into the space around me. I prioritized sleep. I got an aura ring and made it a game to get the best sleep score that I could. And I made sure I went to bed on time and I learned all about my sleep so that I could figure out the best way to. sleep that would help my physical and my mental health. I also prioritized eating healthy, which meant making more food instead of eating out as much, buying whole ingredients, getting rid of processed food, and taking that time to cook and be aware of what was going in my body, but then also using cooking as a way to process how I was feeling and working through these overwhelming emotions in a... healthy way. And then the third thing I did was I gave myself the space and time to process and heal. was patient with myself and reminded myself that this is just a season of my life that I'm struggling and I needed to be gentle on myself. And I did that by giving myself the space and time to cry, cried a lot in a lot of different places and that's okay. And I have a really bad habit of being hard on myself and I expected, I expect a lot from myself. So really just accepting that It's okay to not give my all 100% when I'm in this space of struggling. And there were things I needed to put on the side burner, like school and my podcast, and really give myself all of that time and energy to process and heal. And ways that I gave myself that space and time to heal were by doing things that I knew. would help me process in a healthy way. So for me, that was journaling or talking to my friends and my family and my counselors and spending time with God and in prayer and meditation. And also, even if it was hard, sometimes just doing the things that I know make my heart sing and giving myself the time to think about and process what was going on, but not sitting in those overwhelming emotions all the time and making the time for riding horses and going to pottery and being in nature and making sure that I was doing the things that I knew that I needed to do to process and heal. And then the fourth thing I did was just understood that emotions come and emotions go and it's a stage in your life, but it will pass. and you will be happy again. That joy will return. And I reminded myself of emotions being like a wave and those emotions would come in and they would be at their highest and I would be so sad and angry and then they would slowly fade. And I had to remind myself that emotions are gonna shift and pass and they're gonna return in the future. But in the end, I couldn't fight those emotions. I had to let them come. I had to recognize them. And then I had to let them pass. And that's what they did. They passed. And even though they still come all the time, when they come, I recognize them. I name them. And then when I do, I do what I need to do to help them to pass and process that in a healthy way. So that concludes all of the four main things that helped me navigate and move through my big emotions. And again, feelings are not something you should fear. Big emotions are normal and they're part of being human and big emotions are a big, big, big part of my life. And that's okay. I might experience my emotions a little bit differently than you and that that's okay. Those emotions carry a message. And instead of trying to suppress them or fight them, I really just learned how to show myself compassion, name those emotions, create space and time to process them. and learn to move through them in a healthy way and remind myself every day that big emotions and sadness and heartbreak and anxiety are all things that go into being a human. And there's beauty in that. I mean, what a privilege it is that I got to spend the last two months heartbroken. I know it sounds funny, but I'm alive and I'm a breathing human being. And one of the privileges of being alive is going through big and scary emotions. And I just had to focus on not letting those emotions control me, but letting them guide me in the journey of life and remind me the beauty that comes with feeling and healing and growing and just the power that that has. And I hope that Everybody here, especially the ones who experience big emotions like I do, can just understand that there is nothing wrong with you. And it's okay to do what you need to do to process those emotions. And don't let anyone ever tell you that because you have big emotions, you are sensitive or weak. understand that having big emotions is a really cool and powerful thing if you figure out how to work those into your life in a way that is going to benefit you. And I hope that you can see the beauty in that instead of being hard on yourself and show yourself compassion. That concludes the end of our episode. I really hope you guys enjoyed it and got sort of a little idea into what big emotions look like in my life. And again, next week, we're going to have another guest who will come on and share their experience with their big emotions and how they work through their big emotions and the advice that they have for you guys. So stay tuned. I really think you'll like that one. Another thing is to stay tuned for the next giveaway. We are going to figure that one out. We finished the Hawaii House giveaway and my friend Gentry won that. So I know her and her husband got those dates planned and on the calendar. So they're going to go next summer, which will be so fun to watch. So stay tuned for the next giveaway, which will be announced soon. Thank you again for listening and we will see you next week. Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop Wasting Your Life. We hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose, intention, and authenticity. If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to leave us a good review, give us a follow, and subscribe to our newsletter. For more information, go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week.
