“Glass Child, Big Dreams: Miami's Betty Pastelitos on Resilience and Self-Belief” | The Road Leads Back to Me

Description

In this episode of The Road Leads Back to Me, Coral sits down with Miami’s sweetheart, Betty Pastelitos, for an intimate and deeply honest conversation about identity, resilience, and self-permission.

Betty shares her journey as a first-generation American, a special education teacher, a content creator, and a woman who spent much of her life putting others first. From growing up as a “glass child,” to navigating cultural expectations, guilt, and being told her accent would hold her back, Betty opens up about the detours that shaped her—and the courage it took to finally choose herself.

Together, Coral and Betty explore inner teens, bathroom camping, creativity, belief, and what it means to stop shrinking and start honoring who you’ve always been.

This episode is a reminder that no matter how many U-turns, pauses, or detours you take, the road always leads back to you.A new episode drops every Wednesday—another step on the road back to yourself, another moment to slow down, reflect, and choose healing. The Road Leads Back to Me is a space for honest conversations, emotional growth, mental wellness, and the kind of guidance that helps you navigate every twist, turn, and roadblock life places in your path.

Follow the journey and stay connected on all platforms: @TheRoadLeadsBackToMe for podcast updates and @CoralExplainsItAll for daily reflections, big-sister advice, and storytelling that meets you right where you are.

The road is long, but you never have to walk it alone.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, and welcome to my podcast, The Road Leads Back to Me. I'm Coral Seco. Today's guest is a very special person and someone who I would say is Miami's sweetheart, Betty Pastelitos. The reason I invited her onto my podcast was because it's really important to share stories of resilience and being a first-generation American. And what we as those kids had to endure. So I hope you enjoy her story and can connect to some of the trials and detours that she had to go through in life but the road led her back to her and she's going to be sharing that with us today welcome Betty thank
Speaker #1
you I'm so happy to have you here so welcome to
Speaker #0
The Road Leads Back To Me and this podcast is it's interesting right because you and I know each other and we worked on your podcast and we've done we filmed together so definitely I know I know your story so I know how to what questions like but I want to make sure I always leave it to you to whatever you feel comfortable talking about I'm an open book so give you that just you know just know that even though I know like you could share whatever you want to share here what leads back to me is a metaphor my foundation in therapy is an So it's very metaphor based and talk about stories and stuff like that. We were just talking about neurodivergence. Yes. Makes sense that my neuro spicy, but would love something.
Speaker #1
Yes.
Speaker #0
But the road leads back to me as a metaphor that I asked my clients to kind of reflect on their journey of life. Because when you ask yourself, where has my road led me? Right. We've had U-turns. We've had dead ends. And when you think about it, you kind of. are like man that was i had to make a new turn or i had to make a stop there and kind of like see what that was like and explore there and the gps is telling you like get back on exactly it's like u-turn u-turn detour whatever you use right so that's what the road leads back to me is about is kind of like reflecting on your journey and i know you and i've talked about this before but everyone talks about their inner child but no one talks about their inner team oh god i say that i just want to say that my energy but think about it right like our inner team is who like i think about you and i know your story and it's like it's so cool to see how you have delved into your authenticity of who you are like miami is you thank you no all day and i respect that a lot you know because that is that's where you were born yeah grace right like you have a lot of pride in the past away in that and you have made it your brand yeah like miami is your brand because miami is benny like i think about it yes and you know and that's such a cute thing and i love even like the name so kind of getting to see and if you can feel open to sharing of what your journey was like like what do you feel how would you describe yourself all the things okay comfortable talking about okay oh well what'd you say what was on your inner team okay we'll talk we'll get to that soon though okay yeah
Speaker #1
Yeah, I've never, I've recently started talking to my inner teen a little bit more, but I haven't like really brought her in a lot. Yeah, so my journey, the quickest way to describe the road that led me to this moment right now is I was born and raised in Miami. I'm the youngest of six kids. My older brother has Down syndrome, so I was raised like with him. We were the two that were like raised together and the other ones were older. So having a sibling with disabilities has a lot to do with like me and who I am. So I'm such an empath. And then growing up, I always said I either wanted to have my own show, like the big comfy couch or I wanted to be a special education teacher. And then I got to see an advertisement. And so I quit. Like, I was like, this isn't for me. And the thing is that like the child development classes, education classes, i wouldn't study like i would show up to class i would listen to the lecture i would take the test and i'll get mad that i had a 98 because i'm like how did i get a 98 on this what was the question that i got wrong yeah and then for like the media classes i would study make powerpoints this notes that it was still hard to like do the test so i was like oh i guess i'm meant to be a teacher okay so with the teacher route i left and on top of that i would have people tell me like your miami accent's never gonna get you on tv you need to get rid of your miami accent you have to kiss a lot of but to get to where you want to be. And so I went the education route, which I love. I love being a teacher. I love special education. When social media started to become more and more like a thing, I was like, oh my God, I get to do that thing of entertain people. Like, boleh. - Yeah. - I've always been that person. So now that social media is a thing and now that we have access to like, you know, show the world our talents or whatever we want to show them. I'm able to do a little bit of both. I'm able to be a teacher. I'm able to be a content creator. You know, the whole topic of the niche thing and this and that. It took me a while to figure out like what do I want to what's the main thing I want to put out in the world. But little by little, I just found my like little corner of the Internet. Yeah. I've tried everything in media. It's hard. But I just, I really love connecting with people. I do get, you know, when I get recognized at stores or here they are restaurants. And one time somebody asked me like, do you like it? Do you like that? You get recognized so much. And I'm like, what I like is that when people tell me like, I follow you to that, it's always happy. Like it's always like,
Speaker #0
the happiest OC.
Speaker #1
It's always like, oh my God, like sometimes I'm in bed with my husband and we're just laughing at you. And like, I love that. giving that to somebody like i love being that for somebody so that's like the quick quick like quick and dumb map quest like one sheet here of like how i'm going to hear it yeah except we have a whole audience of listeners being like what's not quest yes that's
Speaker #0
what we have to pay for gps yes literally literally so i guess you know something that i want to bring up is we talked about your you we talked about a little bit about your the journey of the road and definitely it sounds like growing up with your brother was a big influence right so like even leading to special education became something very intuitive and a lot of your content now is even like sensory bins and yeah which i i i personally as the mother of a young child really appreciate that um i wanted to ask you because you mentioned someone telling you that your accent is gonna hinder you right on this journey we what I guess I wanted to know with regards on that is your authenticity is what makes you you how has that like I guess how did you navigate that like that kind of like stigma of
Speaker #1
okay wait my accent is going to nullify me from having an audience yeah so it was like around junior senior year when I had to like pick like do a report about what you want to be when you grow up or whatever and I was like I'm gonna do it about being a news reporter like I want to be on deco drive and it was always like I never wanted to be like a news reporter I wanted to like be on deco drive be on sesame street that's still my big dream like if I could be on sesame street like that is my so I was like and then I remember them telling me Like, you know, unless you neutralize your accent, you're never going to get on TV. Like having to know and I'm like what accent? You know, like whatever. And that's when I started to learn like I'm different. And then I went away for college and I was away from Miami for two years hated it worst experience of my life came right back home. Where were you in FSU? And it was like my first time. It was a huge culture shock. I was by myself. My parents didn't support me going so I went by myself. It was like this whole thing. When I got told like, you're gonna have to neutralize your accent or you can't be on TV. I had to pick between like, keep this huge part of me or follow a dream job.
Speaker #0
Yeah,
Speaker #1
you know, so like imagine somebody told you like, you can have your dream job, you have to cut your arm off. Like, you'd be like, is it worth it? So I was like, why would I want to change how I talk? Like, it was very like, I was like, I guess I can do this then. Um, Still did the media classes and everything. And, you know, I would get to see an advertisement. It would be hard to pass the PR test, this and that. And then I was like, wow, like they were right. Like, I can't do this. Like, this isn't for me type of thing. But then people like Jenny Lorenzo, like the Cuban Abuela started to pop off. Yeah. I was like, she had a nice day.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Like the Chongalicious girls.
Speaker #0
My gosh, Miami people say.
Speaker #1
Miami people say. Like when all those things started to pop up, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Like it's like, people there is an audience for this yeah you know so um yeah i would like tone and i would like dive in a little bit i would like stick my little toes in into like what this is or whatever and about two years ago i was like i love this and i'm going on in like i love
Speaker #0
the camera i love entertaining i love it good at it so what was your first video that was like wow i got followers from it and
Speaker #1
how was like that experience for you so before i what was the first person that i did i don't know i don't remember what was the first first like but i worked with um a local media company in like 2018 at cuba miami so i worked with local content creators like mario mill myself miami and we would make videos like that and then that kind of started like i started to gain traction but the one video that that like it went big was during coveted the video of like which is funny because covet kids are now going into kindergartener so into kindergarten so i did a video of like kobe kids going into kindergarten like the teacher calling their names and it was like they all had like their names were like um it's always like the names of it like global and that video like blew up and then i was like oh this is cool you know and then um but i never was consistent or committed because then like you know you do one video and it goes really well and then you do another one it doesn't go that well and you're like this isn't like i was just like up and down like i still didn't believe in myself like i was so like but i'm a teacher about this but what do i like to do don't want you know little by little just like i was like i like this so i just put out content little by little and i don't know where it's funny because what people know me for now like a lot of people that run into me or see me or whatever they're like you're that instagram teacher and i'm like wow now i'm doing both things that i love yeah i'm doing your values i'm doing education stuff and i am um being able to do like media and it's funny because i also like those videos and i'm like okay people see me as like the holy lord and this and that and whatever and i was like but i have a wealth of knowledge of child development, special education. And so but when I put out videos like five ways to help your child read or this and that, like those videos like flop, they're like, we don't want to hear this from you. Like, so I'm like, okay, like, I know what my audience wants. If you guys need information, I'm here.
Speaker #0
But you're still doing it, you know? Yeah. And there may be someone who can relate to that, you know, and see it and It's hard right like cuz you kind of like oh this one look to this. Yeah, whatever I mean I got that and I think that's like fair - But it's hard. It's hard when you're kind of like but I like this - yeah, do we know this?
Speaker #1
I really know this information, but I guess people can Google it or ask chachi PT But yeah, but they can't chat GPT a funny video so they can Yes,
Speaker #0
so you mentioned a little bit ago I feeling like you didn't believe in yourself at a point of your journey, especially with the one video did good, one video did okay. How have you managed that as a content creator?
Speaker #1
Yeah, so I think once you're starting your journey, you really depend on the numbers and you look at the numbers a lot. And that really gets to you. Until one day I was like, who cares? Who cares? And I think I saw content creator talk about this or whatever. She's like, every time I go on live, I put a little Post-it note covering how many people are watching. She's like, so I don't get concerns about that. And I truly don't. First of all, I'm very type B. So I'm not one to sit there, like, who watched my video? How many times did I do it? The only time I look at analytics is when brands ask me. Because I can't. If you do it like that, the whole way, loco. So I don't look at it like that. I do the only times that I get like is that when I do like branded content and then the video doesn't do as well I get scared that like they're gonna hate me and I'm like oh my god they're gonna hate me they paid me to do this and now it's not doing but they don't hate me because then they come back and they're like can we do another video um so relying on the numbers made me be like I'm not good enough sure that and then the comparison game like looking at other creators and being like she's so much prettier she's so much this like she was so much funnier like she got a brand contract with l'oreal and i've never had like when you get into that comparison yeah it's hard not to compare but once you just like i think like two three years ago i made my word of the year believe so i was like let's say like yes i have a word of the year every year i love that so i made it believe and i literally it's funny because i made it believe and then a couple days later i went to own boutique right here and they had uh like a bin of like on sale jewelry and one of it was a charm for your necklace and it said believe and I was like and you know we're very spiritual I know so I was like so that year and like just like that repetition I'm like just believe in yourself like believe and and
Speaker #0
I think that you know to your point right like our thoughts have so much power oh yeah and what we say and I know you and I have talked about this ad nauseum at times yeah like words are spells so like what we put out and what we say and how we refer about ourselves too like it's so important yeah right because that's that forms your core belief a lot of our core beliefs come from like our childhood right oh yeah I think for me like I think back to my teen years and I know that was something that that was a pit stop that was very interesting. And like I mentioned, we always talk about the inner child, no one talks about the inner child.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So if you're open...
Speaker #1
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about her.
Speaker #0
Yeah, let's talk about her. Tell me a synopsis about her. What was her worldview? How did she view life? What were her aspirations? What were her dreams?
Speaker #1
Okay. So her dreams were to be on Sesame Street and to have a show like... You can say that. Yeah, no but like Like, that's always... I've applied to Sesame Street jobs, like, four times already. Like, even in my 20s. Like, I... So her dreams was, like, you're going to do it. Like, you're going to teach kids, like, on TV. And, like, no hate to her, Miss Rachel. But in 2016, I was driving to Tampa and I had the idea. I was like, what if I created a YouTube channel? And I was, like, a pre-K teacher. And I would, like, talk to kids on the screen. And I'm, like, teaching so that when parents... And then out of nowhere, Miss Rachel popped up. And I was like... but whatever that's not my journey that was hers and I'm very proud of her but um that was always who I was as a teen like there was no YouTube when I was a teenager but that's always like one day I'm gonna be on TV one day I'm gonna do one of these shows like sometimes I would even read books in Spanish because I was like what if I had the opportunity to be an opportunity to be on a show like Sesame Street but in Spanish so I would read books in Spanish to like get used to like speaking and reading in Spanish because I'm like for that one day when I'm like so my teenager self was that like that was my hopes and dreams but then the other part of me was like I can't wait to get out of this house it was like that I cannot wait like I had countdowns to like when do I get out when good when do I get to leave when do I get to leave when do I get to leave because me and my dad had a very tumultuous relationship we still do growing up so it's always like the when can I Like, through the power of social media, I've learned two terms that I'm like, that was me. So one of them was glass childs. Yeah. So it's the sibling of a child with disabilities.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And 1,000%, there was days that my parents would miss my shows or, like, my award ceremony or this or that because they had to be there for my brother. Or, like, my accomplishments and all of that wasn't that big of a deal because, like, my brothers was more important.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And then... i had a lot of guilt so for example when i started hanging out at dolphin margaret and then i never got my license because then my brother wouldn't have been able to get his license and it still follows me like when i got married i remember him telling me something like i can't wait to get so then you feel this guilt of like i get to do everything when he doesn't he has to live with my parents like whatever whatever um so glass child is one huge part of my inner teenager sure And the other term that I just learned maybe like a month ago on TikTok is bathroom camping. Stop.
Speaker #0
I have a feeling, I think I can imagine what it is but...
Speaker #1
So growing up, I had a lot of APs because my thing was like, "I need to be the best student in high school because I need to get out of here. I need to go to the best college in the world." Yeah. So growing up, I did all my homework, everything in the bathroom because we lived in a very small apartment. So my brother was always in the living room watching TV. My mom was always in her room. My dad was always, no, my brother was always in his room. My dad was always in the living room. So I had nowhere to be. Like, I did not have space because I had to share a room with my brother. So my special space was the bathroom. And I literally would like do homework sitting on the toilet on the counter. Like that was my desk. And now my daughter has been asking and asking and asking for a desk. And there's times I want to be like, yeah. We haven't gotten her the desk because of like the space or whatever. Now we're like doing construction. I keep telling her like as soon as we put the whatever, as soon as we move things around, I'll get you your desk. But I just think and like that's one of those things that's like becoming a mom that you're like, I get to get her desk.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Teenager Betty did not have a desk. I had the toilet. I mean, granted, I could have done the work in the dining room. But if you're doing the work in the dining room, my dad has Spanish TV on 100 volume 100. My mom is screaming the smells. So it's like... My happy and safe place was the bathroom. And then I learned that I wasn't alone in that experience. So a lot of people would hide. That's just somewhere you go to hide. And that's where people are not going to bother you.
Speaker #0
It's funny that you're mentioning that. That's why I was like, I have a feeling. I know what she's saying. And yes. So I would listen to an entire CD.
Speaker #1
In the bathroom? Yeah.
Speaker #0
Like in my little boom box. Yeah.
Speaker #1
And it's funny because now I still do that. I'll go in the bathroom to send a text.
Speaker #0
now I'm hiding from my kids oh yeah bathroom it's like you were probably very overstimulated especially yeah with everything going on for sure yeah so teenager buddy
Speaker #1
did a lot of bathroom camping the other day i had we had one popsicle i'm obsessed with the magnum like the chocolate like shell ice creams i'm obsessed with those but they come in boxes of three so the other day there was one left and my daughters were asking if and i was like no no there isn't anymore whatever when they were distracted i grabbed it i ran to the bathroom and i hit and i'm eating the ice cream in the bathroom locked the door i never locked the door like yeah and one of them comes mommy and i'm like
Speaker #0
i'm doing kaka like you can come in here and i'm just there eating my ice cream but i'm like car cafe no but think about it it's like i'll never forget when i was pregnant with with tommy my ob out i was like talking about the second born and he's like i'll never forget oh my god right right so awesome he's like you're gonna remember this it was what is how do you say you like It's even escaping to the bathroom.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And just taking a little longer in the shower. Yeah. Or just making believe the shower's on.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Just to have, just to have a little bit of time.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And like, and in my head now, now being, I mean, you're a mom of three now, I'm a mom of two, like it's a brain break.
Speaker #1
It is.
Speaker #0
It's just, and it's a, respectfully, sorry Al, um, it is even a break from him.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like going there like, and I'm like, and it's funny because it's still comfortable because like, that's what i used to do as a teenager and now i do that now you know i didn't have my own room i didn't have my own space growing up so it was funny i was talking to my husband the other day i was like you know i've never had my own room because i shared my rooms with my brother then i lived in the dorms then i got into a relationship that i wasn't supposed to get into then i had my daughter so i've never had my own like ever ever i don't know what that is yeah even like on vacation
Speaker #0
um yeah when i went to a conference for work for my old job i had a hotel room but it's also here yeah when you are by yourself yeah so as you reflect teen years and think now like you know we're talking about all of this and in camping which now is a new term after research because identify with how people are also calling it closet camping some people in the context were like oh i was a closet camper yeah i was just escaping there and having your own little space so especially but and i appreciate your story so much because it really it really talks and and expresses your willingness to even in the circumstances and even like i'm gonna sit on the toilet and i'm gonna get my ass out of here like yeah and that's literally me right and and it speaks a lot to like art are like not only the human spirit but also like Latino spirit yeah especially I know that's something we've talked about before too like being a first-generation child yeah that is something that you and I've talked about a lot I know a lot of people can relate because we had responsibilities that our pick up this we would never do to our kids now like having to negotiate FPL bills yes PL is Florida power and light like our electricity like i'm like i'm seven and my mom says she can't afford this so and she doesn't speak english what do we do and and we had to do it because our parents you know they that's what they needed right yeah it takes a lot to like our heritage and and our spirit and your dream right yeah so what messages growing up outside of what you shared did you have like as a teenager that maybe impacted your core belief about yourself um
Speaker #1
About myself? Wow, that's a really good question. I feel like this is something I think about a lot and then I have to tell myself like, no, like that's not true anymore. Okay. A lot of the ones that come to mind right now are more like financial based. But about myself, what are things that they have said about me? One thing I, this is so silly and random, but one thing that happened a lot growing up is I've always been good with kids.
Speaker #0
Okay.
Speaker #1
So they're always like whatever so i think that's why to today's standard i became a very young mom because i had a kid at 23 and it was because it was like which to today's standard that's very young and because like right when i was about to finish college i was like i have to have the kid sure like i have to have that kid that i was supposed to have yeah um well i could tell you also one thing that really hurt me and like hit hard was one time when i was when i finished college i went to go see the lady who used to take care of me growing up she had like an at-home daycare and she would take care of me talk i went to kindergarten and then in the summers and i was always like in charge i was always like i would put the kids to do homework and it was like a bootleg like at home daycare and um one time i went to go see her and i was a teacher and i was still like figuring out like what i want to do do i want to like Become an administrator. Am I gonna try to be on the news? Like what am I gonna do and she asked me what I'm doing And I was like, no because I know my whatever she's like, I open sake power to you guys principal. Oh So like her telling me that and I was like, am I failing in life? Like what's going on? She thought I was gonna be a principal right now and I'm not. And this is somebody who raised me. So that was like one message that I got older that I was like, okay, like, yeah, I'm failing in life. And it's like this lady in Hialeah telling me this. Um, but I can't think of like right now on the spot. I bet tonight when I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm gonna be like, no one thing. Um, But you know, like thinking of things like you're too much or you're like I don't think I ever got any of that. I don't know if it was because my parents were too busy with my brother that I can tell you one thing that impacted me a lot was I remember one day my dad telling me that I had to become a teacher because I had to help kids like Gus type of thing and I always have that in the back of my mind when I would say things like oh but what if I want to be a news reporter? and he'd be like and he'd be like no like that's not what you're supposed to be type of thing so it's like everybody growing up with like had a reason for me to not be on tv yeah you know um one of my ex-boyfriends was like also very like no like you're not how are you gonna do that like you don't even speak spanish that well and i'm there like i used to read spanish books like to practice like so i feel like a lot of people would tell me the whole like you're not going to be on tv thing so
Speaker #0
it must feel really good to now
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah and be celebrated for them for my spine
Speaker #0
I watch Love Island and I'm like I know some other references on TV is that's like I need my reprieve. I talk about scary things all the time Yeah, let me let my brain run a little bit here but you know hearing what you're saying and and I have first off, I validate you so much and so proud of you and the person you've become today. Thank you. And really like overcoming so much because you see you on the internet and you would not know. Yeah, this entire road that led to becoming Betty Pateito was not paved very evenly.
Speaker #1
Yeah. You know,
Speaker #0
it was very tumultuous at times. Yeah. I know me it sounds like too.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah. I'm I did have a lot of friends at school and all that. But then it was also like, I never wanted friends to come to my house and they didn't because I'm not going to bring, no. And then it was like hard to go to other friends' houses because like nobody wanted to drive me there. The other day, my dad calls me. He's like, I have something for you. Come over. Like, and I happened to be near their house. So I went to visit my parents really quick. And my dad was like, tengo acobate. Like, come get it, whatever. And I was like, what in the world can my dad have for me? Like, what does my dad have for me? Okay. And when I got there, it was like a manila envelope full of my ballet pictures. And I was just looking at them and I'm like, this was the happiest... Like, the one thing I would look forward to so much was ballet, which he ended up making me quit. But I was looking at those pictures and I was like, bro, what I would give to be in this picture. And I remember, and I was looking at all the details and it was like the... like the professional shoots that they did i was looking at all the d and i can like i felt it like i remember the palito that they made me hold i remember we had to march on the tool like i remember everything from that picture and i was like sure eight i remember i remember that so hard and i remember that i was eight because one of the other girls in my ballet studio turned eight before me and i was always jealous that she turned eight before me so i know that that's when it was yeah because turning eight was like a big deal a thing for me that was like what does she get to be in and she's a month older than me by the way and i was like oh why did she get this so that's why i know that that's when i was eight um but then my dad made me quit right before they were gonna put me on point and i never got on point um
Speaker #0
but that was when i see those pictures of my ballet i'm like so i guess this is a good question to then ask now When you think of that picture, of eight-year-old Betty, full of happiness, joy and creativity, right? Just getting to have the space. Like I think of a little dancer and like the stage is yours. Yeah. Yeah. Like especially now, like where you are. If you had 30 seconds to be with that little Betty right now and you could talk to her, what would you say?
Speaker #1
Aww. I would tell her to...
Speaker #0
become the news reporter she wants to become. I would tell her to go to New York, like to not go to Tallahassee because that place sucks. I would tell her to just take the stupid flamenco classes that my dad was making me take because that's still dance. And I would tell her like, there isn't a limit to what you can have. Like there is not a limit to what you can have. And it's okay to let people down. Oof. Not everybody has dance syndrome.
Speaker #1
because i never wanted to let my brother down so i was like it was like i can't hurt this person you know like it's okay to let people down it's okay in your pursuit of your dreams and your aspirations yeah and i never yeah especially in the pursuit of my dreams and i'm like i
Speaker #0
have never until this year like literally this year is when i started to put myself first like literally this year that's like my big big thing um i'm trying to find my word of the year for next year about that means that like one word that means like put yourself first i would definitely tell that little girl like it's okay to hurt people like not everybody's gust and it's okay to hurt gust too like if i have to hurt my brother like just hurt him it's fine he'll be fine um
Speaker #1
so yeah that's like a big thing i would tell her i think often and you know i know when you talk about gus and with regard to like him it's and i know when you say hurt you mean like he doesn't get to have those opportunities. Right. And you do. Right. So.
Speaker #0
Like, it's okay to like.
Speaker #1
Like, to go, to go enjoy yourself at prom. Enjoy yourself in these things. Yes. And not feel like you're bad because you get to have that. Here,
Speaker #0
I'll give you one example. One time we went to Walgreens and there was a Ninja Turtle shampoo and a Barbie shampoo. And my mom was like, you guys get to pick one. And next time we come, you'll pick the other one. Of course, I was like, okay, Gus, you can get the Ninja Turtle shampoo because I didn't want to hurt him. We never got the shampoo. And I always think about it like. shampoo because what if we find it out but it was like i let him pick and that is such an analogy of how i've lived my whole life until this year until like right now okay so it was always like no it's okay you can do it like that's the kind of just being hurt and burned so much and just like i'm literally burnt out of my life like having three kids like i'm just burnt out of like why and that's what i meant when i said like not everybody in the world has ds what i meant was like it's okay to get the Barbie shampoo. Like, it's okay to not let the other person get, like, it's okay. Like, don't, you don't have to carry and feel that hurt forever. And I do, like, over and over and over and over again. And this is the year that I was like, that's it. You know, like, it's okay to, like, for example, with ballet, that eight-year-old Betty in ballet, I was a really good dancer. So I always was, like, in the front. And that made one of my friends upset. and i would i remember dancing in the front like for her she should be here too because she wanted it instead of like enjoying the limelight yeah that you said that i earned because i was talented enough you know and i remember like i clearly remember being at the dade county auditorium right there on flagler by 27 dancing in the front people applauding and whatever being like what is it that she didn't get it and that's what i mean when i say like it's okay to hurt people like prioritize yourself yeah
Speaker #1
you know there's a there's this quote that i really love and i've always thought about it like throughout my life and it's like don't compromise yourself you're all you've got yeah it's true yeah at the end of the day yeah you're you're in your bathroom camping yeah just trying overstimulated like i just need to get out of here yeah that was so important for you to do that yeah and even the detour that was tallahassee and fsu right it led you to um because you're a huge cane fan you're probably one of the biggest cane fans i know and you're so proud of that because miami is you yeah and it's just all worked out it all worked out so a question i always like to ask my clients is when you sit down and think about it because the podcast is called the road leads back to me and i never want anyone think it leads to me like i it's actually a metaphor metaphorical question to ask yourself how has the road led back to me
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
So I guess that's my question for you if you ask yourself that.
Speaker #0
I think it led back to me because I still got what I wanted in terms of... Okay. I still got what I wanted in terms of I got to... I get to entertain people. I get to be the teacher. And I get to work with kids with disabilities. So it led back. The road led back to me because through all these crazy things, I still got the things that I used to dream of when I was little. Yeah. I'm a mom, which is something I've always wanted. I am. a very good teacher yeah and i still get to do my whole data so i got all of it and um and literally never giving up on myself like even though i have always put other people before me like always i don't know what it's like to put myself first until this year until right now but even though I did all those things. I still. i'm so proud of myself and like what i have now and who i am now like wow imagine if i did prioritize myself like my god i and i have a quote saved on my phone from jenny in georgia that she said uh the mom said if i didn't go through everything i i went through i would be freaking president right now so imagine i would have prioritized myself like what
Speaker #1
i could have and i think that's the beautiful thing about this is that you can yeah move forward like you have agency over that like yeah
Speaker #0
you're still young you're yeah you will always have an audience yeah that's the great thing yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for being so vulnerable and open like thank you they're weird questions and i also i love them i love that i'm gonna be thinking like i want a clear answer of like what was i what are things i was told about myself yeah so i'm I'm gonna, I'll probably text you in a couple of days. Like, I got it.
Speaker #1
actually and i'm like okay we'll expand a little bit thank you thank you thank you coral

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Every Wednesday, Coral unpacks the cycles we find ourselves in—love, loss, trauma, boundaries, and rebirth—with empathy, clarity, and a touch of humor. Some episodes feature Coral solo, while others welcome guests ranging from actors and doctors to directors, creators, and thought leaders who share their own stories and lessons from the road.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Whether you’re in therapy, healing from your past, or simply learning to show up as the adult you needed as a child, this podcast is your reminder that every detour, heartbreak, and breakthrough has a purpose. Because no matter where life takes you—the road always leads back to you.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

Together, Coral and Betty explore inner teens, bathroom camping, creativity, belief, and what it means to stop shrinking and start honoring who you’ve always been.

The road is long, but you never have to walk it alone.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, and welcome to my podcast, The Road Leads Back to Me. I'm Coral Seco. Today's guest is a very special person and someone who I would say is Miami's sweetheart, Betty Pastelitos. The reason I invited her onto my podcast was because it's really important to share stories of resilience and being a first-generation American. And what we as those kids had to endure. So I hope you enjoy her story and can connect to some of the trials and detours that she had to go through in life but the road led her back to her and she's going to be sharing that with us today welcome Betty thank
Speaker #1
you I'm so happy to have you here so welcome to
Speaker #0
The Road Leads Back To Me and this podcast is it's interesting right because you and I know each other and we worked on your podcast and we've done we filmed together so definitely I know I know your story so I know how to what questions like but I want to make sure I always leave it to you to whatever you feel comfortable talking about I'm an open book so give you that just you know just know that even though I know like you could share whatever you want to share here what leads back to me is a metaphor my foundation in therapy is an So it's very metaphor based and talk about stories and stuff like that. We were just talking about neurodivergence. Yes. Makes sense that my neuro spicy, but would love something.
Speaker #1
Yes.
Speaker #0
But the road leads back to me as a metaphor that I asked my clients to kind of reflect on their journey of life. Because when you ask yourself, where has my road led me? Right. We've had U-turns. We've had dead ends. And when you think about it, you kind of. are like man that was i had to make a new turn or i had to make a stop there and kind of like see what that was like and explore there and the gps is telling you like get back on exactly it's like u-turn u-turn detour whatever you use right so that's what the road leads back to me is about is kind of like reflecting on your journey and i know you and i've talked about this before but everyone talks about their inner child but no one talks about their inner team oh god i say that i just want to say that my energy but think about it right like our inner team is who like i think about you and i know your story and it's like it's so cool to see how you have delved into your authenticity of who you are like miami is you thank you no all day and i respect that a lot you know because that is that's where you were born yeah grace right like you have a lot of pride in the past away in that and you have made it your brand yeah like miami is your brand because miami is benny like i think about it yes and you know and that's such a cute thing and i love even like the name so kind of getting to see and if you can feel open to sharing of what your journey was like like what do you feel how would you describe yourself all the things okay comfortable talking about okay oh well what'd you say what was on your inner team okay we'll talk we'll get to that soon though okay yeah
Speaker #1
Yeah, I've never, I've recently started talking to my inner teen a little bit more, but I haven't like really brought her in a lot. Yeah, so my journey, the quickest way to describe the road that led me to this moment right now is I was born and raised in Miami. I'm the youngest of six kids. My older brother has Down syndrome, so I was raised like with him. We were the two that were like raised together and the other ones were older. So having a sibling with disabilities has a lot to do with like me and who I am. So I'm such an empath. And then growing up, I always said I either wanted to have my own show, like the big comfy couch or I wanted to be a special education teacher. And then I got to see an advertisement. And so I quit. Like, I was like, this isn't for me. And the thing is that like the child development classes, education classes, i wouldn't study like i would show up to class i would listen to the lecture i would take the test and i'll get mad that i had a 98 because i'm like how did i get a 98 on this what was the question that i got wrong yeah and then for like the media classes i would study make powerpoints this notes that it was still hard to like do the test so i was like oh i guess i'm meant to be a teacher okay so with the teacher route i left and on top of that i would have people tell me like your miami accent's never gonna get you on tv you need to get rid of your miami accent you have to kiss a lot of but to get to where you want to be. And so I went the education route, which I love. I love being a teacher. I love special education. When social media started to become more and more like a thing, I was like, oh my God, I get to do that thing of entertain people. Like, boleh. - Yeah. - I've always been that person. So now that social media is a thing and now that we have access to like, you know, show the world our talents or whatever we want to show them. I'm able to do a little bit of both. I'm able to be a teacher. I'm able to be a content creator. You know, the whole topic of the niche thing and this and that. It took me a while to figure out like what do I want to what's the main thing I want to put out in the world. But little by little, I just found my like little corner of the Internet. Yeah. I've tried everything in media. It's hard. But I just, I really love connecting with people. I do get, you know, when I get recognized at stores or here they are restaurants. And one time somebody asked me like, do you like it? Do you like that? You get recognized so much. And I'm like, what I like is that when people tell me like, I follow you to that, it's always happy. Like it's always like,
Speaker #0
the happiest OC.
Speaker #1
It's always like, oh my God, like sometimes I'm in bed with my husband and we're just laughing at you. And like, I love that. giving that to somebody like i love being that for somebody so that's like the quick quick like quick and dumb map quest like one sheet here of like how i'm going to hear it yeah except we have a whole audience of listeners being like what's not quest yes that's
Speaker #0
what we have to pay for gps yes literally literally so i guess you know something that i want to bring up is we talked about your you we talked about a little bit about your the journey of the road and definitely it sounds like growing up with your brother was a big influence right so like even leading to special education became something very intuitive and a lot of your content now is even like sensory bins and yeah which i i i personally as the mother of a young child really appreciate that um i wanted to ask you because you mentioned someone telling you that your accent is gonna hinder you right on this journey we what I guess I wanted to know with regards on that is your authenticity is what makes you you how has that like I guess how did you navigate that like that kind of like stigma of
Speaker #1
okay wait my accent is going to nullify me from having an audience yeah so it was like around junior senior year when I had to like pick like do a report about what you want to be when you grow up or whatever and I was like I'm gonna do it about being a news reporter like I want to be on deco drive and it was always like I never wanted to be like a news reporter I wanted to like be on deco drive be on sesame street that's still my big dream like if I could be on sesame street like that is my so I was like and then I remember them telling me Like, you know, unless you neutralize your accent, you're never going to get on TV. Like having to know and I'm like what accent? You know, like whatever. And that's when I started to learn like I'm different. And then I went away for college and I was away from Miami for two years hated it worst experience of my life came right back home. Where were you in FSU? And it was like my first time. It was a huge culture shock. I was by myself. My parents didn't support me going so I went by myself. It was like this whole thing. When I got told like, you're gonna have to neutralize your accent or you can't be on TV. I had to pick between like, keep this huge part of me or follow a dream job.
Speaker #0
Yeah,
Speaker #1
you know, so like imagine somebody told you like, you can have your dream job, you have to cut your arm off. Like, you'd be like, is it worth it? So I was like, why would I want to change how I talk? Like, it was very like, I was like, I guess I can do this then. Um, Still did the media classes and everything. And, you know, I would get to see an advertisement. It would be hard to pass the PR test, this and that. And then I was like, wow, like they were right. Like, I can't do this. Like, this isn't for me type of thing. But then people like Jenny Lorenzo, like the Cuban Abuela started to pop off. Yeah. I was like, she had a nice day.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Like the Chongalicious girls.
Speaker #0
My gosh, Miami people say.
Speaker #1
Miami people say. Like when all those things started to pop up, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Like it's like, people there is an audience for this yeah you know so um yeah i would like tone and i would like dive in a little bit i would like stick my little toes in into like what this is or whatever and about two years ago i was like i love this and i'm going on in like i love
Speaker #0
the camera i love entertaining i love it good at it so what was your first video that was like wow i got followers from it and
Speaker #1
how was like that experience for you so before i what was the first person that i did i don't know i don't remember what was the first first like but i worked with um a local media company in like 2018 at cuba miami so i worked with local content creators like mario mill myself miami and we would make videos like that and then that kind of started like i started to gain traction but the one video that that like it went big was during coveted the video of like which is funny because covet kids are now going into kindergartener so into kindergarten so i did a video of like kobe kids going into kindergarten like the teacher calling their names and it was like they all had like their names were like um it's always like the names of it like global and that video like blew up and then i was like oh this is cool you know and then um but i never was consistent or committed because then like you know you do one video and it goes really well and then you do another one it doesn't go that well and you're like this isn't like i was just like up and down like i still didn't believe in myself like i was so like but i'm a teacher about this but what do i like to do don't want you know little by little just like i was like i like this so i just put out content little by little and i don't know where it's funny because what people know me for now like a lot of people that run into me or see me or whatever they're like you're that instagram teacher and i'm like wow now i'm doing both things that i love yeah i'm doing your values i'm doing education stuff and i am um being able to do like media and it's funny because i also like those videos and i'm like okay people see me as like the holy lord and this and that and whatever and i was like but i have a wealth of knowledge of child development, special education. And so but when I put out videos like five ways to help your child read or this and that, like those videos like flop, they're like, we don't want to hear this from you. Like, so I'm like, okay, like, I know what my audience wants. If you guys need information, I'm here.
Speaker #0
But you're still doing it, you know? Yeah. And there may be someone who can relate to that, you know, and see it and It's hard right like cuz you kind of like oh this one look to this. Yeah, whatever I mean I got that and I think that's like fair - But it's hard. It's hard when you're kind of like but I like this - yeah, do we know this?
Speaker #1
I really know this information, but I guess people can Google it or ask chachi PT But yeah, but they can't chat GPT a funny video so they can Yes,
Speaker #0
so you mentioned a little bit ago I feeling like you didn't believe in yourself at a point of your journey, especially with the one video did good, one video did okay. How have you managed that as a content creator?
Speaker #1
Yeah, so I think once you're starting your journey, you really depend on the numbers and you look at the numbers a lot. And that really gets to you. Until one day I was like, who cares? Who cares? And I think I saw content creator talk about this or whatever. She's like, every time I go on live, I put a little Post-it note covering how many people are watching. She's like, so I don't get concerns about that. And I truly don't. First of all, I'm very type B. So I'm not one to sit there, like, who watched my video? How many times did I do it? The only time I look at analytics is when brands ask me. Because I can't. If you do it like that, the whole way, loco. So I don't look at it like that. I do the only times that I get like is that when I do like branded content and then the video doesn't do as well I get scared that like they're gonna hate me and I'm like oh my god they're gonna hate me they paid me to do this and now it's not doing but they don't hate me because then they come back and they're like can we do another video um so relying on the numbers made me be like I'm not good enough sure that and then the comparison game like looking at other creators and being like she's so much prettier she's so much this like she was so much funnier like she got a brand contract with l'oreal and i've never had like when you get into that comparison yeah it's hard not to compare but once you just like i think like two three years ago i made my word of the year believe so i was like let's say like yes i have a word of the year every year i love that so i made it believe and i literally it's funny because i made it believe and then a couple days later i went to own boutique right here and they had uh like a bin of like on sale jewelry and one of it was a charm for your necklace and it said believe and I was like and you know we're very spiritual I know so I was like so that year and like just like that repetition I'm like just believe in yourself like believe and and
Speaker #0
I think that you know to your point right like our thoughts have so much power oh yeah and what we say and I know you and I have talked about this ad nauseum at times yeah like words are spells so like what we put out and what we say and how we refer about ourselves too like it's so important yeah right because that's that forms your core belief a lot of our core beliefs come from like our childhood right oh yeah I think for me like I think back to my teen years and I know that was something that that was a pit stop that was very interesting. And like I mentioned, we always talk about the inner child, no one talks about the inner child.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So if you're open...
Speaker #1
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about her.
Speaker #0
Yeah, let's talk about her. Tell me a synopsis about her. What was her worldview? How did she view life? What were her aspirations? What were her dreams?
Speaker #1
Okay. So her dreams were to be on Sesame Street and to have a show like... You can say that. Yeah, no but like Like, that's always... I've applied to Sesame Street jobs, like, four times already. Like, even in my 20s. Like, I... So her dreams was, like, you're going to do it. Like, you're going to teach kids, like, on TV. And, like, no hate to her, Miss Rachel. But in 2016, I was driving to Tampa and I had the idea. I was like, what if I created a YouTube channel? And I was, like, a pre-K teacher. And I would, like, talk to kids on the screen. And I'm, like, teaching so that when parents... And then out of nowhere, Miss Rachel popped up. And I was like... but whatever that's not my journey that was hers and I'm very proud of her but um that was always who I was as a teen like there was no YouTube when I was a teenager but that's always like one day I'm gonna be on TV one day I'm gonna do one of these shows like sometimes I would even read books in Spanish because I was like what if I had the opportunity to be an opportunity to be on a show like Sesame Street but in Spanish so I would read books in Spanish to like get used to like speaking and reading in Spanish because I'm like for that one day when I'm like so my teenager self was that like that was my hopes and dreams but then the other part of me was like I can't wait to get out of this house it was like that I cannot wait like I had countdowns to like when do I get out when good when do I get to leave when do I get to leave when do I get to leave because me and my dad had a very tumultuous relationship we still do growing up so it's always like the when can I Like, through the power of social media, I've learned two terms that I'm like, that was me. So one of them was glass childs. Yeah. So it's the sibling of a child with disabilities.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And 1,000%, there was days that my parents would miss my shows or, like, my award ceremony or this or that because they had to be there for my brother. Or, like, my accomplishments and all of that wasn't that big of a deal because, like, my brothers was more important.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And then... i had a lot of guilt so for example when i started hanging out at dolphin margaret and then i never got my license because then my brother wouldn't have been able to get his license and it still follows me like when i got married i remember him telling me something like i can't wait to get so then you feel this guilt of like i get to do everything when he doesn't he has to live with my parents like whatever whatever um so glass child is one huge part of my inner teenager sure And the other term that I just learned maybe like a month ago on TikTok is bathroom camping. Stop.
Speaker #0
I have a feeling, I think I can imagine what it is but...
Speaker #1
So growing up, I had a lot of APs because my thing was like, "I need to be the best student in high school because I need to get out of here. I need to go to the best college in the world." Yeah. So growing up, I did all my homework, everything in the bathroom because we lived in a very small apartment. So my brother was always in the living room watching TV. My mom was always in her room. My dad was always, no, my brother was always in his room. My dad was always in the living room. So I had nowhere to be. Like, I did not have space because I had to share a room with my brother. So my special space was the bathroom. And I literally would like do homework sitting on the toilet on the counter. Like that was my desk. And now my daughter has been asking and asking and asking for a desk. And there's times I want to be like, yeah. We haven't gotten her the desk because of like the space or whatever. Now we're like doing construction. I keep telling her like as soon as we put the whatever, as soon as we move things around, I'll get you your desk. But I just think and like that's one of those things that's like becoming a mom that you're like, I get to get her desk.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Teenager Betty did not have a desk. I had the toilet. I mean, granted, I could have done the work in the dining room. But if you're doing the work in the dining room, my dad has Spanish TV on 100 volume 100. My mom is screaming the smells. So it's like... My happy and safe place was the bathroom. And then I learned that I wasn't alone in that experience. So a lot of people would hide. That's just somewhere you go to hide. And that's where people are not going to bother you.
Speaker #0
It's funny that you're mentioning that. That's why I was like, I have a feeling. I know what she's saying. And yes. So I would listen to an entire CD.
Speaker #1
In the bathroom? Yeah.
Speaker #0
Like in my little boom box. Yeah.
Speaker #1
And it's funny because now I still do that. I'll go in the bathroom to send a text.
Speaker #0
now I'm hiding from my kids oh yeah bathroom it's like you were probably very overstimulated especially yeah with everything going on for sure yeah so teenager buddy
Speaker #1
did a lot of bathroom camping the other day i had we had one popsicle i'm obsessed with the magnum like the chocolate like shell ice creams i'm obsessed with those but they come in boxes of three so the other day there was one left and my daughters were asking if and i was like no no there isn't anymore whatever when they were distracted i grabbed it i ran to the bathroom and i hit and i'm eating the ice cream in the bathroom locked the door i never locked the door like yeah and one of them comes mommy and i'm like
Speaker #0
i'm doing kaka like you can come in here and i'm just there eating my ice cream but i'm like car cafe no but think about it it's like i'll never forget when i was pregnant with with tommy my ob out i was like talking about the second born and he's like i'll never forget oh my god right right so awesome he's like you're gonna remember this it was what is how do you say you like It's even escaping to the bathroom.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And just taking a little longer in the shower. Yeah. Or just making believe the shower's on.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Just to have, just to have a little bit of time.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And like, and in my head now, now being, I mean, you're a mom of three now, I'm a mom of two, like it's a brain break.
Speaker #1
It is.
Speaker #0
It's just, and it's a, respectfully, sorry Al, um, it is even a break from him.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like going there like, and I'm like, and it's funny because it's still comfortable because like, that's what i used to do as a teenager and now i do that now you know i didn't have my own room i didn't have my own space growing up so it was funny i was talking to my husband the other day i was like you know i've never had my own room because i shared my rooms with my brother then i lived in the dorms then i got into a relationship that i wasn't supposed to get into then i had my daughter so i've never had my own like ever ever i don't know what that is yeah even like on vacation
Speaker #0
um yeah when i went to a conference for work for my old job i had a hotel room but it's also here yeah when you are by yourself yeah so as you reflect teen years and think now like you know we're talking about all of this and in camping which now is a new term after research because identify with how people are also calling it closet camping some people in the context were like oh i was a closet camper yeah i was just escaping there and having your own little space so especially but and i appreciate your story so much because it really it really talks and and expresses your willingness to even in the circumstances and even like i'm gonna sit on the toilet and i'm gonna get my ass out of here like yeah and that's literally me right and and it speaks a lot to like art are like not only the human spirit but also like Latino spirit yeah especially I know that's something we've talked about before too like being a first-generation child yeah that is something that you and I've talked about a lot I know a lot of people can relate because we had responsibilities that our pick up this we would never do to our kids now like having to negotiate FPL bills yes PL is Florida power and light like our electricity like i'm like i'm seven and my mom says she can't afford this so and she doesn't speak english what do we do and and we had to do it because our parents you know they that's what they needed right yeah it takes a lot to like our heritage and and our spirit and your dream right yeah so what messages growing up outside of what you shared did you have like as a teenager that maybe impacted your core belief about yourself um
Speaker #1
About myself? Wow, that's a really good question. I feel like this is something I think about a lot and then I have to tell myself like, no, like that's not true anymore. Okay. A lot of the ones that come to mind right now are more like financial based. But about myself, what are things that they have said about me? One thing I, this is so silly and random, but one thing that happened a lot growing up is I've always been good with kids.
Speaker #0
Okay.
Speaker #1
So they're always like whatever so i think that's why to today's standard i became a very young mom because i had a kid at 23 and it was because it was like which to today's standard that's very young and because like right when i was about to finish college i was like i have to have the kid sure like i have to have that kid that i was supposed to have yeah um well i could tell you also one thing that really hurt me and like hit hard was one time when i was when i finished college i went to go see the lady who used to take care of me growing up she had like an at-home daycare and she would take care of me talk i went to kindergarten and then in the summers and i was always like in charge i was always like i would put the kids to do homework and it was like a bootleg like at home daycare and um one time i went to go see her and i was a teacher and i was still like figuring out like what i want to do do i want to like Become an administrator. Am I gonna try to be on the news? Like what am I gonna do and she asked me what I'm doing And I was like, no because I know my whatever she's like, I open sake power to you guys principal. Oh So like her telling me that and I was like, am I failing in life? Like what's going on? She thought I was gonna be a principal right now and I'm not. And this is somebody who raised me. So that was like one message that I got older that I was like, okay, like, yeah, I'm failing in life. And it's like this lady in Hialeah telling me this. Um, but I can't think of like right now on the spot. I bet tonight when I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm gonna be like, no one thing. Um, But you know, like thinking of things like you're too much or you're like I don't think I ever got any of that. I don't know if it was because my parents were too busy with my brother that I can tell you one thing that impacted me a lot was I remember one day my dad telling me that I had to become a teacher because I had to help kids like Gus type of thing and I always have that in the back of my mind when I would say things like oh but what if I want to be a news reporter? and he'd be like and he'd be like no like that's not what you're supposed to be type of thing so it's like everybody growing up with like had a reason for me to not be on tv yeah you know um one of my ex-boyfriends was like also very like no like you're not how are you gonna do that like you don't even speak spanish that well and i'm there like i used to read spanish books like to practice like so i feel like a lot of people would tell me the whole like you're not going to be on tv thing so
Speaker #0
it must feel really good to now
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah and be celebrated for them for my spine
Speaker #0
I watch Love Island and I'm like I know some other references on TV is that's like I need my reprieve. I talk about scary things all the time Yeah, let me let my brain run a little bit here but you know hearing what you're saying and and I have first off, I validate you so much and so proud of you and the person you've become today. Thank you. And really like overcoming so much because you see you on the internet and you would not know. Yeah, this entire road that led to becoming Betty Pateito was not paved very evenly.
Speaker #1
Yeah. You know,
Speaker #0
it was very tumultuous at times. Yeah. I know me it sounds like too.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah. I'm I did have a lot of friends at school and all that. But then it was also like, I never wanted friends to come to my house and they didn't because I'm not going to bring, no. And then it was like hard to go to other friends' houses because like nobody wanted to drive me there. The other day, my dad calls me. He's like, I have something for you. Come over. Like, and I happened to be near their house. So I went to visit my parents really quick. And my dad was like, tengo acobate. Like, come get it, whatever. And I was like, what in the world can my dad have for me? Like, what does my dad have for me? Okay. And when I got there, it was like a manila envelope full of my ballet pictures. And I was just looking at them and I'm like, this was the happiest... Like, the one thing I would look forward to so much was ballet, which he ended up making me quit. But I was looking at those pictures and I was like, bro, what I would give to be in this picture. And I remember, and I was looking at all the details and it was like the... like the professional shoots that they did i was looking at all the d and i can like i felt it like i remember the palito that they made me hold i remember we had to march on the tool like i remember everything from that picture and i was like sure eight i remember i remember that so hard and i remember that i was eight because one of the other girls in my ballet studio turned eight before me and i was always jealous that she turned eight before me so i know that that's when it was yeah because turning eight was like a big deal a thing for me that was like what does she get to be in and she's a month older than me by the way and i was like oh why did she get this so that's why i know that that's when i was eight um but then my dad made me quit right before they were gonna put me on point and i never got on point um
Speaker #0
but that was when i see those pictures of my ballet i'm like so i guess this is a good question to then ask now When you think of that picture, of eight-year-old Betty, full of happiness, joy and creativity, right? Just getting to have the space. Like I think of a little dancer and like the stage is yours. Yeah. Yeah. Like especially now, like where you are. If you had 30 seconds to be with that little Betty right now and you could talk to her, what would you say?
Speaker #1
Aww. I would tell her to...
Speaker #0
become the news reporter she wants to become. I would tell her to go to New York, like to not go to Tallahassee because that place sucks. I would tell her to just take the stupid flamenco classes that my dad was making me take because that's still dance. And I would tell her like, there isn't a limit to what you can have. Like there is not a limit to what you can have. And it's okay to let people down. Oof. Not everybody has dance syndrome.
Speaker #1
because i never wanted to let my brother down so i was like it was like i can't hurt this person you know like it's okay to let people down it's okay in your pursuit of your dreams and your aspirations yeah and i never yeah especially in the pursuit of my dreams and i'm like i
Speaker #0
have never until this year like literally this year is when i started to put myself first like literally this year that's like my big big thing um i'm trying to find my word of the year for next year about that means that like one word that means like put yourself first i would definitely tell that little girl like it's okay to hurt people like not everybody's gust and it's okay to hurt gust too like if i have to hurt my brother like just hurt him it's fine he'll be fine um
Speaker #1
so yeah that's like a big thing i would tell her i think often and you know i know when you talk about gus and with regard to like him it's and i know when you say hurt you mean like he doesn't get to have those opportunities. Right. And you do. Right. So.
Speaker #0
Like, it's okay to like.
Speaker #1
Like, to go, to go enjoy yourself at prom. Enjoy yourself in these things. Yes. And not feel like you're bad because you get to have that. Here,
Speaker #0
I'll give you one example. One time we went to Walgreens and there was a Ninja Turtle shampoo and a Barbie shampoo. And my mom was like, you guys get to pick one. And next time we come, you'll pick the other one. Of course, I was like, okay, Gus, you can get the Ninja Turtle shampoo because I didn't want to hurt him. We never got the shampoo. And I always think about it like. shampoo because what if we find it out but it was like i let him pick and that is such an analogy of how i've lived my whole life until this year until like right now okay so it was always like no it's okay you can do it like that's the kind of just being hurt and burned so much and just like i'm literally burnt out of my life like having three kids like i'm just burnt out of like why and that's what i meant when i said like not everybody in the world has ds what i meant was like it's okay to get the Barbie shampoo. Like, it's okay to not let the other person get, like, it's okay. Like, don't, you don't have to carry and feel that hurt forever. And I do, like, over and over and over and over again. And this is the year that I was like, that's it. You know, like, it's okay to, like, for example, with ballet, that eight-year-old Betty in ballet, I was a really good dancer. So I always was, like, in the front. And that made one of my friends upset. and i would i remember dancing in the front like for her she should be here too because she wanted it instead of like enjoying the limelight yeah that you said that i earned because i was talented enough you know and i remember like i clearly remember being at the dade county auditorium right there on flagler by 27 dancing in the front people applauding and whatever being like what is it that she didn't get it and that's what i mean when i say like it's okay to hurt people like prioritize yourself yeah
Speaker #1
you know there's a there's this quote that i really love and i've always thought about it like throughout my life and it's like don't compromise yourself you're all you've got yeah it's true yeah at the end of the day yeah you're you're in your bathroom camping yeah just trying overstimulated like i just need to get out of here yeah that was so important for you to do that yeah and even the detour that was tallahassee and fsu right it led you to um because you're a huge cane fan you're probably one of the biggest cane fans i know and you're so proud of that because miami is you yeah and it's just all worked out it all worked out so a question i always like to ask my clients is when you sit down and think about it because the podcast is called the road leads back to me and i never want anyone think it leads to me like i it's actually a metaphor metaphorical question to ask yourself how has the road led back to me
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
So I guess that's my question for you if you ask yourself that.
Speaker #0
I think it led back to me because I still got what I wanted in terms of... Okay. I still got what I wanted in terms of I got to... I get to entertain people. I get to be the teacher. And I get to work with kids with disabilities. So it led back. The road led back to me because through all these crazy things, I still got the things that I used to dream of when I was little. Yeah. I'm a mom, which is something I've always wanted. I am. a very good teacher yeah and i still get to do my whole data so i got all of it and um and literally never giving up on myself like even though i have always put other people before me like always i don't know what it's like to put myself first until this year until right now but even though I did all those things. I still. i'm so proud of myself and like what i have now and who i am now like wow imagine if i did prioritize myself like my god i and i have a quote saved on my phone from jenny in georgia that she said uh the mom said if i didn't go through everything i i went through i would be freaking president right now so imagine i would have prioritized myself like what
Speaker #1
i could have and i think that's the beautiful thing about this is that you can yeah move forward like you have agency over that like yeah
Speaker #0
you're still young you're yeah you will always have an audience yeah that's the great thing yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for being so vulnerable and open like thank you they're weird questions and i also i love them i love that i'm gonna be thinking like i want a clear answer of like what was i what are things i was told about myself yeah so i'm I'm gonna, I'll probably text you in a couple of days. Like, I got it.
Speaker #1
actually and i'm like okay we'll expand a little bit thank you thank you thank you coral

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Description

Together, Coral and Betty explore inner teens, bathroom camping, creativity, belief, and what it means to stop shrinking and start honoring who you’ve always been.

The road is long, but you never have to walk it alone.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, and welcome to my podcast, The Road Leads Back to Me. I'm Coral Seco. Today's guest is a very special person and someone who I would say is Miami's sweetheart, Betty Pastelitos. The reason I invited her onto my podcast was because it's really important to share stories of resilience and being a first-generation American. And what we as those kids had to endure. So I hope you enjoy her story and can connect to some of the trials and detours that she had to go through in life but the road led her back to her and she's going to be sharing that with us today welcome Betty thank
Speaker #1
you I'm so happy to have you here so welcome to
Speaker #0
The Road Leads Back To Me and this podcast is it's interesting right because you and I know each other and we worked on your podcast and we've done we filmed together so definitely I know I know your story so I know how to what questions like but I want to make sure I always leave it to you to whatever you feel comfortable talking about I'm an open book so give you that just you know just know that even though I know like you could share whatever you want to share here what leads back to me is a metaphor my foundation in therapy is an So it's very metaphor based and talk about stories and stuff like that. We were just talking about neurodivergence. Yes. Makes sense that my neuro spicy, but would love something.
Speaker #1
Yes.
Speaker #0
But the road leads back to me as a metaphor that I asked my clients to kind of reflect on their journey of life. Because when you ask yourself, where has my road led me? Right. We've had U-turns. We've had dead ends. And when you think about it, you kind of. are like man that was i had to make a new turn or i had to make a stop there and kind of like see what that was like and explore there and the gps is telling you like get back on exactly it's like u-turn u-turn detour whatever you use right so that's what the road leads back to me is about is kind of like reflecting on your journey and i know you and i've talked about this before but everyone talks about their inner child but no one talks about their inner team oh god i say that i just want to say that my energy but think about it right like our inner team is who like i think about you and i know your story and it's like it's so cool to see how you have delved into your authenticity of who you are like miami is you thank you no all day and i respect that a lot you know because that is that's where you were born yeah grace right like you have a lot of pride in the past away in that and you have made it your brand yeah like miami is your brand because miami is benny like i think about it yes and you know and that's such a cute thing and i love even like the name so kind of getting to see and if you can feel open to sharing of what your journey was like like what do you feel how would you describe yourself all the things okay comfortable talking about okay oh well what'd you say what was on your inner team okay we'll talk we'll get to that soon though okay yeah
Speaker #1
Yeah, I've never, I've recently started talking to my inner teen a little bit more, but I haven't like really brought her in a lot. Yeah, so my journey, the quickest way to describe the road that led me to this moment right now is I was born and raised in Miami. I'm the youngest of six kids. My older brother has Down syndrome, so I was raised like with him. We were the two that were like raised together and the other ones were older. So having a sibling with disabilities has a lot to do with like me and who I am. So I'm such an empath. And then growing up, I always said I either wanted to have my own show, like the big comfy couch or I wanted to be a special education teacher. And then I got to see an advertisement. And so I quit. Like, I was like, this isn't for me. And the thing is that like the child development classes, education classes, i wouldn't study like i would show up to class i would listen to the lecture i would take the test and i'll get mad that i had a 98 because i'm like how did i get a 98 on this what was the question that i got wrong yeah and then for like the media classes i would study make powerpoints this notes that it was still hard to like do the test so i was like oh i guess i'm meant to be a teacher okay so with the teacher route i left and on top of that i would have people tell me like your miami accent's never gonna get you on tv you need to get rid of your miami accent you have to kiss a lot of but to get to where you want to be. And so I went the education route, which I love. I love being a teacher. I love special education. When social media started to become more and more like a thing, I was like, oh my God, I get to do that thing of entertain people. Like, boleh. - Yeah. - I've always been that person. So now that social media is a thing and now that we have access to like, you know, show the world our talents or whatever we want to show them. I'm able to do a little bit of both. I'm able to be a teacher. I'm able to be a content creator. You know, the whole topic of the niche thing and this and that. It took me a while to figure out like what do I want to what's the main thing I want to put out in the world. But little by little, I just found my like little corner of the Internet. Yeah. I've tried everything in media. It's hard. But I just, I really love connecting with people. I do get, you know, when I get recognized at stores or here they are restaurants. And one time somebody asked me like, do you like it? Do you like that? You get recognized so much. And I'm like, what I like is that when people tell me like, I follow you to that, it's always happy. Like it's always like,
Speaker #0
the happiest OC.
Speaker #1
It's always like, oh my God, like sometimes I'm in bed with my husband and we're just laughing at you. And like, I love that. giving that to somebody like i love being that for somebody so that's like the quick quick like quick and dumb map quest like one sheet here of like how i'm going to hear it yeah except we have a whole audience of listeners being like what's not quest yes that's
Speaker #0
what we have to pay for gps yes literally literally so i guess you know something that i want to bring up is we talked about your you we talked about a little bit about your the journey of the road and definitely it sounds like growing up with your brother was a big influence right so like even leading to special education became something very intuitive and a lot of your content now is even like sensory bins and yeah which i i i personally as the mother of a young child really appreciate that um i wanted to ask you because you mentioned someone telling you that your accent is gonna hinder you right on this journey we what I guess I wanted to know with regards on that is your authenticity is what makes you you how has that like I guess how did you navigate that like that kind of like stigma of
Speaker #1
okay wait my accent is going to nullify me from having an audience yeah so it was like around junior senior year when I had to like pick like do a report about what you want to be when you grow up or whatever and I was like I'm gonna do it about being a news reporter like I want to be on deco drive and it was always like I never wanted to be like a news reporter I wanted to like be on deco drive be on sesame street that's still my big dream like if I could be on sesame street like that is my so I was like and then I remember them telling me Like, you know, unless you neutralize your accent, you're never going to get on TV. Like having to know and I'm like what accent? You know, like whatever. And that's when I started to learn like I'm different. And then I went away for college and I was away from Miami for two years hated it worst experience of my life came right back home. Where were you in FSU? And it was like my first time. It was a huge culture shock. I was by myself. My parents didn't support me going so I went by myself. It was like this whole thing. When I got told like, you're gonna have to neutralize your accent or you can't be on TV. I had to pick between like, keep this huge part of me or follow a dream job.
Speaker #0
Yeah,
Speaker #1
you know, so like imagine somebody told you like, you can have your dream job, you have to cut your arm off. Like, you'd be like, is it worth it? So I was like, why would I want to change how I talk? Like, it was very like, I was like, I guess I can do this then. Um, Still did the media classes and everything. And, you know, I would get to see an advertisement. It would be hard to pass the PR test, this and that. And then I was like, wow, like they were right. Like, I can't do this. Like, this isn't for me type of thing. But then people like Jenny Lorenzo, like the Cuban Abuela started to pop off. Yeah. I was like, she had a nice day.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Like the Chongalicious girls.
Speaker #0
My gosh, Miami people say.
Speaker #1
Miami people say. Like when all those things started to pop up, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Like it's like, people there is an audience for this yeah you know so um yeah i would like tone and i would like dive in a little bit i would like stick my little toes in into like what this is or whatever and about two years ago i was like i love this and i'm going on in like i love
Speaker #0
the camera i love entertaining i love it good at it so what was your first video that was like wow i got followers from it and
Speaker #1
how was like that experience for you so before i what was the first person that i did i don't know i don't remember what was the first first like but i worked with um a local media company in like 2018 at cuba miami so i worked with local content creators like mario mill myself miami and we would make videos like that and then that kind of started like i started to gain traction but the one video that that like it went big was during coveted the video of like which is funny because covet kids are now going into kindergartener so into kindergarten so i did a video of like kobe kids going into kindergarten like the teacher calling their names and it was like they all had like their names were like um it's always like the names of it like global and that video like blew up and then i was like oh this is cool you know and then um but i never was consistent or committed because then like you know you do one video and it goes really well and then you do another one it doesn't go that well and you're like this isn't like i was just like up and down like i still didn't believe in myself like i was so like but i'm a teacher about this but what do i like to do don't want you know little by little just like i was like i like this so i just put out content little by little and i don't know where it's funny because what people know me for now like a lot of people that run into me or see me or whatever they're like you're that instagram teacher and i'm like wow now i'm doing both things that i love yeah i'm doing your values i'm doing education stuff and i am um being able to do like media and it's funny because i also like those videos and i'm like okay people see me as like the holy lord and this and that and whatever and i was like but i have a wealth of knowledge of child development, special education. And so but when I put out videos like five ways to help your child read or this and that, like those videos like flop, they're like, we don't want to hear this from you. Like, so I'm like, okay, like, I know what my audience wants. If you guys need information, I'm here.
Speaker #0
But you're still doing it, you know? Yeah. And there may be someone who can relate to that, you know, and see it and It's hard right like cuz you kind of like oh this one look to this. Yeah, whatever I mean I got that and I think that's like fair - But it's hard. It's hard when you're kind of like but I like this - yeah, do we know this?
Speaker #1
I really know this information, but I guess people can Google it or ask chachi PT But yeah, but they can't chat GPT a funny video so they can Yes,
Speaker #0
so you mentioned a little bit ago I feeling like you didn't believe in yourself at a point of your journey, especially with the one video did good, one video did okay. How have you managed that as a content creator?
Speaker #1
Yeah, so I think once you're starting your journey, you really depend on the numbers and you look at the numbers a lot. And that really gets to you. Until one day I was like, who cares? Who cares? And I think I saw content creator talk about this or whatever. She's like, every time I go on live, I put a little Post-it note covering how many people are watching. She's like, so I don't get concerns about that. And I truly don't. First of all, I'm very type B. So I'm not one to sit there, like, who watched my video? How many times did I do it? The only time I look at analytics is when brands ask me. Because I can't. If you do it like that, the whole way, loco. So I don't look at it like that. I do the only times that I get like is that when I do like branded content and then the video doesn't do as well I get scared that like they're gonna hate me and I'm like oh my god they're gonna hate me they paid me to do this and now it's not doing but they don't hate me because then they come back and they're like can we do another video um so relying on the numbers made me be like I'm not good enough sure that and then the comparison game like looking at other creators and being like she's so much prettier she's so much this like she was so much funnier like she got a brand contract with l'oreal and i've never had like when you get into that comparison yeah it's hard not to compare but once you just like i think like two three years ago i made my word of the year believe so i was like let's say like yes i have a word of the year every year i love that so i made it believe and i literally it's funny because i made it believe and then a couple days later i went to own boutique right here and they had uh like a bin of like on sale jewelry and one of it was a charm for your necklace and it said believe and I was like and you know we're very spiritual I know so I was like so that year and like just like that repetition I'm like just believe in yourself like believe and and
Speaker #0
I think that you know to your point right like our thoughts have so much power oh yeah and what we say and I know you and I have talked about this ad nauseum at times yeah like words are spells so like what we put out and what we say and how we refer about ourselves too like it's so important yeah right because that's that forms your core belief a lot of our core beliefs come from like our childhood right oh yeah I think for me like I think back to my teen years and I know that was something that that was a pit stop that was very interesting. And like I mentioned, we always talk about the inner child, no one talks about the inner child.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So if you're open...
Speaker #1
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about her.
Speaker #0
Yeah, let's talk about her. Tell me a synopsis about her. What was her worldview? How did she view life? What were her aspirations? What were her dreams?
Speaker #1
Okay. So her dreams were to be on Sesame Street and to have a show like... You can say that. Yeah, no but like Like, that's always... I've applied to Sesame Street jobs, like, four times already. Like, even in my 20s. Like, I... So her dreams was, like, you're going to do it. Like, you're going to teach kids, like, on TV. And, like, no hate to her, Miss Rachel. But in 2016, I was driving to Tampa and I had the idea. I was like, what if I created a YouTube channel? And I was, like, a pre-K teacher. And I would, like, talk to kids on the screen. And I'm, like, teaching so that when parents... And then out of nowhere, Miss Rachel popped up. And I was like... but whatever that's not my journey that was hers and I'm very proud of her but um that was always who I was as a teen like there was no YouTube when I was a teenager but that's always like one day I'm gonna be on TV one day I'm gonna do one of these shows like sometimes I would even read books in Spanish because I was like what if I had the opportunity to be an opportunity to be on a show like Sesame Street but in Spanish so I would read books in Spanish to like get used to like speaking and reading in Spanish because I'm like for that one day when I'm like so my teenager self was that like that was my hopes and dreams but then the other part of me was like I can't wait to get out of this house it was like that I cannot wait like I had countdowns to like when do I get out when good when do I get to leave when do I get to leave when do I get to leave because me and my dad had a very tumultuous relationship we still do growing up so it's always like the when can I Like, through the power of social media, I've learned two terms that I'm like, that was me. So one of them was glass childs. Yeah. So it's the sibling of a child with disabilities.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And 1,000%, there was days that my parents would miss my shows or, like, my award ceremony or this or that because they had to be there for my brother. Or, like, my accomplishments and all of that wasn't that big of a deal because, like, my brothers was more important.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And then... i had a lot of guilt so for example when i started hanging out at dolphin margaret and then i never got my license because then my brother wouldn't have been able to get his license and it still follows me like when i got married i remember him telling me something like i can't wait to get so then you feel this guilt of like i get to do everything when he doesn't he has to live with my parents like whatever whatever um so glass child is one huge part of my inner teenager sure And the other term that I just learned maybe like a month ago on TikTok is bathroom camping. Stop.
Speaker #0
I have a feeling, I think I can imagine what it is but...
Speaker #1
So growing up, I had a lot of APs because my thing was like, "I need to be the best student in high school because I need to get out of here. I need to go to the best college in the world." Yeah. So growing up, I did all my homework, everything in the bathroom because we lived in a very small apartment. So my brother was always in the living room watching TV. My mom was always in her room. My dad was always, no, my brother was always in his room. My dad was always in the living room. So I had nowhere to be. Like, I did not have space because I had to share a room with my brother. So my special space was the bathroom. And I literally would like do homework sitting on the toilet on the counter. Like that was my desk. And now my daughter has been asking and asking and asking for a desk. And there's times I want to be like, yeah. We haven't gotten her the desk because of like the space or whatever. Now we're like doing construction. I keep telling her like as soon as we put the whatever, as soon as we move things around, I'll get you your desk. But I just think and like that's one of those things that's like becoming a mom that you're like, I get to get her desk.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Teenager Betty did not have a desk. I had the toilet. I mean, granted, I could have done the work in the dining room. But if you're doing the work in the dining room, my dad has Spanish TV on 100 volume 100. My mom is screaming the smells. So it's like... My happy and safe place was the bathroom. And then I learned that I wasn't alone in that experience. So a lot of people would hide. That's just somewhere you go to hide. And that's where people are not going to bother you.
Speaker #0
It's funny that you're mentioning that. That's why I was like, I have a feeling. I know what she's saying. And yes. So I would listen to an entire CD.
Speaker #1
In the bathroom? Yeah.
Speaker #0
Like in my little boom box. Yeah.
Speaker #1
And it's funny because now I still do that. I'll go in the bathroom to send a text.
Speaker #0
now I'm hiding from my kids oh yeah bathroom it's like you were probably very overstimulated especially yeah with everything going on for sure yeah so teenager buddy
Speaker #1
did a lot of bathroom camping the other day i had we had one popsicle i'm obsessed with the magnum like the chocolate like shell ice creams i'm obsessed with those but they come in boxes of three so the other day there was one left and my daughters were asking if and i was like no no there isn't anymore whatever when they were distracted i grabbed it i ran to the bathroom and i hit and i'm eating the ice cream in the bathroom locked the door i never locked the door like yeah and one of them comes mommy and i'm like
Speaker #0
i'm doing kaka like you can come in here and i'm just there eating my ice cream but i'm like car cafe no but think about it it's like i'll never forget when i was pregnant with with tommy my ob out i was like talking about the second born and he's like i'll never forget oh my god right right so awesome he's like you're gonna remember this it was what is how do you say you like It's even escaping to the bathroom.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And just taking a little longer in the shower. Yeah. Or just making believe the shower's on.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Just to have, just to have a little bit of time.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And like, and in my head now, now being, I mean, you're a mom of three now, I'm a mom of two, like it's a brain break.
Speaker #1
It is.
Speaker #0
It's just, and it's a, respectfully, sorry Al, um, it is even a break from him.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like going there like, and I'm like, and it's funny because it's still comfortable because like, that's what i used to do as a teenager and now i do that now you know i didn't have my own room i didn't have my own space growing up so it was funny i was talking to my husband the other day i was like you know i've never had my own room because i shared my rooms with my brother then i lived in the dorms then i got into a relationship that i wasn't supposed to get into then i had my daughter so i've never had my own like ever ever i don't know what that is yeah even like on vacation
Speaker #0
um yeah when i went to a conference for work for my old job i had a hotel room but it's also here yeah when you are by yourself yeah so as you reflect teen years and think now like you know we're talking about all of this and in camping which now is a new term after research because identify with how people are also calling it closet camping some people in the context were like oh i was a closet camper yeah i was just escaping there and having your own little space so especially but and i appreciate your story so much because it really it really talks and and expresses your willingness to even in the circumstances and even like i'm gonna sit on the toilet and i'm gonna get my ass out of here like yeah and that's literally me right and and it speaks a lot to like art are like not only the human spirit but also like Latino spirit yeah especially I know that's something we've talked about before too like being a first-generation child yeah that is something that you and I've talked about a lot I know a lot of people can relate because we had responsibilities that our pick up this we would never do to our kids now like having to negotiate FPL bills yes PL is Florida power and light like our electricity like i'm like i'm seven and my mom says she can't afford this so and she doesn't speak english what do we do and and we had to do it because our parents you know they that's what they needed right yeah it takes a lot to like our heritage and and our spirit and your dream right yeah so what messages growing up outside of what you shared did you have like as a teenager that maybe impacted your core belief about yourself um
Speaker #1
About myself? Wow, that's a really good question. I feel like this is something I think about a lot and then I have to tell myself like, no, like that's not true anymore. Okay. A lot of the ones that come to mind right now are more like financial based. But about myself, what are things that they have said about me? One thing I, this is so silly and random, but one thing that happened a lot growing up is I've always been good with kids.
Speaker #0
Okay.
Speaker #1
So they're always like whatever so i think that's why to today's standard i became a very young mom because i had a kid at 23 and it was because it was like which to today's standard that's very young and because like right when i was about to finish college i was like i have to have the kid sure like i have to have that kid that i was supposed to have yeah um well i could tell you also one thing that really hurt me and like hit hard was one time when i was when i finished college i went to go see the lady who used to take care of me growing up she had like an at-home daycare and she would take care of me talk i went to kindergarten and then in the summers and i was always like in charge i was always like i would put the kids to do homework and it was like a bootleg like at home daycare and um one time i went to go see her and i was a teacher and i was still like figuring out like what i want to do do i want to like Become an administrator. Am I gonna try to be on the news? Like what am I gonna do and she asked me what I'm doing And I was like, no because I know my whatever she's like, I open sake power to you guys principal. Oh So like her telling me that and I was like, am I failing in life? Like what's going on? She thought I was gonna be a principal right now and I'm not. And this is somebody who raised me. So that was like one message that I got older that I was like, okay, like, yeah, I'm failing in life. And it's like this lady in Hialeah telling me this. Um, but I can't think of like right now on the spot. I bet tonight when I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm gonna be like, no one thing. Um, But you know, like thinking of things like you're too much or you're like I don't think I ever got any of that. I don't know if it was because my parents were too busy with my brother that I can tell you one thing that impacted me a lot was I remember one day my dad telling me that I had to become a teacher because I had to help kids like Gus type of thing and I always have that in the back of my mind when I would say things like oh but what if I want to be a news reporter? and he'd be like and he'd be like no like that's not what you're supposed to be type of thing so it's like everybody growing up with like had a reason for me to not be on tv yeah you know um one of my ex-boyfriends was like also very like no like you're not how are you gonna do that like you don't even speak spanish that well and i'm there like i used to read spanish books like to practice like so i feel like a lot of people would tell me the whole like you're not going to be on tv thing so
Speaker #0
it must feel really good to now
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah and be celebrated for them for my spine
Speaker #0
I watch Love Island and I'm like I know some other references on TV is that's like I need my reprieve. I talk about scary things all the time Yeah, let me let my brain run a little bit here but you know hearing what you're saying and and I have first off, I validate you so much and so proud of you and the person you've become today. Thank you. And really like overcoming so much because you see you on the internet and you would not know. Yeah, this entire road that led to becoming Betty Pateito was not paved very evenly.
Speaker #1
Yeah. You know,
Speaker #0
it was very tumultuous at times. Yeah. I know me it sounds like too.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah. I'm I did have a lot of friends at school and all that. But then it was also like, I never wanted friends to come to my house and they didn't because I'm not going to bring, no. And then it was like hard to go to other friends' houses because like nobody wanted to drive me there. The other day, my dad calls me. He's like, I have something for you. Come over. Like, and I happened to be near their house. So I went to visit my parents really quick. And my dad was like, tengo acobate. Like, come get it, whatever. And I was like, what in the world can my dad have for me? Like, what does my dad have for me? Okay. And when I got there, it was like a manila envelope full of my ballet pictures. And I was just looking at them and I'm like, this was the happiest... Like, the one thing I would look forward to so much was ballet, which he ended up making me quit. But I was looking at those pictures and I was like, bro, what I would give to be in this picture. And I remember, and I was looking at all the details and it was like the... like the professional shoots that they did i was looking at all the d and i can like i felt it like i remember the palito that they made me hold i remember we had to march on the tool like i remember everything from that picture and i was like sure eight i remember i remember that so hard and i remember that i was eight because one of the other girls in my ballet studio turned eight before me and i was always jealous that she turned eight before me so i know that that's when it was yeah because turning eight was like a big deal a thing for me that was like what does she get to be in and she's a month older than me by the way and i was like oh why did she get this so that's why i know that that's when i was eight um but then my dad made me quit right before they were gonna put me on point and i never got on point um
Speaker #0
but that was when i see those pictures of my ballet i'm like so i guess this is a good question to then ask now When you think of that picture, of eight-year-old Betty, full of happiness, joy and creativity, right? Just getting to have the space. Like I think of a little dancer and like the stage is yours. Yeah. Yeah. Like especially now, like where you are. If you had 30 seconds to be with that little Betty right now and you could talk to her, what would you say?
Speaker #1
Aww. I would tell her to...
Speaker #0
become the news reporter she wants to become. I would tell her to go to New York, like to not go to Tallahassee because that place sucks. I would tell her to just take the stupid flamenco classes that my dad was making me take because that's still dance. And I would tell her like, there isn't a limit to what you can have. Like there is not a limit to what you can have. And it's okay to let people down. Oof. Not everybody has dance syndrome.
Speaker #1
because i never wanted to let my brother down so i was like it was like i can't hurt this person you know like it's okay to let people down it's okay in your pursuit of your dreams and your aspirations yeah and i never yeah especially in the pursuit of my dreams and i'm like i
Speaker #0
have never until this year like literally this year is when i started to put myself first like literally this year that's like my big big thing um i'm trying to find my word of the year for next year about that means that like one word that means like put yourself first i would definitely tell that little girl like it's okay to hurt people like not everybody's gust and it's okay to hurt gust too like if i have to hurt my brother like just hurt him it's fine he'll be fine um
Speaker #1
so yeah that's like a big thing i would tell her i think often and you know i know when you talk about gus and with regard to like him it's and i know when you say hurt you mean like he doesn't get to have those opportunities. Right. And you do. Right. So.
Speaker #0
Like, it's okay to like.
Speaker #1
Like, to go, to go enjoy yourself at prom. Enjoy yourself in these things. Yes. And not feel like you're bad because you get to have that. Here,
Speaker #0
I'll give you one example. One time we went to Walgreens and there was a Ninja Turtle shampoo and a Barbie shampoo. And my mom was like, you guys get to pick one. And next time we come, you'll pick the other one. Of course, I was like, okay, Gus, you can get the Ninja Turtle shampoo because I didn't want to hurt him. We never got the shampoo. And I always think about it like. shampoo because what if we find it out but it was like i let him pick and that is such an analogy of how i've lived my whole life until this year until like right now okay so it was always like no it's okay you can do it like that's the kind of just being hurt and burned so much and just like i'm literally burnt out of my life like having three kids like i'm just burnt out of like why and that's what i meant when i said like not everybody in the world has ds what i meant was like it's okay to get the Barbie shampoo. Like, it's okay to not let the other person get, like, it's okay. Like, don't, you don't have to carry and feel that hurt forever. And I do, like, over and over and over and over again. And this is the year that I was like, that's it. You know, like, it's okay to, like, for example, with ballet, that eight-year-old Betty in ballet, I was a really good dancer. So I always was, like, in the front. And that made one of my friends upset. and i would i remember dancing in the front like for her she should be here too because she wanted it instead of like enjoying the limelight yeah that you said that i earned because i was talented enough you know and i remember like i clearly remember being at the dade county auditorium right there on flagler by 27 dancing in the front people applauding and whatever being like what is it that she didn't get it and that's what i mean when i say like it's okay to hurt people like prioritize yourself yeah
Speaker #1
you know there's a there's this quote that i really love and i've always thought about it like throughout my life and it's like don't compromise yourself you're all you've got yeah it's true yeah at the end of the day yeah you're you're in your bathroom camping yeah just trying overstimulated like i just need to get out of here yeah that was so important for you to do that yeah and even the detour that was tallahassee and fsu right it led you to um because you're a huge cane fan you're probably one of the biggest cane fans i know and you're so proud of that because miami is you yeah and it's just all worked out it all worked out so a question i always like to ask my clients is when you sit down and think about it because the podcast is called the road leads back to me and i never want anyone think it leads to me like i it's actually a metaphor metaphorical question to ask yourself how has the road led back to me
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
So I guess that's my question for you if you ask yourself that.
Speaker #0
I think it led back to me because I still got what I wanted in terms of... Okay. I still got what I wanted in terms of I got to... I get to entertain people. I get to be the teacher. And I get to work with kids with disabilities. So it led back. The road led back to me because through all these crazy things, I still got the things that I used to dream of when I was little. Yeah. I'm a mom, which is something I've always wanted. I am. a very good teacher yeah and i still get to do my whole data so i got all of it and um and literally never giving up on myself like even though i have always put other people before me like always i don't know what it's like to put myself first until this year until right now but even though I did all those things. I still. i'm so proud of myself and like what i have now and who i am now like wow imagine if i did prioritize myself like my god i and i have a quote saved on my phone from jenny in georgia that she said uh the mom said if i didn't go through everything i i went through i would be freaking president right now so imagine i would have prioritized myself like what
Speaker #1
i could have and i think that's the beautiful thing about this is that you can yeah move forward like you have agency over that like yeah
Speaker #0
you're still young you're yeah you will always have an audience yeah that's the great thing yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for being so vulnerable and open like thank you they're weird questions and i also i love them i love that i'm gonna be thinking like i want a clear answer of like what was i what are things i was told about myself yeah so i'm I'm gonna, I'll probably text you in a couple of days. Like, I got it.
Speaker #1
actually and i'm like okay we'll expand a little bit thank you thank you thank you coral

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

Together, Coral and Betty explore inner teens, bathroom camping, creativity, belief, and what it means to stop shrinking and start honoring who you’ve always been.

The road is long, but you never have to walk it alone.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, and welcome to my podcast, The Road Leads Back to Me. I'm Coral Seco. Today's guest is a very special person and someone who I would say is Miami's sweetheart, Betty Pastelitos. The reason I invited her onto my podcast was because it's really important to share stories of resilience and being a first-generation American. And what we as those kids had to endure. So I hope you enjoy her story and can connect to some of the trials and detours that she had to go through in life but the road led her back to her and she's going to be sharing that with us today welcome Betty thank
Speaker #1
you I'm so happy to have you here so welcome to
Speaker #0
The Road Leads Back To Me and this podcast is it's interesting right because you and I know each other and we worked on your podcast and we've done we filmed together so definitely I know I know your story so I know how to what questions like but I want to make sure I always leave it to you to whatever you feel comfortable talking about I'm an open book so give you that just you know just know that even though I know like you could share whatever you want to share here what leads back to me is a metaphor my foundation in therapy is an So it's very metaphor based and talk about stories and stuff like that. We were just talking about neurodivergence. Yes. Makes sense that my neuro spicy, but would love something.
Speaker #1
Yes.
Speaker #0
But the road leads back to me as a metaphor that I asked my clients to kind of reflect on their journey of life. Because when you ask yourself, where has my road led me? Right. We've had U-turns. We've had dead ends. And when you think about it, you kind of. are like man that was i had to make a new turn or i had to make a stop there and kind of like see what that was like and explore there and the gps is telling you like get back on exactly it's like u-turn u-turn detour whatever you use right so that's what the road leads back to me is about is kind of like reflecting on your journey and i know you and i've talked about this before but everyone talks about their inner child but no one talks about their inner team oh god i say that i just want to say that my energy but think about it right like our inner team is who like i think about you and i know your story and it's like it's so cool to see how you have delved into your authenticity of who you are like miami is you thank you no all day and i respect that a lot you know because that is that's where you were born yeah grace right like you have a lot of pride in the past away in that and you have made it your brand yeah like miami is your brand because miami is benny like i think about it yes and you know and that's such a cute thing and i love even like the name so kind of getting to see and if you can feel open to sharing of what your journey was like like what do you feel how would you describe yourself all the things okay comfortable talking about okay oh well what'd you say what was on your inner team okay we'll talk we'll get to that soon though okay yeah
Speaker #1
Yeah, I've never, I've recently started talking to my inner teen a little bit more, but I haven't like really brought her in a lot. Yeah, so my journey, the quickest way to describe the road that led me to this moment right now is I was born and raised in Miami. I'm the youngest of six kids. My older brother has Down syndrome, so I was raised like with him. We were the two that were like raised together and the other ones were older. So having a sibling with disabilities has a lot to do with like me and who I am. So I'm such an empath. And then growing up, I always said I either wanted to have my own show, like the big comfy couch or I wanted to be a special education teacher. And then I got to see an advertisement. And so I quit. Like, I was like, this isn't for me. And the thing is that like the child development classes, education classes, i wouldn't study like i would show up to class i would listen to the lecture i would take the test and i'll get mad that i had a 98 because i'm like how did i get a 98 on this what was the question that i got wrong yeah and then for like the media classes i would study make powerpoints this notes that it was still hard to like do the test so i was like oh i guess i'm meant to be a teacher okay so with the teacher route i left and on top of that i would have people tell me like your miami accent's never gonna get you on tv you need to get rid of your miami accent you have to kiss a lot of but to get to where you want to be. And so I went the education route, which I love. I love being a teacher. I love special education. When social media started to become more and more like a thing, I was like, oh my God, I get to do that thing of entertain people. Like, boleh. - Yeah. - I've always been that person. So now that social media is a thing and now that we have access to like, you know, show the world our talents or whatever we want to show them. I'm able to do a little bit of both. I'm able to be a teacher. I'm able to be a content creator. You know, the whole topic of the niche thing and this and that. It took me a while to figure out like what do I want to what's the main thing I want to put out in the world. But little by little, I just found my like little corner of the Internet. Yeah. I've tried everything in media. It's hard. But I just, I really love connecting with people. I do get, you know, when I get recognized at stores or here they are restaurants. And one time somebody asked me like, do you like it? Do you like that? You get recognized so much. And I'm like, what I like is that when people tell me like, I follow you to that, it's always happy. Like it's always like,
Speaker #0
the happiest OC.
Speaker #1
It's always like, oh my God, like sometimes I'm in bed with my husband and we're just laughing at you. And like, I love that. giving that to somebody like i love being that for somebody so that's like the quick quick like quick and dumb map quest like one sheet here of like how i'm going to hear it yeah except we have a whole audience of listeners being like what's not quest yes that's
Speaker #0
what we have to pay for gps yes literally literally so i guess you know something that i want to bring up is we talked about your you we talked about a little bit about your the journey of the road and definitely it sounds like growing up with your brother was a big influence right so like even leading to special education became something very intuitive and a lot of your content now is even like sensory bins and yeah which i i i personally as the mother of a young child really appreciate that um i wanted to ask you because you mentioned someone telling you that your accent is gonna hinder you right on this journey we what I guess I wanted to know with regards on that is your authenticity is what makes you you how has that like I guess how did you navigate that like that kind of like stigma of
Speaker #1
okay wait my accent is going to nullify me from having an audience yeah so it was like around junior senior year when I had to like pick like do a report about what you want to be when you grow up or whatever and I was like I'm gonna do it about being a news reporter like I want to be on deco drive and it was always like I never wanted to be like a news reporter I wanted to like be on deco drive be on sesame street that's still my big dream like if I could be on sesame street like that is my so I was like and then I remember them telling me Like, you know, unless you neutralize your accent, you're never going to get on TV. Like having to know and I'm like what accent? You know, like whatever. And that's when I started to learn like I'm different. And then I went away for college and I was away from Miami for two years hated it worst experience of my life came right back home. Where were you in FSU? And it was like my first time. It was a huge culture shock. I was by myself. My parents didn't support me going so I went by myself. It was like this whole thing. When I got told like, you're gonna have to neutralize your accent or you can't be on TV. I had to pick between like, keep this huge part of me or follow a dream job.
Speaker #0
Yeah,
Speaker #1
you know, so like imagine somebody told you like, you can have your dream job, you have to cut your arm off. Like, you'd be like, is it worth it? So I was like, why would I want to change how I talk? Like, it was very like, I was like, I guess I can do this then. Um, Still did the media classes and everything. And, you know, I would get to see an advertisement. It would be hard to pass the PR test, this and that. And then I was like, wow, like they were right. Like, I can't do this. Like, this isn't for me type of thing. But then people like Jenny Lorenzo, like the Cuban Abuela started to pop off. Yeah. I was like, she had a nice day.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Like the Chongalicious girls.
Speaker #0
My gosh, Miami people say.
Speaker #1
Miami people say. Like when all those things started to pop up, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Like it's like, people there is an audience for this yeah you know so um yeah i would like tone and i would like dive in a little bit i would like stick my little toes in into like what this is or whatever and about two years ago i was like i love this and i'm going on in like i love
Speaker #0
the camera i love entertaining i love it good at it so what was your first video that was like wow i got followers from it and
Speaker #1
how was like that experience for you so before i what was the first person that i did i don't know i don't remember what was the first first like but i worked with um a local media company in like 2018 at cuba miami so i worked with local content creators like mario mill myself miami and we would make videos like that and then that kind of started like i started to gain traction but the one video that that like it went big was during coveted the video of like which is funny because covet kids are now going into kindergartener so into kindergarten so i did a video of like kobe kids going into kindergarten like the teacher calling their names and it was like they all had like their names were like um it's always like the names of it like global and that video like blew up and then i was like oh this is cool you know and then um but i never was consistent or committed because then like you know you do one video and it goes really well and then you do another one it doesn't go that well and you're like this isn't like i was just like up and down like i still didn't believe in myself like i was so like but i'm a teacher about this but what do i like to do don't want you know little by little just like i was like i like this so i just put out content little by little and i don't know where it's funny because what people know me for now like a lot of people that run into me or see me or whatever they're like you're that instagram teacher and i'm like wow now i'm doing both things that i love yeah i'm doing your values i'm doing education stuff and i am um being able to do like media and it's funny because i also like those videos and i'm like okay people see me as like the holy lord and this and that and whatever and i was like but i have a wealth of knowledge of child development, special education. And so but when I put out videos like five ways to help your child read or this and that, like those videos like flop, they're like, we don't want to hear this from you. Like, so I'm like, okay, like, I know what my audience wants. If you guys need information, I'm here.
Speaker #0
But you're still doing it, you know? Yeah. And there may be someone who can relate to that, you know, and see it and It's hard right like cuz you kind of like oh this one look to this. Yeah, whatever I mean I got that and I think that's like fair - But it's hard. It's hard when you're kind of like but I like this - yeah, do we know this?
Speaker #1
I really know this information, but I guess people can Google it or ask chachi PT But yeah, but they can't chat GPT a funny video so they can Yes,
Speaker #0
so you mentioned a little bit ago I feeling like you didn't believe in yourself at a point of your journey, especially with the one video did good, one video did okay. How have you managed that as a content creator?
Speaker #1
Yeah, so I think once you're starting your journey, you really depend on the numbers and you look at the numbers a lot. And that really gets to you. Until one day I was like, who cares? Who cares? And I think I saw content creator talk about this or whatever. She's like, every time I go on live, I put a little Post-it note covering how many people are watching. She's like, so I don't get concerns about that. And I truly don't. First of all, I'm very type B. So I'm not one to sit there, like, who watched my video? How many times did I do it? The only time I look at analytics is when brands ask me. Because I can't. If you do it like that, the whole way, loco. So I don't look at it like that. I do the only times that I get like is that when I do like branded content and then the video doesn't do as well I get scared that like they're gonna hate me and I'm like oh my god they're gonna hate me they paid me to do this and now it's not doing but they don't hate me because then they come back and they're like can we do another video um so relying on the numbers made me be like I'm not good enough sure that and then the comparison game like looking at other creators and being like she's so much prettier she's so much this like she was so much funnier like she got a brand contract with l'oreal and i've never had like when you get into that comparison yeah it's hard not to compare but once you just like i think like two three years ago i made my word of the year believe so i was like let's say like yes i have a word of the year every year i love that so i made it believe and i literally it's funny because i made it believe and then a couple days later i went to own boutique right here and they had uh like a bin of like on sale jewelry and one of it was a charm for your necklace and it said believe and I was like and you know we're very spiritual I know so I was like so that year and like just like that repetition I'm like just believe in yourself like believe and and
Speaker #0
I think that you know to your point right like our thoughts have so much power oh yeah and what we say and I know you and I have talked about this ad nauseum at times yeah like words are spells so like what we put out and what we say and how we refer about ourselves too like it's so important yeah right because that's that forms your core belief a lot of our core beliefs come from like our childhood right oh yeah I think for me like I think back to my teen years and I know that was something that that was a pit stop that was very interesting. And like I mentioned, we always talk about the inner child, no one talks about the inner child.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So if you're open...
Speaker #1
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about her.
Speaker #0
Yeah, let's talk about her. Tell me a synopsis about her. What was her worldview? How did she view life? What were her aspirations? What were her dreams?
Speaker #1
Okay. So her dreams were to be on Sesame Street and to have a show like... You can say that. Yeah, no but like Like, that's always... I've applied to Sesame Street jobs, like, four times already. Like, even in my 20s. Like, I... So her dreams was, like, you're going to do it. Like, you're going to teach kids, like, on TV. And, like, no hate to her, Miss Rachel. But in 2016, I was driving to Tampa and I had the idea. I was like, what if I created a YouTube channel? And I was, like, a pre-K teacher. And I would, like, talk to kids on the screen. And I'm, like, teaching so that when parents... And then out of nowhere, Miss Rachel popped up. And I was like... but whatever that's not my journey that was hers and I'm very proud of her but um that was always who I was as a teen like there was no YouTube when I was a teenager but that's always like one day I'm gonna be on TV one day I'm gonna do one of these shows like sometimes I would even read books in Spanish because I was like what if I had the opportunity to be an opportunity to be on a show like Sesame Street but in Spanish so I would read books in Spanish to like get used to like speaking and reading in Spanish because I'm like for that one day when I'm like so my teenager self was that like that was my hopes and dreams but then the other part of me was like I can't wait to get out of this house it was like that I cannot wait like I had countdowns to like when do I get out when good when do I get to leave when do I get to leave when do I get to leave because me and my dad had a very tumultuous relationship we still do growing up so it's always like the when can I Like, through the power of social media, I've learned two terms that I'm like, that was me. So one of them was glass childs. Yeah. So it's the sibling of a child with disabilities.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And 1,000%, there was days that my parents would miss my shows or, like, my award ceremony or this or that because they had to be there for my brother. Or, like, my accomplishments and all of that wasn't that big of a deal because, like, my brothers was more important.
Speaker #0
Sure.
Speaker #1
And then... i had a lot of guilt so for example when i started hanging out at dolphin margaret and then i never got my license because then my brother wouldn't have been able to get his license and it still follows me like when i got married i remember him telling me something like i can't wait to get so then you feel this guilt of like i get to do everything when he doesn't he has to live with my parents like whatever whatever um so glass child is one huge part of my inner teenager sure And the other term that I just learned maybe like a month ago on TikTok is bathroom camping. Stop.
Speaker #0
I have a feeling, I think I can imagine what it is but...
Speaker #1
So growing up, I had a lot of APs because my thing was like, "I need to be the best student in high school because I need to get out of here. I need to go to the best college in the world." Yeah. So growing up, I did all my homework, everything in the bathroom because we lived in a very small apartment. So my brother was always in the living room watching TV. My mom was always in her room. My dad was always, no, my brother was always in his room. My dad was always in the living room. So I had nowhere to be. Like, I did not have space because I had to share a room with my brother. So my special space was the bathroom. And I literally would like do homework sitting on the toilet on the counter. Like that was my desk. And now my daughter has been asking and asking and asking for a desk. And there's times I want to be like, yeah. We haven't gotten her the desk because of like the space or whatever. Now we're like doing construction. I keep telling her like as soon as we put the whatever, as soon as we move things around, I'll get you your desk. But I just think and like that's one of those things that's like becoming a mom that you're like, I get to get her desk.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Teenager Betty did not have a desk. I had the toilet. I mean, granted, I could have done the work in the dining room. But if you're doing the work in the dining room, my dad has Spanish TV on 100 volume 100. My mom is screaming the smells. So it's like... My happy and safe place was the bathroom. And then I learned that I wasn't alone in that experience. So a lot of people would hide. That's just somewhere you go to hide. And that's where people are not going to bother you.
Speaker #0
It's funny that you're mentioning that. That's why I was like, I have a feeling. I know what she's saying. And yes. So I would listen to an entire CD.
Speaker #1
In the bathroom? Yeah.
Speaker #0
Like in my little boom box. Yeah.
Speaker #1
And it's funny because now I still do that. I'll go in the bathroom to send a text.
Speaker #0
now I'm hiding from my kids oh yeah bathroom it's like you were probably very overstimulated especially yeah with everything going on for sure yeah so teenager buddy
Speaker #1
did a lot of bathroom camping the other day i had we had one popsicle i'm obsessed with the magnum like the chocolate like shell ice creams i'm obsessed with those but they come in boxes of three so the other day there was one left and my daughters were asking if and i was like no no there isn't anymore whatever when they were distracted i grabbed it i ran to the bathroom and i hit and i'm eating the ice cream in the bathroom locked the door i never locked the door like yeah and one of them comes mommy and i'm like
Speaker #0
i'm doing kaka like you can come in here and i'm just there eating my ice cream but i'm like car cafe no but think about it it's like i'll never forget when i was pregnant with with tommy my ob out i was like talking about the second born and he's like i'll never forget oh my god right right so awesome he's like you're gonna remember this it was what is how do you say you like It's even escaping to the bathroom.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And just taking a little longer in the shower. Yeah. Or just making believe the shower's on.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Just to have, just to have a little bit of time.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And like, and in my head now, now being, I mean, you're a mom of three now, I'm a mom of two, like it's a brain break.
Speaker #1
It is.
Speaker #0
It's just, and it's a, respectfully, sorry Al, um, it is even a break from him.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like going there like, and I'm like, and it's funny because it's still comfortable because like, that's what i used to do as a teenager and now i do that now you know i didn't have my own room i didn't have my own space growing up so it was funny i was talking to my husband the other day i was like you know i've never had my own room because i shared my rooms with my brother then i lived in the dorms then i got into a relationship that i wasn't supposed to get into then i had my daughter so i've never had my own like ever ever i don't know what that is yeah even like on vacation
Speaker #0
um yeah when i went to a conference for work for my old job i had a hotel room but it's also here yeah when you are by yourself yeah so as you reflect teen years and think now like you know we're talking about all of this and in camping which now is a new term after research because identify with how people are also calling it closet camping some people in the context were like oh i was a closet camper yeah i was just escaping there and having your own little space so especially but and i appreciate your story so much because it really it really talks and and expresses your willingness to even in the circumstances and even like i'm gonna sit on the toilet and i'm gonna get my ass out of here like yeah and that's literally me right and and it speaks a lot to like art are like not only the human spirit but also like Latino spirit yeah especially I know that's something we've talked about before too like being a first-generation child yeah that is something that you and I've talked about a lot I know a lot of people can relate because we had responsibilities that our pick up this we would never do to our kids now like having to negotiate FPL bills yes PL is Florida power and light like our electricity like i'm like i'm seven and my mom says she can't afford this so and she doesn't speak english what do we do and and we had to do it because our parents you know they that's what they needed right yeah it takes a lot to like our heritage and and our spirit and your dream right yeah so what messages growing up outside of what you shared did you have like as a teenager that maybe impacted your core belief about yourself um
Speaker #1
About myself? Wow, that's a really good question. I feel like this is something I think about a lot and then I have to tell myself like, no, like that's not true anymore. Okay. A lot of the ones that come to mind right now are more like financial based. But about myself, what are things that they have said about me? One thing I, this is so silly and random, but one thing that happened a lot growing up is I've always been good with kids.
Speaker #0
Okay.
Speaker #1
So they're always like whatever so i think that's why to today's standard i became a very young mom because i had a kid at 23 and it was because it was like which to today's standard that's very young and because like right when i was about to finish college i was like i have to have the kid sure like i have to have that kid that i was supposed to have yeah um well i could tell you also one thing that really hurt me and like hit hard was one time when i was when i finished college i went to go see the lady who used to take care of me growing up she had like an at-home daycare and she would take care of me talk i went to kindergarten and then in the summers and i was always like in charge i was always like i would put the kids to do homework and it was like a bootleg like at home daycare and um one time i went to go see her and i was a teacher and i was still like figuring out like what i want to do do i want to like Become an administrator. Am I gonna try to be on the news? Like what am I gonna do and she asked me what I'm doing And I was like, no because I know my whatever she's like, I open sake power to you guys principal. Oh So like her telling me that and I was like, am I failing in life? Like what's going on? She thought I was gonna be a principal right now and I'm not. And this is somebody who raised me. So that was like one message that I got older that I was like, okay, like, yeah, I'm failing in life. And it's like this lady in Hialeah telling me this. Um, but I can't think of like right now on the spot. I bet tonight when I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm gonna be like, no one thing. Um, But you know, like thinking of things like you're too much or you're like I don't think I ever got any of that. I don't know if it was because my parents were too busy with my brother that I can tell you one thing that impacted me a lot was I remember one day my dad telling me that I had to become a teacher because I had to help kids like Gus type of thing and I always have that in the back of my mind when I would say things like oh but what if I want to be a news reporter? and he'd be like and he'd be like no like that's not what you're supposed to be type of thing so it's like everybody growing up with like had a reason for me to not be on tv yeah you know um one of my ex-boyfriends was like also very like no like you're not how are you gonna do that like you don't even speak spanish that well and i'm there like i used to read spanish books like to practice like so i feel like a lot of people would tell me the whole like you're not going to be on tv thing so
Speaker #0
it must feel really good to now
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah and be celebrated for them for my spine
Speaker #0
I watch Love Island and I'm like I know some other references on TV is that's like I need my reprieve. I talk about scary things all the time Yeah, let me let my brain run a little bit here but you know hearing what you're saying and and I have first off, I validate you so much and so proud of you and the person you've become today. Thank you. And really like overcoming so much because you see you on the internet and you would not know. Yeah, this entire road that led to becoming Betty Pateito was not paved very evenly.
Speaker #1
Yeah. You know,
Speaker #0
it was very tumultuous at times. Yeah. I know me it sounds like too.
Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah. I'm I did have a lot of friends at school and all that. But then it was also like, I never wanted friends to come to my house and they didn't because I'm not going to bring, no. And then it was like hard to go to other friends' houses because like nobody wanted to drive me there. The other day, my dad calls me. He's like, I have something for you. Come over. Like, and I happened to be near their house. So I went to visit my parents really quick. And my dad was like, tengo acobate. Like, come get it, whatever. And I was like, what in the world can my dad have for me? Like, what does my dad have for me? Okay. And when I got there, it was like a manila envelope full of my ballet pictures. And I was just looking at them and I'm like, this was the happiest... Like, the one thing I would look forward to so much was ballet, which he ended up making me quit. But I was looking at those pictures and I was like, bro, what I would give to be in this picture. And I remember, and I was looking at all the details and it was like the... like the professional shoots that they did i was looking at all the d and i can like i felt it like i remember the palito that they made me hold i remember we had to march on the tool like i remember everything from that picture and i was like sure eight i remember i remember that so hard and i remember that i was eight because one of the other girls in my ballet studio turned eight before me and i was always jealous that she turned eight before me so i know that that's when it was yeah because turning eight was like a big deal a thing for me that was like what does she get to be in and she's a month older than me by the way and i was like oh why did she get this so that's why i know that that's when i was eight um but then my dad made me quit right before they were gonna put me on point and i never got on point um
Speaker #0
but that was when i see those pictures of my ballet i'm like so i guess this is a good question to then ask now When you think of that picture, of eight-year-old Betty, full of happiness, joy and creativity, right? Just getting to have the space. Like I think of a little dancer and like the stage is yours. Yeah. Yeah. Like especially now, like where you are. If you had 30 seconds to be with that little Betty right now and you could talk to her, what would you say?
Speaker #1
Aww. I would tell her to...
Speaker #0
become the news reporter she wants to become. I would tell her to go to New York, like to not go to Tallahassee because that place sucks. I would tell her to just take the stupid flamenco classes that my dad was making me take because that's still dance. And I would tell her like, there isn't a limit to what you can have. Like there is not a limit to what you can have. And it's okay to let people down. Oof. Not everybody has dance syndrome.
Speaker #1
because i never wanted to let my brother down so i was like it was like i can't hurt this person you know like it's okay to let people down it's okay in your pursuit of your dreams and your aspirations yeah and i never yeah especially in the pursuit of my dreams and i'm like i
Speaker #0
have never until this year like literally this year is when i started to put myself first like literally this year that's like my big big thing um i'm trying to find my word of the year for next year about that means that like one word that means like put yourself first i would definitely tell that little girl like it's okay to hurt people like not everybody's gust and it's okay to hurt gust too like if i have to hurt my brother like just hurt him it's fine he'll be fine um
Speaker #1
so yeah that's like a big thing i would tell her i think often and you know i know when you talk about gus and with regard to like him it's and i know when you say hurt you mean like he doesn't get to have those opportunities. Right. And you do. Right. So.
Speaker #0
Like, it's okay to like.
Speaker #1
Like, to go, to go enjoy yourself at prom. Enjoy yourself in these things. Yes. And not feel like you're bad because you get to have that. Here,
Speaker #0
I'll give you one example. One time we went to Walgreens and there was a Ninja Turtle shampoo and a Barbie shampoo. And my mom was like, you guys get to pick one. And next time we come, you'll pick the other one. Of course, I was like, okay, Gus, you can get the Ninja Turtle shampoo because I didn't want to hurt him. We never got the shampoo. And I always think about it like. shampoo because what if we find it out but it was like i let him pick and that is such an analogy of how i've lived my whole life until this year until like right now okay so it was always like no it's okay you can do it like that's the kind of just being hurt and burned so much and just like i'm literally burnt out of my life like having three kids like i'm just burnt out of like why and that's what i meant when i said like not everybody in the world has ds what i meant was like it's okay to get the Barbie shampoo. Like, it's okay to not let the other person get, like, it's okay. Like, don't, you don't have to carry and feel that hurt forever. And I do, like, over and over and over and over again. And this is the year that I was like, that's it. You know, like, it's okay to, like, for example, with ballet, that eight-year-old Betty in ballet, I was a really good dancer. So I always was, like, in the front. And that made one of my friends upset. and i would i remember dancing in the front like for her she should be here too because she wanted it instead of like enjoying the limelight yeah that you said that i earned because i was talented enough you know and i remember like i clearly remember being at the dade county auditorium right there on flagler by 27 dancing in the front people applauding and whatever being like what is it that she didn't get it and that's what i mean when i say like it's okay to hurt people like prioritize yourself yeah
Speaker #1
you know there's a there's this quote that i really love and i've always thought about it like throughout my life and it's like don't compromise yourself you're all you've got yeah it's true yeah at the end of the day yeah you're you're in your bathroom camping yeah just trying overstimulated like i just need to get out of here yeah that was so important for you to do that yeah and even the detour that was tallahassee and fsu right it led you to um because you're a huge cane fan you're probably one of the biggest cane fans i know and you're so proud of that because miami is you yeah and it's just all worked out it all worked out so a question i always like to ask my clients is when you sit down and think about it because the podcast is called the road leads back to me and i never want anyone think it leads to me like i it's actually a metaphor metaphorical question to ask yourself how has the road led back to me
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
So I guess that's my question for you if you ask yourself that.
Speaker #0
I think it led back to me because I still got what I wanted in terms of... Okay. I still got what I wanted in terms of I got to... I get to entertain people. I get to be the teacher. And I get to work with kids with disabilities. So it led back. The road led back to me because through all these crazy things, I still got the things that I used to dream of when I was little. Yeah. I'm a mom, which is something I've always wanted. I am. a very good teacher yeah and i still get to do my whole data so i got all of it and um and literally never giving up on myself like even though i have always put other people before me like always i don't know what it's like to put myself first until this year until right now but even though I did all those things. I still. i'm so proud of myself and like what i have now and who i am now like wow imagine if i did prioritize myself like my god i and i have a quote saved on my phone from jenny in georgia that she said uh the mom said if i didn't go through everything i i went through i would be freaking president right now so imagine i would have prioritized myself like what
Speaker #1
i could have and i think that's the beautiful thing about this is that you can yeah move forward like you have agency over that like yeah
Speaker #0
you're still young you're yeah you will always have an audience yeah that's the great thing yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for being so vulnerable and open like thank you they're weird questions and i also i love them i love that i'm gonna be thinking like i want a clear answer of like what was i what are things i was told about myself yeah so i'm I'm gonna, I'll probably text you in a couple of days. Like, I got it.
Speaker #1
actually and i'm like okay we'll expand a little bit thank you thank you thank you coral

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About The Road Leads Back to Me

Hosted by therapist and mental health educator Coral Seco, The Road Leads Back to Me is an honest, heart-opening journey through healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

Through raw conversations and reflective storytelling, Coral helps listeners connect the dots between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.

Executive Produced by Pink Grove Agency

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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