Speaker #0Spring cleaning. More often than not when we think about that we think about going through our closet cleaning out some things and starting fresh and anew. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new season. But this rendition of spring cleaning is going to look a little different and its purpose is to help move you forward in the higher version of you. So on today's episode of The Road Leads Back to Me we're going to talk about spring cleaning. friends edition and energy edition. Let's talk about it. So I'm going to ask you now to go a bit introspective because spring cleaning starts with yourself. I want you to ask yourself and do a personal check-in. How do I feel about myself? What's being held against me or what's holding me back from becoming the higher version of me? Do I not believe in myself? Do I think people are going to make fun of me? Do I think it's silly? Who reinforces that is the second question around you. Because once it starts introspectively and we are able to connect with what we feel, then we can action on that and reinforce by holding boundaries with the external. So asking yourself and doing that internal inventory of where am I in life right now and why? And instead of just blaming yourself, I want you to ask yourself if you have a relationship with someone in your life that just doesn't always feel good. And maybe makes you feel less than or makes you feel bad about yourself. I want you to ask yourself why. Notice there if it's something mutual. If sometimes one person, it'll become almost like a passive aggressive type of dynamic. That's toxic. And it's also... chasing dopamine to almost want to be right. That's ego driven. We're not trying to do that because we're trying to clean anything that is in the way and cluttering and anchoring us and ego will anchor you. So being mindful of our ego is another thing that we need to respect and also know that we are allowed to hold boundaries. And even if that has been the dynamic, we have the right to respect. And you need to know that. So being able to take that on and own that piece of, I have the right to be respected and I have the right to respect myself. It sounds a little cliche, but it's not as easy as it sounds. And it takes work to get there. So making sure that we are being mindful and recreating awareness around what limiting beliefs we have about ourselves is going to help propel us to the higher version of us. And once we do that recalibration and kind of internal check-in, comes cleaning out the other stuff. What I mean by that is the boundaries we hold with others and what we tolerate. We can hold a capacity for people's humanity. This channel is about holding boundaries and also making room for that. But the reciprocal end of it is that the person is following through on their work because a lot of fake accountability takes place. And we as humans, we want connection and we want to believe in the good of people. And so we tend to give chance after But all we're doing in that is just telling the person they can continue to disrespect us. And they can continue to do it as long as they don't pass this threshold. Someone that cares about you won't do that. So being mindful and creating awareness around the interactions that you have in your life, the people that you have in your life. who you surround yourself with is also a way of cleaning your energy spiel. I had a supervisor once that said to me, we are all responsible for the energy we put into a room. And there's so much truth to that, right? Like you kind of know when someone walks into a room where they're at. And sometimes you could feel that energy be super dense. And other times you could feel it be super light and just this like light of a person. And sometimes it could just be a little murky. That's still information. And that's still trying to figure out, okay, let me assess the energy around me. So if you have someone who is consistently using you, making you feel bad about yourself, lying to you, making or faking accountability, all the negative toxic things that we talk about all the time, you need to ask yourself, are you okay? with this continuing and that's a choice you can't get upset continues to happen because the person hasn't changed they've already shown you where they can meet because committed action is follow-through and we can make room for flexibility and someone learning how to do stuff but after a while and plenty of attempts sometimes behavior doesn't change and we need to then know when we have to respectfully move on some people are in our life in our lives for a season i always like to think of us as characters in a book some people make it through are like interval characters throughout the chapters of your life and then just like leave i'm sure you've read a book and you're like wow i wonder whatever happened to that character around that character just like never came back again or even in a show it's kind of like that and that's kind of eerie too right because it's like someone can mean so much to you at one point in your life and then disappear. and become nothing. But that is the cost of love and that is the risk of connection, us risking that. And that comes with courage and vulnerability and loving them. So being mindful of that as we spring clean and spring forward in our life, these are things that I want you to keep in mind because the people that we have around us are responsible for the energy that we also contribute to a room. Because if our friend is down, we may be on alert, our amygdala might be activated. Or if our partner is always on edge, that's going to shift the way that you are. And that's going to take you away from your value system. So another part that I want you to think about is getting really clear back on the introspection. What are your personal values? And what are values that are like non-negotiable for you? I know for me, the value of integrity. and the value of honesty are non-negotiable and you should want people around you that have similar values in that regard because that means they're safe and can hopefully take accountability for their actions and real accountability not fake accountability so being mindful of that and being aware of our internal value system also helps us see who is in this chapter and who doesn't make it to this chat and i just want to validate how hard it is especially when you may have known someone for a very long time you really thought that they were going to make it into this part of your life so you guys are going to grow old together unfortunately sometimes people are just a season of your past and you just can learn lessons through that dynamic of what we want what we will tolerate and what we know we deserve because we're worthy of dignity and self-respect that's it humane right for all of us across the board. So I was taking a few notes getting ready for this episode and I wanted to talk to you about some mental hygiene maintenance that I want us to work on. Part of the road leads back to me is giving you guys something supplemental to therapy or your own personal work. So these are just some reflection prompts that if you can work on them now and take a moment to great and if not Whenever you do take some time for yourself to be mindful, because we're working on our mindfulness as well, even if it's just five minutes, try to ask yourself some of these questions or commit some of these actions. So number one, we're going to call out our patterns. Think of Chicken Little. The sky is falling. The sky is falling. Your anxiety is always going to be on, right? If you, especially if you are always catastrophizing. From a spiritual level. i can tell you words are spells so what you what you say will be willed into existence also if you're anxious your brain is going to look for things to make you anxious why because it's what your nervous system knows so what do we have to do a hard stop that means implementing things like mindfulness and being you know okay so then what is an opposite thing i can think of well what is the best thing that could happen instead of it being bad what if the best thing happened That initially feels so inauthentic and so fake, but it becomes a habit after a while. And then you really do start figuring out, all right, if I take a moment, I now know that I can calm myself down. Maybe it's not the worst thing that it can be. So that's one call to action. Another thing is all or nothing thinking or black and white thinking. And when we think like that, it's either good or bad. And there are things that are either good. were bad to be fair but there are also things that are just like maybe there's like another alternative Maybe we can do something else instead of that. Self-talk that you would never use with a friend. This is an internal clock at moment. Would you ever talk like that to somebody else? If you heard one of your best friends being spoken to in that way, would you interject? And if the answer is yes, then why are you talking to yourself? Respectfully. Take a moment. And this is a call to action to... try to step toward grace for yourself. Hey, you know what? I didn't get it perfect, but at least I landed it this many times instead of that. Helping guide your brain to a space of gratitude tends to lead to more cognitive flexibility, which is what we want. And when we're working in alignment with our value system, it allows for that. Confusing intuition with anxiety. It's that like... felt sense where it's like, it's going to happen, it's going to happen, it's going to happen. And then it doesn't happen because it's just an anxious thought. So one of my favorite exercises to help myself ground myself when that happens to me is stop. I'll literally put my hand out and say, stop out loud. Usually a little louder than that. I forgive myself or I forgive that thought and I choose to think again. And that's by Gavin Bernstein. That's one of her mantras. It takes a bit, but once you start to do it, we already know that the 20, that's like 21 days or 21 days to build a habit, right? So imagine if you do something 21 times. Now it's like, okay, instead of your brain being hardwired, it's like already knows that it has to think in a different way. And the beautiful thing is that all of our brains have that. So what we know now about our synapses and cognitive flexibility is that it allows for us to help rewire. the way that we think it just takes committed action and mindfulness and process next i want you to think if a thought keeps showing up to ask yourself is this true something i like to say is as evidenced by what so for example if one of my one of my clients is saying something to me and they're like this person hates me okay as evidenced by what no i just i think that they hate me okay as evidence by what well they didn't add me to a group chat okay but i am in a group chat okay and we do go out all the time and we do hang out okay and they are very nice to me okay do you notice how i in saying that holding that space once you ask as evidence by what Your brain is trying to find the reason to make it bad. And after a while, it's kind of like, well, maybe it is my own stuff. More often than not, it is, if you think about it, right? Like when we're triggered, it's information. So that's information of something that was possibly a false sense from before. So ask yourself, is it true? Is evidence by what? Is this kind? Again, would you talk to anybody like this or allow anybody to talk like that to somebody that you love? And lastly, is this helpful right now? And that is one of my favorite things to say to people that are passive aggressive. And maybe try to be like, I'm blunt and this is just how I am. And you know that the head bop and all that stuff is true. When people are like that, that's such a defensive mechanism that people use to like try to assert power. If you're blunt, you can just say you're blunt. You don't need all that. I digress. You could ask them, is this helpful right now? What was your intention with that? There was a reason why you said it. Oh, that's not how I meant it. Are you being gaslit by someone and allowing them to gaslight you? That's something that you need to clock and you need to ask yourself if you're okay with it. And again, is this helpful right now? And we're grounding ourselves in that because if whether it's our personal belief, or something else that somebody else is saying to us, if it's not helpful in the moment, then why are we engaging in it? If it's just going to keep us stuck or get us more upset. Anger tends to be a feeling and an emotion that feels the safest because it allows us to re-release, but it's also bound by shame and because of ego. So being mindful of that as well. Now, the next call to action that I want you to be mindful of is what are we keeping and why? And this is one of the most important things and check-ins that we have to do with ourselves because we don't need to remove everything. Especially not all at once, but we need to be intentional as to why we allow certain people in our lives or what we tolerate. Especially if it anchors us or makes us feel bad about ourselves. So creating awareness around that is super important. So what are some things that we need to keep? Coping tools that keep us regulated and feel nervous system friendly, meaning we're not like this all the time. Boundaries that protect our nervous system because we're worthy of... holding boundaries especially if something makes us feel uncomfortable starting to incorporate little routines that help ground you if you have been following me on social media you know that i am now identify as a bedazzler because it is literally how i am coping to you so i give myself these little pockets of peace i think of novella who's one of my like favorite um creators on instagram And she has this phrase called pockets of peace. And me bedazzling gives me that pocket of peace. I've also been waking up earlier to start my day and just have my mommy time for myself that it's just my time. Maybe not mommy time. It's like quarrel time. I'm just me by myself. No one's calling for me. No one's asking anything of me. I can do and scroll if I want to. And I not have shame around it. And that is me giving myself a brain break. And I can tell you this much, since I've been starting this little morning routine of mine, my days have been much smoother because I have a moment instead of being, I am in Miami, guys. I have to drive on my Palmetto. If you know, you know. I play Mario Kart every single day of my life. It is very disorientating to have to drive through that. So I'm very grateful that I'm actually much more chill. And I feel... much safer driving myself and my children in the car every morning. So having those mindful moments and creating those small habits, sometimes start at like 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and you carve it out when you can. But just give it back to yourself, whatever it is that you're doing to help self-suit. And I want you to also, lastly, check what relationships around you fill your cup and whose cup you've filled as well. That's important. Because when we have someone that we know, kind of like those friends that you maybe don't talk to all the time, but when you do, it's like time has never passed, right? But still making that effort to speak to that person or making that effort to still have healthy connections. When we start building more on our healthier connections, we don't pay attention to the toxic ones because our nervous system is recalibrating. And that feels better. We're much more creative. We're much more at peace. We're much more calmer. We also have less disease when our nervous system isn't dysregulated at all times. Why? Because you're not frying yourself. So it's important that we take that seriously. And lastly, spring cleaning isn't just about removing, as I said. It's about being intentional of who you want around you and how you want to present. especially in this next version of you within this next year we're already on march of 2026 which is nuts the days are long but the weeks are short so make them count something i want to leave you with today is a reminder that you are allowed to outgrow certain people places or things that are around you you don't have to stick around just because it's what you've known More often than not, what you've known maybe belongs in the past because that's no longer the person that you are today. That's the hope, right? You evolve into a better human. And sometimes, unfortunately, people just stick around to what they know and want to stay stuck. And that's a choice. And you can leave them where they want to be. You don't have to go and do that, especially if you feel like it's anchoring you down. So I hope that all this was helpful and my little spring. forward metaphor was helpful and I want to let you know that I'm going to try this new thing where I'm going to be adding some journal prompts into the bottom of the screen today and if you found any of this helpful please let me know in the comments and I really hope that you can take whatever resonates with you from this and whatever you feel like you need to reflect on through the journal prompt and just do it for yourself you don't have to comment that If you want to share, you can, but if you aren't there, definitely bring it up and see how that is impacting your day to day. Thank you so much for joining today's episode of The Road Leads Back to Me. I am Coral Seco, and please make sure to like and subscribe if you found this content helpful, and share with a friend. And if you have someone that you know needs to do some spring cleaning in their life, put it in your story or put it there. Sprinkle, sprinkle. Who knows? Maybe someone will pick it up. You never know who may need to hear that message for themselves. So until next time, take care. I'm Coral.
