- Speaker #0
Hello, creative cutie. I hope you're doing well. It's Lauren here, and you're listening to Unleash Your Inner Creative. Continuing on with our tour of some of the best episodes ever of Unleash Your Inner Creative, I'm sharing one of my favorite ever creative coaching sessions with you that I've done on the show. I don't know if you know this, but I am a creative coach, and occasionally, I'd like to do it more, I do episodes with listeners coaching them. And in this episode, it was very special because I actually spoke with someone who had been on the show multiple times, Caroline Stokes. Caroline Stokes is a musician, an artist, and a comedian. And this episode was not only powerful because I felt honored that somebody who I saw as fully creatively unleashed wanted a coaching session for me, but also because I really came into myself as a coach during this episode and discovered how much I can trust myself. You'll hear me like start to realize like, oh, my intuition is a big part of how I coach people. And this episode in particular made me love coaching in a whole new way. And when I'm recording coaching episodes, I don't even think of it as episodes as they're happening. I think of it as I'm in a coaching session that just happens to be recorded. But it really helped me realize like coaching is the one place in my entire life where I feel completely present and trust myself. And I wish just for all of us that we have one thing like that where we feel like we can be completely ourselves, completely present and trust ourselves. And you'll hear how I helped Caroline uncover one of the most important creative hidden dreams that she had been kind of concealing or underplaying even to herself about how important it was to her and how to start to incorporate that into her life and balance it with her other forms of creativity. and the forms of creativity that are making her money. This is an especially important episode for anybody who is a creative multi-hyphenate on how to start to balance your creative career. There's actually a very practical and spiritual way that you can start to balance your time that I go through with Caroline on the air that you can use in your own life. And also, it's a great episode to listen to if you're trying to start a new career, if you're trying to figure out how to bring forth this authentic. part of yourself that you've kind of been repressing or afraid to share publicly, and also for any coaches, teachers, and mentors on how to trust yourself and that sometimes your weird ideas are actually super helpful. Even if they come to you on the fly and you're like, I don't really know what this is about. Like that's kind of what was happening to me when I was coaching Caroline. That coaching ended up helping her start to incorporate this new dream into her business and balance her time in a way that felt more authentic to her. And it came because I trusted myself in the moment. So. Check it out. Enjoy this coaching episode with Caroline. Next week, I will be back with all new content. Can't wait to share it with you. Also, if you're interested in doing a coaching episode on the show or engaging me as an ongoing coach, I do offer coaching. It is one of my passions. It's one of the places where I feel most lit up in my whole life. And I would love to support you on your creative journey. You can reach me on my website, laurenlagrasso.com. Click the contact page and select coaching or lauren.lagrasso at gmail.com. Okay. In the meantime, enjoy this episode and check out Caroline. She's so brave and badass and creative in every way. Do you struggle with figuring out how to balance your multiple creative passions? Or do you have a new creative dream that you're afraid to even begin to start thinking about? Today, I'm taking you inside a creative coaching session with a very successful Past Unleashed guest. who wanted a coaching session with me to figure out how to properly allocate time to each of her passions, figure out her why behind her dreams, and start up a new creative passion too. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, and multi-passionate creative, and this show is meant to give you tools to claim your right to creativity, take fear out of the driver's seat, and love, trust, and know yourself enough to pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. Today I'm taking you inside a creative coaching session with Caroline Stokes. Caroline's a comedian, dancer, visual artist, musician, and self-expression expert who's been lighting up the internet with her hilarious content, building an audience of 111,000 followers on TikTok and almost 20,000 people on Instagram. This is actually Caroline's third time being on Unleashed. I'd consider her a great friend and a friend to the show. And I was quite honored that she, somebody who I see as fully Unleashed, wanted to be coached. And I think it's a good reminder for all of us that no matter where you are in your career or your creative journey, that everybody needs someone to see, guide, and believe in them. That oftentimes, that's how people got to where they are in the first place, and they know that's how they'll continue to grow. This coaching session helped Caroline and figure out a plan. a part of her creativity she didn't even know she desired so deeply. It was also really illuminating for me because I discovered a whole new way to guide fellow multi-passionates and honestly to guide myself on how to allocate time and creative energy. It was honestly pretty revolutionary. So with that said, from today's chat, you'll learn how to find your why for your dreams, how to best allocate your creative time and heart, ways to introduce new passions to your audience and community, and why I believe in the art of being bad at something when you're starting out. Okay, now let's jump into my coaching session with Caroline Stokes. Caroline, my friend, you're back on the show. Thank you so much for being here and for letting me coach you. I'm so excited.
- Speaker #1
Oh, man, I feel like I'm the winner here. I've been wanting to be coached for you for a while.
- Speaker #0
Wow.
- Speaker #1
Thank you.
- Speaker #0
What an honor. This is just really exciting. So for those of you that don't know, Caroline is one of our probably most frequent Unleashed guests at this point. This is your third time on the show. You've been on the show twice as a guest, and you're an incredible performance artist. You're a comedian. You're a musician. You're also an incredible visual artist and just an overall beautiful person who's had quite a bit of success creating online. performance and also in person, but like you've got a really big TikTok following, a dedicated Instagram following. And so I was honestly a little surprised that you wanted coaching because like from the outside world, right, you're crushing. But it's like when we're inside our world, it's always different, right?
- Speaker #1
Exactly. I find I'm looking for a little bit of guidance to hone in what I'm doing a little bit more, a little bit more. focus and a bit more clarity on why the heck I'm doing what I'm doing.
- Speaker #0
Ooh, love that.
- Speaker #1
No pressure.
- Speaker #0
No, no, no. I don't feel pressure. I feel excitement because I think the why is what is between us and everything juicy and good in life. Like if our why isn't grounded, then it's really difficult to ever fully unleash our inner creative, right? Because if your why is coming from any place of lack, or needing approval or like even just like a I don't know I kind of lost my joy somewhere along the lines your work and your output is not ever going to be as you as it could be no I think that's a really beautiful place to be coming at it from and also like everyone in the world needs coaches I just think it's important to remember that like coaches need coaches I need people helping me with my podcast even though I produce all these big podcasts and I have an award-winning show like Every person you see needs guidance. And I think it's really beautiful that you were so excited to ask for it. Like it just really inspired me and was like, you know what, I'm going to reach out to someone who I want guidance from because I thought that was awesome. So I just want to give you some kudos there.
- Speaker #1
Oh, well, thank you so much. Thank you for saying yes. You have such a great way with words. And I think it's so great that your podcast title works its way so easily into a sentence. What is it? An adjective? Is it an action phrase? Unleash your inner creative? Yeah. Genius. Whoever came up with that is probably you.
- Speaker #0
Well, it was me and my friend Ashley, but she came up with the word unleash. Yeah. She's been a huge part of this show. So, okay. You're looking for your why, no pressure, but can you tell me where you're at right now? What are you currently doing? What does your day-to-day creative output look like? Just take me through that piece first.
- Speaker #1
Right now, I'm... A big focus of mine is on painting. I have unleashed my inner introvert and that side of me is really enjoying quiet painting at home with my cats. During the pandemic and like you're talking about with my online creating, I've been doing a lot of videos on the internet and that is really great and it's a big part of me and I also really want to foster this. my artistic side, my visual artist painting side. So I've been focusing on that. And I have a hard time figuring out how to combine those two, because obviously, they're two parts of me. And one reason why I started thinking a lot about this is I had a really great psychologist session with someone that I've been seeing for a year. And she helped me realize how much of an introvert I am, and how performing and comedy, it's quite a small part of who I am. Well, we all have so many parts to who we are, but I find that when people meet me for the first time, they expect me to be really loud. And my friends joke that they expect me to come in dressed as a bird and waddling and perch on a chair and just have that kind of personality. And so, yeah, I had a really great session with my psychologist and just helping me really realize how introverted I am and how that part of me hasn't been listened to a lot lately. So now I've. I've been listening to it and creating and painting and it feels so good. While I also love the silly fun content that I've been doing online.
- Speaker #0
Well, first of all, congratulations on honoring who you are.
- Speaker #1
Thank you.
- Speaker #0
That's a huge step in life to not try to fit into the box of what we think we should be and finally put our hands on our hearts and say, I accept you for who you are. And I'm going to start making more choices to honor that self. and to create spaces of comfort and authenticity for my full self, even if it's not what would be like the most quote unquote popular thing or expected thing of you. And I'm also really proud of you because that took guts to admit. I will say too, like when I first met you, I'm like, oh wow, like you're quite a serious person. You're very serious. You're very focused. You're very pensive. Knowing you as a human, it makes more sense to me. that you're a visual artist, then as a performance art, the performance artist thing is like very much you're acting like you're not going to be as far as I can tell. And again, we don't know each other so, so well, but I consider us friends and like we've talked at great lengths and I really love your heart and your spirit and your sweet kindness and just your artistic soul. But you're the kind of person who at a party, I feel like you would be a deep listener and somebody who's contributing like deep thought to the conversation and really sharing of yourself, but not like you're going to get on the table and like dance maybe sometimes, but not most of the time. Right.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I definitely have danced on many tables. Yeah. But those moments are definitely short and yeah, sparse and definitely less frequent now that I'm in my thirties. And now that I'm realizing all those times that I would dance on tables, there is that performance. I feel like having some attention on me. sort of feeling versus that being really what I'm all about. So yeah, you nailed it on the head.
- Speaker #0
So when you put something out there that is a performance piece, whether it's comedy or music, because you do so many different things, what is your current why for that? When you do that, like what drives you to do it?
- Speaker #1
I'm driven by developing when I have an idea for something, I like to turn it into something and put it out into the world. But maybe there's something deeper than that. Maybe it's trying to grow my social media following to get more opportunities coming my way. Sometimes I see it as a challenge to create a thought that was in my head. If I get a funny thought, I'd like to create it, write it. I did a writing class recently and I've been practicing the art of writing and I find creativity breeds creativity. I find when I stop creating things, videos or even art, I find I really, I stopped doing those things and I'm not working those muscles. So what's my why? I feel like I'm kind of beating around the bush.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, I feel like it's muddled. Like I want to see if there's some sort of like, so Salvador Dali has this quote and it's like, I'm painting pictures which make me die for joy. I'm creating with an absolute naturalness without the slightest aesthetic concern. I'm making things that inspire me with a profound emotion and I'm trying to to paint them honestly. So I always think of this quote when it comes to creativity. Like, are you doing something that would make you die for joy, that you would create with an absolute naturalness without the slightest aesthetic concern? And are you making things that inspire you with a profound emotion? And are you being honest? So like you, to me, all of your work, yes, check, check, check, check, has that. But like, what is your thing that could bring you to tears when it comes to your... Comedy or is it just like really you do it for the joy and for the challenge?
- Speaker #1
I'd say right now I do it for the joy and the challenge. I'm trying to hone in on the thing where I say, oh, yeah, that's it. This is what I want to be creating. I find when I've been putting funny content on the Internet lately, every time I do it, I ask myself, why did I just do that? Is that who I am? Is that what I want to be doing with my time right now? Some days I feel like I need to do it because people expect me to be funny. But some days I do feel like doing it. It feels a little bit muddy for me right now, figuring out in what ways that I'm a comedian, how big a part of me is that.
- Speaker #0
Can I tell you the number that keeps coming to me?
- Speaker #1
The number?
- Speaker #0
Yeah, I keep seeing a number. I keep seeing like 20%, like 20% of you is that.
- Speaker #1
That feels true. I just felt a little feeling in my stomach. I feel everything in my stomach. Felt true.
- Speaker #0
That's wonderful that you feel your emotions in your body. That's so powerful. because that's where like the true you know, the stomach holds like most of the serotonin in the body. Your stomach is directly related to your brain and your emotions and your heart and everything. You know that. Anyway, yeah, I keep seeing 20 percent, 20 percent. So as your friend and as your coach, I feel like I would like to advise you to only post comedy when you want to, when you want to, Not because you're looking for, oh my God, I hope. people like this or because you feel pressured. It's like if you feel like you want to make a video where you're Caroline, if you don't know, does these amazing side by sides where she like will replicate sometimes when an animal is doing some like ridiculous dance a person's doing. If you feel like you want to like replicate like a weird little like shimmy that a squirrel is doing, then I want you to do it because that's coming from a you place. That's coming from the you. That's not coming from the you that needs to prove. That's not coming from the you that's looking for acceptance. That's coming from the you that is the artist. And then I think in that, if there is a deeper why, you're going to find it. But maybe it's just joy. And that's also good enough. You know, it doesn't have to be something that makes you cry. Maybe this part of your creativity is just like this 20% chunk that's really beautiful that you express when you feel like it.
- Speaker #1
Right.
- Speaker #0
And art, your visual art, maybe that takes a bigger place. Maybe it's something else entirely. I don't know. but I keep seeing 20%.
- Speaker #1
Pretty much sums up all my grades in school. All of them combined. Funny. No, I was like a 70% kid. Yeah, that's great. I'm imagining the moment when I'm impersonating a squirrel and it brings tears to my eyes. That'll be the moment. You know, speaking of creating something and crying, you might be able to relate to this being a singer-songwriter. But for my last friend show this August, I wrote six original songs for it. I've written a lot of song parodies, but I've never written original songs, original music. And doing that was the first time I've ever created something and it made me tear up.
- Speaker #0
Okay, hello, let's follow this thread.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, which has never happened to me before. And it was just the best.
- Speaker #0
Well, how would it feel to start writing more music?
- Speaker #1
I've got my piano. It's got a little bit of dust on it right now. I moved it into the sunlight. It was in a dark. corner. I just moved it the other day. Because the one thing that I imagine myself doing that when I'm old and gray, if I didn't do I would regret and it would be being on a big stage or any kind of stage, but a big stage with an orchestra behind me because why not I'm dreaming. And I play a set of original music, the music that I wrote for my friend show. It was sentimental. Some of it was upbeat, but it was laced with some humor.
- Speaker #0
throughout so it was gentle musical comedy I would put it it was it had a nice message to it and a bit of humor in it yeah that's like you gentle musical comedy okay I'm gonna tell you I'm seeing another number I'm sorry this is weird like I don't feel like we're playing bingo I see 40 percent for music yeah it wants to take up more space in your life and that moving the piano into this room was really important.
- Speaker #1
And my cats love it too.
- Speaker #0
Yes, and that's a good sign. But you're basically telling your creative angels that you're ready for more music to come through.
- Speaker #1
Totally. I just had a shiver. It's almost like a part of me knew that it was a physical representation of bringing my music into the light. When my parents were visiting a few weeks ago, my mom saw where I had put my keyboard. And at the time, I really thought it was a good place. But then suddenly, all it looked like to me was a... dark corner that I never, I walk past it every day to go up to my room. But then the other day, moved it into the light. And that feels like a metaphor for your 40% you just gave me. It is. 40% feels true, too.
- Speaker #0
Because I will also tell you, as somebody who's been your friend and an admirer of you and your career for a long time now, I'd say a long time, two and a half years. When you talk about music, you light up in a different way than when I've seen you talk about anything else. I remember you talked about like... Didn't you sing an Elton John song or something at this show you did? I remember you talked about that on my podcast and what a feeling that was to like sing in front of an audience and how proud it made you. And there's a lot there. Don't shy away from it. Dive in.
- Speaker #1
You're giving me little butterflies. Oh, I know it's good.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
Do you have a crystal ball over there, Lauren?
- Speaker #0
I'm just following you. I'm just like. I'm following the energy of this conversation. This is really cool. This is why it's hard to say what creative coaching is, because it's really just an energetic exchange and trying to listen to what you're saying and what you're not saying, and then fill in the spaces and try to help guide and shape from there. Right. Okay. So music, taking a bigger step toward it in your life. And what could that look like for you? Could you carve out 30 minutes a day or at least a couple times a week? to sit at the piano and just see what happens?
- Speaker #1
For sure. If I said no, I would be lying. Yes, totally. I get very one track minded. Was that a phrase?
- Speaker #0
One track thinking?
- Speaker #1
One track thinking where right now I'm trying to finish a bunch of paintings. So all I've been doing is painting. But I've been learning how to loosen the grip on the paintbrush and walk away and go for a walk. Just because it's good to take breaks. I hear my mom's voice in my head. you know, put down the brush. Just either when you think it's finished, just stop fiddling with it or turning the piece away and not looking at it for even an hour, even five minutes and coming back to it. So breaks are encouraged.
- Speaker #0
And do you paint in that same room where the piano is?
- Speaker #1
I was on one of the walls. I had my piano. It was kind of my creative corner. I've got my paints in there and then also my piano. But the piano, it was piled with canvases and the vacuum was front of it. And then also my, you know, it was in the corner. So I moved it away. So now it's in the living room. Yeah. And two, when it was in that back room, I thought, well, how I love the idea of having a repertoire of music. Hey, you're right. I do get very electric talking about piano. I feel like I could go run around the block. I feel excited.
- Speaker #0
That gives me a shiver and brings tears to my eyes. I mean, there's something so magical about admitting your creative dream to yourself.
- Speaker #1
Hmm.
- Speaker #0
About starting on an endeavor that you kind of always in the back of your head thought you would do, but you were scared you never would.
- Speaker #1
Oh, yeah. Because honestly, it's the hardest thing of all the three things, acting like a squirrel, painting a painting, or sitting down and writing a song. The hardest one of all those three would be sitting down and writing a song for me. It's the thing that feels the most unfamiliar. My piano hands are very rusty. Which then I have no excuse because my mom is a wonderful pianist and she's been helping me. So I really have no excuses. I have time. I have a piano. I have a mom who taught piano lessons forever. I have no excuses. But it's the hardest thing. It is like to think of creating 10 original songs and knowing them all on piano and playing them in front of a crowd. That is like climbing Everest.
- Speaker #0
Well, people do it all the time.
- Speaker #1
And then they also never come back down. But that. doesn't relate to this.
- Speaker #0
No, you're not going to die at the piano. That's not going to happen.
- Speaker #1
It sounds more intense.
- Speaker #0
No, but it is.
- Speaker #1
I was trying to make you say, oh, you're right. Sympathize with me.
- Speaker #0
I do sympathize because. No,
- Speaker #1
I'm just kidding.
- Speaker #0
No, no, no. I mean, I think it's a real big thing. Like admitting any creative dream is scary. It's vulnerable. It's really vulnerable to start something new, but also realize nobody has to hear these until you feel ready. Like you said, right? You're an introvert. You're finally ready. to admit that to yourself and not only admit that but embrace it and see the power and the beauty in that why not let yourself also be an introvert with this new creative dream the whole world doesn't have to hear the songs until you feel comfortable with them right and once you feel comfortable or at least you're never going to feel fully comfortable because it's scary as to share your music but Once you feel excited enough where you're like, if this song stays inside of my living room, I will perish. I have to put this out into the world. Until you get to that point or to the point where you're like, I just really want to share this. This feels joyful to me. You don't have to. It's about. allowing yourself to be who you are. And if you cut off this musician part of you, 40% is a pretty big part. If you cut that off, you're abandoning yourself. And it doesn't feel like you're in a stage of life where you're willing or wanting or even able to do that anymore.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I was just thinking of how exciting, you know, I say that it's like, feels like climbing Everest. It feels exciting to discover something that is the next level of vulnerability. Because I know I'm not the next Celine Dion. I don't have a voice that would make a grown man cry. I don't know what the phrase is. But I know that I can carry a tune and I have a good enough voice. But yeah, it feels extra vulnerable than the other things that I've done. And it feels exciting to feel that feeling of diving into the unknown.
- Speaker #0
You're ready for everything that comes your way, including embracing your musician. One person I want you to look up and let be your imaginary creative mentor. until you meet her is Mary Gaucher. Her last name is spelled G-A-U-T-H-I-E-R. So very different. I mean, she's French. Must be.
- Speaker #1
I'm like, Gautier.
- Speaker #0
But I had her on the podcast. You should listen to that episode. She's incredibly inspiring. She didn't start writing music until her early 30s. She moved to Nashville at 35. She didn't make any money from her music until she was 40. So she got started kind of like in a similar age range to what we are, you know. And I think that her story could be really inspiring to you because she doesn't have a voice like Celine Dion. But guess what? Her voice does make me cry. It's because she sings with pure, raw emotion. She's a country singer, so it's not going to be the same style, probably. But I could see you having a similar emotional texture to how she writes. You don't have to be Celine Dion. Okay. There's only one. So your why for creating music is because if you don't create music, you're literally amputating a part of yourself. So you're doing it to get fully integrated with who you are. Does that feel right?
- Speaker #1
Wow. I had no idea that this session was going to go into music land. It feels really exciting to say these things out loud to another person. I haven't said this to many people. And good thing you're the only person that will listen to this. I'm sure you've had this feeling you totally have saying something that you want out loud it's vulnerable it gives it this extra added element of wanting it to happen and also making it happen you know putting words out into the world words into the universe i feel starts things in motion starts you in motion i feel like this is the start of something it
- Speaker #0
feels like the spark it feels like the inciting incident It's interesting you didn't think we'd talk about music when it's literally in the mezzanine of your shot.
- Speaker #1
I know. I know. I have so much for knowing myself. I would be someone that feels really connected to myself and what I want and who I am. And I do know that I wanted these things. I feel so out of touch with maybe that being a way that I would describe myself. I'm a musician or a singer-songwriter because it feels so out of left field right now. It wasn't even on the list.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. It feels true, though.
- Speaker #1
It does feel true.
- Speaker #0
So let's talk about visual art, painting. Okay. Tell me about painting. What does painting mean to you? What does it feel like? How does it feel in your body when you're painting?
- Speaker #1
I am connected with how good it feels to add just the right color that makes the painting go, oh, okay, now we're getting somewhere. I just feel very focused. I can get lost in it. It almost feels like a meditation where I'm instead of thinking about my breathing, I'm thinking about I don't even know what it is.
- Speaker #0
Well, maybe your anxiety or like I don't know if you struggle with that at all, but like you're spinning thoughts like it can't really be there as much because you have to be focused on what you're creating in the total picture. Literally.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it definitely keeps my thoughts at bay for sure. there's just something about spreading a really nice color on a canvas that just speaks right to my soul. I would call myself an intuitive painter. That's the only term that I've heard so far that I can relate with. That is where I'm at now. Who knows what my painting process will be in a few years, but I heard a great description for it yesterday was a conversation. It feels like a conversation. So I do something to the canvas. I observe it and take it in. And is it giving me that same kind of feeling I'm trying to portray? Not. quite so then I add this to it and then listen back to what I just did to it you know okay love and it evolves into something
- Speaker #0
So what I'm getting from you is painting is almost an expression of your spiritual self. It's a meditation for you. It's a communication between you and the art. You're really in communication with it in a way that it doesn't sound like any of these other things are. It's a spirituality. It feels like almost like God's coming through you through the paintbrush and you're painting based on you're in the flow. You're in the flow of life, in the flow of creativity. It sounds like a spiritual expression of self. Yeah, that sounds nice. And it sounds right. You know, when you hear a creative thought isn't our own, but we pick it up at the right time and decide to use it. Yeah. Have you heard that? Oh, yeah. And then if we don't pick up the idea or act on the creative thought, then it keep flowing. And all those ideas, I believe them, but I find them so abstract at the same time. Yeah. Speaking of painting. So that idea that you know, something is working through you. And when I hear people saying it, well, it's not me who wrote that song. I didn't write the song. It came through me from somewhere else. And I'm just the vessel that made it happen. Yeah. And I just find that thought so complicated and abstract. I can't tell what it would feel like to create something that wasn't mine. It wasn't my idea. Or maybe I have already, but I just don't know.
- Speaker #1
I'm not talking about like that because like, okay, yes, I love that. And you know what? truthfully i've probably said things like that in the past but my updated take i'm sure i've said things like like the song came through me because there are sometimes when a song like a song comes to me and it's just it's so fast i'm like that couldn't have just been me but like anything like okay i believe in god and i believe in science i believe god created science but science still exists and god still exists it's not an either or so like to say like we're just the vessel. Like, no. you still did the work. If you didn't do the work with this idea, the creativity would have flowed to someone else and someone else would have did the work. So you still created the thing. You still took on the mission. It still came through you and from you. But I believe that the idea can still come from the great beyond, but you're the one that's actually executing it. You have to like take these ideas and also ground them in reality. I get what you're saying about that but the way you described it it sounded like when you paint You're meditating visually.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
- Speaker #1
I know that painting is taking up more space in your life. The number I saw for this is 30 percent with a floating 10 percent that can go to any of the other ones, including painting, when you feel like it. And I'm seeing three different categories for these three different creative expressions that you're currently working with, which, by the way, more will probably come up because you're an extremely creative person and multi-talented. But at this moment, here's how I see it and tell me if this resonates. The comedy is something you do for joy and to tickle yourself. That's a joyful expression of self. The music is an expression of your deepest, most authentic self. That's an expression of true, deep authenticity and integration of self. So that's your most authentic, creative self. And the art is like an expression of creative spirituality. So it's like you expressing yourself in creative flow and meditation. So that's like your spiritual, most ethereal self. And that's how I see the three different creative personalities that you contain. And you contain so many other multitudes, but these are like the three ones we're talking about right now. And kind of, well, it's your whys and it's also what you're aiming to express when you're in each arena.
- Speaker #0
That feels really good. I could also imagine my three different outfits. How'd you get all those numbers to add up properly with the extra 10%? I don't know. Are you a math whiz?
- Speaker #1
I don't know. I just felt it. Like, I don't even know. I've never done this before with the numbers. It just started. Really? Yeah, this is the first time I've ever done that. Like, I just started seeing numbers. And by the way, like, this is actually a pretty cool method that we're co-creating right now. That could change any day. Like, one day you might feel like you're a 30% comedy. you know, 30% music, that's 60. Okay, 60. And then 40% art, you know, like, there's that floating 10%. But then there's also the right to change those percentages, just where you stand today, those numbers we went over feel really true. But I think you can think in that way and start knowing that all of those parts make up your creative whole. They're not these like different separate entities. They're all part of who you are.
- Speaker #0
Thank you. That's really cool. Your 40, 30, 20 method.
- Speaker #1
Plus the floating 10.
- Speaker #0
I feel like it ties in really nicely with this pressure that I definitely put on myself. And I think a lot of people do, where we try to define ourselves by one thing to say, oh, I am, what do you do? How do you spend your time? I am an blank. I am a this, I am a that. And saying one thing and also You know, there's some days where I feel like I beat myself up a little bit when I don't feel like doing something funny. I think, well. Caroline, what kind of comedian are you if you just feel like being quiet and painting? Like, I think you're a liar. You're not a, you know, those are what my critics are saying. So having this kind of idea that these three parts can fluctuate day by day, and just accepting the fact that it's okay that you're more one way than the other. Yeah. Some days. I feel like it ties in with that idea really nicely.
- Speaker #1
And I think the other thing to think about is Like, let's say you feel like you're 35% comedian one day. That is totally fine and right. As long as it's coming from that why of joy, right? If you're filling in that 15% with, I hope I get people's approval. I hope they like me. I hope that this does well. I mean, we're going to feel some of that. We're humans, right? We're humans who live in a capitalistic society. So like there's going to be some of us that feels like we need to prove or like show we're like good earners in the world. But... If a big part of why you're putting something out is coming from that place, it's not really going to feel fulfilling to you. So when you're incentivized to create something, I always want the main driver for comedy to be coming from joy. And so if it's going to take up more percentage, make sure it's a joy percentage, not a, oh, my God, I need to do this thing percentage.
- Speaker #0
That's great. It's definitely come from, oh, I have to do this, which no one's telling me I have to do it. It's good to remember.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I feel the same way you feel about music. It's like one of the greatest honors of my life to get to write a song. Like I never thought I'd get to write a song. And so the fact that I do, I just literally can't believe it. It's just such an honor and a privilege to get to write music. but sometimes I get in this little headspace I'm like oh I have to put out a music video because if if I don't put out music and I don't put out a video of me singing then what are people going to think and I'm not a real musician you know And that's when I stopped putting out music videos. Like I stopped putting out, and I'm not saying like music video, music videos, like videos of me singing a song. Because I can't get to a place of joy or self-expression. I'm just thinking about how will this be received or how will it not be received. And so I think nothing inhibits our creativity like doing it for some sort of outward approval.
- Speaker #0
I agree. I'm so glad that you feel such joy when you sing and have honed in on that. Yeah. How fabulous.
- Speaker #1
It is pretty fabulous. So we've got the whys figured out. Do you feel like that's true? You feel guided in that way? Okay.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
You wanted to talk about how you can let your audience get to know you and what you do.
- Speaker #0
I'm not sure how important that is necessarily. I guess through sharing these other parts of me through, you know, my upcoming music career. And through my painting, I find there's so many people, part of my audience who are just so wonderful and so supportive, who just know me for doing the side by sides and, you know, acting like a squirrel, which I love. And then now that I've been painting, I find a lot of people are saying, where did this come from? And now, oh, now you're writing a song? What the heck is this all about? And I think I feel a little bit insecure feels like too intense of a word. And it's not quite the word I'm looking for. But I have a negative connotation with always appearing to do something new and different because I've had so many jobs in my life and I'm always moving around to the next thing. But it wasn't until I found these, I guess, three categories where I'm really sticking to my guns and it's the longest I've stuck to anything. It's the smallest amount of money I've ever made. A part of me feels like I need to explain why I'm painting now. And I need to explain. that I'm now writing a song and that I'm funny some days. And I'm feeling this pressure to try to combine everything and make it make sense to everyone so that they understand who I am and what I'm all about. Does that matter? Or am I just saying those things? Because I want to know that about myself. That's probably what it comes down to.
- Speaker #1
I think that there's some really smart business parts of you that are functioning here when you're thinking about this. actually yeah and I think just also like you have loyal followers who really love you and believe in you and you want to bring them in on something it's about communicating and sharing with your community not being like oh I hope they accept me it's about like hey guys thank you so much for supporting me and I also want to tell you about this other thing I love side by sides love it I'm a comedian it's like the joy of my life but I also want to tell you about this other thing that I feel more like myself with than anything else I do. It's music. Right. You know, so it could be as simple as a post where, you know, people are like, allow me to introduce myself. If you don't know me, these are the things about me. It could be as simple as that. It could be you do like an Instagram or a TikTok live or both of you painting and being like, so I'm a comedian, but I also love visual art. It's like. a spiritual expression of self for me. It's very meditative. It allows me to honor myself as an introvert. And so I wanted to show you guys like how I paint. Like I'm going to take you from start to finish with this painting. It's going to be a quick one today. You know, so there's that method and you could do the same thing with a song or like sharing a song. There's another way you could do it where you have a character who is a painter or a character who's a songwriter to introduce the thought. And then in a subsequent post or maybe at the end of that post, you say, by the way, like this is a part of me that I'm going to be sharing more. So buckle in, buttercup. You're going to like it. Buckle up, buttercup. That's what I wanted to say.
- Speaker #0
Buckle up, buttercup.
- Speaker #1
And like you could do a couple of those and then you just start posting more or you could do what you're doing now, which is like you're just starting to post about painting and like people are going to accept it, you know?
- Speaker #0
I think. you know the thing about social media we just assume that people are paying attention to what we do and asking these questions but you know i'm sure a majority of people are just enjoying things that randomly come out and they're not like i wonder what this person's all about they're just taking it all in i think maybe we think that people are thinking about it more than they really are totally but
- Speaker #1
also bringing someone into your story makes people care because people will enjoy your stuff and like, oh, I'll give her a quick follow because she looks like she's fun and like she's going to entertain me. But when you bring someone into your story, that's what creates community. And that's what creates longevity of a fan base of any sort is when somebody feels like they are helping you build your career and they're part of something, you know, it's like I take such pride. So, you know, Billie Eilish, the singer. Now, I know it wasn't like... square one but I followed her when she only had 17,000 followers oh wow can I tell you she's got like a hundred million now or something like that but the pride I feel that like I was an early investor in her career through supporting her via social media something so small so cool it makes me feel like oh yeah like I know what I'm doing I have good taste and like I'm so proud to see how far she's come so like right why would someone not want to be that for you and if you bring them into Hey, I'm like doing this scary new thing that feels the most like me of anything I've ever done and it's music. I hope you'll enjoy coming on this creative journey of unleashing with me. That would make people feel honored, thrilled, inspired to maybe try something that they've been scared to try. To maybe give a go to something that they did in the past but they pushed aside because they thought I'm doing too many things so I can't do that. You know, every time we expand, we bring others into. their own expansion journey. There's a quote that Glennon often says, there's no such thing as one way liberation. So when you're freeing yourself to be who you really are, you're also freeing other people and talking about it and sharing it. You're also freeing other people to do that. Because when you unleash your inner creative, what you're really doing is unleashing your truest self.
- Speaker #0
Right. And how wonderful is it when you meet another person who's also trying something, being able to see another person as someone who's trying versus as someone. who is a professional. It feels like such a humble way to go about it and also just reminding everyone that we're all human and just trying stuff. It's nice to feel, yeah, it almost gives you permission to try something yourself. It totally is. Yeah, I appreciate that you said that because one thing that I really have been missing in terms of having an audience is finding a way to get to know each other more. I had my fringe show. in August. And one thing that I kind of missed about it was that there wasn't enough audience interaction for me. I wanted there to be more of that. It ended up more of a play. I wanted a bit more room. And this is something that I only knew until the show was wrapped. And that's something that I was feeling about my audience as well. I wanted there to be, instead of me just performing and doing jazz hands, I wanted there to be more of a two-way thing, which is why I thought to start Patreon. And that's another reason why all these questions have been coming up as well because you know, filling out a website like Patreon and putting into a few words what you're doing and what you're offering. It felt like whether or not you're going to use Patreon, it felt like a great exercise to get to know yourself and get to know creatively what the heck you're trying to do. It brought up all these questions as well as my psych appointments about being such an introvert.
- Speaker #1
I had a thought since you're talking about more community building and audience participation. What if you did some of these lives where you're either painting or maybe you're singing or maybe you're like putting together a character and you brought people up to talk about what they're trying to do in their lives that's scary for them? Like say, is there anyone out there who's like trying something new? Like, do you want to come up and talk about it and like share your experience? Or you could ask them. this could be a really cool thing. You could ask them to like share their story with it and then go off and either make a painting inspired by that story or a song inspired by it or a character inspired by it.
- Speaker #0
I did a live yesterday, actually. So you're saying all the things that I've been thinking about. And I was painting here for the day and I thought, I'll just do an Instagram live. So I set up my camera and I just painted. And I also ended up chatting quite a bit. I did that on Instagram and I felt nervous pressing the live button, but it was so great. Yeah. I felt like my performer side was lit up. I feel like my painting side was lit up and I really enjoyed connecting with people. Bang on.
- Speaker #1
People are wonderful. Like they really, for the most part, just want to see you make something awesome and be supportive and ask questions about it. And you have a captive audience. Like, do you know how many people would kill for a TikTok audience of... over a hundred thousand there's a lot you can do with that definitely bring them into this these new parts of you that you're going to be exploring creatively and yeah i think it's going to be a really beautiful thing like you could i was just thinking i'm productive yes I really love that. Love what you love.
- Speaker #0
Diet Coke. Get runway ready.
- Speaker #1
A chance to win the ultimate shopping experience plus hundreds of prizes curated by Kate Moss. Chroma packs in store 18 plus. T's and C's. Visit coke.co.uk slash break. What if you even did like, this is a weird thought, but like a duet with one of your own videos. I don't know if that's possible, but if not, you could edit it to be so. One of your most popular videos you do a duet with and you're... painting something based off of the characters you did or you're you write a song what's a thing called when you like start somebody else does it and then you respond like you hear the first few seconds of them and then you come in oh like a stitch I think is the word that's it so you do a stitch with one of your own videos and then you go in like maybe it's like there was a song in there and then you come in with the piano and start singing you know that's a way to build upon your own success. and your own audience and to like give another taste of what this comedic joyful expression is through your expression of musical authenticity or spiritual expression of South through painting.
- Speaker #0
That's a good idea. Even going through old videos and talking about the process of them. A few of them I made with my mom and we had so much fun and being able to talk about the costumes and the story behind making it. It's along with that same idea would be sweet. And yeah, a way to reuse content as well. We've all put so much time into certain things. It's social media is so fleeting. People will watch it and then it just disappears forever. So it's a nice way to bring back old stuff as well.
- Speaker #1
I remember you saying, was it the Handmaid's Tale video you made? You did it with your mom?
- Speaker #0
Handmaids and we had so much fun.
- Speaker #1
I would love to hear a voiceover of like, all the behind the scenes of that. So taking the Handmaid's Tale video and duetting yourself and being like, okay, my mom like got me running underneath a bridge and like, here's how we got, you know, that would be really interesting. That's a good idea.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Good one.
- Speaker #1
I had another thought. You should be making money off of your TikTok if you're not.
- Speaker #0
I don't know how to do that. Feel like there's got to be a way to make more money or make money off of. Like people make money on TikTok and I have no idea how.
- Speaker #1
So much money. I was looking at a girl last night who was like showing exactly how much money she made. She makes like $20,000 a month. What? Yeah. But she does lots of different things, but she actually spelled out all the things she does. So I'll see if I can find the video and send it to you.
- Speaker #0
Oh man, that's insane.
- Speaker #1
With 100,000 followers, you could definitely make money. You got to get some brand deals. And after that, you're going to be golden grams. Is there anything else you want to hit in this session? Like, do you have any lingering questions, anything you're thinking of?
- Speaker #0
No, this feels really good. I feel really inspired. I feel like I'm itching to sit down at the piano. I feel like I'm itching to get painting. I feel like I'm itching to talk to people. I feel really inspired to start putting these avenues to work. I wasn't expecting to walk out of this planning my music career. And I know, you know, having a music career, it's something that happens overnight. It is. So I look forward to this waking up in the morning and being a star.
- Speaker #1
It's going to happen.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, it's going to be really nice.
- Speaker #1
Here's something I do want to share and that I think is going to be. inspiring for you and also your followers and also the people listening to this podcast to hear but I believe in the art of being bad at something and what that means is when we're little and we're first learning things we don't have any skills at all so when we try something new and we suck at it we don't know we suck at it and we just keep trying it and the problem with being an adult trying something new or trying a new career or trying a new form of your creativity is we have this incredible skill set of so many things we can do. Also, we have really good taste. And so when we start writing something or creating something or trying something for the first time and we're not meeting our taste level or our skill level that we have in the other things that we've been doing for all these years, we often give up. But one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was when I started playing guitar and my friend said to me, just let yourself be bad for a year. And I was like, no, I'm going to be amazing. You know what? He was absolutely right. Sucked for the first year, but I was doing it. And then within the second year of playing, I was playing like House of Blues and Viper Room. But that was because I let myself be bad and I didn't give up when I sucked. And I was actually so joyful. I didn't even know I sucked at it. I was just so happy to finally be playing. So don't give up. Like just let yourself. Get to your taste level. You will get there, but let yourself go through the bumpy parts and also have the joy of beginner's mindset. You know, you have that and you're already a songwriter, so this isn't even really applicable advice for you. But it's really important to not forget to let yourself be a beginner. It's important and it's okay and you'll get past it, but you can't give up while you're a beginner.
- Speaker #0
Thank you. I've been practicing the art of consistency and I've been very inconsistent about it. No, it's consistency is key, I hear. And it's very tricky. So yeah, thank you for that. I also really appreciate that. Obviously, you have so much singer songwriter experience. And I've written six songs. And the fact that you called me a singer songwriter, when we have very different levels of experiences, it says a lot about you. And I really respect that. So thank you.
- Speaker #1
Well, Caroline, one time I was, you know, I'd written one song or one time I had written zero songs. Like I didn't write. my first full song until I was 23. Not to say that's so old, but like, I didn't know I was a musician until much later in life than a lot of other people. I knew as a singer, I didn't know I was a musician and a songwriter. So when people tell me like they can't write music, I'm like, are you sure though? Do you know? Because I would never want to exclude anyone from this joy that I feel and the joy that I know you feel and that you're going to feel even more when you let yourself live that 40%. But like from the minute you started talking about music two and a half years ago, I knew you were a musician.
- Speaker #0
Really?
- Speaker #1
Yeah. Because why else do I remember like an Elton John song? You said it to me once.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. That's amazing.
- Speaker #1
Because it was the way you lit up. I was like, oh, this is a piece of her.
- Speaker #0
You're so observant.
- Speaker #1
I mean, yeah.
- Speaker #0
I did love singing that song.
- Speaker #1
But it was also really apparent in the way you expressed it. But you are like when you do something, whether you've written one song or a thousand songs, you're a singer songwriter. Like if you do the thing, you are the thing.
- Speaker #0
Thank you. That's so nice. I was thinking about the phrase, give it 110%. I think the title of my book will be give it 40%, which is a hundred percent of what I should be giving it. It's the kind of math that I like. Yeah. Give it your whole 30%.
- Speaker #1
Well, you're still giving your creativity 100% though. And that's what's important because these things aren't separate. Just how like your brain can't function without your heart, right? Like would anyone be like, I don't need my heart, you know? And we all parts of the body need each other to function properly, right? And some things are more necessary than others, right? But no one would be like, all I need is my brain. You know, like we need the heart to live. Like if the heart doesn't beat, we don't live, you know. So for you, it's like your creativity is your body. And these percentages are like your different organs and organs.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
I mean, that's a weird way to look at it, but it's true.
- Speaker #0
Maybe I should get an organ to replace the keyboard.
- Speaker #1
The organ.
- Speaker #0
The organ. Yeah. Anyway, sorry to interrupt with that very poignant comment.
- Speaker #1
You're good. But like, I just think you are giving 100%. It's just you're giving. different percentages to the different parts that function as a unit of your creative soul.
- Speaker #0
Yes. Oh man, you're so good. I'll have to watch this back and take notes. Who am I?
- Speaker #1
You're Caroline effing Stokes,
- Speaker #0
baby. That's right. That's right.
- Speaker #1
Oh, Caroline, it's always a pleasure. I'm super excited for you to go on this journey and to hopefully hear your music soon. I can't wait. And in the meantime, enjoy your videos, your hilarious videos and your incredible paintings. And I'm so proud of you for embracing and integrating who you are.
- Speaker #0
Thank you for giving me so much time over the last two years. And I just remember the first time I was on your show and I was totally fangirling and I was so nervous. Oh, my goodness. And I overthought all of my answers for like four months. I was so nervous about everything I said. So thank you for taking me as a little baby. And she was an infant and she's an infant. Yeah. And then it helped me so much. And from your podcast, I just love it so much. And I'm always grateful to be on it. So thank you.
- Speaker #1
Well, grateful to have you on the show and to be part of your journey and to have you in the creative community. You are a wonderful human and a super, super multi-talented soul. So thank you. Always keep going. I believe in you.
- Speaker #0
Thank you. I believe in you too.
- Speaker #1
Thank you. Thank you for listening and thanks to my guest, Caroline Stokes. For more info on Caroline, follow her at IamCarolineStokes on TikTok and Instagram and subscribe to our YouTube channel by searching her name, Caroline Stokes. Thanks to Rachel Fulton for helping edit this episode of Unleashed. You can follow her at Rachel M. Fulton. Thanks to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also, tag the guests at IamCarolineStokes so she can share as well. My wish for you this week is that if you're a multi-passionate creative, you take time to think about what your percentages are. Just ask what they are today and be really honest with yourself, and then start making choices that are more in line with what those percentages reveal. I love you, and I believe in you. Talk with you next week. week.
