Speaker #0Hey, creative. Welcome to the podcast. I'm your host, Lauren. And today I want to drop in because I'm officially 39 weeks pregnant. I could pop at any time, honey buns. And I've been reflecting on my pregnancy a lot and what I've learned so far and what it's taught me about life and creativity and career and relationships. And actually, it's probably been one of the biggest teachers of my life so far. And I can only imagine motherhood will be even more. So today I wanted to pop in and share a little bit about the lessons I've learned and how they might be applicable to you. These are the top five lessons I've learned from pregnancy, but I actually think that they can be just true for any time in your life, any big change in your life. So shall we get to it? The top five lessons I've learned from pregnancy. Here we go. Okay, number one, this is something I talked about when I first announced my pregnancy on the podcast. But this is probably the top lesson I've learned from my fertility journey, if you can call it that, into my pregnancy now and even going into parenthood. You can pre-prepare, but do not pre-suffer. This is the greatest lesson I've learned. It came up because I was always worried I wasn't going to be fertile. I was going to have a hard time getting pregnant. And then I got pregnant the first try, but that's even like, you know, pushing it. It was basically the first time we didn't not try. And I had spent all this time pouring into research over, oh my gosh, what if I, you know, I'm not fertile? Like how long could it take? What are the different treatments I could do? And it just wasn't my story. And I wasted so much time worrying about it. When the truth is, every story is unique. And whether it's pregnancy, fertility, parenthood, or anything else, your dreams. The internet tends to share... the worst of the worst. And so much so that you can start to believe people's horror stories will become your own. And sometimes they could. That's when it's good to know what the possibilities are. But don't believe that will become your life because you have no proof of it. You have no proof that it will be hard. You have no proof that it will be easy. You have to stay present. I wasted so much precious time and energy on worry that I can never get back. And what I really want to do is prevent you from doing the same with whatever it is that you're currently pre-suffering over if you are. So going into birth and motherhood, I'm trying my best to learn all scenarios, learn what could happen, but not assume my life or my parenthood journey will automatically become one of the difficult ones. I'm staying open to ease and also learning what could happen. but not believing it will be mine until I have proof that it is or it isn't. So that is number one. You can pre-prepare, but do not pre-suffer. And that goes for every aspect of your life. And also realizing that the algorithm loves suffering. So don't engage with it. Go off of your own experience. And at the very least, go off the experiences of people you actually know. But really, most importantly, trust your own experience and stay present to your own experience. Okay. Number two, something we've talked about on the podcast a lot, motherhood and pregnancy can increase your ambition. So I had a feeling this would be true for me because as you know, on this podcast, I've interviewed hundreds of mothers at this point, and every single one that I've had on has had her greatest career and creative success post-child. So that finding blew the idea out of the water for me that you become pregnant, you have a baby, and your life and creativity ends. I knew at that point that, oh, motherhood is incredibly expansive. So when I went to start my business full time at six months pregnant, even though to the outside world, I'm sure it looked absolutely insane. It made so much sense to me. And I really believe there is something about bringing a new creative life into the world at the same time you're bringing a literal life into the world that is energetically correct. And just a little factoid to... you know, give some evidence or at least experience of what I have found so far. Within a month of leaving my corporate career and starting my business full time, I was already making more on a monthly rate than I did at my corporate job. So I'm excited to see what happens when I'm a mom and I have all that more drive. And I have actually truncated space and I have to be more efficient and more creative in order to get the things I want to get done, done. And here's another part of it going forward. Now we're looking a little ahead to motherhood, but I don't want to just tell my son he can do anything he wants to do. I want to show him. I want to prove to him with my life that he can pursue his dreams. Kids don't just treat themselves the way you treat them. They treat themselves the way they see you treat yourself. So it's really important to treat yourself with great respect, with dignity, with love, and with the same passion that you would encourage them to pursue their dreams, you encourage yourself to pursue your own and you go for it. Now, whether or not you get there, as we've talked about many times, you can't always control that. but you can control your effort. And for me, it's really important that my son sees me putting an effort to take chances on myself and to believe in myself and to pursue things that are of great importance to me. I just can't wait to show my son everything mommy can do. So he knows he can take a chance on himself too. And also to just show the world like being a mom and being a creative business owner, someone who's out in the world pursuing their dreams, go together beautifully. that ambition and drive and dreams come true can increase when you're pregnant and when you're a mom. And I think that the story of your ambition going down, your life ending is so old and just blatantly untrue. So yes, motherhood and pregnancy can increase your ambition. Okay, this is such an important one at any time in your life, but especially when you're pregnant. When you're pregnant, oh my gosh, you are like so intimately intertwined with the medical system. And you really have to learn how to advocate for yourself medically. So this is lesson number three, advocate for yourself medically. Doctors, while they're great, don't know everything. Doctors are humans too. So this really came up for me when I discovered a glaring inaccuracy in two ultrasound reports done four days apart. I flagged it to my doctor who misread it, who had missed this inaccuracy and got defensive and then refused to acknowledge my findings. Long story short, I'm going to get a little bit into the weeds here. But basically, I had what they call the anatomy scan, which is at 20 weeks, they do the scan to make sure everything's good and the baby's growing right and like your placenta and uterus look good. And they found everything to be totally fine. And this was done by perinatologists, which are the top, top doctors. So like they're the top doctors that read these kind of things. It was outside of my typical OBGYN appointment with a group of specialists. Four days later, I had to go into the hospital for an unrelated issue and they did another ultrasound. And the radiologist read what I found out was misread the report to say that I had something called partial placenta previa, which is where the placenta is covering your cervix. And that's a pretty serious condition. Four days prior, the absolute experts in the field had told me that my placenta was in a perfect position. And then four days later, this random radiologist at a hospital misread a report. And rather than my doctor seeing that discrepancy, she only read the most recent one. But then she didn't just misread it or like didn't note this discrepancy. She waited three days to tell me about this and wrote me a really alarming message in my MyChart. So anyway, I did my own detect. work. I was able to confirm my original understanding of the reports. I called USC and they're like, yeah, you don't have placenta previa. Your placenta is in a perfect position. I don't know what they're talking about. And confronted my doctor and she basically denied everything and got really defensive. So when you as a theater major have more medical expertise than the doctor you're seeing, you know that there's a problem. I'm the theater major here. And after that, I just did not feel safe. And I was like, I was literally afraid she was going to kill me. if I'm going to be really honest. So I switched doctors at 25 weeks pregnant. It was not easy, but so far it has made all the difference. By the way, even when you trust your doctors, which I have great doctors now, but you don't have to take what they say at face value. I would say, you know, take their advice. They are the expert, but always trust your own intuition and do your own research. Look for evidence. based facts to support the suggestions they're making, especially if there's something in your gut that's saying, I don't know about that. Doctors, as I mentioned, are humans too, with biases, and they're not infallible. And especially when you're pregnant, or when it's something to do with your own body, vital parts of your own body, you really can and should trust your intuition. Use this technique I've taught you on the show before. Does it feel expansive? Like, okay, yes, this is true. Or do you feel like you're contracting when they tell you this information or they give you that recommendation? To me, no one knows what's better for you than you. No one knows what's better for your baby than you. Do your own research, speak up, and at least ask questions. You don't just have to take everything at face value. But yeah. It was quite a situation. It made my March or no, it was April that that happened. Really miserable. And I'm so glad I switched doctors. Also, if you are ever pregnant, do not be afraid to switch doctors even deep into the process. I can't even tell you how much better my pregnancy has gotten since I've switched over to the group I'm with now and how much safer I feel. So do it. Advocate for yourself medically. Okay, next. Embrace surrender. Oh God, this one's hard. I think I realized through the pregnancy how much I've loved trying to control or like having the illusion of control in my life. And I think the thing is, with most other things, you can kind of like convince yourself you do have control, even though we kind of never really do, at least not fully. But what pregnancy has made clear is I've never had less control. And I just have to surrender to it. Between the first trimester where I was sick, I had evening sickness. And I just had to really learn to rest and listen to my body to now where my baby could come at any time. And I just have to like, let it happen to who he'll be. All I can do is just surrender and believe that I have the capacity to handle everything that is heading my way and to stay present with it. And on a more spiritual level, that my soul actually chose these lessons to grow. Letting go is so hard for me. Like having some semblance of control. Like I said, it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel prepared. I love feeling prepared. But I have a feeling motherhood is about to be a huge spiritual and self-development journey. And surrender is going to be a huge part of that lesson. And hopefully it will make me a better artist too, you know, better creative. I think so much of my creative career that has been hard has been the part where I've been asking why and trying to control it and trying to like... Put it in a box and creativity cannot be contained, just like a child cannot be contained. You know, you can give it boundaries, but you really can't contain the creative process. It is what it is. And I think being pregnant and parenting is probably a huge example of that. So embrace surrender. It's very important. And finally, my fifth lesson is protect your energy. Now, this is always important, but it never becomes more apparent. than when you become a parent. Even though I'm not fully a parent yet, you know, just being pregnant has even made it clear. There are people who I love deeply, who I've realized I can't engage the way I used to with. I need that energy that they require to focus on my baby, my business, my family, and my overall well-being. Some people, even when you love them, even when you do enjoy them. They take more from you than they give to you. And you have to be really conscious of those energy exchanges when you're doing anything big in your life, whether that's parenting, a project, a move. You have to protect your ability to show up for what is calling you most ardently. I don't even know if that made sense, but I think it did. Blame my pregnancy brain. So. Yeah, if there are people who you're consistently pouring more into than they're pouring into you, definitely this phase, pregnancy and parenthood, will reveal that. I've been surprised. Oh my god, moms are the most amazing people on earth, by the way. But I've been surprised at how much relative strangers or friendly acquaintances have been there for me and how some people who I've been really close to throughout the course of my life haven't. Even people who are parents and have kids. Again, I realize everyone's on their own journey. I'm sure I'm going to disappoint a lot of people throughout this. And I hate that. But I also have to focus on creating this life and creating my family and learning how to be a mom. And so I just have to live with that. And I'm not used to that yet. But I also, I know that that's part of it. And I think that's part of the spiritual lesson too. And for the people that, you know, haven't been there, it's all okay. And I know... friendships, relationships ebb and flow, but it's important for any major life transition to notice the people around you. Are they showing up, if at all? And if and when they do, how do they make you feel? Do they make you feel energized or drained? I'm starting to realize parenthood, like any major milestone, reveals a lot about your relationships, and I'm continuing to keep an eye on that postpartum into parenthood. and beyond and just in my life in general, because I know there's just less time to be around anyone who isn't additive. And I want to make sure I'm really additive for people too. It's a two way street. There's one more thing that I realized I forgot to add to this. And this is going to be a bit controversial. So hopefully it doesn't offend you. But if it does, just know it's just my opinion and my spiritual take. But after conceiving and growing a life inside me and getting ready to push it out, I'm like, the biggest scam in the world is that they made us believe that God was a man. Now, I don't believe God is a woman either. I believe God is genderless. God is beyond gender. However, if God was to have a gender, why on earth would it have been a man? Women are literally the ones that do the most creative act on earth, which is grow a life and push it out into the universe. And wow, what a scam. They couldn't even come up with a better lie than that. That's wild. It's made me an absolute utter awe of women and the power we have. And like, I really believe the reason that they have tried to suppress us so much over these years is because we're so immensely powerful. I mean, just the way we break our bodies open to keep the human race going out of sheer love and devotion and creativity and power, and the way women show up for each other. through pregnancy and into parenthood, the way moms drop everything to help another mom, like it gives me chills. It brings tears to my eyes. If you listening are a mom, I'm so honored to get to join this sisterhood and lineage. And one of the, I've been doing all these like pre-pregnancy or pre-delivery stretches and workouts on this birth ball. I mean, honestly, even if you're not pregnant, highly recommend getting a birth ball. It feels so good on your body. But I've been doing these and one of them had affirmations and it just said this thing that honestly is like giving me peace of my heart as I go into my delivery. And it said, there are thousands of women all over the world who are birthing with you right now. You're not alone. I'm just honored to be a woman and to have incarnated in this time while it does have its challenges where we are all coming awake to our own power. And Yes, there's forces in the world, in our government, that are trying to make us crawl into a hole and not see that incredible power we hold. But I have never felt more powerful, more excited to be alive, more capable than I have felt while I've been pregnant and as I'm about to go into motherhood. And just know, if you have a child or you're thinking of having a child, you can do anything. You've already done the most creative act on earth. Why wouldn't you be able to start a business? Why wouldn't you be able to start a podcast? Why wouldn't you be able to go out there and pursue your dreams? You've literally broken yourself open to bring life to this world. So yeah, I'm just in awe of mothers. I'm in awe of the divinity of mothers. And it's made me feel closer to God. It's made me feel closer to humanity. And I'm really honored to get to become one of you. That's where I'm at right now. You can probably hear that I can barely breathe because my little boy is just pushing up against all of my organs and cutting off my ability to breathe, but it's all worth it. You know, I keep thinking about how he's crowded in there too. Like as crowded as I feel, you know, he started out so small. He moved into a penthouse suite and now he's got like a studio apartment or a bachelor. So I feel for him as well. But yeah, It's definitely a time that's hard to breathe. But it's so exciting. And I'm honored to be here with you. I love you. I appreciate you listening. And thank you for stopping by to hear my top five takeaways so far from pregnancy and going into parenthood and come back next week. We'll have another great episode. I love you. And I believe in you. Talk soon.
