Speaker #0Two people asked me the exact same question within only 24 hours. The first one was Laya, my Ashtanga yoga teacher here in Goa in India. The second one was Ilona, a friend I met more than 10 years ago in Costa Rica and randomly reconnected with her in India. And both of them asked me, but Ilona, how did you become a therapist? when you study economics and business management. And the truth is, I never consciously decided to become a therapist. Welcome to Cosmic Flowers podcast, the podcast for women's empowerment. I'm Hélène, a modern day fairy, healing soul, coach and therapist, guiding you to release childhood trauma and create heart-led projects. Through this podcast, my intention is to help you reclaim your personal power, embrace your vulnerability and reconnect with your gifts so you can fall deeply in love with yourself and become who you truly are. So take a breath and get ready to radiate your inner sun. Hello my cosmic flowers. So the French version of this episode was originally recorded in March 2026 while I was in Goa in India. And at that time, after being deported from Bali in December 2025, it had been really difficult for me to come back to the mic. But while I was in Goa, something slowly started opening again inside of me. I could feel creativity returning. I could feel this desire to speak again. So I really felt... this creative energy moving through me and I simply wanted to ride that wave. So here is the episode. Let's go. When Laia and Ilona asked me this question, I realized something important. I never consciously planned to become a therapist and a coach. I never woke up one day thinking this is going to be my job. Looking back, it feels more like life gently guiding me toward this path. And the best way to explain it is through the image of a cake. Imagine wanting to bake a cake without having the right ingredients. It becomes complicated. You can have the best recipe in the world, but it still won't work. And honestly, when I look back now, I feel like life gave me the ingredients one by one through many different experiences from childhood until today. I'm 33 years old now and at the time I had absolutely no idea that I was slowly creating my soul a line career. I did not Understand that I was already developing my expertise as a therapist. Of course, some experiences were beautiful and others were deeply painful. That's the duality of life. But today, I can see that everything, absolutely everything, was part of my path. Part of my... becoming. One of the very first ingredients of my journey was my childhood. I grew up in a family where there was love but also a lot of trauma and dysfunction. My father Raouf is Egyptian and Coptic Orthodox. The Coptic community is actually the oldest christian community in the world my father was born in tanta in egypt and grew up in ismailia he comes from a family of nine children everyone lived in the same room no privacy he lost his twin brother when he was only a few months old a huge trauma and having to share you his mother's attention between nine children meant receiving very little emotional attention himself. At 25 years old, my father moved to Paris. He had attended a French school in Egypt and he already spoke French. And he worked as a pizza yellow in Paris. My mother, Evelyne, is French-Algerian, but at that time she didn't know it yet. She believed she was French-Ukrainian. Her mother was French and the man who raised her was Ukrainian. She was born in Roubaix, in the north of France. Her mother struggled with depression and abandoned her when she was only 13 years old. Another huge trauma. She grew up with her adoptive father who worked in a factory and had really had really little money. The family was extremely poor. There was not enough money to heat the house and there was no shower. Then at 40 years old my mother discovered that the Ukrainian man who raised her was actually her adoptive father and that her biological father was Algerian. She never met him. Another deep trauma. At 20 years old, she moved to Paris where she worked in a bakery and pastry shop. And that's where she met my father, in Paris. My sister and I grew up in a family with a lot of dysfunction. And honestly, like in many families, there are simply different levels to it. The emotional climate I grew up in, through my little girl's eyes, was a climate of insecurity. There was a lot of screaming, a lot of insults, a lot of verbal violence, sometimes physical violence too, day and night. And day and night, I was afraid. That's when I developed what we call hypervigilance. When a child grows up in an environment filled with fear, the nervous system learns to stay constantly alert. It learns to scan everything, to analyze everything. Hypervigilance is actually a survival mechanism. The nervous system learns to constantly monitor is emotional signals, detect tension, anticipate conflict. That's why children in these environments become incredibly skilled at reading the energy of a room, sensing emotions, detecting unspoken tension. They instinctively know what to say, what to do to calm things down, to you De-escalate situations because maintaining peace becomes a way to feel safe and because the child's attention is constantly focused outwards on adults, their emotions, their reactions, the child never really learns to turn inwards. So they become very good at reading others but much less capable of reading themselves. For a very long time, I didn't have the words to explain what I had lived through. But today, I understand that these experiences also gave me something precious. Because of this hypervigilance, I developed a very intuitive emotional intelligence. Reading emotions. Reading what remains unspoken, feeling what's happening inside others became almost natural for me. The women I work with often tell me, Hélène, you read me like an open book. And looking back now, I understand that this hyper-vigilance, despite myself, became one of my superpowers as a therapist. But there is also another side of this story. Because chaos was constant, there wasn't really space for my own emotions or my own needs. So, unconsciously, I learned to disconnect from myself while becoming deeply connected to everyone else. I knew exactly what to say, what to do. how to behave, to reduce tension, restore harmony and calm conflict. And later in this episode, you will understand where this disconnection from myself eventually led me. There is something else that deeply shaped my childhood. Animals. My mother used to rescue abandoned and abused animals. And very early on, I developed a very special relationship with them. Honestly, I would even call it sacred. Animals carry something incredibly pure. They don't manipulate. They don't wear masks. They welcome us exactly as we are. And when I was younger, while humans often disappointed, or hurt me, animals became a refuge, a deeply soothing presence. Their purity became a lifeline for me. They brought me a profound sense of safety. And I truly believe that this sensitivity towards animals nourished part of my path. But at that time, I obviously had no idea that all of this was slowly leading me toward therapy. Back then, I really thought I was following a completely different path. When I was 20 years old, I was given a huge opportunity. Thanks to my grades at Paris Nanterre University, I was selected for an Erasmus program and I received a scholarship. So I moved to Spain, to Madrid. At first, it was only supposed to last six months. But honestly, I did everything, absolutely everything to stay longer. And somehow, I managed to extend it for another six months. And then again for another year. So, in the end, I stayed there for two full years. The first year was dedicated to university classes. In the second year, I completed an internship in human resources. All my classes were in Spanish, even though I had chosen a few subjects in English. And eventually, I managed to get an internship in human resources. Honestly, it was not easy, but I was determined. And today, I feel truly proud. of that version of myself. But most importantly, something very significant happened to me there. For the very first time in my life, I was far away from my family background, from the emotional climate I grew up with. And I started noticing something very simple, yet deeply revealing. When I woke up, In the morning in Madrid, I felt joy. I didn't feel oppressed. I didn't feel depressed. And suddenly, I understood something essential. Sometimes, we are not the problem. Sometimes, the environment we evolve in is the problem. And this realization became a major turning point for me. After that, my life you continued in a very conventional direction, a direction that on paper looked like success. After those two years in Spain, I returned to France to finish my studies. I decided to complete a master's degree in human resources at CIFOP in Paris, which also allowed me to be in a co-op program, what we call a work placement. And that's when I got hired by Microsoft. On paper, it was an incredible opportunity. And on top of that, my role was focused on workplace well-being. So it genuinely aligned with my values and interests. I even had the opportunity to organize a large wellness event completely from A to Z for Microsoft employees. as they sometimes call themselves Microsofties. I selected therapists, conflict resolution practitioners, yoga teachers, massage therapists. It was honestly a beautiful project and had total creative freedom. So truly, from the outside, everything looked perfect. But very quickly, I realized... that the corporate world did not resonate with me at all. Like, not at all. The coffee breaks where people talk behind each other's backs, the competitive dynamics, the subtle daily cruelty, and me. With my deep sensitivity, I remember thinking, where am I? What is this place? And one day, one of my colleagues Evan told me, Hélène, you are too naive. You still have too much innocence inside of you. You are not made for this world. At the time, it was said in a slightly mocking way. But honestly, looking back now, he was completely right. I also remember having a very strong thought during that period. I was only 23 years old and I thought, If This is life, I'm not going to survive it. I truly felt trapped inside a golden prison. From the outside, everything looked perfect. A prestigious company, a beautiful career path, a life that made sense to many people around me. But internally, something was deeply wrong. I felt empty. I felt sad and that's when I realized something important. I could not continue on that path. And from that moment, my life slowly started taking a completely different direction. A direction I never expected. But that story, I will share with you in the next episode. And before we say goodbye, I have a small request for you. If you listened until the end of this episode, it probably means that something in it touched you, inspired you or resonated in you. So today I simply want to ask you to support my work. I truly put my whole heart into this podcast and your feedback gives me so much energy to continue creating these episodes. Supporting me is easy. You can share this episode with someone around you. You can leave me five shining stars on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. You can also send me a private message on Instagram. I genuinely love hearing how you experience this episode, what emotions came up for you and where you recognize yourself inside my story. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this podcast and would like to support me and help spread my message, feel free to subscribe. Give me five glowing stars on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and a sweet little love note. I read all of them, you know. You can also tag me on Instagram at cosmic.flowers. I'm sending you a lot of love and sunshine.
