- Speaker #0
Beep-a-boop-a-beep-boop. Boop-a-doop-boop. Boop-boop.
- Speaker #1
Ho, ho, ho, and House of Gossip, cheer to one and all this festive December. Ha, ha,
- Speaker #0
ha.
- Speaker #1
Sorry, I just made myself laugh. I'm so glad this is going well.
- Speaker #0
That was really good.
- Speaker #1
That was really good.
- Speaker #0
Santa's in the house.
- Speaker #1
Who's in the house? Santa's in the house. I've got Santa here, a.k.a. Clara Kavner.
- Speaker #0
That's very funny.
- Speaker #1
And Sophie Lyons for your weekly dose of pop culture nourishment with a festive cheer today.
- Speaker #0
Frosting.
- Speaker #1
A bit of frosting.
- Speaker #0
Am I Mrs. Claus?
- Speaker #1
You're in red, so yeah.
- Speaker #0
Okay.
- Speaker #1
I'm in black because I'm covered in coal for the naughty boys and girls. Oh. Oh God, I wasn't feeling delirious until now.
- Speaker #0
I feel very giggly. No, it's great. Christmas episode special. We're not doing any festive theme. Actually, one of them has a festive theme to it, which I'm really excited to talk about.
- Speaker #1
Oh, yes.
- Speaker #0
Super excited to kick it off with you, Gazzer. Let's kick it off. Shador, it's your test. What are you loving or hating?
- Speaker #1
My love and hate is Je Teste Comme Je D'Or. I kind of went on a bit of a journey. I had such a shit week last week, I can't even list them all. One was I got scammed, but luckily they didn't take any money. Second was we had a neighbour knock in at like nine o'clock at night going, there is water dripping from my light bulb. Basically, the builder caused a big leak and... for this old maiden, like, rusty pipe. So just, like, all these, like, logistical issues. Mercury was in retrograde, so that was the culprit behind all the problems. Like, you know, just nothing was going right. It was just, like, blow after blow. I felt like, you know, that movie, Leonardo DiCaprio movie, One Battle After Another, it just, last week, just had that energy. It was like, how much more can go wrong for not wanting to take up the whole podcast with all my woes? But, like, there was just, like, one. One thing after the next. How I came full circle on it all was some Black Friday retail therapy. Go on. I'm not a Black Friday girly.
- Speaker #0
I'm not either.
- Speaker #1
It hits me at the wrong time every year. But then this year, I ordered from Beauty Pie, got like so much stuff for so little. It's arriving today. I can't wait. I got bits and cots. We got a Black Friday hotel deal. And I've never experienced retail therapy like it. And it's just really lifted me up. and I just didn't think I'd be such commercial capitalistic early.
- Speaker #0
Oh, sometimes that's the only fix.
- Speaker #1
It's just cheered me up no end.
- Speaker #0
That or a baked good. I think any major issues are only solved immediately somewhat superficially by buying something or having a brownie.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, which is kind of retail therapy because you're buying the sweet treat.
- Speaker #0
Of course it is. It's a term for a reason.
- Speaker #1
And then another little perk to my life amidst the shit is early morning walks, especially in this winter sun at the moment where we don't get much daylight. This is from my life all time guru, God, that is Liz Earle, you know, of the skincare fame.
- Speaker #0
Of course, she gave me some scalp.
- Speaker #1
Yes. If you want like a really knowledgeable mum to tell you all about health, beauty, wellness, she is your girly. She doesn't own the skincare anymore, but they kept the same recipe. So don't worry, the cleansers are still just good. But she's now talking all at the moment about how great it is to get out for an early morning walk or just even go in your garden. But it's a bit too cold. It's best to be moving. But just 10 minutes in the morning, no sun cream from when you wake up. So when you wake up, just get out the door. Like if you're commuting, that's fine. You're doing it. But if you're working from home, just like do a lap of the block. You don't need to go on a big walk. You're busy girlies doing your work. but she basically says like we're plants and we need the sun to grow it's resets your circadian rhythm you get the rays in your eyeballs the sun's rays and it's just great for like overall happiness well-being i like fall asleep and go to 10 p.m that never happens to me yeah you're a you're a night owl i'm such a night owl and now like i'm like now it's only on the days i do it so i really notice the difference so i encourage you i implore you all oh naggy so that's My full circle, my week went from to test to J'adore via a few little tweaks and I just needed to share the word of
- Speaker #0
Liz. I'm delighted it ended that way.
- Speaker #1
Thank you, yeah.
- Speaker #0
There's nothing worse when life's hitting you in the face.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
And you can't get out of it.
- Speaker #1
You just can't. And then you're like,
- Speaker #0
ah, life is terrible.
- Speaker #1
It's just one thing. And then especially with leaks, because my mum, I always remember my mum said like, water is worse than almost worse than fire because you can't see it you don't and the damage that it does can be like mold it's all hidden in the concretes it's everywhere obviously if you have like a massive fire and it burns down your house i'm not talking about that but like at least you can see the damage with the water it's like a silent yeah so we're just hoping that our sweet neighbor downstairs just um it just everything dries i mean also petition to marry a plumber.
- Speaker #0
oh tradies get the ladies trade i had i did i tell you there was a really hot boiler guy in here.
- Speaker #1
What was that?
- Speaker #0
He was so hot.
- Speaker #1
The irony that he's a boiler. Boiler.
- Speaker #0
He came in and I was like, I was getting ready for work. So I was in a semi-sexy outfit. Like it was like leather and stuff. Appropriate though, for work.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. It was like bonding.
- Speaker #0
But then I didn't have my makeup on. But these guys that come in are never like, I'm never like, oh my God. And he came in and I was like, oh. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I fully, whoa. The tradie, the cargo pants, they're like navy. They've loads of pockets. And then he was Greek Cypriot from North London. We had a chat. Oh. The age gap was shocking though.
- Speaker #1
Oh no.
- Speaker #0
Because you know the way the tradies really do come across a lot older than they are.
- Speaker #1
They do.
- Speaker #0
I thought he was my age. He was not.
- Speaker #1
I think because they work from 16. So they're more hardened by the real world.
- Speaker #0
A hundred percent. But he was like, oh, yeah, I end up doing everything in my house. And I knew he meant his mom's house.
- Speaker #1
Sorry. No disrespect. No disrespect.
- Speaker #0
And he was like, oh, God, I think this boiler is older than me. And I was like, what age are you? And he was like, 20. And I was like, you're 20. Like he appeared my age. Anyway, we had a nice flirt. So it was nice to start my day off. But
- Speaker #1
ladies get with the tradie yeah it's true they get the ladies and they don't have any student loans you know they're cash heavy but like they made the good financial choice they were like you know in the UK they all have like they're saddled with this like American style debt these tradies just are doing like mad jobs we had a plumber around and he was like I could have charged you a grand for this No, he didn't. He was sound, but yeah.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, if you're doing it more in the business as opposed to the residential.
- Speaker #1
Skyrocketing. Yeah. And now before we get into your story, just a sweet little shout out to Ciara who got in touch. Last week we talked about Andrea Mara and her books and I actually got a few messages about people being like, oh my God, she's amazing, blah, blah.
- Speaker #0
Andrea Mara.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, her writing is just so thrilling. And Ciara sent me on a recco for Hide and Seek. So that's next on my list. It sounds thrilling.
- Speaker #0
Have you finished the last one?
- Speaker #1
No, I'm actually sad it's finishing. So now I've slowed, I've chugged back to my regular pace because I don't want it to be over.
- Speaker #0
I do that with power on Netflix.
- Speaker #1
But now that I have Hide and Seek on the way, I might scurry along and finish this and get Hide and Seek on my Christmas, my Santa list. But thank you, Ciara.
- Speaker #0
Thank you, Ciara. Can I read that one in any type of mind frame?
- Speaker #1
The know and saw thing.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
it'll take you out of your day to day. Like it's like about a miss. It's a bit like a Madeline McCann kind of story, like a little child.
- Speaker #0
So it's not a holiday read.
- Speaker #1
You'd zip along. It's very, it's very pacey. Like every, basically every, at the end of every chapter, there's like a cliffhanger. So it keeps you, it's a good, I think it's a good pull side. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Okay.
- Speaker #1
It's a very like all her fault.
- Speaker #0
I was like, let's watch all her fault to James, who I live with. And then he was like, what's it about? And I was like, a missing child. And he was like, you can watch that by yourself. And he watches such garbage. The stuff he watches is so depressing. Someone's always dying of an illness. And, you know, star-crossed lovers, they never end up together. Someone's child is passing away. Really awful stuff. And I was like, that's where your limit is. So I have to wait till I have my own time to watch it.
- Speaker #1
Oh, that's so hard waiting for TV time. All our fault we watched an episode last night. I think the tourism board for Chicago must have sponsored this TV show because they make Chicago look incredible. Now, no doubt, never been, but it looks like a beautiful city.
- Speaker #0
It is a fab city.
- Speaker #1
But they have, you know, all this like wealth porn and like all the interiors are amazing, blah, blah, blah. Like there's one couple in it. The dad's a teacher and the mum works in a publishing house. And they live in possibly the most beautiful house I've ever seen. And it's just like, how are you affording this?
- Speaker #0
Like the Friends Complex.
- Speaker #1
Exactly. And like the police station is like CSI Miami. Like there's screens everywhere. It's like so high tech. I was like, I really, with all the love in my heart I have for the windy city of Chicago. I was like, I do not think they have this.
- Speaker #0
CGI for the police.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I just don't think this level of wealth is in the police Chicago.
- Speaker #0
I like when stuff isn't realistic.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. Like, sorry, don't get me wrong, it's lovely to look at, but like, it's just, it takes you out of it. And then there's one newspaper that somebody's reading because it's like, obviously hits the tabloids that this kid has gone missing. And this person is reading from, and we should have taken inspo from this for our name of our podcast. But the newspaper is called The Gossip Goldmine.
- Speaker #0
Oh, that could be a nice feature, like a segment.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, and it's like. Just call it like the Daily News or something generic.
- Speaker #0
The something Gazette. Yeah. I like the word Gazette.
- Speaker #1
Gazette's cute. Anyway, enough about missing children. Sorry, that's so offensive. Sorry.
- Speaker #0
You can't sleep that.
- Speaker #1
Oh, I'm so sorry. That's very funny. Okay, okay. I'm so sorry.
- Speaker #0
That's very funny. I wasn't thinking of that. Amazing moments.
- Speaker #1
Slipping off.
- Speaker #0
Don't we? Don't we not? oh very funny dear i'm so sorry no worries moving on mine is a jade door grace so I've told you about my daily swims in my glamorous gym. Yes. But I have an all club membership and there's one in Canary Wharf. And I've been, I went to it for like the first time, I think a few weeks ago. Actually, coming on to the next point when we're talking about avoiding exes. Oh, yeah. We're going to be talking about. My ex was a member there. So like, that's probably what was, I was kind of steering clear. However, I've told, because he's a cheapskate, he... has left so fuck you anyway sorry so i went into it how have we been sleeping on canary wharf whoa the talent in this gym yeah is mind-blowing okay the one i go to normally in highbury nissen the talent they're like it's glam etc there's so many hot men in canary wharf really good jobs
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
And like appear to be single. I just had like a tete-a-tete with one last night.
- Speaker #1
Oh.
- Speaker #0
On the couch because there's like co-working spaces.
- Speaker #1
Okay.
- Speaker #0
I think I could find my husband there. So ladies.
- Speaker #1
You're very good at meeting people IRL.
- Speaker #0
Thank you. That is my strength.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Online is not and it doesn't suit me. I think I could meet my husband there. I was about to change to just a one club membership and then I've gone there three times and I'm like, no, no, I'll pay the extra money because this could be my meal ticket. yeah and like lots of men in suits you know it's like a big they're all in suits really hot obviously you have like a nice education situation going on good jobs care about themselves because they're going to a nice gym and then all the stuff that goes along with it so like you know you have the same fundamentals of like i'll spend 10 pounds on a protein shake sure you're meeting them wear their ass you're going to the valve and you're shooting because my fault Correct, because my previous mistake was I wasn't meeting them where they were at. I was here and they were all the way over there and we couldn't meet.
- Speaker #1
Or like if you want to meet a rugby player, you're not going to find them in Dalston, put it that way. You need to go to like Chiswick or Chiswick or you need to go to Ealing. You need to go.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, barf. I'm telling you ladies, don't sleep on Canary Wharf.
- Speaker #1
See you there,
- Speaker #0
queens. Even the looks I was getting were hotter. The Highbury Lisington one is quite hot. It is ish. But this one, there's something explosive in the Canary Wharf one.
- Speaker #1
Interesting. I suppose they're like fresh out of work. You know, they've been doing business all day.
- Speaker #0
Suits. Like maybe the Highbury Lisington is a bit more family. Like there is still hot men, but it was like a pig pen of hot men.
- Speaker #1
Pig pen of hot men.
- Speaker #0
Like when I was sitting next to the one guy, I was like. oh my god are you my husband is it over there like there were so many and then coming out of the lift another hot one came out and i was like you appear to be single ladies don't sleep on canary wharf yeah even if he's no business go out and hang out there that
- Speaker #1
is great because you do never hear that about canary wharf it is a bit of a like ifsc of london you know it's like oh i am like canary wharf and now i'm like oh it's like clean
- Speaker #0
It's so modern. You feel like you're in New York anyway, like when you're around that area. Because like tall scale buildings, it's super clean. No one really lives there. So like it's not, not gangy, but it's not, it's just pretty level. And like they have all the nice bits.
- Speaker #1
There you go.
- Speaker #0
Ladies, I'm telling you.
- Speaker #1
I always remember hearing when I first moved to London from another Sophie, she had great advice and she said, dating is just like a numbers game. And you know, yeah, but like, You also have to be in the right places. So yes, you can go on 100 dates and you could meet, like be them online or IRL. You could meet your man behind date number two, but it also could be behind date number 99. It's the encyclopedia salesman thing. But like, you have to be in it to win it. Like you also have to be in the places, you know, for it to happen.
- Speaker #0
My friend said this to me last night about the numbers game because someone said it to her.
- Speaker #1
Luck and timing.
- Speaker #0
She's married, so. It's just different. Anyway, she was like, anyway, she was saying it's all a numbers game. And I'm like, it's all a numbers game when it has to be a numbers game. It's only a numbers game to the girls who have to do that, who have to churn through loads of shit. Some people meet their husbands when they're 19. Yes, it's a numbers game, but only to the ones who have to enter a numbers game. Am I a philosopher?
- Speaker #1
I also totally appreciate that. Like, you know, dating is exhausting. And when you go on a few bad dates, you have to retreat for a while and then go back into the dating game. So there is like a bit of a like, you know, when you go on a few bad dates, you're like, I just couldn't be arsed doing this. So I fully appreciate there's that as well. And it does take a certain like resilience to keep going.
- Speaker #0
Or if you want to just completely settle, go for it, ladies.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Not I.
- Speaker #1
no we shouldn't settle a lot of women do
- Speaker #0
I know but I don't think we should because they're like oh you know what I've been with him for X amount of years what dating looks like from the outside looks positively terrifying yeah and I do not have that in me which fair enough I get it but then is your soul happy but it's only a numbers game when you have to approach it like a numbers game yes I'm telling you ladies Canary Wharf I'm not an online dating girl. Never have been. I don't think I ever will. But I don't like closing that door because apparently that's unhealthy. So I'll never say never. But I'm just an in real life girl. And I think it's Canary Wharf.
- Speaker #1
I love that. And it's nice when it's not like a big night out situation. It's nice to have like sober meat kids.
- Speaker #0
I'm like, you care about the gym. You pay a high fee.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
You buy the 10 pound protein shake.
- Speaker #1
Let's go on a date.
- Speaker #0
And you're probably shopping in Waitrose. Not that I shop on Waitrose. But I'm just saying those approach to things are similar. What a great way to meet someone.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
I don't bench press, but I'm like, do I go hang out in the bench press there? Yeah. Yeah. Or do one of those really masculine dumbbell things.
- Speaker #1
Oh, yeah. I always feel, though, like intimidating gyms where the weightlifting section is so male dominated. Well, you can go around and just act kind of clueless and then men come up to you and play them at their own game.
- Speaker #0
Do you know where the water fountain is?
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
That's more what I would do. If someone came up and was like, can I help you? I'd be like, oh my God, leave me alone.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
- Speaker #0
God, that was really thrilling. Anyway, sorry. Moving on. Now, we spoke about Roisin. We spoke about Roisin last week about dating, didn't we?
- Speaker #1
She had a justification for the non-askers.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yes. And she said sometimes they're lonely. And I felt bad, but I also didn't really agree.
- Speaker #1
I do think that speaks to a proportion of them, though. It's not everyone, but it does explain some space.
- Speaker #0
No, I know. But I just don't think it's the crux of it.
- Speaker #1
No, but it explains the periphery, say. Anyway.
- Speaker #0
Totally. Anyway, Lisa has written in and these two gals are besties. And she said, no, it's battle of the besties. She said she actually doesn't agree with Roisin.
- Speaker #1
Love this. On the theory about the lonely,
- Speaker #0
lonely non-askers. I'm on Lisa's side here, I have to say. Clara, where would you like to sit?
- Speaker #1
I think I'm on Roisin's, clearly.
- Speaker #0
Oh, grand. So you and me are versus each other. And Lisa and Roisin are virtually versus each other. I suppose, yeah, you feel like it's a bit more of a, it could count for a percentage.
- Speaker #1
message.
- Speaker #0
I agree with you on that, but I'm just like, I just don't think that's the main.
- Speaker #1
People need better manners.
- Speaker #0
And like almost like a sense, not a sensitivity chip, like a conscientious chip.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Like it's like they're missing a SIM card. Oh my God. Yeah. They're like an empty iPhone. God, I've really woken up with like Gandhi energy. Now, Lisa also said, Lisa loves these messages, P.S. She said she also loved our chat about digital detoxing. And Clara and I were just saying we actually really liked it too. It brought us back to when we were pre-branded as 30 Flirty and Perishing. And that was all more kind of personal and dating and stuff. I actually did, when we did that like three or four years ago, we did an episode called like Mr. Right Now.
- Speaker #1
Oh yeah.
- Speaker #0
And I just started seeing someone. And I was like, oh, no, but I don't think he's for me. He was there for Mr. Right Now. But he ended up being my boyfriend for like a good while. And he, when we had started things off fairly early on, was like, I listened to that, your latest episode about Mr. Right Now. And he's like, was that about me? And I was like, no, we recorded that ages ago. Obviously not. So talking about digital detoxing and she loved the personal insight. I liked it too.
- Speaker #1
Back to our roots.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Talking about deleting people.
- Speaker #1
Yes.
- Speaker #0
So I'm getting the impression that she's removed the extension of an ex on social media, but hasn't removed him.
- Speaker #1
What, like friends and family?
- Speaker #0
Correct.
- Speaker #1
I had to do that because the granny was liking my stories and liking my posts. I was like, what am I to do here?
- Speaker #0
The granny?
- Speaker #1
The granny and the parents.
- Speaker #0
I mean, that's a red flag in itself. What?
- Speaker #1
And I had to remove them as followers. I was like, are we really here? Stop. Just stop looking at me.
- Speaker #0
That's really awkward. Stop looking at me. Stop stalking me.
- Speaker #1
And it was like two years after.
- Speaker #0
Oh my God, get over it. Are you serious?
- Speaker #1
Come on, granny. And she was the sweetest little woman.
- Speaker #0
He should have briefed her now. Being like, don't do that. It is really awkward, you know, when you have a breakup and then you also have like the other people around it that...
- Speaker #1
The friends.
- Speaker #0
but anyone that you would have come into contact or the mutuals or whatever it is. That part's really awkward.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it is.
- Speaker #0
And a lot of the time they don't. A lot of the time they're really awkward.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. It's just we should all Homer Simpson into the hedge. That's just the rule. Unless there is like mutuals beforehand. It's just a kind of a, it's sad because when you're breaking up, you're like, oh, we'll always be friends. It's like, no.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. So I did that with.
- Speaker #1
It's just a simple no.
- Speaker #0
I did that and then I came out of it and I was like, wait, I don't like him as a person. Why would I want him to be my friend? He's not a good person.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
But I was so like, oh, I want to stay friends, but like he's not a nice person. So why would I want to be friends with somebody who's not a nice person, let alone go out with them?
- Speaker #1
Exactly.
- Speaker #0
And then Lisa's talking about, you know, family and friends, removing them, but keeping him, the ex, but hiding his stuff. Huh. Yeah, I would hide him. I wouldn't delete him because then it looks like you care too much. Yeah. And then when you're ready, make the decision. I only made that decision basically a year later that I didn't want to have him as a follower.
- Speaker #1
But who cares if you delete them? Who cares? Like, I know it looks petty, but to who? The person you've broken up with?
- Speaker #0
Oh, no, sorry. I meant sort of more of like a self-preservation thing. No one would notice if I deleted whoever. I just mean for me, I'm like, I'm not of sound mind to make this decision.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, you're not.
- Speaker #0
And I want to be in my full sound mind to make a decision. And then it took me over a year.
- Speaker #1
It does take a while.
- Speaker #0
Not to be of a sound mind, but it took me over a year to look at it objectively and be like, I don't like him. We do not talk. It's very awkward. I never want to see him again or talk to him again. Therefore, I do not want him on my list.
- Speaker #1
100%. But I think why it takes that year to untangle that is because you probably spent the last however long of the relationship seeping in, slowly submerging into accepting that behavior. So you were saying a yes to him and a no to you. So you're slowly going, yeah, accepting that behavior that doesn't align with your like values, your morals or anything. Or like, you know, when relationships don't work and you're not aligned. And because it happens so like incrementally and so slowly, it's almost like you're brainwashed is the wrong word. But you're kind of you're choosing to accept that behavior because I did the exact same thing.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah. It took me ages to realize like it wasn't me. It was him.
- Speaker #1
Yes. So then then I think it's just like the slower you fall into it, the harder it is to come out.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. And the denial.
- Speaker #1
The denial is a huge thing. And like,
- Speaker #0
oh, my God.
- Speaker #1
And you avoid telling people about the bad behavior because, you know, once you say it, they're going to be like, girly, move on.
- Speaker #0
I only said loads of stuff after the fact about like little instances that were like awful. and I only sat at like months after we had broken up and anyone who I'd say it to was like why did you never tell me that at the time and I was like I was like I was clearly embarrassed that that was the case and sharing it would share my embarrassment yeah and then I was kind I would kind of be saying it out loud so like acknowledging that it was awful yeah because
- Speaker #1
you're also going like you're telling people I was allowing this happen to me and there's there's shame and embarrassment around that. But then there's also like all your friends want to do is like give you a huge big hug. But there is that kind of like admitting it's not you're like admitting that it's not working. And I think there is I find it really hard to do that. Really hard.
- Speaker #0
Because I was like trying to push this boulder up a hill. And it clearly was like kept rolling me, rolling me flat. And it was fucking up a vertical Everest trying to make this person into be a better human being. And it never worked. And it always kicked me. And it was like, actually, sorry, I just want to plug something for our dear, sweet Lisa. I always listen to the Oprah podcast. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before. Definitely a 30, 40, 40 days. But there's a book called, and I have it here. If life is a game, these are the rules. And it's by Cherie Carter Scott. We can just post the Oprah interview in our thing so you don't need to buy this. But she said, life gives you lessons and you keep learning the same lessons you learn. That is my life mantra. And the thing with relationships is when you're trying to make it work, trying to make work and it's not working, that's the lesson and you need to learn the lesson. And Oprah's like, and the lesson can come and even having a different hairdo, a different style of pants, but it's the same lesson.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it's happened to me.
- Speaker #0
Once you say no to that, then you've gotten over that lesson and life gives you another one.
- Speaker #1
And you're super, you're way better for it.
- Speaker #0
Way better.
- Speaker #1
Just remember all his flaws and what he did that made you feel awful. And that's like.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
that's why you're not with him even though it's shit afterwards and don't look at his socials no write it down yeah write it down get a nice notebook and write all your stuff down yeah I recommend a website called I like to call it Papier oh yes it's like P-A-P-I-E or
- Speaker #0
Dolly and Pandora you stuck with it on the high low I'm a big processor when I write things down like that's how my brain channels things because it gets it out gets it out it's very cleansing you could write a big like I used to write all this stuff And go like, you know, into this trance. And then you could burn it. And a witchy thing to do is burn it under a full moon. That's very cleansing.
- Speaker #1
Oh, that's very witchy. I should have done that. Yeah. I find writing it down good if anyone ever found that notebook.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Or sometimes I... Sometimes I keep them though, because then you're like, oh, it takes you right back to that mindset.
- Speaker #1
I found a page or a few pages not so long ago and I was like, I feel so sorry for this version of myself. Because that loser and he was such a loser. Like, how did he make me feel like that? And put me in such a state?
- Speaker #2
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
And also just to conclude on the lessons thing that Clara told me. I had two relationships in a row where their timekeeping was.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah.
- Speaker #1
It wasn't even bad. It was unacceptable. And I didn't get that it was unacceptable.
- Speaker #0
Right.
- Speaker #1
Then I had it once with the one relationship and blah, blah, blah. The second one who I have the most hatred for. Yeah. The lateness and the reasoning and the stuff. And he made me depressed anyway.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
But then I learned loads from... that loser and then I was going on a date I think this one was a few months ago and he was late and I'd say we were going to meet at 7 30 at 10 past 7 I go let me know when you're 10 minutes away something like that but the agreement was 7 30 and then he goes I'm actually just on the way back from X. So I need to go home first. I went nuts. and it was so amazing. And I was like, excuse me? And he was like, oh, you know, I need to go. And I was like, were you going to tell me that or why have I had to ask? And he was like, oh, sorry, I didn't think it was that big deal. And I was like, okay, well, we're cancelling tonight. I'm not going to see you. And then I went off and did something else. And then he was like, oh, you didn't have to be so dramatic. And I was like, I'm not. That's outrageous. It worked also, ladies.
- Speaker #0
You're going, I know that that's a boundary for me now. And you've crossed it. And did this last time the test of time? No.
- Speaker #1
I went on another set of dates and your man was like 10 minutes late. And I was like, TikTok, TikTok. And I told my sister, she was like, wait, Soph, maybe calm down a teeny bit, like give him a break. And I was like, no, like a monster.
- Speaker #0
10 minutes is different to, I'm just going to go home and get changed.
- Speaker #1
I don't care. Boundaries are boundaries, ladies. If you can't deal with me. See you later, sir. He ended up being shit anyway.
- Speaker #0
Well, there you go. But then you're reading the signs much earlier, which shows you have learned the lessons.
- Speaker #1
Oh, I am a red flag.
- Speaker #0
Connoisseur.
- Speaker #1
Like a bubble.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
They just bounce off it.
- Speaker #0
Forcefield.
- Speaker #1
Nothing's penetrating this.
- Speaker #0
The irony that you're wearing red.
- Speaker #1
I know. Jeez, we've been talking about relationships for ages. Let's move on to the celeb gossip. Farrah, I want to talk to you just quickly about the Michael Jackson biopic that's coming out. I know you've a lot of opinions on him. Trailer came out, new biopic called Michael, set for release in April. I loved the trailer. And Jackson is being played. by Jafar Jackson, who's his nephew and son, Jermaine. And yeah, people are saying, you know, do we need this? There was a Bruce Springsteen one that just flopped.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah, that didn't do very well.
- Speaker #1
No. And it all looks like the good, you know, signature Michael Jackson bit. I love a biopic. The best one for me was obviously Freddie Mercury.
- Speaker #0
What's that one called?
- Speaker #1
Bohemian Rhapsody. Loved it. Gazzer, I know you're not on the same page.
- Speaker #0
No, will not be. watching this at all. I think I watched a bit of the trailer and then realised it was the Michael Jackson one and then threw my phone on the other side of the couch.
- Speaker #1
I think I sent it to you.
- Speaker #0
This estate, this Jackson estate is so hungry for cash. They've rewritten this film a few times because they obviously can't go into any of the Peter Files stuff. Yeah,
- Speaker #1
come here. They had to reshoot the third part of it because someone made a claim.
- Speaker #0
So one of the kids who he abused in the contract of the... the settlement that they made outside of court they couldn't use his his story as ip for any kind of movie or storytelling afterwards but they plowed on with it anyway and then had to reshoot like i think it's already cost like 150 200 200 million like it's cost a lot of money and then they had to like rewrite it one of the main issues i have aside from the whole all these bad claims about mike jackson is colman domingo is really involved in it and i really like him as an actor. And now I'm just really doubting him because He's really involved with it. He plays Michael Jackson's dad.
- Speaker #1
Wait, who's Coleman Dominguez?
- Speaker #0
Oh, he's in Four Seasons. He's in Sing Sing. He's so well dressed. He met his husband on Craigslist.
- Speaker #1
He was in Ariana Grande. Oh no, Sabrina Carpenter's music video.
- Speaker #0
I just don't know how he squared that circle because Michael Jackson died broke and now the estate has made so much. Yeah, yeah. That's why he was going on tour. And then he was like drunked up on all this stuff. Anyway, I just think his story and even the Michael Jackson West End show, that's been going for years now. I just cannot listen to his music. After watching that like three, four hour documentary with Wade Robinson and the other guy. Yeah,
- Speaker #1
I didn't watch that.
- Speaker #0
I just think it's like it's that classic debate of separating the art from the artist. And some people can do it. I don't know if I can because it's just it went on for so long, these rumours. and was so publicised at the how he used, and we'll get onto this with Diddy, how he used his fame and power to get what he wanted.
- Speaker #1
I so understand where you're coming from, but don't we love a bit of a moonwalk?
- Speaker #0
I don't think I can love it anymore. Just every time I look at him, I just think of a paedophile. I just think there's no smoke without fire. Oh,
- Speaker #1
yeah, fire. Okay, I look forward to watching it in the comfort of my own home. I will not. pay you to see it but I do love a theatre musical in any case. Moving on from one dodgy character to another. Clara you have been watching the Diddy documentary.
- Speaker #0
Oh my god I must tell you I was not ready for this style of it's a four hour.
- Speaker #1
Sorry when you said you were on episode four I was like I didn't I thought there was two.
- Speaker #0
No four one hour episodes and you know the world is so dark at the moment and I was just like not really in the mood for heaviness, especially with all the like festive cheer around. But I must say, I urge anyone to watch it. It's all killer. No filler. There is not one lull. It goes through absolutely everything. Like it basically... goes through how he came up in the world. It talks to all the people in his inner circle who were clearly yes-men at the time and now have suddenly seen the light. And then there's actual victims of sexual abuse and all these people along the way. Because I thought it was all going to be about the freak-offs in the court case. This is no, like, oh, from when he's born to his arrest. And there's no need to talk about, like, how terrible Diddy is. We know how terrible he is. and We know that he has absolutely no bottom. He will go to whatever lengths it is to get what he wants. Ruthless. Ruthless. And it is that same old story of Michael Jackson, Harvey Weinstein, Jimmy Savile, of just like using their power, the allure of their fame, the promise of money to get what they wanted.
- Speaker #1
And then like how the mighty have fallen.
- Speaker #0
Exactly. And like, this is definitely the point of no return for Diddy. There is no way he can come back after this when he gets, eventually gets out of prison. so 50 Cent is an executive producer which is great and the trolling of Diddy is great but let's remember that 50 Cent is not a good person he's been accused of domestic violence Wait what? Yes rape allegations any of his mother of his children do not have nice things to say about him he has been in and out of court he's been banging down doors been very violent there's very strong allegations of violence towards women with 50 Cent So it's kind of like two awful men fighting each other.
- Speaker #1
Oh, no. Oh, God, yeah.
- Speaker #0
No, he's, I don't think he's a very nice person. But at the expense of Diddy, I'm glad that 50 Cent is bringing all this onto the table. So I would urge everyone to watch it while they can because Diddy has now served this big cease and desist to Netflix because of this video footage that they obtained.
- Speaker #1
That's the best part. It is unbelievable. Sorry, can I just ask?
- Speaker #0
Sure.
- Speaker #1
On what level was he like, I'm going to go into this massive court case. I am being hung out to dry. All my skeletons are being laid bare. Videotape me. Like on what planet is he on that he thought that was it?
- Speaker #0
Ego. Since he was 19, he's always had camera crews following him.
- Speaker #1
I think that is the touch of a psychopath.
- Speaker #0
Psychopath. And I think, so he was filming this and he was definitely filming it thinking that he was going to get off. these charges.
- Speaker #1
And what then he was going to do like?
- Speaker #0
This is how I survived. That's why he had the cameras there.
- Speaker #1
Oh, this is what I went through. Sorry, how did they get the tapes?
- Speaker #0
There's a few options. Rumor has it that he didn't pay the videographers and they had the release forms. They had the footage and they sold it to Netflix because Netflix are adamant that they got it legally or whatever. But, you know, in a worst case scenario, there's a chance that this documentary could get taken down.
- Speaker #1
But it's already out, so who cares?
- Speaker #0
Yeah, and all the clips, all the news is out. And then the other one is somebody in his inner circle betrayed him and like let Netflix know or let 50 Cent know that there is this footage and that we can use. But the footage is insane. It's like he's talking to his lawyers.
- Speaker #1
It is insane.
- Speaker #0
And saying that like he said, we have to find somebody that will work with us that is dealt in the dirtiest of dirty business.
- Speaker #1
The dirtiest.
- Speaker #0
Of media and propaganda. We are losing.
- Speaker #1
And you know, and he's like, you're not working together. So I'm going to get off this call and you guys talk together. Like he's furious.
- Speaker #0
Furious. And like you also shouldn't be filming calls with your lawyers. Like, does this not impact your like.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, but this guy.
- Speaker #0
Your legal process and your appeal. Like and there's this one scene where he goes, he needs a bit of an ego boost. So he goes to Harlem where he's from and like all these people meet him and he just goes and then he meets everyone. And everyone's like, we love you. We love you. Even though it's like six days before his arrest. And then he gets in the car and he's like, I need a bath of boiling water and peroxide. Get me some hand sanitizer. I've hugged the masses. It's like, oh, my God. I wouldn't mind,
- Speaker #1
but he was the one rolling around in baby.
- Speaker #0
Exactly. It's like pot kettle.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it just doesn't make any sense.
- Speaker #0
There's also amazing stuff about like Biggie and Tupac in there. I actually I won't talk about because I think it's for somebody like, you know, the story, but you don't really. And it's like one that's been repeated so many times. But this is never before seen footage, clips from police tapes, interviews with the LAPD investigator and all the stuff leading up to it. The Bloods and the Crips are involved, you know, that LA gang. I remember being like when I was like 10 being like, what's that? And like having no idea what I was talking about.
- Speaker #1
Oh, no. You know, you do that stuff from like Talibot, no idea. So embarrassing.
- Speaker #0
Of context. So you... hear about Tupac's death. So there's one guy who is facing trial now for the death of Tupac. And you hear what he did after the shooting, which is so barbaric that it goes into the Biggie death. And there's this clip, this heartbreaking clip of Biggie being like, I know they're trying to murder me. I know, I know I'm terrified. I'm paranoid. Something really bad's going to happen to me and you know Then obviously the inevitable happens. And you just see this amazing backstory into what actually happened. And all the inner circle are going, Diddy had far more to do with this than we're letting on. And then post Biggie's death, Diddy's like, I'm going to pay for the funeral. We need to give him, New York needs to mourn. And sees how expensive the funeral is and then charges it to Biggie's estate. If that's not a fucking sign, like we were saying last week, actions speak louder.
- Speaker #1
Oh my God, what?
- Speaker #0
Yeah. And then, so Biggie was due to get the cover because his album was coming out, Life After Death, and Biggie was due to get the cover of Rolling Stone. Diddy pulls it and puts himself on the cover, releases Missing You with Faith Evans, Biggie's widow. And they were like, he went global after that. And he kind of maneuvered the death of Biggie for his own success and fame. and made himself a solo artist off the back of it. It was crazy. And they all, and like, Diddy had no like respect amongst any of the rappers because, you know, in one of his songs, he was like, don't worry if I write rams, I write checks. But like the whole thing of him being in Bad Boy and then wanting to become this solo artist was like, he was the marketeer and the manipulator and he had no respect. Like Tupac hated him. This other guy, was it Mark Curry? This other rapper was like, He's the worst rapper. I coached him to do everything. How he raps is basically because of me. And he had no idea how to do it. All he knew was how to like manipulate people. Yeah, it's such a good documentary. Then you go into, sorry, the jurors, like people from the jury. So you hear it from like literally every angle. And they talk about how like they didn't believe Capricorn Clark, who was an assistant of Diddy's, who was kidnapped by him and held at gunpoint. They didn't really believe the freak offs. Like, and they were like, they kept coming back to like, he wasn't on trial for domestic abuse. So like, we heard all this stuff, but like, you can't charge someone for racketeering when he's beating up Cassie. But then there's this one juror, one juror 160, and she's like getting in loads of flack because she was like, I was having the same reactions as Diddy, but like, I didn't really know him or whatever. But she's clearly like starstruck by him. And you can tell that like her decision making is compromised. compromised by this lore, by this kind of hypnosis that Diddy was able to put on people. Oh yeah, and you really hear from this guy called Kirk Burrows, who set up Bad Boy with him. But Kirk is one to watch, because it's like, you see him and Kirk has all these examples and so does everybody else, but like all these examples of him, Diddy being a bad person, from like punching his mother to beating up Misa Hilton in the street, who was the mother of Diddy's first child, Justin. You just hear all this stuff, but you still continue to work with him. Like you only walked away when you got fired, which is kind of mad. Oh, of course. It just shows the power. But then my last point is kind of with the freak offs. Episode three, Aubrey O'Day from Danity Kane. First time she spoke in her story. Do you remember like we'd see her and she'd be like, I can't say, I can't say.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
In any kind of other interview, she'd talk around it. In this, she talks through absolutely everything that was happening to her. And it is. Beyond tragic.
- Speaker #1
Okay. I'll give you a clue.
- Speaker #0
Like, so he clearly fancied her. Oh yeah. And like, he kind of picks her out as the one in Dany Kane to be the star. Like nothing happened. Well, like, sorry, she thinks nothing happened between them. And like, there's all these emails and he'd email her while watching porn and tell her and then be like, God is greatest. He sent her dick pics. But then it goes in. I won't say this because I think you should watch it, but like, goes into the. far darker and deeper stuff and then basically she gets fired because she just like wouldn't get with him. Oh,
- Speaker #1
I can't wait to watch that one.
- Speaker #0
You hear from loads of other victims, which is just, and like the whole Don Richard thing and how that played into it and like how he was, even though he betrayed so many people, he was still able to call favors. While it is really dark and it's awful, it's actually such an, like it's an amazingly made documentary because you have so much unseen stuff because I was like, here we are, another Diddy. thing and now you're asking me to spend four hours on this but it is actually like you know it's a huge commitment and I was trying to speed watch it for our record but it was it's actually like an amazing context piece for how toxic this man is I want to watch the Aubrey O'Day but I don't know if I can watch the whole thing I'm very sad her story kind of comes in episode three episode four Cassie's not in it but for maybe she's just like I'm done with this But they do go into the Cassie stuff.
- Speaker #1
Oh, I'd say she's so exhausted.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. And like the jury really explain how they just, they were so confused by her story because it was, you know, you kept going back and like all the text messages, like after abuse would happen, you just go back the next day. So anyway, highly recommend. Not a very festive watch, not going to lie, but it's...
- Speaker #1
I actually have a festive watch as my recommend. Okay.
- Speaker #0
Enough with the horrible toxic.
- Speaker #1
I just wanted to finish on something I saw yesterday and I couldn't help but smile. And I know it's probably not nice to smile about. Just to finish off on our festive episode. The Ritz Hotel, they have this amazing Christmas tree every year. It's stunning. It's gorgeous. I think it's a five star.
- Speaker #0
Oh, definitely.
- Speaker #1
These protesters came in and dumped a load of manure by the tree. And it was the most silent protest I've ever seen.
- Speaker #0
I thought my phone was on mute.
- Speaker #1
No one is making any noise. The security, the protesters, everyone is remaining quiet. Because I think they're actually... kind of trying to respect the public. Being like, we'll leave the manure here, but we're not going to make a scene.
- Speaker #0
You know, like the climate protesters and they'd like, you know, do the orange spray paint or whatever. And they'd be like, save the planet or whatever. You know,
- Speaker #1
or like Enoch Burke. Enoch Burke is shouting 24-7. These guys are chilled AF. They're just like, we want to leave the manure. We'll leave it with you and we'll get out.
- Speaker #0
That speaks volumes. We don't need to say, eat the rich.
- Speaker #1
The group call themselves Take Back. power and they're a new non-violent love that civil resistance group demanding the uk government establish a permanent citizens assembly that has the power to tax extreme wealth oh i'm so with these guys yes it's for play outside they held signs which read inequality is shit tax the rich tax the rich is it terrible i just i know it's not very nice but even the security guard is like doesn't even say stop that he's mute as well that security guard well is not earning that much he's probably on their side I'm like I just love the anarchy of these people not the ones who ruin paintings or who do something but this was a real leave the manure we'll leave it with you because you're being ridiculous and we'll show ourselves it yeah really
- Speaker #0
good festive watch we went into the Ritz quickly I think to like cheekily use the loo And oh my God, they were just...
- Speaker #1
Opulence.
- Speaker #0
It's opulence, but it's also like, it's such a museum at this point. People just go in to take photos. You know, I think say the real rich don't actually really go there. Do you know, it felt a bit like...
- Speaker #1
It's a real photo op.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, it felt a bit Instagrammy or something.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, which I don't like.
- Speaker #0
Great statement.
- Speaker #1
Really good. I really am with you guys.
- Speaker #0
Imagine going to get the booze. Yeah,
- Speaker #1
natural manure. I eat three large bags of manure. so watch that if you're feeling blue we'll put it on our Instagram wrapping up this episode this is our season break would we call it until we come back in the new year our Christmas break we'll see you in jail it's been lovely talking to you this season I can't remember when we started was it October? September, October yes we had a lovely return and loads of fun things are happening so we've loved talking to you guys we love all your messages we hope you have a fabulous Christmas Send us anything that you want us to talk about in the new year. We'll make like a little list. Hopefully there will be hot goss over Christmas.
- Speaker #0
And hot guys.
- Speaker #1
And hot guys in Canary Wharf.
- Speaker #0
Hot goss and hot guys.
- Speaker #1
I could be married by January. My recco is Family Plan 2. Watch Family Plan 1 first. It's very good. It's Mark Wahlberg and Michelle Monaghan.
- Speaker #0
Yes. Oh, White Lotus fame.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, and he is... used to be not a sniper like a hitman okay and he's then put all that aside and he's a boring family man and chaos catches up with him that's the first one and then the second one which we started watching last night is london based they come to london on a family trip and kit harrington plays mark wolberg's i actually won't tell you that part something to mark wolberg And he starts off with an English accent and then he reveals his real accent, which is Irish.
- Speaker #0
No, no.
- Speaker #1
It's excellent. It's a really good accent.
- Speaker #0
Fair play. Sorry. I always get so scared.
- Speaker #1
We got halfway. It's thrilling. And I was like, I need to go to bed because I want to watch this with fresh eyes.
- Speaker #0
What channel is it on?
- Speaker #1
Apple TV.
- Speaker #0
OK. Family planned too.
- Speaker #1
This one is Christmassy. And they're in like, they're in Shoreditch. They're in Covent Garden. And then we've just hit when they've arrived in Paris. so it's a wee European trip pack your bags which I love you know when it's in London and you're like St. James's Park yeah Brick Lane
- Speaker #0
I love doing it yeah
- Speaker #1
London Eye the Ritz the Ritz the Ritz Big Ben it's like anyone would know Westminster oh you actually do see Westminster so do watch it yeah I'll have a fabulous Christmas guys girls everyone guys and dolls And we'll see you next side of the year. Have a fabulous Christmas and a fantastic new year. 2026 is our year, girls.
- Speaker #0
You hot guys and hot gals. Woo! Oh, oh,
- Speaker #2
oh. Oh, shut up.
- Speaker #0
That was really enjoyable.
- Speaker #2
That was a good bonanza.
