- Speaker #0
Oh my god, I surprised myself.
- Speaker #1
That was pretty good.
- Speaker #0
It really took flight.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it had like a...
- Speaker #0
Sorry, am I Cynthia Erivo? Welcome along, it is House of Gossip with me, Clara Kavanagh, and you, Sophie Lyons. We are here with your daily dose of pop culture nourishment. on your hopefully sunny but probably cold Tuesday. Sophie, how are you?
- Speaker #1
I've just moved my laptop back for like a further view and I'm quite into it. I'm great, how are you?
- Speaker #0
Oh, look at you producing oneself.
- Speaker #1
Sorry, it wasn't a great angle.
- Speaker #0
I'm worried that the sun is going to overtake my face and I'll just be a moon face.
- Speaker #1
I hope that does happen.
- Speaker #0
The lighting is good here, but then the curtains are not.
- Speaker #1
Natural light is always the best.
- Speaker #0
She's great.
- Speaker #1
How are you, Gazza?
- Speaker #0
I'm very well, very happy it is
- Speaker #1
Friday. Me too.
- Speaker #0
I really have a TGIF feeling today. Okay, so well, let's kick off then. What are you doing and testing from your beautiful, gorgeous week?
- Speaker #1
I am going to kick back in to something I spoke about last week. The non-Avscar's chat.
- Speaker #0
Yes.
- Speaker #1
I got some really good reaction to it. I had a gal write in.
- Speaker #0
Oh, wow.
- Speaker #1
I had a listener write in and she was like, oh, my God, can we talk about it? And I was like, yes, we can. And she was like about dating and stuff. And I was like, yeah, I told her something that happened to me on a date. And then I was like, the non-Oscars coin of the term, because it is an epidemic. I'm delighted we have a term for it now.
- Speaker #0
I think we've hit a nerve.
- Speaker #1
I think we have too. And that Guardian thing I read beforehand, it was a Guardian article.
- Speaker #0
You see their finger on the pulse.
- Speaker #1
And they were like, our friends and I, we talk about it all the time. And I'm like, you know those people, but I'm delighted there's a phrase for it. But anyway, I found some stuff about that it might be to do with the person's upbringing and stuff. And I was like, no, I'm not having it.
- Speaker #0
Sorry, you can't blame childhood trauma for being rude. I don't know. I just find that, no, I'm not buying it.
- Speaker #1
No, I completely agree. I've had childhood trauma. I'm not rude.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, I can ask a fucking question.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, so I've then done some research. They're saying there's different forms of the non-asker. I'm just like, they're just the one self-centered form. Anyway, but why don't they ask others questions? One of them, they see the conversation as a stage, not a relationship. Huh, I thought that was very interesting. A way to maintain attention, ego smoothing activity, a performance.
- Speaker #0
Ego smoothing. You are throwing some huge statements here. Ego smoothing activity.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And they don't ask others because they're not thinking is another thing.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, because they're only thinking about themselves.
- Speaker #1
Exactly. And it's not about like, how do I connect with this person? It's how do I express myself? Okay. And the traits that is in common in a non-asker is narcissism, low empathy. I thought that was very interesting. Low empathy.
- Speaker #0
If you're not asking about the other person, you don't care.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And you don't want to care.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Because if you did care, you'd ask. and Also, like, you know, when you're dating someone, you want to get to know them.
- Speaker #1
But like a lot of the time I'd be asking someone something and it's to pay an interest. But I don't like it's not like I really have an interest in that topic. Do you know what I mean? Like if you're dating someone, let's say, and you're just getting to know them and you're like, oh, I don't know, ask something about their siblings. Something like that as an example, like you don't know their siblings. So, you know, it's not going to give me anything now. Or socially dominant personalities it's common. I don't think that's correct.
- Speaker #0
Well, if someone thinks they're on a stage or a pedestal.
- Speaker #1
But the non-askers that I come across are ones, it's more like they're talking at you, but they're not socially dominant because they don't have that in them to be socially dominant because they're not aware. Do you know what I mean?
- Speaker #0
Oh, that was very meta. Yeah, okay.
- Speaker #1
Let's open up the floor here. Secondly, low curiosity about others. This is actually very freaky because I have an ex and my list now going forward for what I want in someone is learning points from this person. And one of them.
- Speaker #0
That's great. Everything's a lesson.
- Speaker #1
Of course. Yeah. Very painful lesson. They don't think to ask, how was your day? What do you think? What about you? Low curiosity. They lack. other orientated curiosity. So selfish. And this often comes from someone who's self-absorbed, emotionally immature and being accustomed to attention from others. So I think this is a red flag. Should you meet someone who has this, their underlying traits are not positive ones. They expect others to be the audience. Yeah. Oh, this one. They don't realise conversations require reciprocity.
- Speaker #0
Reciprocal?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it's reciprocal, but...
- Speaker #0
Back and forth.
- Speaker #1
Correct. 50% sharing, 50% asking is a healthy social interaction. Broadcasting, venting, unloading, storytelling, lecturing, but not relating. So true.
- Speaker #0
I just feel like the more, as a society, we've dated... And the more technology has gotten involved and advanced it to a certain point, we've actually gotten worse at it. And actually probably more, maybe it's more so with social media and like TikTok attention spans. The more like online and social we are.
- Speaker #1
Oh yeah.
- Speaker #0
The less actually physically social we are and the worse we're getting at all these things.
- Speaker #1
Oh, last we talk about dating culture where like people are great keyboard warriors or even like online sleuths. Great keyboard warriors.
- Speaker #0
Or, sorry, using AI to write your dating profiles. Or even, I've heard a lot of people copping on that the person has used AI to ask them questions in the chat.
- Speaker #1
That's really sad.
- Speaker #0
Like, don't leave in that big dash from Jeff G.B.T.
- Speaker #1
And I think the art of the small talk is gone. I don't think some people our age are great at it, but I think we're a bit better. But, like, I think our parents are good at it.
- Speaker #0
Really good. most of the time like almost don't know how to end a conversation it can go on that long correct
- Speaker #1
I was with my mum at Christmas and I was like sorry guys I'm gonna have to cut it here and it was it was for a while so they're probably very generous but like I think our kind of age group are fairly good at small talk and I just think it's a dying art and it's something you need for socialising in day to day life and the further one they don't I'm sorry they see the other person's role as supportive That's very talented.
- Speaker #0
It's not a good relationship.
- Speaker #1
If you're talking to a guy and he's a non-asker, he's seeing you not as an equal as a supportive role. And I do not want to be a supportive role. I want to be the main character.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Or like a duet.
- Speaker #1
Yes. One plus one equals three, as Galsworth says.
- Speaker #0
That is the thing. And it feels like we're dating at the moment. You want someone to have the good non-AI chats at the beginning. You might limit the amount of dates you go on. And then you finally make it to the fucking barstool and you are now listening to somebody's monologue and they haven't asked you one single question and you're there looking at your watch going like, for fuck's sake. Like, I wasted makeup on this date. Like, you know, I could have just be at home.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I have a big day tomorrow. Or, you know, like at a social thing, like everyone's very busy with work. So when you're like eight and a night out and stuff, if this kind of stuff happens, I'm way more intolerant to it now because my time is so much more precious.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah, you know, you're a blogger and then you say you're at like a big table and you're like not listening to what they're saying. But then you're like worried that you're missing the banter on the other side of the table.
- Speaker #1
Oh, half listening.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah.
- Speaker #1
Do you have that skill where you can drone?
- Speaker #0
Oh, I'm well trained. Well, yeah,
- Speaker #1
especially with a non-asker. Anyway, moving on. Red flag for a non-asker. They actually say maybe sometimes you should just say it to the person, which I have.
- Speaker #0
I think you can jokely say it. I think we need to call these people out because... They're clearly so obsessed with the spotlight that they're getting on this this self-made stage that they need to go oh shit because not in defense of non-askers but maybe they don't realize it and then they're just like.
- Speaker #1
I've said it on like dates and stuff before I've been like are you gonna ask me have you are you gonna ask me any questions about myself and anyone I said it to is like oh.
- Speaker #0
I genuinely don't think that they know that they're doing it I think they think I need to fill the silence here or they're nervous obviously. displaying all those like they're not sympathetic they're not curious all that stuff.
- Speaker #1
Robots.
- Speaker #0
But it's so hard to find a genuine connection in this day and age when there's like so much choice in like the four dating apps and then you have people who come on dates and then monologue. I feel like our behaviour has gone out the window. So yes, we must call them out.
- Speaker #1
Even in a workplace setting like you can't obviously call someone out on that but you know when you know loads about your go worker and you're like you don't know anything about me.
- Speaker #0
I know. Or sometimes I get a question, how are you? So then I ask it back and then the monologue begins.
- Speaker #1
I actually said it to a former co-worker of mine before.
- Speaker #0
Well done. What did they say?
- Speaker #1
They were like, oh, they said something about kind of like prying, basically. But yeah, like they don't want to pry. But I liked that old co-worker, so it doesn't really matter.
- Speaker #0
How I like to be petty back to these people is like someone will go, how are you? But they just want to be asked, how are they? And then you say, I might have some big news, right? And they don't know that because they've just gone on their monologue. But then somebody else will come up to me and they'll go, how was that? And I'll be like, it was amazing. And then the non-asker is going. Oh my God, yeah. How was that? And like, you just see it in their face that they're like, oh, I didn't know that.
- Speaker #1
Because I don't ask. Because I don't fucking ask. Well done, Gazza.
- Speaker #0
I'm a big deal, okay? I have shit going on in my life. Well, yeah. I'm an interesting, cool and funny person.
- Speaker #1
Well-rounded. Oh, this is a really good point. Lisa, who wrote in to me, said, and the worst part is that the person you're speaking to feels great after the conversation. That is so true. Yeah. Oh, they think it went really well, but we facilitated a good conversation. Oh my God, you're so correct, Lisa. Maybe we need to lean into being silent. This gal is my queen. Making people squirm a bit. Yes, Lisa.
- Speaker #0
Because sometimes I think we all know that we're a natural hoot. And you're like, I'm making your night amazing. But like I'm having fun, but I think I'm having fun because I'm such a good time.
- Speaker #1
Because I love myself.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. And I'm a hoot.
- Speaker #1
I'm happy for me.
- Speaker #0
Then these, I think these non-askers or like takers style people.
- Speaker #1
Drainer.
- Speaker #0
And they're like, oh, I'm having a great time because I just get to monologue about myself. And she laughs at all my jokes or whatever. But then I think as women, we're natural facilitators.
- Speaker #1
You're so correct.
- Speaker #0
But you come off in the day being like, I just had a great time with me. Not. with you.
- Speaker #1
I'm my best companion. Slay.
- Speaker #0
Right, on to my jetest, which is a rant. Thank you, Kate, for making me aware of this because clearly this man is not in my algorithm. Okay, I have a jetest because my arch nemesis, Ed Sheeran, is releasing his Netflix documentary. It's come out today. It's called One Shot. Ed Sheeran clearly watched the hit Netflix show, adolescents and says, I want to crowbar myself into this. So he's called the documentary One Shot. And it's one shot. And it's from the director of photography of the documentary is Nick Allen, who was the director of Adolescence. Cherry picked the best in the biz and said, you make this cool for me now.
- Speaker #1
Mine, mine, mine.
- Speaker #0
Honestly, how childlike he goes on with all his Lego and pirate ship themed home. It's just... He's like a greedy kid in the playground.
- Speaker #1
How do you do a one-shot documentary?
- Speaker #0
So the Guardian quote here says that they follow the unselfconscious Ed.
- Speaker #1
Okay.
- Speaker #0
Snigger. As he completes a late afternoon soundcheck in New York theatre, in a New York theatre where he's playing a concert later on. Then for the next hour, with fans pretty much always swarming around him, he wanders through the city with his guitar for various encounters, some planned and supposedly...
- Speaker #1
unplanned interactions I wonder how many takes it took 100%
- Speaker #0
like did they did they do like they did in adolescence where they like bring it back to the beginning and like no Ed you fucked it up you have to start again Ed you ruined it my cousin Nate sent it on to me she was like she said something like I want to start don't mean to start your Friday all for the doozy and I was like we're going to record the bomb this is perfect but she sent me a screenshot it's of Ed playing a song when his mate proposes marriage to his girlfriend.
- Speaker #1
His actual mate?
- Speaker #0
I don't know. You see, I don't think I'm going to be able to watch it for fear of like internally imploding. No,
- Speaker #1
I don't think you should.
- Speaker #0
No.
- Speaker #1
I don't think you should.
- Speaker #0
I'm still going to give out about it.
- Speaker #1
Of course.
- Speaker #0
The trailer, you see like there's gig on a tourist bus, then a rooftop party. There's a bit where he's in the lift with some guy and the guy doesn't recognize him or doesn't pay any attention to the camera crew. And he's a bit like, oh. Do you not know who I am? Yeah, and then he's like going through the subway.
- Speaker #1
The subway, as if he takes the subway.
- Speaker #0
Exactly. I hate the way he's just trying to be like a man of the people.
- Speaker #1
Aren't they giving out about him in his local shire because he's trying to make it like a village out of all the homes he owns or something?
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
And he was trying to make a local pub on the property. Sorry, I don't actually have a hatred for Ed Sheeran, but I support you.
- Speaker #0
But thank you for your support because... The Guardian article I was reading said that like some bits are like the one shot is like suspiciously suspect. And you see this in the trailer. He tries to hail a cab, but he misses it. But then he gets into the next one and the cab driver doesn't. say anything about like the camera going in or anything you know it's a bit like he must have known that was coming and then of course he did and then it goes there was a purely outrageous scene when ed happens to chance upon his friend camilla cabello at the wheel of a car what are you doing in new york she gasps a moment that isn't going to get her any acting nominations and then she gives him a lift to the gig or something in it and they do like a carpool karaoke situation.
- Speaker #1
It feels very kind of Jonas Brothers 15 years ago when they would do these kind of skit. It was curated.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
But they were the Jonas Brothers.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, and they're obviously so much cooler than Ed Sheeran.
- Speaker #1
Oh.
- Speaker #0
Just a brief backstory on my hatred of Ed Sheeran. He's just constantly talking about how famous he is and constantly being like gimme, gimme, gimme. And you can't watch an interview without him talking about being accosted on the street. or not being able to go anywhere or talking about all the fruits of his fame or like the money that he has and all the weird stuff he buys so this just feels like him oh I'm just an everyday man of the people walking around New York City but then like every like in all the scenes you see people with like camera phones so it's like I just think there's no modesty there's no humble your sister sent me bloody videos of him on the Graham Norton couch and oh my god was he unbearable Talking about like he's going to release a... How do you say a post-homoseous album after he's died?
- Speaker #1
Post-humously. Does he have that? That's humiliating if so.
- Speaker #0
Sorry, it's called Eject.
- Speaker #1
Oh gosh.
- Speaker #0
Spare me. And he's sitting there on the couch like... Yeah, it's obviously called Eject. Oh, he can go do one. So he's just really riled me up. And now I actually think a little bit worse of the guy from Adolescence, Nick Allen, because... stop drinking the Netflix Kool-Aid there, Nick. You know, you did something of such prestige.
- Speaker #1
No, you can't. He would obviously say yes. Like, let's be frank. He would never say no. That's not fair. Let's stick to it. Leave Nick alone.
- Speaker #0
My hatred is filling in. No, Nick. Okay, I'm going to take a walk around the block. Yeah, fine. I'm going to see the Kool-Aid.
- Speaker #1
Right. You have something on Britney and the Kardashians. a la Kris Jenner's 70th last week that we spoke about.
- Speaker #0
So just a quick conspiracy theory, just a light little one to kick off the show. Kris Jenner's 70th birthday bash, the world and their mother was there. We all would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Then there was this huge, big, massive backlash online that Lou Taylor was there, the woman who's kind of dubbed the architect of Britney Spears' conservatorship. She was like a big target during the Free Britney movement. Britney was managed by TriStar. Lou Taylor's company.
- Speaker #1
We spoke about this. You brought this to the table.
- Speaker #0
She was like Justin Bieber's management. She has a weird connection with Diddy. She's just a very sus character. Okay.
- Speaker #1
Roger.
- Speaker #0
But she's meant to be like a real scary woman. Like no one will talk about her. Britney Spears talked badly about her in her memoir. She kind of orchestrated the legal arrangement. At one point, I think, tried to get TriStar Entertainment, a co-signer of Britney's conservatorship. So anyway, the Kardashians were getting loads of backlash because Lou Taylor was photographed at it. So then we have like the weekend after, Khloe, Kim and Britney all in bed together.
- Speaker #1
It was very uncomfortable.
- Speaker #0
Very uncomfortable. I think there's a lot of headlines. Sorry, there's a lot of Britney news in the headlines at the moment. And it's really quite sad. And I feel like during that conservatorship, she was put on like an illegal amount of lithium. That's obviously going to affect your brain chemistry. You know, she went through a lot. I think people just need to like leave Britney alone people want that free Britney movement to have like this big happy ending but life doesn't work out that way and like I just they just shouldn't have put that up yeah and the guy in the photo is Kate Hudson yeah who's he no relation to Kate Hudson who I thought it was oh okay she does have famous brother but he is her long-term friend and now a manager god she's always getting a new manager isn't she I know and like I think when managers become friends it's very hard when the business lines are blurred oh muddy water yeah especially when you're in bed with the Kardashians but I think Khloe's house is on the site where Britney's old house was okay there is like a background connection oh yeah here's where one well my own personal conspiracy theory comes in so at Kris Jenner's party Everyone was given, you know, those Ray-Ban meta glasses.
- Speaker #1
OK.
- Speaker #0
And they were encouraged to like take photos and use the glasses.
- Speaker #1
OK.
- Speaker #0
So obviously Mark Zuckerberg's there at the party. He owns Instagram. So when they wanted to remove those photos of like Meghan Markle, they obviously had that like secret power to. But also Mark Zuckerberg owns like the algorithms of like Facebook and Instagram. So by the Kardashians getting like into bed with Mark Zuckerberg, they can like. control the algorithms a little bit so mark zuckerberg can show them in like a favorable light like the press around the kardashians you rarely see any of the bad stuff it's always quite good positive ones and you just wonder that's like indoctrination yeah now this is my own tinfoil hat theory but i'm just saying i like that let's keep it let's keep her here keep it sharp girlies i don't speak like i'm candace owens at all who the one who should not be named but I do think like He's kind of the puppeteer of the internet. The Kardashians are getting into bed with him. He had his merch at their party. And then Lou Taylor's there. So definitely Britney in bed with the Kardashians is definitely a Kardashians trying to overswoop the Lou Taylor backlash. Like Reddit was full of it. TikToks are going nuts being like, why was Britney?
- Speaker #1
Reddit is such a interesting space.
- Speaker #0
Someone called it the front page of the internet. And I agree.
- Speaker #1
That is so true.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. So there you go. Sorry. Conspiracy, tinfoil, backstory, Britney.
- Speaker #1
Bart Simpson.
- Speaker #0
Bye. Battlestar Galactica. Okay.
- Speaker #1
Moving on from one person that you despise to another set of people that you also despise, the Beckhams.
- Speaker #0
Woo.
- Speaker #1
I have something to bring to the table. I was going to talk about Cruz Beckham a few weeks ago because he has this new album out and blah, blah, blah.
- Speaker #0
Yes.
- Speaker #1
And I didn't. We didn't have time. He has this new music video out now. During the week, he put up an Instagram, I think he put it up, of him and Victoria Beckham singing Viva Forever. And he was playing the guitar. I think he's pretty great. I think he actually has, like, talent. And he seems to really care about the guitar and the singing. And the video was lovely. Did you watch it?
- Speaker #0
Viva Forever, yes. It was on Love of Huns. That's how I saw it.
- Speaker #1
I thought it was lovely. It was really, really nice. And they were, like, in their living room. I'm sorry, I don't expect you to empathize or vibe off this. He closed down Laylow the other night, which has been closed for two years. And it's like a private area thing. It's on the market for around six million. And it's lived in by property guardians to keep squatters out. But they obviously rented it out. And it's in Notting Hill. And he had like a little showcase of his music. And I feel like he's the brother with the talent. You know, he's playing his bits.
- Speaker #0
I did like the Viva Forever was cute.
- Speaker #1
Oh, and he did all his practice in like East End, like pubs and stuff. I feel like he really cares about his trade. And I thought the video is really sweet. So opening up the floor for potentially some vibes for Trisha Backham.
- Speaker #0
I saw one headline. It was like Victoria was in tears watching him on stage.
- Speaker #1
I'm sure they were. They looked like they had a great time.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. They are a very supportive family. I'll give them that.
- Speaker #1
They're lovely. I saw also some hatred about Brooklyn made some fried chicken and people weren't into it. Just a side note. But that was my tidbit on Cruz Beckham. I think let's open up the floor for the brother who really cares for the trade.
- Speaker #0
It reminds me a little bit of Bono's son, who's in a band.
- Speaker #1
I did not know that.
- Speaker #0
They're called Inhaler. They're actually quite good.
- Speaker #1
It's a terrible name.
- Speaker #0
But it reminds me of that a little bit. Like you have this really famous dad. And for the other lads in the band, you must also feel like a Nepo baby because, you know, no matter how like authentic your startup is, you're still getting gigs like they played. Like didn't Cruz Beckham play the event in Apollo over in Hammersmith and stuff? It's like you wouldn't be getting these gigs if it wasn't for your papa.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
But in defense of Nepo babies, you have to prove yourself that much harder. Yes, you've gotten your foot in the door, but the expectation is potentially higher.
- Speaker #1
I agree. Your budgets are bigger.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
I agree. Making some space for Cruz Beckham's musical talent and the Viva Forever was actually really emotional.
- Speaker #0
Sorry, there's something haunting in that song.
- Speaker #1
Wasn't that the one where they were like kind of cartoony?
- Speaker #0
Yeah, there were little fairies.
- Speaker #1
It's a big song.
- Speaker #0
It speaks to a very spooky side of my soul. It's very hypnotising.
- Speaker #1
It's kind of beyond this world type stuff. Not aliens. It's like... It is. It is. It's like beyond us.
- Speaker #0
Another realm.
- Speaker #1
Almost looking back at us.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. It's like the past and the future all at once.
- Speaker #1
And it's like about endings, but stuff doesn't end because the love.
- Speaker #0
Is forever.
- Speaker #1
I thought it was really, really lovely. So, fair play to you.
- Speaker #0
It makes me want to cry. It made me.
