- Speaker #0
Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good morrow. It's me, Sophie Lyons, here with the stunning Clara Kavner, and we are House of Gossip. We're here to talk to you about all the delicious, scandalous, vivacious, anything to do with celebrities. I'm very excited to talk to you today. Clara, how are you?
- Speaker #1
I'm great. How are you?
- Speaker #0
Sorry, it's Halloween. I have a little orange candle lit. But I love seeing the kiddies dress up.
- Speaker #1
Oh, some of the costumes are so cute.
- Speaker #0
Darling. Anything of like a child in kind of like a pumpkin shape.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
I adore. Or like a duo, like sister and brother, sister and sister.
- Speaker #1
Yes, I got sent Batman and Robin today.
- Speaker #0
I got sent that too.
- Speaker #1
Oh. Aww. Aww.
- Speaker #0
and i got sent a witch with a pet spider oh but the little sister was the pet spider very cute hopefully you're all filled with chocolate and ready to listen to us talk about celebrity gossip clara let's start it off like we always do shador and detest what are you you know when you used to do the fash doesn't that sound like i'm doing that like a billy barry let's start with jador and detest clara what are you shadoring or detesting
- Speaker #1
Well, Sophie, today I've got a huge test. I am absolutely hating this meme of the Nicki Minaj, bees in the trap with the four non-blondes wake up in the morning. You know that one, that TikTok that everyone is doing?
- Speaker #0
Oh, sorry, sorry, where they're back to back.
- Speaker #1
Back to back. And then you're like, who could be behind them?
- Speaker #0
You sent me one of...
- Speaker #1
The Kardashians. It was a Khloe and who?
- Speaker #0
Kylie?
- Speaker #1
Kylie. One thing I hate is, and it just, maybe it's just because it gives me like PTSD from COVID, but once there's one meme and say it's like a dancing trend or a miming thing, why does everybody feel the need to do it? Like, it's like, are we all waiting for the Kylie and Khloe version? And you've made me notice this. The miming is always wrong. Or I just think it's the way it uploads. It can't be.
- Speaker #0
No, it's not. They don't have attention to detail. and they're not in sync.
- Speaker #1
It's so annoying. Or they just don't know the words. Like my algorithm is full of them. And it's like...
- Speaker #0
The more you click in as well, the more you'll see it. Death by a thousand cots, what?
- Speaker #1
I know. I just, I hate this. Everybody having their turn. It's like, it's funny once, but then it's like, oh my God, should we do it? Let's do it. Okay. And then practicing doing it. I don't know. It just... That one in particular is driving me nuts. Like, what does it even mean? It's just a mashup.
- Speaker #0
I hear you.
- Speaker #1
It's not like they're saying anything. It's not like they're saying anything new.
- Speaker #0
It's more the out of syncness that annoys me. Or just like, why don't you start something new?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, do something like different. The trends thing is like, I just, I'm sick of it. Yeah,
- Speaker #0
I'm so over trends.
- Speaker #1
How everyone has to have their go over trends.
- Speaker #0
I'm so done with trends. I'm done.
- Speaker #1
So over trends.
- Speaker #0
I was watching and... the second episode of the new kardashians last night and courtney has your one julia fox on to help her sell her new lemmy product oh yeah and they're doing like tiktoks together and it's just so annoying i like her but oh really i love julia fox though i hear you clara anyway
- Speaker #1
what are you i've actually made myself a bit mad so apologies and so what are you doing you're testing i'm adoring and i wrote it down during the week so i was like i don't want to forget this
- Speaker #0
Have you heard Addison Rae's song, Died Pepsi?
- Speaker #1
No, but you know, I've heard a lot about it. I just can't compute that she's a singer now.
- Speaker #0
It is so sexy.
- Speaker #1
Is it?
- Speaker #0
It's like, my boy's a winner. He loves the game. It's a really sexy song. It would be really good to, you know.
- Speaker #1
To ride to.
- Speaker #0
To be intimate with someone too. It's really sexy and really good. And I really like it. I've seen these like videos of her performing. I don't know where she's performing. She's fully like in a bra and underwear.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Great dancer. And I love this song. It's so hot. It's a really hard song to sing as well. I love it.
- Speaker #1
It sounds like it has real Sabrina Carpenter energy.
- Speaker #0
But it's like hot, like there's like sexual tones to it. Because she's talking about like when we're in the back of your car and Losing all my innocence in the backseat. Like it's really hot. You know, loads of songs now just aren't sexy.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
Proper sexy. Like you're like, I want to be in bed with the song.
- Speaker #1
What's that one? You know, the Beyonce one, the partition song. That's so sexy. Drive a roll up the partition, please. I don't know if you see a Beyonce on her knees. That's so saucy.
- Speaker #0
For like intimacy.
- Speaker #1
It is so saucy.
- Speaker #0
Oh.
- Speaker #1
And then the song and they all have their legs open.
- Speaker #0
No, no, it's a good song. I'm just wondering what I want to be in bed with that song. Do people, like, I think a lot of people don't listen to music when they're in bed with another person.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
It's not like a thing, is it?
- Speaker #1
No, but do you ever see in like movies and they're like, what song did you lose your virginity to? And they're like, the Goo Goo Dolls, Iris. And you're like, oh.
- Speaker #0
Yeah,
- Speaker #1
I think people should bring back being intimate with music. Yes, what was, you know, in Cruel Intentions and that song Colorblind.
- Speaker #0
Oh, what a sexy film.
- Speaker #1
When she loses her virginity. I am ready, I am ready.
- Speaker #0
Is it not? I am colorblind.
- Speaker #1
I am colorblind. Oh,
- Speaker #0
if there's something about music.
- Speaker #1
I'd say millions lost their virginity to that song.
- Speaker #0
millions and also i think it is kind of like not fantasy but you kind of feel like you're in a movie then yeah yeah bring it back bring it well addison ray is bringing it back oh my god or even if you were just kissing to it it's really hot yeah bring it back trevor
- Speaker #1
nelson roots like i need like mtv bass on i used to fall asleep to lbc no that would give you nightmares what are you okay
- Speaker #0
And it did because I just like I like listening to chat.
- Speaker #1
I love chatter. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
And I got on to LBC for a while. And my boyfriend at the time was like, are you listening to LBC? And I was like, it's good. And then I remember I'd be waking up kind of like rolling over in the middle of the night. And it would be like, and, you know, I've lost. My son hasn't come home in 15 years. And you'd be hearing this terror story. And then you'd hear it in your kind of dreams. So I stopped listening then.
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
Closing statement. Bring back music with your partner. Bring back dancing with your partner. No one dances anymore.
- Speaker #1
No, we're all just sitting in pubs. No one's wiggling their tush.
- Speaker #0
Groove on.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Or just like a nice slow dance. Even in the apartment.
- Speaker #1
Light little tango.
- Speaker #0
Mittens. Mittens.
- Speaker #1
Now, so I think this might lead quite well onto a little nugget I have for you.
- Speaker #0
Oh, okay.
- Speaker #1
So we've been talking about boner killers since we came back.
- Speaker #0
I got some great reactions to the original list, P.S.
- Speaker #1
Yes, we did a call out and we got some boner killers sent in.
- Speaker #0
Oh, go on.
- Speaker #1
We got some sent in by a collective group of ladies. Oh,
- Speaker #0
I love a collective. Yeah,
- Speaker #1
yeah. So it's their compiled list because you read out your one with your gals last week. So this one's from Susie, Avila, Sirka, Camilla and best believe Madeline.
- Speaker #0
Oh, it's Madeline and her girlies.
- Speaker #1
Madeline and her gal pals. Oh,
- Speaker #0
lovely.
- Speaker #1
It's a big long list. So I'll just read out my, like most of them are my highlights. To be honest, I've only like removed like four of them. So just to define a boner killer, it's something that ruins the mood as per the Addison Rae songs and sexy dancing that sets the mood. Boner killers, they're different to the ick, I think, because the ick is kind of like a little bit funny. These are like, like your boner is just killed for these men.
- Speaker #0
Because the ick is like. a feeling of boner killer is more immediate.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. It's in the moment. I think. Gone. Okay, so men in tight jeans when you can see their like pulse and their phone and their wallet that is a real boner killer for me.
- Speaker #0
Oh, okay. What?
- Speaker #1
A skinny jean?
- Speaker #0
I don't know. I feel like some guys can pull them off.
- Speaker #1
Okay, men in a pop sock?
- Speaker #0
What do you mean?
- Speaker #1
A pop sock?
- Speaker #0
Like a see-through pop sock?
- Speaker #1
No. No, those little sports socks we all wear as millennials we all wear.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah.
- Speaker #1
The little white tennis sock. That's what I'm assuming a pop sock is.
- Speaker #0
I'm wearing them now.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. But I think men. Men wearing teen clothing like super dry.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah. Oh,
- Speaker #1
big. That was my favorite.
- Speaker #0
What's that other one? Super dry.
- Speaker #1
Even like Abercrombie or Hollister or any of those ones. Oh, do you mean Jack Wills?
- Speaker #0
Yes!
- Speaker #1
Jack Wills. They were like the English Abercrombie.
- Speaker #0
Boner killer.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. Men wearing a thumb ring. or a ton of leather bracelets.
- Speaker #0
Totally.
- Speaker #1
Going Dutch with the bill.
- Speaker #0
Ew!
- Speaker #1
Using a voucher on a date.
- Speaker #0
Has someone done this to them?
- Speaker #1
Must have. Like a voucher.
- Speaker #0
Using a voucher, that's criminal. And if you're going to use a voucher, don't show me. Go up and do it.
- Speaker #1
Do it discreetly. Go to the bar and pay.
- Speaker #0
That's mortifying.
- Speaker #1
That is really bad. Holding cutlery incorrectly or licking.
- Speaker #0
Oh, ladies. We spoke very early on in 30 Flirty and Perishing about cutlery.
- Speaker #1
Licking the knife. Yeah, that's gross. That is ultimate like, oh no, I think we have to leave it here.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, are you that desperate for that bit of gravy? Ew.
- Speaker #1
And then men on the school PA, Parents Association. Seems a bit out of my way.
- Speaker #0
Like a male Karen.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I think so.
- Speaker #0
That was actually a really good one.
- Speaker #1
Great one. I think that's it.
- Speaker #0
That was a really good list.
- Speaker #1
Thank you, girlies. That was great.
- Speaker #0
How many of them were there? Five.
- Speaker #1
Five.
- Speaker #0
Well done, ladies.
- Speaker #1
Oh, they gave me a good chuckle. super dry like how is that still in business like how but apparently it's good quality I don't care you've got a huge logo on your chest I don't care oh that was great okay we are gonna revisit yeah an old little a studio we used to frequent last season on House of Gossip so we're gonna throw it to Sophie in the newsroom Boomba.
- Speaker #2
Thank you, Clara.
- Speaker #0
Oh, I missed doing that. I'm dying to talk to you about this. I saw this during the week on News Talk FM. They put up clips on Instagram. Users of dodgy boxes in Ireland could be directly fined for the first time. It's estimated that around 400,000 households across the nation who utilize these illegal streaming service devices may face fines. This is after a crackdown in Italy earlier this year. with over 2,000 administrative fines worth more than €154, I'd argue that's not that much, were issued to dodgy box users who had them in their homes. They're saying like TV rights holders like Sky are trying to protect like anti-piracy efforts. Like Sky can go do one because their fees are extortionate. This is just another...
- Speaker #1
Misuse of public spending. Like why are you chasing the little man?
- Speaker #0
Again, Enoch... Burke with the security guard. That money could have gone somewhere else and I'm sick of it. There's bigger fish to fry than the dodgy box users. Let us watch BBC in peace.
- Speaker #1
Yes.
- Speaker #0
The BBC thing's so annoying because none of us can watch it. Sorry, in Ireland, you can't watch anything. So the traitor is like, you can't tape or anything like that. Like, it's just ridiculous.
- Speaker #1
Well, they're forcing your hand there to get a dodgy box.
- Speaker #0
That's what I mean. This whole thing of like this, like,
- Speaker #2
I'm from the department.
- Speaker #0
another fine and there's just gonna be more more fines i'm not sure what sort of political party this lands with what with what i'm saying but i'm just like would you just pick the bigger problem but it's also like pot kettle also sky sky are a bunch of of i don't want to swear they're awful yeah and over to get like 20 channels it's like a hundred and something and then you have to pay extra for sports and then you have to pay extra for movies. They're not even an Irish company.
- Speaker #1
No, and it's a cost of living crisis. People's bills are going up. They're going to look for other ways to save. And also when the offering is so expensive and so poor.
- Speaker #0
And also it's this whole thing of like, I have a Netflix subscription, but now I have to go get an ITV subscription. Oh wait, now I have to go get a Disney subscription. It's garbage. We're paying enough taxes here and in the UK. And I'm so sick of it. Do you remember we were talking about the toll bridge? Do you remember how much the toll bridge made? It's like... where is the money going?
- Speaker #1
Where is that money going?
- Speaker #0
If they said that the money was going to X and they could show it lively talking of people paying for their dodgy boxes I'd be like that's fine but I don't see where this money goes. No. We need a commercial regulator manager in the government and this is a poor use of resources.
- Speaker #1
You should be that person.
- Speaker #0
I know! The Federation Against Copyright Theft like go and
- Speaker #1
do one yeah seriously it's i just think it's attacking the little man it's like why don't you focus on something else something much bigger it's like you know like the billionaires tax yeah tax them stop coming after me yeah it's like don't blame the immigrants blame the billionaires you know it's that same thing it's like don't blame the little man yeah what's
- Speaker #0
my favorite guy called you know the really ballsy one jay shetty no what's his name in the door richard boy barrett I was going to say John Joan Evan. Richard Boyd Barrett would support me on this.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, people before profits.
- Speaker #0
Am I the female Richard Boyd Barrett? Like, they're getting away with it and disrupting activity. Like, go away.
- Speaker #1
No, maybe look at your bloody, how much you charge. to use these services. They're forcing people's hands to get them. Because it is like the future of those streaming services. Like not everyone can afford. Like I know people who like cycle their subscriptions. So they'll do Apple TV for months, then Netflix.
- Speaker #0
God, that's really strategic.
- Speaker #1
No, the argument is over the crackdown. It's just like this is just a misuse of public spending. Like, you know, use the money to actually fix a real problem.
- Speaker #0
And time. Yeah.
- Speaker #1
Like, what does it matter? Oh, Sky's not getting more millions.
- Speaker #0
Like go put your efforts towards opening the children's hospital we've been waiting for.
- Speaker #1
Use the money there. A hundred percent.
- Speaker #0
Clean the Liffey. Clean the Liffey.
- Speaker #1
Honestly, build that bloody train to the airport.
- Speaker #0
You know, like Clampers. They're like with their SpongeBob tie. Yeah. These and the Clampers need to go home.
- Speaker #1
Exactly. Finish that connecting the two Lewis lines. Build a tram.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Bring Galway Airport back.
- Speaker #1
Bring Galway Airport back. Like, why are we caring about if people have dodgy boxes or not?
- Speaker #0
Bigger fish to fry. This is the thing that happens when there's so many issues. They pull a tiny problem and then put resource into it because it's easier to solve than the big issues. Yeah. Do you remember they spent like, was it nine million on the magnetic phone cases? And they were like, well, we had the funds. And it's like, oh, for God's sake.
- Speaker #1
Put that money into like teaching people about social media. at the...
- Speaker #0
how bad it is not just putting their phones in magnetic pockets but the parents could have bought them was the point they're like not expensive honestly this gets me so rolled up it's such garbage yeah or into like special needs teaching services i don't know but don't do this like teach people rather than it's kind of like the whole like teach a man to teach a man to fish yeah rather than buy the man the fish or like pay to punish the fish or Thigh in a man who's using a bit of like a bamboozled fishing rod. He's still just trying to get some fish.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, maybe go after the other shark that's in the ocean that's causing way more damage.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
We need to call Richard Boyd-Barris.
- Speaker #0
I think him and I would get on quite well.
- Speaker #1
I think you would really vibe.
- Speaker #0
How do I get into government without doing the whole like...
- Speaker #1
Back and forth.
- Speaker #0
Do you know, like I don't want to do... What's that thing called? The Cummin. oh yeah yeah where you have to enjoy the common and then you have to get a lot i don't want to do any of that i just want to go straight straight to the top as the commercial director but maybe that's not a political position though that would just be a business position you know really because it's like government spending but could you be like a regulator and i'd love an irish title like the ministry anyway for egg spend all it would be like ban on tea but it would be sexy so it would Oh my gosh,
- Speaker #1
yeah, yeah. You need to be the ban on tea of the government. That's your...
- Speaker #0
But, no, but I want to reposition it. I don't want to be called a ban on tea.
- Speaker #1
Colleenie on tea?
- Speaker #0
No. Well, if then it's like the gal of the house. Oh, no, that's it. Gal of the house.
- Speaker #1
Gal of the house. So ban on tea for any English or non-Irish people listening is when you go to these Irish colleges to learn Irish, you'd stay in this lady's house and she was the woman of the house, ban woman of the house tea. And...
- Speaker #0
everyone has their own stories about the lady of the house your mum for three weeks but or am I like a kinnera because they're like the elder sister oh yeah anyway we'll spitball here but thank you Clara thank you Zoe Next up, Clara, we are discussing celebrity traitors.
- Speaker #1
Yes.
- Speaker #0
We're down to the final five. What are your thoughts?
- Speaker #1
My thoughts are I am absolutely devastated Celia's gone. She was a victim of the seating plan. If she wasn't beside, like, in fairness, Alan had such a difficult job because he had to crowbar in this phrase, which I think he did quite well and no one's really copped on to him. But she, like, lights up the screen and I found the episode after her gone just too hard to get through.
- Speaker #0
I also found then Kat really irritating because I was like, you bring nothing to the table. She's always quiet.
- Speaker #1
I think though Joe Marler has, he doesn't have any persuasion as we spoke about before. But now I think this theory of he's gotten Nick on side, he's gotten David on side.
- Speaker #0
I think he's brilliant. He knows who the traitors are.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I think Alan is just so obvious at this point.
- Speaker #0
I feel like they're both really obvious at this point.
- Speaker #1
She wasn't prepared for when they kind of turned on her on the round table. Yeah,
- Speaker #0
what was her excuse again?
- Speaker #1
I'm just like a duck. Like, it kind of looks like I'm kind of cool, calm, collected, but actually I'm going 90 underneath the surface.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah. No, not for me.
- Speaker #1
Now, I think we're going to split hairs here. Joe Marler has a craziness to his eyes.
- Speaker #0
A wildness.
- Speaker #1
Like, he comes across... Weird is the wrong word.
- Speaker #0
Joe!
- Speaker #1
He kind of says some, like, You're the traitor mark! I love it. He kind of has all these, like, outbursts.
- Speaker #0
But he said that. He was like, I didn't think I'd get so into this.
- Speaker #1
You have the Jonathan Ross and the Stephen Fry's and the Alan Carr's at the beginning, whereas he was kind of in the second tier of celebs that you don't know much about them. You know, he's not like a well-known, but he's really relaxed into the role.
- Speaker #0
He's theatrical.
- Speaker #1
He's gone a bit Mark in his. I really wish Mark was in.
- Speaker #0
Sorry, the laser challenge was very funny.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, yeah.
- Speaker #0
When he was like, I'm very like top heavy.
- Speaker #1
Your boner for Joe is bigger than mine, I think. I was just still grieving Celia, to be honest.
- Speaker #0
We've all been victim of a seating plan, haven't we?
- Speaker #1
God, yeah, it was gutting.
- Speaker #0
Happens to me a good bit at weddings.
- Speaker #1
Oh, it's the worst.
- Speaker #0
Happens to me a good bit. They're like, you could sit next to anyone. And I'm like, don't shaft me like that. Put the awkward person next to them.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, at our wedding. The drinks reception happened near where everyone was sitting but the venue gave us a great idea to put like a ribbon across so no one could like go to their seats and switch places. because the the seating plan nearly sent me into a fucking tailspin it was the most stressful thing to try and organize it is very yeah i'm not having people go in and undo the hours and blood sweat and tears i poured into the seating plan so that little ribbon was the perfect i had someone move my name recently fuck off at the table yeah and then i was told i think at the end of the evening by someone who saw it and it really blew my mind i was like
- Speaker #0
Oh, it actually was almost like someone had told me they were a traitor and I didn't know. I was like, oh,
- Speaker #1
like the neck to do that.
- Speaker #0
And then I was like on the day, too. I was like, I'm going to go up to these people and say it. Yeah. And then they weren't there.
- Speaker #1
Classic.
- Speaker #0
You should be ashamed of yourself.
- Speaker #1
Sorry, back to traitors.
- Speaker #0
Do we have predictions? Do you have predictions of what's going to happen?
- Speaker #1
If I was a faithful, I think David has too many question marks on him. So there'd be no harm just getting rid of him. and then Alan has too many I think the heat is on him a bit has a traitor won before? in the yes yes in the muggle one yeah I love that you call it a muggle but what I think the great kicker is now because they didn't do this in the Irish one when people leave now you don't know if they're a traitor or a faithful because that's a huge clue to the faithfuls that makes it way more interesting because then you're like okay mathematical like one traitor's gone there's one left david was doing real mathematics last time wasn't he was yeah i don't know i feel like joe he's quite and i mean this with like the utmost respect you don't have a boner for him no i do but his animalistic nature like he is a dog with a bone like when he locks in on something like when he stares at alan you can see how scared alan is like he's very much like you can imagine him on a rugby pitch being like that ball is mine
- Speaker #0
Can't you also imagine doing the hacker? Yes. Into the eyes.
- Speaker #1
He's got a hacker energy. He does.
- Speaker #0
I really fancy him. I'm so annoyed he's married.
- Speaker #1
The mullet is just, sorry.
- Speaker #0
Why do you hate him so much?
- Speaker #1
The mullet. I'm sorry. You're 35.
- Speaker #0
Again, bigger fish to fry.
- Speaker #1
Boner killer. I just think you're too, that's too old. Like that is like a biker mullet. It's not even like the rugby player mullets.
- Speaker #0
I don't even know what it looks like.
- Speaker #1
It's a bald head with a big strip of hair down the front. It's like a Brazilian.
- Speaker #0
Don't be coming up against the baldies. You're not. No, no, no. You are. No, you are. I mean, it's shaved.
- Speaker #1
It's shaved bald. It's shaved bald. It's just not even like a faded mullet, you know? At least go for a mullet.
- Speaker #0
Should we make a prediction?
- Speaker #1
Yes, go for it. What do you think?
- Speaker #0
I think and hope Jo will win.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I don't have a good feeling about the traders. or Nick I think the Faithfuls will win even though they've been so bad this entire time the smartest like Nick and David are so smart Kate Garraway is very funny oh my god sorry I forgot about her oh my god
- Speaker #0
I I love her David was very salty with her last night he was like that's exactly what I'm saying finally a bit of sass that sass was great I thought that was too much don't say that to Kate Garraway and then she was like my job's quite serious like it's nice to let loose I was like of course
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I don't know. I just really am in vibing with her. I just find that I know she was allowed to be silly and her speech kind of like balanced things a bit. But I don't know. I just find that like, I don't know. I wear loads of bows. I find that routine was just a bit like you have to actually play the game. Do you understand how this works? You know, everybody else is a super fan.
- Speaker #0
Jonathan was a very good traitor.
- Speaker #1
Great.
- Speaker #0
His exit speech was excellent.
- Speaker #1
Excellent. So good. Yeah. And like Alan Carr has now like cemented himself as national treasure icon status done he's very funny he's brilliant you know when they were like i am a face and then he started laughing he was like oh sorry sorry sorry and i'd love him and celia to do you know the way sometimes they do spin-off shows i'd love him and celia to do like a diva or just kind of do a one-hour special like day out in london or something i just need them to have more time together.
- Speaker #0
I agree. I love the way Jo called her my Celia.
- Speaker #1
Oh yeah, that was cute.
- Speaker #0
I want him to call him my Sophie.
- Speaker #1
Okay, so we recorded early last week, which meant that we unfortunately weren't able to cover Lily Allen and her iconic new album, West End Girl. The monologue, the thesis, the novella, the rollercoaster, where in being so vulnerable, she reclaims... the narrative or something or her power. It's chaotic, it's messy, like divorces are, especially when there's loads of cheating. And what I love about it is like she wrote it in 10 days and she was singing from the wound and not the scar. Because I think some breakup albums like are singing when they're kind of like past it. But this album is like this decade's Jagged Little Pill, you know, the Alanis Morissette album. Or like as I saw online, the white lady version of Lemonade.
- Speaker #0
The white lady. Oh, OK.
- Speaker #1
It's pretty good. But what I loved about it is it's like, you know, that Shakespeare quote, like there's no bigger wrath than a woman scorned. But like in this day and age, a woman scorned with receipts. You know the way with like some songwriters, there's like metaphors and there's like hidden meanings and easter eggs. This is just my diary, which is amazing. And it's so vulnerable, like she's not trying to paint herself as like a saint in this. You know, she's saying all her bits in it.
- Speaker #0
So it is like a conversation with herself,
- Speaker #1
isn't it?
- Speaker #0
So it is like a diary. Yeah.
- Speaker #1
What are your thoughts anyway?
- Speaker #0
I mean, so ballsy. And I love that she's done it before he's about to go on a massive press tour for Stranger Things. Like I think that's excellent. She does make me very sad, though.
- Speaker #1
It's sad.
- Speaker #0
She makes me very sad. But even before all this, you know, when she was doing like her podcast with Makita Oliver and stuff.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
She kind of hurts my heart. She makes me quite sad. And so like this album is a real like F you. But also like there's. I remember seeing them being like, I'm so delighted for her. She's like found someone and they seemed really in love. And then you're kind of seeing these older clips come back. Yeah, it's just really depressing.
- Speaker #1
She's had a very like tough life. You know, she struggled with addiction. She's gone through a lot. I've read her book. Was it my words exactly? My own words exactly, maybe. And like there's a lot in there that she it is like her whole style is in all her like previous music and songwriting. And in writing that book, it is it's just that confessional style. Which I think makes her like very unique and shows her kind of flaws and all. And there is that vulnerability to it that I think is just really unique to her.
- Speaker #0
And it's so like, you know, and she's like, who the fuck's Madeline?
- Speaker #1
Who the fuck is Madeline? Yeah, it's like Becky with good hair. Yeah, it's so good.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, it is. I mean, like she'll make loads of money and stuff from it. And she's very vulnerable. I do love the way she kind of talks things.
- Speaker #1
She takes you on such a journey.
- Speaker #0
And yeah, I just love that he's going on a press tour now.
- Speaker #1
I know. So in the recent press that she's done, she said she wrote the album in 10 days in December. And I now feel very differently about the whole situation. We all go through breakups and it's always fucking brutal. I don't feel like I'm being mean. It was just the feelings I was processing at the time. She doesn't think it's cruel and she doesn't need revenge. I'm like, this album is pretty revengeful.
- Speaker #0
Well, he just seems like a wench.
- Speaker #1
Really, really, yes.
- Speaker #0
And you know all the bits where it's like... oh you didn't have to audition for the play or something and that annoyed him and then he sent her like like flowers beforehand and the note that was like yeah these are bad luck flowers if you do well that'll mean you'll win loads of awards and I won't be able to take it I've done 100,000 plays And I've never been acknowledged.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it just seems like a psycho. And then he has like his like man lair in New York where he brings women.
- Speaker #0
There's obviously no Easter eggs in this, but there are one or two meanings that we can talk through. So in Palace, where she says, Palace, , I thought it was a dojo, dojo, dojo. So dojo is like this place for where you like meditate and practice martial arts.
- Speaker #1
Yes.
- Speaker #0
And who the fuck is an expert in martial arts and jujitsu? David fucking Harper.
- Speaker #1
I find people who love that kind of stuff kind of a bit sus.
- Speaker #0
And then speaking of Palace. So at the beginning of the song, I saw a few TikToks on this. She sampled the Stranger Things intro music, but slowed it down. So at the beginning of Palace, you hear the Stranger Things music.
- Speaker #1
Oh, my God.
- Speaker #0
Isn't that good? And also. The final one is, so you know the album cover and she's in this like puffer with the polka dots.
- Speaker #1
Go on.
- Speaker #0
You know, she's been doing these like dinners to like launch the album or that interview magazine. You know, everyone's given like party favours. And I've seen on Instagram, like a lot of the party favours are butt plugs, but they are in the baby blue and polka dot. It's amazing. So it's like she dressed up as a butt plug on her album. Or it's just a lovely tie in, which I thought was very thoughtful.
- Speaker #1
I'd love to go into what?
- Speaker #0
the like development for the like the creative for the album was you know like once she'd recorded it like imagine being part of those conversations it's a famous Spanish artist who did the cover uh sorry who did that the painting of her but yeah it's great creative process she's done it very well but like the timings are kind of weird so as you say uh Stranger Things promo is starting so the new series is starting on the 26th of November for the I think is the fifth and final season so four episodes are coming out the end of November the following are coming out like Christmas and New Year's the trailer came out yesterday David Harbour they're set now the headlines are saying he's been removed from the trailer but who knows was he ever really included because then they're saying like other main characters like Winona Ryder and Maya Hawks they only have fleeting appearances as well so unless they re they took loads of main people off so it didn't look like just David Harbour was chopped from it Yeah, which I thought was kind of interesting. And like David Harper has turned off the comments on his Instagram.
- Speaker #1
I heard he had turned them off.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, it'd be really interesting to see how this rolls out because he obviously is legally bound to do the press for this. So I'd say no one will be able to ask. Like surely journalists won't be able to start the interview going, who the fuck is Madeleine?
- Speaker #1
But they'll also have complete. Don't talk about XYZ. Exactly.
- Speaker #0
If you want the interview, you're going to have to.
- Speaker #1
Which is also such a big elephant in the room.
- Speaker #0
He's going to just have to sit there and ignore everything. So I cannot wait for that. She is going on tour in the UK in March. So I think the story will be ever evolving. But the timings are interesting. So now they're like all those like the Architectural Digest videos are all going around and everyone's like reanalyzing them. But their house is now on the market for $8 million. Because the divorce, like they're still settling it. So they bought it for 3.4 in 2021. And now it's up for just under 8 million.
- Speaker #1
How does he have that money? Does he make a lot of money?
- Speaker #0
I think he was in like Marvel films and stuff. But the timing. So I saw one theory, which I don't know if I completely agree, was why have they chosen to put the house up on the market right after she. releases the album and like now that everyone's look re-looking at their house on the architectural digest because they did very like few interviews together is it all just to get like a better price for the house now that it's so like iconic and I'm part of their divorce oh my god I'd never want to live in that house I know bad luck no windows in the bedroom because it was a nice house I called it a bed womb oh
- Speaker #1
barf
- Speaker #0
It's cool. It's so cool. It was a Billy Cotton. Yeah, it's very cool. Very maximalist. But then there was also like photos, like obviously divorces are messy. So the album comes out on Friday. On Saturday, David Harbour is photographed in Universal Studios with her kids.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, sorry, what do you think of that?
- Speaker #0
That's where I think, okay, divorces are messy. And of course, the kids have their own relationship with him that stands outside of like why you divorce someone. But I think if they were going to catch up or he's say looking after the kids at the moment. And he looks completely unbothered, like he's in this huge big Mario, Super Mario jersey and looking like he's having a great time. You could have, like, if you're reminding the kids, I think it's a public statement to do it in a theme park. Like you want it to be photographs there. Rather than it being like a big mastermind album rollout thing that some people think it is, like the weird timing of putting the house on the market right after, this could be him fighting back going, well, you've released this divorce album, but I've got your kids for the weekend, so, haha. Here we are in Universal. Like he could have been doing that as a chess playback.
- Speaker #1
What a psycho.
- Speaker #0
Psycho. Speaking of, Jumoa have said that they're both on Raya at the moment. Like there's been reports of both of them being there. Now this is a blind item, but look, we love to talk about a blind item. One of the reasons they also broke up was because his kinks like went too far. And she just wasn't comfortable. Then it called back to a Miss Me episode. But Lily said, like, oh, I'm not trying to kink shame my husband. But he'll say that, like, he wants to experiment between the sheets. And she has to tell him, like, oh, it's not happening. I have a headache. I'm not up for doing that.
- Speaker #1
Oh, yeah. She says I have a headache.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
And then, you know that bit where she's like, I made your favorite dinner and you seem unbothered.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. That's. That's where like that level of detail, you see the sadness and the sorrow in it. It's just so, and you're like helpless, like you're trying to do something nice and it's just falling on like kind of ungrateful hands. And then, oh yeah, and then the real life Madeleine came out.
- Speaker #1
But that's not her real name, is it?
- Speaker #0
No, her real name's Natalie Tippett and she was a costume designer who worked with David Harbour on a film set. Apparently the affair went on for three years. She invited the Daily Mail in because it's all behind their paywall. don't worry I got around it. She invited them in admitted like this is who I am. She said it was like oh it's actually really scary I've got a daughter like this is this attention is a lot of So why did she invite them in then? But she invited them in and then they were like have you listened to the song what do you think? She was like I'm not saying. She didn't comment on any of the key facts. It's unusual that you'd invite someone in but then Is she going to pay out or something? Yeah. And then a source close to David has said that Peace. Now, so we don't know. This is from Heat. So let's just... Anyway, so an insider has now revealed that while David feels wronged, he is reportedly crying wolf that he and Lily had agreed that he could have sex with other women. He is unlikely to hit back in any public way. Like some people are talking about would he sue her, but like that would... I don't think that would paint him in a great light.
- Speaker #1
Jeepers.
- Speaker #0
Dave is very shy in private, so it's not his style to hit back or drag out. this in the public. He's writing it out and trying to drown out the noise but it's easier said than done. Everyone's grilling him about him, especially his Hollywood friends who had no idea he was so dark and had all these bizarre fetishes." So yeah, but like just to wrap up really, I think that it's really sad. The whole album is like, if you remove like the anger and the shock and all the like the Duane Reade bags filled with Trojans and butt plugs. It's just a really like sad demise of like a relationship and just I love how raw she is. It's made me so sassy. Like I've tried to limit myself to listening to it once a day because I was just being so like Nick was like, whoa, I was like,
- Speaker #1
fucking men. It is like the white lemonade.
- Speaker #0
It is. It is.
- Speaker #1
That's such a good explanation.
- Speaker #0
It speaks to a wider I think like now that the dust is settling and like the shock is kind of wearing off a little bit of everything that her lyrics confess. But it's very telling. Like, apparently she didn't write any music when they were together. You know, the public loved them as a couple. Like, if you look at the Architectural Digest comments, like, that are, like, not the recent ones, everyone's like, oh my God, best couple ever. It's just, we're seeing it through a different prison now. But they met. She's got two kids. You know, she thinks she's found her happily ever after. They've got this veneer that everyone's amazing. Like, in fairness, like, he just seemed like this big labradoodle of an American who's just like, my girls! And like, I'm so obsessed with her kids and we have the best family life. Like, you know, they did have this outwardly looking great relationship and she had finally, you know, she was wild child gone good.
- Speaker #1
Where did they meet?
- Speaker #0
They met on Raya and then I think they had a meet cute after. And then basically as soon as, because Jumaa said this ages ago when they got divorced that apparently as soon as they got married he asked to open it up because she moved to London and got the... role in a play and he was like you can't expect me to not have sex while you're gone but but it just speaks to the wider issue of like you know open marriages only work when it's exactly equal it's such a power imbalance and like there's always only one person who wants it more don't get me wrong I think relationships should be what the couple wanted their relationship to be and you have people who are very comfortable with lots of loads of different things but this I suppose this is kind of a classic case where one person wants it and the other person doesn't and or the person feels kind of like coerced into it.
- Speaker #1
I wonder will he do his side in some way?
- Speaker #0
I don't know. Like what's his side? Like it seems like there was rules and parameters and then like is it in the song Just Enough which is further down the album where and I think there was this rumour at the time where he got somebody pregnant and then it's like well how much sex are you having if you're thinking you're like impregnating someone? Yeah. It's just been amazing to go on this journey with Lily. I love it.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, she still makes me quite sad.
- Speaker #0
I know. And also, sorry, one other hidden meaning is this. There's a song called 4chan Stan, which is the song where she kind of gets the ick. And Stan obviously means like, you know, a stalker fan. But 4chan is this like really unusual online forum that is used by, it's misused by like right wing people, by incels. There's like loads of crazy shit of the internet happens there. So is she like exposing in that song that he's obsessed with this 4chan forum?
- Speaker #1
Oh, I didn't understand what that was when I was listening to it.
- Speaker #0
So like the New Yorker, of course.
- Speaker #1
You're such a investigative journalist.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's like obviously obsessed with all the content that goes on it. So London's King's College did a study on 4chan and spoke of its escalating concern across national governments about the right the rise of far-right extremism and some of the content we reproduce is from 4chan and it's extremely offensive and can be classified as hate speech so it seems like a unusual corner of the internet that he was obsessed with. In what shape or form we don't know but it seems like in that song it gave her a massive, that was her boner killer, it was a massive pick for her.
- Speaker #1
I look forward to his interviews when the press tour starts.
- Speaker #0
Yes, yes.
- Speaker #1
Gazza, it's your turn for a recommendation this week. What is Lily Allen's biggest fan recommending?
- Speaker #0
Well, my friend Craig took me to a comedy gig in Leicester Square Theatre over the weekend from a B-Day. And we saw a comedian called Liza, Liza Traeger. She is so American, but she's like a fun, she's kind of like, dare I say, like a... American Joanne McNally in the way that like millennial speaking of being single always on your phone oh she seems fun she has an Fx special I'll link her Instagram I think her Instagram handle is called Glitter Cheese she does loads of funny content of like being single and all your friends have babies and you're arguing over who's more tired it's like she does some really good like on the nose stuff for ladies who are just trying to live survive and thrive in their 30s So yeah, she definitely speaks to our old podcast name, 30, 30 and Perishing. She is just, she's so funny. She's great on stage.
- Speaker #1
Oh,
- Speaker #0
funny stories from like school and bits like that. And it's just, she's very hard related to this queen. So if you just need a good little giggle, she's a great follow.
- Speaker #1
Oh, love it. What was the theatre like?
- Speaker #0
It's great. And they have such good guests. They have such good roster. It's unfortunately on Leicester Square. So it's very chaotic, especially on a Saturday night.
- Speaker #1
Was it on a Saturday?
- Speaker #0
Yeah. But that would definitely be a good place to see because it's like a big, small theatre. Like you could get up close and personal. I should totally recommend.
- Speaker #1
Fabulous. What a good gift. I love that. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for sending us your boner killers. I think continue to send them in.
- Speaker #0
Please.
- Speaker #1
Boner killers don't die. And thank you to the five gals who collectively did theirs. I'm Sophie Lyons. You're Clara Kavanagh. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. And we'll chat to you next week. Oh, and then we'll know who the traders... who the treasure winner is after the next episode.
- Speaker #2
So stay tuned.
- Speaker #1
And belated happy Halloween.
- Speaker #2
Bye.
- Speaker #1
Bye.
