Self-Doubt’s Grip on Men: Unpacking the Inner Battles and Paths to Personal Power | Men Talking Mindfulness: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Fitness to Elevate Performance and Resilience for Leaders and Teams Under Pressure!

Description

Self-doubt. It’s loud, it’s sneaky, and it’s the voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough - even when you’re crushing it.

In this episode, we dive deep into self-doubt, unpacking how it grips men and secretly drives our choices, our relationships, and the stories we tell ourselves. If you've ever found yourself second-guessing your instincts, replaying that conversation (again), or holding back because of that relentless self-doubt, you’re definitely not alone. We’ll get brutally honest about where self-doubt comes from, why it sticks around, and how you can finally break its grip and reclaim your personal power.

Get ready for candid stories about the internal wars men fight every day, actionable strategies for smashing self-doubt, and a few laughs at the absurd stuff our brains conjure up when no one’s watching. Expect practical takeaways, surprising insights into men’s mental health, and tools you can use to step out of the self-doubt shadow—starting right now. If you’re tired of self-doubt stealing your confidence and joy, this episode is your call to take back your manhood and make your mind your ally, not your enemy.

Chapters:
00:00 – Introductions

05:19 – Embracing Worth and Authentic Leadership

19:31 – Owning Your Inner Voice

23:43 – The Journey to Confidence and Well-Being

25:26 – Power of Personal Affirmations

27:04 – Purpose, Brotherhood, and Self-Belief

32:16 – Growth Through Self-Doubt

33:51 – Seeking Feedback, Building Confidence

35:09 – Vulnerability and the Strength to Ask for Help

36:07 – Men and Overcompensation: Rewriting the Narrative

37:04 – Redefining Vulnerability with Courage

40:26 – Emotional Connection and Brotherhood

41:20 – The Illusion of Confidence

42:38 – Insecurity vs. True Confidence

45:13 – Legacy and the Path of Growth

46:40 – Strategies for Self-Reflection and Empowerment

Feeling stuck? If you need help getting out of your rut, Will can help - head to willnotfear.com to learn more about his coaching to get you off the hamster wheel.

More from MTM at: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
If you're looking for that external thing to heal a wound inside of you, it's never going to happen. You know, how much more effective would I have been if it came from a position of wholeness and not needing to prove to someone, but rather just stepping into my strengths and allowing my full potential to rise to the occasion? If someone else talked to me the way I talk to myself in my own head, would I even allow that person to be in my life? It actually is one of the biggest factors for how others perceive you too. If I call John up and say, John, I've got this problem, I really need your help with it. a couple minutes to talk about it. John is not going to feel like, oh, great. I got to deal with George. It's John again. It's wow. He thought I'm the guy he's trusting with this problem.
Speaker #1
Because asking for help is not quitting. Asking for help is refusing to quit.
Speaker #0
Raw, uncut and unapologetic. Welcome to men talking mindfulness.
Speaker #2
All right, let's get real. Every guy wrestles with that voice in his head whispering, who do you think you are or don't screw this up. So we brought in combat veteran and executive coach George Hayworth to help us throw self-doubt into the spotlight, break down the sneaky ways that limiting beliefs mess with us at work, in love, and in life, and what we can do to change that voice into one that aligns with the person we want to be. Welcome back to the show, everybody. George, thank you for joining the show. Really appreciate you having you here today.
Speaker #0
Yeah, I'm honored. I'm excited about this. And This is, in my opinion, one of the most important topics for men to... not only here, but to really take ownership over. So I'm really excited for this conversation with you guys today.
Speaker #2
Bingo. And who's always joining is there, John McCaskill over there. You know, I'm just trying to show you guys, no, there's a little, there's already a riff going on here between these guys, you know, George's army guy, George's Navy guys. So virtually John's a Navy guy. Yeah. Sorry. I'm going to try to keep them separate. You know, virtually.
Speaker #0
This is a new riff between John and Will. Yeah,
Speaker #2
that's right. There always is. There's always a little tension, you know.
Speaker #1
All right. Well, yeah, George, great to have you here, man. And yeah, excited to get in this conversation. You're right, man. This is definitely something that there needs to be more conversation around and specifically in the men's side of things. Before we do that, though, we're just going to do a quick couple of announcements for those of you watching, listening. If you want to know what Men Talking Mindfulness is up to, just check out mentalkingmindfulness.com. We've got some exciting things coming up. We've got the Spartan Race. I think actually by the time this releases, we will have done that. And then we also got a new mindfulness meditation course coming out soon. We're going to be promoting that. Look out for that. And then we'd like to do a one-breath grounding practice here that's for the three of us, but also for the audience. So, George, if you would join us, we're just, you know, get focused. So whatever that looks like for you, get comfortable. whatever that looks like for you. And let's just bring our attention to our breath and begin by exhaling, emptying your lungs out, bringing your navel to your spine, and then noticing the sensation there with it being empty and then a nice deep inhalation, filling all the way to the top, holding full, and then letting that go, letting that go.
Speaker #2
letting that go and then bring some movement back in maybe crack your knuckles roll your man i needed to crack mine there you go george is on his neck damn okay we're not gonna fight guys we're not gonna fight okay we're gonna like you know we're gonna work on this one topic that's just
Speaker #0
all the that's just all the the injuries and sports and stuff yeah it never goes away so i'm not here to fight okay i'm just fucking around i'm just fucking around yeah so
Speaker #1
Let's see, man. Will, I'll turn it over to you to kick it off.
Speaker #2
Again, thanks, George. Again, you've said right from the top how important, and this is such a key topic. I've checked out your content. You have a great LinkedIn going on over there, and I even checked out your landing page for your website. You work with different leaders, different men. What are some of the biggest transformations you've seen? by helping people overcome self-doubt.
Speaker #0
Yeah, there's a lot of outcomes that have transpired from helping men unlock kind of their full potential, starting with their mind first. And really, it's kind of a it depends because it depends on who the person is and really where they're struggling. So for some guys, it's doubt. It's feelings of inadequacy. Maybe it's something that happened in childhood, and so they've been running with this narrative their whole life of I'm not loved or I'm not whatever, right? You know, for me, John, your special operations, you're a Navy SEAL. I've only been conventional army, right? And that was a huge part of my self-belief, limiting beliefs there was, well, who's going to listen to me, right? I was never an operator. I was never a Green Beret or a Ranger. In fact, I failed Ranger school. So who's going to listen to this loser? He couldn't even make it through Ranger school, right? So whoever the man is, we've all got something that we've carried with us from somewhere that is... just a roadblock really. Cause at the end of the day, do I really need to be an operator to help a guy get over his own hurdle? Absolutely not. Right. It actually has no bearing on that conversation. What has the bearing there is kind of connect with him, understand his challenges, his needs and wants, and then help him navigate that. So, um, some of the transformations, right? So for some guys, this was their marriage, right? They didn't believe they could have a better marriage and believe that they were worthy of having a better marriage. So, you know, you, you unlock that and dive into that and it's amazing how much the intimacy returns to the equation for business leaders. It's something of, you know, maybe they don't know how to lead their team or they think they're not capable of leading a team larger than what they currently have, or maybe they haven't considered a different kind of way to approach the market. And so by just challenging that doubt, refusing to accept it, you know, as their executive coach, we can actually navigate around that. And then they realize, you know, after kind of some initial wins, how they were kind of in their own way. So hopefully that kind of paints the picture. It's a very diverse range of wins. And so for whoever you are, maybe listening to this, you know, you have to kind of set it in the context of your life. And that was another, that's another kind of piece here of the limiting belief is the comparison game, right? So John, in your experience, your post military, you know, you did all these things as a SEAL, right? So what's next for you is clearly going to be different than what's next for me, right? And to try and compare the next phase of our own growth would be silly, because in the context of my life, I probably have a different set of challenges than you have. So, you know, that's a big thing. Listening. Don't.
Speaker #1
compare yourself to any of us here or someone you know and reflect on what is that next kind of hurdle for your own life first off um you know this might sound trite coming from a fellow veteran but thanks for what you did for for our country thanks for your service and we we totally we interviewed uh one of my fellow seals and he said when people say thank you for your service he says now he says thanks for being worth it but i wanted to thank you for what you did but i also want to i want to point out. You weren't just conventional army, man. You raised your hand, like talking about comparing ourselves, right? Like that's part of the comparing and not comparing. And I would also argue that there are probably a lot of special operators that are special operators specifically because they were insecure or they didn't feel they felt inadequate. They didn't feel valid of love or they wanted to feel valid. Uh, so, and quite frankly, I'm probably one of that. You are John,
Speaker #2
you've said on the show before, like you had some, I mean, I know there's, yeah,
Speaker #1
I've got confidence. Yeah,
Speaker #2
definitely.
Speaker #1
Um, but there's also, there's also at the same time self-doubt. So it's, it's fun, not fun, but it's funny to think of that you can have confidence and self-doubt exist at the same time. Like I had confidence that I was going to make it through SEAL training. But then there was also a lot of self-doubt that caused me to make it through SEAL training, if that makes sense. Like I had self-doubt in myself, like I'm not worthy if I don't have a trident. I'm not worthy if I'm not an operator. So what do you think about that? Like people who enter tough professions or maybe they enter tough sports, maybe they become an X Games athlete or something because they actually do feel inadequate.
Speaker #0
Yeah, I can speak to that because I'm one of them, right? I joined the army for a lot of good reasons, right? Very idealistic, wanted to serve my country, you know, all the kind of things there that a lot of people join for. But just in the course of my own life, that was one of my narratives, right? I'm not tough enough, strong enough, good enough, whatever, right? I need this external thing to validate these inward feelings. And so, yeah as a young man That was a big reason of why I joined the army and I wanted to go to combat and do all these things was to show the world and prove how awesome George is. Right. See, I've done it. I'm a combat vet. It wasn't really from a position of health. Right. And so it drove me. I was very successful. I did. I did good within my sphere right now. Again, back to comparison. Success is relative, I guess. But in my little slice of the army, I was good at what I did and I worked very hard to be good at what I did. But a lot of that was driven from a position of insecurity. So, you know, I reflect back on those those times and having grown a lot since those those periods of my life. You know, how much more effective would have I been if it came from a position of wholeness and not needing to prove to someone, but rather just stepping into my strengths and allowing my full potential to rise to the occasion? Maybe I would have passed Ranger School, right? Maybe I would have passed some of these other things that I'd struggled with at different points along my career. But that was a huge component for me. And, you know. I think that's something a lot of men are looking for. It's a very easy trap to fall into because so much of what it means to be a man, especially a good man, is to pursue more, right? Is to step out, especially as a young man, you're talking, you know, teenage to early 20s. You want to make your mark in the world. I think it's programmed into our DNA to do a hard thing and kind of earn your keep amongst the tribe. That can go into overdrive though. If you're looking for that external thing to heal a wound inside of you, it's never going to happen and it'll never be enough. And you'll just be chasing that carrot forever and ever. And a lot of the times you burn up a lot of people along the way because you damage relationships in pursuit of this thing or, you know, you maybe overspend on things. There's a lot of negative effects that can come out of chasing after an external thing from a position of woundedness. So I definitely struggle with that and operating in this new kind of mindset and belief about myself today. I give from a position of abundance. I share with others from abundance as opposed to being in competition with them.
Speaker #2
Was there a moment that you kind of woke up to this self-doubt and these realizations you're kind of having? Was there a particular something?
Speaker #0
Yeah, I'm trying to think of one specific moment. Over the course of my life, I had some pivotal moments, a lot of them post-army. I left active duty. I had a lot of challenges in my marriage. Um, you know, I had been unfaithful. And so just even just trying to keep the marriage together was a new battle to fight. And it was brought on by my own mistakes. Uh, that obviously started some soul searching process when I looked at myself in the mirror and hated who I, who I saw and what I had become, uh, which wasn't in line with my beliefs either. And really trying to pull the thread on why am I this way? What can I do about this now? Um, that, that probably would be the most defining moment that at least started the process. Uh, but I don't think I really. truly got to a point of freeing myself from a lot of these narratives that had played rent-free in my head and my subconscious mind until just a couple years ago, like two years ago. And a mentor of mine named David Walde, at the time I was wanting to step out and build a business and help others in the ways that I, you know, things that I had struggled with. But I was making some of those excuses. I wasn't special operations. I wasn't this. I'm not this. And, you know, he just simply asked me, you know, because I'm a man of faith too. I believe I was being called to this by God to change career paths and do something different with my life. And he said, okay, so you're telling me in your own words that God's calling you to this, but somehow he needs you to be something you aren't already to accomplish that thing. Interesting. Tell me more about that. And in that moment, I was kind of like, wow, okay, I realize now I've essentially been putting myself in a little box with my excuses. And if you are a person of faith, you know that it's almost an arrogant thing to do because if God says he's called you to something is going to, you know, have you do that, he's going to make it happen. You know, so who am I to say, no, you can't do that, God. So whether you have faith or not, um, the, the same idea here falls in place for, for every man of, you know, why not you, are you really a failure or is it just something you struggle with it? Can you share that experience with others to actually help them along the way? So for me, what I realized is I don't need to be any. specific success metric, you know, outwardly to be of service to someone, I need to connect with my target audience, the people that are actually needing my assistance and find a way to serve them best. And so you can't have your own limitations in that equation to be effective for someone else.
Speaker #2
Excellent.
Speaker #1
I love that you use that word right there, limitations, because that kind of leads into the next question about limiting beliefs, right? We've all heard of limiting beliefs. We all have had them. How can understanding limiting beliefs, what they are, how to overcome them, how can understanding that unlock kind of new levels in this, in confidence, purpose, fulfillment?
Speaker #0
I think it's step one, actually, as I reflect just back on my own experience and then watching, you know, my clients overcome their own hurdles. Getting this right first just supercharges every other metric of success or growth that you could possibly, you know, track. And I think for the modern man, especially in the West, there's been a lot of social conditioning. And again, not to get into victimhood or blaming some one thing, we have to all take ownership of the story playing in our own brains. And a lot of us have been completely asleep to the fact that we are mind controlling ourselves the most, right? It's actually not any external thing. Those may be contributing factors, but our subconscious mind running these programs on repeat is actually brainwashing us. towards negativity, towards failure, towards lack of confidence or, you know, strong relationships. And so this is a lot of where we start with our clients, whether it's in our men's program or with my executive coaching clients, is really defining. What's the story you're telling yourself right now? And like I said, most people are kind of unaware of that. So, you know, we challenged them on that first to even recognize what that could be. And then starting from that position, you kind of ask yourself the question of if someone else talked to me the way I talk to myself in my own head, would I even allow that person to be in my life? Nine times out of 10, that answer is no, absolutely not. So why are we doing that to ourselves? So a lot of guys, this isn't like some woo woo, you know. psychedelic kind of thing or whatever. This isn't some feminine, you know, touchy feely type of thing. It's a raw fact, right? Like your brain's subconscious brain is a operating system. And if you are not putting the right inputs into that, that, that loop, it's going to set you up for disaster. And so a lot of that self-talk and asking yourself the way you speak to it, like, if you mess something up, do you beat yourself up and call yourself a failure or loser? What, what's the language that you're using or is it, okay, I messed this up. What do I need to learn from this? Right? So it's a perspective shift. We're not just going to lie to ourselves about, you know, oh, I'm awesome. It's not like this affirmation loop or something. Um, it's, it's genuine reflection on what's actually happening and then using the right types of language because words have a lot of power. Words have meaning. They mean things for a reason and our subconscious mind can't tell the difference between fact and sarcasm. So it's extremely important that you... use very powerful language. And the final example I'll give here, James Clear talks about it in his book, Atomic Habits, of someone who is trying to quit smoking will never stop because they're just trying. Someone who says, I am not a smoker will eventually not smoke anymore because they have now changed the words, the power of the language they're using sets their mind to actually achieve this new state. So, you know, John, I'm sure you probably had some words playing in your head that I'm going to be a SEAL. I am a SEAL even before you were one, right? And that, that, kind of locked you in. There's still a lot of execution that has to happen in the real world. But if we are putting our mind seven steps behind, well, good luck winning. You know, I mean, you're, you're already playing off the back foot. So put yourself in a position to win from that mental point of view.
Speaker #2
Absolutely. I mean, you talked about that narrative and the language we use. And I like, you know, I was told a long time ago, I don't know where I heard it. It's like language is consciousness. You know, we keep telling ourselves one thing, you know, that's, what's going to keep showing up. You start, you know, shift the script. and the narrative into something that's more empowering, that's what's going to start to happen for you. Because, I mean, because it's like, that's our life, you know, like what's amazing about the brain and what you mentioned, it doesn't really, no difference between reality or, you know, or just a story is it will go out and look for evidence that I'm a piece of shit, that I'm undeserving, or it'll go out and look for, you know, the vision of like trying to be a SEAL. It's like, yeah, like I got the strength. I'm going to meet the right people, whatever it is, you know, in order to make that happen. But what are some of the common ways that self-doubt like continually manifests in one's life when they're where they keep that loop going, you know, and evidence just keeps showing up of, you know, showing them like who they are. So what's what's that look like?
Speaker #0
Yeah, so a good indicator for me was like, like, I hate to keep going back to this example, but like, John was a seal, right? Old me would have been intimidated by that and felt like I need to kind of like. show some way that I could earn my keep and be an equal to him in some way. Right. So like, it could be this kind of like inferiority complex. Um, another thing is if you're just like constantly feeling like you have to compete with others over even tiny things, that's, that's probably from a position of doubt or a low, a worthiness wound there. Um, the other one is check yourself talk. Like we already talked about this one, but, uh, you know, that, that, what are the words you're actually saying to yourself? Um, Yeah, I think those are some of the most vivid examples I can think of just off the cuff. The other one that I would ask you is when an opportunity presents itself, whether it's business, family, friend, whatever the opportunity may be that's just a little bit outside your comfort zone, is your initial reaction to go, well, I don't think I can do that? Or is it, hmm, maybe I should explore this? Your kind of reaction to a new opportunity should be a huge indicator to yourself about what's actually going on. inside, because if your reaction is any form of hesitation at even potentially a very good opportunity, that to me is an indicator that deep down you almost don't think you're worth it or can do it or, you know, something of that nature, you know, and someone who is pretty sure of themselves and has a good kind of internal monologue going, they'll say, hey, let's let's find a way to make this work and then back out if it doesn't. Right. Or it doesn't make sense. But let's explore this. right? So your reaction to newness. Should be a pretty telling cue for you to kind of maybe go do that inner work. And that's the final thing I'll say here is no one can do this for you. I said earlier, every man has to take ownership for this. People can help you and give you tools and we can ask you hard questions and stuff, but only you can control the words going on inside of your head. And so until you take ownership over that. this isn't going to change for you, man. So you can do all the things outside and go lift all the weights, do all the programs, you know, go to this mountaintop experience. But if you don't ever change the stuff inside of you, you're going to fall right back to that old programming. As soon as the high wears off.
Speaker #2
You know, when I studied a long time ago, I was talking to John before the show. I was like, I studied this book called mind lines, you know, a while back, you know, and it's, it's an, it's an old one. I mean, I got picked this up in 2008. Uh, and I was like studying limiting beliefs because I want to overcome my own limiting. limiting beliefs. So one thing they really made me aware of, which like speaks to what you're talking about, like, uh, you know, how you're like showing up in a particular situation is like, they really broke it down or just being aware of yourself in two ways, right? So you have the internal state, right? So what's going on with yourself emotionally, right? Do you feel that doubt? Do you feel like, is there kind of a downward kind of movement? Is there like negativity kind of running through you, but also it's matched with your external behavior, right? So do you move Step up. Do you move forward? You know, do you, you know, ask a question and you get curious or do you retreat and turn away? You know, maybe your head goes down or something like that and you walk away. So, yeah, it's a really I think it's a good distinction because we have that, you know, every situation like every it's like, you know, stimulus, thought, emotion, action. Right. So it's like, you know, how are we being how we're being triggered in that situation? and just being aware of that emotional state is going to really determine like how we're going to show up in that external, you know.
Speaker #0
in the in that environment yeah i've one quick little addition yeah please with the the interesting thing about your self-talk and kind of this internal monologue the story you're telling yourself is it actually is one of the biggest factors for how others perceive you too um and so there's something about when when we carry ourselves in a negative state internally human beings like we're we have all this ability to perceive what's going on in someone else because it's a survival instinct right this is built into our dna it's not It's not some woo-woo, you know, corporate phrasing or something. This is deep within our flesh to sense these things about someone. So if you as a man are just self-destructing every day, beating yourself up, saying you're not good enough, you're not enough, whatever, guess what everyone else is going to perceive? And they're going to start to think that about you too. And it's amazing how, like some of my clients, you know, they were really struggling at work to either assert their position or kind of manage their team or, you know, kind of deal with difficult people and stuff. And just growing their ability to hone their mind and kind of project a different version of themselves outwardly made all the difference. And they've gotten promoted and all kinds of stuff, you know, like they don't really. It's not like we did some crazy tactics and strategies and have all these conversations. It was just they were they were doing it to themselves almost. And it's amazing the difference that happens in your life when when you start to carry yourself in that better version. People sense that and they're attracted to it because they go, ah, this guy. there's something about him, you know, it's this like kind of subconscious connection we get with others. And I don't say that as a way to like manipulate others, it just draws more goodness in, you know, because you project it out, it comes back, and then you can actually, you don't shine bright to dim others, it actually gives them permission to shine brighter too. And there's a really good poem by Marianne Williamson that outlines that exact kind of concept. And a lot of that is the mental programming.
Speaker #2
Yeah, I'm going to find that quote. And I'm going to read at the end. But John, go ahead.
Speaker #1
But I'll come back to where you talked about you've got to do the work, right? Nobody's going to do the work for you. But, I mean, you've got clients. You talked about men's group. We can support one another in doing this work, right? You can't do the work for somebody else, but maybe you can show them, hey, journaling. You could show them some things to think differently about. So I'll give you an example. So at the beginning of this year. I started this physical challenge, a fitness challenge, specifically working on my own. It's my own challenge. This is working for a physique competition, works towards a physique competition. And I was having success most of the way, had a couple of hiccups along the way. But the biggest thing that kind of took me off of this journey was two biggest things. One. I started to see that it was affecting my family. Like my, my daughter started to say that she was fat, my eight year old. And I was like, Nope, this is, this is not where I want this to go. And my six year old little boy was like, Oh, I need to eat more protein. I'm like, okay, you're six bro. Um, and, and so that, that was definitely a piece of it. Um, but also self-doubt there was self-doubt that crept in. Um, like I, can't do this. I can't reach this. Yes, I've attained these different measures of success along the way, not as far as along the way in the physical journey, but just along the way in life. And then I was like, well, this is one thing that I can't do. Um, and I've funny enough been talking with my therapist about this. Cause I, I actually started beating myself up for it. I was like, damn it. I failed at this. So the self-doubt was creeping in. And then, uh, I started working with a therapist and I started working with a, uh, a trainer here, um, to, to get in better physical shape, but not, not to stand up on stage for physique. And my trainer, he had, he asked me all these questions like. what are your goals? And he's like, scale is not going to be a good enough goal. Um, you know, body fat percentage is not going to be enough goal, blah, blah, blah. And, uh, and he, I ran through this whole thing. And at the very end, there's a, my big why, like kind of, and I'm going to read it. I'm going to read mine. Um, and, and my big wife after doing all this homework and, and you're going to notice some language here, George, rather than saying, I'm, I'm going to try to do this. It said, I will become a man who feels fully alive, strong in body, clear in mind, and confident in every space I walk into. I will look and feel younger, powerful, and proud of the man staring back in the mirror. This isn't just about fitness. It's about health, and it's about reclaiming my confidence, reigniting my energy, and showing my kids what it looks like to never give up on yourself. I will move through life boldly again on stage, at home, and in love, knowing I've built the discipline, strength, and self-respect to attract the life and relationships I deserve. That's it. And I think that's one thing that we as men don't do often enough is write things like that to ourselves, say things like that to ourselves. And I'll be honest, I wasn't going to. I would never have sat down and written. Like, I'll journal, but it's normally about, oh, today sucked. or, yeah, it's the negativity bias, right? The negative we've already spoken about. We didn't call it that, but it's the negativity bias. We're wired to look for the negative. And I'll quite often go down that route. And thankfully, because I am a mindfulness practitioner, I'll catch myself and be like, okay, let's reframe. Let's pick three things that I'm grateful for. But I still won't sit down and write something like this to myself. What are your thoughts on something like that? kind of working to, I guess, tell yourself and believe in yourself. It's not the positive affirmation. I mean, I guess it is, but it's not just that. A little bit. Yeah.
Speaker #0
I would call it like your intention or your purpose, right? And so I'll use the example of like 75 hard. You know, a lot of people want to do that because it's, you know, oh, I'll lose weight and it's this mindset thing and everything. But if you're just doing it just to say you did it or, you know, I mean, it's this very like superficial thing. That's why a lot of people I know have done it. They do it, they finish in 75 days, and they just immediately revert right back to the way they were. They put all the weight back on, they're drinking again, all the things. The reason is, again, you never changed you internally. It was this external thing that you were hoping to be, oh, well, if I'll slap this on me, then I'll be that thing, right? It has to be inside out. And so that's where you have to do that inner work of why am I doing this? What's the purpose of me doing this? Is it because in your purpose, you know, what's right for you doesn't. doesn't matter what someone else thinks about it. If it's actually a good purpose for yourself, then go, go for it. Right. Like someone may say, I want to make a million dollars. Okay. Why?
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Well, I want to make a million dollars so I can donate 750,000 to this organization. Great. Okay. That's a, that's a great reason. Okay. Dive into that. Right. Is it, or is it just because I want to buy a Lamborghini? Like, you know what I mean? Like what's, what's the depth of your why? So your, your intention about doing anything, uh, I think is one of the biggest drivers. And then it sinks kind of your your mental state. and your vision, your long-term vision to what influences your day-to-day actions. And that, that purpose, right? If it's pure and something greater than yourself, and for a larger meaning, other than I want my abs to look good, right? You're going to, you're going to push through when the motivation drops off and stick to discipline because it'll, it'll push you through that. And then the other thing I'll add to, which we, we, you alluded to the brotherhood piece. You have to do this work on your own, but I think brotherhood is one of the fastest catalysts for all of this because we will get up in our own head And you'll actually be making progress, but you can't see it for yourself. And if you have a circle of good men who kind of understand who you are, they know what your limitations are, the things you struggled with, and they're actually invested in you succeeding. A lot of times what we need as men isn't like that tough love. It's more of a, hey, bro, actually, you're doing really well.
Speaker #2
Yeah, I am. Yeah,
Speaker #0
dude, I'm telling you, you're doing great. You've already lost five pounds. You've already I can see the muscle building already. Just literally stick to the plan. Do not give up. Um, that external kind of good word. Sometimes it is the tough love. Most of the times it's just the confirmation. Like, no, you're on track. Continue. Um, That is very, very, very powerful in the process. And that's, you know, I'm very grateful for a lot of people poured that into my life when I needed it, when I was learning to kind of set my own value internal monologue that that would drive me towards more success. You know, they confirmed it. Hey, yeah, you're doing it, man. Just hang in there. Don't give up three feet from gold, keep digging. So yeah, that is a huge piece as men that we absolutely have to have. The lone wolf thing will not work, right? Every SEAL has a team. Every soldier has an entire infantry company around him, right? No one goes to battle on their own. So why would you try and do that with your own life? Just, you know, white knuckling it all, trying to grind through it on your own. Leverage the strengths and capabilities of other good men around you.
Speaker #1
Yeah, and I've spoken about this on the show before. I regularly speak about it. There's a fantastic book that's out called The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse. And it's this young boy who can speak to all these different animals and they can speak to him. which I know sounds a little bit ridiculous, but it's fantastic. It's a kid's book, John. That's how it's supposed to go down. Oh, it's not. It's really not. It's for a group. Man, I mean, the kids can read it, but man, if you read it, you'll see it's not for kids. And one specific piece that sticks out in my mind based on what you just said, George, is the boy says to the horse, what's the bravest thing you ever said? And the horse says, help. And then he goes on. And the horse goes on to say. Because asking for help is not quitting. Asking for help is refusing to quit. And man, I love that. I want to get that framed. But that I think is incredibly important is to have that support, right? Like having a men's group or even if it's just a couple of friends that you can lean on for that support. An accountability group, but also somebody who's going to tell you, yeah, you're doing good. But let's stay on track. Not, hey, you're doing good. Now it's time to go. I mean, in a physical challenge, hey, you're doing good. Now it's time to go and get yourself off the rails and eat that gallon of ice cream and pizza and never go to the gym again. It's, hey, you're doing good. Let's stay on track. Let's stay on track together. So I think that's hugely important.
Speaker #0
Yeah. The confirmation is helpful.
Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So there's a part of me. So right now I'm doing public speaking, but I'm looking at doing kind of a big. career pivot. And it's something that's very different to me. And I'm looking at getting into entrepreneurship through acquisition, like buying up small companies and growing them. And there's definitely a part of me that's getting into this analysis paralysis, but then there's also a little bit of self-doubt in there. But then I go back to times I've succeeded. I'm like, hey, I have done good things. I've succeeded. I've... I went to the Naval Academy. I went into the SEAL teams. I'm a good dad. How much do you think overcoming self-doubt isn't necessarily positive affirmations, but rather looking back at the successes that you have had in the past and giving yourself some credit for that?
Speaker #0
I think it's a huge piece of it. I love the way you framed that, at least in my own experience. And what I think I know from kind of just watching people I look up to is. I think at every new phase of growth, whether that's business, personal, family, fitness, any of that, every man is initially confronted with that kind of, oh man, that's bigger and scarier, right? And like your dream should scare you. If you're actually continuing to grow, like the next phase looks just as scary as when you started, right? Because it's just how it goes. And so I think that's normal. So that's like the first kind of word of caution to all the guys listening is if you're feeling that, that's not a negative. Right. Initially, if you stay there, it's a negative. But the initial feeling of like, oh, crap, that's that's a big thing. That's confirmation that you're moving into bigger and better things. And here's the here's the other like lie we believe is that you have to be qualified for anything. I'll tell you right now, I have never been qualified on paper for any job I've ever done, whether it was the army, the corporate world or even now. Right. I don't have any coaching certifications or any of that kind of stuff. The idea that you have to be qualified to do the next big thing is actually. a paradox because no one's ever qualified to step into the next role they've done. You've only been qualified to do the things you've already done.
Speaker #1
Yeah. If you wait until you're qualified, you're never going to do it.
Speaker #0
When you kind of remove that extra pressure on yourself, it's kind of, it's silly how much we hold ourselves back. Um, I think everyone who steps up into something bigger and better because they've reached that new level of growth has the exact same kind of feeling initially. Um, and then it's just kind of acknowledging it for what it is. is, hey, I'm moving outside my comfort zone. Let me pull upon my strengths and rely upon my network of good people to support me. And it's okay if you have those fears. Talk about it with the team that actually has your best interests in mind. navigate through them. But I think that's a normal part of the growth process. I don't think you ever get to this point where it's just like, I'm awesome and perfect and everything I do will always be awesome and perfect. You know, and I think if anyone acts like that, I think that's a huge mask for a lot of insecurity going deep within, you know, I love the way the horse said help. Right. And every, every new time I try to do something, I go ask the smartest, best person I know who can do that better than me and say, how do I need to improve?
Speaker #2
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And a mentor of mine uses this phrase, sorry, last thing. He says, feedback is his favorite F word. I've adopted that for myself too. As men, sometimes you get that feedback, but feedback is my favorite F word because it does give you the perspective you need to figure out how to navigate that next obstacle.
Speaker #2
Well, I mean, it comes back to what we talked about often here is vulnerability. You know, asking for help is just a way of vulnerability. And that's when you really, you know, and vulnerability and asking for help. it takes you out of the lone wolf and actually joins you to somebody else. And, and, and, and then you're willing to learn because like you're asking a question instead of thinking you have all the answers or continually, you know, coming back and believing that narrative again and again and again. We also touched on a little bit about you just kind of hinted there, like that overcompensation, you know, like where people just kind of show up in, in like in a very you know big you know they they overcompensate in the sense of like because they're scared because of that narrative on the inside that's going uh within them um yeah so what like um you know what in your experience like what are some ways and i guess even john like what are some ways that we've seen kind of men overcompensate you know to kind of hide that negative narrative and that limiting belief that you know that you know that's going on in their head they become seals There you go.
Speaker #0
I didn't say it. Yeah,
Speaker #2
there you go. But you're thinking it, George. I can tell. I'm just kidding, right? That's funny. I actually, I don't know. I'm just kidding.
Speaker #0
I know there's a lot of, you know, GBs and SEALs have a lot of jokes for each other. I wouldn't know. I'm never part of either community. So anyway, that's funny though. Yeah. Real quick thing before we answer that one. Yeah. Here's a term for you. Courageously transparent instead of vulnerable. So we use courageous transparency within Elite Sentinel. Um, because if you really think about it, that's what you're doing. You're, you're choosing to let your guard down with the right people. Uh, I think vulnerability is just, there's so much negative connotation around it. It almost sounds like it's not a choice in a way. Uh, and in order to grow, you have to choose to be courageously transparent with the right circle. That's going to give you what you need. So, uh, you can take that around. No, I'm going to fuck it.
Speaker #2
We are going to take that because vulnerability, I got to explain it. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Go for it.
Speaker #0
Well, credit to my co-host, Brandon Blinson. He's the one who coined the term, not me. So I wish I could take credit for it, but it's an amazing way to reframe it.
Speaker #1
I'm sure you've heard Brene Brown's talk on vulnerability and read her books, or if you haven't, then definitely recommend it. I'm not necessarily talking to you, George, but our audience. But, you know, she talks about when she gets on a plane and she tells somebody what she does and she says, I talk about vulnerability and strength. And the guy next to her is like, oh, two different ends of the spectrum. I mean, that's what a lot of men think. A lot of men think vulnerability is weakness. But that courageously transparent, that is vulnerability. It's just a cool name that men are going to understand better, right? Like in the SEAL teams, we had this tactical breathing, which was basically box breathing.
Speaker #2
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Because they had a cool name. We're like, oh, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah. No,
Speaker #2
think of those words right there. I mean, like when you think about vulnerability. you know, it puts me in a state of like, oh my God, like I gotta, you know, it just puts, it almost has a, sadly, a connotation that is negative. Whereas I courageously transparent, I'm like, oh fuck, like, okay, I gotta, I gotta show up. Like I gotta, you know, I gotta put myself out there. You know what I mean? I gotta, I gotta really speak to what's really going on inside me. So, I mean, again, words are so fucking powerful. Exactly. Language is consciousness. And here we are again, you know, discovering that right here. So beautiful.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #2
uh sorry to derail the the question you asked was uh compensation like what are some ways that you know uh and john too like you know john's a seal that's he's obviously he's always over compensating apparently i think i'm just there's a lot of overcompensation he's got a poster behind yeah i think uh it's
Speaker #0
pretty obvious you know you can you can look at kind of like you know popular characters and just pop culture right now you know like andrew tate comes to mind right Um, When I look at someone like that, you know, some of the things he says are actually good, right? Like work hard and grind and all that. I mean, on its surface, yeah, some of those things are factually true. That's what it takes to be successful at business or whatever. What's the intent behind it, right? Here we are again, back. What's the purpose? So when I see someone like that, I just see someone who's looking to glorify self as opposed to actually make an impact right now. Some things can be both, right? You can make impacts for other people that help them greatly and it also serves you well too, right? It's not like it has to be this sacrificial thing, like you can do both. But, you know, look at those types of characters and just kind of ask yourself, you know, who are they really serving? I see that as just very selfish. And so, you know, I think guys latch on to, you know, it's career, money, power, you know, a position like the military that gives you the flair on your chest, the tab on your shoulder, that kind of thing. you know, we, we, we dive into that pretty heavily. That can be a form of overcompensation depth of relationships. Do you have a lot of friends, but none of them that you can say, Hey man, I love you.
Speaker #3
Yeah. Right.
Speaker #0
Yeah. I tell all my friends, I love them now. I used to think that was like gay or something. I can't believe I went so much of my life, like unwilling to, to connect with the guys I truly loved. Some of the guys I deployed with, man, I was like nervous to say, I love you. Why? That's weird. Like we're literally risking our lives together. That's like the ultimate form of brotherhood, you know? So, um, there's a, there's a lot of ways I think it can manifest, but I would just, again, come back to purpose and intention. Uh, you know, it's one thing to say it, but I'm talking about like, what is the real driver behind why a man is doing something? A great man who wants to truly serve others and make a positive impact in the world, whether that's through business or ministry or sports or whatever his arena is. it's very obvious someone who's there to help others and make that impact as opposed to just like extract out of others for themselves and so i think that's one of the biggest forms of overcompensation is through chosen profession you know using that to like pump yourself up and try to compete with others and glorify yourself yeah we uh john and i uh we
Speaker #2
teach for uh this program called my steady mind and there's a module in this nine week thing that they have uh and it's It's about confidence. And, you know, one thing that they... iterate like hey people that are confident act like this people are incompetent you know or unconfident um one and one of the thing is like the loudest person in the room is probably the one that's most insecure you know what i mean and it's just like the one that comes in with all the bravado blah blah blah i'm like i always talk and talk and talk and i'm like oh my god you know and it really makes me think you know it's um when i do experience someone like that i'm like oh i wonder really what's going on inside i wonder what you're trying to overcompensate for in some way
Speaker #1
So that's the road that I was going to go down is, you know, the difference between competence and cockiness. Right. And those who walk in and they're cocky and they can't back it up, they're compensating with that cockiness. They're trying to cover up an insecurity and you never know what that insecurity is. Maybe they do have that major self-doubt about the position they're in. Maybe they have just self-doubt in general. There's a lot of overcompensation there with cockiness. Um, and then it, you know, that, that bleeds over and like, oh, well now I've got to drive the biggest truck. Now I've got to, uh, you know, do this and I've got to bench press the hottest girl. We know them all,
Speaker #3
dude. We know them all. Right. Yeah.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
So I think one of the most obvious tells is a really good man. When someone else is winning, he goes, that's awesome. Congratulations. Yeah.
Speaker #1
Definitely.
Speaker #0
A very insecure man. who's essentially just a teenager trapped in a man's body is the guy who goes tries to either knock him down or be like i can do that better yeah or yeah one's up in somebody totally true like yeah or gets on social media the crabs in the bucket you know like if it when one tries to crawl out the rest will pull it back it's like if you're surrounding yourself with those type of people get
Speaker #2
rid of get out of the motherfucking bucket right just find a way to escape well okay we've talked a lot about you know what all this looks like um um you know how it manifests in our lives. Um, what, so what about like, uh, let's talk about like, how do we begin to change this narrative? How do we begin to change and shift and rewire? So, um, yeah, so what's, what's, you know, I have a question about mindfulness and what kind of role it plays, but if you want to start somewhere else, uh, you know, um, let's go there.
Speaker #0
For men specifically, uh, cause that's our audience on this. Uh, I, I really think again, we're just wired to respond to this and you need to think long term first. you need to think you know it's legacy type type thinking vision true vision for the future where do you want the sum of your life to truly end up right what's the impacts you want to make in other people's lives because when you think in that longer term sense um it starts to you may be in a negative state right now or i'm not that thing yet but this is what i'm going to work towards it's your destination it's your heading so you're actually marching in the right direction now obviously that route is not going to be a straight point a to point b there's going to be twists and turns and setbacks and all kinds of craziness through life. But if you at least have that long-term vision down the line, 10, 20, 30 years, it starts to put into perspective how serious something really is today. And I think this is a lot of what we struggle with is we're so temporal. Today, all these things, I've got to do all this task list, and you're never thinking beyond this week. and It can start to, you lose sight of the big picture and then everything can feel like a setback and everything's a failure and everything just starts to pile on top of itself. Maybe you lost a deal. Okay. If the long-term vision is to have this business be X, Y, and Z over 20 years or something. All right. It's just one loss. Just on to the next one. We're still, the whole vision isn't gone now because we lost the one deal. Right? So I would say that's actually step one is for a man to think about his legacy and the way you can test yourself on where you're at today. to kind of get that hard look in the mirror to know where you need to make the change is if you died right now, who would, you know, would anyone show up to your funeral for one? But two, if they did, hopefully they do, what do you want them to say about you? And what would they actually say? And the gap between those two things is your wake up call to be like, oh crap, all right, I'm just drifting. I'm just going through the motions. I need to clearly take action to change that. Now within that, let's not self-destruct. Back to the self-talk thing here. Okay, now I know where I want to get to. What am I going to start doing? What can I own in my life right now with whatever is up against me? What can I start taking direct action on myself to start moving towards making that vision reality? Maybe it takes you 10 years. Maybe it takes you 20. Those are the types of people who actually achieve real lasting success and impact in the world because they don't let a momentary setback or naysayers or whoever else stop them from achieving their goal, right? I think you guys had Nick Lavery on the show and you get to work with him, right? You know how many people told him he's crazy for trying to, you know, get back on a team after losing his leg and all that kind of stuff. I'm sure the number of people were like, you're insane. Why are you doing this? You're going to have people that can't see the same vision that you do. And so when you're clear about that as a man, it gives you kind of the fortitude to push through that adversity or the doubt of others to bring to fruition the thing that you actually care about. So that was kind of long winded, but that would be the process I advise most men in to start with that kind of thought. process, uh, you know, in that order. And then once you're self-talk and you kind of start to evaluate that, there's some more granular things we can do.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Well, thinking from the end in mind and reverse engineering your life and also filling the gaps you talked about, it's funny because we just had, uh, last week we interviewed, uh, Karen, uh, uh, Solomon's son, who she has a book that's called you're to die for life. And one of the exercises in that book is just that, like who, you know, who's going to show up at your wedding and what are people going to say, you know, your eulogy. And it's just a great way to really wake you up to like, you know.
Speaker #1
Your wedding or your funeral?
Speaker #0
Funeral.
Speaker #2
Funeral? Funeral? Oh, shit.
Speaker #1
You said wedding.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Well, it's the same thing. You know, when you get married,
Speaker #1
it's like dying,
Speaker #3
no? Isn't it? Definitely not. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, man, I got some work to do here. You know, I'm not married, so. You got some work,
Speaker #1
some shadow work.
Speaker #0
I mean things.
Speaker #3
Jesus, God damn. That's hilarious.
Speaker #0
We're going to psychoanalyze you in real time now, Willie. I know, right?
Speaker #3
I feel now I'm getting all hot and now I'm fucking embarrassed. I love you, brother. I love you, man. This is what, I'm kind of apologetic. Rich, man.
Speaker #0
It's just courageous transparency right now. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Speaker #3
Growth moment. Oh God, I know. Okay. I don't know.
Speaker #1
So you talked about the kind of the granular stuff there, George. So what are some of the, I don't know, you talked about long-term, right? Looking at your legacy, what are people going to say at your funeral? Um, so what are some of the, you know, the daily, the weekly habits, practices that could be really powerful in overcoming this self-doubt?
Speaker #0
Yep. So, um, the specific things we walk them in through our program through is, um, first to recognize that everything is mind control. Everything you listen to here, like right now you, you listening to this podcast, I am mind controlling you, right? That, that is kind of a neutral term. Actually, it can either be positive or negative. It's like you, it depends on what you're allowing in. Um, take the awareness of that that everything you consume right if it's all nothing but football and beer you're not gonna grow bro like i don't get me wrong i went to oregon i'm a huge ducks fan like i love me some college football i mean i like barely get the games now because i've got bigger things to accomplish right so i get you even things that are innocuous could end up being bad if it's the only thing you're consuming right so what does your mental diet look like that's That's number one, mind control. um the other the next is self-talk self-talk is the most powerful form of mind control because that's the one that's living rent-free in your head whether you want it to or not so you need to take ownership of that one and start to shift it um and that's where you can use those kind of powerful kind of affirmation like statements um we recommend guys to have a little bit of a morning routine um super simple like just you know you make yourself a basic creed of like this is who i am these are the things i'm becoming uh you know so maybe you're struggling with you know, pornography as an example, right? So you could use statements like, my wife deserves my sexual best. I'm not gonna, you know, I don't need this thing in my life. Statements like that to kind of like divert away from what you have been to what you're becoming, right? And it just has to make sense to you. It doesn't have to, no one's reading this. It's just a little thing to frame for yourself. Hey. These are the things I care about. These are the things I'm going to work on. And putting in those powerful statements like I am this or I will become this and those types of words. It puts you on offense as opposed to just waking up and then something's going to happen. And now you're just like reacting the situation. It's putting your armor on before the day starts really is what it is. Medical armor, right? To kind of say, you know what, then that way, if something does happen, you've already thought about it this morning. Like, no, you know what, I'm not this guy anymore. It just gives you that much more kind of oomph to get over the hurdle. And then eventually you don't need to like condition yourself with those words anymore because you'll have enough tangible proof that you've become the next phase of growth or whatever. So, you know, very tangible one there is getting fit, right? I'm going to lose 10 pounds and have my arms look bigger because of X, Y, and Z, okay? Well, once that actually is accomplished, you don't have to keep like affirming yourself every morning about it because it's in the mirror now, right? So there's. There's a point where you kind of grow out of it, but those are some of the initial steps. Another, another strategy we recommend our guys go through is to read the book called the alter ego effect by Todd Herman. And cause for a lot of guys, they can be really good in some areas of life and then they just totally self-destructing the others. So they're really good at work. They're really capable at work. And then they just like, can't leave work at work. And then their, their marriage is in shambles because they're treating their wife like an employee or whatever. you can create alter egos to help your own brain kind of segment like, all right, I'm not at work now, right? I'm in dad mode now. So that's a great book for guys to really kind of weaponize your mind to work for you as opposed to against you. Really, really good strategies in that one. The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman. It's like a yellow cover with like glasses on it. Super good book. But you can take the concept of that book without having to read it. And it's just that simple. It's like, who do I need to be in each facet of my life? So let's use the work versus home balance there. It would be, okay, George alter ego. Like right now I'm in my podcast alter ego, right? I talk a certain way. I have a certain level of energy. I don't need to be like this with my 10 year old daughter. Right? So when work entrepreneur George is done for the day, you know, I got to hang that alter ego. And so for some people they'll, they'll grab a tangible thing that signals to me, Hey, I'm leaving work at work and now I'm in dad mode or whatever. Right? So when I close up shop for the day. and take the three steps out of my office to be with my family, right? Am I leaving work at work or is it stepping into who I need to be as a dad? I need to be more empathetic, patient, calm, understanding, fun, right? I don't need to be serious, hard hitting, intense, you know, entrepreneur mode anymore. So there's a lot of those kinds of strategies. Um, you know, the alter ego is a good one, uh, that, that guys can really work through, um, that kind of gamify it a little bit. kind of gives you something a little bit tangible to take the mental into something a little bit more physical that you can kind of relate to. And early on, that helps you kind of understand what's happening between heart, brain and body to kind of get in process in the right way. So, you know, men are ultimately physical creatures. We, you know, kind of drag our knuckles around, even if you're a very philosophical, you know, highly cerebral guy, there's still something about just getting in motion and doing that really teaches us a lot about ourselves.
Speaker #2
Yeah. Excellent.
Speaker #1
What else you got, Will? I think, I think George has answered all my questions. Yeah,
Speaker #2
no, I got, I mean, I just want to say one thing about like, you know, that narrative and you mentioned it during, when you're reading, John, your, that statement that you have about yourself is like, when we do that, when we give that I am statement, you know, which is like, that's how it's like, we're calling forth the self. So it's like, that's where, you know, that whole I am, I am, you know, it just kind of wakes us up into, you know, wakes up the self, if we put this online. Uh, instead of like keeping us asleep or, and it works the other way too. If I'm a piece of shit, it's like, that's like how we're going to feel. So it's that those two words are just so incredibly powerful. Um, and yeah, I've like, um, anything else, George, like, uh, I think, uh, I'm going to read this quote, you know, Marianne Williamson for sure, but anything else to kind of put a little bow on this wonderful conversation we've been having today?
Speaker #0
Uh, yeah. So, you know, I think I would just like to encourage all the men listening that, um, wherever you are in your journey, If you've listened this far, good on you. That's obviously an indicator that you're hungry for more, which is a good sign. And so don't turn that off. Don't silence that voice. If you feel compelled and called to like, you know what, I need to get serious about, maybe it's your diet. Maybe it's the way you talk to your wife. Maybe it's the way you talk to yourself. Maybe it's your work, whatever. Whatever the thing is that's kind of like, you know, dwelling in your brain right now, like, that area of my life needs to improve. Don't. don't just stuff that down wrestle with that for a second and acknowledge that Good men have flaws. None of us are perfect. I am a very flawed man and continue to be and make all kinds of mistakes. And that's the game is just figuring out how to make less of them every day. When you reach out for help, I have yet to see someone genuinely reach out to someone for help in an area when they are truly like, hey, I want to improve this area of my life and not have them get the help that they asked for. When you volunteer... and demonstrate to someone else that you're willing to receive input, people are surprisingly willing to go above and beyond to help you because it's rewarding for them too. And man to man, this is something I just want to call out and we'll end with this. If you're feeling like, oh, I don't want to burden my friends with this because, you know, they're busy too. They've got all these things going on. That is an absolute lie. And here's here, let me reframe this in a way to just really drive it home. If I call John up and say, John, I've got this problem. I really need your help with it. Do you have, do you have a couple of minutes to talk about it? John is not going to feel like, oh, great. I got a deal with George. John again. It's, um, wow. He thought I'm the guy he's trusting with this problem. Men feel honored when another guy brings their, their situation to them. So if you have that lie playing in your head of, I'll just be a burden to them. They won't want to hear it. I sincerely doubt it, bro. If you reach up and open up to a guy that you respect and trust and say like, man, I really need to talk through this and help you or have you help me get through this situation. That guy's going to feel so good about that. He might feel better than you.
Speaker #2
It's a real honor.
Speaker #0
It is how we're designed as men is to sharpen each other, to support each other and help each other achieve more. And when you do, it's just this winning equation and you'll see how addictive it becomes. And that's why it's really easy for me to say to all my friends, Yep.
Speaker #1
It's definitely, it's gotten there, man. It's gotten there to where it's actually, I feel really comfortable saying it. And if I don't say it, like Will and I, whenever we sign off, hey, I love you, man. Like if we don't say it, then I'm like, whoa. That felt a little weird. He's mad at me. It's like a romantic relationship. Oh, no, you didn't say it.
Speaker #0
The problem with the English language is we only have one word for love. And I think in the Greek, I think there's like four different types of love. There's agape, there's eros, there's all the different ones. So we really need to like define a new term for like what brotherly love is versus love for your wife. You know, like I love pizza, but you know, I sure love my wife a lot more than pizza.
Speaker #3
I don't know,
Speaker #1
man. Pizza's pretty good.
Speaker #3
It doesn't talk back to you either. Jesus. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. Oh, man. I'm just going to do a lot else for you. I'm still single. I wonder why, you know. All right.
Speaker #1
Well, George, this has been fantastic, man. For people who want to, you know, maybe reach out to you for some of this work or they just wanted to find you and connect with you to ask you a couple of questions. Maybe they're just looking around for some help. What's the best way for them to find you?
Speaker #0
Yeah. So if you just want to like direct message me, the fastest way to do that will be either X, Twitter, whatever you call it. or LinkedIn, probably the best methods to reach me. I am on all the platforms, but I'm most responsive on those ones. And then you can always check the website. It's theelitesentinel.com. I've got a contact form and all that kind of stuff. So you can reach out there. And yeah, happy to discuss with anyone. I just want men to win. Will, I want to hear that quote. Yeah,
Speaker #2
let's fucking do it. Yeah, let's do it. I actually had this written though when I first moved to New York with my big dream. I had this written on my wall in my bedroom. And this is Mary. Marianne Williamson, and she says, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were, uh, we were born to make manifest the glory of God that with this, that is within us, not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we liberate from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others. There it is.
Speaker #1
I don't know what else to say, man. Yeah. That's where it is. I think that's how we wrap it up.
Speaker #2
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Um, yeah. Well, gentlemen, this has been fantastic. George, thank you so much, man. Will, as always, thank you, brother. Yeah, of course. And for our audience, thank you for tuning in. Yeah. And until next time, take care, everyone.
Speaker #2
Thank you. Thank you, George.
Speaker #1
Bye-bye.
Speaker #4
Thank you for joining us today. We hope you walk away with some new tools and insights to guide you on your life journey. New episodes are being published every week, so please join us again for some meaningful discussion. For more information, please check out mentalkingmindfulness.com.