Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting cover
Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting cover
Stop Wasting Your Life

Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting

Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting

37min |05/08/2025
Play
Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting cover
Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting cover
Stop Wasting Your Life

Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting

Are You Still Connected to Your Ex? The Power of Energy Chord Cutting

37min |05/08/2025
Play

Description

This episode of Stop Wasting Your Life features Ava and her energy healer, Jamelle, diving deep into energy cords and how they shape relationships, especially with our partners. They explore what energy cords are, how they create lingering attachments after breakups, and why cutting these cords is key to emotional freedom. Ava shares her own struggle with still feeling tied to her ex-boyfriend, and Jamelle breaks down the spiritual and psychological sides of these bonds. The conversation also touches on how church teachings and religious beliefs influence our perception of energy and relationships, offering a thought-provoking look at balancing faith and energetic healing. Jamelle gives practical steps for cord-cutting and setting healthy boundaries, helping listeners move forward with clarity and power.

Listen to the first episode with Jamelle here: https://smartlink.ausha.co/stop-wasting-your-life/jamelle-zablow-maloney


Jamelle's practice: Bare Roots Energy


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Transcription

  • Speaker #0

    Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and I'm here once again with Jamel, my wonderful energy healer, who is also a lifestyle and wellness coach. We met last week and talked a lot about energy and it was just a wonderful conversation. I thought, let's meet again and finish our conversation about energy. Welcome to Stop Stop wasting your life. The podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. So we left off talking about energy cords and I think we stopped. We were talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords. So I think we will begin talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords and just continue with our talk about energy.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Well, thank you for having me on. And energy cords are very real. There's a lot of mystification around them because we can't see them with our eyes. And so if you just do. a lovely Google search, like what is an energy cord? You'll hear a lot of etheric type of explanations. Energy cords though, are actual physical electrical exchanges and they do travel over distance, which is fascinating because if you think about all of the people that you know all over the world, you know, how many cords do you have that are still attached to them? And I do believe that distance does make a difference with that electrical exchange. But when you have a relationship and you have put time and effort and emotion and thought into a relationship, an energy cord is created. There's also an energy cord that's created between you and your mother as soon as you begin to form in utero. And that doesn't break. We can cut energy cords and sometimes we can cut them permanently. And sometimes we need to cut them more than one time. Because if we continue to think about the individual that we've cut a cord with. and we continue to source our energy from that relationship, then the cord will rebuild itself. So in terms of a breakup, which is why most people come to me for cord cuttings, we can cut that cord and we can stop that energy exchange. So a cord is built when you have a relationship with an individual from a couple of different places in the body. We can build them from our heart, our sacral center, and sometimes our solar plexus. That's where I've seen most of And these cords will build themselves because we are attending to the relationship by thinking about it, by acting on it, by engaging in the relationship with the other person. And when we like, you know, like I said in our last episode, when you have a relationship with a person and you're sourcing your energy from them, we get into the mode of forgetting that we can source our own energy. And so we start to depend on that person. They start to depend on us. And that makes the energy cord stronger. So when you're in a really long-term relationship, like 20, 30, 40, 50 years, those energy cords are really strong. They're really big. And if you have two, you know, let's say you have two retirees. They've been together since high school. They're madly in love and they do everything together. And that works for them to have a cooperative relationship by finishing each other's sentences, you know, thinking the same thing all the time, having a routine. a daily routine that they both engage in that's always the same. You know, you'll see behaviors like one person in the relationship will have to ask the other person permission or they'll have to be like, let me, you know, let me run this by my spouse just to make sure that they're okay with it. You see a lot of that dependency going on. If it feeds and supports the relationship, then I say absolutely keep that dependency going. You know, if it's working for you and if it's creating the life that you both want to live, do it. However, do make sure that it is helping you create the life that both of you want to live, not that just one of you want to live. Because when we're sourcing our energy through another person and from another person, we are absolutely impacting them. We are all electrical batteries here on the planet, and we're not meant to source other people's energies. We do it a little bit as mothers, especially until our children reach puberty, and then they can source it themselves completely. But when we're in a relationship and we're sourcing our energy from the other person, it creates a codependency that sometimes it's healthy to break that codependency, especially when we're younger and in relationships. And so, you know, I've never had an individual who is in their 60s or 70s who are still married to their spouse. I've never had them come in and say, I want you to cut my cord. You know, but it is healthy to do it. I cut my cord from my husband and my mom on a regular basis just so I can make sure that I'm sourcing my own energy and that I'm not pulling it from them. Because I don't want to go into the living room and start to talk to John and suck. all the energy out of him. You know, I want to be able to source that myself. That's a part of my self responsibility. And I don't want him to come into the kitchen and source his energy for me, even though he does, because he interrupts me constantly. And so, you know, that's, that's a piece of that, that cord cutting that effect will have is it will make you more independent and more self responsible for pulling in the energy yourself and using what you have instead of what somebody else has.

  • Speaker #0

    So my ex-boyfriend and I, we had a... a very close, healthy, loving relationship. Like overall, the relationship was a wonderful relationship. And I have nothing but utmost respect for him. He's an amazing person. But I do feel like I did become very dependent on him for some things because we just matched each other really well. Like I was the anxious ball of fire and he was the cool patient cucumber. And Is that something that like, should I have been cutting an energy cord in that relationship so that I wasn't as dependent on him for those?

  • Speaker #1

    That's a really good question. Cord cuttings in that situation are really helpful because it does make you more independent and it, it kind of puts, not kind of, it puts everything back on your plate so you can see what you're dealing with and it helps you realize. oh, this is my stuff. Like I need to clean this up in me. I have this insecurity that I'm trying to get my boyfriend to meet, but that insecurity is actually within me. And so when you cut that cord, it stops that energy exchange so that your body physiologically remembers, oh yeah, I can handle this. I don't need him to handle it for me. And when you start to do that, you not only become more independent in your own thoughts, but you come you become more energetically independent. And when you're energetically independent, it leads to so many things. It opens up more self-confidence, more efficiency, productivity, because you are literally putting yourself back in the driver's seat. And that's what I love about the source light infusions that I do. They also help to put you back into the driver's seat so that you're driving your own ship and You know, maybe you do have a co-captain, but your co-captain's not in charge. Your co-captain is there for you to bounce ideas off of. And, you know, that's what a partner is. That's why it's important to move through relationships in a partnership instead of, you know, I like to say it's a collaborative codependency. Because when two people are happy in a relationship, and they're not energetically engaging in energetic hygiene, but they're not engaging in energetic hygiene, they are going to be sourcing from each other. And so... maybe the relationship is great and that's great. It should be great. However, cutting cords is just kind of one of those maintenance items to take care of just so everybody stays in their own lane. Because if we come home from a really stressful day at work, the last thing that we need to be doing is taking all of that stress and throwing it on somebody else. And when we're in a relationship and we have that codependency going and it's already flowing, we we come home and we really do expect our spouse to clear it up for us, but that's not their job. They just got home from a stressful day at work too. Yeah. And it's our job to do our own work.

  • Speaker #0

    Can cord cutting ever be bad for a relationship? Cause I feel like if I were to go back to my ex-boyfriend and say, you should go get, cut your cord from me. I feel like I would also be like, no, actually don't do that. Don't cut your cord for me. What if you cut your cord for me? And you're like, actually. she should be more patient with me and I don't want to deal with this anymore. Like, can cord cutting ever be bad?

  • Speaker #1

    So no, not like that. I think that there are really specific situations where it could be bad. Like if you've got a cord, I don't know, I can't think of a situation actually. I was thinking like maybe if somebody was in a coma and they didn't know what was happening, but that, I mean, if somebody was in a coma, I think that the energy exchange would probably stop anyway. So no, and I know what you're getting at. Cause it's scary when you think about cutting a cord, you are cutting that dependency. But at the same time, what is that shift going to look like? What it normally looks like, and this is what I've seen every single time, is that I've had treatments where I've cut people's cords from others. When you cut that cord, that dependency, that energy exchange stops. And then the other person who's not in the room, they don't know what's going on. They feel this like a little loss. And then they remember what that energy exchange did for them. And they long for it because it's comfortable. But it also, you know, after about a day, it gives them pause to remember their own authenticity, their own authentic authentication. But it's... The cord and the energy exchange doesn't keep us together. People break up and they have energy cords that are still attached all day long, all over the planet. And that's not what keeps us together. It's literally just an energy exchange that helps you get more energy and it helps him get more energy. And I would say that the misnomer there is the perception that that energy exchange is driving the relationship and keeping the relationship intact. Because that's not the function that the energy cord plays. That's the function that us as individual decision makers and action takers make. We make those decisions to stay with the person because of how they make us feel. And that energy cord there between you guys, it does impact how you feel a little bit. But when you cut it on a regular basis, you remember who you are, and then you learn how to be in partnership with the other person while you are who you are. So you don't lose your sovereignty. You are still 100% you next to another person who is 100% him. And together you move forward as individuals instead of, you know, like one unit trying to be one unit. I think if we were meant to be molded into one thing, our bodies would look a lot different.

  • Speaker #0

    like maybe we would be being out of clay or something like in my pottery class yeah there you go it's because we were talking about pottery so if I feel like I don't really have the knee or the wants to go connect with other men right now because I still long for the connection that I had with my ex-boyfriend does that mean that I'm still connected to him or Like, I just have no desire to go connect with anyone else because I still miss him. Like, is that something that is, am I still connected to him?

  • Speaker #1

    You could be. So, you know, because in the last treatment we did do a cord cutting. So we cut the cord. And if you get your cord cut, you know, I think a lot of people think that once you get your cord cut, it's like over. And if you keep putting thought into the relationship, the cord will start to rebuild itself. And it doesn't rebuild itself as strongly. But the cord may still be there, especially because you've only cut it one time. The breakup is new and the relationship was a long relationship. And so it takes a couple times to get them to be completely cut and to not come back. And what happens while you're doing that, you know, let's say you go to an energy healer like every two or three weeks and they do a cord cutting on you on a regular basis. Do that. But you also have to think about the relationship in terms of what do I need to do to move on? And what is my heart telling me? If your heart is telling you that you still love this person, there's the, the, the cord cuttings will help with that. But love is love. And so your love either needs to be placed, your love and attention needs to be placed somewhere else, or the relationship needs to be rectified. And so in this moment, you get to choose, okay, I've got this love, you know, just separate yourself from it for a second. I've got this love. It's in a bucket. Where am I going to pour it? You know, and you get to choose that. Reg- regardless of where your energy cords are attacking you. You know, you could have fallen in love with Pope Francis and he's left the planet. And let's say you worked with him closely and you have an energy cord that's still tied to him and you think about him every day. At some point, you're going to realize that there's something more efficient for you to put your energy towards. And so then you can pour your love onto that new thing.

  • Speaker #0

    I think it's hard for me also because where we left it was kind of in this like gray area. Like it was a, let's go work on ourselves and maybe we get back together and maybe we don't. And that's kind of like, we'll just place that in God's hands and decide like as time goes on, but it's hard because I don't know, like, do I hold on to this love that I have or do I cut? the cord and try and move on? Or is there like a happy medium or like, what is, what does that look like? Especially because I remember when we talked in, we talked about cord cutting and I said, well, I don't want to cut it forever. Like. Because what if we get back together? Can you explain that to me a little bit?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. I love this question because all of us deal with this. We all deal with this gray area, whether it's in a relationship or another situation. I say, yes, cut the cord because it's good energetic hygiene. You need to be sourcing your own energy. He needs to be sourcing his own energy. And with that action, you both become more authentic and more stabilized in your individuality. When it comes to that gray area, not knowing what to do, that is... our walk as a human, not knowing and being okay with the unknown. And this is where faith comes in. But if you want to get really scientific about it, you know, you just get up and you do the thing, you get up and you take the actions to do the next best thing, whether there's a gray area there or not. If you have agreed to go on and work on yourself, then do that. But I will say that's the hardest thing to do. That's the hardest advice to take. I mean... the Dalai Lama could be in this room and tell me to go work on myself and I will go home and question it, you know, and I, it doesn't even matter that this is the field that I'm in and that, you know, that's what I do all day long. It's, it's my profession now. And, but I still struggle to take that advice from people because first of all, we're perfect and we don't have anything to work on, you know, which is a complete misnomer. And the second thing is, is, uh, it's a lot of work. Like every Everybody kind of shies away from this inner work because it's a lot of work. Like you have to force yourself to stop and take pause. And without that silence, you don't really know where to go. You don't know where to put your energy to. You're not really sure which, which road to start down. And at the end of the day, whatever road you take is going to lead you to where you're going and you'll shift your direction. You'll shift your goal and your target. And... it's all a shift. But when it comes to the energy cords, I say, yes, do cut the energy cords, just simply to keep up with your own energetic cleanliness. Because you want to be running that energy straight through you, not from somebody else, but from source and from the planet. You know, we've got two sources of energy that come into our body and, and makes everything, it makes everything run. And when we keep that clean, then we can move through these experiences like breakups. death job losses things like that you know like diagnoses we can move through these issues of life more pleasantly and more internally harmonious in a more internally harmonious way so can chords be stronger with certain people like because him and i were so connected

  • Speaker #0

    Is our cord like stronger than someone else's cord with their spouse? What does that look like?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. They can be stronger. The longer the relationship and the more dedication that's there, the stronger the cords are. I've seen cords that are crumbling because the relationship is over and nobody has physically gone in to cut them. And so they're just kind of like dying away. And eventually cords that don't have energy sourced through them, they'll, you know, they'll die away on their own. And sometimes they have to be, you know, consciously removed as well. So, yeah, cords have different strengths. They all have different looks and different consistencies. And, yeah, it gets kind of funny.

  • Speaker #0

    So when you cut my cord, was it strong?

  • Speaker #1

    Oh, I think yours was the feathery one. Yes,

  • Speaker #0

    I was going to say, can you tell me about my feathery cord?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah, because I did one a couple days after that one. And the... Next one that I did like looked like leopard print. Really? It's so bizarre. But yours, it's hard to describe them in ranges of strength and weakness because yours was large and it kind of looked like a fountain coming out of your body and then a fountain coming out of his body. And it was blue and white, very feathery and light and airy and it wasn't compacted. you know, it was like a free flowing channel of energy. It was a, it wasn't like a free flowing channel of energy. It was, it was a very pleasant one and it looked like a healthy one. And I would say that even when you have healthy cords like that, go ahead and cut it. Cause it's going to rebuild itself anyway. I mean, they always do. And if you've got a cord that is that healthy, then I would say, you know, it's a pretty healthy relationship. And And... You know, I think that there's probably practitioners out there that would say you don't really need to cut them. And like I said, with the example with the old retired couple, if it's working for your relationship, and it's not harming anybody, if both parties are autonomous, sovereign, authentic, and they can live the way that they want to live. and those cords are attached because they're always going to reattach themselves anyway, then, you know, I don't see, I think there's probably better places to put your attention and your money when it comes to cutting cords in situations like that.

  • Speaker #0

    So what was the, why did my cord have feathers? Like, what did that mean?

  • Speaker #1

    It didn't have feathers. It just looked like, you know, like floaty and feathery like that. And it looked really healthy. It didn't have, there was, there was no debris in it and it didn't feel wishy-washy. It didn't feel nervous. It just felt. I'm trying to think of an example. You know, when you walk in to your house, you know, your home, you know, that this is the place that holds you. You can cry here. You can have joy here. You can have all the emotions here. You'll be accepted. There's no judgment. It's just home. It's the place that we find within ourselves. And it's the place that we walk into at the end of the night. And that's what it felt like. It felt like complete comfort. So that particular cord was a really healthy one. Not all of them are like that. Some of them do need to be cut because the other individual is toxic. And so in cases like that, that's when I say to clients, please come in every two weeks and let's cut it until this relationship's over.

  • Speaker #0

    So do partner's cords look the same? Like if he were to come to you, would his cord look the same or is there a chance his would look?

  • Speaker #1

    disgusting and you're like cut this girl out of your life right now yeah so i would just i would think that there is a chance for them to look different but i would love to know that i would love for a couple to come in and let me do that i would think that they would look the same but it it's possible that they wouldn't because they would both be running through two different energy fields who knows i haven't had the opportunity or the honor to

  • Speaker #0

    do that for a couple at the same time but i would love to well if we get back together i will force him to come with me yeah but do they do they ever change looks like what if i come in next time actually tomorrow yeah when i come in tomorrow is there a chance that my cord could look completely different yeah absolutely they do they i they change consistency with the energy flowing through them so if the energy flowing through you is

  • Speaker #1

    drastically different than it was the last time I saw you, then I would. I would think it might look different, but then again, it might not. I've I'm trying to think of the individuals that I've done multiple cord cuttings on and they have looked different every time.

  • Speaker #0

    Really? That's so interesting.

  • Speaker #1

    It is. It's pretty bizarre. I cannot wait until somebody invents the glasses that we can just put on and we can all see it.

  • Speaker #0

    We can see it. I know you're going to be like, I told you guys. Is there anything else about like. cords that you want to talk about?

  • Speaker #1

    You know, energy cords, it's just a piece of it. The energy cord is just a piece of it. And I think what's fascinating for me as a mom are the cords that come from our heart to our children. Those are not readily cut, cuttable. It's very hard to sever them. And sometimes as adults, it's really good to cut the cords from your parents. I've, I've done a formal official. cord cutting from myself and my parents. And it's very scary and liberating when you do that from your parents, at least in a situation like mine, because my parents were very loving. We had a good relationship. And here I am in my, when did I do that? I think I was 38 or 39 when I did the formal official cord cutting and there was a ceremony involved and I was scared because my parents helped me a lot, you know, like. They're my therapist. And so doing that as a formal ceremony and really saying to all of the energies that are like, okay, God, here, I'm going to do this on my own. That's what was scary. It's the impact afterwards, the self responsibility that you have to take. And that's really what's scary about it in the first place is stepping up and taking that self responsibility to say, you know what, it's hard, but I got this. I have it within me and I'm going to to pull it out and I can handle it even if it's hard. And in doing so, we honor the sovereignty of other individuals like our parents, our friends and our, you know, people that we've had relationships with because we go to them for so much and forget that they're also dealing with all of their internal stuff. And, you know, that helps us remember that.

  • Speaker #0

    Can you cut cords from like years and years and years ago? Like, is there a chance that I'm holding on to a cord from a relationship from... Years and years and years ago.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Yeah. There are. Yeah. We do hold on to those. And, you know, if two people end a relationship and they really hardly ever think of each other, like a middle school relationship is a great example. You don't think about the people you go out with in middle school. They don't think about it.

  • Speaker #0

    Say, I don't even know if I can name.

  • Speaker #1

    So those chords, they just stop working. They're just like. And I really would be kind of funny to see a court on a middle schooler. But anyway, so yeah, they'll stop running out. But the ones that stick around, they stick around because there's still something like unfinished business or there's still an emotion there. The other person, like let's say you have a boyfriend in Nevada and you haven't seen him in eight years and he still really, really loves you, but you hate him. So in that case, I've seen... cords that like on one end they're kind of like kind of starting to trickle and die away and they get really tight and smaller and then there's this other the other end of it is big and it's trying to like siphon all of this energy out of a small tube and so if you think of it let's say you've got a rubber straw one end of it will be kind of clamped closed and the other one will be more open, trying to source energy. And so What effect that causes is that every time you think about that boy in Nevada, you get this like gross feeling and it reduces your frequency and you start to feel like, oh my gosh, just because you've simply thought about him. But every time he thinks about you, he gets excited and he wants to be with you and he wants to find somebody just like you. And so he's still pulling some energy. And so, yes, cut those cords because he needs to figure that out on his own and you need your energy back. You don't want to... feel like that when you think about him it's so much easier to move on with life if you can think about all these people in your past in a more pleasant way because then you don't get stuck on it and also your frequency doesn't lower itself so that's so interesting i'm

  • Speaker #0

    really curious about what tomorrow what my energy core is going to look like one thing that i do that i really have found healing is is in is voice memos like i'll record a voice memo And then later on, I can go back. Like I was listening to my voice memos from like two days after we broke up. And I was first of all, like, I will never share that with anybody because there were some naughty words and a lot of anger. But then like three days later, the voice memo was a more compassionate, loving, I'm sorry, voice memo. So I really enjoy that. It's like journaling, but faster because I feel like I, I like journaling, but. I live such a busy life that sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't have time for that. And then I just don't do it. So having the voice memo is really nice because if I'm in my car and I feel like ranting about something and then I just whip out my phone and that's genius voice memo.

  • Speaker #1

    That's perfect. That's exactly what the process calls for. So yeah, good job. You're doing your work.

  • Speaker #0

    I'm chasing those thoughts.

  • Speaker #1

    Yes.

  • Speaker #0

    One thing I'm really curious about growing up in the church is kind of this like misconception about energy?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Can I talk about that?

  • Speaker #0

    Yes. Okay. I feel like I was kind of always told that energy is kind of like a voodoo or just don't follow energy. Like that's not related to Christ in a good way. Can you address that and the misconceptions with that?

  • Speaker #1

    Yes. And that's, that's a big chunk to chew. So let's start here. Let's talk about the, the advice that you get when you're in church, you're in an indoctrinated society that's telling you not to go get energy work. I believe that that advice comes from a place of love in terms of, you know, don't go down the street and get your energy tangled up with a voodoo healer or, you know, like a witch or, you know, whoever out there is practicing that I don't understand. They label people. I think that there's a piece of that advice that doesn't want you to forget your faith and it doesn't want you to, you know. obviously leave the church. Don't leave the church because you found something, something that's powerful. And so there's, there's this give and take because we can find powerful things in church that are very powerful. Every time we go to church and those goosebumps come, it's because we're in the presence of divinity. And in the church, we receive healing. We can receive spontaneous healing and we can receive healing. And what we receive in church is subtle healing. You know, I can go I can go to church and I can heal my heart. I can't heal my broken leg. You know, it's going to take six weeks for my leg to break if it's broken to heal. And we do receive that in other places too.

  • Speaker #0

    When we start to do our inner work, sometimes we go through the route of church, sometimes through the route of spirituality, you know, however you get there. Sometimes trauma leads you to your healing. A lot of times it does. And there are a lot of different modalities and church is one of them. And church is a powerful modality that can hold you when you're going through your sacred process of release and healing. You always have a community and you have somebody in that community, you know, your priest. who you can turn to who can help you with these things it's an incredibly important system to be a part of there is a huge misconception out there that reiki let's just talk about reiki and for specifications many people think reiki is a religious practice and it's not religious at all it's been around the planet since the beginning of time and dr yusui the one who coined Reiki and brought it into mainstream practice in Japan, he did not receive... this information from a church. He received it through meditation and he kept it pretty medical, but what he experienced and what he took to the people in Japan in the 30s, in the 20s and 30s was this experience of inner divinity. But we don't have to separate that in a way that keeps us away from our religion or away from our church. Both of those things absolutely exist. And they exist. side by side and they always have existed side by side. But the connection between energy healing and spirituality and the institution of the church is both very divided, but very, very much entwined too, because it's all inside. It's all inner spirituality and work, you know?

  • Speaker #1

    So can I go to energy healing and learn about it and take part in it? and also be a Christian?

  • Speaker #0

    Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I, the way that I teach it, I teach it pretty traditionally and I do not bring faith into any of my classes or any of my women's circles or any of the other healing circles, just because I want everyone to have a place there. I am myself a Christian. My husband is Catholic. I practice energy work every day. And I, my focus is to understand the science behind it. So like, I really would love to have a best friend that was like a physicist.

  • Speaker #1

    So we've talked a lot about energy bodies. And what should my listeners know about energy bodies?

  • Speaker #0

    So and I do get this question, you know, a similar question a lot. Like, what should I do to protect myself? That's the question I get a lot is what should I do to protect myself? And I like to tell people there are a lot of different things to do to protect yourself. But think about it. like this. Instead of thinking about I need to protect myself from other people, think about how can I hold myself in a high frequency so that whatever other people are doing doesn't impact me. And the way that we do that is by building a field within ourselves so that it radiates outside, but building a field that is supportive of our whole system. In order to build a field around you that is supportive of your whole system, you know, first of all, you've got your electricity going for you. So that's great. Everybody's got electricity. Otherwise, we wouldn't be moving. So there you have your conduit and you've got the energy for it. The rest of the work is how are you moving through your day? Are you moving through your day in a positive way? And are you paying attention to those little tiny subtle feelings? When you've got those two things online, you can build your energy field every morning with a daily practice. So that your field is big enough and reflective enough so that whatever anyone else is bringing at you or throwing at you, you can bounce it back off of yourself. And you can become a mirror so that they see their own behaviors, but their, you know, quote unquote negative behaviors don't come and penetrate your field so much. Because we're always going to be sharing energy. It's just the nature. Our energy fields are quite big. you cannot walk into the grocery store without unless there's hardly anybody there without sharing an energy field with the person you're next to. It's, it's just physics, you know, it's a, it's a field, it's an electromagnetic field that, well, part of it's electromagnetic that we all, you know, it all washes together as we're close to each other. The best thing to do is really to flood your system with light. And you can do that through visualization. The funny thing about all of this is the line between reality and imagination. We used to think it was a hard and fast line that was there permanently. We can draw it. And... Because this whole field of Reiki and energy healing are coming about and the world's waking up to it, that line is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And what we're realizing is that what we see in our imagination is real. We can make it real. There actually isn't a line between what I imagine and what I experience. That's what makes meditation and visualization so powerful. And that's where really the fruit of energy healing is. Because then you can take these practices out with you and live with them.

  • Speaker #1

    So in relation to what we've talked about today, what advice would you give someone to help them live a purposeful and intentional life? Oh,

  • Speaker #0

    that's a big question. I would say always make a focus to have an energetic cleanse, you know, engage in energy hygiene. Do it on a daily basis. because not only is it going to transform your internal landscape it will transform your life and no it's not going to transform your life in a one week but in two weeks you will see a difference and in three weeks you will see a big difference and in a year your entire life will be different yeah and you're the driver so you get to decide what it looks like too uh-huh wonderful

  • Speaker #1

    well thank you so much again for letting me hound you with questions it's been a pleasure Again, I think you are so cool. One of the coolest people I've ever met. And I wish we could sit here for three and a half hours and just talk all things energy because it is so interesting and you have so much wisdom to give. But and how might someone find you or if they want to talk to you?

  • Speaker #0

    Yeah, so I do online and in person appointments and you can find me at bare roots energy.com.

  • Speaker #1

    Bare roots energy.com. Yeah, go check her out. She's amazing.

  • Speaker #0

    Thank you very much.

  • Speaker #1

    And just to conclude our episode, just a little reminder that Hawaii House giveaway, you can go to our website at www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab. Find all the ways you can enter into that to win. I hope you guys enjoyed the part two of this episode, and I look forward to seeing you next week.

  • Speaker #2

    Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop. wasting your life we hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose intention and authenticity if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to leave us a good review give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter for more information go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week

Chapters

  • Introduction and Guest Introduction

    00:00

  • Understanding Energy Cords

    00:59

  • Cutting Energy Cords in Relationships

    02:12

  • Dependency and Codependency in Relationships

    04:28

  • Personal Experiences with Energy Cords

    05:57

  • The Process and Effects of Cord Cutting

    09:03

  • Maintaining Energetic Hygiene

    15:15

  • Emotional Safety and Comfort

    20:45

  • Cutting Old Energy Cords

    21:38

  • Living a Purposeful Life

    25:14

  • Energy Misconceptions in Religion

    28:00

  • Conclusion and Contact Information

    35:58

Description

This episode of Stop Wasting Your Life features Ava and her energy healer, Jamelle, diving deep into energy cords and how they shape relationships, especially with our partners. They explore what energy cords are, how they create lingering attachments after breakups, and why cutting these cords is key to emotional freedom. Ava shares her own struggle with still feeling tied to her ex-boyfriend, and Jamelle breaks down the spiritual and psychological sides of these bonds. The conversation also touches on how church teachings and religious beliefs influence our perception of energy and relationships, offering a thought-provoking look at balancing faith and energetic healing. Jamelle gives practical steps for cord-cutting and setting healthy boundaries, helping listeners move forward with clarity and power.

Listen to the first episode with Jamelle here: https://smartlink.ausha.co/stop-wasting-your-life/jamelle-zablow-maloney


Jamelle's practice: Bare Roots Energy


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Stop Wasting Your Life is produced by KK Media Co.


Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

  • Speaker #0

    Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and I'm here once again with Jamel, my wonderful energy healer, who is also a lifestyle and wellness coach. We met last week and talked a lot about energy and it was just a wonderful conversation. I thought, let's meet again and finish our conversation about energy. Welcome to Stop Stop wasting your life. The podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. So we left off talking about energy cords and I think we stopped. We were talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords. So I think we will begin talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords and just continue with our talk about energy.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Well, thank you for having me on. And energy cords are very real. There's a lot of mystification around them because we can't see them with our eyes. And so if you just do. a lovely Google search, like what is an energy cord? You'll hear a lot of etheric type of explanations. Energy cords though, are actual physical electrical exchanges and they do travel over distance, which is fascinating because if you think about all of the people that you know all over the world, you know, how many cords do you have that are still attached to them? And I do believe that distance does make a difference with that electrical exchange. But when you have a relationship and you have put time and effort and emotion and thought into a relationship, an energy cord is created. There's also an energy cord that's created between you and your mother as soon as you begin to form in utero. And that doesn't break. We can cut energy cords and sometimes we can cut them permanently. And sometimes we need to cut them more than one time. Because if we continue to think about the individual that we've cut a cord with. and we continue to source our energy from that relationship, then the cord will rebuild itself. So in terms of a breakup, which is why most people come to me for cord cuttings, we can cut that cord and we can stop that energy exchange. So a cord is built when you have a relationship with an individual from a couple of different places in the body. We can build them from our heart, our sacral center, and sometimes our solar plexus. That's where I've seen most of And these cords will build themselves because we are attending to the relationship by thinking about it, by acting on it, by engaging in the relationship with the other person. And when we like, you know, like I said in our last episode, when you have a relationship with a person and you're sourcing your energy from them, we get into the mode of forgetting that we can source our own energy. And so we start to depend on that person. They start to depend on us. And that makes the energy cord stronger. So when you're in a really long-term relationship, like 20, 30, 40, 50 years, those energy cords are really strong. They're really big. And if you have two, you know, let's say you have two retirees. They've been together since high school. They're madly in love and they do everything together. And that works for them to have a cooperative relationship by finishing each other's sentences, you know, thinking the same thing all the time, having a routine. a daily routine that they both engage in that's always the same. You know, you'll see behaviors like one person in the relationship will have to ask the other person permission or they'll have to be like, let me, you know, let me run this by my spouse just to make sure that they're okay with it. You see a lot of that dependency going on. If it feeds and supports the relationship, then I say absolutely keep that dependency going. You know, if it's working for you and if it's creating the life that you both want to live, do it. However, do make sure that it is helping you create the life that both of you want to live, not that just one of you want to live. Because when we're sourcing our energy through another person and from another person, we are absolutely impacting them. We are all electrical batteries here on the planet, and we're not meant to source other people's energies. We do it a little bit as mothers, especially until our children reach puberty, and then they can source it themselves completely. But when we're in a relationship and we're sourcing our energy from the other person, it creates a codependency that sometimes it's healthy to break that codependency, especially when we're younger and in relationships. And so, you know, I've never had an individual who is in their 60s or 70s who are still married to their spouse. I've never had them come in and say, I want you to cut my cord. You know, but it is healthy to do it. I cut my cord from my husband and my mom on a regular basis just so I can make sure that I'm sourcing my own energy and that I'm not pulling it from them. Because I don't want to go into the living room and start to talk to John and suck. all the energy out of him. You know, I want to be able to source that myself. That's a part of my self responsibility. And I don't want him to come into the kitchen and source his energy for me, even though he does, because he interrupts me constantly. And so, you know, that's, that's a piece of that, that cord cutting that effect will have is it will make you more independent and more self responsible for pulling in the energy yourself and using what you have instead of what somebody else has.

  • Speaker #0

    So my ex-boyfriend and I, we had a... a very close, healthy, loving relationship. Like overall, the relationship was a wonderful relationship. And I have nothing but utmost respect for him. He's an amazing person. But I do feel like I did become very dependent on him for some things because we just matched each other really well. Like I was the anxious ball of fire and he was the cool patient cucumber. And Is that something that like, should I have been cutting an energy cord in that relationship so that I wasn't as dependent on him for those?

  • Speaker #1

    That's a really good question. Cord cuttings in that situation are really helpful because it does make you more independent and it, it kind of puts, not kind of, it puts everything back on your plate so you can see what you're dealing with and it helps you realize. oh, this is my stuff. Like I need to clean this up in me. I have this insecurity that I'm trying to get my boyfriend to meet, but that insecurity is actually within me. And so when you cut that cord, it stops that energy exchange so that your body physiologically remembers, oh yeah, I can handle this. I don't need him to handle it for me. And when you start to do that, you not only become more independent in your own thoughts, but you come you become more energetically independent. And when you're energetically independent, it leads to so many things. It opens up more self-confidence, more efficiency, productivity, because you are literally putting yourself back in the driver's seat. And that's what I love about the source light infusions that I do. They also help to put you back into the driver's seat so that you're driving your own ship and You know, maybe you do have a co-captain, but your co-captain's not in charge. Your co-captain is there for you to bounce ideas off of. And, you know, that's what a partner is. That's why it's important to move through relationships in a partnership instead of, you know, I like to say it's a collaborative codependency. Because when two people are happy in a relationship, and they're not energetically engaging in energetic hygiene, but they're not engaging in energetic hygiene, they are going to be sourcing from each other. And so... maybe the relationship is great and that's great. It should be great. However, cutting cords is just kind of one of those maintenance items to take care of just so everybody stays in their own lane. Because if we come home from a really stressful day at work, the last thing that we need to be doing is taking all of that stress and throwing it on somebody else. And when we're in a relationship and we have that codependency going and it's already flowing, we we come home and we really do expect our spouse to clear it up for us, but that's not their job. They just got home from a stressful day at work too. Yeah. And it's our job to do our own work.

  • Speaker #0

    Can cord cutting ever be bad for a relationship? Cause I feel like if I were to go back to my ex-boyfriend and say, you should go get, cut your cord from me. I feel like I would also be like, no, actually don't do that. Don't cut your cord for me. What if you cut your cord for me? And you're like, actually. she should be more patient with me and I don't want to deal with this anymore. Like, can cord cutting ever be bad?

  • Speaker #1

    So no, not like that. I think that there are really specific situations where it could be bad. Like if you've got a cord, I don't know, I can't think of a situation actually. I was thinking like maybe if somebody was in a coma and they didn't know what was happening, but that, I mean, if somebody was in a coma, I think that the energy exchange would probably stop anyway. So no, and I know what you're getting at. Cause it's scary when you think about cutting a cord, you are cutting that dependency. But at the same time, what is that shift going to look like? What it normally looks like, and this is what I've seen every single time, is that I've had treatments where I've cut people's cords from others. When you cut that cord, that dependency, that energy exchange stops. And then the other person who's not in the room, they don't know what's going on. They feel this like a little loss. And then they remember what that energy exchange did for them. And they long for it because it's comfortable. But it also, you know, after about a day, it gives them pause to remember their own authenticity, their own authentic authentication. But it's... The cord and the energy exchange doesn't keep us together. People break up and they have energy cords that are still attached all day long, all over the planet. And that's not what keeps us together. It's literally just an energy exchange that helps you get more energy and it helps him get more energy. And I would say that the misnomer there is the perception that that energy exchange is driving the relationship and keeping the relationship intact. Because that's not the function that the energy cord plays. That's the function that us as individual decision makers and action takers make. We make those decisions to stay with the person because of how they make us feel. And that energy cord there between you guys, it does impact how you feel a little bit. But when you cut it on a regular basis, you remember who you are, and then you learn how to be in partnership with the other person while you are who you are. So you don't lose your sovereignty. You are still 100% you next to another person who is 100% him. And together you move forward as individuals instead of, you know, like one unit trying to be one unit. I think if we were meant to be molded into one thing, our bodies would look a lot different.

  • Speaker #0

    like maybe we would be being out of clay or something like in my pottery class yeah there you go it's because we were talking about pottery so if I feel like I don't really have the knee or the wants to go connect with other men right now because I still long for the connection that I had with my ex-boyfriend does that mean that I'm still connected to him or Like, I just have no desire to go connect with anyone else because I still miss him. Like, is that something that is, am I still connected to him?

  • Speaker #1

    You could be. So, you know, because in the last treatment we did do a cord cutting. So we cut the cord. And if you get your cord cut, you know, I think a lot of people think that once you get your cord cut, it's like over. And if you keep putting thought into the relationship, the cord will start to rebuild itself. And it doesn't rebuild itself as strongly. But the cord may still be there, especially because you've only cut it one time. The breakup is new and the relationship was a long relationship. And so it takes a couple times to get them to be completely cut and to not come back. And what happens while you're doing that, you know, let's say you go to an energy healer like every two or three weeks and they do a cord cutting on you on a regular basis. Do that. But you also have to think about the relationship in terms of what do I need to do to move on? And what is my heart telling me? If your heart is telling you that you still love this person, there's the, the, the cord cuttings will help with that. But love is love. And so your love either needs to be placed, your love and attention needs to be placed somewhere else, or the relationship needs to be rectified. And so in this moment, you get to choose, okay, I've got this love, you know, just separate yourself from it for a second. I've got this love. It's in a bucket. Where am I going to pour it? You know, and you get to choose that. Reg- regardless of where your energy cords are attacking you. You know, you could have fallen in love with Pope Francis and he's left the planet. And let's say you worked with him closely and you have an energy cord that's still tied to him and you think about him every day. At some point, you're going to realize that there's something more efficient for you to put your energy towards. And so then you can pour your love onto that new thing.

  • Speaker #0

    I think it's hard for me also because where we left it was kind of in this like gray area. Like it was a, let's go work on ourselves and maybe we get back together and maybe we don't. And that's kind of like, we'll just place that in God's hands and decide like as time goes on, but it's hard because I don't know, like, do I hold on to this love that I have or do I cut? the cord and try and move on? Or is there like a happy medium or like, what is, what does that look like? Especially because I remember when we talked in, we talked about cord cutting and I said, well, I don't want to cut it forever. Like. Because what if we get back together? Can you explain that to me a little bit?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. I love this question because all of us deal with this. We all deal with this gray area, whether it's in a relationship or another situation. I say, yes, cut the cord because it's good energetic hygiene. You need to be sourcing your own energy. He needs to be sourcing his own energy. And with that action, you both become more authentic and more stabilized in your individuality. When it comes to that gray area, not knowing what to do, that is... our walk as a human, not knowing and being okay with the unknown. And this is where faith comes in. But if you want to get really scientific about it, you know, you just get up and you do the thing, you get up and you take the actions to do the next best thing, whether there's a gray area there or not. If you have agreed to go on and work on yourself, then do that. But I will say that's the hardest thing to do. That's the hardest advice to take. I mean... the Dalai Lama could be in this room and tell me to go work on myself and I will go home and question it, you know, and I, it doesn't even matter that this is the field that I'm in and that, you know, that's what I do all day long. It's, it's my profession now. And, but I still struggle to take that advice from people because first of all, we're perfect and we don't have anything to work on, you know, which is a complete misnomer. And the second thing is, is, uh, it's a lot of work. Like every Everybody kind of shies away from this inner work because it's a lot of work. Like you have to force yourself to stop and take pause. And without that silence, you don't really know where to go. You don't know where to put your energy to. You're not really sure which, which road to start down. And at the end of the day, whatever road you take is going to lead you to where you're going and you'll shift your direction. You'll shift your goal and your target. And... it's all a shift. But when it comes to the energy cords, I say, yes, do cut the energy cords, just simply to keep up with your own energetic cleanliness. Because you want to be running that energy straight through you, not from somebody else, but from source and from the planet. You know, we've got two sources of energy that come into our body and, and makes everything, it makes everything run. And when we keep that clean, then we can move through these experiences like breakups. death job losses things like that you know like diagnoses we can move through these issues of life more pleasantly and more internally harmonious in a more internally harmonious way so can chords be stronger with certain people like because him and i were so connected

  • Speaker #0

    Is our cord like stronger than someone else's cord with their spouse? What does that look like?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. They can be stronger. The longer the relationship and the more dedication that's there, the stronger the cords are. I've seen cords that are crumbling because the relationship is over and nobody has physically gone in to cut them. And so they're just kind of like dying away. And eventually cords that don't have energy sourced through them, they'll, you know, they'll die away on their own. And sometimes they have to be, you know, consciously removed as well. So, yeah, cords have different strengths. They all have different looks and different consistencies. And, yeah, it gets kind of funny.

  • Speaker #0

    So when you cut my cord, was it strong?

  • Speaker #1

    Oh, I think yours was the feathery one. Yes,

  • Speaker #0

    I was going to say, can you tell me about my feathery cord?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah, because I did one a couple days after that one. And the... Next one that I did like looked like leopard print. Really? It's so bizarre. But yours, it's hard to describe them in ranges of strength and weakness because yours was large and it kind of looked like a fountain coming out of your body and then a fountain coming out of his body. And it was blue and white, very feathery and light and airy and it wasn't compacted. you know, it was like a free flowing channel of energy. It was a, it wasn't like a free flowing channel of energy. It was, it was a very pleasant one and it looked like a healthy one. And I would say that even when you have healthy cords like that, go ahead and cut it. Cause it's going to rebuild itself anyway. I mean, they always do. And if you've got a cord that is that healthy, then I would say, you know, it's a pretty healthy relationship. And And... You know, I think that there's probably practitioners out there that would say you don't really need to cut them. And like I said, with the example with the old retired couple, if it's working for your relationship, and it's not harming anybody, if both parties are autonomous, sovereign, authentic, and they can live the way that they want to live. and those cords are attached because they're always going to reattach themselves anyway, then, you know, I don't see, I think there's probably better places to put your attention and your money when it comes to cutting cords in situations like that.

  • Speaker #0

    So what was the, why did my cord have feathers? Like, what did that mean?

  • Speaker #1

    It didn't have feathers. It just looked like, you know, like floaty and feathery like that. And it looked really healthy. It didn't have, there was, there was no debris in it and it didn't feel wishy-washy. It didn't feel nervous. It just felt. I'm trying to think of an example. You know, when you walk in to your house, you know, your home, you know, that this is the place that holds you. You can cry here. You can have joy here. You can have all the emotions here. You'll be accepted. There's no judgment. It's just home. It's the place that we find within ourselves. And it's the place that we walk into at the end of the night. And that's what it felt like. It felt like complete comfort. So that particular cord was a really healthy one. Not all of them are like that. Some of them do need to be cut because the other individual is toxic. And so in cases like that, that's when I say to clients, please come in every two weeks and let's cut it until this relationship's over.

  • Speaker #0

    So do partner's cords look the same? Like if he were to come to you, would his cord look the same or is there a chance his would look?

  • Speaker #1

    disgusting and you're like cut this girl out of your life right now yeah so i would just i would think that there is a chance for them to look different but i would love to know that i would love for a couple to come in and let me do that i would think that they would look the same but it it's possible that they wouldn't because they would both be running through two different energy fields who knows i haven't had the opportunity or the honor to

  • Speaker #0

    do that for a couple at the same time but i would love to well if we get back together i will force him to come with me yeah but do they do they ever change looks like what if i come in next time actually tomorrow yeah when i come in tomorrow is there a chance that my cord could look completely different yeah absolutely they do they i they change consistency with the energy flowing through them so if the energy flowing through you is

  • Speaker #1

    drastically different than it was the last time I saw you, then I would. I would think it might look different, but then again, it might not. I've I'm trying to think of the individuals that I've done multiple cord cuttings on and they have looked different every time.

  • Speaker #0

    Really? That's so interesting.

  • Speaker #1

    It is. It's pretty bizarre. I cannot wait until somebody invents the glasses that we can just put on and we can all see it.

  • Speaker #0

    We can see it. I know you're going to be like, I told you guys. Is there anything else about like. cords that you want to talk about?

  • Speaker #1

    You know, energy cords, it's just a piece of it. The energy cord is just a piece of it. And I think what's fascinating for me as a mom are the cords that come from our heart to our children. Those are not readily cut, cuttable. It's very hard to sever them. And sometimes as adults, it's really good to cut the cords from your parents. I've, I've done a formal official. cord cutting from myself and my parents. And it's very scary and liberating when you do that from your parents, at least in a situation like mine, because my parents were very loving. We had a good relationship. And here I am in my, when did I do that? I think I was 38 or 39 when I did the formal official cord cutting and there was a ceremony involved and I was scared because my parents helped me a lot, you know, like. They're my therapist. And so doing that as a formal ceremony and really saying to all of the energies that are like, okay, God, here, I'm going to do this on my own. That's what was scary. It's the impact afterwards, the self responsibility that you have to take. And that's really what's scary about it in the first place is stepping up and taking that self responsibility to say, you know what, it's hard, but I got this. I have it within me and I'm going to to pull it out and I can handle it even if it's hard. And in doing so, we honor the sovereignty of other individuals like our parents, our friends and our, you know, people that we've had relationships with because we go to them for so much and forget that they're also dealing with all of their internal stuff. And, you know, that helps us remember that.

  • Speaker #0

    Can you cut cords from like years and years and years ago? Like, is there a chance that I'm holding on to a cord from a relationship from... Years and years and years ago.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Yeah. There are. Yeah. We do hold on to those. And, you know, if two people end a relationship and they really hardly ever think of each other, like a middle school relationship is a great example. You don't think about the people you go out with in middle school. They don't think about it.

  • Speaker #0

    Say, I don't even know if I can name.

  • Speaker #1

    So those chords, they just stop working. They're just like. And I really would be kind of funny to see a court on a middle schooler. But anyway, so yeah, they'll stop running out. But the ones that stick around, they stick around because there's still something like unfinished business or there's still an emotion there. The other person, like let's say you have a boyfriend in Nevada and you haven't seen him in eight years and he still really, really loves you, but you hate him. So in that case, I've seen... cords that like on one end they're kind of like kind of starting to trickle and die away and they get really tight and smaller and then there's this other the other end of it is big and it's trying to like siphon all of this energy out of a small tube and so if you think of it let's say you've got a rubber straw one end of it will be kind of clamped closed and the other one will be more open, trying to source energy. And so What effect that causes is that every time you think about that boy in Nevada, you get this like gross feeling and it reduces your frequency and you start to feel like, oh my gosh, just because you've simply thought about him. But every time he thinks about you, he gets excited and he wants to be with you and he wants to find somebody just like you. And so he's still pulling some energy. And so, yes, cut those cords because he needs to figure that out on his own and you need your energy back. You don't want to... feel like that when you think about him it's so much easier to move on with life if you can think about all these people in your past in a more pleasant way because then you don't get stuck on it and also your frequency doesn't lower itself so that's so interesting i'm

  • Speaker #0

    really curious about what tomorrow what my energy core is going to look like one thing that i do that i really have found healing is is in is voice memos like i'll record a voice memo And then later on, I can go back. Like I was listening to my voice memos from like two days after we broke up. And I was first of all, like, I will never share that with anybody because there were some naughty words and a lot of anger. But then like three days later, the voice memo was a more compassionate, loving, I'm sorry, voice memo. So I really enjoy that. It's like journaling, but faster because I feel like I, I like journaling, but. I live such a busy life that sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't have time for that. And then I just don't do it. So having the voice memo is really nice because if I'm in my car and I feel like ranting about something and then I just whip out my phone and that's genius voice memo.

  • Speaker #1

    That's perfect. That's exactly what the process calls for. So yeah, good job. You're doing your work.

  • Speaker #0

    I'm chasing those thoughts.

  • Speaker #1

    Yes.

  • Speaker #0

    One thing I'm really curious about growing up in the church is kind of this like misconception about energy?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Can I talk about that?

  • Speaker #0

    Yes. Okay. I feel like I was kind of always told that energy is kind of like a voodoo or just don't follow energy. Like that's not related to Christ in a good way. Can you address that and the misconceptions with that?

  • Speaker #1

    Yes. And that's, that's a big chunk to chew. So let's start here. Let's talk about the, the advice that you get when you're in church, you're in an indoctrinated society that's telling you not to go get energy work. I believe that that advice comes from a place of love in terms of, you know, don't go down the street and get your energy tangled up with a voodoo healer or, you know, like a witch or, you know, whoever out there is practicing that I don't understand. They label people. I think that there's a piece of that advice that doesn't want you to forget your faith and it doesn't want you to, you know. obviously leave the church. Don't leave the church because you found something, something that's powerful. And so there's, there's this give and take because we can find powerful things in church that are very powerful. Every time we go to church and those goosebumps come, it's because we're in the presence of divinity. And in the church, we receive healing. We can receive spontaneous healing and we can receive healing. And what we receive in church is subtle healing. You know, I can go I can go to church and I can heal my heart. I can't heal my broken leg. You know, it's going to take six weeks for my leg to break if it's broken to heal. And we do receive that in other places too.

  • Speaker #0

    When we start to do our inner work, sometimes we go through the route of church, sometimes through the route of spirituality, you know, however you get there. Sometimes trauma leads you to your healing. A lot of times it does. And there are a lot of different modalities and church is one of them. And church is a powerful modality that can hold you when you're going through your sacred process of release and healing. You always have a community and you have somebody in that community, you know, your priest. who you can turn to who can help you with these things it's an incredibly important system to be a part of there is a huge misconception out there that reiki let's just talk about reiki and for specifications many people think reiki is a religious practice and it's not religious at all it's been around the planet since the beginning of time and dr yusui the one who coined Reiki and brought it into mainstream practice in Japan, he did not receive... this information from a church. He received it through meditation and he kept it pretty medical, but what he experienced and what he took to the people in Japan in the 30s, in the 20s and 30s was this experience of inner divinity. But we don't have to separate that in a way that keeps us away from our religion or away from our church. Both of those things absolutely exist. And they exist. side by side and they always have existed side by side. But the connection between energy healing and spirituality and the institution of the church is both very divided, but very, very much entwined too, because it's all inside. It's all inner spirituality and work, you know?

  • Speaker #1

    So can I go to energy healing and learn about it and take part in it? and also be a Christian?

  • Speaker #0

    Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I, the way that I teach it, I teach it pretty traditionally and I do not bring faith into any of my classes or any of my women's circles or any of the other healing circles, just because I want everyone to have a place there. I am myself a Christian. My husband is Catholic. I practice energy work every day. And I, my focus is to understand the science behind it. So like, I really would love to have a best friend that was like a physicist.

  • Speaker #1

    So we've talked a lot about energy bodies. And what should my listeners know about energy bodies?

  • Speaker #0

    So and I do get this question, you know, a similar question a lot. Like, what should I do to protect myself? That's the question I get a lot is what should I do to protect myself? And I like to tell people there are a lot of different things to do to protect yourself. But think about it. like this. Instead of thinking about I need to protect myself from other people, think about how can I hold myself in a high frequency so that whatever other people are doing doesn't impact me. And the way that we do that is by building a field within ourselves so that it radiates outside, but building a field that is supportive of our whole system. In order to build a field around you that is supportive of your whole system, you know, first of all, you've got your electricity going for you. So that's great. Everybody's got electricity. Otherwise, we wouldn't be moving. So there you have your conduit and you've got the energy for it. The rest of the work is how are you moving through your day? Are you moving through your day in a positive way? And are you paying attention to those little tiny subtle feelings? When you've got those two things online, you can build your energy field every morning with a daily practice. So that your field is big enough and reflective enough so that whatever anyone else is bringing at you or throwing at you, you can bounce it back off of yourself. And you can become a mirror so that they see their own behaviors, but their, you know, quote unquote negative behaviors don't come and penetrate your field so much. Because we're always going to be sharing energy. It's just the nature. Our energy fields are quite big. you cannot walk into the grocery store without unless there's hardly anybody there without sharing an energy field with the person you're next to. It's, it's just physics, you know, it's a, it's a field, it's an electromagnetic field that, well, part of it's electromagnetic that we all, you know, it all washes together as we're close to each other. The best thing to do is really to flood your system with light. And you can do that through visualization. The funny thing about all of this is the line between reality and imagination. We used to think it was a hard and fast line that was there permanently. We can draw it. And... Because this whole field of Reiki and energy healing are coming about and the world's waking up to it, that line is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And what we're realizing is that what we see in our imagination is real. We can make it real. There actually isn't a line between what I imagine and what I experience. That's what makes meditation and visualization so powerful. And that's where really the fruit of energy healing is. Because then you can take these practices out with you and live with them.

  • Speaker #1

    So in relation to what we've talked about today, what advice would you give someone to help them live a purposeful and intentional life? Oh,

  • Speaker #0

    that's a big question. I would say always make a focus to have an energetic cleanse, you know, engage in energy hygiene. Do it on a daily basis. because not only is it going to transform your internal landscape it will transform your life and no it's not going to transform your life in a one week but in two weeks you will see a difference and in three weeks you will see a big difference and in a year your entire life will be different yeah and you're the driver so you get to decide what it looks like too uh-huh wonderful

  • Speaker #1

    well thank you so much again for letting me hound you with questions it's been a pleasure Again, I think you are so cool. One of the coolest people I've ever met. And I wish we could sit here for three and a half hours and just talk all things energy because it is so interesting and you have so much wisdom to give. But and how might someone find you or if they want to talk to you?

  • Speaker #0

    Yeah, so I do online and in person appointments and you can find me at bare roots energy.com.

  • Speaker #1

    Bare roots energy.com. Yeah, go check her out. She's amazing.

  • Speaker #0

    Thank you very much.

  • Speaker #1

    And just to conclude our episode, just a little reminder that Hawaii House giveaway, you can go to our website at www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab. Find all the ways you can enter into that to win. I hope you guys enjoyed the part two of this episode, and I look forward to seeing you next week.

  • Speaker #2

    Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop. wasting your life we hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose intention and authenticity if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to leave us a good review give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter for more information go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week

Chapters

  • Introduction and Guest Introduction

    00:00

  • Understanding Energy Cords

    00:59

  • Cutting Energy Cords in Relationships

    02:12

  • Dependency and Codependency in Relationships

    04:28

  • Personal Experiences with Energy Cords

    05:57

  • The Process and Effects of Cord Cutting

    09:03

  • Maintaining Energetic Hygiene

    15:15

  • Emotional Safety and Comfort

    20:45

  • Cutting Old Energy Cords

    21:38

  • Living a Purposeful Life

    25:14

  • Energy Misconceptions in Religion

    28:00

  • Conclusion and Contact Information

    35:58

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Description

This episode of Stop Wasting Your Life features Ava and her energy healer, Jamelle, diving deep into energy cords and how they shape relationships, especially with our partners. They explore what energy cords are, how they create lingering attachments after breakups, and why cutting these cords is key to emotional freedom. Ava shares her own struggle with still feeling tied to her ex-boyfriend, and Jamelle breaks down the spiritual and psychological sides of these bonds. The conversation also touches on how church teachings and religious beliefs influence our perception of energy and relationships, offering a thought-provoking look at balancing faith and energetic healing. Jamelle gives practical steps for cord-cutting and setting healthy boundaries, helping listeners move forward with clarity and power.

Listen to the first episode with Jamelle here: https://smartlink.ausha.co/stop-wasting-your-life/jamelle-zablow-maloney


Jamelle's practice: Bare Roots Energy


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Stop Wasting Your Life is produced by KK Media Co.


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Transcription

  • Speaker #0

    Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and I'm here once again with Jamel, my wonderful energy healer, who is also a lifestyle and wellness coach. We met last week and talked a lot about energy and it was just a wonderful conversation. I thought, let's meet again and finish our conversation about energy. Welcome to Stop Stop wasting your life. The podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. So we left off talking about energy cords and I think we stopped. We were talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords. So I think we will begin talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords and just continue with our talk about energy.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Well, thank you for having me on. And energy cords are very real. There's a lot of mystification around them because we can't see them with our eyes. And so if you just do. a lovely Google search, like what is an energy cord? You'll hear a lot of etheric type of explanations. Energy cords though, are actual physical electrical exchanges and they do travel over distance, which is fascinating because if you think about all of the people that you know all over the world, you know, how many cords do you have that are still attached to them? And I do believe that distance does make a difference with that electrical exchange. But when you have a relationship and you have put time and effort and emotion and thought into a relationship, an energy cord is created. There's also an energy cord that's created between you and your mother as soon as you begin to form in utero. And that doesn't break. We can cut energy cords and sometimes we can cut them permanently. And sometimes we need to cut them more than one time. Because if we continue to think about the individual that we've cut a cord with. and we continue to source our energy from that relationship, then the cord will rebuild itself. So in terms of a breakup, which is why most people come to me for cord cuttings, we can cut that cord and we can stop that energy exchange. So a cord is built when you have a relationship with an individual from a couple of different places in the body. We can build them from our heart, our sacral center, and sometimes our solar plexus. That's where I've seen most of And these cords will build themselves because we are attending to the relationship by thinking about it, by acting on it, by engaging in the relationship with the other person. And when we like, you know, like I said in our last episode, when you have a relationship with a person and you're sourcing your energy from them, we get into the mode of forgetting that we can source our own energy. And so we start to depend on that person. They start to depend on us. And that makes the energy cord stronger. So when you're in a really long-term relationship, like 20, 30, 40, 50 years, those energy cords are really strong. They're really big. And if you have two, you know, let's say you have two retirees. They've been together since high school. They're madly in love and they do everything together. And that works for them to have a cooperative relationship by finishing each other's sentences, you know, thinking the same thing all the time, having a routine. a daily routine that they both engage in that's always the same. You know, you'll see behaviors like one person in the relationship will have to ask the other person permission or they'll have to be like, let me, you know, let me run this by my spouse just to make sure that they're okay with it. You see a lot of that dependency going on. If it feeds and supports the relationship, then I say absolutely keep that dependency going. You know, if it's working for you and if it's creating the life that you both want to live, do it. However, do make sure that it is helping you create the life that both of you want to live, not that just one of you want to live. Because when we're sourcing our energy through another person and from another person, we are absolutely impacting them. We are all electrical batteries here on the planet, and we're not meant to source other people's energies. We do it a little bit as mothers, especially until our children reach puberty, and then they can source it themselves completely. But when we're in a relationship and we're sourcing our energy from the other person, it creates a codependency that sometimes it's healthy to break that codependency, especially when we're younger and in relationships. And so, you know, I've never had an individual who is in their 60s or 70s who are still married to their spouse. I've never had them come in and say, I want you to cut my cord. You know, but it is healthy to do it. I cut my cord from my husband and my mom on a regular basis just so I can make sure that I'm sourcing my own energy and that I'm not pulling it from them. Because I don't want to go into the living room and start to talk to John and suck. all the energy out of him. You know, I want to be able to source that myself. That's a part of my self responsibility. And I don't want him to come into the kitchen and source his energy for me, even though he does, because he interrupts me constantly. And so, you know, that's, that's a piece of that, that cord cutting that effect will have is it will make you more independent and more self responsible for pulling in the energy yourself and using what you have instead of what somebody else has.

  • Speaker #0

    So my ex-boyfriend and I, we had a... a very close, healthy, loving relationship. Like overall, the relationship was a wonderful relationship. And I have nothing but utmost respect for him. He's an amazing person. But I do feel like I did become very dependent on him for some things because we just matched each other really well. Like I was the anxious ball of fire and he was the cool patient cucumber. And Is that something that like, should I have been cutting an energy cord in that relationship so that I wasn't as dependent on him for those?

  • Speaker #1

    That's a really good question. Cord cuttings in that situation are really helpful because it does make you more independent and it, it kind of puts, not kind of, it puts everything back on your plate so you can see what you're dealing with and it helps you realize. oh, this is my stuff. Like I need to clean this up in me. I have this insecurity that I'm trying to get my boyfriend to meet, but that insecurity is actually within me. And so when you cut that cord, it stops that energy exchange so that your body physiologically remembers, oh yeah, I can handle this. I don't need him to handle it for me. And when you start to do that, you not only become more independent in your own thoughts, but you come you become more energetically independent. And when you're energetically independent, it leads to so many things. It opens up more self-confidence, more efficiency, productivity, because you are literally putting yourself back in the driver's seat. And that's what I love about the source light infusions that I do. They also help to put you back into the driver's seat so that you're driving your own ship and You know, maybe you do have a co-captain, but your co-captain's not in charge. Your co-captain is there for you to bounce ideas off of. And, you know, that's what a partner is. That's why it's important to move through relationships in a partnership instead of, you know, I like to say it's a collaborative codependency. Because when two people are happy in a relationship, and they're not energetically engaging in energetic hygiene, but they're not engaging in energetic hygiene, they are going to be sourcing from each other. And so... maybe the relationship is great and that's great. It should be great. However, cutting cords is just kind of one of those maintenance items to take care of just so everybody stays in their own lane. Because if we come home from a really stressful day at work, the last thing that we need to be doing is taking all of that stress and throwing it on somebody else. And when we're in a relationship and we have that codependency going and it's already flowing, we we come home and we really do expect our spouse to clear it up for us, but that's not their job. They just got home from a stressful day at work too. Yeah. And it's our job to do our own work.

  • Speaker #0

    Can cord cutting ever be bad for a relationship? Cause I feel like if I were to go back to my ex-boyfriend and say, you should go get, cut your cord from me. I feel like I would also be like, no, actually don't do that. Don't cut your cord for me. What if you cut your cord for me? And you're like, actually. she should be more patient with me and I don't want to deal with this anymore. Like, can cord cutting ever be bad?

  • Speaker #1

    So no, not like that. I think that there are really specific situations where it could be bad. Like if you've got a cord, I don't know, I can't think of a situation actually. I was thinking like maybe if somebody was in a coma and they didn't know what was happening, but that, I mean, if somebody was in a coma, I think that the energy exchange would probably stop anyway. So no, and I know what you're getting at. Cause it's scary when you think about cutting a cord, you are cutting that dependency. But at the same time, what is that shift going to look like? What it normally looks like, and this is what I've seen every single time, is that I've had treatments where I've cut people's cords from others. When you cut that cord, that dependency, that energy exchange stops. And then the other person who's not in the room, they don't know what's going on. They feel this like a little loss. And then they remember what that energy exchange did for them. And they long for it because it's comfortable. But it also, you know, after about a day, it gives them pause to remember their own authenticity, their own authentic authentication. But it's... The cord and the energy exchange doesn't keep us together. People break up and they have energy cords that are still attached all day long, all over the planet. And that's not what keeps us together. It's literally just an energy exchange that helps you get more energy and it helps him get more energy. And I would say that the misnomer there is the perception that that energy exchange is driving the relationship and keeping the relationship intact. Because that's not the function that the energy cord plays. That's the function that us as individual decision makers and action takers make. We make those decisions to stay with the person because of how they make us feel. And that energy cord there between you guys, it does impact how you feel a little bit. But when you cut it on a regular basis, you remember who you are, and then you learn how to be in partnership with the other person while you are who you are. So you don't lose your sovereignty. You are still 100% you next to another person who is 100% him. And together you move forward as individuals instead of, you know, like one unit trying to be one unit. I think if we were meant to be molded into one thing, our bodies would look a lot different.

  • Speaker #0

    like maybe we would be being out of clay or something like in my pottery class yeah there you go it's because we were talking about pottery so if I feel like I don't really have the knee or the wants to go connect with other men right now because I still long for the connection that I had with my ex-boyfriend does that mean that I'm still connected to him or Like, I just have no desire to go connect with anyone else because I still miss him. Like, is that something that is, am I still connected to him?

  • Speaker #1

    You could be. So, you know, because in the last treatment we did do a cord cutting. So we cut the cord. And if you get your cord cut, you know, I think a lot of people think that once you get your cord cut, it's like over. And if you keep putting thought into the relationship, the cord will start to rebuild itself. And it doesn't rebuild itself as strongly. But the cord may still be there, especially because you've only cut it one time. The breakup is new and the relationship was a long relationship. And so it takes a couple times to get them to be completely cut and to not come back. And what happens while you're doing that, you know, let's say you go to an energy healer like every two or three weeks and they do a cord cutting on you on a regular basis. Do that. But you also have to think about the relationship in terms of what do I need to do to move on? And what is my heart telling me? If your heart is telling you that you still love this person, there's the, the, the cord cuttings will help with that. But love is love. And so your love either needs to be placed, your love and attention needs to be placed somewhere else, or the relationship needs to be rectified. And so in this moment, you get to choose, okay, I've got this love, you know, just separate yourself from it for a second. I've got this love. It's in a bucket. Where am I going to pour it? You know, and you get to choose that. Reg- regardless of where your energy cords are attacking you. You know, you could have fallen in love with Pope Francis and he's left the planet. And let's say you worked with him closely and you have an energy cord that's still tied to him and you think about him every day. At some point, you're going to realize that there's something more efficient for you to put your energy towards. And so then you can pour your love onto that new thing.

  • Speaker #0

    I think it's hard for me also because where we left it was kind of in this like gray area. Like it was a, let's go work on ourselves and maybe we get back together and maybe we don't. And that's kind of like, we'll just place that in God's hands and decide like as time goes on, but it's hard because I don't know, like, do I hold on to this love that I have or do I cut? the cord and try and move on? Or is there like a happy medium or like, what is, what does that look like? Especially because I remember when we talked in, we talked about cord cutting and I said, well, I don't want to cut it forever. Like. Because what if we get back together? Can you explain that to me a little bit?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. I love this question because all of us deal with this. We all deal with this gray area, whether it's in a relationship or another situation. I say, yes, cut the cord because it's good energetic hygiene. You need to be sourcing your own energy. He needs to be sourcing his own energy. And with that action, you both become more authentic and more stabilized in your individuality. When it comes to that gray area, not knowing what to do, that is... our walk as a human, not knowing and being okay with the unknown. And this is where faith comes in. But if you want to get really scientific about it, you know, you just get up and you do the thing, you get up and you take the actions to do the next best thing, whether there's a gray area there or not. If you have agreed to go on and work on yourself, then do that. But I will say that's the hardest thing to do. That's the hardest advice to take. I mean... the Dalai Lama could be in this room and tell me to go work on myself and I will go home and question it, you know, and I, it doesn't even matter that this is the field that I'm in and that, you know, that's what I do all day long. It's, it's my profession now. And, but I still struggle to take that advice from people because first of all, we're perfect and we don't have anything to work on, you know, which is a complete misnomer. And the second thing is, is, uh, it's a lot of work. Like every Everybody kind of shies away from this inner work because it's a lot of work. Like you have to force yourself to stop and take pause. And without that silence, you don't really know where to go. You don't know where to put your energy to. You're not really sure which, which road to start down. And at the end of the day, whatever road you take is going to lead you to where you're going and you'll shift your direction. You'll shift your goal and your target. And... it's all a shift. But when it comes to the energy cords, I say, yes, do cut the energy cords, just simply to keep up with your own energetic cleanliness. Because you want to be running that energy straight through you, not from somebody else, but from source and from the planet. You know, we've got two sources of energy that come into our body and, and makes everything, it makes everything run. And when we keep that clean, then we can move through these experiences like breakups. death job losses things like that you know like diagnoses we can move through these issues of life more pleasantly and more internally harmonious in a more internally harmonious way so can chords be stronger with certain people like because him and i were so connected

  • Speaker #0

    Is our cord like stronger than someone else's cord with their spouse? What does that look like?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. They can be stronger. The longer the relationship and the more dedication that's there, the stronger the cords are. I've seen cords that are crumbling because the relationship is over and nobody has physically gone in to cut them. And so they're just kind of like dying away. And eventually cords that don't have energy sourced through them, they'll, you know, they'll die away on their own. And sometimes they have to be, you know, consciously removed as well. So, yeah, cords have different strengths. They all have different looks and different consistencies. And, yeah, it gets kind of funny.

  • Speaker #0

    So when you cut my cord, was it strong?

  • Speaker #1

    Oh, I think yours was the feathery one. Yes,

  • Speaker #0

    I was going to say, can you tell me about my feathery cord?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah, because I did one a couple days after that one. And the... Next one that I did like looked like leopard print. Really? It's so bizarre. But yours, it's hard to describe them in ranges of strength and weakness because yours was large and it kind of looked like a fountain coming out of your body and then a fountain coming out of his body. And it was blue and white, very feathery and light and airy and it wasn't compacted. you know, it was like a free flowing channel of energy. It was a, it wasn't like a free flowing channel of energy. It was, it was a very pleasant one and it looked like a healthy one. And I would say that even when you have healthy cords like that, go ahead and cut it. Cause it's going to rebuild itself anyway. I mean, they always do. And if you've got a cord that is that healthy, then I would say, you know, it's a pretty healthy relationship. And And... You know, I think that there's probably practitioners out there that would say you don't really need to cut them. And like I said, with the example with the old retired couple, if it's working for your relationship, and it's not harming anybody, if both parties are autonomous, sovereign, authentic, and they can live the way that they want to live. and those cords are attached because they're always going to reattach themselves anyway, then, you know, I don't see, I think there's probably better places to put your attention and your money when it comes to cutting cords in situations like that.

  • Speaker #0

    So what was the, why did my cord have feathers? Like, what did that mean?

  • Speaker #1

    It didn't have feathers. It just looked like, you know, like floaty and feathery like that. And it looked really healthy. It didn't have, there was, there was no debris in it and it didn't feel wishy-washy. It didn't feel nervous. It just felt. I'm trying to think of an example. You know, when you walk in to your house, you know, your home, you know, that this is the place that holds you. You can cry here. You can have joy here. You can have all the emotions here. You'll be accepted. There's no judgment. It's just home. It's the place that we find within ourselves. And it's the place that we walk into at the end of the night. And that's what it felt like. It felt like complete comfort. So that particular cord was a really healthy one. Not all of them are like that. Some of them do need to be cut because the other individual is toxic. And so in cases like that, that's when I say to clients, please come in every two weeks and let's cut it until this relationship's over.

  • Speaker #0

    So do partner's cords look the same? Like if he were to come to you, would his cord look the same or is there a chance his would look?

  • Speaker #1

    disgusting and you're like cut this girl out of your life right now yeah so i would just i would think that there is a chance for them to look different but i would love to know that i would love for a couple to come in and let me do that i would think that they would look the same but it it's possible that they wouldn't because they would both be running through two different energy fields who knows i haven't had the opportunity or the honor to

  • Speaker #0

    do that for a couple at the same time but i would love to well if we get back together i will force him to come with me yeah but do they do they ever change looks like what if i come in next time actually tomorrow yeah when i come in tomorrow is there a chance that my cord could look completely different yeah absolutely they do they i they change consistency with the energy flowing through them so if the energy flowing through you is

  • Speaker #1

    drastically different than it was the last time I saw you, then I would. I would think it might look different, but then again, it might not. I've I'm trying to think of the individuals that I've done multiple cord cuttings on and they have looked different every time.

  • Speaker #0

    Really? That's so interesting.

  • Speaker #1

    It is. It's pretty bizarre. I cannot wait until somebody invents the glasses that we can just put on and we can all see it.

  • Speaker #0

    We can see it. I know you're going to be like, I told you guys. Is there anything else about like. cords that you want to talk about?

  • Speaker #1

    You know, energy cords, it's just a piece of it. The energy cord is just a piece of it. And I think what's fascinating for me as a mom are the cords that come from our heart to our children. Those are not readily cut, cuttable. It's very hard to sever them. And sometimes as adults, it's really good to cut the cords from your parents. I've, I've done a formal official. cord cutting from myself and my parents. And it's very scary and liberating when you do that from your parents, at least in a situation like mine, because my parents were very loving. We had a good relationship. And here I am in my, when did I do that? I think I was 38 or 39 when I did the formal official cord cutting and there was a ceremony involved and I was scared because my parents helped me a lot, you know, like. They're my therapist. And so doing that as a formal ceremony and really saying to all of the energies that are like, okay, God, here, I'm going to do this on my own. That's what was scary. It's the impact afterwards, the self responsibility that you have to take. And that's really what's scary about it in the first place is stepping up and taking that self responsibility to say, you know what, it's hard, but I got this. I have it within me and I'm going to to pull it out and I can handle it even if it's hard. And in doing so, we honor the sovereignty of other individuals like our parents, our friends and our, you know, people that we've had relationships with because we go to them for so much and forget that they're also dealing with all of their internal stuff. And, you know, that helps us remember that.

  • Speaker #0

    Can you cut cords from like years and years and years ago? Like, is there a chance that I'm holding on to a cord from a relationship from... Years and years and years ago.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Yeah. There are. Yeah. We do hold on to those. And, you know, if two people end a relationship and they really hardly ever think of each other, like a middle school relationship is a great example. You don't think about the people you go out with in middle school. They don't think about it.

  • Speaker #0

    Say, I don't even know if I can name.

  • Speaker #1

    So those chords, they just stop working. They're just like. And I really would be kind of funny to see a court on a middle schooler. But anyway, so yeah, they'll stop running out. But the ones that stick around, they stick around because there's still something like unfinished business or there's still an emotion there. The other person, like let's say you have a boyfriend in Nevada and you haven't seen him in eight years and he still really, really loves you, but you hate him. So in that case, I've seen... cords that like on one end they're kind of like kind of starting to trickle and die away and they get really tight and smaller and then there's this other the other end of it is big and it's trying to like siphon all of this energy out of a small tube and so if you think of it let's say you've got a rubber straw one end of it will be kind of clamped closed and the other one will be more open, trying to source energy. And so What effect that causes is that every time you think about that boy in Nevada, you get this like gross feeling and it reduces your frequency and you start to feel like, oh my gosh, just because you've simply thought about him. But every time he thinks about you, he gets excited and he wants to be with you and he wants to find somebody just like you. And so he's still pulling some energy. And so, yes, cut those cords because he needs to figure that out on his own and you need your energy back. You don't want to... feel like that when you think about him it's so much easier to move on with life if you can think about all these people in your past in a more pleasant way because then you don't get stuck on it and also your frequency doesn't lower itself so that's so interesting i'm

  • Speaker #0

    really curious about what tomorrow what my energy core is going to look like one thing that i do that i really have found healing is is in is voice memos like i'll record a voice memo And then later on, I can go back. Like I was listening to my voice memos from like two days after we broke up. And I was first of all, like, I will never share that with anybody because there were some naughty words and a lot of anger. But then like three days later, the voice memo was a more compassionate, loving, I'm sorry, voice memo. So I really enjoy that. It's like journaling, but faster because I feel like I, I like journaling, but. I live such a busy life that sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't have time for that. And then I just don't do it. So having the voice memo is really nice because if I'm in my car and I feel like ranting about something and then I just whip out my phone and that's genius voice memo.

  • Speaker #1

    That's perfect. That's exactly what the process calls for. So yeah, good job. You're doing your work.

  • Speaker #0

    I'm chasing those thoughts.

  • Speaker #1

    Yes.

  • Speaker #0

    One thing I'm really curious about growing up in the church is kind of this like misconception about energy?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Can I talk about that?

  • Speaker #0

    Yes. Okay. I feel like I was kind of always told that energy is kind of like a voodoo or just don't follow energy. Like that's not related to Christ in a good way. Can you address that and the misconceptions with that?

  • Speaker #1

    Yes. And that's, that's a big chunk to chew. So let's start here. Let's talk about the, the advice that you get when you're in church, you're in an indoctrinated society that's telling you not to go get energy work. I believe that that advice comes from a place of love in terms of, you know, don't go down the street and get your energy tangled up with a voodoo healer or, you know, like a witch or, you know, whoever out there is practicing that I don't understand. They label people. I think that there's a piece of that advice that doesn't want you to forget your faith and it doesn't want you to, you know. obviously leave the church. Don't leave the church because you found something, something that's powerful. And so there's, there's this give and take because we can find powerful things in church that are very powerful. Every time we go to church and those goosebumps come, it's because we're in the presence of divinity. And in the church, we receive healing. We can receive spontaneous healing and we can receive healing. And what we receive in church is subtle healing. You know, I can go I can go to church and I can heal my heart. I can't heal my broken leg. You know, it's going to take six weeks for my leg to break if it's broken to heal. And we do receive that in other places too.

  • Speaker #0

    When we start to do our inner work, sometimes we go through the route of church, sometimes through the route of spirituality, you know, however you get there. Sometimes trauma leads you to your healing. A lot of times it does. And there are a lot of different modalities and church is one of them. And church is a powerful modality that can hold you when you're going through your sacred process of release and healing. You always have a community and you have somebody in that community, you know, your priest. who you can turn to who can help you with these things it's an incredibly important system to be a part of there is a huge misconception out there that reiki let's just talk about reiki and for specifications many people think reiki is a religious practice and it's not religious at all it's been around the planet since the beginning of time and dr yusui the one who coined Reiki and brought it into mainstream practice in Japan, he did not receive... this information from a church. He received it through meditation and he kept it pretty medical, but what he experienced and what he took to the people in Japan in the 30s, in the 20s and 30s was this experience of inner divinity. But we don't have to separate that in a way that keeps us away from our religion or away from our church. Both of those things absolutely exist. And they exist. side by side and they always have existed side by side. But the connection between energy healing and spirituality and the institution of the church is both very divided, but very, very much entwined too, because it's all inside. It's all inner spirituality and work, you know?

  • Speaker #1

    So can I go to energy healing and learn about it and take part in it? and also be a Christian?

  • Speaker #0

    Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I, the way that I teach it, I teach it pretty traditionally and I do not bring faith into any of my classes or any of my women's circles or any of the other healing circles, just because I want everyone to have a place there. I am myself a Christian. My husband is Catholic. I practice energy work every day. And I, my focus is to understand the science behind it. So like, I really would love to have a best friend that was like a physicist.

  • Speaker #1

    So we've talked a lot about energy bodies. And what should my listeners know about energy bodies?

  • Speaker #0

    So and I do get this question, you know, a similar question a lot. Like, what should I do to protect myself? That's the question I get a lot is what should I do to protect myself? And I like to tell people there are a lot of different things to do to protect yourself. But think about it. like this. Instead of thinking about I need to protect myself from other people, think about how can I hold myself in a high frequency so that whatever other people are doing doesn't impact me. And the way that we do that is by building a field within ourselves so that it radiates outside, but building a field that is supportive of our whole system. In order to build a field around you that is supportive of your whole system, you know, first of all, you've got your electricity going for you. So that's great. Everybody's got electricity. Otherwise, we wouldn't be moving. So there you have your conduit and you've got the energy for it. The rest of the work is how are you moving through your day? Are you moving through your day in a positive way? And are you paying attention to those little tiny subtle feelings? When you've got those two things online, you can build your energy field every morning with a daily practice. So that your field is big enough and reflective enough so that whatever anyone else is bringing at you or throwing at you, you can bounce it back off of yourself. And you can become a mirror so that they see their own behaviors, but their, you know, quote unquote negative behaviors don't come and penetrate your field so much. Because we're always going to be sharing energy. It's just the nature. Our energy fields are quite big. you cannot walk into the grocery store without unless there's hardly anybody there without sharing an energy field with the person you're next to. It's, it's just physics, you know, it's a, it's a field, it's an electromagnetic field that, well, part of it's electromagnetic that we all, you know, it all washes together as we're close to each other. The best thing to do is really to flood your system with light. And you can do that through visualization. The funny thing about all of this is the line between reality and imagination. We used to think it was a hard and fast line that was there permanently. We can draw it. And... Because this whole field of Reiki and energy healing are coming about and the world's waking up to it, that line is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And what we're realizing is that what we see in our imagination is real. We can make it real. There actually isn't a line between what I imagine and what I experience. That's what makes meditation and visualization so powerful. And that's where really the fruit of energy healing is. Because then you can take these practices out with you and live with them.

  • Speaker #1

    So in relation to what we've talked about today, what advice would you give someone to help them live a purposeful and intentional life? Oh,

  • Speaker #0

    that's a big question. I would say always make a focus to have an energetic cleanse, you know, engage in energy hygiene. Do it on a daily basis. because not only is it going to transform your internal landscape it will transform your life and no it's not going to transform your life in a one week but in two weeks you will see a difference and in three weeks you will see a big difference and in a year your entire life will be different yeah and you're the driver so you get to decide what it looks like too uh-huh wonderful

  • Speaker #1

    well thank you so much again for letting me hound you with questions it's been a pleasure Again, I think you are so cool. One of the coolest people I've ever met. And I wish we could sit here for three and a half hours and just talk all things energy because it is so interesting and you have so much wisdom to give. But and how might someone find you or if they want to talk to you?

  • Speaker #0

    Yeah, so I do online and in person appointments and you can find me at bare roots energy.com.

  • Speaker #1

    Bare roots energy.com. Yeah, go check her out. She's amazing.

  • Speaker #0

    Thank you very much.

  • Speaker #1

    And just to conclude our episode, just a little reminder that Hawaii House giveaway, you can go to our website at www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab. Find all the ways you can enter into that to win. I hope you guys enjoyed the part two of this episode, and I look forward to seeing you next week.

  • Speaker #2

    Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop. wasting your life we hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose intention and authenticity if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to leave us a good review give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter for more information go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week

Chapters

  • Introduction and Guest Introduction

    00:00

  • Understanding Energy Cords

    00:59

  • Cutting Energy Cords in Relationships

    02:12

  • Dependency and Codependency in Relationships

    04:28

  • Personal Experiences with Energy Cords

    05:57

  • The Process and Effects of Cord Cutting

    09:03

  • Maintaining Energetic Hygiene

    15:15

  • Emotional Safety and Comfort

    20:45

  • Cutting Old Energy Cords

    21:38

  • Living a Purposeful Life

    25:14

  • Energy Misconceptions in Religion

    28:00

  • Conclusion and Contact Information

    35:58

Description

This episode of Stop Wasting Your Life features Ava and her energy healer, Jamelle, diving deep into energy cords and how they shape relationships, especially with our partners. They explore what energy cords are, how they create lingering attachments after breakups, and why cutting these cords is key to emotional freedom. Ava shares her own struggle with still feeling tied to her ex-boyfriend, and Jamelle breaks down the spiritual and psychological sides of these bonds. The conversation also touches on how church teachings and religious beliefs influence our perception of energy and relationships, offering a thought-provoking look at balancing faith and energetic healing. Jamelle gives practical steps for cord-cutting and setting healthy boundaries, helping listeners move forward with clarity and power.

Listen to the first episode with Jamelle here: https://smartlink.ausha.co/stop-wasting-your-life/jamelle-zablow-maloney


Jamelle's practice: Bare Roots Energy


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Stop Wasting Your Life is produced by KK Media Co.


Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

  • Speaker #0

    Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and I'm here once again with Jamel, my wonderful energy healer, who is also a lifestyle and wellness coach. We met last week and talked a lot about energy and it was just a wonderful conversation. I thought, let's meet again and finish our conversation about energy. Welcome to Stop Stop wasting your life. The podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week, we dive into actionable advice, meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. So we left off talking about energy cords and I think we stopped. We were talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords. So I think we will begin talking about my ex-boyfriend and energy cords and just continue with our talk about energy.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Well, thank you for having me on. And energy cords are very real. There's a lot of mystification around them because we can't see them with our eyes. And so if you just do. a lovely Google search, like what is an energy cord? You'll hear a lot of etheric type of explanations. Energy cords though, are actual physical electrical exchanges and they do travel over distance, which is fascinating because if you think about all of the people that you know all over the world, you know, how many cords do you have that are still attached to them? And I do believe that distance does make a difference with that electrical exchange. But when you have a relationship and you have put time and effort and emotion and thought into a relationship, an energy cord is created. There's also an energy cord that's created between you and your mother as soon as you begin to form in utero. And that doesn't break. We can cut energy cords and sometimes we can cut them permanently. And sometimes we need to cut them more than one time. Because if we continue to think about the individual that we've cut a cord with. and we continue to source our energy from that relationship, then the cord will rebuild itself. So in terms of a breakup, which is why most people come to me for cord cuttings, we can cut that cord and we can stop that energy exchange. So a cord is built when you have a relationship with an individual from a couple of different places in the body. We can build them from our heart, our sacral center, and sometimes our solar plexus. That's where I've seen most of And these cords will build themselves because we are attending to the relationship by thinking about it, by acting on it, by engaging in the relationship with the other person. And when we like, you know, like I said in our last episode, when you have a relationship with a person and you're sourcing your energy from them, we get into the mode of forgetting that we can source our own energy. And so we start to depend on that person. They start to depend on us. And that makes the energy cord stronger. So when you're in a really long-term relationship, like 20, 30, 40, 50 years, those energy cords are really strong. They're really big. And if you have two, you know, let's say you have two retirees. They've been together since high school. They're madly in love and they do everything together. And that works for them to have a cooperative relationship by finishing each other's sentences, you know, thinking the same thing all the time, having a routine. a daily routine that they both engage in that's always the same. You know, you'll see behaviors like one person in the relationship will have to ask the other person permission or they'll have to be like, let me, you know, let me run this by my spouse just to make sure that they're okay with it. You see a lot of that dependency going on. If it feeds and supports the relationship, then I say absolutely keep that dependency going. You know, if it's working for you and if it's creating the life that you both want to live, do it. However, do make sure that it is helping you create the life that both of you want to live, not that just one of you want to live. Because when we're sourcing our energy through another person and from another person, we are absolutely impacting them. We are all electrical batteries here on the planet, and we're not meant to source other people's energies. We do it a little bit as mothers, especially until our children reach puberty, and then they can source it themselves completely. But when we're in a relationship and we're sourcing our energy from the other person, it creates a codependency that sometimes it's healthy to break that codependency, especially when we're younger and in relationships. And so, you know, I've never had an individual who is in their 60s or 70s who are still married to their spouse. I've never had them come in and say, I want you to cut my cord. You know, but it is healthy to do it. I cut my cord from my husband and my mom on a regular basis just so I can make sure that I'm sourcing my own energy and that I'm not pulling it from them. Because I don't want to go into the living room and start to talk to John and suck. all the energy out of him. You know, I want to be able to source that myself. That's a part of my self responsibility. And I don't want him to come into the kitchen and source his energy for me, even though he does, because he interrupts me constantly. And so, you know, that's, that's a piece of that, that cord cutting that effect will have is it will make you more independent and more self responsible for pulling in the energy yourself and using what you have instead of what somebody else has.

  • Speaker #0

    So my ex-boyfriend and I, we had a... a very close, healthy, loving relationship. Like overall, the relationship was a wonderful relationship. And I have nothing but utmost respect for him. He's an amazing person. But I do feel like I did become very dependent on him for some things because we just matched each other really well. Like I was the anxious ball of fire and he was the cool patient cucumber. And Is that something that like, should I have been cutting an energy cord in that relationship so that I wasn't as dependent on him for those?

  • Speaker #1

    That's a really good question. Cord cuttings in that situation are really helpful because it does make you more independent and it, it kind of puts, not kind of, it puts everything back on your plate so you can see what you're dealing with and it helps you realize. oh, this is my stuff. Like I need to clean this up in me. I have this insecurity that I'm trying to get my boyfriend to meet, but that insecurity is actually within me. And so when you cut that cord, it stops that energy exchange so that your body physiologically remembers, oh yeah, I can handle this. I don't need him to handle it for me. And when you start to do that, you not only become more independent in your own thoughts, but you come you become more energetically independent. And when you're energetically independent, it leads to so many things. It opens up more self-confidence, more efficiency, productivity, because you are literally putting yourself back in the driver's seat. And that's what I love about the source light infusions that I do. They also help to put you back into the driver's seat so that you're driving your own ship and You know, maybe you do have a co-captain, but your co-captain's not in charge. Your co-captain is there for you to bounce ideas off of. And, you know, that's what a partner is. That's why it's important to move through relationships in a partnership instead of, you know, I like to say it's a collaborative codependency. Because when two people are happy in a relationship, and they're not energetically engaging in energetic hygiene, but they're not engaging in energetic hygiene, they are going to be sourcing from each other. And so... maybe the relationship is great and that's great. It should be great. However, cutting cords is just kind of one of those maintenance items to take care of just so everybody stays in their own lane. Because if we come home from a really stressful day at work, the last thing that we need to be doing is taking all of that stress and throwing it on somebody else. And when we're in a relationship and we have that codependency going and it's already flowing, we we come home and we really do expect our spouse to clear it up for us, but that's not their job. They just got home from a stressful day at work too. Yeah. And it's our job to do our own work.

  • Speaker #0

    Can cord cutting ever be bad for a relationship? Cause I feel like if I were to go back to my ex-boyfriend and say, you should go get, cut your cord from me. I feel like I would also be like, no, actually don't do that. Don't cut your cord for me. What if you cut your cord for me? And you're like, actually. she should be more patient with me and I don't want to deal with this anymore. Like, can cord cutting ever be bad?

  • Speaker #1

    So no, not like that. I think that there are really specific situations where it could be bad. Like if you've got a cord, I don't know, I can't think of a situation actually. I was thinking like maybe if somebody was in a coma and they didn't know what was happening, but that, I mean, if somebody was in a coma, I think that the energy exchange would probably stop anyway. So no, and I know what you're getting at. Cause it's scary when you think about cutting a cord, you are cutting that dependency. But at the same time, what is that shift going to look like? What it normally looks like, and this is what I've seen every single time, is that I've had treatments where I've cut people's cords from others. When you cut that cord, that dependency, that energy exchange stops. And then the other person who's not in the room, they don't know what's going on. They feel this like a little loss. And then they remember what that energy exchange did for them. And they long for it because it's comfortable. But it also, you know, after about a day, it gives them pause to remember their own authenticity, their own authentic authentication. But it's... The cord and the energy exchange doesn't keep us together. People break up and they have energy cords that are still attached all day long, all over the planet. And that's not what keeps us together. It's literally just an energy exchange that helps you get more energy and it helps him get more energy. And I would say that the misnomer there is the perception that that energy exchange is driving the relationship and keeping the relationship intact. Because that's not the function that the energy cord plays. That's the function that us as individual decision makers and action takers make. We make those decisions to stay with the person because of how they make us feel. And that energy cord there between you guys, it does impact how you feel a little bit. But when you cut it on a regular basis, you remember who you are, and then you learn how to be in partnership with the other person while you are who you are. So you don't lose your sovereignty. You are still 100% you next to another person who is 100% him. And together you move forward as individuals instead of, you know, like one unit trying to be one unit. I think if we were meant to be molded into one thing, our bodies would look a lot different.

  • Speaker #0

    like maybe we would be being out of clay or something like in my pottery class yeah there you go it's because we were talking about pottery so if I feel like I don't really have the knee or the wants to go connect with other men right now because I still long for the connection that I had with my ex-boyfriend does that mean that I'm still connected to him or Like, I just have no desire to go connect with anyone else because I still miss him. Like, is that something that is, am I still connected to him?

  • Speaker #1

    You could be. So, you know, because in the last treatment we did do a cord cutting. So we cut the cord. And if you get your cord cut, you know, I think a lot of people think that once you get your cord cut, it's like over. And if you keep putting thought into the relationship, the cord will start to rebuild itself. And it doesn't rebuild itself as strongly. But the cord may still be there, especially because you've only cut it one time. The breakup is new and the relationship was a long relationship. And so it takes a couple times to get them to be completely cut and to not come back. And what happens while you're doing that, you know, let's say you go to an energy healer like every two or three weeks and they do a cord cutting on you on a regular basis. Do that. But you also have to think about the relationship in terms of what do I need to do to move on? And what is my heart telling me? If your heart is telling you that you still love this person, there's the, the, the cord cuttings will help with that. But love is love. And so your love either needs to be placed, your love and attention needs to be placed somewhere else, or the relationship needs to be rectified. And so in this moment, you get to choose, okay, I've got this love, you know, just separate yourself from it for a second. I've got this love. It's in a bucket. Where am I going to pour it? You know, and you get to choose that. Reg- regardless of where your energy cords are attacking you. You know, you could have fallen in love with Pope Francis and he's left the planet. And let's say you worked with him closely and you have an energy cord that's still tied to him and you think about him every day. At some point, you're going to realize that there's something more efficient for you to put your energy towards. And so then you can pour your love onto that new thing.

  • Speaker #0

    I think it's hard for me also because where we left it was kind of in this like gray area. Like it was a, let's go work on ourselves and maybe we get back together and maybe we don't. And that's kind of like, we'll just place that in God's hands and decide like as time goes on, but it's hard because I don't know, like, do I hold on to this love that I have or do I cut? the cord and try and move on? Or is there like a happy medium or like, what is, what does that look like? Especially because I remember when we talked in, we talked about cord cutting and I said, well, I don't want to cut it forever. Like. Because what if we get back together? Can you explain that to me a little bit?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. I love this question because all of us deal with this. We all deal with this gray area, whether it's in a relationship or another situation. I say, yes, cut the cord because it's good energetic hygiene. You need to be sourcing your own energy. He needs to be sourcing his own energy. And with that action, you both become more authentic and more stabilized in your individuality. When it comes to that gray area, not knowing what to do, that is... our walk as a human, not knowing and being okay with the unknown. And this is where faith comes in. But if you want to get really scientific about it, you know, you just get up and you do the thing, you get up and you take the actions to do the next best thing, whether there's a gray area there or not. If you have agreed to go on and work on yourself, then do that. But I will say that's the hardest thing to do. That's the hardest advice to take. I mean... the Dalai Lama could be in this room and tell me to go work on myself and I will go home and question it, you know, and I, it doesn't even matter that this is the field that I'm in and that, you know, that's what I do all day long. It's, it's my profession now. And, but I still struggle to take that advice from people because first of all, we're perfect and we don't have anything to work on, you know, which is a complete misnomer. And the second thing is, is, uh, it's a lot of work. Like every Everybody kind of shies away from this inner work because it's a lot of work. Like you have to force yourself to stop and take pause. And without that silence, you don't really know where to go. You don't know where to put your energy to. You're not really sure which, which road to start down. And at the end of the day, whatever road you take is going to lead you to where you're going and you'll shift your direction. You'll shift your goal and your target. And... it's all a shift. But when it comes to the energy cords, I say, yes, do cut the energy cords, just simply to keep up with your own energetic cleanliness. Because you want to be running that energy straight through you, not from somebody else, but from source and from the planet. You know, we've got two sources of energy that come into our body and, and makes everything, it makes everything run. And when we keep that clean, then we can move through these experiences like breakups. death job losses things like that you know like diagnoses we can move through these issues of life more pleasantly and more internally harmonious in a more internally harmonious way so can chords be stronger with certain people like because him and i were so connected

  • Speaker #0

    Is our cord like stronger than someone else's cord with their spouse? What does that look like?

  • Speaker #1

    Absolutely. They can be stronger. The longer the relationship and the more dedication that's there, the stronger the cords are. I've seen cords that are crumbling because the relationship is over and nobody has physically gone in to cut them. And so they're just kind of like dying away. And eventually cords that don't have energy sourced through them, they'll, you know, they'll die away on their own. And sometimes they have to be, you know, consciously removed as well. So, yeah, cords have different strengths. They all have different looks and different consistencies. And, yeah, it gets kind of funny.

  • Speaker #0

    So when you cut my cord, was it strong?

  • Speaker #1

    Oh, I think yours was the feathery one. Yes,

  • Speaker #0

    I was going to say, can you tell me about my feathery cord?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah, because I did one a couple days after that one. And the... Next one that I did like looked like leopard print. Really? It's so bizarre. But yours, it's hard to describe them in ranges of strength and weakness because yours was large and it kind of looked like a fountain coming out of your body and then a fountain coming out of his body. And it was blue and white, very feathery and light and airy and it wasn't compacted. you know, it was like a free flowing channel of energy. It was a, it wasn't like a free flowing channel of energy. It was, it was a very pleasant one and it looked like a healthy one. And I would say that even when you have healthy cords like that, go ahead and cut it. Cause it's going to rebuild itself anyway. I mean, they always do. And if you've got a cord that is that healthy, then I would say, you know, it's a pretty healthy relationship. And And... You know, I think that there's probably practitioners out there that would say you don't really need to cut them. And like I said, with the example with the old retired couple, if it's working for your relationship, and it's not harming anybody, if both parties are autonomous, sovereign, authentic, and they can live the way that they want to live. and those cords are attached because they're always going to reattach themselves anyway, then, you know, I don't see, I think there's probably better places to put your attention and your money when it comes to cutting cords in situations like that.

  • Speaker #0

    So what was the, why did my cord have feathers? Like, what did that mean?

  • Speaker #1

    It didn't have feathers. It just looked like, you know, like floaty and feathery like that. And it looked really healthy. It didn't have, there was, there was no debris in it and it didn't feel wishy-washy. It didn't feel nervous. It just felt. I'm trying to think of an example. You know, when you walk in to your house, you know, your home, you know, that this is the place that holds you. You can cry here. You can have joy here. You can have all the emotions here. You'll be accepted. There's no judgment. It's just home. It's the place that we find within ourselves. And it's the place that we walk into at the end of the night. And that's what it felt like. It felt like complete comfort. So that particular cord was a really healthy one. Not all of them are like that. Some of them do need to be cut because the other individual is toxic. And so in cases like that, that's when I say to clients, please come in every two weeks and let's cut it until this relationship's over.

  • Speaker #0

    So do partner's cords look the same? Like if he were to come to you, would his cord look the same or is there a chance his would look?

  • Speaker #1

    disgusting and you're like cut this girl out of your life right now yeah so i would just i would think that there is a chance for them to look different but i would love to know that i would love for a couple to come in and let me do that i would think that they would look the same but it it's possible that they wouldn't because they would both be running through two different energy fields who knows i haven't had the opportunity or the honor to

  • Speaker #0

    do that for a couple at the same time but i would love to well if we get back together i will force him to come with me yeah but do they do they ever change looks like what if i come in next time actually tomorrow yeah when i come in tomorrow is there a chance that my cord could look completely different yeah absolutely they do they i they change consistency with the energy flowing through them so if the energy flowing through you is

  • Speaker #1

    drastically different than it was the last time I saw you, then I would. I would think it might look different, but then again, it might not. I've I'm trying to think of the individuals that I've done multiple cord cuttings on and they have looked different every time.

  • Speaker #0

    Really? That's so interesting.

  • Speaker #1

    It is. It's pretty bizarre. I cannot wait until somebody invents the glasses that we can just put on and we can all see it.

  • Speaker #0

    We can see it. I know you're going to be like, I told you guys. Is there anything else about like. cords that you want to talk about?

  • Speaker #1

    You know, energy cords, it's just a piece of it. The energy cord is just a piece of it. And I think what's fascinating for me as a mom are the cords that come from our heart to our children. Those are not readily cut, cuttable. It's very hard to sever them. And sometimes as adults, it's really good to cut the cords from your parents. I've, I've done a formal official. cord cutting from myself and my parents. And it's very scary and liberating when you do that from your parents, at least in a situation like mine, because my parents were very loving. We had a good relationship. And here I am in my, when did I do that? I think I was 38 or 39 when I did the formal official cord cutting and there was a ceremony involved and I was scared because my parents helped me a lot, you know, like. They're my therapist. And so doing that as a formal ceremony and really saying to all of the energies that are like, okay, God, here, I'm going to do this on my own. That's what was scary. It's the impact afterwards, the self responsibility that you have to take. And that's really what's scary about it in the first place is stepping up and taking that self responsibility to say, you know what, it's hard, but I got this. I have it within me and I'm going to to pull it out and I can handle it even if it's hard. And in doing so, we honor the sovereignty of other individuals like our parents, our friends and our, you know, people that we've had relationships with because we go to them for so much and forget that they're also dealing with all of their internal stuff. And, you know, that helps us remember that.

  • Speaker #0

    Can you cut cords from like years and years and years ago? Like, is there a chance that I'm holding on to a cord from a relationship from... Years and years and years ago.

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Yeah. There are. Yeah. We do hold on to those. And, you know, if two people end a relationship and they really hardly ever think of each other, like a middle school relationship is a great example. You don't think about the people you go out with in middle school. They don't think about it.

  • Speaker #0

    Say, I don't even know if I can name.

  • Speaker #1

    So those chords, they just stop working. They're just like. And I really would be kind of funny to see a court on a middle schooler. But anyway, so yeah, they'll stop running out. But the ones that stick around, they stick around because there's still something like unfinished business or there's still an emotion there. The other person, like let's say you have a boyfriend in Nevada and you haven't seen him in eight years and he still really, really loves you, but you hate him. So in that case, I've seen... cords that like on one end they're kind of like kind of starting to trickle and die away and they get really tight and smaller and then there's this other the other end of it is big and it's trying to like siphon all of this energy out of a small tube and so if you think of it let's say you've got a rubber straw one end of it will be kind of clamped closed and the other one will be more open, trying to source energy. And so What effect that causes is that every time you think about that boy in Nevada, you get this like gross feeling and it reduces your frequency and you start to feel like, oh my gosh, just because you've simply thought about him. But every time he thinks about you, he gets excited and he wants to be with you and he wants to find somebody just like you. And so he's still pulling some energy. And so, yes, cut those cords because he needs to figure that out on his own and you need your energy back. You don't want to... feel like that when you think about him it's so much easier to move on with life if you can think about all these people in your past in a more pleasant way because then you don't get stuck on it and also your frequency doesn't lower itself so that's so interesting i'm

  • Speaker #0

    really curious about what tomorrow what my energy core is going to look like one thing that i do that i really have found healing is is in is voice memos like i'll record a voice memo And then later on, I can go back. Like I was listening to my voice memos from like two days after we broke up. And I was first of all, like, I will never share that with anybody because there were some naughty words and a lot of anger. But then like three days later, the voice memo was a more compassionate, loving, I'm sorry, voice memo. So I really enjoy that. It's like journaling, but faster because I feel like I, I like journaling, but. I live such a busy life that sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't have time for that. And then I just don't do it. So having the voice memo is really nice because if I'm in my car and I feel like ranting about something and then I just whip out my phone and that's genius voice memo.

  • Speaker #1

    That's perfect. That's exactly what the process calls for. So yeah, good job. You're doing your work.

  • Speaker #0

    I'm chasing those thoughts.

  • Speaker #1

    Yes.

  • Speaker #0

    One thing I'm really curious about growing up in the church is kind of this like misconception about energy?

  • Speaker #1

    Yeah. Can I talk about that?

  • Speaker #0

    Yes. Okay. I feel like I was kind of always told that energy is kind of like a voodoo or just don't follow energy. Like that's not related to Christ in a good way. Can you address that and the misconceptions with that?

  • Speaker #1

    Yes. And that's, that's a big chunk to chew. So let's start here. Let's talk about the, the advice that you get when you're in church, you're in an indoctrinated society that's telling you not to go get energy work. I believe that that advice comes from a place of love in terms of, you know, don't go down the street and get your energy tangled up with a voodoo healer or, you know, like a witch or, you know, whoever out there is practicing that I don't understand. They label people. I think that there's a piece of that advice that doesn't want you to forget your faith and it doesn't want you to, you know. obviously leave the church. Don't leave the church because you found something, something that's powerful. And so there's, there's this give and take because we can find powerful things in church that are very powerful. Every time we go to church and those goosebumps come, it's because we're in the presence of divinity. And in the church, we receive healing. We can receive spontaneous healing and we can receive healing. And what we receive in church is subtle healing. You know, I can go I can go to church and I can heal my heart. I can't heal my broken leg. You know, it's going to take six weeks for my leg to break if it's broken to heal. And we do receive that in other places too.

  • Speaker #0

    When we start to do our inner work, sometimes we go through the route of church, sometimes through the route of spirituality, you know, however you get there. Sometimes trauma leads you to your healing. A lot of times it does. And there are a lot of different modalities and church is one of them. And church is a powerful modality that can hold you when you're going through your sacred process of release and healing. You always have a community and you have somebody in that community, you know, your priest. who you can turn to who can help you with these things it's an incredibly important system to be a part of there is a huge misconception out there that reiki let's just talk about reiki and for specifications many people think reiki is a religious practice and it's not religious at all it's been around the planet since the beginning of time and dr yusui the one who coined Reiki and brought it into mainstream practice in Japan, he did not receive... this information from a church. He received it through meditation and he kept it pretty medical, but what he experienced and what he took to the people in Japan in the 30s, in the 20s and 30s was this experience of inner divinity. But we don't have to separate that in a way that keeps us away from our religion or away from our church. Both of those things absolutely exist. And they exist. side by side and they always have existed side by side. But the connection between energy healing and spirituality and the institution of the church is both very divided, but very, very much entwined too, because it's all inside. It's all inner spirituality and work, you know?

  • Speaker #1

    So can I go to energy healing and learn about it and take part in it? and also be a Christian?

  • Speaker #0

    Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I, the way that I teach it, I teach it pretty traditionally and I do not bring faith into any of my classes or any of my women's circles or any of the other healing circles, just because I want everyone to have a place there. I am myself a Christian. My husband is Catholic. I practice energy work every day. And I, my focus is to understand the science behind it. So like, I really would love to have a best friend that was like a physicist.

  • Speaker #1

    So we've talked a lot about energy bodies. And what should my listeners know about energy bodies?

  • Speaker #0

    So and I do get this question, you know, a similar question a lot. Like, what should I do to protect myself? That's the question I get a lot is what should I do to protect myself? And I like to tell people there are a lot of different things to do to protect yourself. But think about it. like this. Instead of thinking about I need to protect myself from other people, think about how can I hold myself in a high frequency so that whatever other people are doing doesn't impact me. And the way that we do that is by building a field within ourselves so that it radiates outside, but building a field that is supportive of our whole system. In order to build a field around you that is supportive of your whole system, you know, first of all, you've got your electricity going for you. So that's great. Everybody's got electricity. Otherwise, we wouldn't be moving. So there you have your conduit and you've got the energy for it. The rest of the work is how are you moving through your day? Are you moving through your day in a positive way? And are you paying attention to those little tiny subtle feelings? When you've got those two things online, you can build your energy field every morning with a daily practice. So that your field is big enough and reflective enough so that whatever anyone else is bringing at you or throwing at you, you can bounce it back off of yourself. And you can become a mirror so that they see their own behaviors, but their, you know, quote unquote negative behaviors don't come and penetrate your field so much. Because we're always going to be sharing energy. It's just the nature. Our energy fields are quite big. you cannot walk into the grocery store without unless there's hardly anybody there without sharing an energy field with the person you're next to. It's, it's just physics, you know, it's a, it's a field, it's an electromagnetic field that, well, part of it's electromagnetic that we all, you know, it all washes together as we're close to each other. The best thing to do is really to flood your system with light. And you can do that through visualization. The funny thing about all of this is the line between reality and imagination. We used to think it was a hard and fast line that was there permanently. We can draw it. And... Because this whole field of Reiki and energy healing are coming about and the world's waking up to it, that line is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And what we're realizing is that what we see in our imagination is real. We can make it real. There actually isn't a line between what I imagine and what I experience. That's what makes meditation and visualization so powerful. And that's where really the fruit of energy healing is. Because then you can take these practices out with you and live with them.

  • Speaker #1

    So in relation to what we've talked about today, what advice would you give someone to help them live a purposeful and intentional life? Oh,

  • Speaker #0

    that's a big question. I would say always make a focus to have an energetic cleanse, you know, engage in energy hygiene. Do it on a daily basis. because not only is it going to transform your internal landscape it will transform your life and no it's not going to transform your life in a one week but in two weeks you will see a difference and in three weeks you will see a big difference and in a year your entire life will be different yeah and you're the driver so you get to decide what it looks like too uh-huh wonderful

  • Speaker #1

    well thank you so much again for letting me hound you with questions it's been a pleasure Again, I think you are so cool. One of the coolest people I've ever met. And I wish we could sit here for three and a half hours and just talk all things energy because it is so interesting and you have so much wisdom to give. But and how might someone find you or if they want to talk to you?

  • Speaker #0

    Yeah, so I do online and in person appointments and you can find me at bare roots energy.com.

  • Speaker #1

    Bare roots energy.com. Yeah, go check her out. She's amazing.

  • Speaker #0

    Thank you very much.

  • Speaker #1

    And just to conclude our episode, just a little reminder that Hawaii House giveaway, you can go to our website at www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab. Find all the ways you can enter into that to win. I hope you guys enjoyed the part two of this episode, and I look forward to seeing you next week.

  • Speaker #2

    Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop. wasting your life we hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose intention and authenticity if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to leave us a good review give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter for more information go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week

Chapters

  • Introduction and Guest Introduction

    00:00

  • Understanding Energy Cords

    00:59

  • Cutting Energy Cords in Relationships

    02:12

  • Dependency and Codependency in Relationships

    04:28

  • Personal Experiences with Energy Cords

    05:57

  • The Process and Effects of Cord Cutting

    09:03

  • Maintaining Energetic Hygiene

    15:15

  • Emotional Safety and Comfort

    20:45

  • Cutting Old Energy Cords

    21:38

  • Living a Purposeful Life

    25:14

  • Energy Misconceptions in Religion

    28:00

  • Conclusion and Contact Information

    35:58

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