- Speaker #0
Have you ever faced a challenge so profound that it transformed your perspective on life? How can you take that challenge and turn that pain into purpose? Today's guest shares her incredible story and will inspire you to remember to fully live and claim your right to creativity. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm a Webby Award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, and creative coach. This show sits at the intersection of creativity, mental health, self-development, and spirituality, and it is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity and pursue whatever it is that's in your heart. Before we get into the guests, I want to briefly remind you that I have a new single out, Genie in a Bottle. You can stream it wherever you get your music, especially on Spotify. As you know, I'm trying to get to 10,000 streams on Spotify for Genie in a Bottle. So click. Click the link in my bio or in the show notes and check it out and even share it with a friend if you like the song. Today's guest is Alyssa Kelver. She's a stage four metastatic breast cancer thriver and advocate, inspiring storyteller, keynote speaker, and the founder and CEO of WeGotThis.org, which is a nonprofit gift registry for cancer thrivers and their supporters. Alyssa is also a dear friend that I made from having her on the podcast. We really became close after she came on air. And today she is back. to talk about what she's learned as she continues to build her nonprofit and pursue all of her dreams. One of my favorite parts of Alyssa's mission is she reminds us that cancer is not a prerequisite for living and that no matter what, we are all terminal. So it's time to start living your most authentic self and dreams. And by the way, this sounds pretty heavy. Alyssa is also one of the funniest people I know. We took a long trip to Arizona before this because we were doing a public speaking gig together there. and literally laughed the whole time there. I mean, the woman is just a blast. So she inspires while she also tickles your funny bone, and you're going to love today's chat. From our conversation, you'll learn the power of sharing personal stories, the importance of creating your own metrics for success, and how to stop comparing yourself to others, why it is vital to make declarations about your life and goals, and how to claim your dreams fully. Okay, a couple other things before we get into the interview. Alyssa has an amazing book coming out titled We Got This that you can pre-order at the link in the show notes or in her Instagram bio. So do that because it's incredible and you might even see a contribution from yours truly in the book. So support her, pre-order it, and just follow her everywhere because she's amazing. And a huge thank you to Aaron over at Seco Space and his whole team, including Colton, who recorded. and edited the video version of this podcast. I cannot thank you enough. If you listening are a thought leader and want to get amazing video footage of yourself on stage, you must hire them. They are just wonderful. And on top of that, just beautiful human beings and so great to work with. So check out Seco Space. And thank you again to Erin and team. Okay, now here she is, Alyssa Kelver. It's just so beautiful to have you back and talk about your journey. So welcome to the show. Thank you.
- Speaker #1
I'm so excited because the first time we talked was really the first time I sat and talked it out with anyone. And it was during such an unpredictable time. So much has happened since and obviously the tough way of cancer, but some really neat silver linings. That is an exciting update,
- Speaker #0
too. Yeah. What would you say has been the best silver lining of this time period from then until now, which was about two years ago?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, it was a couple years ago. And I think I had just started the GoFundMeForWeGotThis.org and kind of getting into that general concept, which it's interesting because even from talking about that originally with you, everything is held true. Like nothing's changed that drastically, which is kind of neat. But at the same time, it's grown just exponentially. And the way that that impact has been able to grow and the amount of time I've been able to spend on that and building that community has been... I think the best silver lining for me personally, and then I feel like it's really creating this new need that I saw was missing and other people agreed. Yeah. So it brought it into reality.
- Speaker #0
What is it like going from having an idea in your head to then it getting out of your head and literally manifesting into the world? Like, what has it been like to see your idea take legs like that?
- Speaker #1
It's so hard for me to take a second ever. to like look at that. Like even you saying that, it's like... Yeah. And it's hard for me to pause because I'm always, I think what fuels me is that energy to keep that going. There's always more that I want to do and not in a negative way, not like, oh, it's never enough in a way that I enjoy it so much that like, as we do things, I'm like, oh, but I want these features to be on the site and I want to do this for these hospitals. And I want to partner with this nonprofit and other things that it is wild to think about. Like we're a couple of years later. But it feels like we're like 10 years later, you know, and I think that was my sense of urgency. Yeah. And I think I am so in the moment of it that I rarely step outside and appreciate it, which I think I should do more.
- Speaker #0
Definitely. But I'm also inspired by your sense of urgency and your commitment to fully living. And I think that there's so much no matter what your journey is health wise that everybody can learn from the way you've approached life for the past. Three years now. It's going to be three years on Monday. It's wild. What would you say is like the best piece of advice you can give anybody listening about going after their dreams with that sense of urgency, passion, and just like mind and possibility? Like how can they start thinking and living like you?
- Speaker #1
Well, thank you. Yeah. And I also think, I think it's so important that anyone listening knows that I very much still have cancer. In fact, like while I'm celebrating my third year of Yeah. three years on Monday living with cancer, I very much am still in chemo. You know, people don't realize because I'm not bald anymore, but I've never stopped doing chemo. And it's changed and evolves what having cancer means for me. But I know that it's not gone. I have stage four breast cancer. It's there, whether it's controlled, it's never in remission, it's never not there completely, but I can live with it. And once I realized that, that my goal doesn't have to be to beat cancer. I don't have to live to see a cure. I hope I do. That would be amazing. But I also don't want to feel like a failure if I don't. And I think that there's so much along the way that's amazing. Like some of the drugs that I'm on that are saving my life didn't exist, you know, 10 years ago. Right. And I'm a part of clinical trials and drugs that are just starting to exist. I could be on drugs that are a cure and we don't know it yet.
- Speaker #0
Let's take them into existence.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, let's keep this in the archives just in case. But what's so important to me is that people hear that and feel that, not just if they have cancer. Just that's not a prerequisite for understanding that we're worth living and not just surviving or staying alive. And I've had ups and downs with treatment, but I've never had an extended period of time where I felt like giving up. Yeah. There was definitely some times where I felt like, I don't know that I can live with this level of symptoms. that took turning points to make changes. But overall, I've never considered like, this is too much doing the nonprofit or anything like that. If anything, it's like the harder times that it gets, the worse that I feel at different times, I feel this urgency to do more. Yeah. It truly is so healing to me to get to be a part of something that now it's not, it's not that I've created it, like we've created it. Like, you know, even just from our initial conversation, the things that. came out of that are ideas that are still imprinted. And we got this today. And now I have a few employees. Yes. We have volunteers and contractors. We have friends helping to spread that word. And that's really my life's mission is we got this. But, you know, higher level overview, my life's mission is to redefine success and to make sure that whatever people's life circumstance is, they value their life. and living it in comfort above anything else. Because otherwise, you know, you might die at, you know, 30, but you get buried at 80, right?
- Speaker #0
Right. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.
- Speaker #1
I heard that recently. My friend Jacob from my trip in Costa Rica kept saying that to me, kind of off of what I say. And that resonated so much.
- Speaker #0
It's true. So many people bury themselves, you know? And they just like accept that this is what their life is and they're not even sick, but they do decide that their life is over or that their dreaming is over at a certain point. And that's what I'm so inspired by with you, because what I took away from that, too, is like you have a great way of staying optimistic while also admitting what your reality is. And I think it's a beautiful line to walk because I think so many people go so far in either direction. They're like. oh this is terrible, everything sucks, everything's awful, this is the worst, or it's like I'm not even going to acknowledge that this is happening, I'm going to live in delusion like and pretend like everything's fine when it's not. And you walk this beautiful line of what I call angsty optimism. It's like seeing the truth of a situation, but believing the best possible outcome could still be. What's your advice for other people on how to embody that energy and how to be honest about their life and their struggles while still believing the best possible thing can happen?
- Speaker #1
I think that creating your own metrics for what that means. Yeah. You know, for me, I don't consider. I guess theoretically the best case scenario is that I get cured from cancer and don't have. Yeah. Right. But that's not really what I strive for. Just like we were talking recently about when I was training for my marathon and how my grandma the night before the race was like, good luck tomorrow. I hope that you win. You know, it's and it was funny. I laughed and I was like, oh, no, no, no. Like my goal. Not even close. I'm not going to win the 26.2 mile run race. You know, to me, it wasn't a race. It was to finish. Right. And I think that setting realistic expectations of ourselves and not just realistic, like lowering the bar for ourselves, like I don't need to win a marathon. That doesn't enhance my life. That's not my ultimate goal. Just like my ultimate goal doesn't have to be curing cancer. My bigger picture goal is. to live a full, happy, comfortable life. Right. And that's with or without cancer. That was always my life's goal. So now with cancer, it's how do I adapt to my situation currently to make that still happen? And I think that continuing to bring back to that is so important for anyone. Cancer is just a hypothetical adversity in the mix. And anything that it is, you know, we all face discomfort and hard times and things throughout our lives. And that's all unique to us. No one has it worse or better. Like you are you. And take that and find the metrics of your own success and be true to that because you should feel successful. You don't need to compare yourself to the person next to you. It's all about what makes you feel complete.
- Speaker #0
Yeah, I think it is so difficult, especially with social media being what it is. We think we can see everything about people's lives, even though we see like, what, 2% of it. and only the best things usually. But it's so easy to fall into a comparison trap. And something weird that I notice myself doing is like when I see somebody online that I'm like, oh, they've done the things I want. I'll like look up like when they did it to see if they did it like before the age I'm at or after the age. And then like, if it's after, I'm like, oh, thank God I still have time. But it's like, what timeline am I on? Whose timeline am I on? Like everybody's got their own journey. What's your advice for people out there who are struggling? And- in the throes of comparing themselves endlessly to other people's success or perceived success.
- Speaker #1
I think about this so much and I try to be really true to it. Yeah. Because a lot of times I don't post I'm not feeling well or tired because I wouldn't think to like record myself in bed. And I've done it a couple of times where I post a picture and be like, I am tired. I don't feel well. Yeah. You know, in proof of that. And I think that there are so many beautiful things that can come out of social media. I have so many friends through social media that I can relate to and they can relate to me and we've never met. You know, it's just simply through the community of content that we're putting out there. But I think that, again, it's creating your own metrics, your own timeline and your own definition of your success. And knowing that you always it's an interesting concept of like you always have time to do it. But at the same time, how we don't never know how much time we do have. Yeah. And this idea that we are all terminal. You know, I don't think that I'm dying tomorrow. But we all could, you know, and living life where you can feel good about what you're doing. I've never been happier than I am now in terms of what I do, like my career. And I say in quotations because it's not really, I guess, you know, I'm technically not even employed by We Got This. I'm a volunteer. Yeah. But. That is your career.
- Speaker #0
It is. It's your vocation, I would say.
- Speaker #1
It's really a whole part of me. And. It's interesting because a lot of people will say cancer doesn't define you. And people say it to me encouragingly. And if you said that, that's totally OK to anyone out there. But in a weird way, it kind of does. And I think that that's OK. I think I've made the definition of how it defines me really true to myself. And it's allowed me to be most authentically myself and live life the way that I see it differently because I have cancer.
- Speaker #0
Right. I think when people say that, what they mean. want to say to you is like, you're not just a patient. You're not just like the hardship you're going through. You are a full human being. You're not just this like story of what people nearly understand cancer to be. And I think that's true with any of us. We are not the hardest thing we're going through. But we can use it as like fuel and share our story, make other people feel less alone, destigmatize it if we do feel any of that in it. And something you and I were talking about, because I think you shared your story so beautifully and you've been so open. And I think it's made a lot of people either dealing with cancer or people who have family members or friends who are dealing with cancer feel less alone, feel seen, feel like there's hope. And we talked about how. That hasn't been easy for some of the people in your life. And something I really believe in is that everybody has the right to share their story. And yes, we do have to be sensitive when other people are involved, but we still have the right to share our version of reality and being like acknowledging that other people have a different version and that's okay. But talk to me a little bit about that. How did you decide that you wanted to share your story so publicly? Maybe if you're open to it, some of the pushback you received. and advice for other people who are starting to get up the courage to share their own story of whatever their adversity is?
- Speaker #1
From initially getting diagnosed, I waited a couple weeks till I had all the information and then I posted about the fact that I had breast cancer. And you know, at first I didn't have a lot of information at all. Like I knew that my, the biopsies were malignant, but I didn't know yet that it had spread throughout my body and I was stage four and all these things. So by the time I posted about it, I did get pushback leading up to that from family like, you're not going to post about it online or that, you know, and I think that's a generational thing as well. And I totally respect when people want that to be private. And I found that I needed it to be public for a few reasons. For myself, the support of it being public, like really fuels me and it's unbelievable and amazing how wonderful people are and want to be. And the biggest thing I found when I was diagnosed, which is what sparked the idea of we got this, is everyone wanted to help. And which is amazing. But that is a burden unintentionally placed kind of on everyone. And it's shocking. It's like this thing where, yes, I have cancer and there's the inner circle of my husband and my parents, my daughter and that that you're focusing on. But then there's all these residual people throughout your entire life who are finding out that. someone their age, someone they grew up with has, you know, stage four cancer. That's really jarring and like scary. And I really felt empathetic towards that.
- Speaker #0
That's really sweet of you. Like here you are going through such a treacherous time and you're like, oh, I feel bad for them that they're observing me going through this difficult time and that it's triggering for them because it's making them remember their own mortality. Because that's exactly what's happening. And you know that.
- Speaker #1
I know that. So true. Yeah. But I think about it like, OK, so if sharing my story helps me, it makes me feel good. Yeah. And and feel supported. But it also gets to help everyone else. How wonderful is that? Yes. Like the whole idea of nobody wins unless everyone wins. It is really important to me. And that's been throughout my whole career, whether it was in finance, sales, like any of that have always felt that way. And I feel that that's genuinely what's made me successful. in my career, but also like in living life, you know, currently. And sharing it in a small way, just like personally at first, and then as it evolved into the nonprofit, felt so natural for me because I really got to do all these things that I always did, like collaborating, partnering. The way that I work with other nonprofits and companies right now is so fun for me. I always say it's like the best sales job I've ever had because I'm selling this idea to support people. And it's not just supporting people with cancer. It's supporting the people who support people with cancer. And ultimately, I do believe that that's everyone. It is. You know, we're all affected in some way, unfortunately, but fortunately, we can create these communities and things to do that. So I felt comfortable sharing publicly. I know not everyone does, and that's totally fine. I really try to offset that expectation, like success during cancer doesn't have to be starting a nonprofit. Right. Like it doesn't have to be sharing your story or other things. It can be whatever that means to you. There's a period of time where I was just golfing every day. I got into golf from chemo, low impact. I really enjoyed it. It felt very like meditative to me. And that's what I did for a little bit. And I had friends when I was starting the nonprofit be like, can you please not do that? Can you just keep golfing? Like, can you just keep like living life? You don't need to work. You don't need to do things for others. And I actually, I talked to Eric, of course, my husband at the time. At the time, my husband.
- Speaker #0
At the time, he was my husband, but that ship has sailed.
- Speaker #1
I'm glad we came to this professional setting. Eric. Eric.
- Speaker #0
Dirty laundry,
- Speaker #1
because we're going to go in on Eric now. Eric is the most amazing life partner ever. Yeah. Does anyone who knows Eric, he's just, I can't believe I got so lucky to have. Eric and I's relationship, I think, has only gotten, you know, more in-depth and evolved through this process where I know it can just tear down so many scenarios. And I'm so grateful for that. But Eric, who's still very much my husband, almost on 11 years married now. We were talking. And why is it at the time? My therapist at the time, who I'm still close with. Yeah. I asked her, I said, am I doing too much? Like, can I tell you this? And can you, from the outside looking in, objectively tell me, like. is this not the right thing for me to be doing? And I explained to her and she said, Alyssa, you have to do this. Like, this is who you are. Like, this is what you have to do. Like, you deserve to do this. And that gave me the validation that I needed. And I've had therapists since and people since disagree with that. Yeah. And I actually just a couple weeks ago called my old therapist back. She had moved and I called her and I said, I need to talk this through to you because I need to know if this still holds true. You know, we're two and a half years later from that moment. Yeah. And she said exact same things. And I think that, again, we know what's right for us. People close to us. Like Eric knew what was right for me. And he puts up with all my, I call them crazy ideas because I've been saying this a lot. I use the word crazy because I think other people see it as crazy. And I almost do it again, kind of like empathetic to them. I'm like doing it to make them feel comfortable. Let me tease you.
- Speaker #0
and tell you my idea is crazy even though it's the sanest thing I've ever heard. But we were,
- Speaker #1
to me, it's totally normal. Yeah. And we were just on a board director's call for We Got This and my stepdad's on the call and he was a chief medical officer in Newton-Wellesley Hospital in Boston, all this stuff. And people were laughing, joking about, you know, what crazy idea has Alyssa told you throughout your life? And everyone raised their hand about an idea except for him. And I said, Les, you know. you're one of the first people I told this idea to you. So you can't not have your hand up. He goes, well, I don't, I didn't think it was crazy at all. Yeah. So thank you, Les. And my mom definitely was waiting on that too. But it really, it's true. I say those things because it's like that helps protect every, I think to me, it's a shield for me to protect myself from other people saying it. I'm going to say that so that you can't say it to me. Because I know that everything I'm doing might seem crazy to someone else, but it's so right for me. Yeah,
- Speaker #0
that's really important because I think so often we don't do the things that we want to do because of some narrative, whether it's true or not, that we've conjured in our heads about what other people will say if we do the thing. And there is a power in like knowing the narrative other people may think and deciding you don't care. And I think that's really beautiful. I also love that you asked your therapist, like, a version of, am I okay? Because I do that all the time. I'm like, do you think I'm okay? Do you think I'm making a good decision right now? Like, I need a yes or no answer. Like, don't give me, like, what do you think? I want to know. I'm paying you to know. And I think that's important. So I really encourage anybody listening, feel free to ask your therapist if they think you're okay. And if they say no, fire them. No, I'm kidding.
- Speaker #1
They say no, find one that will. Somebody, I went with my friend recently to, she got a tattoo. Yeah. And she asked me to come with her and she had come with me when I got my tattoo. And she was going through design and all that. And I like gave some opinions and she goes, I'm going to be honest. She's like, I love your opinion. She's like, I really brought you because I knew that you would support me and be my cheerleader no matter what I wanted to do. I kind of ask people sometimes when they do ask my advice, it's like, okay, which side, which outcome are you hoping to substantiate? Because I think that there's certain times where certain things just. might seem obviously right or wrong. Right. But then there's a lot of times where it's very unclear.
- Speaker #0
Most times.
- Speaker #1
Most times. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that taking the side of like, OK, which way do we want to try to substantiate this to make it a reality and like maybe work that way first?
- Speaker #0
Yeah. Or ask yourself, what outcome do you actually want?
- Speaker #1
Exactly.
- Speaker #0
And what would be most likely to draw the line between your action and the outcome you desire? Because I think sometimes we don't think enough like. I actually had a mentor who described this way of like getting what you want in life. And he would say, you need to write down everything you're doing on one side of the list and everything you want on the other side of the list. And if you can't draw a line between the thing you're doing and the thing you want off the list. And I thought that was so brilliant. And then you can also see where the holes are. Like if there's nothing that you're doing that goes toward one of your major goals, then you have to add something to the list. And I really like that way of thinking of being. like thinking from the end, basically, instead of like, here are the actions I'm going to take. It's like, here's the outcome I want. What actions do I need to take? I do want to ask you too, we talked about how when you were younger, you didn't think you were creative. When you first started your career, you're like, I'm just business minded. I'm a salesperson. And how this experience has really helped you reclaim your creativity. Would you share a little bit about that?
- Speaker #1
Sure. Yeah. When we were talking about that, a lot of it had to do with growing up. I was very, I felt literally creative. I was in plays and did art classes and all that. And then when I did transition into more, you know, I went to business school. I went to a school that only everyone majors in business management. BAPS in college is entrepreneurship, business management. But I mean, entrepreneurship is so creative. It's just, I think I narrowed that thinking. So when I moved to LA and booked a one-way ticket and spontaneously did that, which is kind of a theme of my personality. And just to pivot here real quick, I think a theme of yours and what I've experienced, which I love because the first time we met was through virtually when I did your podcast. So that was the first time we... connected and chatted, which is so cool that it's so full circle. We're back in person.
- Speaker #0
In person.
- Speaker #1
So the fact that we had a seven hour car ride warm up. Yeah. So what? It was last week, last weekend. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
A week ago today.
- Speaker #1
A week ago today.
- Speaker #0
At this time we were talking and you're like,
- Speaker #1
you know what?
- Speaker #0
Say what you said.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I was talking to you about the idea of podcasting and picking your brain around that. And then we were talking about public speaking and we're both working towards that. And it wasn't, you know, it was only a few weeks before that, that I was talking to Erin from Seco Space, who we're with today, about, you know, recording keynote and getting an audience and all that and coming out to Arizona. And then when we were talking, it's like, well, wait, you're doing this too. Would you want to just come with me and we can do it together? Yeah. And that's always how I think is like, I just always think we're stronger together. I think like I'd always want a percentage of something than 100% of nothing. And I think that like. bringing that together, one, it's more fun. I think we also each can accomplish so much more doing that. But what I love most about it is when I presented that to you, you were like, what did you say? You said, I think I have to say yes. Yeah.
- Speaker #0
Well, because the night before I literally was saying to my boyfriend, I want to book a public speaking gig. And then the next day you offered it to Rihanna Platter. And I was like, is it that easy? I should start saying what I want more. But that is one thing, like. We're talking about declarations. When you declare what you want out loud, boldly to a person you can trust, especially who can hold that dream with you and won't say, oh, you're never going to get that. Who can hold and be like, yeah, go for it. Things do happen rather quickly. If you really believe in it and you believe in your capability to do it. I really believe life, the universe, God, like meets you where you are. And then people come into your life that help you get there quicker.
- Speaker #1
Absolutely. And I think a lot of that, too, is by putting it out there, it's it. How are people going to know what you're trying to do unless you put out there? I didn't know that you were trying to get into public speaking. I saw your post about it. Right. And then you were doing that event that you hosted. And then like it just made. And then I was like, oh, you know, I've been meaning to catch up with Lauren and we should talk about this. And like all that organically resulted in us driving to Arizona together, listening to Rob Thomas most of the way.
- Speaker #0
Most people don't know his birth name, but that is it.
- Speaker #1
I was thinking of a longer version of Robin. For some reason, I didn't think of Robert.
- Speaker #0
Robert didn't come to mind.
- Speaker #1
Robin.
- Speaker #0
Robin. Robin Thomas.
- Speaker #1
Robin Thomas.
- Speaker #0
Shout out to one of our generation's best songwriters.
- Speaker #1
We arrived in Arizona just a couple hours before 3 a.m.
- Speaker #0
3 a.m. How on earth? But long story short, it has been amazing to see how you've converted your way of thinking of, oh, I am this businesswoman only. I am just going to do logical, they call it. convergent thinking, you know, A plus B equals C to like, let me sit here and daydream and then make the daydreams happen. So you've got the convergent thinking partnered with the divergent thinking. And now you're using like every part of your life, your childhood, where you knew you were creative and your early adulthood, where you were just doing the business. And you finally met those two people, the younger version of Alyssa and the slightly older version of Alyssa into this beautiful, wise woman you are today. So it's just. It's been beautiful to watch you unleash your inner creative and to see how many people you've also inspired along the way to do the same. Whether they're thrivers, cancer thrivers, or people who are friends and family, or just people in your community. I know you sharing your story and going so boldly after what you want. Like, it's really inspired me. Because I'm like, if Alyssa could accomplish this much while she's undergoing that much, like, I really have no excuse to, like, not go for my dreams. And to not just ask. You're so good at just asking. Asking. I try to ask and partner in a way that's always mutually beneficial. Yes. So like today, and we were just talking and making connections on ways that you and Erin and Seiko Space can work together too. And like we can all help each other in so many impactful ways. I always see that as coming around. I never look for something just to look for it. I always try to figure out like how can we all succeed and genuinely because I do also feel from my own perspective that I'll succeed more too. Like and it's true fun doing it. But I also just appreciate so much that you saw my inner creative before I did. And I didn't really think of that until you were saying that now is because you asked me to be on the podcast originally. And I at that time, I don't think I would have necessarily considered myself a creative.
- Speaker #1
Wild. Right. It's it's interesting to me when I invite people to come on the show and they're like, I'm not creative, though. I'm like, hello, look at your life. Like you had the most creative idea. You're making a registry for cancer patients. Like literally no one's done this before. Because my definition of creativity is somebody who sees something in their mind eye and then makes it out in the world. In mind's eye and then makes it out in the world. So like someone who creates something from nothing and that's you. Anybody who like generates something.
- Speaker #0
When I think we attract each other. Right. Because we can all be so different in what we create. Like Eric, my wonderful husband of almost 11 years now. Been together 15 and forever to go. Aww. Um, we're so different in how we're creative. He's such a talented musician. He works so differently than me. He's so much more attention to detail and other things. And we're such a great balance. We're both creative, but now I can say that. Thank you for bringing that out of me. But it's, it's different. And I've inspired him in different ways where he's kind of taking more of a business look at certain creative things. And I've maybe taken more of a creative look at other business things I'd consider. Yeah. But it really has brought a lot out of me. And I. particularly think back to like when I was a financial advisor and primarily working corporate retirement plans and, you know, I'd wear business suits. And I was always, I felt a little younger than what the age people would expect what I was doing to do. So it always dress up a little more. When I was 18, my freshman year of college, I actually got my real estate license and I rented out apartments in back Bay of Boston. And I got a business suit and, you know, I got my license and I rented out, you know. quite a few apartments that paid for me to go to LA for my internship and other things. And I didn't want anyone to know I was 18. So I always was kind of feeling this, like, I need to present myself in such a way. And I think for the first time, and it really hit me when I started with Impact 11, which was the public speaking community I was in at the boot camp, Jamie Hess got on stage and talked a bit about what you wear for your presentations, like your branding, your image, and how you feel, how you're kind of projecting that to others. And that really motivated me to be like, OK, I'm I'm a sneaker person. I'm going to wear sneakers like that's what I'm more comfortable in. When I used to work at the Apple store in college and other things, I always wore fun sneakers. I was like known for it. My brother was really into sneakers. It's always been a big part of my life. But like I always would put on my, you know, heels or nicer flats for a meeting. Go back to my car, go to my trunk, swap them for my flip flops and then go to my next meeting. I was never comfortable in them. That wasn't what I wore for the day. That wasn't what I would choose to wear.
- Speaker #1
You're dressing up as what you thought you should be instead of who you were.
- Speaker #0
And now I think I really have that confidence and I'm seeing it. I think other people feel that confidence that I'm so sure of what I'm doing and who I am, that I don't need to dress in any certain way that other people feel. I'm going to tell people by who I am and what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah. thought didn't finish, but you get where I'm going. Yes,
- Speaker #1
it did. You don't need to like dress up as something because you are the thing. You don't have to like pretend to be a businesswoman. You are a businesswoman. And you can do it in your own authentic way. And that's also, I think, part of embracing your creativity is embracing the things that make you authentically you. So I'd love to end with this. I believe the key to unleashing creatively is self-love, self-trust. and self-knowledge, that if we can build those things up, we can really get to a place where we have a very stable platform to share ourselves authentically. How have you gotten there? Where are you at in that journey with self-love, self-trust, and self-knowledge? And if you have any advice for people to leave them with,
- Speaker #0
I'd love that. Awesome. I'm always growing in that sense. I do feel most authentically myself than I ever have. And I think that that's not only myself giving me that permission, but... situationally, I am in a spot where not many people are going to tell me to do otherwise. Yeah. And that's rare. And I don't want other people to be in that spot, right? Like that, that is a lot because I have cancer and the joke about the cancer card and those things. But I had this moment that I'm like, well, no one's going to tell me not to try this. No one's, you know, right? Like, I don't have to feel chained down to my career the way that I felt I did a few years ago. But that cancer doesn't need to be the prerequisite for that. And I'm not saying that you need to go and blow up your life and change your jobs and all this, but it should, though. Maybe you should. And, you know, we were talking about this, too. And this is, I think, an important thing is I never worked. my regular like normal corporate jobs more than a couple years at a time and I would always I'd work really hard I'd do really well and then I'd move on and it was that it was never the right thing it wasn't fulfilling enough for me to stay in it long term what I'm doing now and we talked about this for you too it's like I and it's I'm really just loving the way of I really feel the unleash your creativity part yeah I don't think that it clicked for me the first time we talked yeah really I see you owning it
- Speaker #1
in this moment. It's wild to watch you light up because the first time you were kind of just telling me the facts and like, yeah, this is what happened. A plus B equals C. You're still kind of in that, you know, convergent thinking way of being. And now I see you transitioned into this embodied way of being.
- Speaker #0
Like we didn't talk about the story of how I was diagnosed today and that. And I don't think that that's important for what we're discussing. And I don't think that's important for life. Like I don't think that anyone needs to be living in fear that they're going to get cancer. I don't have genetic mutations, a lot of things that scare people because there's no, they try to figure it out. Like, oh, how did she get cancer at 34? I'm 37 now. And I think what's important is that whatever comes at us, who I am now is who I've always been. And I feel like I've been able to tap into that a lot more because of freeing myself into feeling that.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And when you said like, I put, like, I have the cancer card. I was just thinking like. you know combining with what you said you don't have to wait for something really hard or awful to happen to you to reclaim your life like what if we could all pretend like we do have some sort of card that is like a get out of jail free card basically of life and like we shouldn't be waiting for something really difficult to happen we should know like you said we are all terminal and so if you're living your life based on what somebody else thinks is good for you you are putting yourself in the grave prematurely. And you really have to listen to your own inner voice and go with that. And if the people in your life don't support it, then maybe they're not for you. But like you have to be for you. You can't reject yourself. Like I really believe the only failure comes from self-rejection, from like stopping yourself before you even start. So thank you for being a beautiful example of that out in the world, because we all need to follow suit more and like play the life card. Yeah. Because we only have one wild and precious life. We have to live it.
- Speaker #0
Well, I'm going to end with this because I think it's the most important thing I have to say. Yeah. Is you said to me on our car ride, you know how I'm changing lives by by and saving lives potentially by sharing my story. And it really I feel like the time knowing you and the time we've got to spend and even just this conversation, I have to say that I'm sure many people feel this way, but you've changed my life and unleashing my creativity. And I truly wholeheartedly feel that. And I think that it's amazing the way you're changing the world and that people are seeing it and recognizing it with the Webby Awards and the recognition that you're getting. So thank you for what you're doing. Alyssa,
- Speaker #1
you're going to make me cry. Thank you. I love you. I love you too. And I'm so proud of you and so inspired by you. And thank you for being who you are in the world. Who you are is the best thing about you.
- Speaker #2
Thank you for listening and thanks to my guest, Alyssa Kelver. For more info on Alyssa, follow her at Alyssa Kelver and at WeGotThis.org. Unleash Your Inner Creative is hosted and executive produced by me, Lauren LaGrasso, produced by Rachel Fulton, and the theme music is by Liz Full. And I want to again thank you, my creative cutie, for listening. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag Alyssa at Alyssa Kelver so she can share as well. My wish for you this week is that you share your own story and remember to fully live like Alyssa. Embrace your unique path, set your own standards for success, lean on your community for support, and go toward your dream. I love you and I believe in you. Talk with you next week.
