BEST OF: Embrace Pain + Stop Living With Regret & Expectations w/ Spiritual Leader, Mitra Rahbar | Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

Description

Continuing with Mat Leave! This is an episode with my spiritual teacher and friend! This episode TOTALLY changed the way I view regret. I hope it does the same for you! One more week and then I'm back with live episodes :)

On The Guest: Mitra Rahbar is an Iranian born multi-hyphenate who immigrated to the states when she was just a teenager. She’s an author, singer, artist, and a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher to stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Megan Fox, Sheryl Crow and people like you and me.

From this conversation you’ll learn:

Why falling down and staying down is progress
Why pain is such a vital part of life
How to love and accept the times you don’t know what to do
Why not knowing means you’re not ready to know
How and why to live life without expectations
Why vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength
The process of building empathy
How to stop living with regret
The strength in acknowledging pain while your experiencing it
Living in your past vs. living in your present
The problem with making goals your sole focus
Your mission vs your goal
How social media can and should be used
And so much more!

🎙️ Connect & Work with Me:
If you love this episode and want personalized support to break through creative blocks, build confidence, and finally share your work with the world, I’d love to help. As a creative coach, I work with artists, entrepreneurs, and multi-passionate creatives to unleash their inner voice and build a thriving creative life from a place of self-love. ✨ Want to work together? Email me at Lauren.LoGrasso@gmail.com or visit https://www.laurenlograsso.com/contact/ to book a free 15-minute discovery call.

Remember to subscribe/follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. Please leave us a rating and review- it helps SO much in getting the show out there. And tell a friend about the show- podcasts are very personal and tend to be spread person to person. If this show helped you or made you smile, share the love :)

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Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, Creative. It's Lauren here, and I wanted to ask you a quick favor. If you like the show and it has helped you, please remember to rate, review, and follow it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Also consider sharing the show on your Instagram stories or Twitter. Tag the guest at Unleash Your Inner Creative and at Lauren LaGrasso, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And now let's get to the creative chat. Hello and welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, actor, and creative coach. And this show is meant to give you tools to take fear out of the driver's seat and love yourself enough to pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. On the show, we explore creativity, the creative process, process and journey, mental health, spirituality, and self-development. Today you'll hear about embracing the times when you don't know the answers or when you have to endure pain on your creative journey. How open and vulnerable are you about your pain? We all go through it and we assume that when we talk about our pain or feeling loss or being vulnerable, but what I've come to realize recently is that we usually talk about the stuff that's painful in the past tense once we've overcome it. And maybe that's because we want to show people that we're strong enough to get out of that place in our lives. But I think it's causing a lot of us to miss out on the point of connection and the honesty of what it's really like to be a human being. And that kind of dialogue is what we all need as humans and creatives. So today's guest is someone you might recognize from a previous episode back in 2019. She's a spiritual teacher, healer, and a dear friend who sits down with me again. This time to talk about how life has changed for all of us through a pandemic that doesn't seem to be over just yet. Mitra Rabar is an Iranian-born multi-hyphenate who immigrated to the United States when she was just a teenager. Since then, she's embraced herself as a creative in all forms. She's an author, singer, and a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher to stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Megan Fox, Sheryl Crow, and people like you and me. I wanted to have Mitra back on the show because she's one of my favorite humans. And she's helped me in some of my darkest times. And right now is a dark or at least an uncertain time for so many of us. So whether we like it or not, the pandemic has changed us. Maybe you're better for it or maybe you're still in the thick of it and don't even know how to begin to recover. The great news is Meacher will remind you that your pain is an important part of your journey. If you feel in any way alone in your pain, this episode is for you. Now here she is, Mitra Rabar. So Mitra, welcome back to Unleash Your Inner Creative. You are a repeat offender, my favorite kind.
Speaker #1
I love that kind of offending. Yes,
Speaker #0
only that kind. That's the only kind we accept. You're one of my favorite people. You've changed the course of my life so many times, but you came... into my life and really became a spiritual teacher and mentor and friend and family to me back in 2016. And we always have the best talks. And we were just catching up because we haven't seen each other since the pandy. I saw you right before the pandemic.
Speaker #1
Yes, thank God.
Speaker #0
Thank God. I think it was March 2nd or 3rd. And everything shut down on the 13th.
Speaker #1
Yes. I remember we were sitting and we're talking and talking. I can't believe it. I've missed you so much. I'm so happy were here today. You're, you are a magical being and I love spending time with you. It's always like effortless.
Speaker #0
Yeah. It feels the same for me. And yeah, I just remember you were like, I'm trying to get ginger because that's the thing that really helps against COVID in Iran at that time, because COVID was really bad in Iran and you're trying to help back there. And then once COVID hit here, I'm like, I have to get ginger. So. But you and I, before we got on, we're just talking about surrender. And you were talking about how you feel like you're finally in this place of surrender in your life. And how you don't know if you could have gotten here before the things you've gone through. And you couldn't have done it probably in your 30s or 40s. But can you talk a little bit about being in this place of surrender? And is it possible for us to get there when we're younger?
Speaker #1
First of all, I'm sure for certain people it's possible, you know. I was looking at videos of, you know, these Sadhguru and Osho, you know, and they seem to have maybe gotten that earlier in their life than I did. But Is it possible? 100%. But I think it's a lot of things. I think it's like we have to cook. You know, I have to cook. I was telling you, I was in my 30s, 20s, 30s and 40s. I was chasing so many dreams. And I was dealing with so many of my own inner fears and anxieties. As I was teaching, I was learning, I was teaching and I was a student constantly. But I think it comes to a point of really loving the imperfections or accepting them. Like everything is imperfect and never will it be perfect. And like I was telling you before we started recording, I started not expecting anything in the day, but just the day. So what happened is as I released this expectation, I was constantly, constantly surprised, amazed. and caressed and connected more to what I call the source in the universe. It's like, for example, when you expect so much out of anything or any person, they're human, you know, so when they don't give you that expectation, you get so disappointed, so hurt. But if you wake up, kind of don't have an expectation, you put something out. Let's say the most simple thing. You put a post out. You hope for, let's say, 200 likes. You get two likes. That's great. Yeah. That's great because there are two people that you were able to reach out to, you know. And so I think those are the things that are going on now more in like our culture, our world, is we have so much expectation from social media, from feeling we want to be loved, we want to be accepted, where the truth is that those expectations are tiring. They exhaust us. And when we don't expect, then imagine how pleased we are when we go on that Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and we see, oh my God, 10 people listened to my song. 10 people who didn't know it five minutes ago. Yeah. And that's pretty amazing that I could reach 10 people who I don't even know. You know, so I think when you are in that place, you surrender to something that's much greater than you. And it's timeless. Like, you know, that tree, I've been talking about entities a lot, that tree or ocean or sky or flower or pebble. It exists, right? It has life. So does it have expectation, that tree? Really?
Speaker #2
When you put it that way.
Speaker #1
No, no, when we put it, but, you know, does it? Or does that dog on the street have an expectation? It has a feeling. But that's not the expectation. You know, feeling is different than expectation. I feel pain. I feel anguish. I feel hurt. But expectation to me was tiring. And I realized I've been living so much in expectation of what the universe will give me. Not only people. Oh, I'm doing this. So the universe is going to see that and gift me this and this. Well, that's not necessarily always true, right? We can be amazing people. We can do great stuff. But it doesn't mean we're going to always get up. audience clapping for us. Yeah. And that's the hard part. That's the hard part when you're young, because you think I'm doing all this work and I want it. I want, you know, to get the accomplishment, the recognition. So I think it came to a point where I saw so much pain and suffering in our world. And I realized that, yeah, I see the pain and suffering, but every day. I am waking up to something else. And that's just me being present with all that we have, which is unbelievable. I mean, the fact I'm sitting here with you in this room that has a fan, that we have water. I know those are so basic, but they're not basic because a lot of people don't have them. Right. And that the sky is there and you and I are here. I think all those things, somehow something came in me that I saw it. And I think what really helped me was I saw a video Osho did. And Osho's passed away. And he was controversial and all that. But this video, he said how much there is no tomorrow. There is no goal. The goal is now this moment. That once this moment is passed, it's passed, right? So the goal should not be a goal, because that goal is in Tomorrowland. You know, I have a goal. Let's say I want to do this. And then I put all my energies and mind into doing that. So it takes away from my now, right? Takes away from me being present with you right now. Because I keep thinking, oh, about my goal. And once I get to that destination, I'm going to be so happy.
Speaker #0
No, you won't.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
And I think most of us know that consciously, but then we're still here in the material world. and we're taking in that messaging from the material world that... Our value is in what we do and how much we make, not in who we are. So for someone who's really wrapped up in that, I mean, I still struggle with that all the time. I know what you're saying is true. Mentally, I know that's true. I haven't ever been able to live that every day.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
How do you get there?
Speaker #1
You get there when you're aware. You're very aware. You're very mindful. You understand who you are. You understand when there are waves and you go through the waves. You don't stop the waves. I think if you stop the waves, some people never get there. Like I was telling you before we began recording, some people are 80 and 90 and they never get to that place of peace.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Because they don't want to go through the waves. They don't want to do the work to get there. How I got here was also through decades of working on myself, as you know. I mean, I've had the challenges in my childhood, in my adolescent years. I've had the challenges of... being away from my family, of sometimes having no money, of having health challenges, different challenges that life throws you. And every challenge, for some reason, I went through it. I didn't avoid it. I let myself fall down. I was telling someone that the other day. I was saying, falling down is such a great thing. Staying down is such a great thing.
Speaker #0
Well, can you explain that?
Speaker #1
Yeah, because we think always... we have to walk towards something, right? Like I have to walk toward a goal. I have to walk toward my healing. But when you fall down through those broken pieces that we feel like breaking inside, that's what the light enters. When we're vulnerable, that's our raw, pure form. And when we stay down, it's not that we're not progressing. That's completely wrong. When you fall and you stay down, you are progressing. For your soul is recognizing so many things that you would not if you're just walking towards something. So then finally, when you get up, those steps are going to be different. So when someone says to me the other day, they said, I've fallen down and this and this. I said, I'm so excited for you. She said, why? I'm in pain. I said, yes, but I know. what this pain will lead you to. And you can't get there unless you little bit see the blood come through you. You have to bleed to understand what it means then to not bleed when you get up anymore. That blood that leaves you is your release of things that no longer serve you, which you would not have done unless you fell down. And that's what the pandemic did for a lot of people.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
They didn't know what to do with it. They fell down. And when they fell down, their own magic unfolded of not knowing. I said, I love that you don't know. I love when people say, I don't know. I wish, I wish, you know, I wish I had someone, I have told you this before when I was in my twenties or thirties who would tell me this stuff.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But I didn't have it. I really wish I did because half of my life I didn't know. Most of my life I didn't know. I still don't know.
Speaker #0
And I think that we beat ourselves up for not knowing rather than just being in the not knowing. Because we feel like a failure for the fact that we don't know. Like I'm in a state of not knowing something right now. Like I know, but I don't know the right timing. And so I keep beating myself up because I haven't made this choice yet. But I've never been able to do anything in my life until I've known. And once I know, I don't hesitate. I make the move right away. when I don't feel 100% sure of something, I cannot move.
Speaker #1
So I love what you said. You said, I don't know, but then when I know something, I know it. And see, that's the whole thing. I love not knowing because when you don't know, you cannot find the answer.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Because something somewhere has not aligned within you or externally if it's external.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But when the alignment happens, then that means you're ready to know and then you're aligned. you not knowing is like being in a haze, right? And one thing amazing about the fog. is what you then see in the fog, what it unfolds. Imagine you're in a fog. I remember I was lost. One time I was driving and it was foggy and I was on the freeway and I didn't know at all where the hell I am. And I exited, which I don't know was smart or not, where then I further got lost and it was all foggy. And I remember I stopped my car and I got out and I saw that there was this beautiful like sound of a brook or river or something. I said, where is this? And I realized there was like a treasure, like a gem of a nature spot that I never would have known unless that fog had led me to that exit. So what I'm saying, the same thing happens with the fog in our mind, right? Where that fog will lead you. And then the answer that comes is such a different place than when you originally asked that question. before you enter the fog. So I think it's great when you're in a fog, because it means your soul wants to awaken to something that you are on your way to it, but you're not fully aligned to it.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love that Mitra. And I really needed to hear that. Because if we don't do something the right way, like I was even thinking when you're talking about people fall down, they instantly want to get up. Well, if you fall down, you break your leg and you get up right away. you're walking on a broken leg.
Speaker #1
Exactly.
Speaker #0
And I think the pandemic really changed me as I know did most people. And I'm still kind of in, I'm in that pain still. I'm not out of it yet.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I was trying to snap back, but I can't do it. Like something changed in me. And I'm still an optimist. I'm always going to be enthusiastic and excited about life and love people. But I've realize that for me, optimism isn't just like... thinking everything's great all the time. It's believing that the best possible thing can and will happen, but acknowledging the pain along the way.
Speaker #1
I love that you said that. I'm so happy. Thank you for saying that because we had a small discussion about this before we began. Pain is something that we must feel. And if we don't feel it, it means we are not seeing who we are and what life is. Life has pain. We have pain. It's part of our tapestry, just like being vulnerable is, just like being strong is, just like being childlike is. We all have the sage and the child within us, right? We both have the wisdom and the childlike wonder within us. I love that you said that because I think pain should be talked about. Yes. I think this thing of society of always wanting to feel great. This is... is not really realistic, nor is it acknowledging who we are.
Speaker #0
But the other thing I've really noticed from going through this is people are willing to talk about pain, but only when they've come out on the other side.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
There's very little discussion of when you're still in the thick of things.
Speaker #1
I think it's because there's a vulnerability that pain brings, and people don't want others to see them vulnerable because they think it's a sign of weakness. where vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength. When you let someone see your tears, believe it or not, you're giving them a confirmation that it's okay if you cry too. And that's one thing I talked about you, you know, I love about you, Lauren. You use your platform to show vulnerability also, to show the sides of us that goes through life that we bleed through. Why I think pain is so important is because when there's pain, That's when we connect more to the light. Most of us don't connect to the light when we're feeling great. I mean, that requires a person who's really a devotee or a dedicated person and understands really what light means. But light has within it the little streams of darkness. That's why it's the light. because Even if you look, we've talked about this before, if you look out through history, whether it's Jesus, Moses, Ali, anyone, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the pain led them to the light. Our pain leads us to the light of understanding, being compassionate, being kind, understanding other people's pain. How can we understand other people's pain if we... shy away from pain if we don't acknowledge it. I don't think we can. I always say, God, make me always see pain. Always feel it. Always understand it. For that makes me understand you better. Yeah. And understand each other better. And I love when people like yourself use your platform, whether it's of singing, of talking, of spoken word, of dancing, that says, you know, I'm feeling really crappy today. I don't feel good or I'm really sad or I'm really pained about something. I don't want to talk about it. or I want to dance about it or I want to speak about it. If we do that more, you know how much less there will be a suicide rate? You know how much less there will be a depression rate? You know how much less people will not be scared to show themselves as who they really are and not feel constantly judged? Because, of course, if you're feeling judged, if you tell someone, I feel horrible, then you feel they don't want to hear it. Well, you're not going to say it again to them, right?
Speaker #0
Yeah. Because they're not safe.
Speaker #1
No, they're not safe. So I'm so happy that, you know, there are people like you who say, I'm going through this now, not after I've gone through it. I'm going to speak about it right now where I'm going through it. And then other people will say, oh, I'm going through it too. Oh, I'm going through it too. And before you know, everyone is somehow saying someone's going through it. Isn't that beautiful?
Speaker #0
It's very beautiful. And it's so true. And it's so, what struck me when you're talking is. You said, think of how much less suicide there'd be, how much less depression. The minute you acknowledge your pain, it starts to dissipate. Exactly. It's when you're avoiding it that it's its strongest.
Speaker #1
Yes. And you know, I just celebrated a birthday and a new decade of life. And I was thinking, I was writing to a friend. I said, as I reviewed my life, you know, you review your life at different birthdays,
Speaker #0
right?
Speaker #1
I was thinking of all the pain, the challenges, the hardships, all the triumphs, the joy. What stayed was not the pain. It was the love that comes also through the pain. All that I remembered was the love. And someone said, well, you had gone through this, this breakup. I said, yeah, but what stayed was the love. What I recall about that X now is the love. So pain is very interesting. Pain to me. is like the worm that becomes the butterfly pain is what becomes the love pain is what becomes the flight pain is what becomes the freedom for pain allows us our most vulnerability to happen which is when the caterpillar wants to become the butterfly it doesn't know who the butterfly is but it has no choice but to become it pain will only transform us to fly. It will not make us stay down. And I think that's what we need to understand. And what you said is so true. When I'm talking to you about my pain, I'm giving it to the wind to carry away. I'm giving my story to be carried wherever it needs to be carried within me, within you, to the air. And I think that's so important. I've always talked about my anxieties and that I developed when I was young, a phobia disorder. Because I was going through so much change.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And I worked on it, worked on it. And I would diminish one phobia and another one would phobia. But now I understand it. If I hadn't done that work, how could I have discovered who I was?
Speaker #0
Yeah. And it's interesting as you learn more, like something I've learned about anxiety for me is I only feel it when I don't feel safe. And I don't mean like safe in a fake way. Like, I mean, when I don't feel emotionally safe with another person or I'm not sure if someone has best interests for me, that's when the anxiety comes up. So it's like, for me, I've learned it's a teacher because it tells me when I'm not living in alignment with myself and trusting my intuition.
Speaker #1
That's really true. I just put something out. It's on my Instagram and on YouTube. I said, fear is our friend. Anxiety is our friend. There's two types of anxiety, but The type of anxiety most of us experience is because something doesn't make us feel safe or within us we're not safe about what that is. Like, let's say someone asked me to be on Broadway.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Yes, yes. We put that out there. And then let's say that happens and I get anxious. So the reason I'm getting anxious, that anxiety is a really good thing. Because it means I'm excited, but maybe a little bit not confident in what I can do, right? So it means I'm not feeling safe in what the universe is giving to me. So, you know, and sometimes anxiety gets interwoven with excitement.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And we have to remember that always anxiety is not a bad thing. And another type of anxiety, like, you know, fear of flying, fear of intimacy is because it's guiding you back to you. What do I feel unsafe about? What is it that I need? And sometimes it's warning you of something that you shouldn't do also. Like, you know, lots of people said, you know, I was anxious before this procedure. And I went for a second opinion and I realized this.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And that's an anxiety that's guiding you. So anxieties are such different forms, you know, but they can definitely guide us back to us. I mean, not to feel anxiety at all. It's kind of not normal.
Speaker #0
Well, I talked to this woman once, actually it was someone I had on my show. And I was like, hey, so do you feel anxiety at all? And she's like, no. I'm like, what? Like you don't feel she's like, yeah, my sister has it. I just I really don't have it. I'm fine. And I'm like, how? What did you do? Like, how do you live like this? And it was like, I really believe her. I mean, she just seemed chill.
Speaker #1
And you know what? There are people who have zero anxiety. But if you have anxiety, it's not like a bad thing.
Speaker #0
No,
Speaker #1
it's bad when it paralyzes you. And I've had that when I felt paralyzed. And it makes you so indecisive. And that's when you know you have to look at it really deeper and maybe seek help for it. You know, go to someone. But I'm talking about the low-key anxiety where we just feel. And I think that sometimes, you know, something also we process as we go through life. It's like, imagine, I always say a little kitten. When it wants to jump for the first time, it's anxious. It goes back and forth and it's like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do it? It's normal. That's normal to feel. Like right now, if you say to me, Mitra, I got commissioned to do this great film. I'm putting all this energy. Yes, I love this. So you're going to be you're going to be a little bit anxious. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I mean, you care. You care. You're excited. But it's different if that anxiety then paralyzes you that you say, Mitra, I'm not going to even. No, I can't do it. I can't. Then that means something within you doesn't believe or love yourself. So that. Kind of fear can be a lack of self-love and self-belief and self-esteem. But again, I want to say this. I want to say because I know a lot of people who are going to listen to this podcast are going to be people who are younger people or early midlife. And I want to say this. Don't be hard on yourself. Please don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect yourself to go through these. big mountains and hills and valleys, and never fall down, never be anxious, never get depressed, never get disappointed. That's a part of your growing pain. And until we're breathing, I always say this, we are growing. Growth happens much more, of course, when we're young, because we're so much in life. We're so much interacting with life. And as we're much older, We don't interact with life. We interact more with... what our life has been.
Speaker #0
Oh, what does that mean?
Speaker #1
That means like someone who's 90, most of people who are 90 or in their 80s interact with their past.
Speaker #0
Wow.
Speaker #1
But there are those who interact with the present. So they're constantly growing, constantly loving. I remember I have a neighbor who's 102. And I remember when she was turning 99, I went to visit her and I said, how are you doing today? She goes, I was just thinking. I got out and I was able to walk to my yard and I discovered this beautiful bird I'd never seen. And I thought, wow, here I am at 99 seeing something I never did. And I love that she acknowledged and said that to me. For that kind of confirmed my belief that until we are living, we are breathing, we are seeing, we are learning, we're loving. But lots of people shut life out. And some people do it early in life, not 80 or 90. Some people just shut life out. So they constantly live in their past. And that's sometimes really sad to see like a young person do that because they're shutting their own light out.
Speaker #0
So if someone is, I have a couple people close to me that live in a lot of regret. They live in a lot of regret to the point where it's like stopping them from moving forward. If that's happening for someone, how would you advise them to start to inch toward the present and change what they can now?
Speaker #1
You know, regret. is a part of the human story. But when it becomes like an OCD, a constant regret that doesn't leave you, then it's because I believe.
Speaker #0
you don't love yourself. I think, again, it comes from lack of self-love. Because the truth is this, when a moment has passed or an experience has passed, it is no longer in the present, right? So if I'm living constantly in regret, I am not, in a way, seeing the now, the blessings of now. Regret is hard for people who have strong regret are really hard on themselves. They think if they had said yes to something, if they had done it a different route, it would have had a different outcome. That's not necessarily true.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
You know, I think, oh, if I had said at 19, I had said yes to New York and my mom, you know, stopped me and didn't want me to go there, I would have been on Broadway. That's not necessarily true. I may have gone there and had my biggest heartache and left there even more devastated at 20. So I want people who are listening to this, who have regret, understand this. When we regret something, we rewrite the scenario in our minds and the best outcome. If I had done this, then I would have that. Really? Is that true? No. If I had stayed with that boyfriend, I would have had two kids now and been happy. Really? Do you really know that? If I had said yes to that job, Mitra, I would have been in corporate America. Really? What if you were miserable on that job and quit? So I want people who have regret to understand, are you writing the outcome? If you're writing the outcome, you're not being fair to you because you're writing an outcome that possibly, most probably would not have. have been the outcome.
Speaker #1
Mic drop. That's so good. And it's so true. It's so true. I never thought of it that way. When we regret, we write the outcome as being the best possible outcome, but it's most likely not true.
Speaker #0
Not true.
Speaker #1
It's like, I'm thinking,
Speaker #0
oh, tomorrow, if it's going to be a sunny day, then that means I'm going to have a lot of energy and I'm going to have whatever. That's not true. I don't know how I'm going to sleep that night. I don't know when I wake up what's going to go on. So why am I writing an outcome that is never going to, in a way, materialize what I think it is? And that's the same with goals. And I'm getting back to that.
Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. Because I wanted to ask you about this. So you read my mind. Thank you.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So this is about goals. And I, you know, something I've been really much present with in the last year. I've always been very goal oriented.
Speaker #1
Same.
Speaker #0
Yes. Ambitious and very. mission-oriented. But now I've recognized that those goals stop me from living in today. Because goals are for tomorrowland, way in the future. Nothing wrong with having goals, but something really wrong with making them your sole focus, because you're chasing life, and it takes away from the now, which means what? from the gratitude and joy of this moment. I have a person who's telling me for the past 10 years that she wants to move to, I'm giving the name, like let's say Italy.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
So she's everyday miserable living in the United States because she thinks once she gets to Italy, her whole life will change. Her goal is Italy that hasn't been able to materialize. She's been miserable for 10 years, literally. So I asked her, what if Italy never happens? And I said, what if you go to Italy and you don't like Italy? She goes, that destination is really important. I said, no, my friend, what's important is the journey. Because that destination, I will guarantee you, will change. I will guarantee you change. Do you think when I was... 18, I thought of the destinations my life would take. None of them were what I thought at 18. Not better or worse, just different. So destinations are exhausting. It's in the flight that the magic happens.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And you know, you can't see us, but Mitra's beautiful statement there just brought tears to my eyes because I think I recognize that my whole life. I've been chasing goals and putting my worth in goals. And then when I don't achieve them, I don't feel like I'm worth anything. And then I lost all this time. in the present moment, because I was so focused on what the outcome might be.
Speaker #0
Yeah. Now I want to tell you this. I don't know if I ever sent you this email, this word that I love. It's called resalat. Resalat means a mission that is on the soul before it comes into even life. Like people like me who believe in reincarnation or believe in God, believe that we are here each for a reason. You, my friend, have a resalat. You have a mission in this life. And I think it's to be of service. But how you do that service, whether it's through song, through podcast, through music, through whatever comes later, unfolds, is part of the Rasala. So people who are mission-oriented, which I have been myself, we confuse the mission with the goal, I think. Mission already is with us, and we will carry it always, whether we have a goal or not. You will always... See people who are going through a hard plight. You will never be that person who walks and sees a homeless person or a dog on the street or a woman crying and you're going to turn your face. But that's not a goal. That's your mission. It's always with you. Yeah. So I thought always that my mission has to have goals. Like I have to have a goal of doing this and this and that's my mission. But no, my mission is everyday life.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I think that's what we have to recognize. A song is produced and you have a goal producing a song, but you are the song. So you are unfolding each minute, but the song is one time everyone listens to it. Yes. And that's amazing and beautiful, but you are the song. You are the podcast and it's how you live it, how you leave your footprints on the sand that matters, not the goals.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And something I've been thinking a lot about lately is like, can I just be happy doing it? Because if I'm not happy doing it, then there's no point in searching for an outcome in it. Like I have to enjoy it or else it's not worth it to me.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You know, again, search. There is no search but the now. And the search is the now. It's such a deep but simple statement. We spend most of our life thinking that somewhere else, something else. The grass is greener. The goal will make us happier. Once I get married, I'll be so happy. Once I have my first kid, I'll be so happy. Once I go on Deepak Chopra's show, I'll be so happy. Really? Does any of those change the definition of who I am? Does it change the definition of who we are? Am I not Mitra, whether I write five books or sing songs? I'm still Mitra. The song is me. the book is me and i need to be present for that song to be heard by myself so the goal is the now but there's nothing wrong in saying i would love to do these things and i hope i can for i think those would be amazing to do but to think that those are going to make me all of a sudden three hundred sixty degrees different or change
Speaker #1
doesn't happen. So how do you keep the goal and not get attached to it? Because part of me, like spiritually, I a hundred percent agree with what you're saying in the body human. In my experience, I'm like 60% on board, 40% terrified of what you're saying. Cause there's a part of me that still thinks I can control things. And part of me feels like, okay, if I have the goal, but then I'm like, okay, well, but if it doesn't happen, that's also great. because I'm still me. then I'm not actually like ambitious and going toward the goal. And there is a part of me that feels like I will never be happy if I don't hit these certain milestones.
Speaker #0
I know because I think I know who you are. And I know that you always want to do better and better and better.
Speaker #1
Busted.
Speaker #0
But what I want to say to you is you're already good. So doing better, you're already there. So those things are just desserts. The main ingredient is what's important. And that's for the soul to be awakened and to say, I am mindful of life. I am mindful of people, right? I'm mindful of pain. I'm mindful of joy. Ambition, because I was always so greatly ambitious, I've realized is a word that's kind of weird. Because it's about chasing something. It's about thinking that when I get there, that level. that level puts me at a different hierarchy, or that goal puts me at a different place. I don't think that's true, my love. I always say this. I say the best poets, the best singers, the best spiritual teachers are not known to more than 10, 15 people, because they've recognized that their breath, their demeanor, how they leave their footprints in the sand, that's That's what counts, not these levels we put, you know? So I think it's hard when you're young because you feel, no, each threshold, Mitra, no, I hear you. But no, you see, when I do this, then it's going to put me more and I can do more. And when I'm there, I can do more. You could do more without all those levels just by being of service to the world. It doesn't mean... when you get to those levels, you will be of more service. I'll tell you something, people who have 10 million Instagram followers are not necessarily of more service to the world than that person who's right now in Afghanistan, who's built a school.
Speaker #1
Certainly not.
Speaker #0
So again, these levels are very much something society has taught us in modern day society that we have to hit these, you know, markers. We have to, we have to get here and there. What I'm saying, the only marker that matters is those footprints in the sand, is how you wish to walk. You were telling me about your beautiful friend, Matt, who's in heaven watching us. And you were saying in his 26 years what he did. And to me, that's the perfect example of a person who was not a celebrity, but was in his young life. bringing love and joy to so many. And now that you told me about him, now I will tell five more people to them. That resonance is all that stays, not the marker points. The marker points actually set me up for a failure because those markers will never be enough. I'll be 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 60. And I'll think then at 70, 80, I never hit my markers. They'll make me feel like crap. And who set those markers anyway? Yeah, who set those markers? Modern day pop culture society, which deals with shallowness. But now they're becoming more alive. And hopefully we're understanding differently.
Speaker #1
But do you also feel like, I feel like I'm seeing a thing where people are becoming more alive and aware and waking up. And there's an equal uprising of people who are like. less that. Like with TikTok and listen, I've talked in my last podcast about how I'm not hating on TikTok. I think it's a great tool. If you can't beat them, join them. Like I will get on there and talk about the things I want to talk about. But the fact is there's a lot of people on there that are extremely famous for doing very simple dance moves and lip syncing. So it's like, there's this uprising of that kind of thing. Like people who have like 100 million followers. And that's the thing that's hard for me to wrap my brain around. And I'm not being bitter when I ask this. I'm just like, why do those people or why are those people gaining recognition when there's people who are like the teachers of the 15 who are doing it more in silence or in the shadows? Like, why does that happen?
Speaker #0
It's a very good question. And someone asked me a different question last night. It was not about TikTok or social media, but it was the exact same question. It's interesting when a famous person boils an egg, it will get 50 million hits. It's ridiculous. It's when a famous person is going to an ice cream stand, everyone's looking, oh, what ice cream are they eating? That's part of a culture that has developed in the past 20, 30 years of making these, quote, celebrity famous people our gods. And we have seen, haven't we, that a lot of them actually are not gods.
Speaker #1
Not even close.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So that is what we humans have done. Before an actor or actress or a singer or a singer was a singer or actress and actress. And we looked at their work and we either said we love it or we don't like their art or we like their song. But now it's like if they're just going and even saying a cuss word. gets 200 million hits. And that's what... I'm hoping people will question themselves and their intellect and their choices that they're making. Do we want to fuel goodness in this world? Do we want to fuel true joy, true pain, true art? Or are we just looking for people that will take our minds away because we don't want to think? Let me tell you, there's a lot of famous people I love. They do great work. They use their platforms for great work. That, to me, is a human being that leaves good footprints in the sand. But it's what pop culture has allowed and what pop culture has to undo. Because every time these people then do a little bit wrong, then they fall from grace huge. And we then shun them. And we just like... go crazy and cuss them out and just slaughter them. None of it's productive. None of it's humane, really. None of them is. They're not gods and they're not satans.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
They're people like us. But I think, and this is what I say, I have on my social media, like five, six different, I know people saying five or six, but that's true that I may go to, you know, I don't go on it every day that inspire me or make me laugh or make me think or are entertainment, but true entertainment, true joy, true art, inspirational. But all the rest is noise to me. Why would I need to fill my mind with what this person is doing to cook an egg? When I can listen to a song that's going to make my heart dance, or read four lines that's going to make me feel wonderful. So it's, you know, it's what pop culture has allowed, glorifying celebrity, glorifying the smallest everyday mundane acts and then trashing them. Trashing them, which then creates them to have breakdowns and then they can never find a life. So I hope people will listen and I hope they will start making the change, you know. That's the one part of social media that's so hard to kind of stomach.
Speaker #1
Yeah, totally. And I think that that's a big part of why people get anxiety when they go on there. It's like you can feel the toxicity from that part.
Speaker #0
It is toxicity. It's like if my validation is coming from like we get back to the beginning of our conversation. If I worked on this post and I just got three likes and it was such an amazing post. And then someone comes with this, like... Put someone who's mooning other people and gets 50 million likes. That has to make me question where our minds are. It has to make me. And I question it. And I know, I know when that truth and that light is being distorted. And to me, I can recognize that. And I'm happy I can. And I'm happy I don't give in to it. Because I think it's very important. Very important. Let's not glorify things. Let's give credit to goodness.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Let's give credit to kindness, love, true art. You know, I think if we do, we would not have had the problems in our world that we have today. Yeah. You know, someone told me the other day, it really upset me. I said, I'm doing this for this young family, this young boy I'm mentoring in Afghanistan, and this and this. And she said, well, thank God that's not our problem. And I said, but no, it is my problem. Because I can feel energies. And I know you can too, Lauren. I can feel when somewhere or someone is in pain. And I don't want to be turning my back on them. See, those things. need to be talked about.
Speaker #1
Well, the lie that we're separate from each other's pain is what causes most of the pain in the world.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You said that it's brilliant what you said. And it goes back to these social media things too. Social media is a platform that should be used as a privilege to say or do something that will create a positive impact, whether it's even a pain, it's a positive impact, a news, it creates awareness. It is not there to glorify and then knock down things. I don't think it is.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
I don't think it should be. If it is. then we have lost what its essence should be for us.
Speaker #1
I agree. What can we do as individuals to help push pop culture back in a more humane direction? Is there anything we can do?
Speaker #0
I think a lot more people are emerging. People like yourself who are voicing it. I think that's what's going to make the difference. When someone listens to this, and whether it's two people or four people or 20 people, who will then also think about it the next time they go on social media. It takes time. It took us time to get here, and it will take us time to undo it. But we can if we choose to, if we choose to.
Speaker #1
I hope we all make the choice.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Mitra, I love you.
Speaker #0
I love you so much. I love you for, as a very young person, for having so much wisdom. and sharing this wisdom on so many different platforms through your music, through your words, through your videos with people and podcasts, I think your footprints are beautifully etched. I really do. And I think it's a gift when someone young, especially comes to these points or starts questioning these things. I think it's wonderful. And I think the people who are listening are going to walk away from this with some resonance. It's going to stay with them.
Speaker #1
I think so too. Well, I know that. I know so because every time anyone walks away from you or a workshop you've done, which you do so many amazing workshops, and we definitely need to plug those at the end, but there's always a change. I've never had a conversation with you and not been changed after. And you are such a brilliant teacher, mentor, friend. You're my LA mother.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love you.
Speaker #1
And I just, I'm so grateful you exist. So thank you for your footprints and for leading the way.
Speaker #0
Thank you so much. And let's have a beautiful day.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
Okay. Love you. Love you.
Speaker #1
Thank you for listening. And thanks to my guest, Mitra Rabar. For more info on Mitra, you can follow her at voiceofmitra on Instagram. You can also find her music, meditations, and teaching on her YouTube channel, Mitra Ma. That's M-I-T-R-A-M-A 11. Mitra Ma 11. Thanks so much to Unleash associate producer Emily Shulmanovich. You can follow her at WeCan'tFindEmily. Thank you to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow Unleash on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag Mitra at Voice of Mitra so she can share it too. My wish for you this week is that you welcome whatever pain you're going through as part of your journey. Feel it. Share it. Let it be. And know that in the end, it will alchemize into strength. I love you and I believe in you. I'll talk with you next week.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

Unleash Your Inner Creative is a Webby Award-winning podcast designed to help you break free from self-doubt, embrace your creativity, and live an authentic, purpose-filled life. I’m Lauren LoGrasso, a multi-passionate creative, and I believe that repressed creativity is one of the root causes of unhappiness—which is why I’m here to help you unleash yours! Through a blend of inspiring interviews, solo episodes, and coaching sessions, this show explores creativity, mental health, spirituality, and self-development.

On the pod, you'll hear from incredible guests like The Artist’s Way author Julia Cameron, How I Built This host Guy Raz, brain coach Jim Kwik, and Codependent No More's Melody Beattie, as well as artists and performers like Chrisette Michele and Hannah Berner. Together, we share the tools and insights to help you rewire your mindset, overcome fear, and follow your heart’s deepest desires. Whether you’re a lifelong creative or just feeling a spark, I invite you to tune in, tap into your true potential, and unleash your inner creative!

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

From this conversation you’ll learn:

Why falling down and staying down is progress
Why pain is such a vital part of life
How to love and accept the times you don’t know what to do
Why not knowing means you’re not ready to know
How and why to live life without expectations
Why vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength
The process of building empathy
How to stop living with regret
The strength in acknowledging pain while your experiencing it
Living in your past vs. living in your present
The problem with making goals your sole focus
Your mission vs your goal
How social media can and should be used
And so much more!

Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative

Follow me: @LaurenLoGrasso

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, Creative. It's Lauren here, and I wanted to ask you a quick favor. If you like the show and it has helped you, please remember to rate, review, and follow it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Also consider sharing the show on your Instagram stories or Twitter. Tag the guest at Unleash Your Inner Creative and at Lauren LaGrasso, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And now let's get to the creative chat. Hello and welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, actor, and creative coach. And this show is meant to give you tools to take fear out of the driver's seat and love yourself enough to pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. On the show, we explore creativity, the creative process, process and journey, mental health, spirituality, and self-development. Today you'll hear about embracing the times when you don't know the answers or when you have to endure pain on your creative journey. How open and vulnerable are you about your pain? We all go through it and we assume that when we talk about our pain or feeling loss or being vulnerable, but what I've come to realize recently is that we usually talk about the stuff that's painful in the past tense once we've overcome it. And maybe that's because we want to show people that we're strong enough to get out of that place in our lives. But I think it's causing a lot of us to miss out on the point of connection and the honesty of what it's really like to be a human being. And that kind of dialogue is what we all need as humans and creatives. So today's guest is someone you might recognize from a previous episode back in 2019. She's a spiritual teacher, healer, and a dear friend who sits down with me again. This time to talk about how life has changed for all of us through a pandemic that doesn't seem to be over just yet. Mitra Rabar is an Iranian-born multi-hyphenate who immigrated to the United States when she was just a teenager. Since then, she's embraced herself as a creative in all forms. She's an author, singer, and a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher to stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Megan Fox, Sheryl Crow, and people like you and me. I wanted to have Mitra back on the show because she's one of my favorite humans. And she's helped me in some of my darkest times. And right now is a dark or at least an uncertain time for so many of us. So whether we like it or not, the pandemic has changed us. Maybe you're better for it or maybe you're still in the thick of it and don't even know how to begin to recover. The great news is Meacher will remind you that your pain is an important part of your journey. If you feel in any way alone in your pain, this episode is for you. Now here she is, Mitra Rabar. So Mitra, welcome back to Unleash Your Inner Creative. You are a repeat offender, my favorite kind.
Speaker #1
I love that kind of offending. Yes,
Speaker #0
only that kind. That's the only kind we accept. You're one of my favorite people. You've changed the course of my life so many times, but you came... into my life and really became a spiritual teacher and mentor and friend and family to me back in 2016. And we always have the best talks. And we were just catching up because we haven't seen each other since the pandy. I saw you right before the pandemic.
Speaker #1
Yes, thank God.
Speaker #0
Thank God. I think it was March 2nd or 3rd. And everything shut down on the 13th.
Speaker #1
Yes. I remember we were sitting and we're talking and talking. I can't believe it. I've missed you so much. I'm so happy were here today. You're, you are a magical being and I love spending time with you. It's always like effortless.
Speaker #0
Yeah. It feels the same for me. And yeah, I just remember you were like, I'm trying to get ginger because that's the thing that really helps against COVID in Iran at that time, because COVID was really bad in Iran and you're trying to help back there. And then once COVID hit here, I'm like, I have to get ginger. So. But you and I, before we got on, we're just talking about surrender. And you were talking about how you feel like you're finally in this place of surrender in your life. And how you don't know if you could have gotten here before the things you've gone through. And you couldn't have done it probably in your 30s or 40s. But can you talk a little bit about being in this place of surrender? And is it possible for us to get there when we're younger?
Speaker #1
First of all, I'm sure for certain people it's possible, you know. I was looking at videos of, you know, these Sadhguru and Osho, you know, and they seem to have maybe gotten that earlier in their life than I did. But Is it possible? 100%. But I think it's a lot of things. I think it's like we have to cook. You know, I have to cook. I was telling you, I was in my 30s, 20s, 30s and 40s. I was chasing so many dreams. And I was dealing with so many of my own inner fears and anxieties. As I was teaching, I was learning, I was teaching and I was a student constantly. But I think it comes to a point of really loving the imperfections or accepting them. Like everything is imperfect and never will it be perfect. And like I was telling you before we started recording, I started not expecting anything in the day, but just the day. So what happened is as I released this expectation, I was constantly, constantly surprised, amazed. and caressed and connected more to what I call the source in the universe. It's like, for example, when you expect so much out of anything or any person, they're human, you know, so when they don't give you that expectation, you get so disappointed, so hurt. But if you wake up, kind of don't have an expectation, you put something out. Let's say the most simple thing. You put a post out. You hope for, let's say, 200 likes. You get two likes. That's great. Yeah. That's great because there are two people that you were able to reach out to, you know. And so I think those are the things that are going on now more in like our culture, our world, is we have so much expectation from social media, from feeling we want to be loved, we want to be accepted, where the truth is that those expectations are tiring. They exhaust us. And when we don't expect, then imagine how pleased we are when we go on that Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and we see, oh my God, 10 people listened to my song. 10 people who didn't know it five minutes ago. Yeah. And that's pretty amazing that I could reach 10 people who I don't even know. You know, so I think when you are in that place, you surrender to something that's much greater than you. And it's timeless. Like, you know, that tree, I've been talking about entities a lot, that tree or ocean or sky or flower or pebble. It exists, right? It has life. So does it have expectation, that tree? Really?
Speaker #2
When you put it that way.
Speaker #1
No, no, when we put it, but, you know, does it? Or does that dog on the street have an expectation? It has a feeling. But that's not the expectation. You know, feeling is different than expectation. I feel pain. I feel anguish. I feel hurt. But expectation to me was tiring. And I realized I've been living so much in expectation of what the universe will give me. Not only people. Oh, I'm doing this. So the universe is going to see that and gift me this and this. Well, that's not necessarily always true, right? We can be amazing people. We can do great stuff. But it doesn't mean we're going to always get up. audience clapping for us. Yeah. And that's the hard part. That's the hard part when you're young, because you think I'm doing all this work and I want it. I want, you know, to get the accomplishment, the recognition. So I think it came to a point where I saw so much pain and suffering in our world. And I realized that, yeah, I see the pain and suffering, but every day. I am waking up to something else. And that's just me being present with all that we have, which is unbelievable. I mean, the fact I'm sitting here with you in this room that has a fan, that we have water. I know those are so basic, but they're not basic because a lot of people don't have them. Right. And that the sky is there and you and I are here. I think all those things, somehow something came in me that I saw it. And I think what really helped me was I saw a video Osho did. And Osho's passed away. And he was controversial and all that. But this video, he said how much there is no tomorrow. There is no goal. The goal is now this moment. That once this moment is passed, it's passed, right? So the goal should not be a goal, because that goal is in Tomorrowland. You know, I have a goal. Let's say I want to do this. And then I put all my energies and mind into doing that. So it takes away from my now, right? Takes away from me being present with you right now. Because I keep thinking, oh, about my goal. And once I get to that destination, I'm going to be so happy.
Speaker #0
No, you won't.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
And I think most of us know that consciously, but then we're still here in the material world. and we're taking in that messaging from the material world that... Our value is in what we do and how much we make, not in who we are. So for someone who's really wrapped up in that, I mean, I still struggle with that all the time. I know what you're saying is true. Mentally, I know that's true. I haven't ever been able to live that every day.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
How do you get there?
Speaker #1
You get there when you're aware. You're very aware. You're very mindful. You understand who you are. You understand when there are waves and you go through the waves. You don't stop the waves. I think if you stop the waves, some people never get there. Like I was telling you before we began recording, some people are 80 and 90 and they never get to that place of peace.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Because they don't want to go through the waves. They don't want to do the work to get there. How I got here was also through decades of working on myself, as you know. I mean, I've had the challenges in my childhood, in my adolescent years. I've had the challenges of... being away from my family, of sometimes having no money, of having health challenges, different challenges that life throws you. And every challenge, for some reason, I went through it. I didn't avoid it. I let myself fall down. I was telling someone that the other day. I was saying, falling down is such a great thing. Staying down is such a great thing.
Speaker #0
Well, can you explain that?
Speaker #1
Yeah, because we think always... we have to walk towards something, right? Like I have to walk toward a goal. I have to walk toward my healing. But when you fall down through those broken pieces that we feel like breaking inside, that's what the light enters. When we're vulnerable, that's our raw, pure form. And when we stay down, it's not that we're not progressing. That's completely wrong. When you fall and you stay down, you are progressing. For your soul is recognizing so many things that you would not if you're just walking towards something. So then finally, when you get up, those steps are going to be different. So when someone says to me the other day, they said, I've fallen down and this and this. I said, I'm so excited for you. She said, why? I'm in pain. I said, yes, but I know. what this pain will lead you to. And you can't get there unless you little bit see the blood come through you. You have to bleed to understand what it means then to not bleed when you get up anymore. That blood that leaves you is your release of things that no longer serve you, which you would not have done unless you fell down. And that's what the pandemic did for a lot of people.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
They didn't know what to do with it. They fell down. And when they fell down, their own magic unfolded of not knowing. I said, I love that you don't know. I love when people say, I don't know. I wish, I wish, you know, I wish I had someone, I have told you this before when I was in my twenties or thirties who would tell me this stuff.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But I didn't have it. I really wish I did because half of my life I didn't know. Most of my life I didn't know. I still don't know.
Speaker #0
And I think that we beat ourselves up for not knowing rather than just being in the not knowing. Because we feel like a failure for the fact that we don't know. Like I'm in a state of not knowing something right now. Like I know, but I don't know the right timing. And so I keep beating myself up because I haven't made this choice yet. But I've never been able to do anything in my life until I've known. And once I know, I don't hesitate. I make the move right away. when I don't feel 100% sure of something, I cannot move.
Speaker #1
So I love what you said. You said, I don't know, but then when I know something, I know it. And see, that's the whole thing. I love not knowing because when you don't know, you cannot find the answer.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Because something somewhere has not aligned within you or externally if it's external.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But when the alignment happens, then that means you're ready to know and then you're aligned. you not knowing is like being in a haze, right? And one thing amazing about the fog. is what you then see in the fog, what it unfolds. Imagine you're in a fog. I remember I was lost. One time I was driving and it was foggy and I was on the freeway and I didn't know at all where the hell I am. And I exited, which I don't know was smart or not, where then I further got lost and it was all foggy. And I remember I stopped my car and I got out and I saw that there was this beautiful like sound of a brook or river or something. I said, where is this? And I realized there was like a treasure, like a gem of a nature spot that I never would have known unless that fog had led me to that exit. So what I'm saying, the same thing happens with the fog in our mind, right? Where that fog will lead you. And then the answer that comes is such a different place than when you originally asked that question. before you enter the fog. So I think it's great when you're in a fog, because it means your soul wants to awaken to something that you are on your way to it, but you're not fully aligned to it.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love that Mitra. And I really needed to hear that. Because if we don't do something the right way, like I was even thinking when you're talking about people fall down, they instantly want to get up. Well, if you fall down, you break your leg and you get up right away. you're walking on a broken leg.
Speaker #1
Exactly.
Speaker #0
And I think the pandemic really changed me as I know did most people. And I'm still kind of in, I'm in that pain still. I'm not out of it yet.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I was trying to snap back, but I can't do it. Like something changed in me. And I'm still an optimist. I'm always going to be enthusiastic and excited about life and love people. But I've realize that for me, optimism isn't just like... thinking everything's great all the time. It's believing that the best possible thing can and will happen, but acknowledging the pain along the way.
Speaker #1
I love that you said that. I'm so happy. Thank you for saying that because we had a small discussion about this before we began. Pain is something that we must feel. And if we don't feel it, it means we are not seeing who we are and what life is. Life has pain. We have pain. It's part of our tapestry, just like being vulnerable is, just like being strong is, just like being childlike is. We all have the sage and the child within us, right? We both have the wisdom and the childlike wonder within us. I love that you said that because I think pain should be talked about. Yes. I think this thing of society of always wanting to feel great. This is... is not really realistic, nor is it acknowledging who we are.
Speaker #0
But the other thing I've really noticed from going through this is people are willing to talk about pain, but only when they've come out on the other side.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
There's very little discussion of when you're still in the thick of things.
Speaker #1
I think it's because there's a vulnerability that pain brings, and people don't want others to see them vulnerable because they think it's a sign of weakness. where vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength. When you let someone see your tears, believe it or not, you're giving them a confirmation that it's okay if you cry too. And that's one thing I talked about you, you know, I love about you, Lauren. You use your platform to show vulnerability also, to show the sides of us that goes through life that we bleed through. Why I think pain is so important is because when there's pain, That's when we connect more to the light. Most of us don't connect to the light when we're feeling great. I mean, that requires a person who's really a devotee or a dedicated person and understands really what light means. But light has within it the little streams of darkness. That's why it's the light. because Even if you look, we've talked about this before, if you look out through history, whether it's Jesus, Moses, Ali, anyone, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the pain led them to the light. Our pain leads us to the light of understanding, being compassionate, being kind, understanding other people's pain. How can we understand other people's pain if we... shy away from pain if we don't acknowledge it. I don't think we can. I always say, God, make me always see pain. Always feel it. Always understand it. For that makes me understand you better. Yeah. And understand each other better. And I love when people like yourself use your platform, whether it's of singing, of talking, of spoken word, of dancing, that says, you know, I'm feeling really crappy today. I don't feel good or I'm really sad or I'm really pained about something. I don't want to talk about it. or I want to dance about it or I want to speak about it. If we do that more, you know how much less there will be a suicide rate? You know how much less there will be a depression rate? You know how much less people will not be scared to show themselves as who they really are and not feel constantly judged? Because, of course, if you're feeling judged, if you tell someone, I feel horrible, then you feel they don't want to hear it. Well, you're not going to say it again to them, right?
Speaker #0
Yeah. Because they're not safe.
Speaker #1
No, they're not safe. So I'm so happy that, you know, there are people like you who say, I'm going through this now, not after I've gone through it. I'm going to speak about it right now where I'm going through it. And then other people will say, oh, I'm going through it too. Oh, I'm going through it too. And before you know, everyone is somehow saying someone's going through it. Isn't that beautiful?
Speaker #0
It's very beautiful. And it's so true. And it's so, what struck me when you're talking is. You said, think of how much less suicide there'd be, how much less depression. The minute you acknowledge your pain, it starts to dissipate. Exactly. It's when you're avoiding it that it's its strongest.
Speaker #1
Yes. And you know, I just celebrated a birthday and a new decade of life. And I was thinking, I was writing to a friend. I said, as I reviewed my life, you know, you review your life at different birthdays,
Speaker #0
right?
Speaker #1
I was thinking of all the pain, the challenges, the hardships, all the triumphs, the joy. What stayed was not the pain. It was the love that comes also through the pain. All that I remembered was the love. And someone said, well, you had gone through this, this breakup. I said, yeah, but what stayed was the love. What I recall about that X now is the love. So pain is very interesting. Pain to me. is like the worm that becomes the butterfly pain is what becomes the love pain is what becomes the flight pain is what becomes the freedom for pain allows us our most vulnerability to happen which is when the caterpillar wants to become the butterfly it doesn't know who the butterfly is but it has no choice but to become it pain will only transform us to fly. It will not make us stay down. And I think that's what we need to understand. And what you said is so true. When I'm talking to you about my pain, I'm giving it to the wind to carry away. I'm giving my story to be carried wherever it needs to be carried within me, within you, to the air. And I think that's so important. I've always talked about my anxieties and that I developed when I was young, a phobia disorder. Because I was going through so much change.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And I worked on it, worked on it. And I would diminish one phobia and another one would phobia. But now I understand it. If I hadn't done that work, how could I have discovered who I was?
Speaker #0
Yeah. And it's interesting as you learn more, like something I've learned about anxiety for me is I only feel it when I don't feel safe. And I don't mean like safe in a fake way. Like, I mean, when I don't feel emotionally safe with another person or I'm not sure if someone has best interests for me, that's when the anxiety comes up. So it's like, for me, I've learned it's a teacher because it tells me when I'm not living in alignment with myself and trusting my intuition.
Speaker #1
That's really true. I just put something out. It's on my Instagram and on YouTube. I said, fear is our friend. Anxiety is our friend. There's two types of anxiety, but The type of anxiety most of us experience is because something doesn't make us feel safe or within us we're not safe about what that is. Like, let's say someone asked me to be on Broadway.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Yes, yes. We put that out there. And then let's say that happens and I get anxious. So the reason I'm getting anxious, that anxiety is a really good thing. Because it means I'm excited, but maybe a little bit not confident in what I can do, right? So it means I'm not feeling safe in what the universe is giving to me. So, you know, and sometimes anxiety gets interwoven with excitement.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And we have to remember that always anxiety is not a bad thing. And another type of anxiety, like, you know, fear of flying, fear of intimacy is because it's guiding you back to you. What do I feel unsafe about? What is it that I need? And sometimes it's warning you of something that you shouldn't do also. Like, you know, lots of people said, you know, I was anxious before this procedure. And I went for a second opinion and I realized this.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And that's an anxiety that's guiding you. So anxieties are such different forms, you know, but they can definitely guide us back to us. I mean, not to feel anxiety at all. It's kind of not normal.
Speaker #0
Well, I talked to this woman once, actually it was someone I had on my show. And I was like, hey, so do you feel anxiety at all? And she's like, no. I'm like, what? Like you don't feel she's like, yeah, my sister has it. I just I really don't have it. I'm fine. And I'm like, how? What did you do? Like, how do you live like this? And it was like, I really believe her. I mean, she just seemed chill.
Speaker #1
And you know what? There are people who have zero anxiety. But if you have anxiety, it's not like a bad thing.
Speaker #0
No,
Speaker #1
it's bad when it paralyzes you. And I've had that when I felt paralyzed. And it makes you so indecisive. And that's when you know you have to look at it really deeper and maybe seek help for it. You know, go to someone. But I'm talking about the low-key anxiety where we just feel. And I think that sometimes, you know, something also we process as we go through life. It's like, imagine, I always say a little kitten. When it wants to jump for the first time, it's anxious. It goes back and forth and it's like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do it? It's normal. That's normal to feel. Like right now, if you say to me, Mitra, I got commissioned to do this great film. I'm putting all this energy. Yes, I love this. So you're going to be you're going to be a little bit anxious. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I mean, you care. You care. You're excited. But it's different if that anxiety then paralyzes you that you say, Mitra, I'm not going to even. No, I can't do it. I can't. Then that means something within you doesn't believe or love yourself. So that. Kind of fear can be a lack of self-love and self-belief and self-esteem. But again, I want to say this. I want to say because I know a lot of people who are going to listen to this podcast are going to be people who are younger people or early midlife. And I want to say this. Don't be hard on yourself. Please don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect yourself to go through these. big mountains and hills and valleys, and never fall down, never be anxious, never get depressed, never get disappointed. That's a part of your growing pain. And until we're breathing, I always say this, we are growing. Growth happens much more, of course, when we're young, because we're so much in life. We're so much interacting with life. And as we're much older, We don't interact with life. We interact more with... what our life has been.
Speaker #0
Oh, what does that mean?
Speaker #1
That means like someone who's 90, most of people who are 90 or in their 80s interact with their past.
Speaker #0
Wow.
Speaker #1
But there are those who interact with the present. So they're constantly growing, constantly loving. I remember I have a neighbor who's 102. And I remember when she was turning 99, I went to visit her and I said, how are you doing today? She goes, I was just thinking. I got out and I was able to walk to my yard and I discovered this beautiful bird I'd never seen. And I thought, wow, here I am at 99 seeing something I never did. And I love that she acknowledged and said that to me. For that kind of confirmed my belief that until we are living, we are breathing, we are seeing, we are learning, we're loving. But lots of people shut life out. And some people do it early in life, not 80 or 90. Some people just shut life out. So they constantly live in their past. And that's sometimes really sad to see like a young person do that because they're shutting their own light out.
Speaker #0
So if someone is, I have a couple people close to me that live in a lot of regret. They live in a lot of regret to the point where it's like stopping them from moving forward. If that's happening for someone, how would you advise them to start to inch toward the present and change what they can now?
Speaker #1
You know, regret. is a part of the human story. But when it becomes like an OCD, a constant regret that doesn't leave you, then it's because I believe.
Speaker #0
you don't love yourself. I think, again, it comes from lack of self-love. Because the truth is this, when a moment has passed or an experience has passed, it is no longer in the present, right? So if I'm living constantly in regret, I am not, in a way, seeing the now, the blessings of now. Regret is hard for people who have strong regret are really hard on themselves. They think if they had said yes to something, if they had done it a different route, it would have had a different outcome. That's not necessarily true.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
You know, I think, oh, if I had said at 19, I had said yes to New York and my mom, you know, stopped me and didn't want me to go there, I would have been on Broadway. That's not necessarily true. I may have gone there and had my biggest heartache and left there even more devastated at 20. So I want people who are listening to this, who have regret, understand this. When we regret something, we rewrite the scenario in our minds and the best outcome. If I had done this, then I would have that. Really? Is that true? No. If I had stayed with that boyfriend, I would have had two kids now and been happy. Really? Do you really know that? If I had said yes to that job, Mitra, I would have been in corporate America. Really? What if you were miserable on that job and quit? So I want people who have regret to understand, are you writing the outcome? If you're writing the outcome, you're not being fair to you because you're writing an outcome that possibly, most probably would not have. have been the outcome.
Speaker #1
Mic drop. That's so good. And it's so true. It's so true. I never thought of it that way. When we regret, we write the outcome as being the best possible outcome, but it's most likely not true.
Speaker #0
Not true.
Speaker #1
It's like, I'm thinking,
Speaker #0
oh, tomorrow, if it's going to be a sunny day, then that means I'm going to have a lot of energy and I'm going to have whatever. That's not true. I don't know how I'm going to sleep that night. I don't know when I wake up what's going to go on. So why am I writing an outcome that is never going to, in a way, materialize what I think it is? And that's the same with goals. And I'm getting back to that.
Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. Because I wanted to ask you about this. So you read my mind. Thank you.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So this is about goals. And I, you know, something I've been really much present with in the last year. I've always been very goal oriented.
Speaker #1
Same.
Speaker #0
Yes. Ambitious and very. mission-oriented. But now I've recognized that those goals stop me from living in today. Because goals are for tomorrowland, way in the future. Nothing wrong with having goals, but something really wrong with making them your sole focus, because you're chasing life, and it takes away from the now, which means what? from the gratitude and joy of this moment. I have a person who's telling me for the past 10 years that she wants to move to, I'm giving the name, like let's say Italy.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
So she's everyday miserable living in the United States because she thinks once she gets to Italy, her whole life will change. Her goal is Italy that hasn't been able to materialize. She's been miserable for 10 years, literally. So I asked her, what if Italy never happens? And I said, what if you go to Italy and you don't like Italy? She goes, that destination is really important. I said, no, my friend, what's important is the journey. Because that destination, I will guarantee you, will change. I will guarantee you change. Do you think when I was... 18, I thought of the destinations my life would take. None of them were what I thought at 18. Not better or worse, just different. So destinations are exhausting. It's in the flight that the magic happens.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And you know, you can't see us, but Mitra's beautiful statement there just brought tears to my eyes because I think I recognize that my whole life. I've been chasing goals and putting my worth in goals. And then when I don't achieve them, I don't feel like I'm worth anything. And then I lost all this time. in the present moment, because I was so focused on what the outcome might be.
Speaker #0
Yeah. Now I want to tell you this. I don't know if I ever sent you this email, this word that I love. It's called resalat. Resalat means a mission that is on the soul before it comes into even life. Like people like me who believe in reincarnation or believe in God, believe that we are here each for a reason. You, my friend, have a resalat. You have a mission in this life. And I think it's to be of service. But how you do that service, whether it's through song, through podcast, through music, through whatever comes later, unfolds, is part of the Rasala. So people who are mission-oriented, which I have been myself, we confuse the mission with the goal, I think. Mission already is with us, and we will carry it always, whether we have a goal or not. You will always... See people who are going through a hard plight. You will never be that person who walks and sees a homeless person or a dog on the street or a woman crying and you're going to turn your face. But that's not a goal. That's your mission. It's always with you. Yeah. So I thought always that my mission has to have goals. Like I have to have a goal of doing this and this and that's my mission. But no, my mission is everyday life.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I think that's what we have to recognize. A song is produced and you have a goal producing a song, but you are the song. So you are unfolding each minute, but the song is one time everyone listens to it. Yes. And that's amazing and beautiful, but you are the song. You are the podcast and it's how you live it, how you leave your footprints on the sand that matters, not the goals.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And something I've been thinking a lot about lately is like, can I just be happy doing it? Because if I'm not happy doing it, then there's no point in searching for an outcome in it. Like I have to enjoy it or else it's not worth it to me.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You know, again, search. There is no search but the now. And the search is the now. It's such a deep but simple statement. We spend most of our life thinking that somewhere else, something else. The grass is greener. The goal will make us happier. Once I get married, I'll be so happy. Once I have my first kid, I'll be so happy. Once I go on Deepak Chopra's show, I'll be so happy. Really? Does any of those change the definition of who I am? Does it change the definition of who we are? Am I not Mitra, whether I write five books or sing songs? I'm still Mitra. The song is me. the book is me and i need to be present for that song to be heard by myself so the goal is the now but there's nothing wrong in saying i would love to do these things and i hope i can for i think those would be amazing to do but to think that those are going to make me all of a sudden three hundred sixty degrees different or change
Speaker #1
doesn't happen. So how do you keep the goal and not get attached to it? Because part of me, like spiritually, I a hundred percent agree with what you're saying in the body human. In my experience, I'm like 60% on board, 40% terrified of what you're saying. Cause there's a part of me that still thinks I can control things. And part of me feels like, okay, if I have the goal, but then I'm like, okay, well, but if it doesn't happen, that's also great. because I'm still me. then I'm not actually like ambitious and going toward the goal. And there is a part of me that feels like I will never be happy if I don't hit these certain milestones.
Speaker #0
I know because I think I know who you are. And I know that you always want to do better and better and better.
Speaker #1
Busted.
Speaker #0
But what I want to say to you is you're already good. So doing better, you're already there. So those things are just desserts. The main ingredient is what's important. And that's for the soul to be awakened and to say, I am mindful of life. I am mindful of people, right? I'm mindful of pain. I'm mindful of joy. Ambition, because I was always so greatly ambitious, I've realized is a word that's kind of weird. Because it's about chasing something. It's about thinking that when I get there, that level. that level puts me at a different hierarchy, or that goal puts me at a different place. I don't think that's true, my love. I always say this. I say the best poets, the best singers, the best spiritual teachers are not known to more than 10, 15 people, because they've recognized that their breath, their demeanor, how they leave their footprints in the sand, that's That's what counts, not these levels we put, you know? So I think it's hard when you're young because you feel, no, each threshold, Mitra, no, I hear you. But no, you see, when I do this, then it's going to put me more and I can do more. And when I'm there, I can do more. You could do more without all those levels just by being of service to the world. It doesn't mean... when you get to those levels, you will be of more service. I'll tell you something, people who have 10 million Instagram followers are not necessarily of more service to the world than that person who's right now in Afghanistan, who's built a school.
Speaker #1
Certainly not.
Speaker #0
So again, these levels are very much something society has taught us in modern day society that we have to hit these, you know, markers. We have to, we have to get here and there. What I'm saying, the only marker that matters is those footprints in the sand, is how you wish to walk. You were telling me about your beautiful friend, Matt, who's in heaven watching us. And you were saying in his 26 years what he did. And to me, that's the perfect example of a person who was not a celebrity, but was in his young life. bringing love and joy to so many. And now that you told me about him, now I will tell five more people to them. That resonance is all that stays, not the marker points. The marker points actually set me up for a failure because those markers will never be enough. I'll be 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 60. And I'll think then at 70, 80, I never hit my markers. They'll make me feel like crap. And who set those markers anyway? Yeah, who set those markers? Modern day pop culture society, which deals with shallowness. But now they're becoming more alive. And hopefully we're understanding differently.
Speaker #1
But do you also feel like, I feel like I'm seeing a thing where people are becoming more alive and aware and waking up. And there's an equal uprising of people who are like. less that. Like with TikTok and listen, I've talked in my last podcast about how I'm not hating on TikTok. I think it's a great tool. If you can't beat them, join them. Like I will get on there and talk about the things I want to talk about. But the fact is there's a lot of people on there that are extremely famous for doing very simple dance moves and lip syncing. So it's like, there's this uprising of that kind of thing. Like people who have like 100 million followers. And that's the thing that's hard for me to wrap my brain around. And I'm not being bitter when I ask this. I'm just like, why do those people or why are those people gaining recognition when there's people who are like the teachers of the 15 who are doing it more in silence or in the shadows? Like, why does that happen?
Speaker #0
It's a very good question. And someone asked me a different question last night. It was not about TikTok or social media, but it was the exact same question. It's interesting when a famous person boils an egg, it will get 50 million hits. It's ridiculous. It's when a famous person is going to an ice cream stand, everyone's looking, oh, what ice cream are they eating? That's part of a culture that has developed in the past 20, 30 years of making these, quote, celebrity famous people our gods. And we have seen, haven't we, that a lot of them actually are not gods.
Speaker #1
Not even close.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So that is what we humans have done. Before an actor or actress or a singer or a singer was a singer or actress and actress. And we looked at their work and we either said we love it or we don't like their art or we like their song. But now it's like if they're just going and even saying a cuss word. gets 200 million hits. And that's what... I'm hoping people will question themselves and their intellect and their choices that they're making. Do we want to fuel goodness in this world? Do we want to fuel true joy, true pain, true art? Or are we just looking for people that will take our minds away because we don't want to think? Let me tell you, there's a lot of famous people I love. They do great work. They use their platforms for great work. That, to me, is a human being that leaves good footprints in the sand. But it's what pop culture has allowed and what pop culture has to undo. Because every time these people then do a little bit wrong, then they fall from grace huge. And we then shun them. And we just like... go crazy and cuss them out and just slaughter them. None of it's productive. None of it's humane, really. None of them is. They're not gods and they're not satans.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
They're people like us. But I think, and this is what I say, I have on my social media, like five, six different, I know people saying five or six, but that's true that I may go to, you know, I don't go on it every day that inspire me or make me laugh or make me think or are entertainment, but true entertainment, true joy, true art, inspirational. But all the rest is noise to me. Why would I need to fill my mind with what this person is doing to cook an egg? When I can listen to a song that's going to make my heart dance, or read four lines that's going to make me feel wonderful. So it's, you know, it's what pop culture has allowed, glorifying celebrity, glorifying the smallest everyday mundane acts and then trashing them. Trashing them, which then creates them to have breakdowns and then they can never find a life. So I hope people will listen and I hope they will start making the change, you know. That's the one part of social media that's so hard to kind of stomach.
Speaker #1
Yeah, totally. And I think that that's a big part of why people get anxiety when they go on there. It's like you can feel the toxicity from that part.
Speaker #0
It is toxicity. It's like if my validation is coming from like we get back to the beginning of our conversation. If I worked on this post and I just got three likes and it was such an amazing post. And then someone comes with this, like... Put someone who's mooning other people and gets 50 million likes. That has to make me question where our minds are. It has to make me. And I question it. And I know, I know when that truth and that light is being distorted. And to me, I can recognize that. And I'm happy I can. And I'm happy I don't give in to it. Because I think it's very important. Very important. Let's not glorify things. Let's give credit to goodness.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Let's give credit to kindness, love, true art. You know, I think if we do, we would not have had the problems in our world that we have today. Yeah. You know, someone told me the other day, it really upset me. I said, I'm doing this for this young family, this young boy I'm mentoring in Afghanistan, and this and this. And she said, well, thank God that's not our problem. And I said, but no, it is my problem. Because I can feel energies. And I know you can too, Lauren. I can feel when somewhere or someone is in pain. And I don't want to be turning my back on them. See, those things. need to be talked about.
Speaker #1
Well, the lie that we're separate from each other's pain is what causes most of the pain in the world.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You said that it's brilliant what you said. And it goes back to these social media things too. Social media is a platform that should be used as a privilege to say or do something that will create a positive impact, whether it's even a pain, it's a positive impact, a news, it creates awareness. It is not there to glorify and then knock down things. I don't think it is.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
I don't think it should be. If it is. then we have lost what its essence should be for us.
Speaker #1
I agree. What can we do as individuals to help push pop culture back in a more humane direction? Is there anything we can do?
Speaker #0
I think a lot more people are emerging. People like yourself who are voicing it. I think that's what's going to make the difference. When someone listens to this, and whether it's two people or four people or 20 people, who will then also think about it the next time they go on social media. It takes time. It took us time to get here, and it will take us time to undo it. But we can if we choose to, if we choose to.
Speaker #1
I hope we all make the choice.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Mitra, I love you.
Speaker #0
I love you so much. I love you for, as a very young person, for having so much wisdom. and sharing this wisdom on so many different platforms through your music, through your words, through your videos with people and podcasts, I think your footprints are beautifully etched. I really do. And I think it's a gift when someone young, especially comes to these points or starts questioning these things. I think it's wonderful. And I think the people who are listening are going to walk away from this with some resonance. It's going to stay with them.
Speaker #1
I think so too. Well, I know that. I know so because every time anyone walks away from you or a workshop you've done, which you do so many amazing workshops, and we definitely need to plug those at the end, but there's always a change. I've never had a conversation with you and not been changed after. And you are such a brilliant teacher, mentor, friend. You're my LA mother.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love you.
Speaker #1
And I just, I'm so grateful you exist. So thank you for your footprints and for leading the way.
Speaker #0
Thank you so much. And let's have a beautiful day.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
Okay. Love you. Love you.
Speaker #1
Thank you for listening. And thanks to my guest, Mitra Rabar. For more info on Mitra, you can follow her at voiceofmitra on Instagram. You can also find her music, meditations, and teaching on her YouTube channel, Mitra Ma. That's M-I-T-R-A-M-A 11. Mitra Ma 11. Thanks so much to Unleash associate producer Emily Shulmanovich. You can follow her at WeCan'tFindEmily. Thank you to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow Unleash on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag Mitra at Voice of Mitra so she can share it too. My wish for you this week is that you welcome whatever pain you're going through as part of your journey. Feel it. Share it. Let it be. And know that in the end, it will alchemize into strength. I love you and I believe in you. I'll talk with you next week.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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Description

From this conversation you’ll learn:

Why falling down and staying down is progress
Why pain is such a vital part of life
How to love and accept the times you don’t know what to do
Why not knowing means you’re not ready to know
How and why to live life without expectations
Why vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength
The process of building empathy
How to stop living with regret
The strength in acknowledging pain while your experiencing it
Living in your past vs. living in your present
The problem with making goals your sole focus
Your mission vs your goal
How social media can and should be used
And so much more!

Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative

Follow me: @LaurenLoGrasso

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, Creative. It's Lauren here, and I wanted to ask you a quick favor. If you like the show and it has helped you, please remember to rate, review, and follow it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Also consider sharing the show on your Instagram stories or Twitter. Tag the guest at Unleash Your Inner Creative and at Lauren LaGrasso, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And now let's get to the creative chat. Hello and welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, actor, and creative coach. And this show is meant to give you tools to take fear out of the driver's seat and love yourself enough to pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. On the show, we explore creativity, the creative process, process and journey, mental health, spirituality, and self-development. Today you'll hear about embracing the times when you don't know the answers or when you have to endure pain on your creative journey. How open and vulnerable are you about your pain? We all go through it and we assume that when we talk about our pain or feeling loss or being vulnerable, but what I've come to realize recently is that we usually talk about the stuff that's painful in the past tense once we've overcome it. And maybe that's because we want to show people that we're strong enough to get out of that place in our lives. But I think it's causing a lot of us to miss out on the point of connection and the honesty of what it's really like to be a human being. And that kind of dialogue is what we all need as humans and creatives. So today's guest is someone you might recognize from a previous episode back in 2019. She's a spiritual teacher, healer, and a dear friend who sits down with me again. This time to talk about how life has changed for all of us through a pandemic that doesn't seem to be over just yet. Mitra Rabar is an Iranian-born multi-hyphenate who immigrated to the United States when she was just a teenager. Since then, she's embraced herself as a creative in all forms. She's an author, singer, and a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher to stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Megan Fox, Sheryl Crow, and people like you and me. I wanted to have Mitra back on the show because she's one of my favorite humans. And she's helped me in some of my darkest times. And right now is a dark or at least an uncertain time for so many of us. So whether we like it or not, the pandemic has changed us. Maybe you're better for it or maybe you're still in the thick of it and don't even know how to begin to recover. The great news is Meacher will remind you that your pain is an important part of your journey. If you feel in any way alone in your pain, this episode is for you. Now here she is, Mitra Rabar. So Mitra, welcome back to Unleash Your Inner Creative. You are a repeat offender, my favorite kind.
Speaker #1
I love that kind of offending. Yes,
Speaker #0
only that kind. That's the only kind we accept. You're one of my favorite people. You've changed the course of my life so many times, but you came... into my life and really became a spiritual teacher and mentor and friend and family to me back in 2016. And we always have the best talks. And we were just catching up because we haven't seen each other since the pandy. I saw you right before the pandemic.
Speaker #1
Yes, thank God.
Speaker #0
Thank God. I think it was March 2nd or 3rd. And everything shut down on the 13th.
Speaker #1
Yes. I remember we were sitting and we're talking and talking. I can't believe it. I've missed you so much. I'm so happy were here today. You're, you are a magical being and I love spending time with you. It's always like effortless.
Speaker #0
Yeah. It feels the same for me. And yeah, I just remember you were like, I'm trying to get ginger because that's the thing that really helps against COVID in Iran at that time, because COVID was really bad in Iran and you're trying to help back there. And then once COVID hit here, I'm like, I have to get ginger. So. But you and I, before we got on, we're just talking about surrender. And you were talking about how you feel like you're finally in this place of surrender in your life. And how you don't know if you could have gotten here before the things you've gone through. And you couldn't have done it probably in your 30s or 40s. But can you talk a little bit about being in this place of surrender? And is it possible for us to get there when we're younger?
Speaker #1
First of all, I'm sure for certain people it's possible, you know. I was looking at videos of, you know, these Sadhguru and Osho, you know, and they seem to have maybe gotten that earlier in their life than I did. But Is it possible? 100%. But I think it's a lot of things. I think it's like we have to cook. You know, I have to cook. I was telling you, I was in my 30s, 20s, 30s and 40s. I was chasing so many dreams. And I was dealing with so many of my own inner fears and anxieties. As I was teaching, I was learning, I was teaching and I was a student constantly. But I think it comes to a point of really loving the imperfections or accepting them. Like everything is imperfect and never will it be perfect. And like I was telling you before we started recording, I started not expecting anything in the day, but just the day. So what happened is as I released this expectation, I was constantly, constantly surprised, amazed. and caressed and connected more to what I call the source in the universe. It's like, for example, when you expect so much out of anything or any person, they're human, you know, so when they don't give you that expectation, you get so disappointed, so hurt. But if you wake up, kind of don't have an expectation, you put something out. Let's say the most simple thing. You put a post out. You hope for, let's say, 200 likes. You get two likes. That's great. Yeah. That's great because there are two people that you were able to reach out to, you know. And so I think those are the things that are going on now more in like our culture, our world, is we have so much expectation from social media, from feeling we want to be loved, we want to be accepted, where the truth is that those expectations are tiring. They exhaust us. And when we don't expect, then imagine how pleased we are when we go on that Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and we see, oh my God, 10 people listened to my song. 10 people who didn't know it five minutes ago. Yeah. And that's pretty amazing that I could reach 10 people who I don't even know. You know, so I think when you are in that place, you surrender to something that's much greater than you. And it's timeless. Like, you know, that tree, I've been talking about entities a lot, that tree or ocean or sky or flower or pebble. It exists, right? It has life. So does it have expectation, that tree? Really?
Speaker #2
When you put it that way.
Speaker #1
No, no, when we put it, but, you know, does it? Or does that dog on the street have an expectation? It has a feeling. But that's not the expectation. You know, feeling is different than expectation. I feel pain. I feel anguish. I feel hurt. But expectation to me was tiring. And I realized I've been living so much in expectation of what the universe will give me. Not only people. Oh, I'm doing this. So the universe is going to see that and gift me this and this. Well, that's not necessarily always true, right? We can be amazing people. We can do great stuff. But it doesn't mean we're going to always get up. audience clapping for us. Yeah. And that's the hard part. That's the hard part when you're young, because you think I'm doing all this work and I want it. I want, you know, to get the accomplishment, the recognition. So I think it came to a point where I saw so much pain and suffering in our world. And I realized that, yeah, I see the pain and suffering, but every day. I am waking up to something else. And that's just me being present with all that we have, which is unbelievable. I mean, the fact I'm sitting here with you in this room that has a fan, that we have water. I know those are so basic, but they're not basic because a lot of people don't have them. Right. And that the sky is there and you and I are here. I think all those things, somehow something came in me that I saw it. And I think what really helped me was I saw a video Osho did. And Osho's passed away. And he was controversial and all that. But this video, he said how much there is no tomorrow. There is no goal. The goal is now this moment. That once this moment is passed, it's passed, right? So the goal should not be a goal, because that goal is in Tomorrowland. You know, I have a goal. Let's say I want to do this. And then I put all my energies and mind into doing that. So it takes away from my now, right? Takes away from me being present with you right now. Because I keep thinking, oh, about my goal. And once I get to that destination, I'm going to be so happy.
Speaker #0
No, you won't.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
And I think most of us know that consciously, but then we're still here in the material world. and we're taking in that messaging from the material world that... Our value is in what we do and how much we make, not in who we are. So for someone who's really wrapped up in that, I mean, I still struggle with that all the time. I know what you're saying is true. Mentally, I know that's true. I haven't ever been able to live that every day.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
How do you get there?
Speaker #1
You get there when you're aware. You're very aware. You're very mindful. You understand who you are. You understand when there are waves and you go through the waves. You don't stop the waves. I think if you stop the waves, some people never get there. Like I was telling you before we began recording, some people are 80 and 90 and they never get to that place of peace.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Because they don't want to go through the waves. They don't want to do the work to get there. How I got here was also through decades of working on myself, as you know. I mean, I've had the challenges in my childhood, in my adolescent years. I've had the challenges of... being away from my family, of sometimes having no money, of having health challenges, different challenges that life throws you. And every challenge, for some reason, I went through it. I didn't avoid it. I let myself fall down. I was telling someone that the other day. I was saying, falling down is such a great thing. Staying down is such a great thing.
Speaker #0
Well, can you explain that?
Speaker #1
Yeah, because we think always... we have to walk towards something, right? Like I have to walk toward a goal. I have to walk toward my healing. But when you fall down through those broken pieces that we feel like breaking inside, that's what the light enters. When we're vulnerable, that's our raw, pure form. And when we stay down, it's not that we're not progressing. That's completely wrong. When you fall and you stay down, you are progressing. For your soul is recognizing so many things that you would not if you're just walking towards something. So then finally, when you get up, those steps are going to be different. So when someone says to me the other day, they said, I've fallen down and this and this. I said, I'm so excited for you. She said, why? I'm in pain. I said, yes, but I know. what this pain will lead you to. And you can't get there unless you little bit see the blood come through you. You have to bleed to understand what it means then to not bleed when you get up anymore. That blood that leaves you is your release of things that no longer serve you, which you would not have done unless you fell down. And that's what the pandemic did for a lot of people.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
They didn't know what to do with it. They fell down. And when they fell down, their own magic unfolded of not knowing. I said, I love that you don't know. I love when people say, I don't know. I wish, I wish, you know, I wish I had someone, I have told you this before when I was in my twenties or thirties who would tell me this stuff.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But I didn't have it. I really wish I did because half of my life I didn't know. Most of my life I didn't know. I still don't know.
Speaker #0
And I think that we beat ourselves up for not knowing rather than just being in the not knowing. Because we feel like a failure for the fact that we don't know. Like I'm in a state of not knowing something right now. Like I know, but I don't know the right timing. And so I keep beating myself up because I haven't made this choice yet. But I've never been able to do anything in my life until I've known. And once I know, I don't hesitate. I make the move right away. when I don't feel 100% sure of something, I cannot move.
Speaker #1
So I love what you said. You said, I don't know, but then when I know something, I know it. And see, that's the whole thing. I love not knowing because when you don't know, you cannot find the answer.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Because something somewhere has not aligned within you or externally if it's external.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But when the alignment happens, then that means you're ready to know and then you're aligned. you not knowing is like being in a haze, right? And one thing amazing about the fog. is what you then see in the fog, what it unfolds. Imagine you're in a fog. I remember I was lost. One time I was driving and it was foggy and I was on the freeway and I didn't know at all where the hell I am. And I exited, which I don't know was smart or not, where then I further got lost and it was all foggy. And I remember I stopped my car and I got out and I saw that there was this beautiful like sound of a brook or river or something. I said, where is this? And I realized there was like a treasure, like a gem of a nature spot that I never would have known unless that fog had led me to that exit. So what I'm saying, the same thing happens with the fog in our mind, right? Where that fog will lead you. And then the answer that comes is such a different place than when you originally asked that question. before you enter the fog. So I think it's great when you're in a fog, because it means your soul wants to awaken to something that you are on your way to it, but you're not fully aligned to it.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love that Mitra. And I really needed to hear that. Because if we don't do something the right way, like I was even thinking when you're talking about people fall down, they instantly want to get up. Well, if you fall down, you break your leg and you get up right away. you're walking on a broken leg.
Speaker #1
Exactly.
Speaker #0
And I think the pandemic really changed me as I know did most people. And I'm still kind of in, I'm in that pain still. I'm not out of it yet.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I was trying to snap back, but I can't do it. Like something changed in me. And I'm still an optimist. I'm always going to be enthusiastic and excited about life and love people. But I've realize that for me, optimism isn't just like... thinking everything's great all the time. It's believing that the best possible thing can and will happen, but acknowledging the pain along the way.
Speaker #1
I love that you said that. I'm so happy. Thank you for saying that because we had a small discussion about this before we began. Pain is something that we must feel. And if we don't feel it, it means we are not seeing who we are and what life is. Life has pain. We have pain. It's part of our tapestry, just like being vulnerable is, just like being strong is, just like being childlike is. We all have the sage and the child within us, right? We both have the wisdom and the childlike wonder within us. I love that you said that because I think pain should be talked about. Yes. I think this thing of society of always wanting to feel great. This is... is not really realistic, nor is it acknowledging who we are.
Speaker #0
But the other thing I've really noticed from going through this is people are willing to talk about pain, but only when they've come out on the other side.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
There's very little discussion of when you're still in the thick of things.
Speaker #1
I think it's because there's a vulnerability that pain brings, and people don't want others to see them vulnerable because they think it's a sign of weakness. where vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength. When you let someone see your tears, believe it or not, you're giving them a confirmation that it's okay if you cry too. And that's one thing I talked about you, you know, I love about you, Lauren. You use your platform to show vulnerability also, to show the sides of us that goes through life that we bleed through. Why I think pain is so important is because when there's pain, That's when we connect more to the light. Most of us don't connect to the light when we're feeling great. I mean, that requires a person who's really a devotee or a dedicated person and understands really what light means. But light has within it the little streams of darkness. That's why it's the light. because Even if you look, we've talked about this before, if you look out through history, whether it's Jesus, Moses, Ali, anyone, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the pain led them to the light. Our pain leads us to the light of understanding, being compassionate, being kind, understanding other people's pain. How can we understand other people's pain if we... shy away from pain if we don't acknowledge it. I don't think we can. I always say, God, make me always see pain. Always feel it. Always understand it. For that makes me understand you better. Yeah. And understand each other better. And I love when people like yourself use your platform, whether it's of singing, of talking, of spoken word, of dancing, that says, you know, I'm feeling really crappy today. I don't feel good or I'm really sad or I'm really pained about something. I don't want to talk about it. or I want to dance about it or I want to speak about it. If we do that more, you know how much less there will be a suicide rate? You know how much less there will be a depression rate? You know how much less people will not be scared to show themselves as who they really are and not feel constantly judged? Because, of course, if you're feeling judged, if you tell someone, I feel horrible, then you feel they don't want to hear it. Well, you're not going to say it again to them, right?
Speaker #0
Yeah. Because they're not safe.
Speaker #1
No, they're not safe. So I'm so happy that, you know, there are people like you who say, I'm going through this now, not after I've gone through it. I'm going to speak about it right now where I'm going through it. And then other people will say, oh, I'm going through it too. Oh, I'm going through it too. And before you know, everyone is somehow saying someone's going through it. Isn't that beautiful?
Speaker #0
It's very beautiful. And it's so true. And it's so, what struck me when you're talking is. You said, think of how much less suicide there'd be, how much less depression. The minute you acknowledge your pain, it starts to dissipate. Exactly. It's when you're avoiding it that it's its strongest.
Speaker #1
Yes. And you know, I just celebrated a birthday and a new decade of life. And I was thinking, I was writing to a friend. I said, as I reviewed my life, you know, you review your life at different birthdays,
Speaker #0
right?
Speaker #1
I was thinking of all the pain, the challenges, the hardships, all the triumphs, the joy. What stayed was not the pain. It was the love that comes also through the pain. All that I remembered was the love. And someone said, well, you had gone through this, this breakup. I said, yeah, but what stayed was the love. What I recall about that X now is the love. So pain is very interesting. Pain to me. is like the worm that becomes the butterfly pain is what becomes the love pain is what becomes the flight pain is what becomes the freedom for pain allows us our most vulnerability to happen which is when the caterpillar wants to become the butterfly it doesn't know who the butterfly is but it has no choice but to become it pain will only transform us to fly. It will not make us stay down. And I think that's what we need to understand. And what you said is so true. When I'm talking to you about my pain, I'm giving it to the wind to carry away. I'm giving my story to be carried wherever it needs to be carried within me, within you, to the air. And I think that's so important. I've always talked about my anxieties and that I developed when I was young, a phobia disorder. Because I was going through so much change.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And I worked on it, worked on it. And I would diminish one phobia and another one would phobia. But now I understand it. If I hadn't done that work, how could I have discovered who I was?
Speaker #0
Yeah. And it's interesting as you learn more, like something I've learned about anxiety for me is I only feel it when I don't feel safe. And I don't mean like safe in a fake way. Like, I mean, when I don't feel emotionally safe with another person or I'm not sure if someone has best interests for me, that's when the anxiety comes up. So it's like, for me, I've learned it's a teacher because it tells me when I'm not living in alignment with myself and trusting my intuition.
Speaker #1
That's really true. I just put something out. It's on my Instagram and on YouTube. I said, fear is our friend. Anxiety is our friend. There's two types of anxiety, but The type of anxiety most of us experience is because something doesn't make us feel safe or within us we're not safe about what that is. Like, let's say someone asked me to be on Broadway.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Yes, yes. We put that out there. And then let's say that happens and I get anxious. So the reason I'm getting anxious, that anxiety is a really good thing. Because it means I'm excited, but maybe a little bit not confident in what I can do, right? So it means I'm not feeling safe in what the universe is giving to me. So, you know, and sometimes anxiety gets interwoven with excitement.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And we have to remember that always anxiety is not a bad thing. And another type of anxiety, like, you know, fear of flying, fear of intimacy is because it's guiding you back to you. What do I feel unsafe about? What is it that I need? And sometimes it's warning you of something that you shouldn't do also. Like, you know, lots of people said, you know, I was anxious before this procedure. And I went for a second opinion and I realized this.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And that's an anxiety that's guiding you. So anxieties are such different forms, you know, but they can definitely guide us back to us. I mean, not to feel anxiety at all. It's kind of not normal.
Speaker #0
Well, I talked to this woman once, actually it was someone I had on my show. And I was like, hey, so do you feel anxiety at all? And she's like, no. I'm like, what? Like you don't feel she's like, yeah, my sister has it. I just I really don't have it. I'm fine. And I'm like, how? What did you do? Like, how do you live like this? And it was like, I really believe her. I mean, she just seemed chill.
Speaker #1
And you know what? There are people who have zero anxiety. But if you have anxiety, it's not like a bad thing.
Speaker #0
No,
Speaker #1
it's bad when it paralyzes you. And I've had that when I felt paralyzed. And it makes you so indecisive. And that's when you know you have to look at it really deeper and maybe seek help for it. You know, go to someone. But I'm talking about the low-key anxiety where we just feel. And I think that sometimes, you know, something also we process as we go through life. It's like, imagine, I always say a little kitten. When it wants to jump for the first time, it's anxious. It goes back and forth and it's like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do it? It's normal. That's normal to feel. Like right now, if you say to me, Mitra, I got commissioned to do this great film. I'm putting all this energy. Yes, I love this. So you're going to be you're going to be a little bit anxious. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I mean, you care. You care. You're excited. But it's different if that anxiety then paralyzes you that you say, Mitra, I'm not going to even. No, I can't do it. I can't. Then that means something within you doesn't believe or love yourself. So that. Kind of fear can be a lack of self-love and self-belief and self-esteem. But again, I want to say this. I want to say because I know a lot of people who are going to listen to this podcast are going to be people who are younger people or early midlife. And I want to say this. Don't be hard on yourself. Please don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect yourself to go through these. big mountains and hills and valleys, and never fall down, never be anxious, never get depressed, never get disappointed. That's a part of your growing pain. And until we're breathing, I always say this, we are growing. Growth happens much more, of course, when we're young, because we're so much in life. We're so much interacting with life. And as we're much older, We don't interact with life. We interact more with... what our life has been.
Speaker #0
Oh, what does that mean?
Speaker #1
That means like someone who's 90, most of people who are 90 or in their 80s interact with their past.
Speaker #0
Wow.
Speaker #1
But there are those who interact with the present. So they're constantly growing, constantly loving. I remember I have a neighbor who's 102. And I remember when she was turning 99, I went to visit her and I said, how are you doing today? She goes, I was just thinking. I got out and I was able to walk to my yard and I discovered this beautiful bird I'd never seen. And I thought, wow, here I am at 99 seeing something I never did. And I love that she acknowledged and said that to me. For that kind of confirmed my belief that until we are living, we are breathing, we are seeing, we are learning, we're loving. But lots of people shut life out. And some people do it early in life, not 80 or 90. Some people just shut life out. So they constantly live in their past. And that's sometimes really sad to see like a young person do that because they're shutting their own light out.
Speaker #0
So if someone is, I have a couple people close to me that live in a lot of regret. They live in a lot of regret to the point where it's like stopping them from moving forward. If that's happening for someone, how would you advise them to start to inch toward the present and change what they can now?
Speaker #1
You know, regret. is a part of the human story. But when it becomes like an OCD, a constant regret that doesn't leave you, then it's because I believe.
Speaker #0
you don't love yourself. I think, again, it comes from lack of self-love. Because the truth is this, when a moment has passed or an experience has passed, it is no longer in the present, right? So if I'm living constantly in regret, I am not, in a way, seeing the now, the blessings of now. Regret is hard for people who have strong regret are really hard on themselves. They think if they had said yes to something, if they had done it a different route, it would have had a different outcome. That's not necessarily true.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
You know, I think, oh, if I had said at 19, I had said yes to New York and my mom, you know, stopped me and didn't want me to go there, I would have been on Broadway. That's not necessarily true. I may have gone there and had my biggest heartache and left there even more devastated at 20. So I want people who are listening to this, who have regret, understand this. When we regret something, we rewrite the scenario in our minds and the best outcome. If I had done this, then I would have that. Really? Is that true? No. If I had stayed with that boyfriend, I would have had two kids now and been happy. Really? Do you really know that? If I had said yes to that job, Mitra, I would have been in corporate America. Really? What if you were miserable on that job and quit? So I want people who have regret to understand, are you writing the outcome? If you're writing the outcome, you're not being fair to you because you're writing an outcome that possibly, most probably would not have. have been the outcome.
Speaker #1
Mic drop. That's so good. And it's so true. It's so true. I never thought of it that way. When we regret, we write the outcome as being the best possible outcome, but it's most likely not true.
Speaker #0
Not true.
Speaker #1
It's like, I'm thinking,
Speaker #0
oh, tomorrow, if it's going to be a sunny day, then that means I'm going to have a lot of energy and I'm going to have whatever. That's not true. I don't know how I'm going to sleep that night. I don't know when I wake up what's going to go on. So why am I writing an outcome that is never going to, in a way, materialize what I think it is? And that's the same with goals. And I'm getting back to that.
Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. Because I wanted to ask you about this. So you read my mind. Thank you.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So this is about goals. And I, you know, something I've been really much present with in the last year. I've always been very goal oriented.
Speaker #1
Same.
Speaker #0
Yes. Ambitious and very. mission-oriented. But now I've recognized that those goals stop me from living in today. Because goals are for tomorrowland, way in the future. Nothing wrong with having goals, but something really wrong with making them your sole focus, because you're chasing life, and it takes away from the now, which means what? from the gratitude and joy of this moment. I have a person who's telling me for the past 10 years that she wants to move to, I'm giving the name, like let's say Italy.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
So she's everyday miserable living in the United States because she thinks once she gets to Italy, her whole life will change. Her goal is Italy that hasn't been able to materialize. She's been miserable for 10 years, literally. So I asked her, what if Italy never happens? And I said, what if you go to Italy and you don't like Italy? She goes, that destination is really important. I said, no, my friend, what's important is the journey. Because that destination, I will guarantee you, will change. I will guarantee you change. Do you think when I was... 18, I thought of the destinations my life would take. None of them were what I thought at 18. Not better or worse, just different. So destinations are exhausting. It's in the flight that the magic happens.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And you know, you can't see us, but Mitra's beautiful statement there just brought tears to my eyes because I think I recognize that my whole life. I've been chasing goals and putting my worth in goals. And then when I don't achieve them, I don't feel like I'm worth anything. And then I lost all this time. in the present moment, because I was so focused on what the outcome might be.
Speaker #0
Yeah. Now I want to tell you this. I don't know if I ever sent you this email, this word that I love. It's called resalat. Resalat means a mission that is on the soul before it comes into even life. Like people like me who believe in reincarnation or believe in God, believe that we are here each for a reason. You, my friend, have a resalat. You have a mission in this life. And I think it's to be of service. But how you do that service, whether it's through song, through podcast, through music, through whatever comes later, unfolds, is part of the Rasala. So people who are mission-oriented, which I have been myself, we confuse the mission with the goal, I think. Mission already is with us, and we will carry it always, whether we have a goal or not. You will always... See people who are going through a hard plight. You will never be that person who walks and sees a homeless person or a dog on the street or a woman crying and you're going to turn your face. But that's not a goal. That's your mission. It's always with you. Yeah. So I thought always that my mission has to have goals. Like I have to have a goal of doing this and this and that's my mission. But no, my mission is everyday life.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I think that's what we have to recognize. A song is produced and you have a goal producing a song, but you are the song. So you are unfolding each minute, but the song is one time everyone listens to it. Yes. And that's amazing and beautiful, but you are the song. You are the podcast and it's how you live it, how you leave your footprints on the sand that matters, not the goals.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And something I've been thinking a lot about lately is like, can I just be happy doing it? Because if I'm not happy doing it, then there's no point in searching for an outcome in it. Like I have to enjoy it or else it's not worth it to me.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You know, again, search. There is no search but the now. And the search is the now. It's such a deep but simple statement. We spend most of our life thinking that somewhere else, something else. The grass is greener. The goal will make us happier. Once I get married, I'll be so happy. Once I have my first kid, I'll be so happy. Once I go on Deepak Chopra's show, I'll be so happy. Really? Does any of those change the definition of who I am? Does it change the definition of who we are? Am I not Mitra, whether I write five books or sing songs? I'm still Mitra. The song is me. the book is me and i need to be present for that song to be heard by myself so the goal is the now but there's nothing wrong in saying i would love to do these things and i hope i can for i think those would be amazing to do but to think that those are going to make me all of a sudden three hundred sixty degrees different or change
Speaker #1
doesn't happen. So how do you keep the goal and not get attached to it? Because part of me, like spiritually, I a hundred percent agree with what you're saying in the body human. In my experience, I'm like 60% on board, 40% terrified of what you're saying. Cause there's a part of me that still thinks I can control things. And part of me feels like, okay, if I have the goal, but then I'm like, okay, well, but if it doesn't happen, that's also great. because I'm still me. then I'm not actually like ambitious and going toward the goal. And there is a part of me that feels like I will never be happy if I don't hit these certain milestones.
Speaker #0
I know because I think I know who you are. And I know that you always want to do better and better and better.
Speaker #1
Busted.
Speaker #0
But what I want to say to you is you're already good. So doing better, you're already there. So those things are just desserts. The main ingredient is what's important. And that's for the soul to be awakened and to say, I am mindful of life. I am mindful of people, right? I'm mindful of pain. I'm mindful of joy. Ambition, because I was always so greatly ambitious, I've realized is a word that's kind of weird. Because it's about chasing something. It's about thinking that when I get there, that level. that level puts me at a different hierarchy, or that goal puts me at a different place. I don't think that's true, my love. I always say this. I say the best poets, the best singers, the best spiritual teachers are not known to more than 10, 15 people, because they've recognized that their breath, their demeanor, how they leave their footprints in the sand, that's That's what counts, not these levels we put, you know? So I think it's hard when you're young because you feel, no, each threshold, Mitra, no, I hear you. But no, you see, when I do this, then it's going to put me more and I can do more. And when I'm there, I can do more. You could do more without all those levels just by being of service to the world. It doesn't mean... when you get to those levels, you will be of more service. I'll tell you something, people who have 10 million Instagram followers are not necessarily of more service to the world than that person who's right now in Afghanistan, who's built a school.
Speaker #1
Certainly not.
Speaker #0
So again, these levels are very much something society has taught us in modern day society that we have to hit these, you know, markers. We have to, we have to get here and there. What I'm saying, the only marker that matters is those footprints in the sand, is how you wish to walk. You were telling me about your beautiful friend, Matt, who's in heaven watching us. And you were saying in his 26 years what he did. And to me, that's the perfect example of a person who was not a celebrity, but was in his young life. bringing love and joy to so many. And now that you told me about him, now I will tell five more people to them. That resonance is all that stays, not the marker points. The marker points actually set me up for a failure because those markers will never be enough. I'll be 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 60. And I'll think then at 70, 80, I never hit my markers. They'll make me feel like crap. And who set those markers anyway? Yeah, who set those markers? Modern day pop culture society, which deals with shallowness. But now they're becoming more alive. And hopefully we're understanding differently.
Speaker #1
But do you also feel like, I feel like I'm seeing a thing where people are becoming more alive and aware and waking up. And there's an equal uprising of people who are like. less that. Like with TikTok and listen, I've talked in my last podcast about how I'm not hating on TikTok. I think it's a great tool. If you can't beat them, join them. Like I will get on there and talk about the things I want to talk about. But the fact is there's a lot of people on there that are extremely famous for doing very simple dance moves and lip syncing. So it's like, there's this uprising of that kind of thing. Like people who have like 100 million followers. And that's the thing that's hard for me to wrap my brain around. And I'm not being bitter when I ask this. I'm just like, why do those people or why are those people gaining recognition when there's people who are like the teachers of the 15 who are doing it more in silence or in the shadows? Like, why does that happen?
Speaker #0
It's a very good question. And someone asked me a different question last night. It was not about TikTok or social media, but it was the exact same question. It's interesting when a famous person boils an egg, it will get 50 million hits. It's ridiculous. It's when a famous person is going to an ice cream stand, everyone's looking, oh, what ice cream are they eating? That's part of a culture that has developed in the past 20, 30 years of making these, quote, celebrity famous people our gods. And we have seen, haven't we, that a lot of them actually are not gods.
Speaker #1
Not even close.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So that is what we humans have done. Before an actor or actress or a singer or a singer was a singer or actress and actress. And we looked at their work and we either said we love it or we don't like their art or we like their song. But now it's like if they're just going and even saying a cuss word. gets 200 million hits. And that's what... I'm hoping people will question themselves and their intellect and their choices that they're making. Do we want to fuel goodness in this world? Do we want to fuel true joy, true pain, true art? Or are we just looking for people that will take our minds away because we don't want to think? Let me tell you, there's a lot of famous people I love. They do great work. They use their platforms for great work. That, to me, is a human being that leaves good footprints in the sand. But it's what pop culture has allowed and what pop culture has to undo. Because every time these people then do a little bit wrong, then they fall from grace huge. And we then shun them. And we just like... go crazy and cuss them out and just slaughter them. None of it's productive. None of it's humane, really. None of them is. They're not gods and they're not satans.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
They're people like us. But I think, and this is what I say, I have on my social media, like five, six different, I know people saying five or six, but that's true that I may go to, you know, I don't go on it every day that inspire me or make me laugh or make me think or are entertainment, but true entertainment, true joy, true art, inspirational. But all the rest is noise to me. Why would I need to fill my mind with what this person is doing to cook an egg? When I can listen to a song that's going to make my heart dance, or read four lines that's going to make me feel wonderful. So it's, you know, it's what pop culture has allowed, glorifying celebrity, glorifying the smallest everyday mundane acts and then trashing them. Trashing them, which then creates them to have breakdowns and then they can never find a life. So I hope people will listen and I hope they will start making the change, you know. That's the one part of social media that's so hard to kind of stomach.
Speaker #1
Yeah, totally. And I think that that's a big part of why people get anxiety when they go on there. It's like you can feel the toxicity from that part.
Speaker #0
It is toxicity. It's like if my validation is coming from like we get back to the beginning of our conversation. If I worked on this post and I just got three likes and it was such an amazing post. And then someone comes with this, like... Put someone who's mooning other people and gets 50 million likes. That has to make me question where our minds are. It has to make me. And I question it. And I know, I know when that truth and that light is being distorted. And to me, I can recognize that. And I'm happy I can. And I'm happy I don't give in to it. Because I think it's very important. Very important. Let's not glorify things. Let's give credit to goodness.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Let's give credit to kindness, love, true art. You know, I think if we do, we would not have had the problems in our world that we have today. Yeah. You know, someone told me the other day, it really upset me. I said, I'm doing this for this young family, this young boy I'm mentoring in Afghanistan, and this and this. And she said, well, thank God that's not our problem. And I said, but no, it is my problem. Because I can feel energies. And I know you can too, Lauren. I can feel when somewhere or someone is in pain. And I don't want to be turning my back on them. See, those things. need to be talked about.
Speaker #1
Well, the lie that we're separate from each other's pain is what causes most of the pain in the world.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You said that it's brilliant what you said. And it goes back to these social media things too. Social media is a platform that should be used as a privilege to say or do something that will create a positive impact, whether it's even a pain, it's a positive impact, a news, it creates awareness. It is not there to glorify and then knock down things. I don't think it is.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
I don't think it should be. If it is. then we have lost what its essence should be for us.
Speaker #1
I agree. What can we do as individuals to help push pop culture back in a more humane direction? Is there anything we can do?
Speaker #0
I think a lot more people are emerging. People like yourself who are voicing it. I think that's what's going to make the difference. When someone listens to this, and whether it's two people or four people or 20 people, who will then also think about it the next time they go on social media. It takes time. It took us time to get here, and it will take us time to undo it. But we can if we choose to, if we choose to.
Speaker #1
I hope we all make the choice.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Mitra, I love you.
Speaker #0
I love you so much. I love you for, as a very young person, for having so much wisdom. and sharing this wisdom on so many different platforms through your music, through your words, through your videos with people and podcasts, I think your footprints are beautifully etched. I really do. And I think it's a gift when someone young, especially comes to these points or starts questioning these things. I think it's wonderful. And I think the people who are listening are going to walk away from this with some resonance. It's going to stay with them.
Speaker #1
I think so too. Well, I know that. I know so because every time anyone walks away from you or a workshop you've done, which you do so many amazing workshops, and we definitely need to plug those at the end, but there's always a change. I've never had a conversation with you and not been changed after. And you are such a brilliant teacher, mentor, friend. You're my LA mother.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love you.
Speaker #1
And I just, I'm so grateful you exist. So thank you for your footprints and for leading the way.
Speaker #0
Thank you so much. And let's have a beautiful day.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
Okay. Love you. Love you.
Speaker #1
Thank you for listening. And thanks to my guest, Mitra Rabar. For more info on Mitra, you can follow her at voiceofmitra on Instagram. You can also find her music, meditations, and teaching on her YouTube channel, Mitra Ma. That's M-I-T-R-A-M-A 11. Mitra Ma 11. Thanks so much to Unleash associate producer Emily Shulmanovich. You can follow her at WeCan'tFindEmily. Thank you to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow Unleash on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag Mitra at Voice of Mitra so she can share it too. My wish for you this week is that you welcome whatever pain you're going through as part of your journey. Feel it. Share it. Let it be. And know that in the end, it will alchemize into strength. I love you and I believe in you. I'll talk with you next week.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Description

From this conversation you’ll learn:

Why falling down and staying down is progress
Why pain is such a vital part of life
How to love and accept the times you don’t know what to do
Why not knowing means you’re not ready to know
How and why to live life without expectations
Why vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength
The process of building empathy
How to stop living with regret
The strength in acknowledging pain while your experiencing it
Living in your past vs. living in your present
The problem with making goals your sole focus
Your mission vs your goal
How social media can and should be used
And so much more!

Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative

Follow me: @LaurenLoGrasso

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Transcription

Speaker #0
Hi, Creative. It's Lauren here, and I wanted to ask you a quick favor. If you like the show and it has helped you, please remember to rate, review, and follow it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Also consider sharing the show on your Instagram stories or Twitter. Tag the guest at Unleash Your Inner Creative and at Lauren LaGrasso, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And now let's get to the creative chat. Hello and welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, actor, and creative coach. And this show is meant to give you tools to take fear out of the driver's seat and love yourself enough to pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. On the show, we explore creativity, the creative process, process and journey, mental health, spirituality, and self-development. Today you'll hear about embracing the times when you don't know the answers or when you have to endure pain on your creative journey. How open and vulnerable are you about your pain? We all go through it and we assume that when we talk about our pain or feeling loss or being vulnerable, but what I've come to realize recently is that we usually talk about the stuff that's painful in the past tense once we've overcome it. And maybe that's because we want to show people that we're strong enough to get out of that place in our lives. But I think it's causing a lot of us to miss out on the point of connection and the honesty of what it's really like to be a human being. And that kind of dialogue is what we all need as humans and creatives. So today's guest is someone you might recognize from a previous episode back in 2019. She's a spiritual teacher, healer, and a dear friend who sits down with me again. This time to talk about how life has changed for all of us through a pandemic that doesn't seem to be over just yet. Mitra Rabar is an Iranian-born multi-hyphenate who immigrated to the United States when she was just a teenager. Since then, she's embraced herself as a creative in all forms. She's an author, singer, and a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher to stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Megan Fox, Sheryl Crow, and people like you and me. I wanted to have Mitra back on the show because she's one of my favorite humans. And she's helped me in some of my darkest times. And right now is a dark or at least an uncertain time for so many of us. So whether we like it or not, the pandemic has changed us. Maybe you're better for it or maybe you're still in the thick of it and don't even know how to begin to recover. The great news is Meacher will remind you that your pain is an important part of your journey. If you feel in any way alone in your pain, this episode is for you. Now here she is, Mitra Rabar. So Mitra, welcome back to Unleash Your Inner Creative. You are a repeat offender, my favorite kind.
Speaker #1
I love that kind of offending. Yes,
Speaker #0
only that kind. That's the only kind we accept. You're one of my favorite people. You've changed the course of my life so many times, but you came... into my life and really became a spiritual teacher and mentor and friend and family to me back in 2016. And we always have the best talks. And we were just catching up because we haven't seen each other since the pandy. I saw you right before the pandemic.
Speaker #1
Yes, thank God.
Speaker #0
Thank God. I think it was March 2nd or 3rd. And everything shut down on the 13th.
Speaker #1
Yes. I remember we were sitting and we're talking and talking. I can't believe it. I've missed you so much. I'm so happy were here today. You're, you are a magical being and I love spending time with you. It's always like effortless.
Speaker #0
Yeah. It feels the same for me. And yeah, I just remember you were like, I'm trying to get ginger because that's the thing that really helps against COVID in Iran at that time, because COVID was really bad in Iran and you're trying to help back there. And then once COVID hit here, I'm like, I have to get ginger. So. But you and I, before we got on, we're just talking about surrender. And you were talking about how you feel like you're finally in this place of surrender in your life. And how you don't know if you could have gotten here before the things you've gone through. And you couldn't have done it probably in your 30s or 40s. But can you talk a little bit about being in this place of surrender? And is it possible for us to get there when we're younger?
Speaker #1
First of all, I'm sure for certain people it's possible, you know. I was looking at videos of, you know, these Sadhguru and Osho, you know, and they seem to have maybe gotten that earlier in their life than I did. But Is it possible? 100%. But I think it's a lot of things. I think it's like we have to cook. You know, I have to cook. I was telling you, I was in my 30s, 20s, 30s and 40s. I was chasing so many dreams. And I was dealing with so many of my own inner fears and anxieties. As I was teaching, I was learning, I was teaching and I was a student constantly. But I think it comes to a point of really loving the imperfections or accepting them. Like everything is imperfect and never will it be perfect. And like I was telling you before we started recording, I started not expecting anything in the day, but just the day. So what happened is as I released this expectation, I was constantly, constantly surprised, amazed. and caressed and connected more to what I call the source in the universe. It's like, for example, when you expect so much out of anything or any person, they're human, you know, so when they don't give you that expectation, you get so disappointed, so hurt. But if you wake up, kind of don't have an expectation, you put something out. Let's say the most simple thing. You put a post out. You hope for, let's say, 200 likes. You get two likes. That's great. Yeah. That's great because there are two people that you were able to reach out to, you know. And so I think those are the things that are going on now more in like our culture, our world, is we have so much expectation from social media, from feeling we want to be loved, we want to be accepted, where the truth is that those expectations are tiring. They exhaust us. And when we don't expect, then imagine how pleased we are when we go on that Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and we see, oh my God, 10 people listened to my song. 10 people who didn't know it five minutes ago. Yeah. And that's pretty amazing that I could reach 10 people who I don't even know. You know, so I think when you are in that place, you surrender to something that's much greater than you. And it's timeless. Like, you know, that tree, I've been talking about entities a lot, that tree or ocean or sky or flower or pebble. It exists, right? It has life. So does it have expectation, that tree? Really?
Speaker #2
When you put it that way.
Speaker #1
No, no, when we put it, but, you know, does it? Or does that dog on the street have an expectation? It has a feeling. But that's not the expectation. You know, feeling is different than expectation. I feel pain. I feel anguish. I feel hurt. But expectation to me was tiring. And I realized I've been living so much in expectation of what the universe will give me. Not only people. Oh, I'm doing this. So the universe is going to see that and gift me this and this. Well, that's not necessarily always true, right? We can be amazing people. We can do great stuff. But it doesn't mean we're going to always get up. audience clapping for us. Yeah. And that's the hard part. That's the hard part when you're young, because you think I'm doing all this work and I want it. I want, you know, to get the accomplishment, the recognition. So I think it came to a point where I saw so much pain and suffering in our world. And I realized that, yeah, I see the pain and suffering, but every day. I am waking up to something else. And that's just me being present with all that we have, which is unbelievable. I mean, the fact I'm sitting here with you in this room that has a fan, that we have water. I know those are so basic, but they're not basic because a lot of people don't have them. Right. And that the sky is there and you and I are here. I think all those things, somehow something came in me that I saw it. And I think what really helped me was I saw a video Osho did. And Osho's passed away. And he was controversial and all that. But this video, he said how much there is no tomorrow. There is no goal. The goal is now this moment. That once this moment is passed, it's passed, right? So the goal should not be a goal, because that goal is in Tomorrowland. You know, I have a goal. Let's say I want to do this. And then I put all my energies and mind into doing that. So it takes away from my now, right? Takes away from me being present with you right now. Because I keep thinking, oh, about my goal. And once I get to that destination, I'm going to be so happy.
Speaker #0
No, you won't.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
And I think most of us know that consciously, but then we're still here in the material world. and we're taking in that messaging from the material world that... Our value is in what we do and how much we make, not in who we are. So for someone who's really wrapped up in that, I mean, I still struggle with that all the time. I know what you're saying is true. Mentally, I know that's true. I haven't ever been able to live that every day.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
How do you get there?
Speaker #1
You get there when you're aware. You're very aware. You're very mindful. You understand who you are. You understand when there are waves and you go through the waves. You don't stop the waves. I think if you stop the waves, some people never get there. Like I was telling you before we began recording, some people are 80 and 90 and they never get to that place of peace.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
Because they don't want to go through the waves. They don't want to do the work to get there. How I got here was also through decades of working on myself, as you know. I mean, I've had the challenges in my childhood, in my adolescent years. I've had the challenges of... being away from my family, of sometimes having no money, of having health challenges, different challenges that life throws you. And every challenge, for some reason, I went through it. I didn't avoid it. I let myself fall down. I was telling someone that the other day. I was saying, falling down is such a great thing. Staying down is such a great thing.
Speaker #0
Well, can you explain that?
Speaker #1
Yeah, because we think always... we have to walk towards something, right? Like I have to walk toward a goal. I have to walk toward my healing. But when you fall down through those broken pieces that we feel like breaking inside, that's what the light enters. When we're vulnerable, that's our raw, pure form. And when we stay down, it's not that we're not progressing. That's completely wrong. When you fall and you stay down, you are progressing. For your soul is recognizing so many things that you would not if you're just walking towards something. So then finally, when you get up, those steps are going to be different. So when someone says to me the other day, they said, I've fallen down and this and this. I said, I'm so excited for you. She said, why? I'm in pain. I said, yes, but I know. what this pain will lead you to. And you can't get there unless you little bit see the blood come through you. You have to bleed to understand what it means then to not bleed when you get up anymore. That blood that leaves you is your release of things that no longer serve you, which you would not have done unless you fell down. And that's what the pandemic did for a lot of people.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
They didn't know what to do with it. They fell down. And when they fell down, their own magic unfolded of not knowing. I said, I love that you don't know. I love when people say, I don't know. I wish, I wish, you know, I wish I had someone, I have told you this before when I was in my twenties or thirties who would tell me this stuff.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But I didn't have it. I really wish I did because half of my life I didn't know. Most of my life I didn't know. I still don't know.
Speaker #0
And I think that we beat ourselves up for not knowing rather than just being in the not knowing. Because we feel like a failure for the fact that we don't know. Like I'm in a state of not knowing something right now. Like I know, but I don't know the right timing. And so I keep beating myself up because I haven't made this choice yet. But I've never been able to do anything in my life until I've known. And once I know, I don't hesitate. I make the move right away. when I don't feel 100% sure of something, I cannot move.
Speaker #1
So I love what you said. You said, I don't know, but then when I know something, I know it. And see, that's the whole thing. I love not knowing because when you don't know, you cannot find the answer.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Because something somewhere has not aligned within you or externally if it's external.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
But when the alignment happens, then that means you're ready to know and then you're aligned. you not knowing is like being in a haze, right? And one thing amazing about the fog. is what you then see in the fog, what it unfolds. Imagine you're in a fog. I remember I was lost. One time I was driving and it was foggy and I was on the freeway and I didn't know at all where the hell I am. And I exited, which I don't know was smart or not, where then I further got lost and it was all foggy. And I remember I stopped my car and I got out and I saw that there was this beautiful like sound of a brook or river or something. I said, where is this? And I realized there was like a treasure, like a gem of a nature spot that I never would have known unless that fog had led me to that exit. So what I'm saying, the same thing happens with the fog in our mind, right? Where that fog will lead you. And then the answer that comes is such a different place than when you originally asked that question. before you enter the fog. So I think it's great when you're in a fog, because it means your soul wants to awaken to something that you are on your way to it, but you're not fully aligned to it.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love that Mitra. And I really needed to hear that. Because if we don't do something the right way, like I was even thinking when you're talking about people fall down, they instantly want to get up. Well, if you fall down, you break your leg and you get up right away. you're walking on a broken leg.
Speaker #1
Exactly.
Speaker #0
And I think the pandemic really changed me as I know did most people. And I'm still kind of in, I'm in that pain still. I'm not out of it yet.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I was trying to snap back, but I can't do it. Like something changed in me. And I'm still an optimist. I'm always going to be enthusiastic and excited about life and love people. But I've realize that for me, optimism isn't just like... thinking everything's great all the time. It's believing that the best possible thing can and will happen, but acknowledging the pain along the way.
Speaker #1
I love that you said that. I'm so happy. Thank you for saying that because we had a small discussion about this before we began. Pain is something that we must feel. And if we don't feel it, it means we are not seeing who we are and what life is. Life has pain. We have pain. It's part of our tapestry, just like being vulnerable is, just like being strong is, just like being childlike is. We all have the sage and the child within us, right? We both have the wisdom and the childlike wonder within us. I love that you said that because I think pain should be talked about. Yes. I think this thing of society of always wanting to feel great. This is... is not really realistic, nor is it acknowledging who we are.
Speaker #0
But the other thing I've really noticed from going through this is people are willing to talk about pain, but only when they've come out on the other side.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
There's very little discussion of when you're still in the thick of things.
Speaker #1
I think it's because there's a vulnerability that pain brings, and people don't want others to see them vulnerable because they think it's a sign of weakness. where vulnerability is the biggest sign of strength. When you let someone see your tears, believe it or not, you're giving them a confirmation that it's okay if you cry too. And that's one thing I talked about you, you know, I love about you, Lauren. You use your platform to show vulnerability also, to show the sides of us that goes through life that we bleed through. Why I think pain is so important is because when there's pain, That's when we connect more to the light. Most of us don't connect to the light when we're feeling great. I mean, that requires a person who's really a devotee or a dedicated person and understands really what light means. But light has within it the little streams of darkness. That's why it's the light. because Even if you look, we've talked about this before, if you look out through history, whether it's Jesus, Moses, Ali, anyone, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the pain led them to the light. Our pain leads us to the light of understanding, being compassionate, being kind, understanding other people's pain. How can we understand other people's pain if we... shy away from pain if we don't acknowledge it. I don't think we can. I always say, God, make me always see pain. Always feel it. Always understand it. For that makes me understand you better. Yeah. And understand each other better. And I love when people like yourself use your platform, whether it's of singing, of talking, of spoken word, of dancing, that says, you know, I'm feeling really crappy today. I don't feel good or I'm really sad or I'm really pained about something. I don't want to talk about it. or I want to dance about it or I want to speak about it. If we do that more, you know how much less there will be a suicide rate? You know how much less there will be a depression rate? You know how much less people will not be scared to show themselves as who they really are and not feel constantly judged? Because, of course, if you're feeling judged, if you tell someone, I feel horrible, then you feel they don't want to hear it. Well, you're not going to say it again to them, right?
Speaker #0
Yeah. Because they're not safe.
Speaker #1
No, they're not safe. So I'm so happy that, you know, there are people like you who say, I'm going through this now, not after I've gone through it. I'm going to speak about it right now where I'm going through it. And then other people will say, oh, I'm going through it too. Oh, I'm going through it too. And before you know, everyone is somehow saying someone's going through it. Isn't that beautiful?
Speaker #0
It's very beautiful. And it's so true. And it's so, what struck me when you're talking is. You said, think of how much less suicide there'd be, how much less depression. The minute you acknowledge your pain, it starts to dissipate. Exactly. It's when you're avoiding it that it's its strongest.
Speaker #1
Yes. And you know, I just celebrated a birthday and a new decade of life. And I was thinking, I was writing to a friend. I said, as I reviewed my life, you know, you review your life at different birthdays,
Speaker #0
right?
Speaker #1
I was thinking of all the pain, the challenges, the hardships, all the triumphs, the joy. What stayed was not the pain. It was the love that comes also through the pain. All that I remembered was the love. And someone said, well, you had gone through this, this breakup. I said, yeah, but what stayed was the love. What I recall about that X now is the love. So pain is very interesting. Pain to me. is like the worm that becomes the butterfly pain is what becomes the love pain is what becomes the flight pain is what becomes the freedom for pain allows us our most vulnerability to happen which is when the caterpillar wants to become the butterfly it doesn't know who the butterfly is but it has no choice but to become it pain will only transform us to fly. It will not make us stay down. And I think that's what we need to understand. And what you said is so true. When I'm talking to you about my pain, I'm giving it to the wind to carry away. I'm giving my story to be carried wherever it needs to be carried within me, within you, to the air. And I think that's so important. I've always talked about my anxieties and that I developed when I was young, a phobia disorder. Because I was going through so much change.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And I worked on it, worked on it. And I would diminish one phobia and another one would phobia. But now I understand it. If I hadn't done that work, how could I have discovered who I was?
Speaker #0
Yeah. And it's interesting as you learn more, like something I've learned about anxiety for me is I only feel it when I don't feel safe. And I don't mean like safe in a fake way. Like, I mean, when I don't feel emotionally safe with another person or I'm not sure if someone has best interests for me, that's when the anxiety comes up. So it's like, for me, I've learned it's a teacher because it tells me when I'm not living in alignment with myself and trusting my intuition.
Speaker #1
That's really true. I just put something out. It's on my Instagram and on YouTube. I said, fear is our friend. Anxiety is our friend. There's two types of anxiety, but The type of anxiety most of us experience is because something doesn't make us feel safe or within us we're not safe about what that is. Like, let's say someone asked me to be on Broadway.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Yes, yes. We put that out there. And then let's say that happens and I get anxious. So the reason I'm getting anxious, that anxiety is a really good thing. Because it means I'm excited, but maybe a little bit not confident in what I can do, right? So it means I'm not feeling safe in what the universe is giving to me. So, you know, and sometimes anxiety gets interwoven with excitement.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And we have to remember that always anxiety is not a bad thing. And another type of anxiety, like, you know, fear of flying, fear of intimacy is because it's guiding you back to you. What do I feel unsafe about? What is it that I need? And sometimes it's warning you of something that you shouldn't do also. Like, you know, lots of people said, you know, I was anxious before this procedure. And I went for a second opinion and I realized this.
Speaker #0
Yeah.
Speaker #1
And that's an anxiety that's guiding you. So anxieties are such different forms, you know, but they can definitely guide us back to us. I mean, not to feel anxiety at all. It's kind of not normal.
Speaker #0
Well, I talked to this woman once, actually it was someone I had on my show. And I was like, hey, so do you feel anxiety at all? And she's like, no. I'm like, what? Like you don't feel she's like, yeah, my sister has it. I just I really don't have it. I'm fine. And I'm like, how? What did you do? Like, how do you live like this? And it was like, I really believe her. I mean, she just seemed chill.
Speaker #1
And you know what? There are people who have zero anxiety. But if you have anxiety, it's not like a bad thing.
Speaker #0
No,
Speaker #1
it's bad when it paralyzes you. And I've had that when I felt paralyzed. And it makes you so indecisive. And that's when you know you have to look at it really deeper and maybe seek help for it. You know, go to someone. But I'm talking about the low-key anxiety where we just feel. And I think that sometimes, you know, something also we process as we go through life. It's like, imagine, I always say a little kitten. When it wants to jump for the first time, it's anxious. It goes back and forth and it's like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do it? It's normal. That's normal to feel. Like right now, if you say to me, Mitra, I got commissioned to do this great film. I'm putting all this energy. Yes, I love this. So you're going to be you're going to be a little bit anxious. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I mean, you care. You care. You're excited. But it's different if that anxiety then paralyzes you that you say, Mitra, I'm not going to even. No, I can't do it. I can't. Then that means something within you doesn't believe or love yourself. So that. Kind of fear can be a lack of self-love and self-belief and self-esteem. But again, I want to say this. I want to say because I know a lot of people who are going to listen to this podcast are going to be people who are younger people or early midlife. And I want to say this. Don't be hard on yourself. Please don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect yourself to go through these. big mountains and hills and valleys, and never fall down, never be anxious, never get depressed, never get disappointed. That's a part of your growing pain. And until we're breathing, I always say this, we are growing. Growth happens much more, of course, when we're young, because we're so much in life. We're so much interacting with life. And as we're much older, We don't interact with life. We interact more with... what our life has been.
Speaker #0
Oh, what does that mean?
Speaker #1
That means like someone who's 90, most of people who are 90 or in their 80s interact with their past.
Speaker #0
Wow.
Speaker #1
But there are those who interact with the present. So they're constantly growing, constantly loving. I remember I have a neighbor who's 102. And I remember when she was turning 99, I went to visit her and I said, how are you doing today? She goes, I was just thinking. I got out and I was able to walk to my yard and I discovered this beautiful bird I'd never seen. And I thought, wow, here I am at 99 seeing something I never did. And I love that she acknowledged and said that to me. For that kind of confirmed my belief that until we are living, we are breathing, we are seeing, we are learning, we're loving. But lots of people shut life out. And some people do it early in life, not 80 or 90. Some people just shut life out. So they constantly live in their past. And that's sometimes really sad to see like a young person do that because they're shutting their own light out.
Speaker #0
So if someone is, I have a couple people close to me that live in a lot of regret. They live in a lot of regret to the point where it's like stopping them from moving forward. If that's happening for someone, how would you advise them to start to inch toward the present and change what they can now?
Speaker #1
You know, regret. is a part of the human story. But when it becomes like an OCD, a constant regret that doesn't leave you, then it's because I believe.
Speaker #0
you don't love yourself. I think, again, it comes from lack of self-love. Because the truth is this, when a moment has passed or an experience has passed, it is no longer in the present, right? So if I'm living constantly in regret, I am not, in a way, seeing the now, the blessings of now. Regret is hard for people who have strong regret are really hard on themselves. They think if they had said yes to something, if they had done it a different route, it would have had a different outcome. That's not necessarily true.
Speaker #1
No.
Speaker #0
You know, I think, oh, if I had said at 19, I had said yes to New York and my mom, you know, stopped me and didn't want me to go there, I would have been on Broadway. That's not necessarily true. I may have gone there and had my biggest heartache and left there even more devastated at 20. So I want people who are listening to this, who have regret, understand this. When we regret something, we rewrite the scenario in our minds and the best outcome. If I had done this, then I would have that. Really? Is that true? No. If I had stayed with that boyfriend, I would have had two kids now and been happy. Really? Do you really know that? If I had said yes to that job, Mitra, I would have been in corporate America. Really? What if you were miserable on that job and quit? So I want people who have regret to understand, are you writing the outcome? If you're writing the outcome, you're not being fair to you because you're writing an outcome that possibly, most probably would not have. have been the outcome.
Speaker #1
Mic drop. That's so good. And it's so true. It's so true. I never thought of it that way. When we regret, we write the outcome as being the best possible outcome, but it's most likely not true.
Speaker #0
Not true.
Speaker #1
It's like, I'm thinking,
Speaker #0
oh, tomorrow, if it's going to be a sunny day, then that means I'm going to have a lot of energy and I'm going to have whatever. That's not true. I don't know how I'm going to sleep that night. I don't know when I wake up what's going to go on. So why am I writing an outcome that is never going to, in a way, materialize what I think it is? And that's the same with goals. And I'm getting back to that.
Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. Because I wanted to ask you about this. So you read my mind. Thank you.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So this is about goals. And I, you know, something I've been really much present with in the last year. I've always been very goal oriented.
Speaker #1
Same.
Speaker #0
Yes. Ambitious and very. mission-oriented. But now I've recognized that those goals stop me from living in today. Because goals are for tomorrowland, way in the future. Nothing wrong with having goals, but something really wrong with making them your sole focus, because you're chasing life, and it takes away from the now, which means what? from the gratitude and joy of this moment. I have a person who's telling me for the past 10 years that she wants to move to, I'm giving the name, like let's say Italy.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
So she's everyday miserable living in the United States because she thinks once she gets to Italy, her whole life will change. Her goal is Italy that hasn't been able to materialize. She's been miserable for 10 years, literally. So I asked her, what if Italy never happens? And I said, what if you go to Italy and you don't like Italy? She goes, that destination is really important. I said, no, my friend, what's important is the journey. Because that destination, I will guarantee you, will change. I will guarantee you change. Do you think when I was... 18, I thought of the destinations my life would take. None of them were what I thought at 18. Not better or worse, just different. So destinations are exhausting. It's in the flight that the magic happens.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And you know, you can't see us, but Mitra's beautiful statement there just brought tears to my eyes because I think I recognize that my whole life. I've been chasing goals and putting my worth in goals. And then when I don't achieve them, I don't feel like I'm worth anything. And then I lost all this time. in the present moment, because I was so focused on what the outcome might be.
Speaker #0
Yeah. Now I want to tell you this. I don't know if I ever sent you this email, this word that I love. It's called resalat. Resalat means a mission that is on the soul before it comes into even life. Like people like me who believe in reincarnation or believe in God, believe that we are here each for a reason. You, my friend, have a resalat. You have a mission in this life. And I think it's to be of service. But how you do that service, whether it's through song, through podcast, through music, through whatever comes later, unfolds, is part of the Rasala. So people who are mission-oriented, which I have been myself, we confuse the mission with the goal, I think. Mission already is with us, and we will carry it always, whether we have a goal or not. You will always... See people who are going through a hard plight. You will never be that person who walks and sees a homeless person or a dog on the street or a woman crying and you're going to turn your face. But that's not a goal. That's your mission. It's always with you. Yeah. So I thought always that my mission has to have goals. Like I have to have a goal of doing this and this and that's my mission. But no, my mission is everyday life.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
And I think that's what we have to recognize. A song is produced and you have a goal producing a song, but you are the song. So you are unfolding each minute, but the song is one time everyone listens to it. Yes. And that's amazing and beautiful, but you are the song. You are the podcast and it's how you live it, how you leave your footprints on the sand that matters, not the goals.
Speaker #1
Yeah. And something I've been thinking a lot about lately is like, can I just be happy doing it? Because if I'm not happy doing it, then there's no point in searching for an outcome in it. Like I have to enjoy it or else it's not worth it to me.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You know, again, search. There is no search but the now. And the search is the now. It's such a deep but simple statement. We spend most of our life thinking that somewhere else, something else. The grass is greener. The goal will make us happier. Once I get married, I'll be so happy. Once I have my first kid, I'll be so happy. Once I go on Deepak Chopra's show, I'll be so happy. Really? Does any of those change the definition of who I am? Does it change the definition of who we are? Am I not Mitra, whether I write five books or sing songs? I'm still Mitra. The song is me. the book is me and i need to be present for that song to be heard by myself so the goal is the now but there's nothing wrong in saying i would love to do these things and i hope i can for i think those would be amazing to do but to think that those are going to make me all of a sudden three hundred sixty degrees different or change
Speaker #1
doesn't happen. So how do you keep the goal and not get attached to it? Because part of me, like spiritually, I a hundred percent agree with what you're saying in the body human. In my experience, I'm like 60% on board, 40% terrified of what you're saying. Cause there's a part of me that still thinks I can control things. And part of me feels like, okay, if I have the goal, but then I'm like, okay, well, but if it doesn't happen, that's also great. because I'm still me. then I'm not actually like ambitious and going toward the goal. And there is a part of me that feels like I will never be happy if I don't hit these certain milestones.
Speaker #0
I know because I think I know who you are. And I know that you always want to do better and better and better.
Speaker #1
Busted.
Speaker #0
But what I want to say to you is you're already good. So doing better, you're already there. So those things are just desserts. The main ingredient is what's important. And that's for the soul to be awakened and to say, I am mindful of life. I am mindful of people, right? I'm mindful of pain. I'm mindful of joy. Ambition, because I was always so greatly ambitious, I've realized is a word that's kind of weird. Because it's about chasing something. It's about thinking that when I get there, that level. that level puts me at a different hierarchy, or that goal puts me at a different place. I don't think that's true, my love. I always say this. I say the best poets, the best singers, the best spiritual teachers are not known to more than 10, 15 people, because they've recognized that their breath, their demeanor, how they leave their footprints in the sand, that's That's what counts, not these levels we put, you know? So I think it's hard when you're young because you feel, no, each threshold, Mitra, no, I hear you. But no, you see, when I do this, then it's going to put me more and I can do more. And when I'm there, I can do more. You could do more without all those levels just by being of service to the world. It doesn't mean... when you get to those levels, you will be of more service. I'll tell you something, people who have 10 million Instagram followers are not necessarily of more service to the world than that person who's right now in Afghanistan, who's built a school.
Speaker #1
Certainly not.
Speaker #0
So again, these levels are very much something society has taught us in modern day society that we have to hit these, you know, markers. We have to, we have to get here and there. What I'm saying, the only marker that matters is those footprints in the sand, is how you wish to walk. You were telling me about your beautiful friend, Matt, who's in heaven watching us. And you were saying in his 26 years what he did. And to me, that's the perfect example of a person who was not a celebrity, but was in his young life. bringing love and joy to so many. And now that you told me about him, now I will tell five more people to them. That resonance is all that stays, not the marker points. The marker points actually set me up for a failure because those markers will never be enough. I'll be 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 60. And I'll think then at 70, 80, I never hit my markers. They'll make me feel like crap. And who set those markers anyway? Yeah, who set those markers? Modern day pop culture society, which deals with shallowness. But now they're becoming more alive. And hopefully we're understanding differently.
Speaker #1
But do you also feel like, I feel like I'm seeing a thing where people are becoming more alive and aware and waking up. And there's an equal uprising of people who are like. less that. Like with TikTok and listen, I've talked in my last podcast about how I'm not hating on TikTok. I think it's a great tool. If you can't beat them, join them. Like I will get on there and talk about the things I want to talk about. But the fact is there's a lot of people on there that are extremely famous for doing very simple dance moves and lip syncing. So it's like, there's this uprising of that kind of thing. Like people who have like 100 million followers. And that's the thing that's hard for me to wrap my brain around. And I'm not being bitter when I ask this. I'm just like, why do those people or why are those people gaining recognition when there's people who are like the teachers of the 15 who are doing it more in silence or in the shadows? Like, why does that happen?
Speaker #0
It's a very good question. And someone asked me a different question last night. It was not about TikTok or social media, but it was the exact same question. It's interesting when a famous person boils an egg, it will get 50 million hits. It's ridiculous. It's when a famous person is going to an ice cream stand, everyone's looking, oh, what ice cream are they eating? That's part of a culture that has developed in the past 20, 30 years of making these, quote, celebrity famous people our gods. And we have seen, haven't we, that a lot of them actually are not gods.
Speaker #1
Not even close.
Speaker #0
Yeah. So that is what we humans have done. Before an actor or actress or a singer or a singer was a singer or actress and actress. And we looked at their work and we either said we love it or we don't like their art or we like their song. But now it's like if they're just going and even saying a cuss word. gets 200 million hits. And that's what... I'm hoping people will question themselves and their intellect and their choices that they're making. Do we want to fuel goodness in this world? Do we want to fuel true joy, true pain, true art? Or are we just looking for people that will take our minds away because we don't want to think? Let me tell you, there's a lot of famous people I love. They do great work. They use their platforms for great work. That, to me, is a human being that leaves good footprints in the sand. But it's what pop culture has allowed and what pop culture has to undo. Because every time these people then do a little bit wrong, then they fall from grace huge. And we then shun them. And we just like... go crazy and cuss them out and just slaughter them. None of it's productive. None of it's humane, really. None of them is. They're not gods and they're not satans.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
They're people like us. But I think, and this is what I say, I have on my social media, like five, six different, I know people saying five or six, but that's true that I may go to, you know, I don't go on it every day that inspire me or make me laugh or make me think or are entertainment, but true entertainment, true joy, true art, inspirational. But all the rest is noise to me. Why would I need to fill my mind with what this person is doing to cook an egg? When I can listen to a song that's going to make my heart dance, or read four lines that's going to make me feel wonderful. So it's, you know, it's what pop culture has allowed, glorifying celebrity, glorifying the smallest everyday mundane acts and then trashing them. Trashing them, which then creates them to have breakdowns and then they can never find a life. So I hope people will listen and I hope they will start making the change, you know. That's the one part of social media that's so hard to kind of stomach.
Speaker #1
Yeah, totally. And I think that that's a big part of why people get anxiety when they go on there. It's like you can feel the toxicity from that part.
Speaker #0
It is toxicity. It's like if my validation is coming from like we get back to the beginning of our conversation. If I worked on this post and I just got three likes and it was such an amazing post. And then someone comes with this, like... Put someone who's mooning other people and gets 50 million likes. That has to make me question where our minds are. It has to make me. And I question it. And I know, I know when that truth and that light is being distorted. And to me, I can recognize that. And I'm happy I can. And I'm happy I don't give in to it. Because I think it's very important. Very important. Let's not glorify things. Let's give credit to goodness.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
Let's give credit to kindness, love, true art. You know, I think if we do, we would not have had the problems in our world that we have today. Yeah. You know, someone told me the other day, it really upset me. I said, I'm doing this for this young family, this young boy I'm mentoring in Afghanistan, and this and this. And she said, well, thank God that's not our problem. And I said, but no, it is my problem. Because I can feel energies. And I know you can too, Lauren. I can feel when somewhere or someone is in pain. And I don't want to be turning my back on them. See, those things. need to be talked about.
Speaker #1
Well, the lie that we're separate from each other's pain is what causes most of the pain in the world.
Speaker #0
Exactly. You said that it's brilliant what you said. And it goes back to these social media things too. Social media is a platform that should be used as a privilege to say or do something that will create a positive impact, whether it's even a pain, it's a positive impact, a news, it creates awareness. It is not there to glorify and then knock down things. I don't think it is.
Speaker #1
Yeah.
Speaker #0
I don't think it should be. If it is. then we have lost what its essence should be for us.
Speaker #1
I agree. What can we do as individuals to help push pop culture back in a more humane direction? Is there anything we can do?
Speaker #0
I think a lot more people are emerging. People like yourself who are voicing it. I think that's what's going to make the difference. When someone listens to this, and whether it's two people or four people or 20 people, who will then also think about it the next time they go on social media. It takes time. It took us time to get here, and it will take us time to undo it. But we can if we choose to, if we choose to.
Speaker #1
I hope we all make the choice.
Speaker #0
Yes.
Speaker #1
Mitra, I love you.
Speaker #0
I love you so much. I love you for, as a very young person, for having so much wisdom. and sharing this wisdom on so many different platforms through your music, through your words, through your videos with people and podcasts, I think your footprints are beautifully etched. I really do. And I think it's a gift when someone young, especially comes to these points or starts questioning these things. I think it's wonderful. And I think the people who are listening are going to walk away from this with some resonance. It's going to stay with them.
Speaker #1
I think so too. Well, I know that. I know so because every time anyone walks away from you or a workshop you've done, which you do so many amazing workshops, and we definitely need to plug those at the end, but there's always a change. I've never had a conversation with you and not been changed after. And you are such a brilliant teacher, mentor, friend. You're my LA mother.
Speaker #0
Oh, I love you.
Speaker #1
And I just, I'm so grateful you exist. So thank you for your footprints and for leading the way.
Speaker #0
Thank you so much. And let's have a beautiful day.
Speaker #1
Okay.
Speaker #0
Okay. Love you. Love you.
Speaker #1
Thank you for listening. And thanks to my guest, Mitra Rabar. For more info on Mitra, you can follow her at voiceofmitra on Instagram. You can also find her music, meditations, and teaching on her YouTube channel, Mitra Ma. That's M-I-T-R-A-M-A 11. Mitra Ma 11. Thanks so much to Unleash associate producer Emily Shulmanovich. You can follow her at WeCan'tFindEmily. Thank you to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow Unleash on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag Mitra at Voice of Mitra so she can share it too. My wish for you this week is that you welcome whatever pain you're going through as part of your journey. Feel it. Share it. Let it be. And know that in the end, it will alchemize into strength. I love you and I believe in you. I'll talk with you next week.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

About Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso (A Creativity Podcast)

New episodes are out every Thursday - follow, rate and review wherever you get your podcasts :)

Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

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