Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Hey, creative, if you love the show and it has meant a lot to you, could you do me a favor? Would you share it with somebody that you care about? Your friend, your mom, your lover, whoever it is, because podcasts really are spread person to person. And I don't know about you, but the ultimate influencers in my life are my friends and family. So if all of you could share the podcast with just one person, it would make a massive difference. in our creative community, grow it, and we can all help support and lift each other up and get toward our dreams even faster. So please, if you have time today and you feel so compelled, share the show with a friend. Oh, also, if you have time, feel free to like pop on over to Apple and leave it a rating and review and a rating on Spotify. Okay. Love you. What's your relationship like with your family? What does family really mean to you and how does it influence your creativity? Our relationship to our family is one of the most complex ones we have. It can be as beautiful and loving as it can be complex and heavy. Today's guest is a fellow Italian-American woman who pulls from her experience in her family and her culture for inspiration and healing, and her story will help you do the same with yours. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, and multi-passionate creative, and this show is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity and pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. Today's guest is December Rose, aka Rosie. She's a singer-songwriter, Italian culture content creator, vocal coach, and founder of December Rose Studios. Some of Rosie's career highlights include studying at the Royal Conservatory of Music, winning a New Artist Spotlight Award from Blastro.com, and getting awarded New Music Weekly's Top 40 Artists of the Year on the same ballot as Billie Eilish and Shawn Mendes. I wanted to have Rosie on the show for many reasons. First, I feel like we're long-lost sisters. We're both singers, we both love our Italian heritage and culture, and we love taking our culture and family experiences and putting them into our music, our videos, everything we make. I love how open Rosie is about Well, everything. From how hard it is to stick it out as an artist when you don't feel successful, to calling out and putting a stop to unhealthy family dynamics. Rosie is just a really brave and authentic person and someone I'm excited to share with you. From today's chat, you'll learn why there are so many ways to make it as a musician, how to approach your artistry as a business, how to reparent yourself and heal your inner child, how to write about your family, and much more. Okay, now here she is. December Rose. Okay, Rosie, I already love you because I've been following you on Instagram and you're my fellow Italian sister and a singer-songwriter and we just have so much in common. So welcome to Unleashed. So happy to have you here.

• Speaker #1

  Thank you. And likewise, you're like the sister from another mister there on Instagram. Like you said, you're so bubbly and I feel like I know you just from your videos. So I'm stoked to finally meet you.

• Speaker #0

  Save, save. Okay. So we have to talk about the Italian thing. Both growing up Italian, both singers. I'm curious for you, because sometimes, you know, like there's support over it. Like I know for me personally, like I was always made to perform at the events. I was like the show pony. But then there's also fear around it because our families, a lot of them were immigrants, want us to have good, stable jobs. And so they're scared. So I'm super curious for you. How is creativity and having this big dream look? looked at and talked about in your house growing up?

• Speaker #1

  It was not a good thing. Kind of like you, you know, oh, like my kid does this and she sings and she plays piano and she's so cute and like wears these cute dresses. But then it got older and it was like, hey, mom, dad. Yeah, I think I really want to do this. I think my mom was kind of excited about it at first because, you know, you live vicariously through your kids, they always say. But my dad being an accountant, it was like, oh, hell no. My parents didn't immigrate to Canada so that their grandkid could just be a singer. Okay. this is highly unstable. You're going to be a bum on the street. What are you going to do? You're going to be broke. And I didn't understand as a teenager what that meant to hustle, like scrape together your coins to make sure your rent is paid. So I definitely got a reality check as an adult, but thankfully I grew up with the right mindset to just as much as you're going to be an artist, you have to be a businesswoman and just knowing how to like spread yourself thin over a couple of different things so that when one area is down, the other one's up and you're always working.

• Speaker #0

  So smart.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  So you kind of had a mixed bag. It was like, yeah, they were proud of you, but also like, what is she going to do? I'm scared for her.

• Speaker #1

  Very much. I think my dad still is too.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, for sure. My dad's a financial planner. So I feel like even more kinship with you now. I just think they don't. get it. I think that they just don't even understand how we're doing it or what it even means.

• Speaker #1

  Very much. He's come to understand that if I'm not going to be doing that, you know, I think we all have those crises every once in a while. It's like, you know what? This is really not working. I've been having a really bad like few months. I'm pulling out. I'm going to drop out. You know, you just want to throw in the towel. And then I had that just a month ago. And I don't know, I guess I was just I hadn't slept enough. And he's like, well, Rose, what else are you going to do? So I think now he kind of understands that it's like, if it's not this, what else is it going to be? Because I don't see you being happy in anything else. And I'm like, I know, what else is it going to be? Probably nothing. I'm going to sleep on this for a week and I'll be fine next week.

• Speaker #0

  I want to ask some questions about that. So first of all, like, what was it like to have your dad validate you in that way in that moment to say like, listen, yeah, this is really hard. And I'm terrified for you. But you have to do this because I see that's who you are. What did that feel like?

• Speaker #1

  It was. a butterfly moment. I guess you could say that it was nice to see that at least I'm seen, even if it's 20 years late, but I'm seen now and that I have his support to just continue and that he has my back in whatever capacity that looks like. If that means like, I need to borrow $100 or, hey, can you spot me for this and I'll pay you back later. I don't feel embarrassed to be in that low position and be like, hey, I need help right now or I'll get back on my feet soon. Or even just to bounce ideas off him. Like what else can I do from a business front? I consider myself a very generous person. And sometimes I overlook like my needs to survive in life. I want to make lessons affordable. I want to make studio coaching affordable. I want to do all these things that other people can benefit and feel like they have someone that really has their back too. But I overlook the cost of living sometimes. And I'm like, shoot, like things have gone up. I feel bad raising my prices. How am I going to make this all work? If sometimes he's that person and gave me that hard reality of, Rose, you're undercharging. or... like this doesn't make sense anymore. This worked like three years ago. It's time to go up.

• Speaker #0

  Right. That is so important. And I think this is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. My mentor said to me, you have to charge the people who can afford it so you can work with the people who can't, but you can't just like universally be devaluing yourself because you feel bad. Like you are a seasoned professional and I want to get into everything you've done in everything you do, but you deserve to be. To your point, making that coin. So you went through this kind of like dark night of the soul with music, which we all do. Like, I mean, I can't even tell you how many times I've like pounded the ground screaming, why God, do you even love me?

• Speaker #1

  Oh yeah. You gave me a talent to do what with it?

• Speaker #0

  To torture me? Because that was deeply uncool.

• Speaker #1

  Right.

• Speaker #0

  So how did you get through that? Like, what did that whole process look like for you? And how did you get to the other side?

• Speaker #1

  I wrestle with that thought still very much. Sometimes like when it's like real dark period of like, you know, quiet season or whatever, I still go there and, you know, I don't feel like I've reached the levels that I'd like yet, but I try to look at how I'm benefiting the people that are in my life. So especially with a lot of the students that I coach, I've never really had just like normal students come through my studio. It started off that way. And then when we start to really delve into why they're there, what inspires them to sing and I don't know, it always ends up being some like more traumatic event. some kind of trauma some kind of abuse some kind of something and they ended up in my studio and I've never paid for ads to have students so it's always been some word of mouth or I found your video or I wanted to learn from you and I'm like okay you needed to be here so I do believe that like God puts people in my studio that I need to help them in some way and so I guess that I felt a bit more peace to stick with it just seeing how I was actively involved in their life and helping them transform into a better place. And I guess I found purpose. in the middle of that. And I was like, okay, well, if I'm not personally artistically where I want to be yet, I'm still doing some pretty cool things in the lives of all these people that come through my spot. And I think that counts. If I needed to be somewhere else, I believe that I would be, you know, you hear these crazy stories that someone goes and studies finance, and then they're walking on the street, and somehow some casting agent picks them up, and they become an actor. I feel like you get redirected somewhere in life. when you're really on the wrong track. And I haven't really seen that shift happen in my life. So I'm like, okay, I think I'm in the right lane. Maybe I just need to stick with this a bit longer.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Get a bit more innovative with my approach or like diversifying. And somehow, somewhere, I'll end up where I need to be.

• Speaker #0

  A hundred percent. And I think that we're sold such a limiting idea of what success looks like in many different creative industries, but certainly in music. We're taught that success is like if you get picked up when you're 15 years old. and become a pop star overnight, that's success. And that's the one and only definition, especially as women. But through doing this show, I've learned there's so many different ways to have success as a musician. I had this woman on, Mary Gauchet. Have you ever heard of her? You should check her out. She didn't even get started. Okay. Until she was 35. She moved to Nashville at 35. She didn't write her first song till she was 30 moved to Nashville at 35 and didn't start making her full living from songwriting and singing until she was 40. And now as a Grammy nominated singer songwriter.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, that's wild.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, it is. But like we're taught such a limiting view of what success can look like. I also have a friend who like is constantly singing and writing music and like She's got tons of albums out, but she doesn't tour at all. She's actually not even trying to be an artist. Like she mostly writes for sync deals. Like there's just so many different ways to do it. And there's also like, it's not this limited timeframe of when we're teenagers.

• Speaker #1

  That's the thing too, right? Is, I mean, I don't know about you, but I grew up with the Spice Girls and like Britney Spears, right? And so I remember, like you said, exactly the same thing that if you're not kind of picked up somewhere between 16 and 20, you're expired. Okay. But like, if we look at the new wave of artists now, they're all older anyway. Because now it's just, it is that much harder to get noticed, but also because we're not really made into products anymore.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Now we're like starting to look at the human behind the mic. Like, why are we supporting some new celebrity? What do they stand for? What's in it for the listener? It's not just the good song. Now they want more. And I think that's cool. It does put a lot of power back in our hands as creatives, especially like unsigned creatives. But there is a lot more noise. So to really dig in and find that voice, what it is that you're really adding to people's lives. It's a process. That's going to be bloody long.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. What is it you're most yearning to say with your music? What is it that's on your heart and your mind right now the most?

• Speaker #1

  Okay. So I have a lot of stuff that's been in like the back catalog that's been coming out. And this is stuff that I wrote maybe like a year or two ago that was written and finished. So right now what I'm working on, which I haven't really talked about yet.

• Speaker #0

  Exclusive.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, very much. I'm actually starting to work on a gospel record precisely for the thing that you addressed before is like this whole conflict with like, I believe, but I have this issue with trusting him and everything. And it's always selective. And if I don't see the results that I want, then am I being selfish? Does getting what I want affect how much I believe in him?

• Speaker #0

  And when you say him, you mean God?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, yeah. With like all these nuances with the relationship of how do I just believe and be happy with what I have right now? and remove like these expectations that society has told me I should have or that I've created in my mind that I think should be success when really he's maybe laying out a life before me of so much purpose that I'm overlooking because I'm so obsessed over this like one thing.

• Speaker #0

  How do you do that?

• Speaker #1

  I'm trying to figure it out. And that's like what the whole gospel record right now is like starting to shape up to be like, like these questions and like these prayers or like showing up to church and like just sitting there and at some point not listening anymore. I'm tuning out in the middle of a service that started off interesting. And then I leave being like, what did I just learn? I know that I learned in the moment there was something good, but I tuned out and now I don't remember. And I feel like I'm right back where I started when I walked in. Yeah. So this kind of like struggle to always like find him in your life, but so distracted with so many things.

• Speaker #0

  It's scary to just believe because I struggle with wanting to control things, you know, and clutch my fate. And I'm not happy when I do that. But I also think I have a fear that if I let it go, something bad is going to happen or I'm not going to get my dream. But it's like if I actually had faith, I wouldn't have that fear and need to clutch.

• Speaker #1

  That's exactly how I feel. I do also like feel this need to control things, even if I'm not getting the outcomes that I want. But because I feel like, oh, well, if I do this, this, this, even though it hasn't worked, But I'm doing something. So I'm being proactive about it in my imagination. But nothing's transpired, but I'm moving. So it must mean that I'm busy, that I'm active, that I'm working towards my goal.

• Speaker #0

  Do you think this is something like, I mean, I know a lot of people have a lot of cultures experience this, but I've noticed this particularly with a lot of my Italian American friends. I know you're in Canada, but Italian in general, like people who are of this ethnic group in various countries. There is this like sense of like trying to control and anxiety, but then having this incredible faith. Do you feel like this was something that was passed down to you that you witnessed and that is now living out in you?

• Speaker #1

  I think so. Yeah. Both my mom and my grandmother, like being my mom's mom, I would say that they were very religious, but I think in their own way, there was a lot of like religious manipulation in there because of their own trauma stuff and how they were brought up. But I think that between this skewed... fear-based perspective of God and also their natural like way of needing to be like motherly and overly controlling and micromanaging everything I don't know they kind of fuse together and they don't work yeah so now that's like that's me as the product of like having these two sides of like, I know that God is supposed to be this like peaceful and like all loving, merciful spirit entity, a higher divine, whatever the word is. Yeah. And then this clashing side that I need to control when we need to just submit to him because he's going to deliver us from whatever is not good for us and not serving us. I've definitely inherited it. I think it's all learned.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, it's so hard. Do you write about your family and your music at all.

• Speaker #1

  very much yeah I fleshed out a lot of it in my album that I released in 2019 called raise your voice I had remade one of the songs on there called mama and that was obviously dedicated to my mom but also to just express and use it as a way to help her recognize the impacts of her mental health neglect on myself my sister and my dad and just what I was looking at from the outside I don't think she got the picture with it but that's fine

• Speaker #0

  Did you like present it to her and say like, hey, mom, this is about you.

• Speaker #1

  So I was signed to a label, I think it was like 2014. And I was there until about 2018. And the Mama song was on a record I released with the label. And when she first heard it, like she flipped. She was mad. I was still living with her at the time. And when she first heard it, she was really mad. Like, what is this that you're telling the world? You're making me sound like a monster. And it was like, not at all the case. But I think she knew. how she had been behaving and how she had been treating all of us and that we were hurt by it. But she didn't really want to start to like look at herself and try to fix that. It was more avoidance. And my song was triggering for her because it was like, oh, Rose is announcing to the world that I was a bad mom. And it's like, okay, but that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm just trying to say like that you were a pillar in this household. And by you abandoning yourself, the pillar of this house fell on us and into us. Yeah. I remade that song when I left the label and just released that independently on my next record. And I made that whole body of work, Raise Your Voice, about starting with mama, like the upbringing and all the traumas that we experienced afterwards and how it affected each of us. And then relationships that would reflect these same toxic tendencies and this constant cycle of destruction until finally the very end, which was Raise Your Voice, like finally finding my voice to speak up about things. And so now that I've fleshed out this, like, family record, I... have been working towards like this new Disney inspired one, which is to like reconnect with that childhood, reconnect with that like inner me, the young little five-year-old one that has to make up for time or feels like she has to. And just that like dare to dream again. And we're aging, but like, there's still so much to live for and like this urgency to really live. And so that's, I guess, where the rate of forever getting old comes from.

• Speaker #0

  I loved it. Oh my gosh, Rosie, there's so much to break down from what you just said. Thank you, first of all, for sharing it.

• Speaker #1

  No problem.

• Speaker #0

  I wonder if you would. be willing and I listened to so much of your music, but somehow I missed Mama. Would you be willing to share any of the lyrics from that even just the chorus? I'm so curious to know more about it.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, so that means starts off with like, a house is not a home to hell with it. The roof is on the ground to hell with it. It's true that all homes have cracks. But tell me why is mine so broke? And then the chorus is just Mama, why'd you have to go? Mama, why did you let go? Mama, you never saw us grow. And then I like lament about the Mama for a while. I you use the imagery of a house because for sure when she was more well she was strong and like had things together and she was my favorite person and it was like who do you want to be when you grow up it's like oh I want to be like mom like she's fine and she's so creative and she wasn't a trained singer or anything but she always loved singing and had these really cute Italian sayings and fluent in Italian I was like man my mom's like super cool but yeah like the trauma and depression stuff just took over and consumed her and she has like really become someone I don't know. I don't recognize her at all. And I know my mom's in there somewhere, but she hasn't wanted to come out. So yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Oh my gosh. Wow. We have so much in common. This is wild. I wrote a whole song about my mom called Running Away. And the lyrics are, you keep running away from yourself, you keep running away. And I don't know how to help you and the shadows that you face because it's the family business just to run away.

• Speaker #1

  Did you like... get her reaction out of that?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, you know, my mom is actually pretty cool about it. She's pretty self aware.

• Speaker #1

  Okay,

• Speaker #0

  I mean, I'm obsessed with my mom. And I have a very good relationship with her. But I think one of my greatest pains in life has been, I want my mom to be happy more than anything. And I think that's part of why I struggle with feeling happy sometimes or like feeling like I can achieve my dreams because I feel like my mom and I hate saying this because I don't want to hurt her, but gave up on herself in some way.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, I totally get that.

• Speaker #0

  And it's interesting because she always told me you can do anything you want to do. I believe in you. You're amazing. And still to this day is my greatest supporter. But there is something I think that happens in especially young women in a mother-daughter relationship where when you don't. Even if you're getting those words and that messaging and it is authentic, when you don't see that reflected in your mother's own life, it's really hard to believe that you can.

• Speaker #1

  Amen.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  I guess just before we started recording, you asked about like, do I want to have kids? And like, that's something that's still a distant thought, right? But it's something that very much ties in with what you just said in that I didn't grow up having an experience of really witnessing a healthy dynamic of being a mom and like someone really handling motherhood. while also not losing themselves in it. And I think that that scares me more than anything in the world is like, my fear of kids is stronger than the desire to have them for that very reason of like, how do you create another human, not lose yourself somehow in the process, and still be that role model for them of like, what you just said, like, you can go and do anything like I need to go and achieve my goals for me to be the testimony to you that it's possible.

• Speaker #0

  Right? I'm gonna say two things. If you don't want kids also like that's totally good. I know that's hard in our culture because everyone's like, I'm the baby. But like, it's also a totally legitimate thing to not want children. But if you do want them, I think there's two things. Number one, just being honest about what's going on. I think a lot of the fear and the passed down pain and the passed down trauma comes from this secrecy and comes from this pretending like everything is normal when it's not. If you're aware of your problems and you can say to your kids, listen. I love you guys. This is something mom has to deal with. But like, this is not your problem to handle. I'm handling it. I'm in therapy. We're good. I love you. And it's no reflection on you. If you can be honest in that way, then they won't pick it up. Kids pick things up like sponges because they see that you can't hold it. And then they feel like they have to do it, especially sensitive kids like us.

• Speaker #1

  Amen.

• Speaker #0

  Amen. Ave Maria. And I will say number two is you don't have to get everything done by the time you have your kid. And I will tell you, every single woman I've ever had on this show who has children has had her greatest success post-child. I just think the thing is, maybe what happened with both of our moms is they did give up on their dreams. Or for my mom, I think she pursued it a little bit, but then having me was maybe a greater dream for her. That's wonderful. But she has children books. She still wants to publish those. And so there's no reason she couldn't have kept doing that. while having me. And so I think just even your kids seeing you trying for the thing and doing the thing. And also the fact that like, this is not like an exaggeration. I've done over 200 episodes. Every single woman who's come on has had their greatest success post child is a testament to the fact that like, not only can it happen, it's actually the norm.

• Speaker #1

  Wow. This is encouraging. Yeah. I mean, there's still like no babies in the short future, but.

• Speaker #0

  It's interesting because you have these themes where you're like, I'm trying to figure out how to be an adult and be an artist, right? But what I think is happening for you and how you're stepping into this next level of adulthood is you're talking about reparenting yourself. And I think just taking that step and healing your inner child and healing your inner child wounds helps you get to a place where you're ready to even start thinking about, okay, how could I have an actual human baby now that I've parented the child inside of me?

• Speaker #1

  Right. Yeah, this is just like to share the story. I went to see an osteopath in April because I had gone to the gym a couple years ago, hurt my shoulder blade and my kneecap. And I wanted to go start working out again. And I was like, oh, but that pain's going to come back. So I step in her office and she starts, you know, finagling with all these body parts and whatever. And then she presses on the backside of my right ear. And I started getting these like visions and like flashes, not visions like you're hallucinating, but you know, like memory things or how. your body kind of just pieces together images off of what you're feeling. And one of them in this moment with this ear was that I saw this like five-year-old version of myself mad with the adult self. And she's like, you can't go have a kid because what's going to happen to me? She's like, you're going to leave me like everybody else over some other stupid kid. And she was mad, like really angry. And so I'm trying to negotiate with her in this vision, like giving her a hug and like, well, it's okay. Like we can do it together. I still need you. yeah but what about me and so then like the lady stopped pressing on my ear and started pressing on the other side so like the vision disappeared and I think I was destroyed for about like three weeks like thinking about this vision of oh that's why they terrify me just that aha moment of like oh well I have to parent myself first before I can even go there and thought because like just the idea like I teach kids all the time but it's one thing when you go to like a family event they're like oh well you're at the age now when are you gonna have a a kid and make us grandbabies or something. And you're like, well, like, forget it. Like, I'm happy to teach your kid and then you take them home.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, that's so profound.

• Speaker #1

  crazy aha moment and so I've been trying to journal on that yeah just to reflect on it and to take the time to do activities and to face fears like you know what I wouldn't have gone on hiking at this park I was too afraid to go hiking okay I'm just gonna go hiking now do some like little things that I otherwise wouldn't have thought of doing just because yeah

• Speaker #0

  I feel like you're on the right track yeah I hope so

• Speaker #1

  I really do don't we all

• Speaker #0

  We'll trust it for now, but in five minutes, we're going to start trying to control it.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  I want to ask you, because we both spoke about secrecy, I do think that this is such an issue in our culture, is secrecy, protect the family, don't tell the family secrets, even when it's something that's eating you alive inside. How has that been for you? And why do you think this is?

• Speaker #1

  I think at least hearing this from my grandmother, it was this image, like you're coming to Canada from Italy or you're coming to America.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. And my grandma was raised in Canada, by the way, too. She grew up in Windsor, which is so crazy.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, it's like right next door. Yeah. Yeah. Like my grandmother came here and it was this whole image uphold. I made it out of Italy. I'm in the land of white picket fence and opportunity. But then when she got here, she started experiencing domestic violence, so on and so forth, and then raised my mom and her brother in that. And then that unfolded. and then my mom had me and so it was very protective of like this is shameful. Like she experienced domestic violence. I guess she made the wrong choice. She has to lie about Canada to her family back home because they would be worried and God knows what would happen. But it didn't look like a success story if she was honest. So with my mom experiencing trauma later on, and then on account of that, my sister and myself as well, then it was like, oh, well, people are going to think she's crazy. So it was this image of mental health. We still weren't talking about this. And that makes you crazy to have a problem so keep that hush and so i guess like thankfully for many reasons growing up i didn't actually have a lot of italian friends so i just saw like how the dynamics in other cultures very early and i was like well it's okay for them to talk about it like why is it bad if i talk about it so i could start asking myself those questions and if i didn't see anything wrong with how they did it then there wasn't anything wrong with it i was able to like have that boundary for myself like no i don't see anything wrong with it this must not be wrong But later on, I still like felt uneasy talking about it because I was living there and so on and so forth. But finally, college and university is when I started getting really sick. I had like a series of health problems like PCOS and then these crazy hormone swings and nonstop menstruation for six months and then anemia. I had like crazy body wide acne and this bloating that was insane and everything was fine. My blood tests are always fine. You know how it is like you show up at the doctor's office. Oh, well, you're just like a hypochondriac because you're always saying that you feel sick and crippling anxiety that like. I felt like I had ants like crawling on my skin. It was just a constant itch for this anxiety that I had. Your blood tests are fine. You're a little anemic. Just take some iron pills and you'll be okay. Okay. But I am clearly not okay. And so that's when I started to turn to the holistic world and got introduced to naturopathy and homeopathy and NAIT and all these like other ways of approaching health. And then they would always ask these very intricate questions, about like, how do you feel? What do you mean? How do I feel? I feel like shit right now. Like, what do you mean? But all these questions about like imagery. Okay, well, if you could describe the physical sensations, what do they look like? And so this like kind of opened up a whole new part of my brain.

• Speaker #0

  And how old were you when this was happening?

• Speaker #1

  Probably like 21.

• Speaker #0

  Wow.

• Speaker #1

  And opened up this whole new part of my brain to seeing health differently. And then finally, the guy that like really did a big number on my health was this somatic hypnotherapist that I went to go see like four years ago. I walked into his office with excruciating rib pain. I had had three bronchitis back to back over six months. I don't know if this was considered a bruised rib or dislocated rib, but I remember I felt them pop.

• Speaker #0

  While you were hypnotized?

• Speaker #1

  No, this is like before I stepped into his office. I had been coughing for weeks, holding myself. And in that time is when I felt these pops in my ribs and it was excruciating because I couldn't sing. I could barely lie down. I couldn't move. And so I go into his office like completely desperate. And I'm like, look. I don't know what's wrong with me, but there's something wrong. And in his office, like under the hypnosis is where I saw like all this stuff I had neglected, like mommy issues and this crying that I had to do. And I literally wept in his office for three hours. But I left and my rib cage pain was gone. And I just cried, It was like insanity. I didn't know I had that much water in my body. And it was all these memories that I had forgotten about, like things that I guess we cover up to cope, right? to get by we're like okay well we can't talk about this let's compartmentalize it somewhere else i don't know how to deal with it so i'll store it away for now

• Speaker #0

  And all these coping things that I had been doing over 20 years, 25 years, that my body couldn't take anymore. And so my anxiety left, my rib pain left.

• Speaker #1

  Your anxiety left?

• Speaker #0

  I never felt so high.

• Speaker #1

  For how long or forever are you still never anxious?

• Speaker #0

  No, like I still get anxious, but never to the same level. So it's kind of like it's regulated.

• Speaker #1

  What is this guy's name and how do we get like a worldwide appointment with him?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, his name was Alex Priyala, and he was f***ed. freaking amazing. I can't ever like really say thank you enough. He like, yeah, he gave me an earful. I walked in like complaining about my ribs and he's like, did you come here to complain or did you come here to heal? If you're going to be here to complain, like get out of my office. And like within 10 minutes, like scared of him. He was intense, but he did me a favor to be that hard on me. And it just like, it changed my perspective so many things. And so now, I mean, to be fair, it's made me obsessed in another way that now every time I feel unwell, I'm like, What's my body trying to tell me?

• Speaker #1

  It's interesting. You're really ahead of your time because I feel like the past six months to a year, everybody's talking about this. At least everybody who is like kind of in the woo-woo world or in this like podcasting space. I'm hearing people talk about it a lot where it's like, what is your body's intelligence? Like, okay, you have a stomach pain. It's not just a stomach pain. What's actually going on? Why does your stomach hurt? So you were, I mean, four years ago, no one was talking about this stuff.

• Speaker #0

  Oh yeah. Like I came home and I told.

• Speaker #1

  my uncle about it who was unwell with his own stuff and he's just like you're into voodoo everything is voodoo and witchcraft so like all right it's hilarious it was pretty great that's a long-winded answer that was a great answer but it's true it's like i think it's unfortunate because the thing that would actually release the shame is sharing the story but so many people don't feel they're able to do that and so then it just keeps getting passed down It's amazing because, you know, you were talking about like, I have these dreams and I want to achieve them. And I used to only think about, you know how people talk about like, you always want to do better than the generation before you. I used to only think about that in regard to like money. Okay, I won't be successful until I create more wealth for the next generation than my dad did. But I realized actually like when my grandma got sick and I was like bringing the whole family together and like. basically acting like the United Nations and like putting together the hospice and explaining one person to another and like healing the fights that I'm like, you know, there's so much more than one way to achieve success. And to me, you've already achieved next generation success by facing yourself and facing your family's longstanding issues.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, that's really sweet.

• Speaker #1

  It's true. Like you were the only one that was brave enough to step out and say not anymore. It stops here. It ends with me.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. I mean, my body was failing me. It didn't give me a lot of choice, but I'm glad I did it. And I'm glad that I had, you know, many multicultural friends that I could learn from just seeing that there were some things that were like not on the table, like unheard of things that happen in their houses. You don't hit your kids. You don't involve them in issues between you and your husband. Like don't involve your kids in these things. But for me, it was just normal. And even now, sometimes, like, with some of my friends, we talk about, like, these little things that we do. And I'll be like, oh, yeah, like, I just leave the bathroom door open. They'll be like, oh, my God, boundaries. Like, why are you doing that? I'm like, well, there was no one around on the floor. Like, who cares? But these little things that you pick up from your living space that you wouldn't have thought were a problem.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Until someone mirrors it back to you. The bathroom door needs to be closed.

• Speaker #1

  It is fascinating. And every family has its own little culture too. So like to get a reality check is always wild. Okay. So then tell me how is this pouring into, I know you said now you're like healing your inner child through your music. Like you've got this song out forever getting old. I love this song. I love the perspective. I mean, I love it because it's like such an interesting way to say you only live once, like you're forever getting old. It's just such a different way. Tell me why you wanted to call that piece out.

• Speaker #0

  Sure. So in 2018, my family and I went to Disney as a way to try to mend the relationship, I guess. And it was my mom's dream to like have this family trip there. So we did. This was the same year that I moved out with my dad. And again, this is our way of repairing it, right? So we end up in Disney and I am completely floored with the Animal Kingdom ride. Flight of Passage. There we go. It was a virtual reality ride. I bawled my eyes out that ride. It was just so beautiful. I was overtaken by it. And that inspired the whole record. So I came back, started working on this instrumental piece with all these like made up words and like sounds. And then wrote this one, Forever Getting Old, a little while later when I met Oliver Charles, who's one of the co-writers. And we were talking about this Disney trip and just this like need to reconnect with that imagination that we had as children, that anything was possible. Like what was our wildest idea and wildest dream? And we put together this instrumental of all these like Disney sounds, motivational kind of production. And then the lyrics kind of started a bit later where it was like, okay, well, we can't go back and be that 10 year old self, even if we'd really like to. So what would we do if we were 10? And it was like, okay, let's dance around a bonfire in like these pretty dresses. So that's where kind of like some of the imagery came and just the general kind of feeling about it. And yeah, we're still aging, but if we live now, then maybe now is all we need.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And you talked about when we first got on, you know, about like growing up and how to combine that with being an artist.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Speak on that. Where's your head at right now?

• Speaker #0

  It's kind of hard because I feel like The business side sometimes takes over so hard that I'm like, I'm still an adult, like still have to survive, still have to be strategic and like money smart. But like the creative side of myself doesn't want to think about that. So when I think too much on like, how can I level up to make sure I'm more, you know, financially independent or more stable? Then it's like I'm killing that creative side because it's like a mechanical shift. It gets like a little stuck sometimes or I get so... overwhelmed and heart heavy over like, yeah, like adulting that then the little kids like, meh, I don't want to come out and play right now.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. Create that space and time to play that I find hard.

• Speaker #1

  Do you actually create time on the calendar? Like how are you finding the time to play?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. So I have not been the best at that the last couple of months, but I do try to make the most effort to put in at least one day a week of, you know, a collaboration time. Okay. you know just reach out to some new artists and let's try and write but it doesn't always work out or sometimes like the projects don't work lately I was trying to like get back to myself of like what is it that I want to talk about rather than trying to network with 100 different artists that don't come through you know how it is like yeah artist land

• Speaker #1

  I mean listen I live in LA it's like the most unreliable people in the world I can imagine I can imagine yeah one thing that I heard from someone that I'm yet to do, but I want to do is like. putting literal time on the calendar for yourself. Even if you have nothing to do, like if someone asks you if you're busy, you're like, yeah, actually I am. And maybe it's just an hour, three times a week where you put like creative time on the calendar and you just stick to that and keep your commitment to yourself as if it's another person, which I think is the hardest thing to do. But yeah, you deserve that. And you have such beautiful music. I was floored.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, thank you.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. I wanted to have you on because I liked you as a person. And I hadn't even heard your music before I asked you on. And then when I was listening, I'm like, oh, my God, yes, we can like sink into this. Wait, so tell me because the way I found you was you found my podcast I did with Lee Esposito about being Italian and like Italian culture and creativity. And then I wanted to follow you because of all your incredible content on Italian culture. So tell me how you started doing that and how that started taking off.

• Speaker #0

  Full story made short. So I... was pretty desperate about music stuff i was like man i keep making all this tick tock content nothing's working i don't know how to be more authentic if i'm talking about the things that matter to me at the time i was like you know really kind of zoning in on the whole like mental health and like mommy issues i'm like damn but some days i'm really like not that sad and i would rather not have to talk about it until i started working with this coach and he said like rose like you're just trying too hard man like you really gotta just be yourself it's like ew Like, what does that mean? Yeah. So. At some point, which was around July last year, I was my rock bottom for content. And I found this question on TikTok that said, like, what does your name mean? And I explained, like, my full Italian name, which was Rosa Maria La Posta. And I was like, oh, yeah, like, blah, blah, whatever. And I made a joke. It blew up. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me, man. But I started responding to comments from that video. And it was all, like, talent-related content. And so at the end of the month, like, I had had several viral videos of just talking about cultural stuff. And I'm like... oh man like this nothing to do with music but i was having a lot of fun and i realized that a lot of people were connecting over like oh i remember my nonna i remember this i remember that oh i miss my mom and i was building this community of people that all like reflected back to this time that it was a beautiful time i remember i have like a lot of really great memories from these italian parties and like you know silly things our grandparents did and at that point i realized like okay i'm talking to my friends even though i don't know these people but they're still my friends and They're invested in what I'm saying. I'm bringing some kind of nostalgia or some kind of value to their life every day with these videos. And I'm enjoying talking to them. So through doing that, I just started to build these relationships with people online. And I realized that that was like way more important than just trying to market my single all the time. And like hustling all this content that nobody cares about because why should they?

• Speaker #1

  Well, and that you weren't enjoying doing. It wasn't like it felt like, oh, yes, like that feeling when you write a song. You're trying to figure out like how do I cram my song into this like weird concept so that I can get somebody to care about it? It's interesting because you described something like when the video took off, which is probably what you've been wanting, like a viral video, right? When it took off, you're like, oh, not like that, though.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, exactly.

• Speaker #1

  I so relate because like when I do something stupid and funny and it takes off, I'm like, that sucks because I didn't even try in that. And that's not fair because the thing I tried and didn't get any views. But it's like, you know, maybe we could just be like grateful we got the views and just know that we're reaching more people that way and that that's more eyes and ears to care about us as a person, which is what's going to make someone care about your music anyway.

• Speaker #0

  That ended up being like the long game strategy that I was like, you know, I just need to keep building these relationships with people. Keep delivering. good content that makes them feel like they're understood right and then they're seeing that also being responsive right because like that was something that was really cool about you is that one of my friends had sent me your podcast then I listened to it and I was like okay it's just a shot in the dark I'll comment but like maybe she won't even see my message but you responded and like that was something that counted for me too just like extra elevated respect because it's easy to get comments flushed away or dms that get lost and that happens to all of us but you actually responded and i was like oh my god like so good she responded what like so i thought that was really cool and so i try to make an effort of doing that too you know even if it's not every single time but when they comment yeah i want to respond i want them to know that their comment matters that their engagement matters their message got to me i think all that goes a long way what's your advice to someone who's trying to build a community oh that is a good question i think you need to genuinely care about having one. If your end goal is like... oh, I just want them to go and listen to my music, or I just want them to go and buy this merch. I think that it's going to always translate in what you're making. So you need to have like some actual care for these people that are going to be influenced in some capacity by what you're saying. To treat it like your family, as you would show up at a large dinner party or a barbecue, and talk to them as you would to them, with respect, with kindness, with love, with insight, advice. yeah, to really like nurture and foster those relationships like they depended on you.

• Speaker #1

  That's beautiful advice. I kind of think of it this way. When you have a community online, it's like you're inviting people into your home. I just think how beautiful like they wanted to come over.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  Like the least I can do is give them a glass of lemonade. Jesus.

• Speaker #0

  Right. Yeah.

• Speaker #1

  How are they converting to this song? Like, are they going and listening and giving you feedback? What has that been like?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, I've definitely seen a growth in my listening since, you know, all this stuff took off. But it's not the numbers that would justify like, oh, you must be a legit artist, right? Like, it's not cracking like tens of thousands of listeners per month, but it's some growth and more engagement than I've had before. But also in general, just more opportunities to be present in the community. I mean, at the moment, like I have this gig that I'm the face of the gelato in Montreal that I'm. going around to all these like little gelato shops to like report on the ice cream and talk about it and promote local businesses and like ask me last year if that was ever going to be a thing and I would have said hell no yeah I couldn't fathom that but you know it's opened up a door to that and some more like emceeing opportunities and just to be social and to be the face of different things in the city yeah and by consequence people are like oh she's also a singer oh my don't I had no idea she was doing all this stuff it's just fun to be doing all these new things I hope along the way yeah most people will discover the music because that's obviously something that I hold close to heart.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, that's you. They will. It's just a matter of timing. What is the benefit of walking through open doors?

• Speaker #0

  Well, for me personally, I think that it helps me remove like the performance anxiety. I get to step away from like, this is not a performance because I've already been welcomed. So I can just be. But when I'm trying to enter the doors and I feel like I have to perform well, they have to like me. I have to show them that I'm good enough, whatever my insecurities at that time. But whatever it is, I have to be great. When the door is already open, I walk through. They already know who I am. Like I've already been well received. And by just being, I'm already going to do a better job.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, that's beautiful. And something I think, I mean, it's something I've struggled with a lot. I don't know about you, but like putting my self-worth into my career.

• Speaker #0

  A hundred percent.

• Speaker #1

  How are you doing with that? And how are you working on knowing that who you are is the best thing about you?

• Speaker #0

  actually when the Italian content went viral, I think that that shifted something in my brain for me. Huge. It was very healing for me to have that just happen because it was like, oh, wait a minute. I am more than just my music. I am still a person and I'm still fun to be around and I still offer value and I still do all these like nice things for people with love and compassion that has nothing to do with my creative spirit of these other things that I like. I guess that just like was a validation for me to realize like that doesn't tell me that I'm worth being around. It doesn't mean that that's my only way to be successful or my only way to find fulfillment or to have fun or to still use my creativity. Now, obviously, that's not going to be the case for everybody. It's not having a viral video that necessarily does that. But I think it's just to realize all the good characteristics and traits and talents that you have and how do these things really work together and how they're not separate things or not. Oh, I only do this. No, well, I do or I'm good at all these things and all these things work together for, let's say, this like totality of who you are.

• Speaker #1

  I loved everything you just said. But what I found particularly beautiful from what you just said is as... artists, we're always fighting to get our work seen, to be validated by our work. But what I love is that you found this wild success in who you are. Like it wasn't about your work. Like all you had to do was be. And people were like, yes, this is what we've been waiting for. And how much more validating could it be that you as a human are worthy when you showed up and were yourself and people were like, yes, we want more of that.

• Speaker #0

  I've never felt more free. And I say that like really honestly, because I did feel like all this pressure to show up as a musician and like, how are musicians going to see me? And to be fair, like, yeah, there have been musicians and other like music opportunities that have flat out turned me down because now I'm a content creator.

• Speaker #1

  Are you serious? What losers?

• Speaker #0

  But you're not serious about your music because now you're making like silly Italian content. And like, there's always going to be that pride thing, right? That, oh, you're not one of us anymore. you I feel so free that I show up on camera and I just talk about something related to my life. It's resonating with people and then they're propelling my career by itself. I think like, how cool is that? That you don't have to try, you just be and that's good enough.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah.

• Speaker #0

  That was a very powerful realization. And now it's just to continue to scale and continue to grow, continue to offer value and to learn.

• Speaker #1

  So I've. Two more questions for you. One of the main tenets of the show is to help people love, trust, and know themselves enough to pursue whatever it is that's on their heart. So I'm curious, how are you doing that right now? How are you working on self-love? And what's your advice for other people who are also on a self-love journey?

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, what I'm doing right now is I'm trying to remind myself that if I had picked anything else in life, would I have wanted to stick by it with the same tenacity that I have with music? And the answer is no. So could I have been good at other things? Yeah, probably. Could I have like been successful in something else? Sure, maybe. But music always felt like something I needed to do. And that was never a question. But how to pursue it is I think that I have to feel purposeful and fulfilled in whatever it is that I'm doing. If I'm not, then I don't think that that's what I'm meant to do in life. And I think that reminding myself of that has been helpful to just stay committed to the journey so that I don't start second guessing everything. that I'm doing during the tough patches because sure, I could go get a nine to five that maybe pays pretty okay. But I might rather have like the crazy feast or famine of the music stuff, knowing that I'm really doing good work for not just myself, but society and people and people that walk through my studio.

• Speaker #1

  Right.

• Speaker #0

  I think it's really just to remind yourself that I believe this anyway, that each of us came to this earth with like some kind of purpose. And if you're still on your journey of trying to find what your purpose is, I think that you need to listen to that like little kid in you. What do they want to do like right now? Is it to go and do like some nature walk? Is it to travel? Is it to write that book or publish that book or just show up on camera and share your story? I don't know. But like whatever you feel is like nagging at you to be done that you've been procrastinating on, I think that that's where your inner self is shining a light on what needs to be done and what lane you need to drive in.

• Speaker #1

  Beautiful advice. And my final question has to do with little Rosie. I believe creativity is deeply connected to the inner child. And I love that you're on this journey to heal her and be with her and mother her. And so I'm wondering if you, you now, and that younger version of yourself were standing in the same room looking at each other, what would you say to her today and why?

• Speaker #0

  I would say that she is. Pretty amazing kid with a lot of ideas, a lot of energy, and that she is fearless. But since she didn't feel that she was that way. I'm holding her hand until we both see it that we're happy with where we are.

• Speaker #1

  And what do you think she would say to you and why?

• Speaker #0

  Let's go on an adventure.

• Speaker #1

  So beautiful. Well, I think you are on an adventure.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah, definitely. Let's go.

• Speaker #1

  Let's keep going, little one. Rosie, I adore you. I feel like we have to like talk 15 more times and maybe like have a Zoom or we drink some wine and cry together.

• Speaker #0

  Very much. I would love that.

• Speaker #1

  You're so amazing. Everybody go stream her music, follow her on Spotify, tell your friends about her, follow her on all the social platforms. You're a delightful human being and I adore you. Thank you for being who you are in the world and for sharing your gifts.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, and likewise. Thank you. This has been such a pleasure. And anytime you want that wine, I'm down. Okay.

• Speaker #1

  I'm serious. Let's do that. Let's do it soon. Oh, you're awesome.

• Speaker #0

  Thanks. You too.

• Speaker #1

  Thank you for listening. And thanks to my guest, December Rose. For more info on Rosie, follow her at December Rose Music. Check out her single, Forever Getting Old. wherever you get your music, and visit her website, DecemberRoseMusic.com, to find more of her music and videos. Thanks to Rachel Fulton for helping edit this episode. Follow her at Rachel M. Fulton. Thanks to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me, at Lauren LaGrasso, and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and And I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag the guests at December Rose Music so they can share as well. My wish for you this week is that you can call out and start to heal long-standing familial dysfunction, trauma, and pain. Big ask, I know. But it really can end with us. And when we start to heal, it heals all the way up and down the bloodline. You are the one you've been waiting for. And you can step out of line and create a new story for you and your family. I love you and I believe in you. Talk with you next week.