- Speaker #0
Are you on a journey to self-actualization? Are you looking for tools to build self-love, self-trust, and self-knowledge, and ultimately gain true faith in yourself and your path? Then you're in for an enlightening treat. Hello. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm an award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, and multi-passionate creative. This show sits at the intersection of creativity, mental health, self-development, and spirituality, and it is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity and pursue whatever it is that's in your heart. Today, one of your favorite guests and my favorite people in the world is back for another episode. That's right, it's Mitra Rabbar. The last time Mitra was on, she talked about Chinese astrology and you loved it. And this time, she's here to talk about her new book, The 11 Pillars of Self-Realization, Your Roadmap to Inner Peace. Mitra is a healer, intuitive, singer, author, humanitarian, and spiritual teacher. She's worked with people such as Jennifer Aniston, Giselle BĂĽndchen, Sheryl Crow, Courtney Cox, and me. Mitra is a dear friend and has been a spiritual advisor to me since 2016. Today, she is going to share tools to help you have more faith in yourself and life, embrace the power of vulnerability, finally surrender and trust the universe, and most importantly, to forgive yourself and embrace self-compassion. Okay, now here she is, Mitra Rabar. My love, my Mitra, my teacher, my guide, my heart. I'm so happy to be sitting down with you again today on Unleash Your Inner Creative.
- Speaker #1
Oh my God, what can I say to that greeting? It just like, ooh, washed into me, washed out of me, just surrounding everywhere is love and joy. I love talking to you. You are one of my favorite people who has a platform that can really give voice to so much. And I love you dearly, immensely proud of you. And I'm so honored and happy to be here today. I've done this for a few years and every time it's magical.
- Speaker #0
It really is. It really, really is. And I always, I was telling you, I just trust our conversations. I trust the flow. And... So much to get to when it comes to trust. But before we do, I want to dive into this amazing book that you've written, that you're releasing during your special season, during cancer season. Tell me about this idea, how it came to you and how it's now coming out into the world.
- Speaker #1
You know, this is my second book that I'm publishing. I've written a lot, like, you know, and my computer is full of writings, but this is the second published book. Many, many years ago, when I was working on my first book, Miraculous Silence, believe it or not, these two books were head to head. There were the prayers of Miraculous Silence. There were all these writings about a book that I knew was important to write. But I didn't really, I hadn't zoomed in. I knew the general stuff. So I had all these different writings on faith, on patience, on everything. Until about four years ago, I said, oh. This is the 11 pillars and their sub pillars. And this is my life's work of 40 years, 40 years of professional service. I'm not talking about the years before, like as a young girl, but for 40 years being a guide, being a teacher and gaining this insight from the students and clients and the thousands of people that have come to me and shared their stories with me. And I paid attention and it awakened feelings in me. And then that knowledge and awakening became my wisdom. So this 40 years is my life's work of gaining wisdom through all the people that basically walked into my space. So thank you to those people else this book would not have been. The conception of it truly was many years ago. Zooming in was four years ago, so now the gestation was really long. Very long gestation, because so much happened in this for you. You know, when you write a creative, like when you write a song, you have a notion in your head. But then when you sing it, after a few times, the song takes a life of its own, right? And then when you record it, it changes more. And then at the end, you say, oh, my gosh. This song became this. It's like the caterpillar that becomes the butterfly. So when I wrote this book, it was that caterpillar. I knew. But then in that four-year period, my mom had a decline. My mom transitioned. In her transition, I awakened and I found the joy and love of her being within me, the liberation of my soul feeling, wow, my mom is forever with me. And there was no more than that. How do I say that? Pain that brings you down. But then I say every fall is the rise. From the fall was the beautiful awakening and rise. And then the book found a parallel in the teachings as I was writing. I found myself finding another voice of a young guy called Abu. I call him my son. And Abu then became the magic for me, the magical component. I'm doing the teachings. I'm talking about the stories. I'm talking about affirmations. I'm talking about prayers. I'm talking about tools and exercises. And then it's Abu.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. So for people who haven't read the book yet, I think we need to describe this. It's really magical because Mitra hops between, but it's somehow still cohesive genres. If I'm understanding this correctly, the way I read it was there is this either I'm mythical or channeled character of Abu, who's searching for the 11 pillars of self-realization. And each chapter opens with his journey to finding another pillar. And then it goes into Mitra's voice, sharing more and bringing us into how we can practically in our lives embrace and start to integrate that pillar. So tell me how that started happening. How did you bring those worlds together?
- Speaker #1
Well, Abu is each one of us. Oh. Abu is the seeker. We are the seeker, right? We're always in search. But, you know, we're in search of a deeper meaning, right? A deeper peace, a deeper joy. And we think it's out there. And it's not. So the pillars are internal pillars. But in Abu's case, he finds them magically on the external world, which are, you know, nature elements and stuff. But then those go deeper. And then when the teachings come out, we see, okay, what is faith? What is vulnerability? What does it mean? What do you have to do? So in Abu, I see myself. I see you. I see every person who wants to seek their truth, who wants to find their way. And the 11 pillars is that it's called the subtitles, your roadmap to inner peace. It is that roadmap. externally we think okay i have to have a job i love right i have to have my love my heart love i have to have my friends so those are external pillars but the thing with the external pillars they can be fleeting because their physical world so even the ones we love to death like my mother physically she's not present today but what she left behind which is love which is internal is within me So the 11 pillars is on the things in life which are within us that never leave us. And we work on those and we embrace those and we come to the truth of who we are, how we choose. Like, you know, most of us choose from fear or from pressures or from what we think we should or what we think we can't. Where the 11 pillars is no. You already are. You already are that faith. You already are that patience. You already are that compassion. You already are love, but maybe you forgot about it. So let's help you get there again.
- Speaker #0
Why 11 pillars?
- Speaker #1
So when I was writing them down, first of all, 11 is a very sacred number in a lot of philosophies and world religions. Numerology, it's a master number. So when I came to write the 11 pillars, there were, I didn't think 11, but then when I wrote, there were 11. But then there were some that had sub-pillars. For example, under love, we have kindness, we have compassion. Under faith, we have belief, we have trust. But the main pillars, I felt like, okay, as the sages and prophets and philosophers before me, all talked always about 11 and 11 things and 11 being a holy number. 11 it is.
- Speaker #0
It's such a special number to me because my grandparents got married on 11-11. Timmy, my love is born on 7-11. And I just thought of this, I didn't even realize it, but I'm born on 2-2, which divided by two is 11. So it's been a special number in my life, and for sure one of great meaning. So I was happy to see that.
- Speaker #1
11 also, imagine a house, the sanctuary of a house, two pillars, together they're 11. Two parts of our body, 11, 1-1-11.
- Speaker #0
I would love to jump into this pillar of faith, how to have more faith. You chose this as the first pillar. Why is faith the foundation to all?
- Speaker #1
First of all, I want to say this, although there are 11 pillars, a lot of them are interchangeable, right? Like someone would say, oh, you know, I went from the second pillar to the sixth and then from the sixth to the third. That's fine. But there is something that holds up the sanctuary. For example, if you have patience, which is one of the pillars, okay? If you have service, which is one of the pillars. If you have vulnerability, which is one of the pillars. But the faith pillar is not there. Then that trust and belief in what is and what you are is lacking. You are born as a believer. And I'm here, I'm not talking about anything religious. This is a universal book. You are born as a believer. You believe when you come into this world. You know how I would say that? When a child looks at a flower, the wonder of belief, the wonder of belief of the night star, that's belief. The trust is that when we're kids, we have the trust, right? When we're babies, we have the trust. We have the trust we will be held, most of us. We have the trust we will be fed. Most of us. So the trust is there. And then as we get older, someone lies to us, trust gets tarnished. A little bit longer, someone breaks our heart, trust gets tarnished. Our parents divorce, trust gets tarnished. And then we come all of a sudden, I kind of don't trust love. I kind of don't trust anyone. But then that is subconsciously saying, I don't trust myself. I don't feel I am. in a way worthy. So faith is huge because faith is not only about believing in something that is beyond us. There is whatever you want to call them. The Native Americans may call it the great unseen, which I've used a lot in my book. The Rumi people may call it the beloved. Someone may call it God. Someone may call it the universe. Someone may call it nature, but there is something. But when you have faith... Develop faith is by understanding that you are part of this. You are not separate from this. And this is not here to punish you, hate you, or kick you. This is here, and it depends on how you walk through this journey. The path we're here on, we're all here breathing, right? And then one day we're not physically breathing. So. That is given to all of us. But how this walks through and how faith is integral in every day, every moment. You have faith right now that you can do this podcast. That's why you're doing it. And each time you do it, each year you do it, the faith that you are capable of this and other things becomes greater within you. But if you didn't have faith, you would constantly... undermine your own ability, your own light. You would dim your own light.
- Speaker #0
The part about faith in the book really resonated with me. I felt it deeply. And then it got to the section about trust. And here's how I feel about my own journey. I've never for even one day of my life doubted God's existence. That has always been clear to me. I have felt it in my heart and soul since I was a little girl. It's never even flickered. I have, however, lacked trust that God wanted good things for me at certain times, that God believed in me even. Like there have been times when I've thrown myself on the ground crying at disappointment saying, do you even love me? How can we have such deep faith but lack trust in that faith?
- Speaker #1
We have to understand this. This is really... What you pointed out is, I think, very common, and we've all felt that in different ways. The universe is not here to give you what you want. It gives you what you need. What you are given, you are given. What you're not given, it's not your time for it to be given to you. But as humans, we want to push that. No, I'm ready. I know I'm ready. I'm ready. No, no, no. What does that mean? Well, maybe if you got what you thought you wanted, it would have actually derailed you. Maybe it would have taken you somewhere that you said, oh, I wish I had never asked for this. So that trust is that trusting that what I've been given. is what is needed by my soul now. And if what I want is not given to me, it's either not the time or there's some more wonderful, greater plan that is going to blow my mind, but I can't see it. Because see, we can't see our perceptions as imaginative as we are. They're just this. They're not this. I think we say, God, why didn't you give me this? Why I want this? I want this. But I think, Everything we don't have is also the blessing.
- Speaker #0
Yes.
- Speaker #1
Everything you don't have is the blessing.
- Speaker #0
In the past year, I've had tremendous growth in this area, which literally, thank God, because this has been one of the hardest dynamics and trapeze strings to walk in my entire life, to have this deep faith, but then to continuously throw myself on the ground crying over this lack of trust. And this past year, I had this thought, what if the reason why I've had a longer path in many ways and haven't gotten a lot of the things I wanted was actually not because God didn't love me enough, but because God loves me so much that they want me to get these dreams from a place that is whole, from a place that is standing on a platform of self-love versus trying to seek some sort of validation out in the world. And I really believe that. And since I've had this genuine belief in that, funny enough, life has been unfolding to me in these beautiful and miraculous ways and in these ways that are growing that they never had before and in these ways of this outward recognition. And suddenly it's not that it doesn't matter. I'm like grateful for it and I love it, but it doesn't feel like, oh, my God, I needed this. Can this be understood by a more youthful? person or does it take wisdom to finally understand this?
- Speaker #1
There are those young souls who are very wise and they've been born with a wisdom, you know, beyond their years. But usually it takes a little bit life behind you. But I want to tell you this, two things that's very important. We have to become seasoned to be able to then listen to others. I gave Moses as a story in a chapter of my book. I said Moses had to go through the desert 40 days from being a prince of Egypt to being thrown out to not having food to eat. He needed to fall on his knees to understand the plight of those who were at that time slaves or had no money. If he was a prince, how could he have fully understood it? He could have observed it, but how could he have understood it? But then when he did, he became so much richer as a human being, and so much more effective as a human being. And if you look to history, whether you're looking at Nelson Mandela, or you're looking at Mother Teresa, who was fighting depression always, people who actually really are the ones that lift us, that elevate us, have had to themselves many times fall and get up. And that's what makes them, to us, be the authentic voice. That's what makes them, when we hear them, we say, they get me. They know where I've been. But if you don't know, then how can you understand that? And that takes a little bit life experience. That takes a little bit humility. Humility is a big one. You have to get humble. And not think that you know everything and you know all the answers and you know everything. But say, okay, God, I didn't get what I thought I was going to get at 24. You know, I thought I was going to be in the film or I didn't get what I wanted at 30. And now at 32, I'm not getting. And, you know, some people will say, oh, 40, I'm not 45. But it doesn't matter. You are exactly where you are intended to be as long as you have lived your truth. If you haven't lived your truth, that's when really the soul suffers. Because they'll say, I never, Mitra, wanted to do this. And then they do. And then they suffer. And then suddenly at 50, 45, 55, 60, they go through this big inner waves, waves, tornadoes. And they go back to what they wanted to do at 13, at 16. So, you know, the thing is not to judge yourself by the chronology of your years, but to not even judge yourself and say, I love myself. It's not perfect, but neither is nature. And trust is a big one. Trusting the universe and God is one thing, and then trusting ourselves. That's where I've heard a lot of like, no, I don't trust myself in the relationship. I'm going to mess it up. It's not going to work for me. It works for other people. No, but not for me. See, all of these are internally related to your faith, to your self-love, to your belief that you can find and obtain and sustain a level of joy and peace, no matter what age you are. This book. has no limitations. No, it's ageless. Like someone was telling me, well, is this a new age book? I said, no, no, no. It's not a new age book. It's actually an old age book because so much of the philosophies are ancient through time. And it applies to all of us. I mean, which one of us doesn't want peace? And if we don't, we have to ask ourselves why. Which one of us doesn't want joy? Which one of us doesn't want love?
- Speaker #0
So there's this quote in the book that struck me. For us to not trust the universe is like saying we do not trust that the day will birth the sun or the night will birth the moon. We cannot deny the presence of the moon, stars, and sun. They exist and come out in a timely manner, no matter what. Everything in existence is governed by a uniquely perfect sort of calibration, and nothing can affect its plan. So when we say we do not trust the universe, we are in essence... saying we do not honor the governor of this huge mansion of life.
- Speaker #1
That's what we're saying. No matter how I feel, is it still not going to be night? No matter how I feel, will the dawn not come? Will there ever be a day where there is no, like we don't say it's daytime, even if it's dark, but it's daytime? Is there a time where there is not air? Is there a time when we don't feel? our breath as we're living. So we have to trust that there is something beyond us and we are part of that. We are, it's the womb and we are in that womb and we are the light. We don't have to run around trying to become someone. We are someone and no one is any one of us but ourselves. No one is Lauren, no one is Mitra. I am someone when I was born into this world. And no matter how many accolades I get and how many achievements, that is not what defines my soul. My soul is defined by how I have loved, how I have served, how I have grown and elevated, and how I have found gratitude in this life, despite what I have or do not have. We've got to let go of certain things. We've got to flow with the universe. We've got to see the messages. And then when we do like you, like you surrender, you're not attached to that outcome. You say, okay, yeah, I would love that award, but that doesn't define me. And when you let go of that defining you, then what happens?
- Speaker #0
It comes.
- Speaker #1
That comes or other things come that are here. Remember, I always, I said this at the very beginning when I met you, when we do this, it's like we're holding tight. What has room to get in there but when we do this? Oh, the breeze and the leaves and the air and so much. So yes, trust, gratitude, surrender, big pillars.
- Speaker #0
And just for those of you listening, Mitra just showed her hands, clasps tight, clutching together. And then she showed them opening up, which allows life to come in. If you had one tip for somebody who is trying right now to have faith. What would you say is a good place or where would be a good place for them to start?
- Speaker #1
Own your feelings first. Don't make yourself feel better. Be truthful to who you are. If you're listening to this and you're crying, let your tears come until they help you find your way. So I would say start with forgiving yourself. forgiving the universe, forgiving those that did not show up or showed up and hurt you. You know, the mantra, Hupono Hono, Hupono Hono, you know, it's about forgiveness. Do that mantra. It's about you forgive. And then you say, I love you. And then you say, I thank you. I forgive the universe for not giving me a mother, a father, for taking my mother when I was five. But I love you. I forgive you, Dad, for walking out on me. I may not understand it, but I love you. And thank you. So allowing. that space of forgiveness to hold love within ourself i forgive you mitra for the many times you stepped on your soul for the many times you did things although you knew you weren't supposed to do them i forgive you But I love you and I thank you for still coming and talking to me. I would start there and from there comes the faith, the light we see that is us. You see, we have never separated from the light or love, but we have closed our eyes to it. Does the light step away from us? Does love step away from us? If you believe in God, does God step away from you? Does the moon and stars step away from you? Does the sky say, no, I don't want to be around Lauren tonight? It still shows up for you. But have you showed up for yourself? And that forgiveness, which comes from self-love, from a space of true. allowing the imperfections of people and the universe and the hand of your fate or karma or whatever you want to call it and saying still i am the child of light i am the light i am the love i am the love no one and nothing will change that till the day i breathe out of this oh mitra that's so good i think
- Speaker #0
That's such an important thing for us to remember is we're in a relationship with ourselves. And I think for me, at least, it's harder to forgive myself than it has been to forgive God or anyone else in my life. I am way harder on myself than anybody else or anything else. That was a really important reminder.
- Speaker #1
We're always hard on ourselves, right? You know, you didn't do this good enough. You're not pretty enough. You're not skinny enough. You got too many wrinkles. You got things. And then, you know, how does that serve us? Who set those rules? Who said that I am not beautiful as I am? Who said I'm not good as I am? If I am being of light and I am compassionate and kind, that's plenty. What's on the outside is a skeleton. If you really pay attention, the people who are beautiful are people that you feel the joy and light exudes from them. It's not the people who have the perfect skin or are the size, whatever. After a while, you don't even notice that, do we? We just see, oh my God, look at those eyes. I could drown myself in them. And that's the most beautiful thing. So I want to tell young people, don't run trying to catch the wind. Sit with the breeze. Because the wind will constantly change direction. Allow the breeze to tantalize your senses. What are you running for? There is nothing to run for. There is only this, this moment and life itself to be lived. And that takes conditioning, I have to say.
- Speaker #0
Yeah.
- Speaker #1
That takes mindfulness. Just understand that what I have, this moment, I'm supposed to fully embrace because who knows what the next moment is. We always expect these grand moments like, oh, that wedding day. Oh, that funeral, that two minutes there. Oh, that birthday cake, blowing the birthday cake. No, no, the moment. Every moment is your birthday. Every moment is your celebration of living your life as you are intended to live. Enjoy understanding that pain is a process of growth at times. You're not to shy away from it, but find in it the pearls of wisdom that will bring you a peaceful joy.
- Speaker #0
So speaking of that, this incredible pillar of vulnerability and embracing vulnerability. I love this chapter so much because of its link to creativity. Would you talk about the role of vulnerability in our lives?
- Speaker #1
Vulnerability is our biggest strength. It is not our weakness. The one who is vulnerable is the most courageous, is the strongest. Because in...
- Speaker #0
vulnerability, you see the cracks of light that pour into your heart. And through those cracks of each tear that drops from your eyes, you're gaining a wisdom. You are finding a knowledge to yourself. You are saying, I am raw. I am fallen. But the glory is in the fall. It's not in the standing up. Because it's when you fall that you feel really the presence. of the divine. As you break, you feel the divine work through you. You feel your ancestors work through you. So how glorious is that? But when you get up, then you kind of forget. that you are connected to that. You are each moment vulnerable. Living life is the vulnerable thing itself. So vulnerability is the gateway to higher connections, the gateway to God, the gateway to devotion, the gateway to self-love. Vulnerability is key. Without vulnerability, we would be like the robots. Yeah, we stand, we function, we do, But where is this? I'm a soul. I'm not here to be pretending to be strong. I'm pretending I don't need the universe and don't need God and don't need therapy and don't need love. No, that's a facade. I am the soul yearning. I'm a seeker. You're a seeker. And when we're vulnerable, we fall in love, right? we open our hearts. When we become mothers, we're most vulnerable to this baby we're now responsible for. When we create a project, a book, a song, we're vulnerable. Everyone's going to read so many of my stories. Someone said to me, oh my God, you talked about this experience and that. I said, yes, because how can you tell people or teach people if you don't say, I am the student myself. You are a teacher and student. I'm a student and teacher. You're vulnerable. I'm vulnerable. You're strong. I'm strong. But vulnerability is our biggest strength.
- Speaker #1
You say vulnerability is the source of any impactful creative expression. Can you share on that?
- Speaker #0
When you want to write a poem, when you want to write a song, when you want to play a piece of music. you go to the place in you, that place in you that's deep within you like the ocean, where your memories are, where your pain is, where your heartache is, where your joys are too. But some of those joys have been birthed because of the pain. And then you've got to take that, channel it, bring it out through an instrument, whether it's your pen or your voice or your acting or whatever. And you got to become that again. The creative expression is becoming again what is within you. Or maybe. a lid was put on it. And then you presented to people the song. You wrote that song? Oh, my God, that's so dark. Were you feeling that? Oh, my God, you wrote that poem. It shows you went through a lot of depression. Were you feeling that? That is the artist, right? Saying, here, yeah. And that's what makes a great artist from a mediocre artist. The great artist will bear its soul and not be fearful of judgment. and that's what creates tremendously great art.
- Speaker #1
And in the book, you share at the end of each chapter, of each pillar, some exercises that we can do to start to call this into our lives. Could you share an exercise for vulnerability on how we can start to cultivate that?
- Speaker #0
Well, for vulnerability, there are many, many exercises. I would say one of the things is when you're feeling vulnerable to allow your vulnerability fully to be available to you. And I would say one of the exercises is to take down the noise, the actual physical noise. Physical noise aggravates the soul when it's vulnerable. I would say one of the exercises is maybe listen to water sounds. Water sounds are plentiful tears, right? And melodies. Listen to the sounds of birds. Let them sing to your soul. Five minutes a day. 10 minutes a day. Another exercise. Don't talk to people who aggravate you, who will judge you. In the space of vulnerability, that will become so exaggerated to you. Then you will be really judging yourself harshly. Rather than that, say to them, I'm... taking some me time. You know how many me times I take? A lot. Because when you also are a teacher, a guide, a person like yourself in public life, you need a lot of me time because there's a lot of noise, right? Tell people I'm taking me time. Your girlfriend talks to you every day, nonstop. No, let's do the noise less. Let's do the theater less. Let's allow to see where this vulnerability, which treasure. is it going to unfold? So the exercises I would say is allow the quiet. Instead of filling the spaces, empty the spaces. Instead of running to the gym, put a song on and do a little yoga or a little dance at home. don't fill yourself with too much noise and chatter and so many people and so much physical equipment and physical stuff. Empty the spaces and find that diamond and wrench that's within you.
- Speaker #1
I love that visual. Surrender is also something that you emphasize in the book. And I think it kind of feels like it rhymes with faith to me. those two are for me, like a handshake, surrender and faith. In the book, this was a quote, surrender is the final part to learning about how to trust the universe, you say. Why is that?
- Speaker #0
You are saying I release control. It's like the bird that takes off to fly. When you learn surrender. then you can fly without needing to control. Because when you fly, you can't control it. So surrender is the ultimate act of faith. It's not about giving up. It's about giving in to the splendor of being. For I trust you. I have faith in you. I have faith that I am part of you. Control is such an illusion. Who has control over anything in the world? Nothing. Control is the biggest illusion. People think fear is the big thing. I say control is, which has fear in it. But it's control. There's not such a thing as control. What can we control? We are here. To live this life and learn to live it in loving with an open heart, surrendering to the wisdom that each day we are given through messages of the universe, through angels that walk in our lives, through people that walk in our lives that are whispering wisdom that they give us. And through that comes our surrender, the total trust that it will be as it will be.
- Speaker #1
I had this thought when you were talking. About people who try to control but like rebrand it as love. And I've been one of those people before. And I think I've been in that a lot on my creative journey. I'm like, I love this thing. I love this thing. I love it so much. Why won't it come to me? I mean, I did love it. But the overriding thing was I was trying to control it. I wonder if you might share a little bit about the difference between real love and control.
- Speaker #0
Well, first of all, real love has no need to control. Second of all, what you said, you really love something, but you still really love it. But you maybe before attach yourself to the outcome, to controlling the outcome. The outcome has nothing to do with loving. I love writing, but whether my book will sell one copy or a thousand copies, I have no control. And I should not be attached to that. I should be only thinking of loving it. Loving means... allowing the heart to be open to the godliness. And that has nothing to do with control. Control has to do with a fear-based idea that getting this is somehow going to make me more whole. The fear of if I don't get it, will I not be whole? And being whole has nothing to do with control. It has something to do with love. And love is free of control. Loving someone is free of wanting to control them. Loving an art is freeing that art to take whatever shape it wants. Loving a song is the same. Loving your voice is the same. So love means us in flight. Control means us scared of the flight. Fear of the fall. There is a big difference.
- Speaker #1
You talk too in the book about the difference between surrender and giving up. Why is it not? giving up to surrender? What's the difference between those two?
- Speaker #0
Surrender means you do what you can. I do my best. I write my book. I don't give up on it. I try to bring it into the world. But then I trust the sale. And that trusting of the sale is the surrender. That's not a giving up. It's trusting, Sam. Giving up means that you give up on yourself or a dream or something because you feel not worthy of it or you can't control it or whatever. But surrender is nothing to do about giving up. Surrender means I bow to the universe. I bow to a wisdom that's greater than mine. I bow to my own liberation. I give up on love. I meet wonderful people. Nope. not going to happen. That's giving up. Surrendering means, okay, it hasn't happened. I'm 45, but let's see whatever is supposed to be. And then I could possibly meet someone at a grocery store and look, maybe the person's very different than what I thought of, but maybe it awakens something in me. That's surrendering. I bow to the wisdom of the universe.
- Speaker #1
I love, it reminds me of when I was first, when I first met my boyfriend, like about a week before I met him, I prayed this prayer and I said, God, if I am meant to be with someone, just make it really easy, like drop them in front of my face so I can't miss it. And if I'm not meant to be with someone, that's totally fine, but just give me peace in my heart about it. And I like, I trust whatever you think is best for me. And then that basically happened.
- Speaker #0
I love when that happens, but I want to tell people that doesn't happen. I think one thing about this book is the 11 pillars make you understand you can be whole by yourself. Like I told you, the father, mother, boyfriend, child, job are external pillars, which we love. But the inner sanctuary, once built strong, you said you never questioned faith. Inner sanctuary built strong, does not collapse. Patience, when you condition yourself, you become patient. So many people will say, oh, I never was patient, but now I'm so patient. All of these, service, purification, all of these become your inner sanctuary. So you then attach not yourself to external things, whether they happen or not, wonderful. But if they don't, you are whole as you are. Like I told you, you are already somebody.
- Speaker #1
Mitra, so beautiful. Hey, creative, if you love the show and it is meant a lot to you, could you do me a favor? Rate and review on Apple. Give it a review on Spotify. Share it with a friend. These things all make a major difference in a podcaster's life and in growing their show. And I really want to build up this community of creatives who love, trust, and know themselves and love, trust, and deeply know others. So if you could do that and share the show with someone you care about, that would mean so much. All right. I love you. I know you had a few passages that you really wanted to share. Is that still something you'd like to bring out?
- Speaker #0
I know a lot of people are going through pain. So there's one thing I wrote about myself and it says, there's something I've practiced through the years that helped me heal. I allow pain and I allow grief and I allow and trust the process. When someone says to me, when are you going to get over this? I say. Right now I own my pain and that means I still hold to it until. I can let it go. So I want people who are paining out there, who are having grief for whatever reason, it's okay. But I wanted to read a little part about Abu because we talked a lot about the teachings and I just want to give a little peek into Abu because Abu approaches a pillar and the night air is filled with a magical radiance. And a deep sense of joy and wonderment fills his heart. And then he sees a single star twirl in front of him and dances around his head. And he wonders what this is. And he hears a whisper. You are at the pillar of faith. Faith? Abu asks. Is that the first pillar? And the star says, yes, it is before all else. What do you mean before all else? He asks. I mean, it's been here within you before you were even born. And then the engines. unfold. So I want people that are hearing this to know that from the time they came and before even, they were brilliant, they were loving, they were light-filled, they were love-filled. And this book hopefully will awaken them to those things again and help them cultivate it and cement it and anchor it in their life. That is really my hope that this will be a gateway for each person. in our world to find more fulfillment and meaning and peace.
- Speaker #1
Well, I know it will be. Each chapter, each pillar is packed with so much wisdom and practical advice and stories that help you anchor into what the whole thing is really about. So I can't wait to read and reread it as I always do with your writings because I absorb something different every single time. it's interesting, Mitra, like I know this is a four-year process, but as all the teachings would suggest, it's coming out in exactly the right timing because I feel like these are all the topics I am thinking about so much right now and that I hear the collective talking about right now and that we need in order to get us through a very turbulent time in humanity.
- Speaker #0
you know it's so interesting because i had told my editor please let's finish the book and let's not release it in the summer let any season but the summer summer is vacation time this time and guess what happened the universe said it's the summer and then i thought the other night though getting a couple emails from my students oh no this is the time to release this book because our world is suffering on so many levels you and there's so much going on in our own backyards. So many people are anticipating even more going on. So hopefully this will be one of the books that can help us anchor ourselves. And I tell people this, you know, when I buy a book, sometimes I buy two. I buy one for myself and one for someone I think needs it. Not to say is into that. No, needs it. We all need to be reminded of who we are.
- Speaker #1
Yes. And that who we are is the best thing about us. And that's exactly what this book does. Where can we all run to get this book as soon as possible to start remembering that?
- Speaker #0
Thank God for online platform. It's going to be on Amazon, so that's where it's going to start being. And I am grateful to you, Lauren, thankful to you, more than anything grateful. That's the word that comes. You always have walked your truth, and you've developed a platform where people can come and speak their minds and their hearts without ever feeling they're being judged on any level. And you give voice to so many who may not necessarily have other platforms to go on to. So I thank you. I'm grateful for you. I think you are such a model for a young person of what true growth and a life of faith and belief. can bring, you know, for a person. So I want to thank you. And I know that this podcast will be as always with me and you, it will have its own journey and do what it needs to do.
- Speaker #1
It always does. First of all, I have to say thank you for that beautiful thought. But also when we get together to record, something magical always happens. and with very minimal effort, the show ends up reaching more people than it usually does. So I think that's because there is such a mutual love and respect, and I've said it before, but I think it bears repeating every time I see you. You saw me and held space for me and were there for me in one of the most difficult times of my life and validated that I was on the right path. And... that I didn't need to like conjure up some sort of self. Like I was already okay just like being who I was and in that moment and that my life basically wasn't over. At 26, for some reason, I just had this total crisis where I was like, nothing I've ever done matters or ever will. and you brought me back to earth at a really, really crucial time. Back to earth and back to faith. Both, because we need to be both, right? Like we're spiritual beings that are having a physical experience. I just love you and adore you in whatever way I can ever support you. I'm here. I support you because your work is so needed. This book is very needed.
- Speaker #0
Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. And I thank everyone who's been listening. I thank them for receiving us with their open hearts.
- Speaker #1
Yes. My sweet creative cuties. We love you so much. Go out, get Mitra's book. Don't forget to leave it a rating and review on Amazon. That really, really helps. And Goodreads too. We all have to support each other. Mitra is putting this out independently and we want it to grow as big as it possibly can because it will really, really help the world right now. So definitely do that if you have time and pick up a copy. Amitra, I love you so much. Thank you for being who you are. Thanks for listening and thanks to my guest, Mitra Abar. To get her book, go to Amazon.com and remember to leave her a rating and review on both Amazon and on Goodreads. For more info on Mitra, follow her at Voice of Mitra and visit her website, voiceofmitra.com to learn more about her. Thanks to Rachel Fulton for helping edit and associate produce this episode. Follow her at Rachel M. Fulton. Thanks to Liz Full for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag the guests at Voice of Mitra so she can share as well. My wish for you this week is for you to get quiet and forgive yourself. This is a key to moving through disappointment and toward our goals. and just having a better life. You deserve the same compassion that you give others. So try it. I love you and I believe in you. I'll talk with you next week.
