Speaker #0Hello, my sweet creative cutie. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. Today, you're going to hear an episode all about how to get younger with age. Yes, we found the fountain of youth right here at Unleash Your Inner Creative. Breaking news. It's actually the topic from my sub stack that I did about a week ago, and it details my journey from 22 to 36 and why I feel younger now at 36 than I did at 22. And it comes down to one thing, self-acceptance. So you'll hear all about that in the audio that comes after this. But I want to share why I wanted to share this with you first. Number one, there's a lot going on right now in my creative life. I just took on a new producing gig. I am up at Michigan State this week speaking to the entrepreneurship program and the theater program about unleashing your creativity and the power of being a late bloomer. and I just started this sub stack. So there's like a lot of new creative projects going, and I'm going to be completely frank with you. I'm struggling to keep them all balanced and to know how much content to repeat. So that's why I wanted to take a minute to share this content with you that I think is really strong. And I don't know how much content to repeat, honestly. Most of you probably haven't heard this or read this, so it's going to be new for you. Or even if you have, it's probably good for you to hear again. But... you know, as an Aquarius, I struggle with ever repeating myself, even though I know as a creative, if you don't have a repetition problem, you have a problem. People think they want originality, but what they really want is comfort. So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you because I have to keep it real. But the other reason I wanted to share this beyond the fact that I wasn't in a place to create an all new solo episode for you this week is because I really believe your 20s are some of the hardest years of your life. Don't get me wrong. 30s have their challenges. But because now I have this self-acceptance piece, this self-love piece, and some tools that I've learned from almost a decade in therapy and working in the self-development space, I feel lighter than I did back then. Because I know no one has the answers. When I was in my 20s, I thought I was supposed to have all the right answers immediately and that I was a failure if I didn't. I just really want to help young people know. that they don't need to know everything, that you can never know everything, and that they're in the right place, the exact right place. And it's okay to stumble, especially when you're young. It's okay to stumble anytime, but especially when you're a youngster. I wish I would have given myself more grace to do that. So this is for everybody listening to either love and heal their inner 20-something that maybe felt pressure or felt like a failure or felt not enough. to keep them in your heart and mind. Just as we keep our inner child, we have to keep the younger versions of ourselves in our hearts and minds and work on healing them. Or if you are a 20-something, to know that you're in exactly the right place, you have time, it's okay and normal that you don't have it all figured out right now. And I promise you, things will get better and you'll get to a place where you feel more peace and fulfillment, success, and self-acceptance. So This is for all of us out there, whether you're a 20-something or you have an inner 20-something, enjoy this episode and learn how to get younger with age. How to get younger with age. Why youth, like everything, is an inside job by Lauren LaGrasso. I feel younger at 36 than I did at 22. At 22, I felt immense pressure that I was getting old and that I better figure out the entirety of my life path. now. I had just moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dreams of becoming a professional actress. All of my self-worth hung in the balance of what I did in the world and how much I could achieve. I felt that I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, smart enough, talented enough, connected enough. And on top of that, it was all my fault. I honestly felt like crusty macaroni inside. You know, when you leave mac and cheese out for too long in the open air forms that weird slash gross hard shell on the outside of the noodles from sitting in the pot or bowl. That's how I felt. The times I was told by the cast of Friends, Society, and basically everyone would be the best years of my life, I was out in these LA streets feeling like failing crusty macaroni. It's no wonder why I felt elderly. Now, on the other hand, at 36, I feel like my life has just begun and is full of possibility. I've been in Los Angeles for 14 years. and know all of its tricks and treats. I realize who I am is the best thing about me, not what I do. I see my life path as an ever-evolving map that could lead anywhere. And while that's a little scary, it's also really exciting. I love the way I feel and even like the way I look. I'm grateful for my powerful body and I am astounded that I finally have a relationship instead of a war with her. I am still incredibly ambitious, but I know that whether or not I accomplish my exact goals that I have inherent worth. I also know if I miss my target, it often means that something even better could be on the way. Most of all, I love myself and know who I am. I feel like an ice rink right after the Zamboni has cleaned it. Fresh, brilliant, shining, and ready for creativity to dance upon and through me. Oh, and I'm finally in a good relationship too, which I thought was an impossibility in my 20s. Side note, when I got married this summer, I literally found myself asking, am I too young to be married? Yes. In a time when most of the world would consider me to be a geriatric bride, I was feeling so youthful. that I had a fleeting thought that maybe I was too young to be a wife. Turns out it was perfect timing, but the fact that I thought that for a second still makes me LOL. So why is it that in my late 30s I'm feeling younger than ever? It's simple. I believe youth is not the absence of age. It's the presence of self-acceptance. I finally love, trust, and accept myself. Because of that, for the first time in my life, I feel young. We're taught youth is something we start with and lose. And while that is literally true, I can honestly say I never felt young until my 30s. Even as a teenager, I would cry because I didn't feel I was doing enough to make a difference in the world. The truth is, feeling young begins when you finally like and love yourself. I'd wager to say that ambitious people in their 20s are probably the oldest young people we have. They feel so much pressure and that pressure makes them aged on the inside, though their outside appearance tells a youthful story. Speaking of which, let me take you back to my first year in Los Angeles. After I finished up my internship on The Ellen Show, which is what brought me here, I booked my first ever paid film acting gig. That was in December. After that, I went home for Christmas. And when I came back, I was sure that I was going to book the lead on a sitcom and sail off into the sunset to become the biggest star Los Angeles had ever known. What really happened was I flew back to LA in January and it was Cricketsville, USA. I was having a really hard time getting anyone to notice me as an actress and I was desperate to get an agent. I finally found one and then months later learned that she left both town and the industry without even telling me. I was going to all these weird auditions. I even auditioned in some creepy warehouse for the same producers who wrote, and I use that word lightly, Rebecca Black's Friday. They liked me from the initial audition and they sent me a very strange song called Lauren in the Club. I wrote back with some ideas on how to make the song more authentic to me. Needless to say, I never heard back from them. I booked some featured background work, a few student films, some theater, but every single moment was a struggle and very much not in flow. I felt the clock was ticking. In my head, if I didn't make it by 25, my life and career would be over. Because we all know women in this town have an expiration date. By the way, a PR guy in his 50s actually said that to me when I was in my early 20s, which didn't help how I was already feeling. Also, at the time, I was working in the front desk at a yoga studio, part receptionist, part janitor, part emotional support human for people coming out of hot vinyasa. It was humbling. And because of where my self-worth was at the time, I took every shift as proof that I was failing. A reminder, that I wasn't living the life I had come here for. When I look back on this time, a few things are clear. One, I had rebranded disappointment as failure. I hadn't even tried acting long enough to fail, but I was just so disappointed that it devastated my soul and sucked the joy right out of it. Two, I had a false sense of urgency. Because my career wasn't happening fast, I thought I was doomed, not realizing all businesses take time to scale. Three. I was giving away my power. Rather than looking at my career from an entrepreneurial point of view, I was waiting for someone to give me an opportunity. And four, and most importantly, I didn't have internal self-worth. I thought my whole being was tied up in what I did and my accolades. So if I had no accolades, I had nothing and was nothing. Writing this actually brings tears to my eyes. I desperately wish I could meet with my younger self, give her a hug, and tell her to stop. being so hard on herself. To remind her that disappointment is not the same thing as failure, that all human beings have inherent worth, and that there is no time limit on pursuing your dreams. But I didn't know that back then. So eventually, I had to make a change. with the knowledge I had. When I was 26, I started working in radio. And at that time, I realized I had to put my dream of acting on pause. That was one of the smartest and hardest things I've ever done. I'll write more about it soon because it's too deep of a story to delve into here. But that was the first time I started to realize that there was a me beyond how I was perceived by others and my outward success or lack thereof. I knew back then I wanted acting more than I wanted myself. It was like any other codependent or abusive relationship. Walking away from acting was the first time I fully chose myself. That was 10 years ago. From that point on, it has been an unfolding into wholeness that I never realized was possible. It was slow at first. I got into therapy, then got out of a bad relationship, left jobs that didn't serve me, shed people who made me constrict, found a love that made me feel more like myself. took a chance on myself and went toward my dreams of music and podcasting without asking someone else for permission. Then when I turned 33, something miraculous happened. In the spiritual community, they call 33 your Jesus year. This is supposed to be a year of deep importance. Now, for some reason, despite being very well acquainted with what happened to Jesus when he turn 33, the crucifixion. I, in my eternal optimism, Figured it would probably mean I'd have the best year of my life. And in some ways it really was. Not because it was super fun or full of accomplishment, but because it was the year I was reborn. My old life order died and I adopted something that year that brought me into a new era. As things started not going my way again at that age, many failures, disappointments, and feelings of falling behind, I finally had a realization. No amount of outside success or approval would ever or could ever save me. That I could get everything I wanted and still not be happy. That contentment and peace was an inside job between me and my higher power. Nothing at all that ever lived outside of my relationship to myself and my relationship to God could ever give me real peace. And the second I could stop believing the myth that I will be happy when blank. is the moment that I could actually accept myself and be able to pursue my dreams from a place of joy versus a need for validation. This was the year that I realized who I am is the best thing about me and that there's no accomplishment or failure that could ever change my inherent worth. This is true for every single one of us. Yet, because of a great many things, we work overtime thinking we need to earn our space on earth. I realized nothing I'd ever done that was considered impressive by the outside world took away the hunger of needing to be seen and validated away. It was a bottomless pit, and I wasn't going to keep feeding it anymore. I was going to start loving myself for who I was, not what I did, and going after my dreams from a platform of self-love versus a need for validation. As I write this, I realize maybe I feel so young because in my new way of being, I'm only three. A mere toddler. These days, my life feels softer and more spacious. I wake up, and most days, I don't immediately judge myself for where I am or where I should be. I laugh more. I let myself rest. I let myself play. They're both part of the creative process after all. I say yes when something feels expansive and no when something feels like contraction. Life on the other side has been lighter, fuller. and ironically more successful to the outside world. But I just don't care as much. When I have big successes, I'm happy, but I'm not over the top. And when I fail, I'm bummed out, but I don't feel like the world is ending. I feel curious again. I feel connected again. I feel present. I live a life of balance. And for the first time, I feel oh so young. So remember, youth is not something you lose with age. Youth is what returns to you when you stop abandoning yourself and remember your inherent worth. So now it turns to you. How do you feel? Can you name a time or times in your youth that you felt old? And in what ways do you feel younger now than you did then? Share in the comments. And remember, the key to a youthful face and soul is in self-acceptance. Love you.
